September 29, 2025 • 19 mins
Summary
In this episode of Echoes Through Eternity, Dr. Jeffery D. Skinner explores the intersection of trauma and church planting. He shares personal experiences of trauma, the impact it has on leadership, and the importance of healing for both leaders and their communities. The conversation emphasizes the need for awareness of trauma in church settings and offers practical steps for leaders to address their own wounds and foster healing in their congregations.
Takeaways
Every planter brings their past into the planting process.
Unresolved trauma can resurface in leadership.
Church planting occurs in broken environments.
Trauma awareness is crucial for church teams.
Healing is a vital part of the Christian journey.
Jesus not only forgives but also heals.
Scars can become testimonies of healing.
Counseling and mentorship are essential for leaders.
Building rhythms of rest can prevent burnout.
Trauma doesn't have to define your ministry.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/echoes-through-eternity-with-dr-jeffery-skinner--5523198/support.
Echoes Through Eternity Guiding church planters and pastors to plant seeds of prayer, holiness, and courage that outlast a lifetime. contact drjefferydskinner@protonmail.com
In this episode of Echoes Through Eternity, Dr. Jeffery D. Skinner explores the intersection of trauma and church planting. He shares personal experiences of trauma, the impact it has on leadership, and the importance of healing for both leaders and their communities. The conversation emphasizes the need for awareness of trauma in church settings and offers practical steps for leaders to address their own wounds and foster healing in their congregations.
Takeaways
Every planter brings their past into the planting process.
Unresolved trauma can resurface in leadership.
Church planting occurs in broken environments.
Trauma awareness is crucial for church teams.
Healing is a vital part of the Christian journey.
Jesus not only forgives but also heals.
Scars can become testimonies of healing.
Counseling and mentorship are essential for leaders.
Building rhythms of rest can prevent burnout.
Trauma doesn't have to define your ministry.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/echoes-through-eternity-with-dr-jeffery-skinner--5523198/support.
Echoes Through Eternity Guiding church planters and pastors to plant seeds of prayer, holiness, and courage that outlast a lifetime. contact drjefferydskinner@protonmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Marcus Aurelius said, what we do in life echoes through Eternity.
What is your life echoing through eternity? Welcome to Echoes
through Eternity with Doctor Jeffrey Skinner. Our mission is to inspire,
engage and encourage leaders from across the globe to plant
missional churches and be servant leaders. So join us and
(00:22):
hear the stories of servant leaders reverberating lives as God
echoes them through eternity. Brought to you by Missional Church
Planting and Leadership Development and Dynamic Church Planning International.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Welcome into Echoes through Eternity. I am your host, doctor
Jeffrey D. Skinner. What is God echoing through your life today? Well,
this is a brand new episode obviously of Echos through Attorney,
but our topic today is when trauma meets church, the
hidden weight in the room. I remember when I planted
(00:56):
my first church, I carried a lot of unheal trauma.
At the time, recognized it for what it was. I
thought it was my passion, my drive, my protective instincts
were signs of strong leadership. Looking back over the years,
I've recognized and I can clearly see how my wounds
shaped those early years I had. Just a few years earlier,
(01:18):
my father and mother were in a very serious car accident.
My mom actually has an upcoming book that we will
be talking about more in a future broadcast. I'll have
her on to talk about it and discuss what that
meant for her and what the book is about. So
she tells a full story, but here's just a little
bit of it, and that is that she and my
(01:41):
father were in a really bad car accident. They were pastoring
in Opulaca, Alabama. They were coming back from a church event.
They had two parishioners in the back of their car,
and a young man who was late for a flying lesson,
was playing with his tape deck at the time, this
was all the testimony of the depositions, and that was
(02:03):
not paying close attention. Speeding had a jeep with a
really big bumper on the front of it, and he
was high up, had oversized tires and broadsided my parents.
