All Episodes

November 15, 2023 • 31 mins
The titular setting for the show was "a seedy bar and grille on New York's Third Avenue". The cast had Ed Gardner as Archie, Alan Reed as Finnegan, Pattee Chapman as Miss Duffy, Jimmy Conlin as Charlie, Veda Ann Borg as Peaches La Tour, and Herb Vigran as Second Story Jackson.

The radio version of Duffy's Tavern ended in 1952. When the TV version began two years later, Gardner's involvement was limited to acting. He said, "In radio, I was the producer and the director and half the time the writer and also Archie." The TV version had Hal Roach Jr. as producer and Harve Foster as director.[6]This program was the second effort to have a TV version of Duffy's Tavern. An earlier, hour-long version was filmed for showing as part of the All Star Revue series. It was never broadcast because the Revue was sponsored by a milk company, and the barroom setting conflicted with the company's image.
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Stuffy oldo Duffy's waiting late eighteen.How do you image it's taking Duffy,

(00:24):
ain't here? Hold on, Duffytonight. Uh, Peter La and missus
Cormacs weld and a talking bride huhmissus wild talking boy, and don't get
excited, Duffy, it ain't auntAnd now that bids you can shut up
once in a while. Wall hehad a teter barr dubby. It's wonderful.

(00:46):
He talks. He whistled to eventhings. And oh no, well
can you pull wimbs out of theground with your beak? You probably could
have done what he had to say. Means that he's practically human. Huh
at fours and he's got flat feet. Well they call him a minor bide.

(01:08):
He comes from the Mary Peninsula.Yeah, where I'm Malarius come from.
Yes, and missus Wells found himin a juggle. We don't know
when he was there, just alittle puppy. Well what day you call
it? Small brake a Godlin,Thank god, Duffy, you kill me.
A Gosling is a Norwegian trader.Thanky, I'm glady back, Duffy.

(01:34):
Nor Ladies and gentlemen, welcome toDuffy, come in and meet Finnegan
and either way he miss Stuffy,Johnny Johnson, Paul Weston and his orchestra,
our special guest Tonight, Peter Laurieand Missus carbon Wells, Minor Bird
Raffles, and Artie himself, EdGardner. H Harry, I don't forget

(01:57):
the announcement about the book, Duffy'sFight Greater. Oh yes, I'll make
it now, Yeah, Architece framframp Place. Thank you, go ahead,
Harry. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Ever since Duffies has been on
the air, people have been askingwhy Archie hasn't written the book. Well,
finally it's happened. It has beenwritten by the great genius Harry.
Please both. He means it hasbeen wrote Mando watch a fiction. Yes,

(02:24):
yeah, Archie has really wrote aunique book. It is called Duffy's
First Reader, and there are chapterson mathematics, etiquette's history and grammar.
Not to mention me got a breography, that's drive. And Duffy's First Reader
is profusely illustrated. And Harry comment'sgot thank you too. Yes, pictures

(02:49):
not only of Archie but of thefamous personalities who are visited Duffies in the
past forty eight pages of pictures andlasts, And all it will cost you,
ladies and gentlemen, is the costof postage handling in round numbers.
Ten cents. That's all a missarchid not. They're just talking bird.

(03:10):
What do they call it? Theycall it a minor birds? Why do
they call it a minor bird?An? He said, it's difficult for
me to wait. Twain's the oneI'm familiar with, the actual habitus a
five dollars. Oh you don't know, huh quote Eddy, I never took
abound a subjects of which I amignorant. Now that quiet, nobody could

(03:31):
be Tell me why do they calla minor bird? Because it's a bird
that ain't twenty one years old?What do they call the bird out that
it becomes twenty one? Uh?Nothing? They die at twenty. Would
you like any more information, Eddie? Yeah, keep a client. Where

(03:53):
do you get all this stuff?Well, don't forget any got For a
long time I was assotiated with theExplorers Club as a bus boy made of
the water. They called me.I'm actually working an explorer's club. It
makes one practically an explorer oneself.I was a waiter at the Salt Club
for two years. I ain't neverhad a baby. What what does this

(04:15):
bird look like? Why? It? It looks like a short of one
of them molted falcons, only darker, more of a chocolate malted soccer.
Yeahs, who did you say wascoming down here? Peter? Laurie and
a talking bird? A finding choice? They give me? What's wrong with

(04:41):
Laurie? He has the wrong hehas all the requirements. You're the man.
He the man. He's too short. I never go out with your
men. It ain't sportsman like,only short. But he's tricky anyway.
What's wrong with short guy? He'sa wrong fonder? Is short than your
mother? Any well? Were thesame times when they were married? Yeah?

