90 Day Fiancé UK S8 “Taking a Punt on Love”

Wherein In The Gambia, Zena furiously confronts Ebrima about his scantily-clad online lady friends. Sandra arrives in Cambridge, ready to take a punt on love, but all Phin can think about is her ex. Despite having only just met, Arrah considers Andy's proposal.


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
We do do do Do Do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do Do.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Do Do Do Do Sweet do do do do Do
Do do doo. Sweetee Hey everyone, I'm Wah and I'm Shay,
and welcome to docu sweeties. Normally I would say that
we are too long time friends to discuss the ribbing
and sometimes trashy world of reality TV and docu series.
But there are on lens which can sometimes be sleepy,

(00:27):
which can sometimes be wide awake, but sometimes you need
a little sparkling beverage. But at the end of the day,
hopefully mildly sweet. However, I will say all that, but
I with Shae, and you guys know that Shay does
ninety Day Fiance UK with me.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Say hi, Shae, Hey, what's up everybody? Puppy? What is
that Tuesday? Wednesday is the longest week of my life?

Speaker 2 (00:48):
No Tuesday? Yeah, all right, you guys. So we're talking
Ninety Day Fiance UK Season four, Episode eight, Taking a
punt on Love. I did not know that. I guess.
First of all, where in the United States can one
rent a boat and use a long stick to push it?
I thought that that was called like a gondolin or something.

(01:09):
I thought that was called else.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
That is absolutely my understanding of it. It is very
like Venice, Italy type of activity. I know in places
like Central Park they you can rent one of those boats,
but there's definitely not one where you row it yourself.
It's more of the boats.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Okay, okay, which.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Makes more sense because and I also my understanding of
what punting is is a football term, not a boat term.
I learned a lots this episode. I can't even lie.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
But punting is different because like the boat, first of all,
we call it soccer versus we call it football. It's
a different game than soccer, so it wouldn't be the same.
But like, this is interesting. I was like, wow, Finn
teaches me a lot of British terminology. He really does.
But anyways, let's jump right in and let's start. Let's
talk with Andy and Aura. Let's talk about Andy and Ara.

(02:00):
So this is hot off the presses, and he's just
asked the mother for her handed marriage and somehow he
has already set up a situation in the back of
a car.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
That caught me by surprise. You know, the last episode
left us on a cliffhanger. We were very much like,
how is she going to react because she did mention
that it was too soon when it was her sister
or her mom had brought it up. So I was like, oh,
homegirl's going to say a big fat noe. He's going
to disappoint our boy and I hate to see it.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Or she's gonna say, like what, we barely know each other.
That's crazy, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Like right, and it was none of that. Yeah, he's
incredibly joyous about this.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
That and she also says he said that it was
the longest couple seconds of his life, where it took
her forever to respond whether or not she would do so.
But I'm like, who helped him set this up? Yo?

Speaker 1 (02:51):
You don't think it was a solo project? No, neither girl.
Who That's a great question. The people want to know
whose car is that? Right?

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Then?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (03:01):
How did he get those decorations? Who googled? Because he
was with her the whole time. So I think the
sister must have been in on it or something. Somebody
in his family was in on it and paid for it.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
You could have liked the balloon arrangement Party City Philippines people. Maybe,
I don't know. I would think that the paid for
the balloons and the service, the installation fee or something
city in Philippines.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
I'm google that right now, part of City, Philippines. But
it's in English too, so I mean, I don't know,
like it could. I mean, I'm assuming most Filipino people
speak well, maybe they don't know, because we've been there
several times and many folks don't speak English. So I
don't know how this happened. I think it's Gala, yeah,

(03:48):
and then there's then there's a mirror of other indigenous languages,
but like, yeah, when we've gone there, it's usually I
don't know, any body from the United States has gone
with somebody who's actually from Manila. I feel like they've
all been like from Cibou or like some other small
town outside of the major cities, and so their English

(04:10):
is not the best. But again we've we've already discovered
that R and her peeps English is you know, yeah
live yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
So she's very happy about this, and he has to
go back to the UK immediately. And it's funny because
I feel like they never really I never really understood
how small he was until this episode. I feel like
they did a shot of him like backed up with her,
and I was like, oh, he's tiny.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
And it's also because his personality and his presence is
so forward that you don't recognize his I didn't recognize
his stature. I like, forget that he's a little person.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
You know, when he when he got down on one knee,
that obviously he looked even smaller when he did that,
and I think his chair was right next to him,
and just the the contrast of size of him on
one knee next to the chair. For me, I made
the same observation where I was like, oh, he's definitely
a lot more compact, is that fair to say than

(05:12):
I envisioned him and their confessionals, And they showed him
in the confessionals, so that kind of took me back
as well.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yes, because he only said he had brittle bones. But
I was looking at him and I was like, oh,
I think maybe you're a little person too, But I
don't know. I don't know. But that's also what I
was getting. So he has to go back to the
UK and she puts him in a little tiktook or
whatever those things are called, and she's like, I miss you.
He's just taking off, and I was like okay, cute

(05:42):
for them. So we're back in the UK and they
don't give us any timelines like normally they kind of
give us timelines in this And I think that what
makes us a lot different from the US is that
the US, it's never it's never four months in between.
It sometimes it is, but for the most part they
try to get you to film everything within like five
months or whatever. That oh wow, three the three months, right.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Because we also have no sense of how long he
was in the Philippines so much less how long that
how long from when he went to the UK, like
what's the time frame? They haven't seen each other that
he's now back home and again apparently updating his circle
with his news.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yes, like did he get back a month ago? And
then it hasn't told anybody did he get back a
week ago?

Speaker 1 (06:27):
And hasn't to be helpful. I feel if they gave
a little bit of that abs, I'm actually surprised that
they don't.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, they didn't give any because everyone's so shocked, and
I mean, of course they didn't see the footage. They
don't know, but and he's he's being secretive to them
and open with us, so they have no idea. But
he meets with his friend Sarah and they're at the
pub and I've every time their show shots of them
in the pub, I want to be in a pub.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Well it always looks like they're having a time. And look,
the glasses are full, everyone's rosy cheeked, like it just
seems like everyone's feeling a buzz.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, it's like.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
And it's and it's like all British, so it's all
like wood. Every pub is wood. There's they don't have
the modern it's all it is all wood. It makes
me want to just like walk down to I don't know,
O'Donovan's or like whatever.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeahs yes, And I know the moment I step in
there and I hear some loud American yelling, I'm.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Gonna be like, what it's not the same, Yeah, out
of here. This Guinness sucks. But anyway, so they go
there and sit down and Sarah is like, I'm, you know,
waiting to hear what what's going on. I know a
little bit about this girl who's been dating, but not
very much. And so he sits down and he's like,
you know, he does everything with a smile because he

