August 2, 2025 • 28 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
I have fab say.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
How about should that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
You all remember Metro Golden Mare's famous Mazie pictures. In
just a moment, you will hear Maizie in radios darring,
the same glamorous star you all went to see and
loved on the screen.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
And Southern.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
But first you're an aouncer, and now here's Anne Southern
(01:27):
as Mazie.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yep, I'm mazy, like the fella said by profession. I'm
in the theater. But I just quit my job as
a showgirl because of the costumes. The producer wanted me
to show too much girl anyway, hanging around theatrical agents'
offices as much as I do, some of how they
function is rubbed off on me. So I figured maybe
I'd better try that way a starving too. So last month,
(01:51):
by luck, I ran into a handsome actor, Bill Maddox,
who I thought had possibilities. I really thought Bill could
become a star on the stage because he had good
looks for six feet two and had the schmaltz he kindess,
the speaking voice that could give you goose pimples. The
only thing Bill lacked was stage experience, so right away
I took him to see the latest hit drama. I
(02:13):
wanted Bill should get a load of how matinee Idle
Number one Ronaldo Gomez performed, so as he could maybe
learn a little something before I started lying about him
the producers. But after we saw the great Ronaldo's performance
and were coming out of the theater, me and Bill
had our first argument.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Bah, you call that acting, Maisie, I call it corn.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
For your information, Bill Maddox, that corn brings Rinaldo Gomez
five thousand dollars a bushel. You should act such.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Corn, not me, Honey.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I'm young, yet I'd like to live why I've got
more talent my little finger than Gomez has in his
whole body.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Two bad women are interested in little fingers. They go
for the whole man. If you could learn just half
of what Ronaldo knows about acting, I can tell you
to any producer.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
Mazie, don't tell me that you thought that love scene
and the second act was good good.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
When Ronaldo gave Carl out of that passionate farewell kissed
my popcorn started shooting its way out of the bag.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
Oh, you women are all the same about these imported
great lovers. Personally to me, Ronaldo kissed the girl like
he was playing a harmonica.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Hmm, should happen to me? All right, Bill, you're my client,
and even though you are an actor, you can still
have brains. What didn't you like about Ronaldo's performance?
Speaker 5 (03:35):
What about his overacting?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Overacting? Why? I thought it was just super I mean,
especially in the death scene, how gladly he gave up
his life for love, and then when he was shot
he died laughing.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
So did the audience.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Ah, Bail, you're just like all men, never give credit
where credit is due.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Oh well, look, miss Revere, if you don't think enough
of my opinions, maybe I should get somebody else to
keep me unemployed.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh no, no, Bill, I have absolute confidence that you
can someday be a big star. And I know that
if you listen to my ad bite, someday you'll have
convertible cars, a yacht, tenthouse, apartment, and so much money
you'll get bowl legged carrying it to the bank. Oh god, Yeah,
we're going to be the most successful artist agent team
(04:22):
in the world. Bill, geez, you know this million dollar
team should celebrate in style.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Yeah, celebrate what Mazie, that costs money?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Ah, what's money?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Come on, where are we going?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And if this drugs, don't have a coke?
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Gee a coke? Maybe you let me drink it out
of your slipper.
Speaker 6 (04:53):
Nobody says this to the Great Ronaldo Gomes, not even you.
You will pardon me expression play. But the Great Ronaldo
was not superb in tonight's performance. Well look, Ronaldo, let's
not get ourselves.
Speaker 7 (05:06):
You've been getting away with that public nervous breakdown you
call acting for a long time now, but the public
is starting to get wide.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's so.
Speaker 7 (05:13):
Did you see how many empty seats there were tonight?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Empty seats?
Speaker 6 (05:17):
You want I should notice during my performance, the Great
ronal those artists when I am acting, I'm acting.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Not bookkeeping.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Well I'm bookkeeping. There were two hundred and twenty eight
empty seats, two hundred and twenty seven in the twelfth
row of the balcony. There was immediate No wonder, you
have to be prompted on your lines. You're always counting
the house during the performance to make sure you're not
cheated on your percenting. You cannot say that to the
Great Gomez. The Great Commas is the greatest artist in
(05:44):
the whole world.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Yeah, who told you that?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Nobody has to tell me. I admit it.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
Since you're so honest, you've got to admit that you're
not drawing them in like you used to. After all,
don't forget the famous saying. You can pull some of
the people some of the time, and you can pool
all of the people some of the time. I said that,
I said, Oh said that, Abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
It's too bad he isn't leaving. I would challenge him
to a duel like I did in my own country. Now,
please handle me my hat.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Oh sure, Ronaldo here, you're going right home.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I hope No.
Speaker 6 (06:18):
First I go to the drug store next door to
make a porch of one stamp. My friend in Brasili
should send me the newspaper clipping about the duel I
have made with that critic. There is one thing I
must find out.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
You mean, if he died, No, if he spelled my
name right.
Speaker 8 (06:44):
We're closing the store up in a few minutes, folks.
You want another coke?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, that's silly, clerk. Me and Bill haven't finished this
one yet.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Yeah, you see, my agent here don't usually order a
coke for the two of us. But tonight we're celebrating.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Oh oh sure, I just knew this was some festive
a case.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
That's right, That's why I ordered a large one.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
But you can be a pal pal and bring another straw.
