Episode 19 — The Carpathian Approach

The team nears Dracula’s homeland; tension and dread build.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
H Media presents Bram Stoker's Dracula adapted for audio, first
of October five am. I went with the party to
the search with an easy mind, for I think I
never saw meanas absolutely strong and well. I'm so glad
that she consented to hold back and let us men

(00:21):
do the work. Somehow, it was a dread to me
that she was in this fearful business at all. But
now that her work is done, and that it is
due to her energy, brains and foresight that the whole
story is put together in such a way that every
point tells, she may well feel that her part is
finished and that she can henceforth leave the rest of us.

(00:45):
We were, I think a little upset by the scene
with mister Renfield when we came away from his room.
We were silent till we got back to the study,
and mister Morris said to doctor Seward, say, Jack, that
man wasn't a empting a bluff. He's about the sanest
lunatic I ever saw. I'm not sure, but I believe

(01:06):
that he had some serious purpose, and if he had it,
it was pretty rough on him not to get a chance.
Lord Godalming and I were silent, but Dr Van Helsing added,
friend John, you know more of lunatics than I do,
and I'm glad of it by fear. And if it
had been me to decide, I would, before that last

(01:26):
hysterical outburst have given him free. But we live and learn,
and in our present task we must take no chance.
As my friend Quincy would say, all his best as
they are. Doctor Seward seemed to answer them both in
a dreamy kind of way. I don't know, but that

(01:47):
I agree with you. If that man had been an
ordinary lunatic, I would have taken my chance of trusting him.
But he seemed so mixed up with account in an
indexy kind of way, that I'm afraid of doing anything
wrong by helping his fads. I can't forget how he
prayed with almost equal fervor for a cat and then

(02:08):
tried to tear my throat out with his teeth. Besides,
he called the count lord and master, and he may
want to get out to help him in some diabolical way.
The horrid thing is the wolves and the rats and
his own kind to help. So I suppose he isn't
above trying to use a respectable lunaty. He certainly seemed

(02:29):
to be in earnest, though I only hope we have
done what is best. These things, in conjunction with the
wild work we have in hand, helped to unnerve a man.
The Professor stepped over, and, laying his hand on his shoulder, said,
in his grave, kindly way, friend John, have no fear.

(02:49):
We are trying to do our duty in a very
sad and terrible case. We can only do as we
deem best. What else have we to hope for except
the pity of the good god Lord Godald being has
slipped away for a few minutes. But now he returned.
He held up a little silver whistle as he remarked
that old place may be full of rats, and if so,

(03:12):
I've got an antidote on call. Having passed the wall,
we took our way into the house, taking care to
keep in the shadows of the trees on the lawn
when the moonlight shone out. When we got to the porch,
Professor opened his bag and took out a lot of things,
which he laid on the step, sorting them into four

(03:33):
little groups, evidently one for each. Then he spoke, my friends,
we are going into a terrible danger, and we need
the arms of many kinds. Our enemy is not merely spiritual.
Remember that he has the strength of twenty men. Though
our necks and our windpipes are of the common kind

(03:54):
and therefore breakable or crushable, his are not amenable to
mere strength. The stronger man, or body of men more
strong in all of him, can at certain times hold
him that, but they cannot hurt him, as we can
be hurt by him. We must therefore guard ourselves from
his touch. Keep this near your heart. As he spoke,

(04:18):
he lifted a little silver crucifix and held it out
to me. I, being nearest to him, put these flowers
round him neck. And he handed me a wreath of
withered garlic blossoms. For other enemies more mundane, this revolver,
and this knife, and for aid in all these so
small electric lamps, as you can fasther to your breast,

(04:41):
And for all and above and all the last, this
which we must not desecrate. Needless, it was a portion
of a sacred wafer, which he put in an envelope
and handed to me. Each of the others was similarly equipped. Now,
he said, friend John, where are the skeleton keys? So
that we can open the door. We need not break

(05:02):
house by the window as before at Miss Lucy's. Doctor
Seward tried one or two skeleton keys, his mechanical dexterity
as a surgeon, standing him in good stead. Presently he
got one to suit. After a little playback and forward,
the bolt yielded with a rusty clang. He shot back.

(05:24):
We pressed from the door. The rusty hinges creaked, and
it slowly open. It was startlingly like the image conveyed
to me in Dtor Sue's Dorry of the opening of
Miss Westerner's tomb. I fancy that the same idea seemed
to strike the others, for with one accord they shrank back.