(05:02):
Well, I guess all I bangingon my head has goof look messed
Upie? Can't you think of anythingbut men? Here? I can't?
But why should I punise myself?They are? Yeah? Missus carvers Wells
is here with the birds. Ohwell, good evening, missus Wilds.
We aren't did granted humble presents atonight? Speaking of jungles, you know

(05:28):
I'm an old time hunting myself.You are, Yeah, many's the time
I hunted elephants lines. I guesshyenas. Yeah, Hendie over there.
He used to be me the farrypriceless. Many of the time he has
stressed me out of the jungle,which jon uh which uh? Well with

(05:54):
the name of that one again,eddie boy, that is the one you
gotta trust yourself out of. Wellanyway, is I always saying where we
made a bag of a three gang? That is a very good idea,
How about it, missus? Wells? All right, I'll take raffles out
of this cage. Hmmm. Ithink you have a bird sat on it.

(06:14):
That's a bird that whistle your favoriteshoe whistle, your favorite tune.
While your favorite shoe whistle whistle yourfavorite shoes that is thrown gray, while
your favorite whistle. My country isof the raffles twist all my country is
are the whistle. My country isa they whistle. Now, that's what

(06:39):
you're gonna whistle. You're gonna whistle? Heal him in the game. He's
oh yeah, hell, hell whistle, Hell, hell's a whistle whistle?
Really the song you like that whistis your favorite shoo? Now? Is
so your favorite? Yeah? NowWhat's what, Raffles, you're gonna put
to your favorite tune again? Allright? When you saw us this picture,

(07:01):
did you lie, Raffles? Didyou what do you say? That's
pretty girl? A life rise ain'there when you saw that this picture?
Did you not? Did you not? A very right? What are your
favorite cube? What are your favoritetunes? What are your favorite tunes?

(07:25):
Fine, Raffles, But you're gonnasay hello Joe Jones, gonna say hello
Joe, Joe, say hello JoeJoe. He kill now ruffles kinge your
boys, none of that. Hill. I know that you have a tune
you like. Best of all,how about whistling the tune that you like
us? All whistle whistle whistle meHello, Hello, Duffy? Uh yeah,

(07:55):
everybody, kid, well word,don't worry, Duffy, don't worry.
I'm watching him. Yeah. Besides, anyhow, I got me hat
on and what No, Duppy,You're wrong, No, tuppy, it
is not just nah. I thoughtit was Gabriel hated that was wonderful at

(08:18):
nothing if I did quiz, kidscan't do well. Raffles can't give you
advice, Oh Archie, Oh Johnshon, I look Johnny I've been meaning to
apologize to you. You know,I've been unplowed rough one year, the
last couple of weeks, and Iwant you to know I really think you're

(08:39):
a great singer. Oh okay,but I now look about this bird.
It happens that you know, I'mthe singer around here, and I don't
like to see a bird cutting intomy racket. Look, Johnson, it
may be knows to you, butthen birds was in the singing racket long
before you was. Well. Iwant you to know that I'm not taking
a second billing to a crow.Johnson, what is it on tonight?

(09:01):
Sunday? Money? You're always SundayMonday? Always? I not if you
left that payday jus sing. Youwere very wise leaving out that payday.
All you tell me where we willmeet again Sunday Monday. You're all well,

(09:33):
if you're satisfied, I'll be aYou're fired Sunday Monday? Are all
well? Long to tell me?Now? What makes the world go wrong
when at the sight of you myheart begins to pale and pow? And

(10:01):
what am I to do? AndI be with you Monday? My name?
Allway? All you tell me wherewe will meet again Sunday Monday.

(10:37):
Alway, you're start a fine.I'll be at your big Sunday, my
nail away. No need to tellme now what makes the world go around?

