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August 5, 2025 13 mins
A few weeks ago Dom shared the sad news that his Step Daughter decided to end things with her boyfriend, there isn't any bad blood but now she is slightly upset because he doesn't seem to be very upset post breakup. Dom and Melissa get into the idea that maybe acting like it is no big deal can actually help you in the long run. Wanna stay connected to the show and follow along with all our stories? Follow us at the Dom with Melissa Facebook page here: Dom With Melissa Facebook Page  

Wanna stay connected to the show and follow along with all our stories? Follow us at the Dom with Melissa Facebook page here: Dom With Melissa Facebook Page 
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Dumb in the Morning with Melissa Moore the podcast on
Cool one oh five.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
I have to talk to you about breakups because as
soon as I heard about this, my first response was
to laugh. My second response was to go, I think
I've kind of been there before. So in a nutshell,
my stepdaughter Zoe broke things off with her latest boyfriend. Okay,

(00:30):
she ended it.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Right, the firefighter, right, baker whatever, he.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Was, what job djure? Nice enough guys, Yeah, nice guy,
but she ended things with him just wasn't right. And
a couple of weeks went by and I was talking
to her mom my wife Qutchen about it, and something
came up about the ex boyfriend and I said, he

(00:56):
is Is he still like reaching out to her and
stuff like that, because you know, if you get dumb,
sometimes she reach out.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, if you're the dumpy, you're like, you know, reaching out, texts,
miss you, thinking about you, all that, And.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
What Gretch told me, she goes, No, the funny thing
is is that Zoe is a little upset that he's
not more upset.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yes, she thought he was going to be devastated, and
he's he's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
He seems to be fine. Yeah, And I would have
thought based on everything because he was one of those
super clingy types.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
And oh yeah he was over He'd like over the
top with yes, gift, givy, compliments, all of it.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah, And so I'm like, he's not going to handle
this dumping very well, right, I remember even said, you know,
I kind of blindsided him in a way. So I
was like, uh, he's not gonna let up. And apparently
he's like, all right, that's cool. I hope everything's fine
and things like that, and now Zoe's kind of crossing
her arms. Was like, well, wait a minute, shouldn't he
be a little more upset than this?

Speaker 3 (01:57):
That's so funny because it really does. It almost cuts deep,
cut me deep shrek. It just hurts a little bit
more because even though you wanted it, you wanted the
other person to miss you. Sure human nature, right, You
didn't want to feel like they rebounded that quickly. That's
always the worst is it doesn't matter. You break up

(02:20):
with somebody and then they're dating before you are. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm the one that ended it here, and yet you
seem to be doing better than me. Yeah, does it? Yeah,
it's a weird feeling.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
So in my head I started saying, now, is this
a ploy on his part?

Speaker 3 (02:36):
I it was brilliant? If he's pulling it off.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I don't know, because I obviously haven't talked to him,
but I'm like, is he is this some sort of ploy?
Like I'm going to act like everything's super cool because
look at the reaction it's happened.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well. But at the same time, men are so different
with breakups, Like we will pine away and we will
be sad, and it's like kicking the gut and guys
will be sad and then they move on. It's their
sadness always feels a little shorter than ours. And I
know I'm speaking in generalities, but think about your dating

(03:14):
life when you were single. How long did it take
you to move on? Okay?

Speaker 2 (03:22):
It depends, Okay, it depends on a lot of things. Okay,
there were some relationships where I I don't want to say,
got back on the horse. There were some where I
transitioned quickly and others that's stung a little.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
More, but transition probably pretty quickly.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Well, Like after when Bev and I got divorced, I
didn't really date anybody for almost a year.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
After that.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Okay, okay, that's why it.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Wasn't that I was. I just I thought it was
one of those things that's almost cliched, right, like you
need to find yourselves and.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Work on yourself. This is a cliche and kind of
make that was a marriage too. I think marriages can
be different than just dating, right. I think dating men
seem to get back in the you know, back on
the horse, back in the saddle, back in the saddle
a whole lot faster than women. I mean, there's tons
of signs.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, I don't know, because we Yeah, I said the
songs about it about how guys get back. Well, here's
what I know. I know that there's plenty of people
listening who have had their parents split and they can say, yeah,
my mom didn't get back in a relationship either ever,
or took a long time and dad was like remarried

