November 16, 2023 • 30 mins
The titular setting for the show was "a seedy bar and grille on New York's Third Avenue". The cast had Ed Gardner as Archie, Alan Reed as Finnegan, Pattee Chapman as Miss Duffy, Jimmy Conlin as Charlie, Veda Ann Borg as Peaches La Tour, and Herb Vigran as Second Story Jackson.
The radio version of Duffy's Tavern ended in 1952. When the TV version began two years later, Gardner's involvement was limited to acting. He said, "In radio, I was the producer and the director and half the time the writer and also Archie." The TV version had Hal Roach Jr. as producer and Harve Foster as director.[6]This program was the second effort to have a TV version of Duffy's Tavern. An earlier, hour-long version was filmed for showing as part of the All Star Revue series. It was never broadcast because the Revue was sponsored by a milk company, and the barroom setting conflicted with the company's image.
The radio version of Duffy's Tavern ended in 1952. When the TV version began two years later, Gardner's involvement was limited to acting. He said, "In radio, I was the producer and the director and half the time the writer and also Archie." The TV version had Hal Roach Jr. as producer and Harve Foster as director.[6]This program was the second effort to have a TV version of Duffy's Tavern. An earlier, hour-long version was filmed for showing as part of the All Star Revue series. It was never broadcast because the Revue was sponsored by a milk company, and the barroom setting conflicted with the company's image.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
The Special Service Division and bite youSoldiers, sailors and Marines of the United
Nations to drop in at Duffy's tavern. Hello, Duffy's wall, you ate
(00:24):
mate, d ought you to managespaking. Duffy ain't here, Hello Duffy
for Duffy, you know we gotcoming here tonight. Susan Hayward and Frank
buck all right, well, Heywardknocks him dead and fuck brings him back
alive. What what does Susan Haywardlook like? Well, Duffy, remember
(00:46):
the first letter Missus Duffy wrote you, yeah before she hooked you. Remember
it was a letter describing herself toyou. Well, Susan actually looks like
that. Uh, Frank Buck,well, he looks more like Missus Duffy.
(01:07):
Hey, Duffy. If I gotmarried, say to this Hayward,
dame, would you give me araise? A raise? A raise?
Would you lower my salary now youcan han me? Huh? Look,
Look, I make fifteen bucks aweek. Say what overtime tips and bonuses?
(01:29):
It comes to fifteen a quarter.How can I support a wife and
family on that though? Huh?Send one of the kids out to work?
What kids? I ain't even heldtheir hand. Yet, Oh,
oh, why argue with you?I listen to this, Miss Duffy,
a poem to nature by anonymous Archie. Oh mon of nature, modern nature?
(01:55):
How could anybody hate you? Whatare you talking about? Nature?
My stuffy? You know you ain'tlived till you've slept out in the open
with the eight for a pillar anda blue sky for a blanket, Artie.
Have you been knocked out of yourroom again? Certainly not. I
just happened to be a guy withred hemogoblins in his blood, a guy
(02:20):
that likes to get away, getaway from civilization once in a while.
Why because it brings out the realmeans, That's why. Besides, I
read in this movie magazine that SusanHaywood goes for the fact of nature back
of guy hu Well, and SusanHayward's in for a big thrill tonight.
Thanks when Frank buffets here. Nowthere Archie is a real outdoor man.
(02:46):
Oh yeah, I bet you.I've been out of as many doors as
he has. Stuff. You justwatched that Hayward mouth one look at me
and she'll sweap me right off herfeet all the movie dods, Archie,
if you men only knew how muchmess owt of that movie stars use?
How much rouge, lipstick, eyeshadow, face powder, eyebrow, pencil,
(03:09):
vanish and cream, cold cream,night cream, day cream, chin cream,
neck cream, perfume, and turletwater. How do you know they
use all that? Of course Iuse them too, and I'm a natural
beauty archie. Did you ever seea movie star when they got up in
(03:32):
the morning? No? But uhsomeday I hope so, and that so
happens, Miss Duffy to give prejudicethem dames is just as beautiful in the
morning as they are arrested the day. How would you know? Because I
read an article by a Beverly Hillsmilkman. Tell me about Hollywood stars.