(07:51):
knows people are going to have a like adverse reaction.
So he's like, so, you know, I was selling a
stat in this girl. And she's like, yeah, you've been
gone for a while and see and he's like yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
And she made a comment saying you've you've been quiet,
so she knows something's afoot.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yes she does. And it's he's like, yeah, I went there.
And she's like, you went to the Philippines and he's
like yep, and I'm engaged and she's like I beg
your pardon, yeah, I beg your.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Maybe people underestimate him because she was. It surprised her
sufficiently that he went to the Philippines like that alone
would have stunned her. Yeah, the engagement on top of that,
she was floored, you know. So I was like, wow,
people have people don't have many expectations of you, my boy.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Yeah, even though even though from what you tell us,
you'd be out here outside outdoors. Yeah. So it's like
it's like okay. So he tells her that you know this,
and she's just like shocked and she's like are you
sure and he's like yeah, I'm sure. And you know,
there's something she could really do about it. She's not
going to go off of him. And that's the one

(09:04):
thing I do like is that so far none of
the people in his life has like gone off on
him and or told him something mildly racist.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
I think it's the British way to either eat your feelings,
hide your feelings, not be direct and just. But the
energy is awkward. You can tell that there's something an
elephant in the room.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Well, Finn's mother didn't hold back, even though she was
saying it calmly, but she basically was like, are you
sure she likes you for the right reasons? It doesn't
want to come to the UK. And then Zena's mother
was like, he's ugly as shit, Like you know what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
So it's like.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
You just never know who you're gonna know.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
You're right, You're actually that that's a really good point.
I have forgotten that that's where all of their people
are from. Yeah, you're right. I guess maybe his less
overt like the people in his corner are just like okay,
m Like, it's just the awkward, like eerie quietness that

(10:03):
makes him uncomfortable. I suspect that maybe he grew up
a lot around people tiptoeing around him because of his
condition and wanting to be careful and gentle and not
hurt his feelings and maybe a little too soft around
the edges, and maybe that's kind of carried with him
his whole life. Yeah, people are like, yeah, okay, like
if you like it, I love it, but I hate it,
you know, like that That's.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Kind of what I was thinking too. Or I feel like,
even though it's shocking, they respect him. There's a respect
that he has that some of these other cats don't
have with their peoples. Like they're like, well, you know what,
it's crazy, but if Andy's doing it, then it's going
to be okay.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
That's interesting.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, there's a certain amount of respect. So any who,
he tells her that he's going to get married in
the Philippines because there's no divorce.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
That shocked me. I don't know about you. I was
very much like when they said in the Philippines and
the Vatican, divorce is illegal, I was like, say, what now,
So why do you want to get married there? That
to me, I was like you hustling backwards, Like what
you really need to do is get married in the UK.
And I think we're going to see a little bit
of that next episode where they're having some of those

(11:12):
conversations about where they're going to live and stuff. But
that really caught me off guard. And I think even
I mean, I think Andy communicates this to Sarah and
Sarah's like, this is fucking crazy, Like she considers it crazy.
And at that point he's like, are you on board?
And if I'm her, I'm like, like, what do you think?

Speaker 2 (11:30):
What the fuck? No?

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Like just no, I yeah, that's that's a big deal.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
That's a huge deal. It made me think like like
they are extremist Catholics, Like it's an extremist, Like that's
an extreme because because yeah, the Vatican, that makes sense,
but like.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
But and even that's just a city and it's very small.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, so it's like, Okay, that makes sense because it's
not in a lot of people, like people would have
to then travel to the Vatican to get married there
in order for their their their thing or whatever. But
it's like and but there's there's all of ideally surrounding
the Vat.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
That can get and you could do what you want there.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, and so it's just like it's like and Catholicism,
I would come from the Middle East and you can
get it and if he if he, if what he's
saying is correct, and that means even countries in the
Middle East you can't get you can get a divorce.
So it's like all of that, I'll be taking it
to another level in my mind and when it comes
to that, and also on the opposite end, that would

(12:31):
make me never want to get married in the philip
if I were a Filipino person, I would never want
to get married there because I'd be like, oh, I'm
stuck with this person for the rest of my life.
Like I if I did want to get out of
this relationship, if we both decided we didn't want to
do it, we would have to just cheat on each other.
We would have to just like move on with our
lives without actually unentwining. And I wonder if annulment. I
wonder if everybody just gets an annulment. Like so there's

(12:53):
questions I have because I don't necessarily know that he's correct,
but maybe he is correct.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Maybe it's also why her family was insistent that they
take it slow and that they be truly, truly, truly
locked into this decision because it's a big one considering
where they live, and maybe that's their assumption, considering that
they maybe they assume that that's where they would get
married and also assume that's where they would live. But
that would make sense to me if the family is
like tread lightly here, because when we get married, we
mean it. Yeah, that's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah it's yeah, it is. And I also think that
they would have to get married to the Philippines because
her family can't necessarily travel to the UK. And so,
speaking of that, after the shock of telling Sarah, he
now has to ask his parents if they will come
to the wedding. So when we get him face haiming
his dad, he's already told his dad, which I love.

(13:40):
I hate it when like the person springs it on
the parents, like because sometimes they'll just like do it
with the cameras rolling, and I can just never do
that to my family. I feel like that is the
height of disrespect to like wait to tell a big
secret to your family and then watch them try not
to have a ridiculous human reaction. They have human reaction
on on TV. Yeah, But so he tells his dad.

(14:03):
His dad's like, well, we've set the date and it's
May twenty fourth, and so he's like, let me check,
and they check, and he's like, I've got a hospital
appointment now.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
So and I can't move it. This scene made me uncomfy.
It made me uncomfy because to me, I'm like, you
see your boys reaching out for support, like we know
what this is. And I, again, I'm not a parent,
but I'm inclined to think that as parents, or maybe
as good parents, I hope that people can sense when

(14:36):
their child needs a little extra in a moment, whether
it's support, love, money, whatever the case may be, like
you know a little bit of that. And maybe because
they were over the phone, maybe in person, the dad
would have sensed this more. I'm inclined to think that's
not the case, but you can tell that Andy was
just yearning for a little bit more support here and

(14:57):
the dad is just like, like, I feel that the
dad can up drilling in the point. Oh the twenty
fourth have an appointment? Yeah, and I can't move it,
like because I already know you canna ask. I can't
move this shit, you know. And he's like, oh and mom,
and he's like, you know, she can't go by herself.
Like it was just knockdown, knockdown, knockdown, and I felt badly.

(15:17):
It made me uncomfortable, like wanted to be like oh
and then at the end way and he was like, yeah,
it's quite shit. Really, I'm like, yeah, yes, it's shit. Sorry.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
I have several schools of thought because even if let's
just say I throw out the fact that they are
shitty parents who like don't understand how important this kind
of milestone is to their child, and that people will
put their own comfort abother child one. I want to
go maybe he maybe he has cancer and one of
these treatments, one of these appointments is to check up

(15:47):
on that. And in the UK they do have universal
health care, and so a lot of times when you
set an appointment, you cannot change it. Hard to get
appointments in it's.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
Like months months, months, donline.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
And so maybe that's just like I cannot for my
own health do this. You're you not only are you
asking me to travel thirty hours, You're trying asking me
to travel thirty hours when I have a condition that
I need to see the doctor on this day and
there's no way to change it.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
I agree with that. I just I feel though that
even even if that were true, I think the desire
that Andy just wanted a little bit more an emotional
feeling of like, hey, buddy, you know, we absolutely would
love to be there. Unfortunately, you know, the situation we've
got going on locked into these appointments because of what
you know, you know, just like a little bit more