Speaker 8 (07:06):
Another white cho I'm expecting a friend to join you.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
No, I want to beat out my brains with signing
up with her for my agent.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Why. Bill, that's a nasty thing to say. I raised
your price as an actor, didn't I?
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Oh, that you did, But you didn't get me any work.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I know. But I have faith in you, Bill. I
know you've got talent.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
But Mazie, I've heard rumors that the thing is for
the producers to become aware of me.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
But it's a wonderful idea.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
I said something when I wasn't listening.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, what you need is publicity, and I'm gonna get
it for you. I'll have your name and headlines in
all the papers.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
But to do that, you gotta have connections with newspapers.
Do you know any reporters or editors?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Mazie, Oh, do I know any reporters reditors? Do I
know any reports?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
A ditors? Well?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Do you please don't interrupt. I'm trying to remember.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Well, why you're trying to remember? I gotta call my
boarding house to see if any office came in from
other agents? What dal e got a nickel for the phone?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Sure? Dal here, I always saved some money for emergency.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Thanks, be right.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Back at once.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
Uh oh, my day is now complete. Here comes that
South American meathead, Rinaldo Gomez.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Again, Rinaldo Gome. Yeah, oh, he looks like such a
skinny thing in person. What happened all those muscles.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
Must have left them in his other suit.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Oh what a pest.
Speaker 8 (08:38):
It's always coming in here just before closing and buys
himself a dimes. Were the nickels for a phone call?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Mark, I'm here at once? They're great? Ronaldo, I would
like to purchase.
Speaker 8 (08:48):
The stop oh stamp. Well, it's a good thing I
didn't close up earlier. I would have missed out on
all this business. Pardon me, customer mind can't keep Ronaldo
a waiting gets as mad as a hornet, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Oh well, all act is a temperamental.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Not like Ronaldo.
Speaker 8 (09:06):
Chim with him, it's ninety percent temper and ten percent mental.
If I don't give him quick service with a smile,
he gets so mad, He challenges me to a duel.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
A duel, duel, duel, You've just given me a great
publicity idea. Huh, Bill told me he studied swordsmanship at college.
Speaker 8 (09:27):
Oh, a smart move on your boyfriend's part, Lady. Sure
is a great market for a guy who can use
a sword. Might even get himself a job in the
park's picking up papers.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
But no, I mean if Bill and he would duel
it had getting all the papers.
Speaker 8 (09:39):
Yeah, could be and maybe Ronaldo would get chilled. Say
that's a beautiful thought.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Curse. Those dueling characters first have to be insulted by
a fella. And ain't it usually over a woman?
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Don't please lord like a stamp?
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Yes, stop coming up, say miss way, you're gone.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Son, you just hired a new stamp saleswoman, the kind
that insults mot easy.
Speaker 8 (10:06):
Oh, I get it. Your boyfriend in the fears Gomez
challenges him to a duel, and.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Then for further details, consult your morning newspapers. Goodbye now,
so I've.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Never seen their best customer tool.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh well, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, mister Gomez.
What can I do for you?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh? You are here, to the clerk.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
They've been doing such a busy stamp business in this
drug store. They just had to put on extra health.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh good, I have in a lodge. Hurry one stamp please?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Oh well, yes, sir, you're lucky because we just got
in some fresh this morning. How about a nice airmail stamp, sir,
they're six cents.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
No, I want a plane stamp for three cents.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh you don't care to go that high. Well, how
about a nice five cents stamp?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
There, senor read all I want is for three cents
is stamp. I wish to write a letter, and I
am in a horror.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Oh well, in that case, our airmail is just the thing.
It gets that much faster. You know, all you do
is write a letter.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Let you are making me mad like anything. Do you
want me to lose my temple retirely?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Not just yet? You know it is better.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
No one three cent stamp? Please?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yes, what kind of stamp? American or Egyptian?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Please send me a stamp and stop being such a pest.
Speaker 7 (11:39):
Pest?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Well, I like that, I really do. I have never
been so unsolid in my life.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
Bill obill, great Ronaldo insult use Senorita, but this this
is cannot be in my country, the man who in
social Lady is shoot down like a dog.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Well say your prayers, Lassie. Yes, my hero, this beast,
this monster, he insulted me. Well, aren't you going to
say something to him?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Hello? Uh, Senor, you do not know me?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Eh not like I know you. Bill. This man doesn't
know me.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
He doesn't.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And he said I was a pest he did, yes.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
But Mazie, I thought you said he didn't know you.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Senor, I can explain no.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Bill. This is your big chance, your big, big chance. Bill,
I demand that you challenge this man to a duel.
Pistols at twenty paces.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
A duel pistols at twenty paces, Senorita, isn't this going
a little too far?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Well, all right, make a ten paces a mazy.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I think it's silly the challenge a perfect stranger to
a silly old duel. Don't mind her.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Mister a Gomez, Senor, the great and now the Gomez.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
You mean you?
Speaker 5 (12:53):
This little shrimp is what's left of that ham Gomez
after that stage costume is removed.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Oh no, and you're for that insult. I forget the
great danger and challenge you to a door.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Oh gosh, thanks you you're a sport.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Okay, Sonny, Sure, nice little duel.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
What would it be spitballs at twenty paces?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Wh you two decide? I got to make a phone call.