(03:55):
Oh hello, And again they aresaid, Frank Buck can hear yet?
Uh No, But when he does, I think you better stay under cover.
He might throw a net over you. I'm not just to meet him,
ut you know, I'm starting alittle sew of my own in my
backyard. So far, I gota track, a dog, and a
(04:15):
fox. A fox haven't funny?What kind of fox? Elver? No
terrier? And again Frank Buck isonly interested in wild game man kind of
various animals kind of show a carnivals. There's nothing to a kind like that.
(04:39):
They're going through a jungle, Walkup to a line, look the
line in the eye, grab himby the legs, tickle him under the
chin to Oh boy, that's fun, fun, yeah, especially if you
throw it to a day man again. Well, officer Clancy, by Clancy,
(05:00):
and you're watching the parade last week, you look mighty shove when my
pete fent mighty flats. Well,why didn't you try to get mounted?
Dude? What's and ride a horsefor eight hours? You know this way
I can at least go home andSophie feet, I know what you mean,
(05:23):
Clancy, Why don't you stick around? You know what? Frank Buck
is coming down here tonight. FrankBuck? Who might he be? The
big game hunter? The guy thatbrings them animals back to line, brings
them back where to here? Whatfor? To look at them? Who
wants to look at them? Whowants to look at them? Everybody?
Not me? Well he brings themback anyway? Who asked them to?
(05:46):
Nobody asked them to. But ifhe asked me, the jerk to be
doing it. That is how hemakes his living bringing animals over here,
and what happens when he gets himover here? People look at them,
not me. You main't decay thatif you saw a hippoponamus, you wouldn't
look at it. And how wouldI know it was hippoponamus because of the
(06:06):
sign that says hippopontamus. If Icould spell a word like hippoponamus, I'd
be out taking besides some exactly,Clancy, you want nothing but a thick
head of dope, I think,and I you haven't, not saying a
lot? Okay, okay, whatelse? Is? No? Not a
(06:30):
thing? I think I'll be runningalong now watching a song, Clancy.
(06:55):
We will now hear that beautiful ballad. I just catched your picture good night,
sung by clock Dennis at tannat who'shappy to sink for a five minute.
I just kissed your picture good night. And now, dear, I'll
(07:16):
turn down the line your picture needs. My pillow works like a charm,
it seems, for you steal throughmy pillow into my dream. You know
(07:39):
we're not really off, for we'restill in each other's home. So till
the dawn, my darling, I'msure that I'll sleep high, for I
(08:01):
just kissed your picture. Go.No, your picture neath my pillow works
like a charm, it seems foryou steal through my pillow into mydrys.
(08:26):
You know we're not rely of forwe're still in me others f So till
the dawn, my tarling. I'msure that I'll sleep time or I just
(08:54):
kiss your picture? Oh the road? Pardon me? Is your name arching?
(09:18):
No, I'm bengagant, but Iknow who you are. Oh chos
in Heywood? Sweet, got yourtensus mixed? That's Frank Buck. Oh
(09:39):
oh well, mister Buck, welcometo the interior of Dakas duffy s.
By the way, how do youlike that joined game? I see,
I've never seen a knight from anagerie. I like trying to be a good
manager. I met the buck.How's there things in a big game game?
Man? Pretty good? Well?Orders keep coming in ortage. What
(10:01):
do you mean ortis Well, that'show I work. Archie zoos and circuses.
Tell me what kind of animals theywant, and I go out and
bring them back. You mean aguy, right your leonard and says dear
mister fuck, please send one dozenhyenas a sorted six left, and then
six crying it meant something like that. Well it's something like that, Archie
(10:28):
the pardon. How much would atiger court me? What do you want
with a tiger? Oh cher ourhouse, we got very big marks.
Well ifen theyking a tiger would costyou about two thousand dollars. Oh dude,
star treason the book? What chichetiger would I get for that?