(05:45):
Professor was the first to move and stepped into the door.
In manners to us dominate, he said, crossing himself as
he passed over the threshold. We closed the door behind us,
lest when we should have lit our lamps, we should
possibly attract attention from the road. The Professor carefully tried

(06:05):
the lock, lest we might not be able to open
it from within, should we be in a hurry making
our exit. Then we all lit our lamps and proceeded
on our search. The light from the tiny lamps fell
on all sorts of odd forms as the rays crossed
each other, or the opacity of our bodies through great shadows.

(06:28):
I could not for my life get away from the
feeling there was someone else amongst us. I suppose it
was the recollection so powerfully brought home to me by
the grim surroundings of that terrible experience in Transylvania. I
think the feeling was common to us all, for I
noticed that the others kept looking over their shoulders at
every sound and every new shadow, just as I felt

(06:50):
myself doing. The whole place was thick with dust. The
floor was seemingly inches deep, except where there were recent foots,
in which, on holding down my lamp, I could see
the marks of hobnails where the dust was cracked. The
walls were fluffy and heavy with dust. In the corners

(07:13):
were masses of spiders webs, whereupon the dust had gathered
till they looked like old tattered rags, as the weight
of them had torn them partly down. On a table
in the hall was a great bunch of tees, this
time yellowed label on each they'd been used several times.
On the table were several similar rents in the blanket

(07:35):
of dust similar to that exposed when the professor lifted them.
He turned to me and said, you know this place, Jonathan.
You've copied maps of it. You know at least more
than we do. Which is the way to the chapel.
I had an idea of its direction on my former visit,
I had not been able to get admission to it.

(07:56):
I led the way, and after a few wrong turnings,
found myselfpposite the low arched oken door ribbed with iron bands.
This is a spot, said the professor, as he turned
his lamp on a small map of the house copied
for a file of my original correspondence regarding the purchase.
With a little trouble, we found the key on the

(08:17):
bunch and opened the door. We were prepared for some unpleasantness.
As we were opening the door, a faint, melodorous air
seemed to exhale through the gaps. But none of us
ever expected such an odor. As we encountered. None of
the others had met the cow tall at close quarters,

(08:38):
and when I had seen him, he was either in
the fasting stage as it existed in his rooms, or
when he was gloated with fresh blood in a ruined building.
Open to the air. But here the place was small
and close, and the long issues had made the air
stagnant and foul. There was an ursy smell, as if

(08:59):
some dry miasthma, which came through the fowler air. But
as to the odor itself, how shall I describe it?
It was not alone that it was composed of all
the ills of mortality, and with the pungent, acrid smell
of blood. But it seemed as though corruption had become
itself corrupt. Fah, it sickens me to think of it.

(09:21):
Every breath exal by that monster seemed to have clung
to the place and intensified its loathsomeness. Under ordinary circumstances,
such a stench would have brought our enterprise to an end.
But this was no ordinary case. On the high and
terrible purpose in which we were involved gave us a

(09:41):
strength which rose above merely physical considerations. After the involuntary
shrinking consequent of the first nauseus width, we one and
all set about our work as though that loathsome place
were a garden of roses. We made an accurate examination

(10:03):
of the place, the professor saying, as we began, the
first thing is to see how many of the boxes
are left. We must then examine every hole and corner
and cranny, and see if we cannot get some clue
as to what has become of the rest. A glance
was sufficient to show how many remained, For the Earth's
chests were bulky and there was no mistaking them. There

(10:27):
were only twenty nine left out of the fifty. Once
I got a fright or seeing more, Godalming suddenly turn
and look out at the vaulted door into the dark
passage beyond. I looked too, and for an instant my
heart stood still somewhere looking out from the shadow, I

(10:47):
seemed to see the high lights of the Count's evil face,
the ridge of the nose, the red eyes, the red lips,
the awful power. It was only for a moment, for
as Lord Godalming said, I thought I saw a face,
but it was only the shadows, and resumed his inquiry.