(16:34):
of like, but I want you to know that I
that I know this is important to you.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Just in FaceTime, I'll be their own thing.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, yeah, just a little bit of something to supplement
the fact that everyone's you know, I don't know, like
I just I feel bad.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Then there is the mom who can't travel on her own,
and I think to my think to myself, I have
never been a damsel. I mean I was never allowed
to be somebody who would not who could not do
something on their own. Like I, traveling is jaunting, even
if you do it often. Every time I go to

(17:09):
the airport, I mean unless unless it's an airport I've
been to so many times that I just blindfold it
can walk from here to there, there is still a
moment like you know, have you seen those those videos
on TikTok and on Instagram where it's like, you know,
you walk up to your gate just to make sure
it's still there, and then you go buy your business.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
That's that's n I literally go and be like, yep,
Gate eleven, all right here see it.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
I've already made the trek to it. I know exactly
where it is. Now I can go back and fuck
around in this.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Airport, right.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
It's like that's still me and I travel a lot,
so it's like I can understand it being daunting, but
for you to just like not be able to do
something like what's the worst that's going to happen to
this lady if she goes traveling to Philippines on her own,
is she gonna get on the wrong plane?

Speaker 1 (17:53):
No, and not in this day and age. If you
need assistance, let's say, for example, you need a wheelchair,
they literally will get it to you at the very
set and they will wait to physically put you on
the plane.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
You have an escort. It's like the fact that like
people you know, your mom, that that to me is
like my my mom, Like just someone who like will
not move outside of their comfort zone won't, won't, can't.
The idea of putting themselves aside. Yeah, it's far fetched.
That person will never travel on their own. That person

(18:26):
just got their their passport to go to Mexico and
and only went because their husband and two of their
children went, Like could never do it, and it's just
like what what a what a?

Speaker 1 (18:36):
What a?

Speaker 2 (18:37):
What a life? To live?

Speaker 1 (18:38):
It must be I mean, I don't want to say
it must be nice.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
I think it must be nice. I would like to
be a damsel for it for at least a year,
like for one calendar year. I want to be somebody
who can't get their own gas. I want to be
somebody who can't go somewhere and and then not only
can I not do it, but there will be somebody
there to help me, Like somebody will step up and
be like, oh, I know you can't, I'll go. I'll

(19:01):
do it with you.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
I feel like it sounds good on paper and execution.
I feel like it would frustrate the shit out of
me because I can see myself already being like, you're
not doing it right, move like you're not going iast
enough for me, Like something would below mine, you know,
But you're right. I understand people who when that's all
they know, stepping outside of that is like night and day,

(19:24):
like they just can't even fathom it.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Can't even and then other people around them understand they
can't do it and accept that. Where that's a thing too,
is that nobody would accept it. If I'm like, I
can't do it, They're like, she could do it. I
don't even know why she's not trying to do it.
Like That's the thing I get, is like people won't
won't just come rescue me anyways. I want to be rescued.
That's the bottom of line. That's so now we turn it.
We turned this from Andy's issues with his parents to

(19:48):
me just wanting to be rescued. Okay, let's move on
to Ebrema and Xena. Oh lot, this was long for
them and it's the same conversation over and over again.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yep, it is. But I feel it's because Zena looks
for a number of unique ways to raise it again.
You know, this couple will haunt me till the end
of time because I don't understand them. But apparently I'm
in the dark. Apparently they're thriving, and I'm like, really,

(20:22):
this is thriving. This is success in the relationship. May
that love never find me, May it dodge me?

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, it's so crazy. It's like this is hot off
the presses of her dancing on the sand and him
having to come snatch her ass up because she's making
a fool of herself. And she's like, I was having
a nice time. The one thing I do love about
it is that she actually doesn't yell. She just like
makes a face and then says a series of things
that it's hilarious. She's like, I was having a nice time.

(20:52):
You know. I was drinking and I was dancing. I
was in my dress and you know. And he's like,
he's like, no, don't wear that dress, don't you know.
She's like, I, I quite like this dress. When I'm
in the UK, I wear it and I have a
good time with it. So what's the problem with this dress?
And I'm gonna wear it again? And I was like, girl,
tell us you're gonna be wearing your offa twice?

Speaker 1 (21:14):
No right, repeat defender over here.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
But he didn't the whole trifact that he didn't like.
He didn't like her drinking, he didn't like her dancing,
he didn't like the dress. He didn't like none of it.
He hates it.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
He hates it well, and he's like, come on, none,
And I'm like I'm like, where did you did you
learn your English from Jamaican because the way.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
He says many, yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
And everything makes me think he's trying to say month.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
And I'm like he's learned from watching movies and he
thinks it's like that it cool running watching yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
And so then finally she's like, she's like, well, you
were talking, and I just want you to know that
I have evidence of pornographic things on your old Facebook
and your social media. You're trying to give me rules
and regulations, and that there are women on your social
media who are prostitutes. And so she brings up this

(22:10):
photo of this one black lady wearing lingerie and she's like,
look at this poutographic and I'm like, you are dressed
with less clothes than She is, like, what are you
talking about?

Speaker 1 (22:20):
And he is unmoved, like I think she expected him
to be like, oh wait, no, no, it's not what
you think. He is even keel. He did not flinch nothing.
He's just like, when you're done talking, I'll save my piece.
Like so I think she thought it was this huge reveal,
like because she said she was keeping that in her
back pocket to like bring it up when she really
needed to drive a point home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
flocked to me.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
He truly did, because she's like, I don't know who
that is. I don't know why that is, and I
don't know where that is, So like, I don't know
what you're talking about. The point is that you are
behaving like a whore, That is what the point is.
You can say anything about me, but the set. I mean,
he's I feel like we there's another gentleman in the
other ninety day universe, and he's just like, I'm the man.
I can do what I want. He blatantly said that,

(23:01):
and so I'm like, Ibrama must feel the same way.
But at the same time, he's not going to argue
with her about it because as maybe maybe he is
following somebody who's in there, but that's not in real
life jumping around on the beach in front of people, right,
And you know, the expectation is that women own the
women are tasked with being more modest than men will
ever be tasked with, even though it's supposed to be

(23:22):
the same. But it's not and it's not going to
be you know, upheld. So he's really like, I feel
like that, I mean, just to be so strengthened by
your religion that everything that you do and want is correct,
and the other person of this, of another gender, is
absolutely wrong. Is it's got to be, you know, so
fortifying and freeing for him, But he can't even he

(23:45):
has no idea, he's no, he has no, no thoughts
about this. So anyways, they go their separate ways, and
she's like, I slept separately from Ibraman, and you know,
it's it's quite some law. It's I'm quite nervous to
see him. And so then he shows up with just
who he is and and some little purple roses.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
He said, I've got a surprise for you, and he
rips out a fist full of weeds that he picked
up on his way when he passed the local chemist
as they call it, the pharmacist. When he pulled that
out and held it like this, it felt like a

(24:27):
joke when you play with little kids, that you're like,
put your hand out, I have something in here. And
he pulled out those three little twigs. Girl, the way
I rolled my eyes, I was like, you have You
can't be that ass. But to her, you would have
thought he hung the moon himself. He hung the fucking