(10:58):
Where off the side of you myhall begin to fall and fall?
What am I doing? Am Iwith you? Wnda? Oh? Howard

(11:41):
cow is very good? You know? Wait? Wait, shouldn't really walk
on you like waight though? Ohthat's all right, Art, I'm like
a rug, you know, I'mI'm better after a good beating. Why
do I try to get friendly withthis guy? Well? Sit again,
you'll land. You'll miss the talkingbray to what we had took him for

(12:01):
dinner. But you should have beenhere Fenny and did that. But it
really talked boy, you know?So dude told me briefly. What did
he shout it? So? Hesaid, I want to think like take
a ban Hello Joe Jones, Rebecca, Uh, hello Joe. Joe shows

(12:22):
like a moron to me. Whereis your spoy comprom min? Well he's
the onspring of missus, comments wellat the explorer, Oh, dude,
I know quite a number of sploringexplorers and stop lying want to explorers?
Then you don't know, doctor p. Junes, doctor free Joney, doctor

(12:46):
Livingston Hyde for Joe. The man'sname was Stanley, I pray John,
doctor? What's madam o loo?Yeah, the man who's been sitting over
that car. You know we are, oh, mister Peter Laura, Oh

(13:13):
miss Glorious a pleasure to handle hair, thank you, sir. Yeah.
Yeah, makes the rest of thegang here look less grossome. So please
don't say I don't want you tothink of me as a horrible person.
Oh right, I'll try him outso that. No, please think of
me as a sweet, lovable manwho makes certain people's things sort of not

(13:33):
music or Frank Sinatra, sort ofa Frankenstein act. Yeah, yeah,
but get on scamming, you know, highway for a guy who makes you
look like little up and Annie?Who is there? A guy named Duffy
he had by what is the otherhalf? Why? What is the other
half? Hey, you sh't seehim. He stands five feet sakes sitting

(13:58):
down on his stocking feet and hasan extort style that his wife Yeah,
guys, all shoulders and back.When he buys a soak, he only
buys a coat for what did hedo with the pants his wife wears him?
Or he sounds like a montrosity.Yes, wellfa, and he loves
your textures. You know, he'salways don't happy at the finish when you'll

(14:18):
finally get the ghoul or jie.I'm very tired of that sort of picture.
Well, what he's gonna do?Well, you know I've been off
of the radio program where I canbe doing different, entirely different, and
a children's hours. Yeah, itsounds like a natural player. Yeah,
good evening, kiddie. This isyour uncle Jack the Ripper. I'm serious,

(14:45):
Archie. I've always loved little childrenand I'm going to at this program
for them myself. Oh it's lovely. The first story, you know,
is about a little boy and girl, little blind girl. He's a little
boy and girl and the elite fordinner because on the way home from school
didn't fall into a concrete mixer.Oh, the judge of childhood. Where

(15:09):
is their parents? Well, theirparents would have been there, but they
were throwing down a country lane andgot their heads cut off by a windmill.
So I'll certainly gets the kiddies totake them milk. I think so
too, You think so. Thepolice tried to find their uncle, but
uncle is busy in the backyard havinga barbecue. And what do you think

(15:33):
is uncle barbecuing? Huh anthy oryour record story? Well sounds pretty good,
up, Peter. Maybe they canget some plasmas coming to pure Well,
I like it? Do you mind? INTEGI to me? Oh,

(15:54):
I'm sorry, Miss Sori. Thisis Ms Duffy, the daughter of the
establishments, you know, mister layYeah, lets me talk with him person
as you while on the screen.Thank you. I have never seen you
on the screen. Tool. Ican't return to comfort him, thank you?
Can I ask you a personal questionis what is it you girls go

(16:15):
out with you for once in awhile? How did they explain you to
their folks? They usually say,moment see what I'll marry if you don't
let me go out with Joel.Well, mister Louie, don't feel too
bad. Remember any joy would goout with you isn't worth having anyhow Well,

(16:37):
Msuppie, I don't want to breakup this courtship. But why don't
you show Miss Lorry around the jointsentertain him. Maybe I'll sing to him
that's kind of horror even he couldn'tstand him? Well, to take him
home and show him the broad leavethem amaze each other. Okay, and
come on, mister Louis, Missogy, Yeah, Eddie crime, I'm on

