January 7, 2025 • 32 mins
For more than 30 years, Corinna Wood has supported thousands of women on their journeys of healing and wholeness—including founding and running the largest herbal conference in the U.S.
Drawing from her background in herbalism and the knowledge of the natural world, combined with feminism and spiritual psychology, she’s created unique, earth-based, woman-centered tools for inner growth and healing.
According to the ‘godmother of herbalism’ Rosemary Gladstar, “Corinna has created a holistic approach to healing from the inside out that leads us home to the sacred center of self.”
She’s a popular guest on a variety of podcasts, including: Mountain Rose Herb Radio, Voices of the Sacred Feminine, Herbs with Rosalee, and Crone Power Interviews.
Connect with Corinna:
Web: CorinnaWood.com
IG: corinna.wood.wisewomenstudios
FB: Corinna Wood, Holistic Women’s Wisdom
FB: Along the Wise Woman Path
Drawing from her background in herbalism and the knowledge of the natural world, combined with feminism and spiritual psychology, she’s created unique, earth-based, woman-centered tools for inner growth and healing.
According to the ‘godmother of herbalism’ Rosemary Gladstar, “Corinna has created a holistic approach to healing from the inside out that leads us home to the sacred center of self.”
She’s a popular guest on a variety of podcasts, including: Mountain Rose Herb Radio, Voices of the Sacred Feminine, Herbs with Rosalee, and Crone Power Interviews.
Connect with Corinna:
Web: CorinnaWood.com
IG: corinna.wood.wisewomenstudios
FB: Corinna Wood, Holistic Women’s Wisdom
FB: Along the Wise Woman Path
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm
talking all about the life you can live after divorce.
You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how
they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice
from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little
about me. I'm a former TV producer and mom of two.
I got divorced in two thousand and eight when there
were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to.
(00:22):
So I'm paying it forward and have created a platform
to help men and women learn that there absolutely is
a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with
me on this journey and paint your brand new blank
canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought
to in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm Guidance
that Moves lives forward. Welcome to another episode of Divorce
(00:43):
Doesn't Suck. I'm your host, Wendy Sloan and my guest
today went through a divorce almost twenty years ago and
today is happily ever after. And for over thirty years,
she has supported thousands of women on their journey of
healing and wholeness, including founding and running the largest herbal
conference in the United States, creating unique earth based women's
(01:03):
center tools for inner growth and healing. That sounds so lovely.
I can't wait to dive into this. So I'm excited
to introduce her and can't wait to learn so much more.
Welcome to my show, Corina would.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Thank you, Wendy. I'm so glad to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I am fascinated by you and I there is just
so much to talk about and to dive into. And
according to the godmother of herbalism, Rosemary Gladstar, you have
created a holistic approach to healing from the inside out
that leads us home to the sacred center of self.
And I love that sacred center of self. So let's
(01:44):
before we get into everything and dive deep into your
background and holistic healing, which I'm a big fan of.
Can we start with your personal story?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yes, of course. Yeah. So I was showing up in
adult world relationships in ways that were not healthy for me,
and I know this is a story that's familiar to
many of your listeners and rooted in difficult childhood experiences.
(02:14):
My brain had normalized, toxic and painful relationships. And so
what I can see in hindsight now is that I
was drawn to people who were not meeting my needs
for safety or respect and actually holding it at arm's length.
(02:40):
Those who did show up in a place of safety
and respect and valuing for me. And so this stress
of that all made me very sick, and I'm glad
to be alive today. And what got me out was
(03:03):
a process of really rewiring my brain two needs based consciousness,
so orienting toward even like these very basic needs that
I just touched on, safety, respect and valuing. These are
(03:25):
all innate human needs. And it's amazing how difficult it
can be when we have internalized beliefs like I'm not
worthy of love or I'll always be abandoned, as I had,
how difficult it can be to actually see those needs
(03:48):
as valid and normal and natural. And as I was
in that process of recognizing, like wow, like my little
girl inside is like freaking out, and oh, maybe that's
(04:09):
not something that I should be squashing down just because
my partner's criticizing me for that. Maybe it's actually something
that I need to listen to, Like that young part
inside that's like, WHOA, this isn't safe, We're not being respected.
And so the more I was able to turn my
attention to yeah, those younger parts and in particular all
(04:35):
parts of me, all ages, because we as adults are
very much still needing this safety and respect and valuing, love, clarity.