This is a scoop for both of us.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
You laugh now, Senor, But tomorrow morning, at sunrise, you
will laugh from the other side of your face. If
I decide to leave you another side, we shall fight
with pistols at twenty paces.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Oh calm now, Sonny, I was only kidding. Why at
twenty paces I couldn't even see a tiny.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Target like you.
Speaker 6 (13:39):
I may I'd be large like you, Senor, But with
the pistol and the best marksmen in all of South America.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
You're kidding? Are you? The last man I killed in
my own country said to me, just.
Speaker 9 (13:55):
Like that, you will actually kill the man dead like anything,
like an I shoot him right between the eyes, and
believe me, between that sneak's eyes, there was very little room.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Are there, Senor? Until tomorrow and dawn? Areio, Sennor?
Speaker 5 (14:15):
If I'm not there, just to go ahead without me?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Well it's all shut deal. I just called up the newspapers.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
What for Mazie to put my name in the obituary column?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Oh no, silly. I told him that you just challenged
the great actor Nado Gomez to a duel. They're gonna
have reporters and photographers down tomorrow morning. Tomorrow your face
will be spread all over the rest.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Of me will be spread all over too, Mazie, Why
did you get me into this for publicity?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
You do? You want people the world over to read
your name, don't you?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:47):
But not on a tombstone.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh, don't be silly. Bill Gomez won't really go through
with it when he sees you mean business.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
You want to bet he's the best shot in South America.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
He is, But but he wouldn't want to kill a man?
Speaker 5 (15:02):
Why not one more or less shouldn't make any difference
to him.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You mean he already with a gun?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Yeah, already once before, Mazie, I'm gonna faint.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Catch me, you catch me, Bill, Remember ladies.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
First, The Adventures of Mazie Starring and Southern will continue
in just a moment, And now back to Mazie.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Look, mister Gomez, I know you think I came up
to your hotel and woke you so early in the
morning because I'm afraid to die. But there's one thing
I must tell.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
You that you are not a little bit scared, Senor right.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
No, I'm a whole lot scared.
Speaker 7 (16:30):
He sure am I Ronaldo, you can't kill this man
in a dudel. He'd be bad publicity, Bracho.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
The honor of the great Ronaldo has been insulted, and
the only way the insults can be wiped out.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Is with blood.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
But gosh, Ronaldo, I don't like to be killed. It's
so well, it's so unhealthy.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Is why do you have to go a whole hog
on this, Ronaldo?
Speaker 7 (16:52):
Wouldn't that pesky honor of yours be satisfied if you
made a tiny bullet hole in Madge?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Say you right here? Maybe no, that would not satisfy me.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Me neither. I look sort of conspicuous going around with
three nostrils.
Speaker 7 (17:06):
Rinaldo. I forbid you to go through with this chilly duel.
You might get shot by accident. I'd have to return
the money for our advanced sale.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
Monee, money, money, signor There are more important things in
this world than money.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Now, I know you're out of your mind.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Look, Ronaldo, it's just your Lousiana that has to be appeased.
I'm willing to make a public apology to the report
that will not do you er.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
You trim the newspaper. Well, yes, Mayz.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
He arranged to have them witness the duel this morning,
with cameras and everything. The whole thing was just supposed
to be a stunt for publicity, publicity for free. Yeah,
I can see the headlines now, Bill Maddox in he
fought for his honor absolutely his last performance.
Speaker 7 (17:50):
But that's a wonderful idea, Maddocks.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's out of this world. Yeah, But I don't want
to be out of this world.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
I'd like to stay in it for a while. Yeah,
I mean terrific.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
Publicity for no money, for our show for Ronaldo.
Speaker 6 (18:01):
See will be magnificent like never before. In front of
the cameras, Senor Beer, I will shoot you left handed.
That is my much more better profile.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
And nothing doing. I'm calling this whole thing off. I'm
starving to death slowly, I know, but I don't mind.
I'm in no hurry.
Speaker 7 (18:19):
But you won't have to be shot at it. Sure
we can use black bullets in the guns. Look, I'll
make all the arrangements for the duel. We'll put it
on this morning in the alley behind the theater. In
time to make the morning papers that want to pillar
house for the day's met me.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Well, I'll see you later.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
Pallace gone, Senor bell An ego, ha, sit down, have
some breakfast. Ah, you look so thin you will make
a difficult target to shoot today with fake bullets.
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Natural look, Ronaldo, old Pale. We mustn't tell anybody that
this duel is gonna be a phony.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
No one, not even your agent, Senorita Ravine, especially not Mazy.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
You see, Pal, she thinks that you're the world best actor.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Ah, but does not.
Speaker 10 (19:03):
Everyone tis futile Mazy.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Dear heart, you cannot sway me from this little thing
I need to do to avenge your fair name.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Little thing buil. That little thing happens to be your life,
and you are to save it for your old age.
You gotta go to go miss and apologize.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
Apologize, never, dear heart, never never never, Oh but dear
o me to rupt please never never. I say I
am not of a cowardly turn, My sweet I have
red blood in my veins.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
And if you want to keep it in there, you
better call off this silly duel.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Be not a grieved small one. This is not farewell forever.
When I am gone, I will steal, will be with you.
You shall help my ashes ashes. Oh Bill, cry not obee,
this is merely a wah for the nuns. We shall
(20:12):
be together again in another world.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
But I don't want to be you raging in another world.