(10:50):
Or tiger about ten ft long?How high? About four beats? No
good couldn't get in the little mouseholls? Oh, mister buck, have
you met missus Duffy? Miss Duffy, I greet you with the words of
the African mamba's tribe. Up amatch on MANABOUTI blackwise? I'm sure?
(11:18):
Uh, Miss the Buck, I'dlike to ask you a question, what
did you ever capture an animal knownas a Persian dyed muskrat? A person
dyed muskrat? I never heard ofit, I knew it that dear of
coovidy kind of tell me her forcod is genuine and my name? Well,
(11:43):
what kind of a code is yours? South American wild plush? Did
you ever catch your wild plush?Mit the buck? Not yet? Well,
I know, of course he didn't. The man the man who saw
me the coke, cause they're veryhard to catch, you see, they
they got touched short hands, it'snothing to grab hold up. You know,
(12:07):
it's even harder to catch than awild more hair You, mister buck,
you must have a thrill in life. Oh I don't know. Oh,
don't be modest. You blocked yourswith death plenty of times, I
bet, and I bet you don'tthink no more of stubbing with a lion
or a tiger than I do witha fella. Uh uh, mister buck,
(12:33):
Uh tell me, uh, whatwas your most swelling experience? Well,
there was a wild taper that wastough, a wild wi, a
wild taper, a beast I considered, uh fairday harmless. I found him
with a badly cut back. Itried to put the ointment on the brooms.
Suddenly the taper world charged me andbart is hiding my stomach, knock
(12:56):
me out of my back. Irealized the danger, and yeah, I'm
an idiot boy. Of course,the big became Bunny in the nick of
time and beating pure to beat thestall boy that was a cookstall ck and
zarril sob he saying hust was agenuine Persian diet. Uh oh, what
was you saying about the taper?Oh, miss DOFFI h how you are
(13:20):
locoach just came in the tomato fromHollywood. Please a man in Holly one
day? I know as tomatoes.Uh, mister Buck, Uh, why
don't you uh go on to thetable and uh tell me Stuffie the rest
(13:43):
of that story about the taper.Oh yeah, mister Duck, You're a
very interesting I'll never go to thezool again without thinking of you. He
her yard her her look art.Why did you rush off, mister Buck?
Why did I brush him off?The finnegan? How many big game
(14:05):
hunt do you think Miss Haywood wantsto meet? Uh? Good evening,
Miss hay would uh mss say,I would uh allow me to greet you
in the words of the African Suamitrot Uh Appalachian okrah gumbo, Tim Buck
(14:28):
too, you welcome, Miss Hey? What uh may I say that?
Uh Mother nature has indeed been kindto you? No? Is that them
lips that figure them? Oh?What am I talking about you? And
(14:50):
w the lapp before? Well?Uh see it's it's nice to hear about
my nose and my lips. Butoh what am I talking about. Uh,
you've been flapped in the face before. We don't get me wrong.
Frankly, to me, a nameis a tame. I just soon chucked
the whole affair in them. Goback to the jungle, the jungle.
(15:15):
Oh. Secondly, you see,I'm only here in the States, uh,
for temporarily recover from the fight ofa techie flying a techie fly?
Or does that give you a sleepingsickness? Huh? Don't you think?
My eyes open no wider than this. However, it's all part of me
(15:35):
life, you know. It's abig game hunter. See this mark coming
on? What's that from? Kick? Black Cobra? Black cobra, black
cobra, one of them? UhAfrican savages, Archie A cobra is a
(15:58):
sneak, right, you can't trustone of them. But that's the lord
of jungle. He the parish haddied right away? Uh, did I,
Trader Archie? Tell you the mostpilling experience I ever had? No,
(16:18):
But I'm sure you're going to wellif you insist. Well, sir,
Anyways, I was planning to putsome ointment on the back of a
wild tapewine t che Don't you meana taper that's the male. Anyways,
(16:41):
the female, this tapewine, leapson me. You see, before I
know it, she's foughting at mewith a mouthful of bangs. So quick
I grab it by the nostrils,which forces it to open a mouth.