Those are all groups of basic human needs that we're
often really taught to disconnect from, right and so over time,
(05:03):
as I was in single years and took some years
of celibacy and just reconnecting with myself and as you
I'm I'm sure familiar with and encourage your listeners really
developing that relationship with loving myself, loving yourself, then I
(05:24):
was able to enter re enter a healthy relationship which
would not have even like the person that I fell
in love with wouldn't even have crossed my radar, like
because she was showing up in respect and valuing for
me and in safety like that wouldn't have been exciting
(05:47):
earlier in my adult life. It wouldn't have been attractive
and interesting. But I was able to shift towards what
is healthy for me.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
And so did you get to that, Corina? How did
you get to that where you were able to do that?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, so a lot of it was through this process
of paying attention to my needs, and it became over
time attractive that she was showing up in a place
of really having a lot of clarity in the communication.
So clarity is another of these innate human needs. And
(06:24):
I was used to relationships that were very you know,
confusing and where there was a lot of drama and
long discussions and you know, coll involuted logic and finally
by recognizing no, I need clarity, like that's not healthy
(06:48):
for me. I'll actually tell you there was one there
was a moment that I remember where in my process,
in my single time in between the unhealthy phase on
the healthy base, I was doing like a meditation. I
did a lot of journaling around this, and I put
(07:09):
my arm around my younger self and I was like,
you know, we had met somebody that kind of reminded
me of those dynamics that I've found attractive before. And
I was like, yeah, no, we are not going there, Like,
I know this has been very attractive in the past,
(07:30):
and I know that it can be really juicy, and
for our health and safety, I'm the adult here, I'm
making the executive decision, and we are moving in this
direction of health and safety and clarity. So today, happily,
ever after, Today, happily, ever after, we're building our home together.
(07:53):
We've been together for eight years now, and yeah, lifetime
committed partnership and with just a night and day difference
of what it is like to know that I am
loved and to show up in mutual respect and valuing
for one another.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I love that. I love that for you, and I
wish that for everybody else. I peeped down into your
holistic healing background and how it all began for you.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah. Thanks, So I in my twenties early twenties started
studying herbalism. I guess I started before that as a
kid because I was always drawn to nature, you know,
like climbing the big beach tree in front of my
house and making flower crowns with the dandelions, and so
(08:46):
when things were hard in childhood, I always turned to
nature as a place of solace, and likewise an adulthood.
I entered adulthood knowing I had a lot of healing
to do and it was natural to turn to the earth.
So herbal medicine became my first love focus in the
(09:07):
holistic healing spectrum, and over the decades of working primarily
with women is became my focus. As I would teachable
classes and I would have like twenty women and one
man show up, and I realized on the nights that
(09:30):
the fella didn't come that then the women would ask
deeper and deeper questions about like rest, health or menopause
or other issues that were going on that they were
inhibited to talk about with the men in the room.
So I took it as a signal to like that
I had more to offer when it was groups of
(09:51):
only women. So I focused on herbs for women. I
started an rbal medicine company, Red Moon Herbs, ran that
for twenty years, which I've since passed the baton on
Genie Dunn in Asheville, North Carolina. And I also, as
you said, started the Southeast Wise Women Urbal Conference. Ran
(10:14):
that for fifteen years until twenty nineteen, and it was
the largest urbal conference in the country. It was all women,
over a thousand women each fall annually. And then overlapping
with all of that, I've been teaching for over thirty
years and through my own personal journey and through the
(10:37):
work with women in all these different contexts, and understanding
the issues that they were facing, and I was facing
on deeper emotional levels that informed the stress and in
many cases, the illnesses that we were trying to tweat Physically,
I turned my attention to the heart and soul levels
(11:01):
of healing, applying Nature's lens to that inner growth and healing.
And so the wise woman needs will is now central
to my teaching, and it's a visual wheel that I've
developed which overlays the cycles of nature with our innate
(11:25):
human needs.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Amazing. Why do you think it's so hard for women
to pay attention to their needs?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah, so we are socialized to put the needs of
others before our own, and then we end up feeling
depleted or exhausted or burned out. I mean when we
(11:56):
have strong emotions, like the rough emotions like sadness and anger,
grief and fear, those signal to us that we have
underlying unmet needs. Like that's just a principle of psychology
(12:17):
and nonviolent communication that when we're having these difficult feelings,
that is signaling underlying on met needs. And I think
it's really telling that. You know, here, I've often been told, oh,
(12:38):
you're too emotional, you know, there's a reason that women
that we're having all these emotions. And it's not just
true for women, for men as well. It's signaling the
underlying on met needs. And so especially as women, when
we've been told, oh, it's selfish to focus on your
(13:00):
own needs, you shouldn't do that, because that's that's being
selfish and bond that's part of the cultural programming that
keeps us focused on nurturing other people. And so this
process of reclaiming our needs is really important for women
(13:26):
to reclaim our lives.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And how does that how does that tuning into your
needs help set boundaries and relationship?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, so okay, to just take a pause.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I'm just absolutely well, we'll I'll take a We're going
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and save fifty dollars on your device. We're back with
Corina Woods. So I was asking you a question. You
needed to take a break and a pause, and I
wonder about that. Why was that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Just that place of breath Like this is so excited.