(24:47):
moon because the way she was like, oh that's so sweet,
Oh that's so nice, Oh that's so lovely, and I'm like,
oh my god, the bar is in hell because she's
so easily wooed, so easily wooed.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
The way that she tells it to Tilly, her granddaughter,
when she calls her, is like, he picked me some wildflowers,
as though he was like a mischaracterization of the truth,
like like he was just like in a meadow, like
picking a bouquet. It wasn't even a bouquet a bushel.
It was three measley petals that he gave her that

(25:21):
he just snatched from the front of that resort. Not
that flower is not indigenous to his bush town.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Those were, yes, those were garnishments that the bartender had
cut up to decorate the pinacladas, and he grabbed two
or three of them and said, wait right there, I
got some for you.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
So she forgives him within a quickness and says that
he's such a lovely man. And then when she's talking.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
To Tilly, she says, it's a class of culture and religions,
and Tilly feels like they are incompatible, and she's worried
about her and the mother, and then Zena's like, well,
this is what they do in them cultures.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
She says, this might be my last chance for love,
and I'm like, you're doing everything wrong, lady.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
I have thought about it, and I think this might
be my I'm like, what about all the British blokes,
Like she's never said why she doesn't fuck with the
British blokes, even though the British men will be quick
to be like, I don't like English women. They want
too much. She's never said anything negative about the British
clokes now.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
But I think maybe she's tapped that well dry. Maybe
she's been outside and she's just like been there, ran
through them like next caller, you know.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
So she says that she's gonna be looking out for
his bad behaviors and this is the you know, she's
going to continue to have a good time with him.
So their next scene is them in the marketplace.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
But the granddaughter does ask a really good question when
she said, is it religious or is he controlling? And
I said, now we're getting to the nitty gritty tilly,
come on, come on, you know, and and of course,
you know, it was just like to your point. Oh no,
I think it's just the culture that like just downplaying
how severe something like this can get if you're not equipped,

(27:13):
not prepared for the full scope of what a practicing
religious person, yes you look like, and the influence and
impact that can have on your life, especially if you
are not aligning with that same religion.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, and she doesn't. She's not taking it seriously.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Not taking it seriously. I'm quite worried for her.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
I think because you enough to carry you. I think
it's just because she is like, it's the imperial it's
the imperialism mindset where she's like, at the end of
the day, I will always have the money. Even if
we get married. He's not going to know he's not
going to have access to my ship.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
That's interesting. So he can get to the freedom to
not focus on that as much.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
That's yeah, Okay, he's not entering into a real relationship
with him, Like it's high risk, yes, And there's no
high risk for her. Maybe she'll lose a little bit
of money, but he's not going to get access to
her funds. He's not going to be able to command
take away her passport. He doesn't actually have any power
in this scenarios, which is why she's okay with this.

(28:13):
I actually wanted to show you something when we talk
about the marketplace haggling. Hold on, I have something.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Oh I wrote some comments on there about that. To me,
I didn't particularly like that, like at all.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Okay, So they go shopping in the marketplace and I
start to see something.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Stop, okay, wa fan that.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Okay, if I can make my background, my background not
blurry anymore, let me see if I can figure that
out right now at this moment so that you guys
can see it. But like, what's crazy about it is
that I haven't seen fans like these, uh hill this
summer until I started going around to Yeah, until we

(29:04):
went to the black market and then that other market
that I just I got at the other market I
went to real, Yes, it was that damn hot. And
I'm like to see her in the Gambia with the
exact same fans. I was like, oh, this ain't special,
right Damn.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
I thought you were gonna say, wow, we're connected, but no,
that went that one left you said this say not
And now I thought, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Isn't this so like it's leather, it's it's leather.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
I can't see the material.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
This right here, this is cloth and I'm thinking like.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
Those like it was made by hand.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, but it's still what it is is cloth right
here like this this materials is whatever. And I'm thinking,
I'm like, there's so many women, how many women in
what country? Just are pumping these fans out to where
they're in the Gambia and they're in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
You know what I mean, market saturated. Everybody's got one.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Come on the marketplace of Gamby of the Gambia and
the black market place in Minnesota, and that is where
those two things resided. And I'm like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
But I didn't like I didn't like her haggling. That
upset me a little bit.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Why That's what I will.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
Say, I know, but I feel like that's what we do.
I don't think her, as a rich white woman, needs
to be haggling in countries where she knows she can
afford it and she knows she spends more on less
pay these people pay them the surface price. Stop doing that.
That's how I feel about them, you know about that

(30:39):
behavior towards them. Pay up, Like, stop stop playing in
these people faces trying to penny pinch here and there
when you know you got it.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Well, I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Her specifically, like people of her experience, people of her
mindset who think that like they are owed something or
have this kind of mentality she does feeling somewhat superior
or other. I don't like that. Pay up girl.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
She does feel superior, and it's something that's very obvious
in the way that she maneuvers and moves in this country.
And I think that's what she likes being there, because
she does feel very catered too, and like a like
she has all the money in there for all the power,
and there's a I can see that because when you're
on vacation, you want to feel taken care of. And

(31:28):
a lot of times in these countries they will, they
will very much cater and run around and do whatever
they need to do. So they could tip them and
give them money for the extra bit, And yeah, I
would agree. I see what you're saying. And so then
she's in the marketplace. She gets an outfit and I
was thinking to myself, I paid full price for this.

(31:48):
I never thought to haggle. And I also got a
dressed and I thought the dress was too expensive but
I was like, I want to give to a small
business owner, Like, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be
a haggler. Like to me, it's like, if you tell
me that your shit is worth fifty dollars or forty dollars,
then I'm gonna pay you that. And then I start
I started to be like, Dan, did I get jipped?
Was this was this woman expecting me to haggle with her?

(32:11):
So now every time I goes on this place and
I buy more than one item, I'm gonna ask for
ten dollars off.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah, just be like, oh, unfortunately I only have forty. Okay.
It was like we're forty, oh well here go. Yeah,
imagine you're like change for fifty.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
They'll be like you, that's what I should have did,
but I didn't do that. I was like, okay, whatever,
you know, whatever you say, the price is now out
of that dress. But anyway, so she then hears the
music and she's like, I quite like drums and uh
then the man starts to play drums, and so she's
like when I hear music, I just dance like Abram

(32:46):
can't stop me. And I'm like, is that dancing?

Speaker 1 (32:50):
I wrote down two stepping or whatever, slash convulsing. That's
what my notes say, two stepping or whatever, slash convulsing
because I was looking intently, like what are we doing?
What are we moving? Exactly? It was just a little
bit of a uh, like a nerve, like a nervous tick. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
Met the definition of dancing and the activity of dancing
for pleasure or in okay, no, no, no, it's not
it's not giving me. How do you define? Dancing is
a form of creative expression through physical movement that includes
rhythmic movements at accompany music. And that's the part that's missing.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
It's the rhythmic.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
Movement accompanying music. And there's no rhythmic music movement.