(04:37):
within months.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
We see that all the time, especially yeah, with your parents,
and if they're older and the mom passes away or
something happens in the parents' divorce, dad gets remarried like
months later, or he's in a serious relationship and you're like,
wait a minute, mom was the love of your life,
Like six months ago and now look at you and
happy like you. You wouldn't even know they were ever

(04:59):
married before.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
So the thing, it's not like there's this like, oh,
you know, dad's still heartbroken. My dad's fine.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
One of my ex girlfriends worked with someone who had that,
and I had met the parents before of this friend
and the same situation. The mom passed and in about
four months the dad was not only in a new relationship,
he remarried, Yes, in like four months, and they were
a very happy couple. And I just remember that the

(05:26):
kids were all like pod right, they were so mad. Yes,
And I was telling, you know, my girlfriend at the time,
I was like, this guy is almost seventy. I think
he just he craved companionship and somebody to be there
with him. And whether it's to take care of him,

(05:48):
I don't know. I can't speak to that, but it's like,
I don't think the children should be pissed. I don't think.
So it's like, look, he's got to do what he's
got to do. It's not a comment on your mother.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
But it feels like that as the kid. I mean,
I watched my parents were married for thirty years and
a year later, they were both remarried to other people,
and it was just it was hard to work with
my year both of them, both of them. Wow yeah.
And I was like, well, I guess you guys really
did stay together for the kids, because you guys seem
to move on pretty well. You're like, huh, you know,

(06:21):
we thought mom and dad were doing great.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Nope, we're talking about how my stepdaughter, she's twenty three
years old, she dumbed her boyfriend. He just wasn't right
for her or whatever. And then a couple of weeks
later and Gredgen told me, she said, Zoe's actually upset
that he's not more upset m now. And we're both
kind of exaggerating. It's not like she was walking around, oh,
but she was just kind of like, he's not even upset.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
She's all but hurt about the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
It's kind of funny. Janet from Westminster is weighing in
on this because Melissa was bringing up the whole thing
about how men tend to rebound a lot faster in
the rack. There's obviously, you know, yep, other cases, but
in general, men might rebound more quickly. Janet says, I
think women have a much more extensive friend group than

(07:09):
men typically. So to me, it's not surprising that a
man would be in a relationship soon after a breakup
because he needs that emotional connection, whereas a woman can
get a lot of her emotional needs met through her
friends and for a longer period of time.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
Do you agree with that, Yeah, I actually do. I
think it's a deep comment, but I think there's a
lot of truth in it. Where when you were talking
about because I talked about how my parents, you know,
after thirty years married, both remarried a year later and
they're both happy and good for them and all of that.
But at the same time, I know for my dad
it was absolutely about companionship. Yeah, because for men, they don't.

(07:49):
A lot of men don't have that giant circle of
friends like women do, and so that one person to
do everything with, that person tends to be their partner,
and so they want that, and I get it. But
here's my question for you, Because I talked about my parents,
and I think a lot of kids, like we've seen
our parents divorce and remarry and everything else. And if

(08:10):
your parents are married for a long time and then
they get with somebody else as a kid, Do you
have a right to say anything about how you feel
about the whole thing?