I'm so eager and so excited to share this with you.
I'm actually just so excited to share this with this audience,
pifically about women who are uh and I know you
(16:06):
have men as well, in the process of considering divorce,
in the throes of divorce or on the other side,
because I've seen that a lot in my students, and
it's not a it's not something that I've intentionally sought out.
So this is really fun for me to speak from
(16:27):
this place like I have. I hear from students who
are posting the needs wheel on their fridge and they
are like wow, like I can, like it's natural for
me to have all these needs and it's helping them
find their way out of a decade long unsatisfying marriage
(16:49):
or another. I think of another who carried the needs
will with her from hotel room to a hotel room
as she was moving to another state, leaving a narcissistic,
abusive husband. And then others who are asking more of
their husbands, and their husbands are stepping up, like Ailah,
(17:10):
who says she at last finally feels heard and understood
because she has this language of the needs for the
first time in her life. So anyway, oh, it's all
very closest to my heart.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, I guess setting boundaries and letting people know that
you you know, because they I think as women, you know,
we're caretakers and we're givers and that's all we do.
And we're the last ones to eat where, the last
ones to sit down. We're the last ones to get
it right. That's how we are. So own needs is
healthy for everybody around us exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
And so in terms of setting boundaries. Thank you for
asking about that. It's when we're aware of our own needs,
then you can ask for what you want. You can
also be willing to hear no for an answer, knowing
that there's multiple strategies to meet those needs. So when
(18:12):
I say that, for example, I can my friends my
own unhealthy strategy in a difficult relationship trying to meet
my needs for love and connection, which was tragically unmeeting
needs for safety and respect. And so that is the
(18:32):
ultimate boundary and decision is, oh okay, if you're not
willing to meet my needs for safety and respect, then
I may choose to meet it in a different way
by leaving the relationship or by choosing a healthier relationship
for me. There are many smaller boundaries that you can
(18:55):
make as well, where you're just saying like, oh, okay,
you wanna go out for a walk every morning, Well,
I really need to focus on work stuff. If you're
going to be doing that, then I'm not going to
be available to eat lunch with you or you know,
(19:18):
those kind of negotiations. And so the connection with your
needs really helps to differentiate yourself from other people. To
know where you end and they begin.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
It's help to be respectful of both of your needs.
I want to dive a.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Little bit back into the wise Woman Needs weal and
how it can help women who are considering going through
a divorce, or are going through a divorce, or who
have gone through a divorce.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, so as you're in the process of considering divorce,
what I've heard from a number of my students is that,
as it was for me, this awareness of your needs
is a very powerful way to evaluate and assess the
(20:17):
health of the relationship. Because healthy relationships are mutually growth enhancing.
That's a term from Jeene Baker Miller Institute. And you
feel like a sense of energy and zest when you're
with a person. When you leave them, you're looking forward
to time together as opposed to an unhealthy relationship where
(20:40):
you feel drained, you feel hurt. And then that's reflecting
that those unmet needs. And so when you're having persistent
I mean, of course we all have, you know, tired
times or sad times, but when you're having really persistent
exhaust and fatigue, range, fear, grief, going to okay, what
(21:09):
are the needs that are underlying that? Like, Wow, when
I leave my time with this person, I'm feeling so down. Gosh,
my needs for wow, valuing and empowerment and dignity really
aren't being met. That allows you to also assess, not
(21:33):
just by yourself, although that's a very important part of
the process, if you are with this person and you're
assessing the like, can we make it work? Like what
if I communicate in a way that is more based
in my that's less blaming and more needs based, would
it be possible that we could make it work? You
(21:56):
can try that out, so you can say, like, wow,
when I when you close the door when you were
leaving quickly, you know you close the door quick I
felt hurt around my needs for communication, valuing, and just
(22:19):
see how that lands, because that is not saying when
you walked out pissed off at me, I thought you
were a jerk, because that kind of thing, Like it's
easy for people to just you know, spiral down, But
if you're really speaking from your own heartful, vulnerable way,
(22:41):
which is wow, my needs for communication or valuing or
love and connection weren't met in that moment, in this
really non judgmental way. Just notice, like sometimes people will
attack you. That keeps happening is probably not a sign
(23:04):
of a healthy dynamic if they open up their hearts
and are like, oh my gosh, I'm so sad that
you felt that whole way. I can understand that I
was angry and I did need to go out and
have some space for myself, and let's take some time
to talk it through. Maybe we can come back to
(23:26):
this in an hour. You know, just something that is
compassionate response, empathetic, then that is giving you a signal
that there may be healthy dynamics underlying this relationship and
you may be able to really work with that.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Do you still use the natural remedies and herbs and
stuff when you're doing Oh yeah, here, but that's a
little bit about that and what and recommend some things
for people or what's good for us.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Oh gosh. Absolutely. Nettles is one of my top allies
for women's health in particular, and that is the stinging
nettle that will sting if you're like, you know, sometimes
you're out in the field and you're like, ah, it's
(24:20):
got little stinging hairs. It's got formic acid under each
hair that lips out a little sack. That's the stuff
that's in the ant stains, but when you dry the
nettles or you can cook it and make it a soup,
the sting is neutralized. And it's actually one of the
most potent sources of chlorophyll in the plant world, which
(24:44):
is very building for the blood and one of the
best allies for women's health for supporting the hormonal system
and the adrenals reduces allergies. Drink that's the immune system.