Speaker 4 (33:38):
It's because it's flashing with rhythm rhythm, Yeah, yeah, movement
clash clashing with music, like it's she's just jumping around
and this other lady is having a good time laughing
at her.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
And if I were, then might we And also did
you try to set the like cinematography or whatever lens
they were using on that camera was real crystal clear
because everything looked very bright and beautiful. M h yeah.
But anyway, so then they go and they sit down
and he's like, yeah, man, you've got to reduce the
alcohol and wear something long. And he's like, I like

(34:12):
you so much, you're so kind. You take care of
my family and I love you and la la la
la la la la. And she's like, do you follow me,
sexy and he's like.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, oh yeah, I forgot. I forgot. I was like
this man, get him out of my face. I really
felt like that was a moment where he was dumping
every English word he remembered and was directing it at
her and again easily wooed. She was like, oh, I
think this is the first real conversation we've ever had.

(34:44):
And I feel that. And I'm like, girl, if you
don't wake up, if you don't take that ass of
the airport to pack it up, like please. But she's
she's locked in, like she is in that man's corner.
My man, my man, my man, Like she will stick
beside him. It's weird. Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
All right, now we've got Sam and Ali.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
So oh lord.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, he's going to the airport to pick her up
and he has forgotten flowers and he knows that she's
going to be upset about it. So when he gets there,
he's waiting in the van. He doesn't even go inside
the airport, so maybe you know, it's his old hat
now and he doesn't have to actually go in. So
she comes out and she sees him, and she's so
happy and they hug and then she's like, where's my

(35:30):
flowers and he's like yeah, yeah, and he's like I'm
a flower. But like he you know, but instead of
him just being like, you know what, you're right, I
absolutely forgot and I realized it on the way here.
He doesn't. He makes up some weirdness. She doesn't get
too upset. They get into the cab or to the
van and he's like, oh, I can't wait to go
home and rest, and she's like, no, no rest for

(35:51):
the wicked or the weird, whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Which is why originally I thought like I had to
rewind that part of it, because I thought she was
picking him just by virtue of the dynamic. Like I
was like, okay, so he didn't get you flowers that
he's tired, So did he have to get early to
get on the slide? Like what hold on? And I
had to run it back? And then I'm like, oh,
she trucked it. He came empty handed and he's tired.

(36:16):
Why you're tired?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Now he's being exactly, he's been up all night gaming.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
You don't have a right to be tired.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
I wonder if he's making money.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Girl, that man ain't making no money, please.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
That's always my hope. If anybody spends more than two
hours a day, who doesn't, Okay, if you spend, it
depends on it if you actually work. He doesn't work,
so he spends like most of his time gaming.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
He doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah, there's no evidence that he does.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Oh oh, this is worse than I thought. He doesn't. Okay,
then then I hope he makes money off gaming, because
in her world, it's it's engulfed him. It's all he does,
and she's like that.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
I feel like in his first their first season, he
was working. He was like either a server or he
did something where he had to speak English. But now
he's in Malata, Malatya, Malatya, So he's somewhere where he's
not in is dumbul. He's not someplace where there might

(37:16):
be a large, like touristy situation. So I'm not sure
what he does now, but yeah, it just does seem
like he just plays video games all day. So she's like,
we got a lot to talk about, we got to organize,
and this just seems like, you know, like when they
arbitrarily decided that eighteen year old eighteen was like the
age that you're an adult, and that which is such

(37:38):
an arbitrary number. Why that number? Why not twenty? Why
not a full round number? Yeah, why not just twenty
or twenty five? And then the arbitrary like, oh, twenty
one is drinking age? Why twenty one?

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Why that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:52):
So and it's like and it's like all the western
world just decided that eighteen was the age. Yeah, and
it's like the same thing as like, so they decided that,
And then now you have people like Sam and Sam
and Ali who are thirty and like twenty five or
whatever they're they're older than that, but who seem like
marriage to them is just a joke, Like it doesn't

(38:16):
seem real at all.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
I think that's partly because they're far away from each
other that it doesn't feel like they've activated the marriage.
Maybe they've gotten married, but they're not living a married life.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Yeah, but it still.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Feels like they're young and just navigating every day as
it comes I don't see any direction really from either
one of them. I don't know what their story was
before this season of ninety Day Fiance, but I'm not
getting any ambition from either one of those two.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
What are their goals? They don't even know where they
want to live. They have different ideas of where they're
going to live, Like what what is? What's the HAPs
and the craps? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Like I think he's waiting to start his life. So
he's giving off the impression that he's waiting to get
to the UK to start his life and to take
his life more seriously. Whether that means professionally, I don't know,
but he's still very much like he's goofing around about it.
And these are real conversations that you can you should
be having with your partner around where you're gonna live,
where you're gonna build your family, where you're going to

(39:18):
plant your roots, And he's just making a joke of
it and trying to play mind game so that she
can not want to live in Malatya for the UK.
It's just really childish.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah, That's what I'm getting. Because then like they go
to the supermarket and she falls right into the trap
of like, what the fuck is thatsing? Like she's just.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Crazy, She's not. I don't understand that the UK doesn't
have any of that, Like that didn't really what they
showed in that episode didn't necessarily catch me off guard. Yeah,
maybe because I'm you know, my my parents are immigrants
of this country. So I've been back to dr and
I've seen you know, open markets, meat markets that we'll
have a whole head like that, we'll have pig feet,

(40:03):
we'll have this, and then I make that at the
house on a Saturday when she when it's on sale
at the supermarket, you know. So that stuff doesn't really
catch me off guard. But she seemed like it was
her first time being exposed to that level of authenticity.
That part was weird to me. But maybe that's just
our experiences are so different.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
No, I feel like she she just stays away from
it wherever she's from. She's not from like London, she's
not always where that where that is like something that
she could get has access to, or she just avoids it.
And yeah, it's just like it is very interesting that
she's like, I don't do spices, just a little bit
of salt, and pepper. A little bit of salt and pepper.

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Somebody's lying, bitch, That is not if you're eating McDonald's,
you're you're eating a lot of salt, okay.

Speaker 2 (40:53):
Like are you making your own food like or are
you eating fast food? Like you're just a lot of salt,
my friend. So it's just it's yeah, it's just like
weird that she's like Chiley reactions. I don't know, it's
really difficult to watch them and take them seriously because
all it is is her complaining about him, and we
just know that these two idiots should not have gotten
married and they're playing a game. And when you and

(41:14):
this is what I say, this is not what I say,
but when you have people in her country who are
fighting for homosexuals and people who are same sex and
like whatever queer folk to not get married, but then
these two people are bumbling around, fucking around the sanctity
of marriage like nonsense, absolutely ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Yeah, agree, okay.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
I just said homosexual, Like that's the oldest word ever.
I was like, what's the word homosexual? It's not homosexual.
I could not say a word. It's queer. I want
to say. It's so funny because I have a friend
who we do that when we're trying to be funny.
She's like, well he's gay. He's like that homosexual over there.

(42:02):
But anyways, okay, last couple is Finn and Sandra. So
this is where they do give us a timeline. Finn
has been home now for four months, and he needs
to be thinking about a lot that's going on because
Sandra's coming in a short day, So he decides to
freeze his balls off for thirty seconds in order to
get the same adrenaline rush. I guess as jumping out
of a plane.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
That was why.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
I literally put a question mark, why did he do that?
Like what he said? How did that move the needle?