Then I faint with me left andlet go of the right up a cut
and knock all her teeth out.Boyd, that was a close call,
and you were safe. No,it was still danger of being gummed to
(17:04):
death. Archie. That is avery old joke. This happened in nineteen
twenty two. Well, sir,to go on, I faces this tapewe
and raising me free hand. What'sthe other hand doing? I forgot to
(17:27):
tell you about the tiger? Anyways, there I am being attacked by the
man eating you bangy See, theirmounts is watering. They're just about to
eat eat me alive, you see. When all of a sudden, pardon
me, archie, mister Buck,did you have to come in and spoil
(17:48):
that dinner? Miss Hayward? Thisis Frank Buck. Oh how do you
do? Mister buck? Artie wasjust telling me about all of his experiences
in the jungle. Oh yes,Archie, why don't you uh go to
the jungle. Sometimes I've been througha jungle. What jungle? Scan jungle?
(18:10):
Which one the jingle jangle jungle?And stop trying to make a suck
arout of me. Mister Buck ormiss Haywood here is liable to realize that
one of us is a phony?Right, Susan, oh quiet archis the
buck? You must lead an excitinglife. What was your most thrilling experience?
(18:33):
Well, there was that uh wildtaper, a beast I considered fairly
harmless. Okay, impending in yourset, all set, I don't forget
(19:30):
falling on your hands and knees.I gotta convince this thing, uh miss
Hayward. Thought, it seems tobe an opinion around here that I'm a
phony. I wish to remove thatdoubt. It seems that Frank Buck has
intimidated that I was never in Africa. Well, were you, miss Hayward,
(19:52):
the proof? See not preaching thatone with a warm paint and the
ring in his nose, falling onhis hands and knees there just brought back
from the jungles of Tunde. Lao. Watch this, sir, here Hambo,
Miss Hayward, you are now lookingat a genuine pegman. You mean
(20:18):
you mean pigmy, oh peg man, half man, half pake uh Hambo,
say hello to miss Hayward. Ointh Hambo. How does miss Hayward
look to you? Oink oink?Kay peg Man? Tell me this.
(20:41):
Did you ever in your life seeFrank Buck in the jungle night? You
ever see me there? Y see? Miss Hayward was alliant to you.
Wait a minute, archie, whatis this creature? An African pakeman man?
Mister Buck, half man, halftake. I don't believe it.
(21:03):
What he's half man? You know, huh Archie. Why don't you quit
this African nonsense? You know youwere never there, mister Buck? Do
I look Do you like a liar? I said? Do I look like
a liar? I'll prove it,tig Man. Tell the white Goddess to
(21:30):
come in, deveiled white goddess.The White Goddess, the white goddess of
the zombie tribe. The rescued herfrom the Swami's down there and unless the
fire. You know, Oh thisshe is now a goddess. This is
mister Buck and miss Hayward. Likewise, I'm sure goddess. Uh tell me
(21:51):
friends here about yourself at age ofthree, my parents broke love jungle.
I was left off for me.Oh what jungle? Did your parents break?
Goddess? They poison how cannibal achedthem? So I was brought up
by a couple of baboons and agoddess. Ain't kidd neither? Now why
(22:21):
should you shut your track? Why? Why did she speaks like a city
girl? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, he comes from one of
the biggest cities in the jungle.Yes, I am from Chicongo. Hey
ya, do you need any furtherproof? Just a second, that goddess
(22:41):
said, what is your the chantof your jungle? Uh? Wait,
it's a chant? What I thinkit is? It's a song you're asking
for trouble, Goddess, let themhave it the chair of the jong.
(23:08):
Shortly after this, I left Africa. Hello, then the chat of the
Dogle. I wonder that posing alwaysscreaming a rep m sat having to f
(23:33):
night and I would never bring herback alive. Also, Jewel, its
cool to me. What are yousaying, miss Heywood? Are you convinced?