So you can use dried nettles, which you can buy
from any bulk or stores or sources vertica dioika is
(25:08):
the Latin name, and make an infusion where you put
a large amount, so you'll get more benefit by making
a infusion than just a tea with a little tea bag.
So in an infusion, I would use a cup of
dried or in a court jar, cover it with boiling water,
let it sit for four hours, and then strain out
(25:31):
the plant material. And you can keep that metal infusion
in the fridge for several days. Like food, it'll smell
sour when it spoils a few days later, and in
the meantime you just either heat it up or drink
it cold if it's in the summer.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
I love those. I think that we all need some
of those natural remedies, like things to make us sleep,
things to make us calm.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah. Absolutely. Oats straw is another one that actually really
helps with the nerves and with sleep. And you can
prepare oatstraw as an infusion using the same process. And
it's actually the straw from the oat plant that the
cereal grain oats comes from. So it's a tan color,
(26:23):
light tan color. Avena Sativa is the botanical name. And yeah,
so with the oat straw, you would do the same
thing where you put a cup of dry darb into
a court jar and let it steep overnight. You can
mix them. I like to do them as it's called simples,
where you're doing one orb at a time, because that'll
(26:44):
support your learning about the herbs, so you get to
know how your body feels with each of them and
how you sleep. And you actually might want to drink
her nettles earlier in the day, for example, because it's
got a mild diuretic. So I don't like to wake
up to pee in the night if I can help it,
(27:04):
so I'll just drink nettles usually early in the day.
Whereas oatstra is actually one that's really supportive for sleep
and yeah, call me the Nurves.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I love that. So so you're on your journey to
happily ever after you've been there. And what you're teaching
all of us is basically to know our truth and
we hold it close to us. It heals us too.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yes, yeah, knowing your truth, knowing your yourself. For example,
at the bottom of the needs, well, we have the
need for rest and that lines up in the cycles
of nature with the winter solstice season or the winter season,
(27:57):
not just the single day of winter solice this but
the whole season surrounding about six weeks on either side.
And when we honor our needs for rest, I mean
that piece alone is where a lot of women in
my programs finally need to start because it is part
(28:21):
of again our cultural conditioning of you're never doing enough
and you have to be perfect to win love, and
you just keep doing more and more and more, and
that exhaustion is so common these days. So really honoring
our needs for rest and it's helpful for women to recognize, like, well,
(28:43):
that's part of the natural cycles that you know, I'm
just part of nature and here we are, like when
we look around in that midwinter season. Yeah, the leaves
have fallen the roots of the tree. Energy is all
being sent down into the ground into the the roots
(29:03):
of the plants and the trees and the animals are hibernating.
And likewise with the the cycle of the moon, the
dark moon or often called the new moon, but in
this wise woman perspective, we also like to honor the
actual dark of the dark of the moon also lines
(29:24):
up with that inward time. So if you imagine in
ancient times when we didn't have electric lights and it
was the dark of the moon, like people would get
more sleep and do more dreaming and get those needs
for rest and replenishment met. And of course as women
in the menstrual cycle, that also lines up with the
(29:47):
dark moon when we're in the time around our period
where we're wanting to you know, came up. Yeah, that's
a very natural part of our physical cycles as well.
I'm actually past menopause and I find that my connection
with the moon is even stronger now where that dark
(30:10):
of the moon pulls me because I don't have that
hormonal cycle going through my body in that same way
that I did.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Korin has so much to learn from you. Thank you
for sharing this this time with me and with us
and teaching us all this a visionary teacher of women's
wisdom and holistic healing. I'll have all of your social
up there when this podcast airs. Thank you so much
for sharing all of that. Is there any last minute
thoughts you want to share with us?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Uh? If anybody wants to grab a copy of The
Wise Woman Needs will, you're welcome to do so. And
that's at Karinawood dot com forward slash needs and you
can grab a free copy and see the visual yourself.