This one I got contacts in.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Tis my duty, Leepchen, and I am glad, glad to
lay down my life that the honor of womanhood shall
never be besmirched and trodden in the dust.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Oh Bill, that's so corney corne.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
You cried when Ronaldo Gomez said that in the play.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, but that was because the man next to me
was eating onions.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
Oh that does it. In ten minutes now, I meet
the best shot in the world in the alley behind
the theater. And if you think Gomez knew how to
die and the play, wait till you get a load
of little Willie making his big exit allR ah.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh well, mazee, you got just ten minutes to put
a stop to this thing you dreamed up. Jeepers, Why
couldn't you sometimes use your head to think with instead
of just to keep your ears from being too close together?
Speaker 11 (21:26):
Nine? Hey, all right, gentlemen, ready aim higher bing big
nine nine wonderful, gentleman, wonderful.
Speaker 7 (21:38):
Now'll be sure you do it just as dramatically when
the reporters get.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Here, if they ever do get here. I'm getting tired
from all this rehearsing, and I don't relish the idea
drenching myself with catsup when I get shot.
Speaker 5 (21:50):
This is my only shirt.
Speaker 7 (21:55):
That must be the newspaper reporters. Now get ready for
the dual, gentlemen, great turn, look is ready, good, good,
and maddocks. When you get shot, act like and put
some life into your dye.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Okay, okay, start county. Okay, very well, gentlemen.
Speaker 7 (22:10):
Remember this is a duel for the honor of an
American woman. And less, but not least two amends the
stain on the estutcheon of renold O Gomes, the world
famous actor now appearing at the thirty eighth Street Theater.
In blood is thicker than water. Matneys Wednesdays and Saturdays
within all sarcast Ready one, two, three.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Snap, you can't shoot deal, Oh it's only you. Stand back,
old fair maid whose fan name has been besmirched. The
honor of my name is in sooth at steak.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Say that is very good, me go very God and
the deal.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
He shut me.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I'm dying, dying, Oh Bill.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
That was just my bubble gum a.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
He Look the reporters, they've arrived in this way. Gentlemen,
stand back, Senior Eta, you're in the way of the commerce.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Start counting, chump fair well of aged mind. This may
per chance be the last performance of the world's best act.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
But that can't be. I have a run of the
play contract.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Still, will you get killed?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Look, nobody's getting killed in this duel.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Those pistols have blanks in them.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Does Bill know? Damn sure he does.
Speaker 7 (23:28):
This whole thing's a gag to show you he can act.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Oh a gag huh with a nerve of hymn, scaring
me out of my witch just for laughs. Well, I'll
show that man just how much I think I hear.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Wait, George, start counting for the duo. They're coming down
the alley.
Speaker 7 (23:42):
Now, okay, ready, gentlemen, one hold on there, we gotta
tip something's.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Going on here.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
You ain't kidding, fellows.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Gentlemen of the press.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Bill Maddox goes now to fight for the fair name
a fair woman who yes, and your reporters be sure
to get it all reporters.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
We'll detect you detectives, but.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
You can't be Last night I called the newspapers, not
the cops.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
But they call us and said there's going to be
a duel. Two actors are going to kill each other.
But we came over to stop it. Anyway, orders and orders, no.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Reportals, no picture wasted. All this time, you'll have lots
more time to waste.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Bud, you're going to jail, both of you.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
But but you can't take Bill to jail. He's my
only client.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yes, we've got a mat made to do. I cannot
go to jail.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
My contracts forbids if we haven't broken any law. These
guns are loaded with blanks, yes, banks.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yeah, yeah, sure it was a publicity stund officer just
for laughs.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Guns not loaded with bullets?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Well, sure not, and I can prove it. Go ahead, Bill,
shoot me, Yeah, that will prove it.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Shoot many, sure.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
There see the officer only a blank?
Speaker 8 (24:57):
Oh yeah, miss? Will you wear an open toad shoes now?
Where you're wearing them?
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Now?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Oh my goodness, I've been killed.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
She fighted Darling, speak to me, speak to me.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh before I go, this is one thing I must
tell you.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
You owe me four bucks for a new pair of shoes.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
In just a moment, we shall return to the Adventures
of Mazie.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
And now once again here's Mazie.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Well for a moment there, I really thought I was
going to kick the bucket, and the way my foot
feels right now, I ain't sure I didn't. Gosh, if
Bill had been a little better shot, I might have gone.