(24:15):
Yes, I'm convinced that that Ifinally met somebody I could really be
interested in. That's wonderful. Jolleyglout now and try to make arrangements.
Oh, I didn't mean you,Archie. Huh, you're going out with
Frank? But no then who Tambo? Now? Before we leave Duffy's tavern,
(24:49):
lave Us put a couple of nickelsin Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's jukebox with
the feet meet the beat while theplatters spinning the needles in the grove.
And here's the first number coming up. The battish amber. Duffy's Tavern was
(29:04):
rebroadcast especially for you men and womenin the Armed Forces of the United Nations
by the Special Service Division of theWar Department of the United States of America.
(30:02):
Resort to other seat computed Father Ragand Bracatac
The Special Service Division and bite youSoldiers, sailors and Marines of the United
Nations to drop in at Duffy's tavern. Hello, Duffy's wall, you ate
(00:24):
mate, d ought you to managespaking. Duffy ain't here, Hello Duffy
for Duffy, you know we gotcoming here tonight. Susan Hayward and Frank
buck all right, well, Heywardknocks him dead and fuck brings him back
alive. What what does Susan Haywardlook like? Well, Duffy, remember
(00:46):
the first letter Missus Duffy wrote you, yeah before she hooked you. Remember
it was a letter describing herself toyou. Well, Susan actually looks like
that. Uh, Frank Buck,well, he looks more like Missus Duffy.
(01:07):
Hey, Duffy. If I gotmarried, say to this Hayward,
dame, would you give me araise? A raise? A raise?
Would you lower my salary now youcan han me? Huh? Look,
Look, I make fifteen bucks aweek. Say what overtime tips and bonuses?
(01:29):
It comes to fifteen a quarter.How can I support a wife and
family on that though? Huh?Send one of the kids out to work?
What kids? I ain't even heldtheir hand. Yet, Oh,
oh, why argue with you?I listen to this, Miss Duffy,
a poem to nature by anonymous Archie. Oh mon of nature, modern nature?
(01:55):
How could anybody hate you? Whatare you talking about? Nature?
My stuffy? You know you ain'tlived till you've slept out in the open
with the eight for a pillar anda blue sky for a blanket, Artie.
Have you been knocked out of yourroom again? Certainly not. I
just happened to be a guy withred hemogoblins in his blood, a guy
(02:20):
that likes to get away, getaway from civilization once in a while.
Why because it brings out the realmeans, That's why. Besides, I
read in this movie magazine that SusanHaywood goes for the fact of nature back
of guy hu Well, and SusanHayward's in for a big thrill tonight.
Thanks when Frank buffets here. Nowthere Archie is a real outdoor man.
(02:46):
Oh yeah, I bet you.I've been out of as many doors as
he has. Stuff. You justwatched that Hayward mouth one look at me
and she'll sweap me right off herfeet all the movie dods, Archie,
if you men only knew how muchmess owt of that movie stars use?
How much rouge, lipstick, eyeshadow, face powder, eyebrow, pencil,
(03:09):
vanish and cream, cold cream,night cream, day cream, chin cream,
neck cream, perfume, and turletwater. How do you know they
use all that? Of course Iuse them too, and I'm a natural
beauty archie. Did you ever seea movie star when they got up in
(03:32):
the morning? No? But uhsomeday I hope so, and that so
happens, Miss Duffy to give prejudicethem dames is just as beautiful in the
morning as they are arrested the day. How would you know? Because I
read an article by a Beverly Hillsmilkman. Tell me about Hollywood stars.
(03:55):
Oh hello, And again they aresaid, Frank Buck can hear yet?
Uh No, But when he does, I think you better stay under cover.
He might throw a net over you. I'm not just to meet him,
ut you know, I'm starting alittle sew of my own in my
backyard. So far, I gota track, a dog, and a
(04:15):
fox. A fox haven't funny?What kind of fox? Elver? No
terrier? And again Frank Buck isonly interested in wild game man kind of
various animals kind of show a carnivals. There's nothing to a kind like that.