The bumper didn't hit the side of the door, it
hit the window where my dad was driving, and then
that shoved him into my mom and crushed her entire
(02:25):
left side, forced the two ladies in the back together,
and it killed everyone in a car except for my mom.
We were thrown into that. We had to, you know,
take care of my mom. My wife and I were
newly married at the time. My mom had to move
in with us. It was a very trying time, very
traumatizing time, and at the time counseling wasn't a big thing. Though.
(02:50):
The Lord used that incident and redeemed my mom's story
and she eventually became a counselor who specialized in trauma.
She worked at Pastoral Institute out in Columbus, Georgia, and
if you know anything about the military, and you know
that's home of the Infantry for Benning. And so through
that trauma, the Lord and her healing, she became a
(03:12):
counselor specializing trauma and healed a lot of soldiers. She
became an agent of healing, and the Holy Spirit used
her to heal a lot of soldiers who had been
wounded in that process there. And so, you know, it's
just one example of how God uses that trauma that
(03:33):
I was dealing with at the time and didn't recognize.
One day, my trauma collided with the trauma of someone
in our congregation. This individual misunderstood something My wife had
said and lashed out at her verbally, and in that moment,
my protective instinct, already heightened by my unresolved pain, took
over and I didn't respond with grace. I reacted out
(03:56):
of hurt. The results were devastating. We had a beautiful
ministry serving people in recovery, men and women wrestling with
addiction and other deep wounds. And what happened was when
they saw the conflict between me and this of the person,
it re traumatized them. Their flight or fight instincts took
(04:19):
over and most fled overnight. To thriving ministry collapsed. The
last thing you want when you've been re traumatized or traumatized,
to be re traumatized, because trauma upon trauma upon trauma
just wounds even more deeply and it's that much more
difficult to heal. I grieve to this day. I greeve deeply.
(04:39):
Then I continue to grieve deeply, and yet God used
that painful experience to teach me a vital truth. If
we don't let Christ till our trauma, we will rewound
the very people He has called us to serve. So
this first part I want to deal with the planters
on trauma. My story is not unique. Every plan brings
(05:00):
their past into the planting process. Sometimes those stories are
marked by blessing. Other times they carry stars, abuse, betrayal, rejection,
or loss. John Wesley reminds us that grace is not
only about forgiveness, it is about healing. My own tradition
of Wesley. Wesleyan says that that it's not just salvation
(05:23):
is not just about saving our souls. Salvation is about
healing the entire person. Holiness and wholeness are interrelated and interconnected.
The more whole you are, the more healed you are,
the more you're able to live out that christ like life,
(05:44):
that vision of flourishing that Jesus paints so beautifully within
the scriptures there But unless we allow God to sanctify
our wounds, those wounds will surface in our leadership. Betrayal
may lead to distrust, a pein. Abandonment may lead to
clinging tightly to members. Abuse may lead to either domineering
(06:07):
control or fearful avoidance. Unhealed trauma doesn't stay hidden elite.
There's also trauma in the planting process. Even if you
begin healthy, the planting process that itself can become can
be traumatic. My story bears witness to that. But here
are other ways it shows up. Financial strain and that
(06:28):
stabilized destabilizes families, relational conflict in launch teams, loneliness and
isolation from established churches, burnout from relentless demands. I carried
my wounds into the plant, but the planting process is
self added new layers to the wounds. It's no surprise
that the trauma multiplies when unaddressed. Another ingredient is the
(06:53):
trauma in the people you reach. Church planting is not
done in sanitized environments. God's ends us into broken neighborhoods
to broken people, and broken people carry trauma. When triggered,
their brains don't think critically, they enter a fight or
flight mode. A lot of times there the fight mode
it comes out in conflict or lashing out division. Flight
(07:17):
can look like passive, can be passive, aggressive, withdrawal, uninvolved
in the process, not showing up for outreach events, or
even church itself, withholding financial support, disappearing from inside the
community at church itself. These are passive ways that it
shows up in flight mode, and sometimes it's just a
complete abandonment of the work. I remember when I was planning.