(11:07):
I turned my lamp in the direction and stepped into
the passage. There was no sign of anyone, and as
there were no corners, no doors, no aperture of any kind,
but only the solid walls of the passage, there could
be no hiding place, even for him. I took it
that fear had helped imagination and said nothing. A few

(11:30):
minutes later I saw Morris suddenly step back from the
corner which he was examining. We all followed his movements
with our eyes, for undoubtedly some nervousness was growing on us,
and we saw a whole mass of phosphorence which twinkled
like the stars. We all instinctively drew back. The whole

(11:51):
place was becoming alive with rats. For a moment or
two we stood appalled, all the same LOLd Gollalming, who
were seemingly prepared for such an emergency, washing over to
the great iron bowed open door which doctor Seward had
described from the outside, which I had seen myself. He

(12:12):
turned the key in the lock, drew the huge box,
and swung the door open, And taking out his little
silver whistle from his pocket, he blew a low, shrill call.
It was answer from behind doctor Seward's house by the
yelping of dogs laughter. About a minute three terriers came
dashing around the corner of the house. Unconsciously, we had

(12:36):
all moved towards the door, and as we moved I
noticed that the dust had been much disturbed The boxes
which had been taken out had been brought this way.
But even in the minute that had elapsed, the number
of rats had vastly increased. They seemed to swarm over
the place all at once, till the lamp light shining

(12:57):
on their moving, dark bodies and glittering, baleful eyes made
the place look like a bank of earth set with fireflies.
The dogs dashed on, but at the threshold suddenly stopped
and snarled, and then, simultaneously, lifting their noses, began to
howl in the most lugubrious fashion. The rats were multiplying

(13:21):
in thousands, and we moved out. Lord Donalming lifted one
of the dogs, and, carrying him in, placed him on
the floor. The instant his feet touched the ground, he
seemed to recover his courage and rushed at his natural enemies.
They fled before him so vast that before he had
shaken the life out of a scare. The other dogs,

(13:42):
who had now been lifted in the same manner, had
but small prey ere. The whole mass had vanished with
their going. It seemed as if some evil presence had departed,
for the dogs frisked about and barked merrily as they
made sudden darts at their prostrate foes, turning them over
and over, and tossed them into the air with vicious shakes.

(14:04):
We all seemed to find our spirits rise. Whether it
was the purifying of the deadly atmosphere by the opening
of the chapel door, or the relief which we experienced
by finding ourselves in the open, I know not, But
most certainly the shadow of dread seemed to slip from
us like a robe, and the occasion of our coming

(14:25):
lost something of its grim significance. And we did not
slacken a wit in our resolution. We closed the outer
door and barred and locked it, and bringing the dogs
with us, began our search of the house. We found
nothing throughout except dust in extraordinary proportions, and all untouched

(14:47):
save for my own footsteps when I had made my
first visit. Never once did the dogs exhibit any symptom
of uneasiness, and even when we returned to the chapel,
they frisked about as though they had been rabbit hunting
in a summer wood. The morning was quickening in the east,
and when we emerged from the front, Doctor van Helsin

(15:08):
had taken the key of the hall door from the
bunch locked the door in orthodox fashion, putting the key
into his pocket. When he had done so far, he said,
our night has been eminently successful. No harm has come
to us, such as I feared might be. And yet
we have ascertained how many boxes are missing, more than all.

(15:31):
I do rejoice that this are first and perhaps the
most difficult and dangerous step has been accomplished without the
bringing therein too, of our most sweet Madam Mina, or
troubling her waking or sleeping thoughts with sights and sounds
and smells of horror which she might never forget. One

(15:52):
lesson two. We have learned, if it be allowable to
argue a particularly, that the brute beasts which are to
the Count's command are yet themselves not amenable to his
spirit power. For look the rats that would have come
to his call, just as from his castle top he
summoned the walls to your going. Until that poor mothers cry,

(16:14):
though they come to him, they run pell mouth from
the little dogs of my friend Arthur. We have other
matters before us, other dangers, other fears, And that monster
he has not used his power over the brute world
for only the last time to night. So be it
that he has gone elsewhere. Good. It has given us

(16:34):
an opportunity to cry check in some ways in this
chest game which we play for the sake of human souls.
Now let us go home. The door on is close
at hand. We have reason to be content with our
first night's work. It may be ordained that we have
many nights and days to follow if full of peril.

(16:55):
But we must go on, and from no danger shall
we shrink. The house was silent when we got back,
save for some poor creature who was screaming away in
one of the distant wards, and a low moaning sound
from renfield to room. The poor wretch was doubtless torturing

(17:16):
himself after the manner of the insane, with needless thoughts
of pain. I came tiptoe into our own room and
found Miner asleep, breathing so softly that I had to
put my ear down to hear it. She looks paler
than usual. I hope the meeting to night is not

(17:37):
upset her. I am truly thankful she is to be
left out of our future work, and even of our deliberations.
It's too great a strain for a woman to bear.
I did not think so at first, but I know
better now. Therefore I am glad that it is settled,
and made these things which would frighten her to hear,