(04:39):
They're going through a jungle, Walkup to a line, look the
line in the eye, grab himby the legs, tickle him under the
chin to Oh boy, that's fun, fun, yeah, especially if you
throw it to a day man again. Well, officer Clancy, by Clancy,
(05:00):
and you're watching the parade last week, you look mighty shove when my
pete fent mighty flats. Well,why didn't you try to get mounted?
Dude? What's and ride a horsefor eight hours? You know this way
I can at least go home andSophie feet, I know what you mean,
(05:23):
Clancy, Why don't you stick around? You know what? Frank Buck
is coming down here tonight. FrankBuck? Who might he be? The
big game hunter? The guy thatbrings them animals back to line, brings
them back where to here? Whatfor? To look at them? Who
wants to look at them? Whowants to look at them? Everybody?
Not me? Well he brings themback anyway? Who asked them to?
(05:46):
Nobody asked them to. But ifhe asked me, the jerk to be
doing it. That is how hemakes his living bringing animals over here,
and what happens when he gets himover here? People look at them,
not me. You main't decay thatif you saw a hippoponamus, you wouldn't
look at it. And how wouldI know it was hippoponamus because of the
(06:06):
sign that says hippopontamus. If Icould spell a word like hippoponamus, I'd
be out taking besides some exactly,Clancy, you want nothing but a thick
head of dope, I think,and I you haven't, not saying a
lot? Okay, okay, whatelse? Is? No? Not a
(06:30):
thing? I think I'll be runningalong now watching a song, Clancy.
(06:55):
We will now hear that beautiful ballad. I just catched your picture good night,
sung by clock Dennis at tannat who'shappy to sink for a five minute.
I just kissed your picture good night. And now, dear, I'll
(07:16):
turn down the line your picture needs. My pillow works like a charm,
it seems, for you steal throughmy pillow into my dream. You know
(07:39):
we're not really off, for we'restill in each other's home. So till
the dawn, my darling, I'msure that I'll sleep high, for I
(08:01):
just kissed your picture. Go.No, your picture neath my pillow works
like a charm, it seems foryou steal through my pillow into mydrys.
(08:26):
You know we're not rely of forwe're still in me others f So till
the dawn, my tarling. I'msure that I'll sleep time or I just
(08:54):
kiss your picture? Oh the road? Pardon me? Is your name arching?
(09:18):
No, I'm bengagant, but Iknow who you are. Oh chos
in Heywood? Sweet, got yourtensus mixed? That's Frank Buck. Oh
(09:39):
oh well, mister Buck, welcometo the interior of Dakas duffy s.
By the way, how do youlike that joined game? I see,
I've never seen a knight from anagerie. I like trying to be a good
manager. I met the buck.How's there things in a big game game?
Man? Pretty good? Well?Orders keep coming in ortage. What
(10:01):
do you mean ortis Well, that'show I work. Archie zoos and circuses.
Tell me what kind of animals theywant, and I go out and
bring them back. You mean aguy, right your leonard and says dear
mister fuck, please send one dozenhyenas a sorted six left, and then
six crying it meant something like that. Well it's something like that, Archie
(10:28):
the pardon. How much would atiger court me? What do you want
with a tiger? Oh cher ourhouse, we got very big marks.
Well ifen theyking a tiger would costyou about two thousand dollars. Oh dude,
star treason the book? What chichetiger would I get for that?
(10:50):
Or tiger about ten ft long?How high? About four beats? No
good couldn't get in the little mouseholls? Oh, mister buck, have
you met missus Duffy? Miss Duffy, I greet you with the words of
the African mamba's tribe. Up amatch on MANABOUTI blackwise? I'm sure?