(07:42):
We had an entire vacation Bible School plan for the summer.
It wasn't just one week. This was to be a
summer camp type experience or the entire community. We had
written our own curriculum. We had everything planned out, and
then one of the people who are supposed to lead it,
her trauma was triggered in the demands of that process,
(08:04):
and right before the vacation Bible School launched, she left
and it all fell on my wife and I and
a couple of other people within a church there. It
led to a lot of hurt, a lot of misunderstanding,
and a time of conflict between those who were resentful
(08:26):
of this person leaving and the person who had left.
And so again I use that as a cautionary tale
that that's what can happen. And you know, within when
trauma is not unresolved, when it's not unhealed. And so
my reaction collabed with their wounds, and they chose flight.
They weren't rejecting God's grace, they were fleeing retraumatization. Even
(08:51):
if the trauma wasn't directly from us, it was from
pressure and demands that were placed upon them and the
responsibility of planning in an entire vacation Bible school with
a small style trauma on your launch team. Look, in
an ideal world, you have a perfectly healthy launch team
(09:11):
and everyone comes to the table one hundred sent hole.
But that's not reality. Everyone is living with some sort
of wound or pain. Maybe not all the pain rises
to the level of trauma, but we've had a lot
of experience. We've had a lot of trauma in our society, especially.
I don't necessarily know that it began at nine to eleven,
(09:33):
but it seemed like since nine to eleven, every year
at nine eleven, we see those images rebroadcast on TV.
We watched them for weeks upon weeks upon weeks, and
then COVID has affected this next generation. If the next
generation had not seen the replays and the recordings of
nine to eleven, they have their own trauma related to COVID.
(09:55):
And so my point is that our launch team, which
is going to be made up of the peace people
within the community, they will likely bring their own trauma
to the church as well. Trauma doesn't just live outside,
it shows up inside. Your core Launch team members make
carry that unhald pain that surfaces under the stress of
church planting us. The story I was telling you about earlier.
(10:17):
In my case, my own trauma collided with another leaders.
The clash became a spark that spread through the entire ministry.
A launch team or core group without awareness can become
a battlefield where trauma plays out unchecked. This is a
landmine whom there's about twelve different land mines that we
talk about in the DCPI curriculum. And this is not
(10:40):
necessarily one that is mentioned. It may it comb it
could be addressed in maturity Christian maturity. You want to
make sure that the leader is mature, and if they're not,
that that has a landmine. But I think it deserves
us on trauma, unresolved trauma and unreserved I think really
(11:01):
deserves its own land mind. And of course it's not
meant to be an exhaustive list, and DCPI tells you
it's not an exhausted list. But let me tell you
a little bit about my theology of trauma. The good
news is that Jesus redeems trauma. I told you about
my mom's book that will be coming out soon, that's
going to the publisher. Now we're in the final stages
of that do the editing process. And I'll told you
(11:24):
about my book coming out in twenty twenty six, Broken Halleu.
And you know those are those are redemption stories of
how God has used that pain and betrayal and injustice
to bring about wonderful things. He didn't cause the pain,
He did not will for that pain to happen, but
He certainly used that pain. The scripture that where for
(11:48):
all things worked for the good of those in Christ Jesus.
I know I've blundered that scripture off the top of
my head, but do you know the one I'm talking
about there? And that's just you know, an example of
how God redeem that pain and so he bore. My
theology of pain is that he bore betrayal, injustice, violence
and grief. And yet when he rose, he still carried
(12:10):
his scars. They were no longer open wounds, they were
testimonies of healing. I think that was on full display.
We had another speaking of trauma. We had another violent
event that was televised worldwide, over and over, and if
not televised or replayed on television, it was all over
social media. You didn't have to seek it out. It
(12:33):
just showed up in your feed, and that was the
one of Charlie Kirk being shot. And regardless of whether
you agreed or disagreed with his views and his politics,
and whether you felt like he was a Christian nationalist
or not, or whether you felt like his theology was
good or not, the man didn't deserve to die. But
that trauma was that was broadcast everywhere and replayed on
(12:57):
social media over and over again, traumatizing everyone that saw that.
