Dr_ Velma TALKS Episode 10 #wait #training #godlydating

Some of us hate waiting. Waiting for our answer to prayer or waiting for a mate. But God uses our waiting season for good. Dr. Velma calls it WAIT Training and shares Isaiah 40:31 to help us see why.  Discover more in this podcast episode.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Doctor Velma Talks, Episode number ten.
I'm excited and I am ready to get started. This
is Doctor Velma Talks Dating, Relationships and Marriage, Godly Dating
Relationships and Marriage. And it's a conversation that you get
to have with me as a best selling Christian author,

(00:26):
a certified dating and relationship coach, an ordained minister, a
professional Christian speaker, and a woman who's been blessed to
be married fifty years. And I am your podcast host.
So let's get started today. We're going to talk about
this season that you're in. I just want to encourage you.

(00:46):
I just finished recording an episode with another great team
and so I felt inspired to go ahead and record
this segment early. And what I'm excited to talk to
you about is the import of your waiting. So for
those of you who are in a marriage and you're
waiting for God to bring an answer, you're in a

(01:07):
waiting season. And for those of you who are waiting
for God to send the mate that he has for you,
because you've put in the work, you're making sure that
you're doing what you should be doing to prepare yourself
for his heart. You're preparing so that you can present
the best version of yourself. No one wants to present
themselves broken with unresolved issues, would hurt from the past

(01:33):
that you're still dragging around you. Hear me say it
all the time, Paul's famous word, lay aside every weight
and the sin. But it's the weight we forget about
that can be just as deadly, just as deadly in
terms of disrupting what you're believing God to do for
you and your mate. But you just want to get
rid of it. And so that's the reason we spend

(01:55):
a lot of time in the Love is a Choice workbook.
And I'll be putting those links in the comments section
for those of you who are listening. If you want
to get those links, you can always take a look
at this episode on some of the other platforms. Because
on all the platforms YouTube, Facebook, and as well as Instagram,

(02:17):
and you can go onto my website. There will also
be a blog of this conversation as well. So I'm
here to talk to you about this season that you're in,
but I want to give you a deeper definition of
what weight means. What is the waiting season? And so
I remember we talked about earlier about keeping your emotions

(02:40):
out of the mix, making sure because your emotions are
in the kabooz. Remember I presented the train in one
of my episodes, and so I remember ending that episode
with this particular scripture we're going to talk about today,
and that's Isaiah forty and thirty one. And I want
to go into more detail because it's going to explain
weight to you. It says that we I just want

(03:02):
to I made some notes, and I know you don't
like waiting. Nobody likes waiting. It's like we're always in
a hurry for things. We want quick prayers answer. We
want our prayers to answer quickly. Send me my mate today,
send me my answer now. God, I needed today when
we know that in scripture, Moses waited forty years in

(03:25):
the desert, Joseph thirteen years after being sold by his brothers.
And then I remember an experience where I was praying
and believe in God to make a change in my
life and my marriage, and it took fifteen years. But
I found out something about the fifteen years. It wasn't
about the change I was praying for God to make.

(03:47):
It was the change He made in me. And so
I want to talk to you more about what why
the wait season, why you have to wait, why the
waiting is important. In book one of the Catch series,
The Catching of One one, the character of Veronica didn't

(04:08):
want to wait. She had set a goal to be
married by thirty She's now thirty two, completed her college goal,
got her career going, and she felt like marriag should
have been done two years prior to this time that
we're reading about her. So she rushed. She began rushing
through men very quickly, with no regard with their characteristics

(04:31):
and their qualities, nothing, just looking at quickly at conditions,
but making a decision that this is what I'm going
to ate now. But I know people practice that even now.
They practiced that kind of dating method where they're going
through the process very quickly, And so that's what happened
in book one, and then the father had to set

(04:52):
her aside and give her some tools at the end
of the series, at the end of the story to
help her to really focus on herself in that season,
because it can be very dangerous what she was doing.
So the problem with this season is we do not
like to wait. We want to hurry up get through it.
But It reminds me of a survey I did with

(05:14):
a few Christian men in order to write book number three,
the Blue Book, which is the wrong catch, She'll tear
down the house. I surveyed some Christian men and wanted
to know what were their experiences when dating. They told
me about problems they experienced. And this is with Christian women,
it said. And it was unbelievable to me how women

(05:35):
acted and women of faith. And one guy said, please
write about the microwave woman. And I was thinking to myself,
what in the world is a microwave woman? And it
turns out as a woman that believes everything she cooks
has to go in the microwave. She doesn't know how
to cook, it doesn't know how to prepare meals. But
the microwave also represents being in a hurry. We want

(05:57):
a microwave husband, We want a microwave. We want to
get married quickly. And I'm telling you my message is
about establishing a lifelong relationship with marriage with the one
that God has for you. But we moved through this
process so quickly. We're in a hurry, and it cannot
be a microwave. And God is not an atm machine.