(17:58):
and yet to conceal them from her might be worse
than to tell her if once she suspected that there
was any concealment. Henceforth, our work is to be a
sealed book to her, so at least such times as
we can tell her that all is finished and the
earth free from a monster of the never world. I
dare say it would be difficult to begin to keep

(18:20):
silence after such confidence as ours. But I must be resolute,
and tomorrow I shall keep dark over tonight's doings, and
so refuse to speak of anything that has happened. I
rest on the sofa so as not to disturb her.
First to October later. I suppose it was natural that

(18:41):
we should all have overslept ourselves, for the day was
a busy one, and the knight had no rest at all.
Even Mina must have felt its exhaustion. Although I slept
all the sun was high. I was awake before her
and had to call two or three times before she awoke. Indeed,
she was so sound asleep that for a few seconds

(19:03):
she did not recognize me, but looked at me with
a sort of blank terror, as one looks who has
been waked out of a bad dream. She complained her
as were being tired. I let her rest or later
in the day. We know now of twenty one box
as having been removed, and if it be that several
were taken in any of these removals, we may be

(19:25):
able to trace them all. Such will, of course, immensely
simplify our labor, and the sooner the matter is attended to,
the better. I shall look up Tollis Snelling to day
dtor Seward's diary, first of October. It was towards noon
when I was awakened by the Professor walking into my room.

(19:47):
He was more jolly and cheerful than usual, and it
is quite evident that last night's work has helped to
take some of the brooding weight off his mind. After
going over the adventure of the night, he suddenly said,
patient interests me much. May it be that with you
I visit him this morning, or if that you are
too occupy, I can go alone. If it may be

(20:11):
it is a new experience to me to find a
lunatic the talk philosophy and reason so sound. I had
some work to do, which pressed So I told him
that if he would go alone, I would be glad,
as then I should not have to keep him waiting.
So I called an attendant and gave him the necessary instructions.

(20:33):
Before the professor left the room, I cautioned him against
getting any false impression from my patient. I want him
to talk of himself and of his delusion as to
the consuming live things. He said to Madam Mina, as
I see in your diary of yesterday that he had
once had such a belief. Why do you smile, friend John,

(20:54):
Excuse me, I said, but the answer is here. I
laid my hand on the typewritten matter. When our sane
and learned lunative made that very statement of how he
used to consume life. His mouth was actually nauseous with
the flies and spiders which had just eaten before missus
Harker entered the room. Van Helsingk smiled in turn. Good,

(21:17):
He said, your memory is true, Friend John. I should
have remembered. And yet it is this very obliquity of
thought and memory which makes mental disease such a fascinating study.
Perhaps I may gain more knowledge out of the folly
of this madmen than I shall for the teaching of
the most wise. Who knows. I went on with my work,

(21:40):
and before long was through that in hand. It seemed
that time had been very short. Indeed, but there was
Van Helsing back in the study. Do I interrupt, you,
asked polite ins. He stood at the door, and at
all I answered, come in. My work is finished and
I am free. I can go with you now if
you like. It is needless. I have seen him well.

(22:03):
I fear that he does not appraise me at much.
I entered. He was short. When I entered his room.
He was sitting on a stool in the center, with
his elbows on his knees, and his face was the
picture of sullen discontent. I spoke to him as chiefly
as I could, in such a measure of respect as
I could assume. He made no reply whatever. And you

(22:26):
know me, I asked. His answer was not reassuring. I
know you well enough. You are the old fool Van Helsing.
I wish you would take yourself and your idiotic playing
theory somewhere else. Damn all sick headed Dutchman, And I
am worried more, would he say, but sat in his
implacable sullenness, as indifferent to me as though I had

(22:47):
not been in the room at all. Thus departed for
this time my chance of much learning from this, so
clever lunatic. So shall I go, if I may, and
cheer myself up with a few happy words for that
sweet soul madam mina friend John does rejoice me, unspeakable
that she is no more to be pained, no more

(23:08):
to be worried with our terrible things, and we shall
miss her help. It is better, so I agree with
you with all my heart. No answered, ernesty, I did
not want him to weaken in this matter. Missus Harker
is best out of it. Things are quite bad enough
for us, all men of the world, and who have
been in many type places in our time. But this

(23:30):
is no place for a woman. And if she has
remained in touch with the affair, it would in time
infallibly have wrecked her. So Van Helsing has gone to
confer with Missus Harker, and Harker, Quincy and Art are
all out following up the clues as to the earth boxes.
I shall finish my round of work, and we shall

(23:50):
meet tonight. Mina Harker's journal, first of October. It is
strange for me to be kept in the dark today,
after Jonathan's full confidence, so many years, to see him
manifestly avoid certain manners, and those the most vital of all.