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Oh, that's such a good question, so.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Because it always feels so tricky, especially like if you
don't like the person that your parents starts dating, or
or you feel like they're moving too fast with somebody.
You as the kid, do you have a right to
say anything? Or is it hey, your parents are living
their own life.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I think you have a right to say something if
you think something is truly bad for them, If it's
just that you don't really care for them, or it's
not who you would pick, then I think you keep
your mouth shut. But if you think there's some sort
of danger involved there or something like I lost my
mom when I was twenty one. She died when I
was only twenty one years old, and my dad did

(09:00):
and see anybody, didn't do anything for like four or
five years, and then, like I want to say, five
or maybe six years later, he started going out with
this really sweet, wonderful lady. Her name was Vi, and
she was wonderful and all of us kids loved her.
We're like, look, she's not our mom, she's not trying
to replace our mom, and she's a wonderful woman, and

(09:22):
we even told Dad you should marry her, you know,
she's really good for you and stuff like that. He
never did, and then sadly vipassed. It's like my dad
was the angel of death or something.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Dad.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Then he started going out like three years after that
with some woman who was horrible. Oh, and we all
kind of made it clear that we didn't care. So
we did both ways. We were like, we loved VI,
she was wonderful, but this other one we called her
the joker, as in like from the Batman.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, it was like the joke. She was bad news?

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Did he was? He upset with you guys for saying something.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
You know, my dad, he's got a great sense of humor.
He doesn't he didn't care what Really, that was funny.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Because I think it's really difficult as a kid to know.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
It's like, look what about Wait wait a minute, let
me ask you what would you do? Did you speak
up with about your parents, either one of the people they.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Chose, yes, no one one I did. And I've got
to be careful about what I say here. One I
was fine with, okay, and one I was not fine
with okay, And I made it very clear, because I
admit I sometimes I I don't I don't know how
to have confrontations, so sometimes I come in like a
bulldozer and I don't mean to. But I was like,

(10:41):
let's cut through the nice that he's like, he's they
are just he huh he like, So I will just
say this is the biggest problem. I'm not gonna say
any more than that.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
You can tell me. I won't tell anyone, right.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
I'm already on a bad list. Tell me no, I'm
already on the bad list. But it was it was
one of those things where I said something, but it
didn't matter what I said, and in fact, it caused
a strain in the relationship and so but I and
that was kind of it was like, oh, so you
don't like so and so, and then all because sudden,
now I was the bad person and now all of

(11:19):
a sudden, it was this this tension. And it's weird
as a kid when your parents are doing things that
you find just.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Wrong, or it's almost like a role reversal because now
and you're almost like the parent he's not on board
with the person that they're dating, right, or or I.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Have a friend of mine right now, who just went
through this where he was dating somebody lovely for a
long time, they broke up, no fault of anybody's and
the kids were upset with him for breaking up with.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
I get that. I get that if dad had split
from Vie, we would have we would have gone with her,
right And that's what he's finding.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
He's like, he's like, I would like to take someone else,
and they're like, no, the person better.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I think I may I'm not sure exactly what Zach
and Heimann's ranch is saying, but I may have to
disagree with you, Zach, he goes, I think the parent
should be considering the kids in thoughts and opinions during
the process. I disagree with that.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
See, I don't think.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
I don't think if you're a parent that you know
you lose your partner whatever, that you have to base
who you start seeing on whether or not your kids
like them or not.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
Okay, but I disagree live your life. Okay, But hold
on a minute, because I was a single mom for
a long time, and if my daughter as a single mom,
and I'm not talking about an adult kid, I'm talking
about a kid that lived at home. If she had
a big problem with somebody I was dating. I would
not have kept dating them. I would not bring that

(12:44):
tension into my house as a single mom.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
That's interesting because I know some of the people I
went out with my son Dominic did not care for hmmm.
And I was like, and I would be like, well,
he's a really good kisser, dude, that's so wrong.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
Oh my god, No, wonder he's scarred.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Guy, He's not scarred. He's living his boss life.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Scarred.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Don in the Morning with Melissa Moore the podcast on
Cool one oh five. Subscribe now so you never miss
an episode, and learn more about the show at cool
one oh five dot com.
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