And yeah, I just want to thank you you, Wendy,
(31:01):
for the space that you're holding during this really tender
time that so many of your listeners are going through
and just how important it is. And I've really seen
that and heard that more and more in recent years,
that there is there is a lot of splitting up,
(31:24):
there's a lot of going in, and since I work
particularly with women, that's where I mostly see it as
women really searching for themselves. And I love that you're
providing these resources and support for the journey. So thank
you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
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zero zero
Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm
talking all about the life you can live after divorce.
You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how
they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice
from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little
about me. I'm a former TV producer and mom of two.
I got divorced in two thousand and eight when there
were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to.
(00:22):
So I'm paying it forward and have created a platform
to help men and women learn that there absolutely is
a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with
me on this journey and paint your brand new blank
canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought
to in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm Guidance
that Moves lives forward. Welcome to another episode of Divorce
(00:43):
Doesn't Suck. I'm your host, Wendy Sloan and my guest
today went through a divorce almost twenty years ago and
today is happily ever after. And for over thirty years,
she has supported thousands of women on their journey of
healing and wholeness, including founding and running the largest herbal
conference in the United States, creating unique earth based women's
(01:03):
center tools for inner growth and healing. That sounds so lovely.
I can't wait to dive into this. So I'm excited
to introduce her and can't wait to learn so much more.
Welcome to my show, Corina would.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Thank you, Wendy. I'm so glad to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I am fascinated by you and I there is just
so much to talk about and to dive into. And
according to the godmother of herbalism, Rosemary Gladstar, you have
created a holistic approach to healing from the inside out
that leads us home to the sacred center of self.
And I love that sacred center of self. So let's
(01:44):
before we get into everything and dive deep into your
background and holistic healing, which I'm a big fan of.
Can we start with your personal story?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yes, of course. Yeah. So I was showing up in
adult world relationships in ways that were not healthy for me,
and I know this is a story that's familiar to
many of your listeners and rooted in difficult childhood experiences.
(02:14):
My brain had normalized, toxic and painful relationships. And so
what I can see in hindsight now is that I
was drawn to people who were not meeting my needs
for safety or respect and actually holding it at arm's length.
(02:40):
Those who did show up in a place of safety
and respect and valuing for me. And so this stress
of that all made me very sick, and I'm glad
to be alive today. And what got me out was
(03:03):
a process of really rewiring my brain two needs based consciousness,
so orienting toward even like these very basic needs that
I just touched on, safety, respect and valuing. These are
(03:25):
all innate human needs. And it's amazing how difficult it
can be when we have internalized beliefs like I'm not
worthy of love or I'll always be abandoned, as I had,
how difficult it can be to actually see those needs
(03:48):
as valid and normal and natural. And as I was
in that process of recognizing, like wow, like my little
girl inside is like freaking out, and oh, maybe that's
(04:09):
not something that I should be squashing down just because
my partner's criticizing me for that. Maybe it's actually something
that I need to listen to, Like that young part
inside that's like, WHOA, this isn't safe, We're not being respected.
And so the more I was able to turn my
attention to yeah, those younger parts and in particular all
(04:35):
parts of me, all ages, because we as adults are
very much still needing this safety and respect and valuing, love, clarity.
Those are all groups of basic human needs that we're
often really taught to disconnect from, right and so over time,
(05:03):
as I was in single years and took some years
of celibacy and just reconnecting with myself and as you
I'm I'm sure familiar with and encourage your listeners really
developing that relationship with loving myself, loving yourself, then I
(05:24):
was able to enter re enter a healthy relationship which
would not have even like the person that I fell
in love with wouldn't even have crossed my radar, like
because she was showing up in respect and valuing for
me and in safety like that wouldn't have been exciting
(05:47):
earlier in my adult life. It wouldn't have been attractive
and interesting. But I was able to shift towards what
is healthy for me.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
And so did you get to that, Corina? How did
you get to that where you were able to do that?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, so a lot of it was through this process
of paying attention to my needs, and it became over
time attractive that she was showing up in a place
of really having a lot of clarity in the communication.
So clarity is another of these innate human needs. And
(06:24):
I was used to relationships that were very you know,
confusing and where there was a lot of drama and
long discussions and you know, coll involuted logic and finally
by recognizing no, I need clarity, like that's not healthy
(06:48):
for me. I'll actually tell you there was one there
was a moment that I remember where in my process,
in my single time in between the unhealthy phase on
the healthy base, I was doing like a meditation. I
did a lot of journaling around this, and I put
(07:09):
my arm around my younger self and I was like,
you know, we had met somebody that kind of reminded
me of those dynamics that I've found attractive before. And
I was like, yeah, no, we are not going there, Like,
I know this has been very attractive in the past,
(07:30):
and I know that it can be really juicy, and
for our health and safety, I'm the adult here, I'm
making the executive decision, and we are moving in this
direction of health and safety and clarity. So today, happily,
ever after, Today, happily, ever after, we're building our home together.