The ramifications of that have not been seen. And I've
made a post on social media after Erica Kirk, his wife,
said that she forgave the shooter at the funeral. She
said that, and that that reverberated, and I just had
(13:18):
a thought that came to my mind. Is very controversial,
and I wasn't suggesting that she do it, but it
would have to be her decision. But what if she
asked for our party. She's already said that she really
is not advocating for the death penalty. That the government,
the state government is going to do what they do,
and the death penalty is on the table that in
(13:39):
that shooting there, and from a human justice point of view,
absolutely it needs to be on the table. He not
only endangered he not only killed Charlie Kirk, he endangered
the thousands of others, including Erica Kirk and her children,
and they witnessed all of that life. And so yeah,
(14:00):
I mean, from our standpoint, he deserves to die. But
from the theology of the Cross, we all deserve death,
and yet we live. From the theology of the Cross,
we don't deserve any pardon whatsoever. That's why mercy and
grace are such a huge part of the Christian story
and a huge part of our story. And so if
(14:22):
Jesus bore those sin I mean it bore our sins
of injustice and betrayal and violence and grief and everything
in between, we also and bore those scars. We can
also be healed. That doesn't mean that we'll forget, because
we still bear the scars of those of the wounds,
(14:42):
the scars of the trauma. But in Wesleyan tradition, my
own tradition, sanctifying grace is not just about moral purity.
It's about being perfected in love. It is both an
instantaneous process and that God absolutely forgives of our sins
and in that moment we are perfected in love. But
(15:02):
then we continue to growing grace, We continue to learn
what love is, we continue to learn how to embody love,
and then we become a healing presence within that community.
Within our communities, there's a love that heals wounds, transforms scars,
and empowers us to love others well. So here's some
(15:22):
practical steps that we can go through. Deal with your
trauma before leading others. Seek counseling, mentoring, spiritual direction. You
absolutely everybody needs a mentor, and everybody needs a spiritual director.
And I think one of the things in the counseling
community is they all have to have counselors. They have
debriefing moments, and I think that's that's key for a
(15:43):
church planter as well. He or she needs a good counselor.
You know, mentors are great for you know, kind of
helping us with the strategies of planting churches. A spiritual leader,
and sometimes they can be both. But a spiritual direction person,
a pastor that can speak into your life and hold
you account is UH is important as well. And then
(16:03):
a professional counselor that you can just kind of go to.
It's private, they are bound by privacy laws and The
only time that they can preach that privacy is if
you are going to hurt someone or if you threaten
violence against someone or yourself, then they have to tell someone.
But hopefully you're not planting a church. If those use
(16:24):
your tendencies here build rhythms of rest and Sabbath. Spiritual
exhaustion physical exhaustion are are key components of conflict and
can reopen unhealed wounds or even old wounds that can
it can open scar. Train your team and trauma awareness.
Teach them how to how fight or flight works, but
also make them aware. I think trauma awareness training is
(16:48):
incredibly important. Normalized counseling partner with Christian counselors model openness
to help preach healing, not just forgiveness. Trauma informed preaching
tells people Jesus doesn't just forgive their sins, he heals
their souls. Give you some resources. The body keeps the
score vessel mind coulk. That's a b E s s
(17:08):
E l V A n der k o l K.
So the body shapes the score. The emotionally healthy leader
Peter Scazero and healthy healing the wounds of trauma. Bible
based resource used globally. So those are three really good
resources I recommend to you in the conclusion, leading from
(17:29):
stars not wounds. I will never forget the collapse of
that recovery ministry. It broke me, but it changed me.