Well where agents go when they die? Anyway, I saw
Ronaldo's producer was impressed with Bill's acting, so when I
(26:43):
got him alone, I convinced him that an actor with
Bill's talent should get one hundred dollars a week, no
more and no less. And that's what the producer decided
to pay him. The only trouble was I didn't know
that just before he'd offered Bill two hundred. So I
had a heart to heart talk with Bill, and he
told me he didn't know what he could do without me,
(27:05):
but he sure wanted to try. So there goes my
first and last client. Well got to get to a
doctor with his foot. Gosh, from now on, it ain't
gonna be easy getting around with my big toe in
a sling.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
You have just heard the Adventures of Maizie, starring and Southern.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
Mazie, was written by Arthur Phillips. Original music was composed
and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting cast included Peter Leeds,
Gerald Moore, Sidney Beller, Frank Nelson and Jerry Hausner. John
Easton speaking
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Hell not
I have fab say.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
How about should that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
You all remember Metro Golden Mare's famous Mazie pictures. In
just a moment, you will hear Maizie in radios darring,
the same glamorous star you all went to see and
loved on the screen.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
And Southern.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
But first you're an aouncer, and now here's Anne Southern
(01:27):
as Mazie.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yep, I'm mazy, like the fella said by profession. I'm
in the theater. But I just quit my job as
a showgirl because of the costumes. The producer wanted me
to show too much girl anyway, hanging around theatrical agents'
offices as much as I do, some of how they
function is rubbed off on me. So I figured maybe
I'd better try that way a starving too. So last month,
(01:51):
by luck, I ran into a handsome actor, Bill Maddox,
who I thought had possibilities. I really thought Bill could
become a star on the stage because he had good
looks for six feet two and had the schmaltz he kindess,
the speaking voice that could give you goose pimples. The
only thing Bill lacked was stage experience, so right away
I took him to see the latest hit drama. I
(02:13):
wanted Bill should get a load of how matinee Idle
Number one Ronaldo Gomez performed, so as he could maybe
learn a little something before I started lying about him
the producers. But after we saw the great Ronaldo's performance
and were coming out of the theater, me and Bill
had our first argument.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Bah, you call that acting, Maisie, I call it corn.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
For your information, Bill Maddox, that corn brings Rinaldo Gomez
five thousand dollars a bushel. You should act such.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Corn, not me, Honey.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I'm young, yet I'd like to live why I've got
more talent my little finger than Gomez has in his
whole body.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Two bad women are interested in little fingers. They go
for the whole man. If you could learn just half
of what Ronaldo knows about acting, I can tell you
to any producer.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
Mazie, don't tell me that you thought that love scene
and the second act was good good.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
When Ronaldo gave Carl out of that passionate farewell kissed
my popcorn started shooting its way out of the bag.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
Oh, you women are all the same about these imported
great lovers. Personally to me, Ronaldo kissed the girl like
he was playing a harmonica.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Hmm, should happen to me? All right, Bill, you're my client,
and even though you are an actor, you can still
have brains. What didn't you like about Ronaldo's performance?
Speaker 5 (03:35):
What about his overacting?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Overacting? Why? I thought it was just super I mean,
especially in the death scene, how gladly he gave up
his life for love, and then when he was shot
he died laughing.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
So did the audience.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Ah, Bail, you're just like all men, never give credit
where credit is due.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Oh well, look, miss Revere, if you don't think enough
of my opinions, maybe I should get somebody else to
keep me unemployed.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh no, no, Bill, I have absolute confidence that you
can someday be a big star. And I know that
if you listen to my ad bite, someday you'll have
convertible cars, a yacht, tenthouse, apartment, and so much money
you'll get bowl legged carrying it to the bank. Oh god, Yeah,
we're going to be the most successful artist agent team
(04:22):
in the world. Bill, geez, you know this million dollar
team should celebrate in style.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Yeah, celebrate what Mazie, that costs money?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Ah, what's money?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Come on, where are we going?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And if this drugs, don't have a coke?
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Gee a coke? Maybe you let me drink it out
of your slipper.
Speaker 6 (04:53):
Nobody says this to the Great Ronaldo Gomes, not even you.
You will pardon me expression play. But the Great Ronaldo
was not superb in tonight's performance. Well look, Ronaldo, let's
not get ourselves.
Speaker 7 (05:06):
You've been getting away with that public nervous breakdown you
call acting for a long time now, but the public
is starting to get wide.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's so.
Speaker 7 (05:13):
Did you see how many empty seats there were tonight?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Empty seats?
Speaker 6 (05:17):
You want I should notice during my performance, the Great
ronal those artists when I am acting, I'm acting.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Not bookkeeping.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Well I'm bookkeeping. There were two hundred and twenty eight
empty seats, two hundred and twenty seven in the twelfth
row of the balcony. There was immediate No wonder, you
have to be prompted on your lines. You're always counting
the house during the performance to make sure you're not
cheated on your percenting. You cannot say that to the
Great Gomez. The Great Commas is the greatest artist in
(05:44):
the whole world.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Yeah, who told you that?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Nobody has to tell me. I admit it.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
Since you're so honest, you've got to admit that you're
not drawing them in like you used to. After all,
don't forget the famous saying. You can pull some of
the people some of the time, and you can pool
all of the people some of the time. I said that,
I said, Oh said that, Abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
It's too bad he isn't leaving. I would challenge him
to a duel like I did in my own country. Now,
please handle me my hat.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Oh sure, Ronaldo here, you're going right home.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I hope No.
Speaker 6 (06:18):
First I go to the drug store next door to
make a porch of one stamp. My friend in Brasili
should send me the newspaper clipping about the duel I
have made with that critic. There is one thing I
must find out.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
You mean, if he died, No, if he spelled my
name right.
Speaker 8 (06:44):
We're closing the store up in a few minutes, folks.
You want another coke?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, that's silly, clerk. Me and Bill haven't finished this
one yet.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Yeah, you see, my agent here don't usually order a
coke for the two of us. But tonight we're celebrating.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Oh oh sure, I just knew this was some festive
a case.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
That's right, That's why I ordered a large one.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
But you can be a pal pal and bring another straw.
