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August 12, 2025 12 mins
Today therapist Dom and Melissa are back in for another round of Kool 105 therapy sessions. Today's topic touches on long lasting feuds with a sibling. Dom tells his story about not talking with his sister for years and then the listeners flood the lines with stories of their own. Wanna stay connected to the show and follow along with all our stories? Follow us at the Dom with Melissa Facebook page here: Dom With Melissa Facebook Page 
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Dumb in the Morning with Melissa Moore the podcast on
Cool one oh five.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Let's talk about middle children. I've I've got several friends
who are middle children, and all of them describe themselves
as peacemakers, which is kind of interesting. I never thought
about that. Melissa is the oldest of kids in her family.
I'm the baby, so we don't have this middle child syndrome.
But apparently there's one in four groups of siblings, one

(00:33):
out of every four are estranged, and there's at least
one sibling that they don't talk to anymore, which is
a pretty staggering number. And we're already getting a bunch
of messages about this. I had this going on in
my family for I had a sibling that I did
not speak with in about seventeen years. Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 3 (00:57):
That is crazy to me. I just, yeah, that's hard.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
It was a stupid disagreement over something, but neither would
reach out and we just let it go because there's
six of us, right And you know they say in
this story too, that personality conflicts is the number one
thing on the list that's causing these people to be estranged.
And let's face it, I mean, if you've got two
kids in your family, their personalities are different. Now you know,

(01:21):
multiply that until you have six kids. It's almost exponential.
And the funny thing is is we now get along
just great, and it we never addressed it.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
Isn't that That to me is what's so interesting is
when you have a fight with a family member, sibling, parents, whatever,
and then you just let time take care of it
and then you just don't even revisit it.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, it's interesting. The time went by and then I
was driving through the town where she lived, and I
reached out and said, I'm a beat you guys want
to go grab breakfast or something? And we did and
it was that was it. It just we just needed
to get back together. It only took seventeen years.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Gosh, it's funny.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
So Tina just sent us an attack, she said, she
said that, let's see, Oh, she's writing why they're still
why they're still fighting?

Speaker 3 (02:10):
She's like.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
She said she avoided her brother even after even at
a family funeral, that she hasn't talked to him for
twenty years, and when asked why, she said, he's the
baby of the family. He was never responsible for anything
as a child and now that now thinks that he's
not responsible for anything as an adult.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Believe me, I have a laundry.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
List of things as to why I don't want to
have any contact with him twenty years.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
You know.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Here's the funny thing. And I remember, back when I
was in the midst of we were talking about riffs
with family, and I remember people calling in and they said, well,
things like, you know, it's too family is too important.
You know, blood is thicker than water, blah blah blah
blah blah, and my stance, I'm not referring to my

(02:58):
specific incident, but my position on this is being a
family member does not excuse someone from being an absolute
jerk or a monster. No, I would never sell somebody.
Oh you must make up because they're family. Now, I
don't believe that you can have family who are complete
a holes, you know, and it's like, just because they're family,

(03:20):
you have to accept that. I'm like, I think that's ridiculous. Yeah,
you know, don't surround yourself with jerks and creeps and
stuff like that, and if that includes family members, that's
my opinion. Some people disagree with that.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
No, I remember having a therapist tell me that one time.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
She's like, I am a big believer of if somebody
who is not healthy in your life, family member or not.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Cut him out, chuck him out of there.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Yeah, chuck him out of there. Rosina said that she
and her older brother basically had had a lot of problems,
and she said we talk more now, but I'm still
fine not talking to him for months or years.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
At a time. Sure, she said he was mean to
me and my younger brother.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, I get that. Get a load of this, David Littleton.
I've had a feud going with my older brother for
fourteen years after we got into a big fight over
politics at a Thanksgiving dinner. That'll do it, yep, he says.
Neither of us will reach out to patch it up.
And I can't forgive an idiot. You know what, I'll
give you a ding for that day.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
That's funny, It is incredible.

Speaker 4 (04:14):
Politics was on the list as far as like top
five reasons that people aren't talking to their siblings, and
I can see it, Like I am very tight with
both of my siblings, but that is one area I
know who I agree with on politics and I know
who I don't and the one that I don't agree
we just don't even go there. It's just not worth
it because you know what, I'm not going to change

(04:35):
that person's mind. They're not going to change mine. So therefore,
let's just not talk about it. There's tons of other
things we can discuss.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Christine and Broomfield says, my sister won't speak to me
since we disagreed over how to divide my parents' stuff
after they all died. She says, it's a stupid fight.
Somehow neither of us can seem to let it go.
It's been two years that one. I think that one.
I have a feeling you'll probably come back around to
each other. It's just really delicate and sensitive at that time,

(05:03):
so I think you'll come back around.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
It's so interesting to me how many people I know
went through something when one of their parents died and
dividing up the estate or something like that. But the
fight that it caused because of the parent's death and
now it's torn the siblings apart, and it's just it's sad.
I mean, if that was the reason why, it's just
to me, it's always sad. It's one thing if it's

(05:26):
not a healthy relationship to begin with, but when it's
something that was fine and then something like that tore
it apart.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
I hate seeing that.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Maybe the text of the day so far Emma in
Highland's Ranch, Emma says, does this count as a feud?
My sister slept with my fiance nine years ago and
I haven't spoken to her since, and needless to say,
I did not marry that guy. Yeah, well I hope
not so that happens. And then Nick just brings it
all home for us and says, some siblings are just