Church planting is holy work, but is heavy work. Trauma
will be part of that journey, yours, the process, their teams,
and the people you reach. But trauma doesn't have to
define your ministry. In Christ, wounds become scars, stars become testimonies,
(17:53):
and testimonies become echoes of eternity, reminders that God heals,
redeemed and makes all things new. So today, may you
lead out of not out of your wounds, but out
of your scars and become whole and lead others to
holiness as well. That's the end of this episode. Folks,
(18:14):
appreciate you tuning in. Please share this with your friends
and family and uh uh you others. I'm not a
perfect voice for this. I don't have a huge platform,
a few thousand listeners, but it's uh but I'm wanting
to grow, and the more I grow, the more people
can be you know, get a different perspective out there,
(18:36):
the perspective just a normal guy who's been living in
the trenches, who's not just lived in the trenches in
the past. I'll be in attrenches again soon. But I've
also been in the trenches with the other leaders as
I've coached them to plant churches and walked alongside of them,
mentoring them and coaching them as well. So you know,
share this and and uh shared on your social media, UH,
(18:59):
tell your friends about it, spread the word, and again
that helps to pay for the podcast as well. This
does have costs associated with it for hosting and broadcasting
and things like that. It's not a huge amount of money,
but the advertising helps to pay for that. So again
I ask you the question as we leave here today,
what has got it going through your life today?
Marcus Aurelius said, what we do in life echoes through Eternity.
What is your life echoing through eternity? Welcome to Echoes
through Eternity with Doctor Jeffrey Skinner. Our mission is to inspire,
engage and encourage leaders from across the globe to plant
missional churches and be servant leaders. So join us and
(00:22):
hear the stories of servant leaders reverberating lives as God
echoes them through eternity. Brought to you by Missional Church
Planting and Leadership Development and Dynamic Church Planning International.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Welcome into Echoes through Eternity. I am your host, doctor
Jeffrey D. Skinner. What is God echoing through your life today? Well,
this is a brand new episode obviously of Echos through Attorney,
but our topic today is when trauma meets church, the
hidden weight in the room. I remember when I planted
(00:56):
my first church, I carried a lot of unheal trauma.
At the time, recognized it for what it was. I
thought it was my passion, my drive, my protective instincts
were signs of strong leadership. Looking back over the years,
I've recognized and I can clearly see how my wounds
shaped those early years I had. Just a few years earlier,
(01:18):
my father and mother were in a very serious car accident.
My mom actually has an upcoming book that we will
be talking about more in a future broadcast. I'll have
her on to talk about it and discuss what that
meant for her and what the book is about. So
she tells a full story, but here's just a little
bit of it, and that is that she and my
(01:41):
father were in a really bad car accident. They were pastoring
in Opulaca, Alabama. They were coming back from a church event.
They had two parishioners in the back of their car,
and a young man who was late for a flying lesson,
was playing with his tape deck at the time, this
was all the testimony of the depositions, and that was
(02:03):
not paying close attention. Speeding had a jeep with a
really big bumper on the front of it, and he
was high up, had oversized tires and broadsided my parents.
The bumper didn't hit the side of the door, it
hit the window where my dad was driving, and then
that shoved him into my mom and crushed her entire
(02:25):
left side, forced the two ladies in the back together,
and it killed everyone in a car except for my mom.
We were thrown into that. We had to, you know,
take care of my mom. My wife and I were
newly married at the time. My mom had to move
in with us. It was a very trying time, very
traumatizing time, and at the time counseling wasn't a big thing. Though.
(02:50):
The Lord used that incident and redeemed my mom's story
and she eventually became a counselor who specialized in trauma.
She worked at Pastoral Institute out in Columbus, Georgia, and
if you know anything about the military, and you know
that's home of the Infantry for Benning. And so through
that trauma, the Lord and her healing, she became a
(03:12):
counselor specializing trauma and healed a lot of soldiers. She
became an agent of healing, and the Holy Spirit used
her to heal a lot of soldiers who had been
wounded in that process there. And so, you know, it's
just one example of how God uses that trauma that
(03:33):
I was dealing with at the time and didn't recognize.