(07:53):
We've been together for eight years now, and yeah, lifetime
committed partnership and with just a night and day difference
of what it is like to know that I am
loved and to show up in mutual respect and valuing
for one another.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I love that. I love that for you, and I
wish that for everybody else. I peeped down into your
holistic healing background and how it all began for you.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah. Thanks, So I in my twenties early twenties started
studying herbalism. I guess I started before that as a
kid because I was always drawn to nature, you know,
like climbing the big beach tree in front of my
house and making flower crowns with the dandelions, and so
(08:46):
when things were hard in childhood, I always turned to
nature as a place of solace, and likewise an adulthood.
I entered adulthood knowing I had a lot of healing
to do and it was natural to turn to the earth.
So herbal medicine became my first love focus in the
(09:07):
holistic healing spectrum, and over the decades of working primarily
with women is became my focus. As I would teachable
classes and I would have like twenty women and one
man show up, and I realized on the nights that
(09:30):
the fella didn't come that then the women would ask
deeper and deeper questions about like rest, health or menopause
or other issues that were going on that they were
inhibited to talk about with the men in the room.
So I took it as a signal to like that
I had more to offer when it was groups of
(09:51):
only women. So I focused on herbs for women. I
started an rbal medicine company, Red Moon Herbs, ran that
for twenty years, which I've since passed the baton on
Genie Dunn in Asheville, North Carolina. And I also, as
you said, started the Southeast Wise Women Urbal Conference. Ran
(10:14):
that for fifteen years until twenty nineteen, and it was
the largest urbal conference in the country. It was all women,
over a thousand women each fall annually. And then overlapping
with all of that, I've been teaching for over thirty
years and through my own personal journey and through the
(10:37):
work with women in all these different contexts, and understanding
the issues that they were facing, and I was facing
on deeper emotional levels that informed the stress and in
many cases, the illnesses that we were trying to tweat Physically,
I turned my attention to the heart and soul levels
(11:01):
of healing, applying Nature's lens to that inner growth and healing.
And so the wise woman needs will is now central
to my teaching, and it's a visual wheel that I've
developed which overlays the cycles of nature with our innate
(11:25):
human needs.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Amazing. Why do you think it's so hard for women
to pay attention to their needs?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah, so we are socialized to put the needs of
others before our own, and then we end up feeling
depleted or exhausted or burned out. I mean when we
(11:56):
have strong emotions, like the rough emotions like sadness and anger,
grief and fear, those signal to us that we have
underlying unmet needs. Like that's just a principle of psychology
(12:17):
and nonviolent communication that when we're having these difficult feelings,
that is signaling underlying on met needs. And I think
it's really telling that. You know, here, I've often been told, oh,
(12:38):
you're too emotional, you know, there's a reason that women
that we're having all these emotions. And it's not just
true for women, for men as well. It's signaling the
underlying on met needs. And so especially as women, when
we've been told, oh, it's selfish to focus on your
(13:00):
own needs, you shouldn't do that, because that's that's being
selfish and bond that's part of the cultural programming that
keeps us focused on nurturing other people. And so this
process of reclaiming our needs is really important for women
(13:26):
to reclaim our lives.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And how does that how does that tuning into your
needs help set boundaries and relationship?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, so okay, to just take a pause.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I'm just absolutely well, we'll I'll take a We're going
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and save fifty dollars on your device. We're back with
Corina Woods. So I was asking you a question. You
needed to take a break and a pause, and I
wonder about that. Why was that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Just that place of breath Like this is so excited.
I'm so eager and so excited to share this with you.
I'm actually just so excited to share this with this audience,
pifically about women who are uh and I know you
(16:06):
have men as well, in the process of considering divorce,
in the throes of divorce or on the other side,
because I've seen that a lot in my students, and
it's not a it's not something that I've intentionally sought out.
So this is really fun for me to speak from
(16:27):
this place like I have. I hear from students who
are posting the needs wheel on their fridge and they
are like wow, like I can, like it's natural for
me to have all these needs and it's helping them
find their way out of a decade long unsatisfying marriage
(16:49):
or another. I think of another who carried the needs
will with her from hotel room to a hotel room
as she was moving to another state, leaving a narcissistic,
abusive husband. And then others who are asking more of
their husbands, and their husbands are stepping up, like Ailah,
(17:10):
who says she at last finally feels heard and understood
because she has this language of the needs for the
first time in her life. So anyway, oh, it's all
very closest to my heart.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, I guess setting boundaries and letting people know that
you you know, because they I think as women, you know,
we're caretakers and we're givers and that's all we do.