(05:56):
not good human beings. I've got one of those. That's
what he's say as Yeah, that's what we're talking about.
I mean, you can't necessarily forgive, you know, jerk behavior
just because they're family. If you don't want that toxicity
in your life, get rid of it, and if you
can make up down the road, then great. If not,

(06:17):
say lovey. We're talking on National Middle Child Day. It's
kind of interesting we've been hearing from a bunch of
people because the story mentions that one in four people
are estranged from at least one brother or sister. One
in four is a pretty sizable number, and they said

(06:38):
the top reasons are personality conflicts, manipulative behavior, conflicting values
or lifestyles. That's where that politics thing jumps in, or
religion or something like that, and it has kept people apart.
I had that happen for probably seventeen years, and then
we have reconnected and it's all good. Kirsten has the
I guess the same situation. Listen to this because we've

(06:59):
got a lot of very dark texts. Let's just tell
it like it is. We try to be very honest
on the show. Some of these I feel bad for
people with what they've been going through. But Kirson says,
I went nineteen years without talking to one of my
sisters who lives out of state. She finally reached out
this past Christmas. We talked for more than an hour,

(07:23):
and we're planning on meeting up sometime this fall. She says,
I'm a little nervous about it, but also happy to
finally have a ceasefire. I like that they got the
like talked over Christmas, and it's going to take almost
a year before they can kind of get the guts
up to meet up somewhere.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Well, and it makes sense.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
I mean, it sounds like there is peace right now
and getting together and having a conversation again could reignite
whatever happened. So it's like, ah, do we just let
it be peaceful or do we try and see if
we can move it to that next level.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
Eric sent us a text and he said he's the
youngest and he says his oldest sister in him don't
get along. So his middle sister, the middle child, you
were talking about them being the peacemaker. He said, she's
always the mediator. He said, I can't stand my older sister.
She thinks she knows everything and it's her way or
the highway.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, that's I've heard from more than one middle child
who says they act as peacemakers in the family. And
I always thought that was interesting, and I tend to
see examples of that all the time. But yep, you
know what's also interesting. Somebody wrote in, and I know
we've gotten a thousand texts on this. I can't remember
who it was. I'm sorry, I apologize, But they were
talking about how things change when one of your siblings

(08:36):
gets married. And all I will say is, I know
I'm close with someone who was always super tight with
all the siblings in the family, especially this one brother
who was just a hilarious guy, fun loving, caring, all
that great brother to have. When he got married, things

(08:59):
like changed and his new wife didn't care for the family.
And in a way, the person that I'm talking about
says that his whole relationship with his family was corrupted
and now they don't even talk anymore. And that can
happen when one of your siblings gets married to somebody

(09:20):
who doesn't like mesh with the rest of the family.
Whether it's a husband or wife, it doesn't matter. I mean,
that does have an effect, of course, the family dynamics.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
Of course it does.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
I mean, because you may feel like you have to
choose your siblings and your spouse, or your siblings and
your parents or your spouse. And I mean, if you
married the person, you're probably gonna choose your spouse.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
If you have to choose.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah, So that that happens too, and I'm sure we'll
hear more about that. We are playing therapists this morning.
With the text messages we're getting from people over there
broken relationships with siblings. We're trying to just keep it
like we're trying to just stay with siblings. A lot
of people are saying, well, let me tell you why
I can't stand my father. It's like, oh, wait a minute,

(10:05):
it's we're talking about sibs right now, right right. We
apparently pulled the stopper out of the bottle and there
is a lot of stuff born out.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
Yeah, it's National Middle Child Day, so that's what brought
all of this up. And one out of four people
are like, I don't talk to one of my siblings.
This is anonymous, and you'll see why here In a second,
this person wrote in I'm the oldest of three and
I don't speak or deal with either of my siblings.
My brother slept with my ex wife while we were
just still together, and my sister stole thousands of dollars

(10:34):
from my mom while she was in hospice.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Good lord, Oh my gosh. I wouldn't talk to them either.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah. I mean that's the thing we were talking about earlier,
that some people are like, well, you go to forgive
family their families, Like, no, no, some people are just
bad people, right, Like.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
You're the brothers shouldn't have slept with the wife. I mean,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
It's very interesting how much that has come up today,
The number of people who have slept with one of
their you know, sister in law or brother in law,
and that takes two to tango, you know.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
So I mean somebody had to say I'm open for
business on the other side.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
So to speak. Yeah, So I think we need to
stop this topic now because I'm kind of like, I'm
kind of like the EmPATH. You know, it's all like
coming out of them, you know, onto us, and Melissa
and I are going to be depressed all day. Thanks.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
I was like, oh my gosh, it's tragic.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
I didn't know. I thought it was going to be
more lighthearted. Oh, we didn't speak for two years because
of what. No. Yeah, we're yeah, the dumb stuff, but
we're getting like the dark stuff.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
No, No, I'm sorry. I feel like we should have
had a therapist here today for this.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well, we are therapists of sorts.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
We think we are.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
We're just much much less expensive on the radio on
and there we are and accurate. Sure, I guarantee we
say wiser things than AI so far. So far, people
are going to AI with issues like this. Yeah, they're asking,
you know, chat GPT, how do I handle you know,
my sister's left with my fiance. I mean, you know,

(12:12):
I want to know what chat.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
GPT says, I may put that in there.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
I hope Chad now, I hope Chad. GPT's first response was,
tell me more.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Do you have pictures?

Speaker 2 (12:26):
H just trying to have some fun.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
People Doom in the Morning with Melissa Moore the podcast
on Cool one oh five. Subscribe now so you never
miss an episode, and learn more about the show at
cool one o five dot com
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