Speaker 2 (42:31):
He said, that's an adrenaline rush and he feels balanced.
Then on the way home. Then on the way home,
he has a conversation with Sandra where she foolishly brings
up the fact that Eloisa, her sister, invited her ex
to the family barbecue, and now Finn is believing full

(42:51):
on that Eloisa is plotting an assertment of his seat
in Sandra's life. Just hate him so much that he
would do that, she mistake, Yeah, yeah, and so that's
on Sandra for even saying anything to him, but also
on Finn for being so irrational and feeling some kind

(43:12):
of way about it, because he knows that he fucked
up when he went there by not learning Portuguese, and
now he feels like he's been kicked out by somebody
who's better because that person speaks Portuguese and can actually
interact with her family and.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
Someone who's already connected to them because he's the children's father. Yes,
this is her ex who's the father of her children.
And so because the sister had said, I think you
should get back with your ex, and Sandra originally told
Finn that, so he's already been feeling this from episodes
prior because but that was more in passing. They didn't
really inflate it the way they did this episode. And

(43:45):
so now that she has invited him to the family barbecue,
and that's where Sandra tells Finn this and he's like,
wait what, And you're right, you correctly stated that he
is under the impression that this man is going to
usurp his role as her partner. And to be fair,
he's incredibly insecure about it, and Sandra's very flippant about it,
like she's very much like it's not that deep, Like

(44:07):
they might feel that way, but I don't feel that way.
I don't care what they think. Why do you care
what they think? And I respect her position, and to
be fair, she has been consistent with that. She's always
been saying those things. But I can understand from his
perspective how it's easier said than done to believe that.
It's like, why wouldn't you take your sister's advice. She's
your sister, she cares about you, she loves you, You
trust her for other things. Why wouldn't you trust her

(44:28):
judgment in this regard? Yeah, I think he went about
it in a funky way, But equally, I feel like
Sandra played it poorly, because why would you tell that
man that, yeah, oh, he's not the target audience for
that kind of as we say, chief me, like.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
We're not gonna yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yet this man that you know.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
That, And the fact that I think the reason why
he feels the way he feels is because he didn't
fucking learn the language and he thought that he could
just like get away with not I don't understand people's
trepidation was just like learning.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Hard.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
It's hard, Like I have been trying to learn Spanish
for the better part of my life. I've been trying
to learn Spanish since, like for as long as I
can remember, as long as a second language was a
was an option, as long as as long as I've
been able to watch food moall, Like I have been
trying to learn Spanish.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
No, it's hard. And that's why most people teach children
when they're babies, because that's the easiest time that your
brain is ready willing and able to mold to as
many languages, quite frankly, as you force on it.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
That and I would need to just be fully immersed
in Spanish like I can learning it. Learning it like
just by like taking classes and watching TV is not it.
I need to be in a place where somebody forces
me to speak back to them.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
There's no other option, I think, Like for me growing up,
I remember one summer that I spent in dr My
brother was supposed to stay with me. He basically had
like a panic He was maybe like eight years old.
He had like a panic attack, and I was like, no,
I don't want to, and of course my mom was like,
oh my baby, no, he won't stay. She took him
back with her. I stayed the whole summer. My Spanish
in comparison to my brothers and my sister, is significantly better.
I'm convinced I attribut to that summer when it was

(46:01):
literally ninety days my grandparents, you know, even watching everything
on TV was in Spanish. And my pronunciation, my nunciation,
my accent is much different like my brothers and my
sister sounds a little bit more like you can tell
it's not their native language, where whereas where I speak,
at least, the feedback that I've gotten is that mine
sounds a bit more advanced. And I'm I'm with you,

(46:24):
I think with when you fully engulf yourself in it,
your brain starts to even think in that language. Yeah,
and then that become it becomes a little bit more
easier to conjugate verbs and just have it conversationally, which
I think it's.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Hard for me to conjugate verbs. It's hard to be
conjugate verbs because that's a foreign concept. I know somebody
said we do it here in the US, but I'm like.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
We do, but it's it's opposite different.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, it's not the there's not a root word that
we just changed the ending to It's different.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Words, right, it's a completely yes, it's different.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Words for the the thing. And so I was like,
I was like, okay, but like I mean the fact
that sometimes I'm like, oh, maletha like that is just
now I'm I left out of me, like my suitcase. Yeah,
I'm like lug it. What's the word lugging?

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Right? You know I'm with you. Yeah, when I call
my mom, I'm like, oh, you left your maleta here,
But it's not like you left the suitcase. That's that's
weird off the time the.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Word I want to say yes, So yeah, there's certain
words to me that in my head I will say
them in Spanish and that it's just locked in as
that word now because I love that word, a better
word than anything. But like, yeah, it's it's very very
it's very very interesting. But I can I don't know
what it's like to not be surrounded by any other
language and then have to learn learn a language because

(47:38):
I've always been surrounded by different sounds. So to me,
it's not a big deal.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Okay, So finn I did we have to remember that,
Like he didn't have to do this by himself. Like,
there are courses, there are instructors, there's online like, there
are a lot of tools he could use to accelerate
this learning, and obviously he was opposed to it for
a significant period of time. He only recently came around
to admitting that, yeah, actually, me learning the language is

(48:02):
truly the obstacle that's blocking me from connecting in a
in a way that's meaningful to your family and to you.
And I feel like he's not really leaning into the
fact that he doesn't have to do it alone. You
could lean on some other things. Her get there and
her right exactly, which is the she would be the
best teacher in a practice and the children. Honestly, yes,

(48:24):
like her, Like he could.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
He has somebody he could talk to at least twice
a day in the full language and then attempt to have,
you know, the conversations. So then she is she's gotten
into the country the way he makes a scene, they've
let her into the country, and I'm like Jesus Christ.
So anyways, she's into the country, and he's like, ah,
like a MidCat in the Brazilian wilderness, I'm looking for her.

(48:50):
And I was like, oh my god, Finn, you're so annoying.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
So I must have buried that because I blocked that
out of my brain.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah, he's he's in the hopes. He's in the airport
and he's like like a meerkats in the Brazilians, in
the Brazilian wilderness. He's looking for her, and she gets there.
They hug and he holds her. He looks at her
and he's like, kids are okay, and she's like yeah,
and he's like they didn't cry and she's like no,
and he's like, well great, I could be a good

(49:16):
step dad.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Then I was like, oh, weird thing to say. But
also you said the opposite very recently. We don't believe
you you need more people.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
But also like them kids are not crying aged kids
at all.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
They're just like, okay, by mom, let's see you in
a week.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
They're not the kids to cry, So like, why is
it that you're worried about her? Like hearing children cry? Now,
I will say I was in Walmart the other day
and I was and I heard like maybe like a
seven year old or eight year old start to get whiny.
And I was like, oh, thank god, I didn't, thank god,
thank god. My nephew is nonverbal. Like you know, like

(49:57):
just thank God, because like I, babies cry makes sense
to me.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
But after a certain age, like yeah, I will say,
it becomes a little bit challenging. My nephew's eight years
old and he's my best friend and they are truly,
I love that kid so deeply, and there are moments
where he'll cry over something and I can tell that
it's frustration and not knowing how to emotionally regulate and

(50:21):
not knowing how to channel that. And the old me,
like meaning before he was born, would have been very
much like dude, like what there's nothing here to get
upset about? Truly, Yeah, But I guess it's probably because
I care about him that I'm like, let's talk through
these emotions, Like tell me, is he to.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
You in Walmart? No?