Speaker 8 (07:06):
Another white cho I'm expecting a friend to join you.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
No, I want to beat out my brains with signing
up with her for my agent.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Why. Bill, that's a nasty thing to say. I raised
your price as an actor, didn't I?
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Oh, that you did, But you didn't get me any work.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I know. But I have faith in you, Bill. I
know you've got talent.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
But Mazie, I've heard rumors that the thing is for
the producers to become aware of me.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
But it's a wonderful idea.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
I said something when I wasn't listening.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, what you need is publicity, and I'm gonna get
it for you. I'll have your name and headlines in
all the papers.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
But to do that, you gotta have connections with newspapers.
Do you know any reporters or editors?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Mazie, Oh, do I know any reporters reditors? Do I
know any reports?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
A ditors? Well?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Do you please don't interrupt. I'm trying to remember.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Well, why you're trying to remember? I gotta call my
boarding house to see if any office came in from
other agents? What dal e got a nickel for the phone?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Sure? Dal here, I always saved some money for emergency.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Thanks, be right.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Back at once.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
Uh oh, my day is now complete. Here comes that
South American meathead, Rinaldo Gomez.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Again, Rinaldo Gome. Yeah, oh, he looks like such a
skinny thing in person. What happened all those muscles.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
Must have left them in his other suit.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Oh what a pest.
Speaker 8 (08:38):
It's always coming in here just before closing and buys
himself a dimes. Were the nickels for a phone call?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Mark, I'm here at once? They're great? Ronaldo, I would
like to purchase.
Speaker 8 (08:48):
The stop oh stamp. Well, it's a good thing I
didn't close up earlier. I would have missed out on
all this business. Pardon me, customer mind can't keep Ronaldo
a waiting gets as mad as a hornet, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Oh well, all act is a temperamental.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Not like Ronaldo.
Speaker 8 (09:06):
Chim with him, it's ninety percent temper and ten percent mental.
If I don't give him quick service with a smile,
he gets so mad, He challenges me to a duel.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
A duel, duel, duel, You've just given me a great
publicity idea. Huh, Bill told me he studied swordsmanship at college.
Speaker 8 (09:27):
Oh, a smart move on your boyfriend's part, Lady. Sure
is a great market for a guy who can use
a sword. Might even get himself a job in the
park's picking up papers.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
But no, I mean if Bill and he would duel
it had getting all the papers.
Speaker 8 (09:39):
Yeah, could be and maybe Ronaldo would get chilled. Say
that's a beautiful thought.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Curse. Those dueling characters first have to be insulted by
a fella. And ain't it usually over a woman?
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Don't please lord like a stamp?
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Yes, stop coming up, say miss way, you're gone.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Son, you just hired a new stamp saleswoman, the kind
that insults mot easy.
Speaker 8 (10:06):
Oh, I get it. Your boyfriend in the fears Gomez
challenges him to a duel, and.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Then for further details, consult your morning newspapers. Goodbye now,
so I've.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Never seen their best customer tool.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh well, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, mister Gomez.
What can I do for you?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh? You are here, to the clerk.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
They've been doing such a busy stamp business in this
drug store. They just had to put on extra health.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh good, I have in a lodge. Hurry one stamp please?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Oh well, yes, sir, you're lucky because we just got
in some fresh this morning. How about a nice airmail stamp, sir,
they're six cents.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
No, I want a plane stamp for three cents.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh you don't care to go that high. Well, how
about a nice five cents stamp?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
There, senor read all I want is for three cents
is stamp. I wish to write a letter, and I
am in a horror.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Oh well, in that case, our airmail is just the thing.
It gets that much faster. You know, all you do
is write a letter.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Let you are making me mad like anything. Do you
want me to lose my temple retirely?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Not just yet? You know it is better.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
No one three cent stamp? Please?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yes, what kind of stamp? American or Egyptian?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Please send me a stamp and stop being such a pest.
Speaker 7 (11:39):
Pest?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Well, I like that, I really do. I have never
been so unsolid in my life.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
Bill obill, great Ronaldo insult use Senorita, but this this
is cannot be in my country, the man who in
social Lady is shoot down like a dog.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Well say your prayers, Lassie. Yes, my hero, this beast,
this monster, he insulted me. Well, aren't you going to
say something to him?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Hello? Uh, Senor, you do not know me?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Eh not like I know you. Bill. This man doesn't
know me.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
He doesn't.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And he said I was a pest he did, yes.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
But Mazie, I thought you said he didn't know you.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Senor, I can explain no.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Bill. This is your big chance, your big, big chance. Bill,
I demand that you challenge this man to a duel.
Pistols at twenty paces.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
A duel pistols at twenty paces, Senorita, isn't this going
a little too far?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Well, all right, make a ten paces a mazy.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I think it's silly the challenge a perfect stranger to
a silly old duel. Don't mind her.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Mister a Gomez, Senor, the great and now the Gomez.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
You mean you?
Speaker 5 (12:53):
This little shrimp is what's left of that ham Gomez
after that stage costume is removed.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Oh no, and you're for that insult. I forget the
great danger and challenge you to a door.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Oh gosh, thanks you you're a sport.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Okay, Sonny, Sure, nice little duel.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
What would it be spitballs at twenty paces?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Wh you two decide? I got to make a phone call.
