All Episodes

November 15, 2023 • 28 mins
The titular setting for the show was "a seedy bar and grille on New York's Third Avenue". The cast had Ed Gardner as Archie, Alan Reed as Finnegan, Pattee Chapman as Miss Duffy, Jimmy Conlin as Charlie, Veda Ann Borg as Peaches La Tour, and Herb Vigran as Second Story Jackson.

The radio version of Duffy's Tavern ended in 1952. When the TV version began two years later, Gardner's involvement was limited to acting. He said, "In radio, I was the producer and the director and half the time the writer and also Archie." The TV version had Hal Roach Jr. as producer and Harve Foster as director.[6]This program was the second effort to have a TV version of Duffy's Tavern. An earlier, hour-long version was filmed for showing as part of the All Star Revue series. It was never broadcast because the Revue was sponsored by a milk company, and the barroom setting conflicted with the company's image.
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
Hello, Duffy's why do you latme d Doughn't you to mind just making
Duffy ain't here? Hello, Duffy. Huh the crown here. It's a
pretty horrible looking ensemble. I thinkEddie must have stood out in the gutter
and swept in. Well, youknow it's coming here tonight, Duffy Dinah

(00:29):
shore Yeah, female shantous huh whatWell? All I can say is,
of course we out of shape.I thought he wouldn't have to worry about
Sinatra. Huh. No, Shanais a crown. Oh she's a sort
of a messo Barracuda. Yeah.Yeah, down in the uh, down

(00:51):
in Nashville, down in the South, you know where she comes from.
They call her the metso bell.No, Duffy, not massa ball,
oh, mess a bell. Yeah. She's a gonna sing a song that
I'm writing. Uh, I callit the legs Face. That's one in
love? Hello? He hung up, Eddie? Yes, And I gotta

(01:15):
finish this song of mine. What'sthe word for one? Two people's in
love, you know, and thenthey die, and then they're in love
again and another life, and thenthey die and then they're in love again.
People. Yeah, monotony. Ididn't wait him and sounding a tip
of my tongue, ran I reinconcerated. Yeah, that's it now, Eddie

(01:45):
w rhymes with eyes. I youmean like eyes of blue, a eyes
regusted regular eye. You know theoptionals, lies, bieses, sighe sky
five, Eddie, Which is easyas that. You'd be a songwriter too,

(02:07):
You a songwriter? Oh yeah,Well, when you hear Donis Shore
sing me Sean, then I'll catchthink busy to plug it and Kate Smith,
bred Allen, No, no,not him, no, Frank Sinatra,
Genny Shims, Dennis Day, EddyGreen, Eddie Green, you'll plug

(02:30):
it. H By that time,I'll be singing at the Metropolitan Opera house
Man and big Shot thing on ruintheir programs, singing your song thing ain't
town? What do you think?I bet your week's two? Okay,
it's a bet. Okay, there'smy dying, where as your all right,

(02:51):
here's mine. I wanta plug thissong and I'll stunt with Dinish Shore.
Maybe you're start. It'll be hardfinish. How you going be able
to get? How to do it? Very simply, Eddie? Pleas no
megotism. Let's just say Donna liftyour lovely voice and song while I put
my arms around you, kiss youand caress you. Oh well, if

(03:15):
you won't threaten her. Okay,he stopped trying to reweuch on me.
Now let's finish the song. Let'ssee what what rhymes with quork? Yeah?
All right? And again what you'redoing? I'm writing a song,
writing the show anything I know?This is an original song that has never

(03:40):
been wrote before. That's pretty dumb. Write the song that nobody knows as
well as you write the song.Why don't you write an old favorite like
Chloe. If it's an old favorite, it means that somebody has already wrote
it. Then write an old favoritethat nobody wrote you. So, what's

(04:00):
your name of your shown? Icall it the Leavish Patient, war in
Love, Oh you love Me?And China showing that's your pump title.
I got a better one, theDinah? Is there anyone finer? Is
the state of Carolina? But thenagain that's owned by another songriner. Still
change Carolina to Oklahoma, but don'tOklahoma don't rhyme with Dinah? Still make

(04:28):
a marginchie Oh yes, miss Duffy, do you think Ahoe seems better?
Than me, Miss Duffy, shesings better than you with both vocal cords
tied behind her back. If youthink anything's better than me, why don't
you go away to her father?Father ain't got a diner now, please,

(04:55):
miss Duffie, let me alone withit. What's the matter, Eddie?
Something terrible? It's happened one somebodywon on the pinball machine? Holy
ken? Who was it? MisterMoriarity? When was it? Scoring four
million? Three million, seven fiftyalbum? Get the Blue Lights Going?
Yeah, the red lights? Yeah, the bowling yeah, American flag comment.