(06:19):
For you to put in your request and expect to
receive something out right away. No, God has a design
for all of us. He had that design for Moses,
he had a design for Jacob. The whole process required
a weight season. So this is called the weight season.

(06:40):
Waiit the weight season. It's a process. People talk about
the process and pain and purposese purpose, all of those,
piece all of it. But let's talk about the weight
and let me explain something. Weight season isn't about sitting
around and twiddling your thumb. Everything we've talked about required

(07:01):
that you put in some work, required that you do
something for yourself. Isn't that what it requires for our
walk spiritually? We have to make sure we're studying the Word,
applying his word to our lives, understanding what God's instructions
to us. We're working at being the best version of
ourselves as a believer in order to please God. So

(07:23):
we have to be obedient to what He teaches us.
So we're working at that all the time. We're cultivating
our relationship ship with Him. We're praying on a regular basis.
We're stopping to consider what God has to say about
something we're facing, and sometimes that means we have to
invite him. In my favorite scriptures Proverbs three and six,

(07:43):
in all thy ways acknowledge him. Acknowledged in the original
language means to invite in. When was the last time
you invited God into this process? And that's why I
said in the very beginning, do you believe you're wasting
your time? If you don't, but if you believe, you will,
make sure you put in the work. It's the same
thing that you would do if your goal is to

(08:05):
get a particular career, a job going, you put in
the work you prepare. It's the same for marriage. I
don't know why we think God is supposed to hand
us a husband on a silver platter, or hand you
a wife that fits you perfectly on a silver platter,
without you not putting in any work. Come on, fellas,
you have work to do too. So. In the English definition,

(08:28):
the word weight means to sit around and a wait
or weight on or expect something to happen at some point. Well,
come on, now, I'm not going to sit around and
expect something to happen at some point. In other words,
it could happen or it cannot happen. That's the Webster definition.
Of weight. But let's look at the definition. According to

(08:51):
Isaiah thirty one, it says that they that weight upon
the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up
with wings as eagles. They should run and not get weary.
They should walk and not faint. So let's break this down.
This is the definition of our weight season. I remember

(09:12):
what I call it weight training. Once when I had
to preach on about Isaiah forty and thirty one, I
had to bring a message about it, and I tied
it and entitled the message weight training. This is where
you are. You're in weight training. You can call it
your weight season, but I called it weight training. Wai

(09:33):
t all caps, not wait as in we i ght,
but weight training. God is preparing you, and he's training
you and getting you ready. You have to believe that
there's a reason Moses had to wait, there was a
reason Joseph had to wait, and so many others. There's
a reason why you're in your weight season. But Isaiah

(09:55):
forty and thirty one tells us breaks it down a
little more for us. In the message, I said that
remember there things. There were times as a child growing
up or a young person growing up, when you were
asked for something, or ask permission to do or go somewhere,
and your parents will respond, or a parent would respond,

(10:16):
you're not old enough, give it a little time, wait
until you're older, then you can do blah blah blah.
They would say something like that. In other words, they
were trying to tell you you weren't ready for that
whatever it is you were asking for or getting permission
for it in that moment. Sometimes God is saying the
same thing to you. You want to be married right now,

(10:39):
you want to meet him today, and God is saying
to you, wait, it's not time left. Wait until you
get wait, wait, wait, get your weight training first. And
so here in lies the message that I gave that day.
But I remember we talked about believing and what God said,

(11:01):
and standing on what you believe until the answer comes,
no matter what it looks like, because look, the enemy's
good at presenting a picture that looks like is never
going to change and never ever going to happen. All
of that, it's your faith that makes you believe and
stand on it no matter what happens, because they that
come to God must believe that He is and that

(11:23):
He is a rewarder of them. Who diligently seek him.
Remember we talked about believing, standing on faith. That's the weight.
Now let's break down the scripture, and this is the
scripture in Isaiah forty thirty one. In the original Hebrew definition,
here's what the word weight means, wait they that wait

(11:47):
on the Lord. In the original language, that word weight
means to take long strands and tie them, wrap them
and intertwine them and twist them all together. That's what
weight means. Take long strands, tie them, wrap them and
intertwine them and twist them all together. And the word following,

(12:12):
they shall renew their strength. And here's the definition. In
the original language, the word renew means grow up. So
now let's reread our scripture. It says, with the original definitions,
they that take long strands and tie them and wrap

(12:33):
them and intertwine them and twist them all together shall
grow up in strength. So guess what your weight training
is all about is helping you to grow up. But
how do you do that? You're active, taking long strands,
tying them, wrapping them and intertwining them and twisting them
all together. If this doesn't make you think about the

(12:56):
threefold chord that I don't know how else to explain
it to you, because the cord is wrapped and twisted
so you can't break it. And here you are in
your weight season, taking chords, wrapping them, tying them, intertwining them,
and twisting them together as you grow up in strength.