(24:11):
This morning, I slept late after the fatigues of yesterday,
and though Jonathan was late too, he was earlier. He
spoke to me before he went out, ever more sweetly
or tenderly. I never mentioned a word of what had
happened in the visit to the Count's house. Yet he
must have known how terribly anxious I was, poor dear fellow.

(24:32):
I suppose it mustn't distressed him even more than it
did me. They all agreed that it was best that
I should not be drawn further into this work, and
I acquiesced. But to think that he keeps anything from me,
and now I'm crying like a silly fool. And I
know it comes from my husband's great love, and from
the good, good wishes of those other strong men thou

(24:55):
hast done me good well. Someday Jonathan would tell me all,
and lest it should be that he should think for
a moment that I kept anything from him I still
keep my journal as usual. Then if he has feared
of my trust, I shall show it to him with
every thought of my heart, put down for his dear
eyes to read. Feel strangely sad and low spirited today.

(25:16):
I suppose it's a reaction from the terrible excitement last night.
I went to bed when the men had gone, simply
because they've told me to. Did it feel sleepy? I
didn't feel full of deviring anxiety. I kept thinking over
everything that has been ever since Jonathan came to see
me in London, and it all seems like a horrible tragedy,

(25:40):
with fate pressing on relentlessly to some destined end. Everything
that one does seems to, no matter how right it
may be, bring on the very thing which is the
most to be deplored. If I hadn't gone to Whitby,
perhaps poor Dediasy would still be with us now. She
hadn't taken to visiting the church until I came. If

(26:00):
she hadn't come there in the daytime with me, she
wouldn't have walked there in her sleep. If she hadn't
gone there at night and asleep, that monster couldn't have
destroyed her as he did, Oh, why did I ever
go to Whitby? There? Now crying again? I wonder what
has come over me. I must hide it from Jonathan.
But if you knew that I do crying twice in

(26:22):
one morning, I, who never cried on my own account,
and whom it is, never caused to shed a tear,
the dear fellow would fret his heart out. We shall
put on a bold face. I do feel weepy. He
shall never hear. I suppose it's one of the lessons
that we poor women have to learn. Can't quite remember

(26:43):
how I fell asleep last night. I remember hearing a
sudden barking of dogs, and a lot of queer sounds,
like preying on a very tumultuous scale, from mister Renfield's room,
which was somewhere under this. And there was silence over everything, silent,
so profound that it startled me. I got up and

(27:03):
looked out of the window. All was dark and silent,
the black shadows thrown by the moonlight, seeming full of
a silent mystery of their own, and a thing seemed
to be stirring, but all to be grim and fixed
as death or fate, so that in a thin streak
of white mist that crept with almost imperceptible slowness across

(27:25):
the grass towards the house. Seemed to have a sentience
and a vitality of its own. I think that the
digression of my thoughts must have done me good, for
when I got back to bed, I found a lethargy
creeping over me. I lay awhile, but could not quite sleep,
so I got up and looked out of the window again.

(27:48):
The mist was spreading. I was now close up to
the house, so I could see it lying thick against
the wall, as so it was stealing up to the windows.
Poor man was more loud than ever, and though I
could not distinguish a word he said, I could in
some way recognize his tones, some passionate entreaty on his part.

(28:09):
Then there was the sound of a struggle. I knew
that the attendants were dealing with him. I was so
frin that I crept into bed and pulled the clothes
up over my head, bringing my fingers in my ears.
I was not then a bit sleepy, at least I thought,
but I must have fallen asleep, for except dreams, I
didn't remember anything until morning, when Jonathan woke me. I

(28:32):
think that it took me an effort and a little
time to realize where I was, and that it was
Jonathan who was bending over me. My dream is very peculiar.
It was almost typical of the way that waking thoughts
become merged in or continued in dreams. I lay awhile,
but could not quite sleep, so I got out and

(28:54):
looked out of the window again. The mist was spreading
and was now close up to the house, so that
I could see it lying thick against the wall. As
I was stealing up to the windows. The poor man
was more loud than ever, and though I could not
distinguish a word he said, I could in some way
recognize his tones, some passionate entreaty on his part. Then

(29:19):
there was a sound of a struggle, and I knew
that the attendants were dealing with him. I was so
frightened that I crept into bed and pulled the clothes
over my head, put in my fingers in my ears.
I was not then a bit sleepy, at least so
I thought, But I must have fallen asleep except the dream.