Speaker 1 (50:42):
I don't think he would cry to me in a Walmart,
but I do. But I recognize. But the whininess of
being like even though we had a talk in the car,
we said we're gonna, we're here for a pickup order,
we're not buying anything. We're in and out, and then
whininess and being like ome but I really just want
it that But that's when I get nonverbal and then
look where I'm just like, bro, buddy, buddy, I.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
Know, but I can't the crying. The crying. My nephew
will nearly pull my arm out of its socket, trying
to pull me back towards the thing that I want,
And I'm like, then I then we I'm like, this
is yeah, yeah, but you want to let my arm
go because like that's the only thing he understands, and
he like backs up and be like, oh yeah, I'm
stop pulling my arm, and then he's like and then

(51:30):
I'm like, okay for me, though I do it for
him because he's nonverbal and he can't use any other thing,
and because not on top of being nonverbal, he's also autism.
Like he just doesn't fucking get why he can't have
it right. There's no explaining it to him.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
There's another level of patience and approach that.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Yeah, yeah, a little bit of like bucking at him
to get him to let me the fuck go, because
you can't just be pulling on me. You're almost ten
years old. Let me grabbing my arm like that?

Speaker 1 (51:54):
I feel, but no, you're right, Like, why would then
expect that they would be crying? I think it just
shows his navyte and his lack of being around actual
children to know their behaviors, and also when behaviors start
and stop or decrease based off of age. And then
we get to my favorite parts. This is my favorite part.
Why I dont know why because it gives her a gift.

(52:16):
Tell the people what the gift is? Why tell the
people what it is? Because the way the way her reaction,
I was like, I'm with you, girl, what is that?
Tell the audience what that is.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
He gives her a glass of sand. So what he
has done is he has pulled sand. He has taken
sand from Brazil, and he has taken sand from the
sea shore of the UK, and he's mixed it together
in this little ass mason jar and he's given it
to her as like some kind of token, and she's
just like okay, and he and he feels like it's sentimental.

(52:48):
It means something like this is really sweet, and she's
just like, this is a very thin gift. And I
want to I want to normalize people giving gifts to
the people, like you should give somebody a gift that
you know that they.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
Would want, not the gift that you want to get
right pose offset gift.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Yes, and people do this quite often where like and
this also happens like later on in life, like to me,
this happened. This is you don't know this about me,
but I'm ungrateful. Don't give don't don't give me a
gift if it's not something that you know I want,
because I'll be.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Like, what was this for?

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (53:29):
And I'm gonna be.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Shy about it. I don't I don't believe. I don't
believe in in gift giving just to give, yeah, like
or like, what is this so terrible? My aunt once
bought me a heart shaped watch and it was like
a little like pocket watch, like you know, like a
like a fancy gentleman would have. I had no idea
what to do with it. It was silver. It just

(53:50):
wasn't my wasn't my thing. She still talks about this
to this day. And I thought that it was one
of those items that you know sometimes you're in like TJ.
Max or you're in certain stores and you just pick
up a bunch of but of stuff and then you
decide who you're going to give those things.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
To after the fact, after the.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
Fact, and I thought that's what it was. And after
the fact gift and I was like, Okay, well she
feels good that she gave it to me, because people
feel good when they give gifts. But I don't feel
good if I don't if it doesn't touch me, and
I don't think you thought through giving it to me.
This woman still talks about that watch this day and
I have to be like, oh, yeah, it was so lovely. Yeah, no,
I loved it, but like in the moment, I was like.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
I don't want to mean, while it keeps you up
at night, how much.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
I don't want or somebody was like, I know you
like makeup, so they bought me like some shitty makeup,
and I was like, if you know I like make
you know I like makeup? Did you go to the
forem by this right?

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Give me some.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
Or just go to the fort and give me a
gift card? Like don't just buy me makeup that you
think looks pretty. I think it was like l a
girl or something. And sure the past I'm like went
and wiless like for it to actually show up on
me is a is a an exercise and patience. I
have to do magic, I have to put on a bass,
I have to do all kinds of stuff for the

(55:04):
wet and wild to work, and if the web wild
wasn't like, yeah, I don't know the Elvira or the
like witches version of it where you knew okay, she
fucks with witches. I'm getting this like I when when
I get a gift and I'm looking at it, like,
why would you get this for me? Like? What about
me made you go? This is wahima? Yeah, then I'm
I'm like annoyed, don't give me ship, don't get me.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
I wish I mean hey, And sometimes you're right. You
have to know your audience with gift giving. You have to,
And you're right. It's too easy for people to fall
into the habit of saying like I love this, and
I would like this, so obviously someone else would. It's
it's a bad thing to infer, it's a bad thing
to assume. It's just it's not safe now, I will say,

(55:46):
I think sometimes that's why I sort of I tend
to lean towards experiences. My mom loves Broadway shows does matter.
She loves the idea of the concept of an experience
being live theater. She's a fan. I've gotten her Broadway,
I've gotten her off Broadway. I've gotten her community place.
She just loves to see people on the stage.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Yeah, you know, so sometimes when people are.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
That at least wide ranging, you know, there's you can
there's so much critical mass you can expand to. But
not a lot of people are like that. A lot
of people are more particular, more specific. So I'm definitely
with you on that. I think per chains to sorry
as it pertains to Finn, I thought it was very
interesting because right before he gave her that piece of
shit sand castle, he said to her, I have a

(56:29):
surprise for you, but it's not a ring. Yeah, okay.
First of all, why would you lead with that? Why
would you lead with disappointment because you already know that
she's been talking about the ring and wanting to get
engaged in all that stuff, and you fly her out
to the UK and you're doing and you start you
came in hot. I'm a surprised for you, but it's
not the one you wanted. So here's something I thought
that I wanted. Yeah, I love it. If you don't

(56:53):
get the puck on, like I'm sorry, that's the fastest
way to piss me, smooth off.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Give me a gift card don't try to give me
a gift card, give me money.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
But I'm the bottle power in someone else's hand. I agree, Yeah,
I mean a bottle.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
You know, you know, like this is not hard. This
is this is the year of our Lord, twenty twenty five.
It is not hard, not.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
In this day and age. No, you can make a
digital We don't even have to see each other.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
Yes to give me an Amazon.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
So they get back into the car and they're driving,
and they have champagne in the car and he does
something else to like make her pause again. I don't
even write it down, but like every time he starts
to talk, he's trying to be funny and clever, and
he says something that she thinks is fucking weird, and

(57:46):
like it's almost like she wants to have an a
side at the camera and be like he's only taking
this way because you guys are here.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
A very the office moment, like you're just much and
too little at the same time. Who would have thought,
you know, she says, this is new. You tell her
little comments are very much like cute, Like she's just
eating her words. She said, champagne in the car and
it's not for a proposal. I'm like, my girl knows
what she wants and you are dilly dallying in her face.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Yes. Yes, So then they get to uh his house,
and he's like, Oh, that's my cat Mia, and don't
worry if she doesn't like you, we'll still stay together,
unlike a sister or something.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
Like, don't let the st let our lives. Yeah, because
he said, oh, if she doesn't like you, then we'll
have to break up, and she was like huh, and
then he starts laughing, so she takes as a joke.
And then he says, we shouldn't let our lives be
determined by a cat, same way it shouldn't be determined
by a sister. I said, oh, burn landed that one.
I also wrote very gatto coded. Once I saw the.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Cat, Gatta doesn't have a caller on him, I want
to put one on him so.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
That he's free. We're free.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
You can't see him.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
But he's just a little man, is that him? The blurn?