(05:20):
Yeah, looks like he made itall right? Yeah, what do
we do? Well? What elsecan we too? I'll go over and
pay him his nickel? Damn?Better go and check up on machine.

(05:40):
That machine. You know it's thesecond time it's been hit this year.
Help me right back, Eddie,Edie, what do you think of giant
shirt singing? Many? Fine?What do you think of my singing?
Mighty fine? Well? Who doyou think is better? Matter? Fine?
Revers facing we're in. I shouldhave wrote it in a lower octave.

(06:04):
Then, no, the first onewas right. That levers dger over
there looking for a package. Whatain't there ain't no lady. That's John
Davis, Chris Davis. I understandyou're looking for a package. Well,

(06:29):
yes I am. Say you're prettycute, blue eyes, curly hair,
And where'd you get them muscles?Where did you get yours? I asked
you first about this package? Oh, yes, it's very important. Oh
what's in it? I don't knowwho gave it me. I'm not sure.

(06:54):
Well what does it look like?I don't know. Now we're really
getting somewhere. You are sure thatit is a package. Oh, yes,
it's a very important package. Wellwhy is it important? I don't
know. I bet you I knowwhat's in a package? What a straight
jacket? Oh no, I gotone of those. We'll wear it and

(07:18):
good help. Well thank you?Say, by the way, what are
you doing later? How would youlike to take me home? I thought
you came here looking for a package. Oh I haven't found it yet.
And why should I go home emptyhanded? Well, miss Davis, exclude
me out. I ain't no package. Well you could be if you were

(07:41):
tied together. Better hold the cuteberg. Hi lady up, pretty Robert,
you're crazy? Could be okay withDavis? Well, look for your

(08:03):
package now in the meantime, Whydon't you go in that booth though?
But they don't shit down? Huhoh, I do want to shit all
alone? What do you mean allalone? There's seven sailors in that booth
for me, that's alone. Whydon't you come back tomorrow and look for
this package? I can't tomorrow.I'm looking for it on Eddie Cantor's program.
Oh well, then there's only oneon the way out. What's out

(08:26):
the back door? Come on,Davis, right back, Eddie boy.
This place is so full of radiostars, and John is really tough in
the knife. What do you mean, Eddie? Well, Dad goes David
through the old bad dawn in throughthe front, comes downasaur donis sure,

(08:50):
welcome to Jacky's miss sure, thankyou, but it's uh missus Montgomery,
if you please? Oh yeah,you just got married? Uh huh.
Likewise, I hope at you'll beback in a minute, diners, And
guess what you don't know? You'remarried? What's funny? It was in
most of the papers? Was itprinted in the racing results? Who do

(09:15):
you think? I'm married? Beingcrossy? Anyways? Tell me, Dinas
says the father of being married toa movie actors. What are you meaning
well being a movie actor? Yourhusband has kissed so many other women before
you, missus stuffy. Maneuvers havenever spoiled a battle, Miss Stuffy,

(09:39):
Have you ever thought about getting marriedever since the age of Mary? Not
that I haven't had chances? Ohgoodness, the vision challenged man. I
could have had startleship pages, vacuumcleaner, salesman, wealthy fan, hug.

(10:01):
I just couldn't give up my career. What is your career? I
sing? Oh? Well, itwas very courageous of you to give up
all those men for your singing.Very insisted on it. You see my

(10:22):
singing teacher? Oh who is yoursinging teacher? Yeah? Your pan of
flabnet? Oh hello, well,Dinah's ben't glad to see you again.
What's new? Well, I've gotmyself in a roommate. Oh that's fine,
nice lovely, that's fine. NiceCarol has a nice roommate. Wearing

(10:46):
each other's clothes, taking times makingthe beds, and going Dutch on the
ramp. Smoking each other's pipe mustbe very good. Tobacco. You ain't
look love wearing a long time?Well, Dina enough at the shop talking,
how is about rendering. This oneof numbers. Okay, our child

(11:07):
will render you with no love,no nothing. It's one of the big
current hits. Oh yeah, wellit's amazing. Other one to showing that
saving the current hit. I'll talkto you about it later, Paula,
wake up the philharmonica for Dina.No lord, no nothing, my baby

(11:39):
comes home, no no nothing,long as baby my throw promise him wait
for believe them Haidy through long haveknown but what still gold, no love,

(12:16):
no nothing, that's the promise.Hope, No, we have no
one getting planned. Plead from bothlies and asty honey cold, no love,

(12:46):
no sir, no nothing, Tomtybecause old no no nothing. There's
the promise hot no fun. Withno one getting planed, he'll flee my