(29:40):
Do not remember anything until the morning when Jonathan woke me.
I think that it took me an effort, and quite
a little time to realize where I was, and that
it was Johnathon who was bending over me. A dream
was very peculiar, almost typical of the way that walking
thoughts become merged in all continued in dreams. I thought

(30:03):
that I was asleep and waiting for Jonathan to come back.
I was very anxious about him, and I was powerless
to act. My feet in my hands, my brain were
weighted so that nothing could proceed at the usual pace,
and so I slept uneasily in thought. Then it began
to dawn upon me that the air was heavy and

(30:24):
dank and cold. I put back the clothes from my face,
and found, to my surprise that all was dim around.
The gas light, which I had left lit for Jonathan
but turned down, came only like a tiny red spark
through the fog, which had evidently run thicker and poured
into the room. Then it occurred to me that I

(30:46):
had shut the window before I come to bed. I
would have got out to make certain on the point,
but some leaden lethargy seemed to chain my limbs, leaven
my will. I lay still and endured that was all.
I closed my eyes, but could still see through my eyelids.
It is wonderful what tricks our dreams play, and how

(31:09):
conveniently we can imagine. The mists grew thicker and thicker.
I could see now how it came in, For I
could see it like a smoke out of the white
energy of boiling water, pouring in not through the window,
but through the jointings of the door. And it got
thicker and thicker. So it seemed as if it became

(31:30):
concentrated into a sort of pillar of cloud in the room,
through the top of which I could see a light
of the gas shining like a red eye. And things
began to whirl through my brain, just as the cloudy
column was now whirling in the room, And through it
all came the scriptural words, a pillar of cloud by

(31:52):
day and a fire by night. Was it indeed some
spiritual guidance? It was coming to me in my sleep hill.
It was composed of both the day and the night guiding,
for the fire was in the red eye. At the
thought got a new fascination for me, till as I
looked at the fire divided, and it seemed to shine

(32:13):
on me through the fog like two red eyes, just
as Lucy told me in her momentary mental wandering, when
on the cliff the dying sunlight struck the windows of
Saint Mary's Church, Suddenly the horror burst upon me that
it was thus that Jonathan had seen those awful women
growing into reality through the whirling mist of the moonlight.

(32:36):
And in my dream I must have fainted, for all
became black darkness. The last conscious effort which imagination made
was to show me a livid white face bending over
me out of the mist. I must be careful of
such dreams, for they would unseek one's reason. If there
were too much of them, I would get Doctor van

(32:57):
Housing or Doctor Seward to prescribe something which would make
me sleep, Only that I fear to alarm them. Such
a dream at the present time would become woven into
their fears for me. To night, I shall strive hard
to sleep, naturally I do not. I shall tomorrow night
get them to give me a dose atle or that

(33:19):
cannot hurt me for once, and it will give me
a good night's sleep. Last night tired me more than
if I had not slept at all. Second of October,
ten pm. Last night I slept, but did not dream.
I must have slept only, for I was not wake
by Jonathan coming to bed. The sleep had not refreshed me.

(33:43):
For today I feel terribly weak and spiritless. I spent
all yesterday trying to read or lying down dozing. In
the afternoon, mister Renfield asked if he might see me,
poor man. He was very gentle, and when I came away,
he kissed me hand and bade God bless me. Some
way had affected me much. I'm crying when I think

(34:06):
of him. This is a new weakness at which I
must be careful. Jolathon would be miserable if he knew
I'd been crying. He and the others were out till
dinner time, and they all came in tired. I did
what I could to brighten them up. I suppose that
the effort did me good, for I forgot how tired
I was. After dinner, they sent me to bed and

(34:28):
all went off to smoke together, as they said, but
I knew that they wanted to tell each other what
had occurred to each during the day. I could see
from Jonathan's manner that he had something important to communicate.
I was not so sleepy as I should have been
so before they went. I asked Doctor Seal to give
me a little lopioate of some kind, as I had

(34:49):
not slept well the night before. Very kindly made me
up a sleeping draft, which he gave to me, telling
me that it would do me no harm, as it
was very much. I have taken it, and I am
waiting for sleep, which still keeps aloop. I hope I
have not done wrong. For a sleep begins to flirt

(35:11):
with me. A new fear comes that I may have
been foolish in thus depriving myself of the power of
waking I might want it. Here comes sleep, Good night.
End of Chapter nineteen.