(11:18):
Uh, Miss the Buck, I'dlike to ask you a question, what
did you ever capture an animal knownas a Persian dyed muskrat? A person
dyed muskrat? I never heard ofit, I knew it that dear of
coovidy kind of tell me her forcod is genuine and my name? Well,
(11:43):
what kind of a code is yours? South American wild plush? Did
you ever catch your wild plush?Mit the buck? Not yet? Well,
I know, of course he didn't. The man the man who saw
me the coke, cause they're veryhard to catch, you see, they
they got touched short hands, it'snothing to grab hold up. You know,
(12:07):
it's even harder to catch than awild more hair You, mister buck,
you must have a thrill in life. Oh I don't know. Oh,
don't be modest. You blocked yourswith death plenty of times, I
bet, and I bet you don'tthink no more of stubbing with a lion
or a tiger than I do witha fella. Uh uh, mister buck,
(12:33):
Uh tell me, uh, whatwas your most swelling experience? Well,
there was a wild taper that wastough, a wild wi, a
wild taper, a beast I considered, uh fairday harmless. I found him
with a badly cut back. Itried to put the ointment on the brooms.
Suddenly the taper world charged me andbart is hiding my stomach, knock
(12:56):
me out of my back. Irealized the danger, and yeah, I'm
an idiot boy. Of course,the big became Bunny in the nick of
time and beating pure to beat thestall boy that was a cookstall ck and
zarril sob he saying hust was agenuine Persian diet. Uh oh, what
was you saying about the taper?Oh, miss DOFFI h how you are
(13:20):
locoach just came in the tomato fromHollywood. Please a man in Holly one
day? I know as tomatoes.Uh, mister Buck, Uh, why
don't you uh go on to thetable and uh tell me Stuffie the rest
(13:43):
of that story about the taper.Oh yeah, mister Duck, You're a
very interesting I'll never go to thezool again without thinking of you. He
her yard her her look art.Why did you rush off, mister Buck?
Why did I brush him off?The finnegan? How many big game
(14:05):
hunt do you think Miss Haywood wantsto meet? Uh? Good evening,
Miss hay would uh mss say,I would uh allow me to greet you
in the words of the African Suamitrot Uh Appalachian okrah gumbo, Tim Buck
(14:28):
too, you welcome, Miss Hey? What uh may I say that?
Uh Mother nature has indeed been kindto you? No? Is that them
lips that figure them? Oh?What am I talking about you? And
(14:50):
w the lapp before? Well?Uh see it's it's nice to hear about
my nose and my lips. Butoh what am I talking about. Uh,
you've been flapped in the face before. We don't get me wrong.
Frankly, to me, a nameis a tame. I just soon chucked
the whole affair in them. Goback to the jungle, the jungle.
(15:15):
Oh. Secondly, you see,I'm only here in the States, uh,
for temporarily recover from the fight ofa techie flying a techie fly?
Or does that give you a sleepingsickness? Huh? Don't you think?
My eyes open no wider than this. However, it's all part of me
(15:35):
life, you know. It's abig game hunter. See this mark coming
on? What's that from? Kick? Black Cobra? Black cobra, black
cobra, one of them? UhAfrican savages, Archie A cobra is a
(15:58):
sneak, right, you can't trustone of them. But that's the lord
of jungle. He the parish haddied right away? Uh, did I,
Trader Archie? Tell you the mostpilling experience I ever had? No,
(16:18):
But I'm sure you're going to wellif you insist. Well, sir,
Anyways, I was planning to putsome ointment on the back of a
wild tapewine t che Don't you meana taper that's the male. Anyways,
(16:41):
the female, this tapewine, leapson me. You see, before I
know it, she's foughting at mewith a mouthful of bangs. So quick
I grab it by the nostrils,which forces it to open a mouth.
Then I faint with me left andlet go of the right up a cut
and knock all her teeth out.Boyd, that was a close call,
and you were safe. No,it was still danger of being gummed to
(17:04):
death. Archie. That is avery old joke. This happened in nineteen
twenty two. Well, sir,to go on, I faces this tapewe
and raising me free hand. What'sthe other hand doing? I forgot to
(17:27):
tell you about the tiger? Anyways, there I am being attacked by the
man eating you bangy See, theirmounts is watering. They're just about to
eat eat me alive, you see. When all of a sudden, pardon
me, archie, mister Buck,did you have to come in and spoil
(17:48):
that dinner? Miss Hayward? Thisis Frank Buck. Oh how do you
do? Mister buck? Artie wasjust telling me about all of his experiences
in the jungle. Oh yes,Archie, why don't you uh go to
the jungle. Sometimes I've been througha jungle. What jungle? Scan jungle?