(13:20):
and my honey cold no no,no nothing to nothing. Really wonderful,

(13:50):
thank you. It was on Keyollo. What you want to sign up in
the fleet Club? Didn't you beatclip? You know? Two quarter notes
with the omeloud see My song,on the other hand, is written in
the song you see miss downs ofcourse my song. Really I had no

(14:20):
idea. You was no musical archiemusic mercy me. I played the piano
when I was three years old.Three years old. It was a little
piano what they call a pianesimal.So you were a child progeny huh yeah,
yeah, and it was a curse. You know. Day after Damie

(14:43):
Fady used to say to me,Archie, why aren't you go out and
play baseball with the other boys.You know, I'd say, no,
Damn, I have to go upstairsand practice me chamber music. And yeah,
Dane, I ain't practiced until finallythey sent me to the observatory,

(15:07):
Archie, Archie, which Kiefer didyou study under? Uh? They called
maestras. It's very conservatory observatory.Uh. Anyways, that's when I studied
the old masters, you know,and I loved him Chachikovich with the table
Bussi, Puccini bat shoot Tachikowski,Archie, that's Tchaikowsky, so I must

(15:37):
pronounced one of them. Yeah.And that Dinah is the background that produced
this? Oh is this a song? Let's see leave us face it.
We're in love lyrics words and maladyby Archie. You wrote the words too,

(15:58):
what words? It's easy? Go? You gotta do is make him
run? You know, it's aneck say something anything, radiator hot tomato.
You're fantastic, Gastric, go ahead, hit me again, sweet Littloni
HOASTRAMI judge of peaches donal matches Jackwell any and I got dying over there

(18:11):
in the corner looking over me song. I suppose you don't like it.
She don't like it, And likeI said before, I'll call on me
personal megatism this miss Shaw. Maybeshe's married or something. I don't be
silly. How could she be married? I ain't even asked yet. You'll

(18:32):
lay me hand said you don't wantOh, yes, I did look over
the song. Yes, we carriedaway with emotion. Huh, yes,
the kind of emotion I feel onthe ocean. Well, okay, ain't

(18:52):
it deal? Look at me?There's no magatism coming upon it outside.
Look, Dinah, don't sing thissong for just playing Archie, but for
the archie whose feet you have sweptoff. Dona here y'all living alone with
your roommate and empty like well withme just the second archie. Is this

(19:17):
a proposal? It could be construedmy roommate would pin back your ears listen
to dame. Don't live that.I can't let come on Dinah sing it?
Huh, Archie I'm afraid I don'tknow what archie. I can't sing
it. You see it's not inthe well. Don't sing it well,

(19:38):
just have the fan play it.You just accompany the band Paul Trumpets.
Please thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Missus doynah show will now sing me
on original composition, Leave us faceit. We're in love. Uh sand
and good old duffies. Where thealias me to eat me? Red corpsuckles

(20:04):
raising, I'll wait for you,my sweet in my hand is a time
and unfurn We should holler it allto the world. Leave a snow longer,

(20:26):
Pretend that you are merely a friend, for it is roll in the
storm. Oh, we have triedto acchold suddenly moved and get hold.

(20:53):
Leave a spaces we love, Leaveus not blush with no shame. If
people bandage our name, shoes andall rice are worth three stories. Like

(21:22):
in r Too, I could winthe foodseller prime. Leave the spaces we
in love somehow, no many agesof all In an old friend chapel,

(21:48):
we was maiden. Now fine.Love is mine just as mine love was.
I has been re in car sirraiding, So I like my thraw
at your fee, don't leave melife uncomplete. I'm like a turble with

(22:15):
ahl ain't made to be here?No no, no, perish Bobby leave

(22:37):
bay wee Well, Diana, whydo you take it all? But you

(23:00):
know, take it home and showit to your roommate. He won't like
it. He you mean that,Archie? I am missus. George Montgommery,
how do you think this is mydummer? Excuse me? Hello the
package? Hello, Joan? Listen, Joan? How would you like to

(23:25):
sing a song of mine? Whatwhat am I doing Wednesday night? Nothing?
Brother than like you gotta do toget a song plugged? How does
it go? Well? Its leaveus? No longer breath there? I

(23:47):
better whistle it before we leave.Duffies leave us. Put a couple of

(24:29):
nickels in Duffies jukebox. The platis spinning, the needle comes down.
It's music. Doucaducah. If youwant to, you can rhyme chip,

(25:30):
but you can't Doca. That's anothernample. Paradiseauca. That's just a funny
little pits in Kentucky. But tome it rimes with Lucky. When I'm
looking into blue lightes two long timethey get excited over too long time,

(25:56):
and I'm delighted over tu long time. It can not happen too long.
But if you honor ug rhyme,whistle but you can't go, that's another
name for paradise. This three podcastis a presentation of the Armed Forces Radio Service
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