This is a scoop for both of us.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
You laugh now, Senor, But tomorrow morning, at sunrise, you
will laugh from the other side of your face. If
I decide to leave you another side, we shall fight
with pistols at twenty paces.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Oh calm now, Sonny, I was only kidding. Why at
twenty paces I couldn't even see a tiny.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Target like you.
Speaker 6 (13:39):
I may I'd be large like you, Senor, But with
the pistol and the best marksmen in all of South America.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
You're kidding? Are you? The last man I killed in
my own country said to me, just.
Speaker 9 (13:55):
Like that, you will actually kill the man dead like anything,
like an I shoot him right between the eyes, and
believe me, between that sneak's eyes, there was very little room.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Are there, Senor? Until tomorrow and dawn? Areio, Sennor?
Speaker 5 (14:15):
If I'm not there, just to go ahead without me?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Well it's all shut deal. I just called up the newspapers.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
What for Mazie to put my name in the obituary column?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Oh no, silly. I told him that you just challenged
the great actor Nado Gomez to a duel. They're gonna
have reporters and photographers down tomorrow morning. Tomorrow your face
will be spread all over the rest.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Of me will be spread all over too, Mazie, Why
did you get me into this for publicity?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
You do? You want people the world over to read
your name, don't you?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:47):
But not on a tombstone.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh, don't be silly. Bill Gomez won't really go through
with it when he sees you mean business.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
You want to bet he's the best shot in South America.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
He is, But but he wouldn't want to kill a man?
Speaker 5 (15:02):
Why not one more or less shouldn't make any difference
to him.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You mean he already with a gun?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Yeah, already once before, Mazie, I'm gonna faint.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Catch me, you catch me, Bill, Remember ladies.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
First, The Adventures of Mazie Starring and Southern will continue
in just a moment, And now back to Mazie.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Look, mister Gomez, I know you think I came up
to your hotel and woke you so early in the
morning because I'm afraid to die. But there's one thing
I must tell.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
You that you are not a little bit scared, Senor right.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
No, I'm a whole lot scared.
Speaker 7 (16:30):
He sure am I Ronaldo, you can't kill this man
in a dudel. He'd be bad publicity, Bracho.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
The honor of the great Ronaldo has been insulted, and
the only way the insults can be wiped out.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Is with blood.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
But gosh, Ronaldo, I don't like to be killed. It's
so well, it's so unhealthy.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Is why do you have to go a whole hog
on this, Ronaldo?
Speaker 7 (16:52):
Wouldn't that pesky honor of yours be satisfied if you
made a tiny bullet hole in Madge?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Say you right here? Maybe no, that would not satisfy me.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Me neither. I look sort of conspicuous going around with
three nostrils.
Speaker 7 (17:06):
Rinaldo. I forbid you to go through with this chilly duel.
You might get shot by accident. I'd have to return
the money for our advanced sale.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
Monee, money, money, signor There are more important things in
this world than money.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Now, I know you're out of your mind.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Look, Ronaldo, it's just your Lousiana that has to be appeased.
I'm willing to make a public apology to the report
that will not do you er.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
You trim the newspaper. Well, yes, Mayz.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
He arranged to have them witness the duel this morning,
with cameras and everything. The whole thing was just supposed
to be a stunt for publicity, publicity for free. Yeah,
I can see the headlines now, Bill Maddox in he
fought for his honor absolutely his last performance.
Speaker 7 (17:50):
But that's a wonderful idea, Maddocks.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's out of this world. Yeah, But I don't want
to be out of this world.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
I'd like to stay in it for a while. Yeah,
I mean terrific.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
Publicity for no money, for our show for Ronaldo.
Speaker 6 (18:01):
See will be magnificent like never before. In front of
the cameras, Senor Beer, I will shoot you left handed.
That is my much more better profile.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
And nothing doing. I'm calling this whole thing off. I'm
starving to death slowly, I know, but I don't mind.
I'm in no hurry.
Speaker 7 (18:19):
But you won't have to be shot at it. Sure
we can use black bullets in the guns. Look, I'll
make all the arrangements for the duel. We'll put it
on this morning in the alley behind the theater. In
time to make the morning papers that want to pillar
house for the day's met me.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Well, I'll see you later.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
Pallace gone, Senor bell An ego, ha, sit down, have
some breakfast. Ah, you look so thin you will make
a difficult target to shoot today with fake bullets.
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Natural look, Ronaldo, old Pale. We mustn't tell anybody that
this duel is gonna be a phony.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
No one, not even your agent, Senorita Ravine, especially not Mazy.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
You see, Pal, she thinks that you're the world best actor.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Ah, but does not.
Speaker 10 (19:03):
Everyone tis futile Mazy.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Dear heart, you cannot sway me from this little thing
I need to do to avenge your fair name.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Little thing buil. That little thing happens to be your life,
and you are to save it for your old age.
You gotta go to go miss and apologize.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
Apologize, never, dear heart, never never never, Oh but dear
o me to rupt please never never. I say I
am not of a cowardly turn, My sweet I have
red blood in my veins.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
And if you want to keep it in there, you
better call off this silly duel.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Be not a grieved small one. This is not farewell forever.
When I am gone, I will steal, will be with you.
You shall help my ashes ashes. Oh Bill, cry not obee,
this is merely a wah for the nuns. We shall
(20:12):
be together again in another world.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
But I don't want to be you raging in another world.