(18:10):
Which one the jingle jangle jungle?And stop trying to make a suck
arout of me. Mister Buck ormiss Haywood here is liable to realize that
one of us is a phony?Right, Susan, oh quiet archis the
buck? You must lead an excitinglife. What was your most thrilling experience?
(18:33):
Well, there was that uh wildtaper, a beast I considered fairly
harmless. Okay, impending in yourset, all set, I don't forget
(19:30):
falling on your hands and knees.I gotta convince this thing, uh miss
Hayward. Thought, it seems tobe an opinion around here that I'm a
phony. I wish to remove thatdoubt. It seems that Frank Buck has
intimidated that I was never in Africa. Well, were you, miss Hayward,
(19:52):
the proof? See not preaching thatone with a warm paint and the
ring in his nose, falling onhis hands and knees there just brought back
from the jungles of Tunde. Lao. Watch this, sir, here Hambo,
Miss Hayward, you are now lookingat a genuine pegman. You mean
(20:18):
you mean pigmy, oh peg man, half man, half pake uh Hambo,
say hello to miss Hayward. Ointh Hambo. How does miss Hayward
look to you? Oink oink?Kay peg Man? Tell me this.
(20:41):
Did you ever in your life seeFrank Buck in the jungle night? You
ever see me there? Y see? Miss Hayward was alliant to you.
Wait a minute, archie, whatis this creature? An African pakeman man?
Mister Buck, half man, halftake. I don't believe it.
(21:03):
What he's half man? You know, huh Archie. Why don't you quit
this African nonsense? You know youwere never there, mister Buck? Do
I look Do you like a liar? I said? Do I look like
a liar? I'll prove it,tig Man. Tell the white Goddess to
(21:30):
come in, deveiled white goddess.The White Goddess, the white goddess of
the zombie tribe. The rescued herfrom the Swami's down there and unless the
fire. You know, Oh thisshe is now a goddess. This is
mister Buck and miss Hayward. Likewise, I'm sure goddess. Uh tell me
(21:51):
friends here about yourself at age ofthree, my parents broke love jungle.
I was left off for me.Oh what jungle? Did your parents break?
Goddess? They poison how cannibal achedthem? So I was brought up
by a couple of baboons and agoddess. Ain't kidd neither? Now why
(22:21):
should you shut your track? Why? Why did she speaks like a city
girl? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, he comes from one of
the biggest cities in the jungle.Yes, I am from Chicongo. Hey
ya, do you need any furtherproof? Just a second, that goddess
(22:41):
said, what is your the chantof your jungle? Uh? Wait,
it's a chant? What I thinkit is? It's a song you're asking
for trouble, Goddess, let themhave it the chair of the jong.
(23:08):
Shortly after this, I left Africa. Hello, then the chat of the
Dogle. I wonder that posing alwaysscreaming a rep m sat having to f
(23:33):
night and I would never bring herback alive. Also, Jewel, its
cool to me. What are yousaying, miss Heywood? Are you convinced?
(24:15):
Yes, I'm convinced that that Ifinally met somebody I could really be
interested in. That's wonderful. Jolleyglout now and try to make arrangements.
Oh, I didn't mean you,Archie. Huh, you're going out with
Frank? But no then who Tambo? Now? Before we leave Duffy's tavern,
(24:49):
lave Us put a couple of nickelsin Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's jukebox with
the feet meet the beat while theplatters spinning the needles in the grove.
And here's the first number coming up. The battish amber. Duffy's Tavern was
(29:04):
rebroadcast especially for you men and womenin the Armed Forces of the United Nations
by the Special Service Division of theWar Department of the United States of America.
(30:02):
Resort to other seat computed Father Ragand Bracatac
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