Speaker 2 (58:58):
Yeah? Little right here?

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Got told?

Speaker 2 (59:04):
So he was when I was sleeping. He was over
there on his little like cat singing. And then as
soon as I moved over here, I hear him like
jump down and like peddle over so he can sleep
right here.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
He was like, oh, thank god, she's off the way
and I can get my spot back.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
He like he has to follow me wherever I go
and sleep near. So I'm like, where do you sleep
when I'm in my room?

Speaker 1 (59:26):
He's probably like, mind your business. He's out of the household.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
He your business, all right. So the next morning he
gets up and he makes her some British sausage because like,
that's a proper British breakfast. But he's a vegetarian, so
he burns it. And I was like, that's not the
reason why he burned it. He burnt it because he
doesn't know how to cook.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
He's incapable like that, being a vegetarian. He's just terrible
at it despite his efforts. Can we call that efforts?
I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Yeah. And so she's like I wake up in the
morning and the first thing I smell was smoke. I
was like, oh god, it's a bad beginning. So they
go to Cambridge, which is his old stomping grounds from college.
I'm like, oh, you went to Cambridge, Okay, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
You're not an Is that I feel important?

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Isn't Cambridge like an ivy league grew oun't know those people.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
I just learned about black Scottish people this week. I
don't know nothing about the UK Cambridge because it's.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
So funny too, because like now with the with the
Black Scottish, there are trolls who are pretending to be
black Scottish people and are being rude and are being like,
you didn't know we existed. Americans are so dumb, and I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Like, i'll tell you right now all anywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
I asked a Scottish person twenty five years ago if
there were black people in Scotland and he told me no,
So like that is.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Why I thought that we okay, so American. We didn't
heard it here. First. He ruined it for all of
y'all because he said no. We asked why bat Man
said no, and we just believed him. We packed it
up and we said, all right, say less. Yeah, and
we never wanted it asking him.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
But it's just it's because of immigration. It's not like
they're natural or they're they're not.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
There right, They're not like, yeah, I was gonna say redheads,
but I think that's Ireland.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
No. The University of Cambridge is a prestigious public collegiate
research university in Cambridge, England, found in twelve o nine twelve.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Okay, well that is medieval, that is before time glass
we made.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
Castles were there, but there was no glass instead castles.
When I think, can I tell you right now that
when I discovered that glass was it was like a
change in industry for the people during that time, I said, Oh,
I thought the wheel was invented and then glass, Like I.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Don't at the same time. Maybe that's why Finn thought
that his stupid sand gift was good. But sand turns
into glass and he thought he was doing something.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Yeah, it's like it's the third oldest. It's the world's
third oldest university in continuous operation and is renowned for
its academic excellence and significant contribution to global knowledge. So
Cambridge's twelve oh nine shit. Anyways, So he takes her

(01:02:21):
there to go punting, and he says that when he
was in college he was pretty good at it, And
I'm like, how did you lose the skill set? Because
how old is he?

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Again?

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
How old did we know? The thirties? Thirty three? Maybe
I think they're the same age. I think it's thirty
three so he was.

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
In college ten years to forget completely because the boat
was rocking, you mean, like left to right. It was
there no balance there at the very least. I would
think there's some basic fundamentals that they would teach you
that that you will always recall. Yeah, no, any of those.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
She said, it's cold, it's a boat, and it's water. No,
he said, it's uh. He's like, I don't Why would
I leave Brazil? Why would I leave Brazil for cold
boat and water? Thing I don't want to do. I'd say,
I don't want to be here, and I'm I'm like,
I get you. He you're from Brazil. Yes, you don't
want this?

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
I literally put, why would I leave Brazil for this?
Is a valid question, that's the that's valid. Why. First
of all, why am I leaving Brazil for anything? Brazil?
Don't play with me, Brazil, I'm not I'm not leaving
Brazil for a glass of water. I'm not gonna leave
it for the dust money, like she says, she doesn't
like the cold. First of all, UK is already out, babe,
You've already gone too far. Doesn't like the boat, Okay,

(01:03:32):
you can avoid that. You don't always have to be
in the Thames River or whatever. She doesn't like the water,
she don't like nothing, she doesn't like any of it.
She and I'm curious how long her stay is because
she's already unhappy. This is day really day one mmm.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
And so then we start to go in on his
insecurity in paranoia about her family not liking him and
you know, being friends with the ex, and you know,
he's like, she says, well, the reason why they, you know,
are kind of whatever with you is because they don't
believe you're gonna move here. And he's like, well, I
got to work on forgiving your sister, and she's like,
why do you have to forgive her? She didn't do

(01:04:06):
anything to you. Yeah, And so she then regrets telling
Finn because now it's the same conversation where he's like,
your family is against me and they don't want us
to be together. And it's like, because they don't you
have not taken the time to learn her language so
to talk to them, so like you're.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Not yeah, right right. I think it's interesting because she
she has kept him honest up to this point, even
in moments like that. For example, I think if any
of the other couples would say, oh, your sister's doing this,
they would probably just leave it. They would just leave
it and not really contest it, Whereas I feel that

(01:04:44):
she has kept him honest, and she's like, no, why
would anybody do that? No? Why would she? Like she's
very quick to address it, like right then and there.
And I think she's trying to just keep him away
from being anti sister because she Louise is not going anywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
Yep. Yeah, and it's keeping it's not working. He really
just does feel like he needs everyone to be on
his side in order to feel comfortable. And I'm like,
then you need to learn languish that you can talk
to these people. Your imperialistic like behavior is not going
to get you anywhere with them, and you're stressing of
it is not going to do anything either.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
So so yeah, he says his anger is justified. I
I I don't think anger is the right emotion.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
Yeah. I don't think anger is the right emotion at
all either, And I don't think it's justified.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
Well, we got through it, we did girl, all right.
You guys, thank you so much for joining us. If
you would like to follow us on socials, you could
do so by following us everywhere at Daki Sweetie's or
you can follow Shay Shay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
You can follow me on TikTok as Shailene says, and
you can follow me on Instagram as Sugarchet. Come check
me out. Not doing shit, but come.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
I mean she's making linemaide and I.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
Am and replanting and ship. I'm just being outside a
little bit, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
You guys, thank you so much. If you want to
do some paid content, you can join us on patreon
dot com slash patreon dot com slash doctor studies. You
get a library the first Monday of the month plus
other goodies, so during some patreon dot com slash doctor suities. Otherwise,
you guys will see you next time. My