(13:16):
So let's explain this further. Take the muscles for instance.
Muscles are long strands. This means that while you're why,
you wait on God and it's expecting him to do
something regarding your requests to build and grow. Here's what's
happening in your preparation. What are you doing to get

(13:40):
yourself ready. You're getting strands of faith, You're getting strands
of prayer, what you learn to apply in the Word,
what you're learning about those things you have to let go,
believing what God's Word says, letting go and releasing what
you can't carry, change what you need to change, confessing

(14:02):
what you need to confess, admitting your downfalls, and admitting
what you need to admit to God. Building strands from
studying the Word, taking strands by going to church Sunday school.
Adding another strand as you go to Bible study or
sit and study the Word, add a strand while you
sit in worship and are in prayer, adding another strand

(14:25):
while you go to worship, and then taking them all
and there may be more, but taking them all and
wrapping them and twisting them in this season because as
a result, your cord is being built and stronger. As
you twist them and bind them together. You're building your
strong cord and believing until your answer come. In your weight,

(14:47):
he's helping you to get stronger. You're growing up, I
call it. You're not in high school anymore. Growing up.
And this is not like ordering Starbucks where I order
at one and turn the corner and pick up my order.
This is not ordering from them. But this experience, this

(15:08):
weight training, this weight season you're experiencing, will increase your
level of faith, cause you to grow stronger in your
prayer life, stronger in your worship because you've weave those cords.
And when you're done in this season, you're going to
be grown up. You're going to be stronger, just like

(15:30):
the strands of the muscles to those to build strands
and muscles die. But when you work out, you're building
more strands, helping the core of your body to get stronger.
And so that's the whole idea of your building strands
during your web seasons. It's like building muscles, so you
can grow up old taste and see that the Lord

(15:52):
is good. Taste needs to experience it for yourself. But
oh my goodness, you can't know this season until you've
gone through this season yourself. So just like building, the
muscles are made up of thousands of fibers and strands.
Those fibers and strands die over time, and so you

(16:14):
have to build new ones. Guess what's happening in your
weight season. You're building a strand, you're building a cord,
you're growing up, you're building strength. So now you know
what happens. Then they that weigh upon the Lord shall
renew your strength. And what's really happening. They that weighed

(16:34):
upon the Lord. They that take long strands and tie them,
wrap them and intertwine them and twist them all together.
They shall renew their strength, which means they shall grow up.
I hope you love this segment. I was excited about
this particular word. Remember, this is not a worthless season.

(16:56):
This is a weight season. This is not a season
that wait your time. No, this is worth waiting for
because on the other side of it is you that's
changing so that you're ready for the man that God
has for you, and fellas it goes for you too.
It's no different for you. You're in a wait season two.

(17:17):
Stop trying to rush in and find someone that you
want to pick up quickly. No, that would be devastating.
Just read the stories in book three based on my
conversations with the guys I spoke with, and weave those
stories in those women and characters based on what they said.
Read that book. It really would help you. You can

(17:39):
get any one of my books in the series on Amazon,
or you can go to my website, Doctorvelma dot com.
You can get it in a bundle Doctorvelma dot com.
It's available in a bundle at my website. But if
you want to get an individual book, you're the guys
and you want to go straight to book number three,
do that. It was created just for you based on
the reader the male readers that I have. So I

(18:02):
just want to say thank you and then for all
of you the Book of Fools. Knowing how to recognize
fools and foolish behavior both male and female. God has
given us eighty scriptures at over two hundred scriptures references,
but I have eighty in the book. You'll be surprised
what it's going to show you. It benefits any kind
of relationship, friendships as well as business partnerships. The Book

(18:26):
of Fools is something important for you to see. You
can follow me on any one of the platforms that
this is airing on, so feel free to subscribe to
my YouTube page, subscribe to my website, and feel free
to follow me on my Facebook page as doctor Velma, Instagram,
doctor Velma Bagby. I'm on all the platforms as well

(18:47):
as LinkedIn. It airs live on LinkedIn as well, so
please check it out and I look forward to hearing
your comments. I look forward to hearing your progress. I
look forward to you telling me I really appreciated what
she said. So thank you all, and again, this is
doctor Velma Bagbee on Doctor Velma Talks, episode number ten.
Take care all,