This one I got contacts in.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Tis my duty, Leepchen, and I am glad, glad to
lay down my life that the honor of womanhood shall
never be besmirched and trodden in the dust.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Oh Bill, that's so corney corne.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
You cried when Ronaldo Gomez said that in the play.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, but that was because the man next to me
was eating onions.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
Oh that does it. In ten minutes now, I meet
the best shot in the world in the alley behind
the theater. And if you think Gomez knew how to
die and the play, wait till you get a load
of little Willie making his big exit allR ah.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh well, mazee, you got just ten minutes to put
a stop to this thing you dreamed up. Jeepers, Why
couldn't you sometimes use your head to think with instead
of just to keep your ears from being too close together?
Speaker 11 (21:26):
Nine? Hey, all right, gentlemen, ready aim higher bing big
nine nine wonderful, gentleman, wonderful.
Speaker 7 (21:38):
Now'll be sure you do it just as dramatically when
the reporters get.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Here, if they ever do get here. I'm getting tired
from all this rehearsing, and I don't relish the idea
drenching myself with catsup when I get shot.
Speaker 5 (21:50):
This is my only shirt.
Speaker 7 (21:55):
That must be the newspaper reporters. Now get ready for
the dual, gentlemen, great turn, look is ready, good, good,
and maddocks. When you get shot, act like and put
some life into your dye.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Okay, okay, start county. Okay, very well, gentlemen.
Speaker 7 (22:10):
Remember this is a duel for the honor of an
American woman. And less, but not least two amends the
stain on the estutcheon of renold O Gomes, the world
famous actor now appearing at the thirty eighth Street Theater.
In blood is thicker than water. Matneys Wednesdays and Saturdays
within all sarcast Ready one, two, three.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Snap, you can't shoot deal, Oh it's only you. Stand back,
old fair maid whose fan name has been besmirched. The
honor of my name is in sooth at steak.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Say that is very good, me go very God and
the deal.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
He shut me.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I'm dying, dying, Oh Bill.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
That was just my bubble gum a.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
He Look the reporters, they've arrived in this way. Gentlemen,
stand back, Senior Eta, you're in the way of the commerce.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Start counting, chump fair well of aged mind. This may
per chance be the last performance of the world's best act.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
But that can't be. I have a run of the
play contract.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Still, will you get killed?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Look, nobody's getting killed in this duel.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Those pistols have blanks in them.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Does Bill know? Damn sure he does.
Speaker 7 (23:28):
This whole thing's a gag to show you he can act.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Oh a gag huh with a nerve of hymn, scaring
me out of my witch just for laughs. Well, I'll
show that man just how much I think I hear.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Wait, George, start counting for the duo. They're coming down
the alley.
Speaker 7 (23:42):
Now, okay, ready, gentlemen, one hold on there, we gotta
tip something's.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Going on here.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
You ain't kidding, fellows.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Gentlemen of the press.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Bill Maddox goes now to fight for the fair name
a fair woman who yes, and your reporters be sure
to get it all reporters.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
We'll detect you detectives, but.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
You can't be Last night I called the newspapers, not
the cops.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
But they call us and said there's going to be
a duel. Two actors are going to kill each other.
But we came over to stop it. Anyway, orders and orders, no.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Reportals, no picture wasted. All this time, you'll have lots
more time to waste.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Bud, you're going to jail, both of you.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
But but you can't take Bill to jail. He's my
only client.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yes, we've got a mat made to do. I cannot
go to jail.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
My contracts forbids if we haven't broken any law. These
guns are loaded with blanks, yes, banks.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yeah, yeah, sure it was a publicity stund officer just
for laughs.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Guns not loaded with bullets?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Well, sure not, and I can prove it. Go ahead, Bill,
shoot me, Yeah, that will prove it.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Shoot many, sure.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
There see the officer only a blank?
Speaker 8 (24:57):
Oh yeah, miss? Will you wear an open toad shoes now?
Where you're wearing them?
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Now?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Oh my goodness, I've been killed.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
She fighted Darling, speak to me, speak to me.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh before I go, this is one thing I must
tell you.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
You owe me four bucks for a new pair of shoes.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
In just a moment, we shall return to the Adventures
of Mazie.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
And now once again here's Mazie.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Well for a moment there, I really thought I was
going to kick the bucket, and the way my foot
feels right now, I ain't sure I didn't. Gosh, if
Bill had been a little better shot, I might have gone.
Well where agents go when they die? Anyway, I saw
Ronaldo's producer was impressed with Bill's acting, so when I
(26:43):
got him alone, I convinced him that an actor with
Bill's talent should get one hundred dollars a week, no
more and no less. And that's what the producer decided
to pay him. The only trouble was I didn't know
that just before he'd offered Bill two hundred. So I
had a heart to heart talk with Bill, and he
told me he didn't know what he could do without me,
(27:05):
but he sure wanted to try. So there goes my
first and last client. Well got to get to a
doctor with his foot. Gosh, from now on, it ain't
gonna be easy getting around with my big toe in
a sling.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
You have just heard the Adventures of Maizie, starring and Southern.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
Mazie, was written by Arthur Phillips. Original music was composed
and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting cast included Peter Leeds,
Gerald Moore, Sidney Beller, Frank Nelson and Jerry Hausner. John
Easton speaking
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Hell not
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