And we're the last ones to eat where, the last
ones to sit down. We're the last ones to get
it right. That's how we are. So own needs is
healthy for everybody around us exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
And so in terms of setting boundaries. Thank you for
asking about that. It's when we're aware of our own needs,
then you can ask for what you want. You can
also be willing to hear no for an answer, knowing
that there's multiple strategies to meet those needs. So when
(18:12):
I say that, for example, I can my friends my
own unhealthy strategy in a difficult relationship trying to meet
my needs for love and connection, which was tragically unmeeting
needs for safety and respect. And so that is the
(18:32):
ultimate boundary and decision is, oh okay, if you're not
willing to meet my needs for safety and respect, then
I may choose to meet it in a different way
by leaving the relationship or by choosing a healthier relationship
for me. There are many smaller boundaries that you can
(18:55):
make as well, where you're just saying like, oh, okay,
you wanna go out for a walk every morning, Well,
I really need to focus on work stuff. If you're
going to be doing that, then I'm not going to
be available to eat lunch with you or you know,
(19:18):
those kind of negotiations. And so the connection with your
needs really helps to differentiate yourself from other people. To
know where you end and they begin.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
It's help to be respectful of both of your needs.
I want to dive a.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Little bit back into the wise Woman Needs weal and
how it can help women who are considering going through
a divorce, or are going through a divorce, or who
have gone through a divorce.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, so as you're in the process of considering divorce,
what I've heard from a number of my students is that,
as it was for me, this awareness of your needs
is a very powerful way to evaluate and assess the
(20:17):
health of the relationship. Because healthy relationships are mutually growth enhancing.
That's a term from Jeene Baker Miller Institute. And you
feel like a sense of energy and zest when you're
with a person. When you leave them, you're looking forward
to time together as opposed to an unhealthy relationship where
(20:40):
you feel drained, you feel hurt. And then that's reflecting
that those unmet needs. And so when you're having persistent
I mean, of course we all have, you know, tired
times or sad times, but when you're having really persistent
exhaust and fatigue, range, fear, grief, going to okay, what
(21:09):
are the needs that are underlying that? Like, Wow, when
I leave my time with this person, I'm feeling so down. Gosh,
my needs for wow, valuing and empowerment and dignity really
aren't being met. That allows you to also assess, not
(21:33):
just by yourself, although that's a very important part of
the process, if you are with this person and you're
assessing the like, can we make it work? Like what
if I communicate in a way that is more based
in my that's less blaming and more needs based, would
it be possible that we could make it work? You
(21:56):
can try that out, so you can say, like, wow,
when I when you close the door when you were
leaving quickly, you know you close the door quick I
felt hurt around my needs for communication, valuing, and just
(22:19):
see how that lands, because that is not saying when
you walked out pissed off at me, I thought you
were a jerk, because that kind of thing, Like it's
easy for people to just you know, spiral down, But
if you're really speaking from your own heartful, vulnerable way,
(22:41):
which is wow, my needs for communication or valuing or
love and connection weren't met in that moment, in this
really non judgmental way. Just notice, like sometimes people will
attack you. That keeps happening is probably not a sign
(23:04):
of a healthy dynamic if they open up their hearts
and are like, oh my gosh, I'm so sad that
you felt that whole way. I can understand that I
was angry and I did need to go out and
have some space for myself, and let's take some time
to talk it through. Maybe we can come back to
(23:26):
this in an hour. You know, just something that is
compassionate response, empathetic, then that is giving you a signal
that there may be healthy dynamics underlying this relationship and
you may be able to really work with that.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Do you still use the natural remedies and herbs and
stuff when you're doing Oh yeah, here, but that's a
little bit about that and what and recommend some things
for people or what's good for us.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Oh gosh. Absolutely. Nettles is one of my top allies
for women's health in particular, and that is the stinging
nettle that will sting if you're like, you know, sometimes
you're out in the field and you're like, ah, it's
(24:20):
got little stinging hairs. It's got formic acid under each
hair that lips out a little sack. That's the stuff
that's in the ant stains, but when you dry the
nettles or you can cook it and make it a soup,
the sting is neutralized. And it's actually one of the
most potent sources of chlorophyll in the plant world, which
(24:44):
is very building for the blood and one of the
best allies for women's health for supporting the hormonal system
and the adrenals reduces allergies. Drink that's the immune system.
So you can use dried nettles, which you can buy
from any bulk or stores or sources vertica dioika is
(25:08):
the Latin name, and make an infusion where you put
a large amount, so you'll get more benefit by making
a infusion than just a tea with a little tea bag.