(16:57):
the premises crime. What happened?Somebody has a soul of sandwich? Perish
forbid from where? From the freeor der counter? But I just put
up a sign free of dirve,do not touch want a rack swiping a
sandwich? Not free of dice.Even a cop wouldn't do it after no,

(19:00):
Sorry, So Lurry, that bringsus up to date in the case
of a messing. So Lamie man, we gotta find a crook. Now
you want to take the case,frank Leachi. It doesn't quite intrigue me,
but why not? Well you've seenthe movie. The scene is usually
more gruesome, you know, bodieson the floor and body and sunny Sonny

(19:22):
way down. So I've got tohunchets. Oh that's too gruesome, so
grossome, you better way face downnow where it's start the cross examination and
grill some of these rats. Andmister lawry out of course, that's deal
with. I guess I think you'rea phrase right, we should grow Thank
you, thank you, go ahead, okay, Larry, I don't complain

(19:45):
where you want to Mandy tonight.Well, I came down here to duffish
for what raton when I was outof my mind? Honey in mine huh
the logical man to eat the sandwich? Any play such as a criminal investigation,
It's sure it's sore. Uh no, my damn, I sorry.

(20:08):
Can you explain the location of you'rewhereabouts doing the misdemeanor of the sandwich?
So when a tandwich was stolen,I were sitting on that chair next to
the for your driver account of listeningto the birds sing songs, sitting next
to the count or listening to thebird. Yeah, but as you see,
when I sit in this chair,I cannot possibly reach out to the
sandwiches. M well that's only winaeyou nice witness Nan. Yeah, Jack,

(20:34):
you na just call me mister dathanks the sand play for the third
degrade. Oh, let me dothis out you please, Miss Duffie.
Wherever were you're born? Ay twenty, I say that I thy six blocks
in the navy yard. You justasked you to be a bird plate,
not your hobby. Now, MissDuffie, were you ever convicted or for

(20:59):
crime? Oh it's just one,so many trafic violations and watch was the
violation nothing an intersection, it's Idon't way to w Yeah, we weren't
any car all the person by prosecution, prosecution rest and needed m well if

(21:22):
we only had some clothes, ye, thank you say oh yeah street,
oh yais okay? The cords nowand change. You know, we call
the exact thing that swami sandwich wasmade up. I think it was labor
day. Yeah, yeah, mymust have been labored there because the prettivious

(21:42):
Easter. Everybody said these sandwiches mustbe left over for Christmas. What here
was that? Well? I rememberRoosella had just been elected, yes,
and everybody said, Teddy's want tomake a wonderful president. Well thanks,
so Lenny. Next with that person, Fanny, and now tell me,

(22:04):
Finnigan, did you steal a sandwichstar cart a lullaby? You mean alibi
lallaby. I was asleep on thechurch. Well that's just member Hill Finnigan,
Laurie, I'm strump. Well,there's only one thing left to do
here, Sheila fum huh sare selaFuMB and a woman? No, Laurie,

(22:27):
lady, play, let's get thecase out. You never can tell
about these little guys, Okay,Auntie, I have an idea. What
about that lady, you know thebird that whistled the stars bangled banner,
the star spangled banner. You're rubberthe case of Salad Hodge. Just a

(22:48):
second, mister Laurie, you're allibi. Was that you were sitting down and
so couldn't reach the sandwich? Yes, mister Laurie, are you or are
you? Ain't the patriotic citizen?I am? When the berg whistled the
star spangled ben and what did youdo? Oh tag, you stood up
and stole the sandwich? Peter Laurie, You're guilty. Justice has tim the

(23:11):
case of the Stolen Salamia Stars.Well, it's time to leave Duffys for

(23:36):
the evening. But let's all meethere again next week when our guests will
be Ida la Pino. And ifyou have a half hour next Tuesday evening
at the same time, remember Duphie'swhere you'll leave me tete Auntie's thinking,
well, Dusphy, yes, right, next week, I Ala Pino,
I'm gonna ask you to help meget Duffy's face Grada scenario eyed for the
movie. You know well, Duffy, by the way, if you said

(24:00):
away from book well, why out, it's a time Huh you'd rather wait
come down A cheaper addition, okay, good night copy. This program came

(24:41):
to you from Hollywood. Here's here'sthe Blue Network.
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