So in an infusion, I would use a cup of
dried or in a court jar, cover it with boiling water,
let it sit for four hours, and then strain out
(25:31):
the plant material. And you can keep that metal infusion
in the fridge for several days. Like food, it'll smell
sour when it spoils a few days later, and in
the meantime you just either heat it up or drink
it cold if it's in the summer.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
I love those. I think that we all need some
of those natural remedies, like things to make us sleep,
things to make us calm.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah. Absolutely. Oats straw is another one that actually really
helps with the nerves and with sleep. And you can
prepare oatstraw as an infusion using the same process. And
it's actually the straw from the oat plant that the
cereal grain oats comes from. So it's a tan color,
(26:23):
light tan color. Avena Sativa is the botanical name. And yeah,
so with the oat straw, you would do the same
thing where you put a cup of dry darb into
a court jar and let it steep overnight. You can
mix them. I like to do them as it's called simples,
where you're doing one orb at a time, because that'll
(26:44):
support your learning about the herbs, so you get to
know how your body feels with each of them and
how you sleep. And you actually might want to drink
her nettles earlier in the day, for example, because it's
got a mild diuretic. So I don't like to wake
up to pee in the night if I can help it,
(27:04):
so I'll just drink nettles usually early in the day.
Whereas oatstra is actually one that's really supportive for sleep
and yeah, call me the Nurves.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I love that. So so you're on your journey to
happily ever after you've been there. And what you're teaching
all of us is basically to know our truth and
we hold it close to us. It heals us too.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yes, yeah, knowing your truth, knowing your yourself. For example,
at the bottom of the needs, well, we have the
need for rest and that lines up in the cycles
of nature with the winter solstice season or the winter season,
(27:57):
not just the single day of winter solice this but
the whole season surrounding about six weeks on either side.
And when we honor our needs for rest, I mean
that piece alone is where a lot of women in
my programs finally need to start because it is part
(28:21):
of again our cultural conditioning of you're never doing enough
and you have to be perfect to win love, and
you just keep doing more and more and more, and
that exhaustion is so common these days. So really honoring
our needs for rest and it's helpful for women to recognize, like, well,
(28:43):
that's part of the natural cycles that you know, I'm
just part of nature and here we are, like when
we look around in that midwinter season. Yeah, the leaves
have fallen the roots of the tree. Energy is all
being sent down into the ground into the the roots
(29:03):
of the plants and the trees and the animals are hibernating.
And likewise with the the cycle of the moon, the
dark moon or often called the new moon, but in
this wise woman perspective, we also like to honor the
actual dark of the dark of the moon also lines
(29:24):
up with that inward time. So if you imagine in
ancient times when we didn't have electric lights and it
was the dark of the moon, like people would get
more sleep and do more dreaming and get those needs
for rest and replenishment met. And of course as women
in the menstrual cycle, that also lines up with the
(29:47):
dark moon when we're in the time around our period
where we're wanting to you know, came up. Yeah, that's
a very natural part of our physical cycles as well.
I'm actually past menopause and I find that my connection
with the moon is even stronger now where that dark
(30:10):
of the moon pulls me because I don't have that
hormonal cycle going through my body in that same way
that I did.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Korin has so much to learn from you. Thank you
for sharing this this time with me and with us
and teaching us all this a visionary teacher of women's
wisdom and holistic healing. I'll have all of your social
up there when this podcast airs. Thank you so much
for sharing all of that. Is there any last minute
thoughts you want to share with us?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Uh? If anybody wants to grab a copy of The
Wise Woman Needs will, you're welcome to do so. And
that's at Karinawood dot com forward slash needs and you
can grab a free copy and see the visual yourself.
And yeah, I just want to thank you you, Wendy,
(31:01):
for the space that you're holding during this really tender
time that so many of your listeners are going through
and just how important it is. And I've really seen
that and heard that more and more in recent years,
that there is there is a lot of splitting up,
(31:24):
there's a lot of going in, and since I work
particularly with women, that's where I mostly see it as
women really searching for themselves. And I love that you're
providing these resources and support for the journey. So thank
you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Thank you so much. That means the world. Thank you
so much. Nito Kuda divorce and family laws attorneys have
guided Connecticut and New York families through complex divorce actions,
contested child custody, and alimony disputes for over thirty years.
They're Connecticut and New York attorneys have extensive experience in
family matters involving substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, and
(32:06):
many other X factors that can complicate a divorce. Their
attorneys adeptly manage privacy and reputation concerns inherit to public
divorce proceedings and the related exposure for their ultra high
net worth clients. Find your new path forward, define your
post divorce family, and secure an enforceable agreement to protect
your future with Needlecuda Act now put the strength of
(32:30):
their team behind you. Visit them at Needlecuda dot com
or call two three, five, five seven nine to five
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