One day, my trauma collided with the trauma of someone
in our congregation. This individual misunderstood something My wife had
said and lashed out at her verbally, and in that moment,
my protective instinct, already heightened by my unresolved pain, took
over and I didn't respond with grace. I reacted out
(03:56):
of hurt. The results were devastating. We had a beautiful
ministry serving people in recovery, men and women wrestling with
addiction and other deep wounds. And what happened was when
they saw the conflict between me and this of the person,
it re traumatized them. Their flight or fight instincts took
(04:19):
over and most fled overnight. To thriving ministry collapsed. The
last thing you want when you've been re traumatized or traumatized,
to be re traumatized, because trauma upon trauma upon trauma
just wounds even more deeply and it's that much more
difficult to heal. I grieve to this day. I greeve deeply.
(04:39):
Then I continue to grieve deeply, and yet God used
that painful experience to teach me a vital truth. If
we don't let Christ till our trauma, we will rewound
the very people He has called us to serve. So
this first part I want to deal with the planters
on trauma. My story is not unique. Every plan brings
(05:00):
their past into the planting process. Sometimes those stories are
marked by blessing. Other times they carry stars, abuse, betrayal, rejection,
or loss. John Wesley reminds us that grace is not
only about forgiveness, it is about healing. My own tradition
of Wesley. Wesleyan says that that it's not just salvation
(05:23):
is not just about saving our souls. Salvation is about
healing the entire person. Holiness and wholeness are interrelated and interconnected.
The more whole you are, the more healed you are,
the more you're able to live out that christ like life,
(05:44):
that vision of flourishing that Jesus paints so beautifully within
the scriptures there But unless we allow God to sanctify
our wounds, those wounds will surface in our leadership. Betrayal
may lead to distrust, a pein. Abandonment may lead to
clinging tightly to members. Abuse may lead to either domineering
(06:07):
control or fearful avoidance. Unhealed trauma doesn't stay hidden elite.
There's also trauma in the planting process. Even if you
begin healthy, the planting process that itself can become can
be traumatic. My story bears witness to that. But here
are other ways it shows up. Financial strain and that
(06:28):
stabilized destabilizes families, relational conflict in launch teams, loneliness and
isolation from established churches, burnout from relentless demands. I carried
my wounds into the plant, but the planting process is
self added new layers to the wounds. It's no surprise
that the trauma multiplies when unaddressed. Another ingredient is the
(06:53):
trauma in the people you reach. Church planting is not
done in sanitized environments. God's ends us into broken neighborhoods
to broken people, and broken people carry trauma. When triggered,
their brains don't think critically, they enter a fight or
flight mode. A lot of times there the fight mode
it comes out in conflict or lashing out division. Flight
(07:17):
can look like passive, can be passive, aggressive, withdrawal, uninvolved
in the process, not showing up for outreach events, or
even church itself, withholding financial support, disappearing from inside the
community at church itself. These are passive ways that it
shows up in flight mode, and sometimes it's just a
complete abandonment of the work. I remember when I was planning.
(07:42):
We had an entire vacation Bible School plan for the summer.
It wasn't just one week. This was to be a
summer camp type experience or the entire community. We had
written our own curriculum. We had everything planned out, and
then one of the people who are supposed to lead it,
her trauma was triggered in the demands of that process,
(08:04):
and right before the vacation Bible School launched, she left
and it all fell on my wife and I and
a couple of other people within a church there. It
led to a lot of hurt, a lot of misunderstanding,
and a time of conflict between those who were resentful
(08:26):
of this person leaving and the person who had left.
And so again I use that as a cautionary tale
that that's what can happen. And you know, within when
trauma is not unresolved, when it's not unhealed. And so
my reaction collabed with their wounds, and they chose flight.
They weren't rejecting God's grace, they were fleeing retraumatization. Even
(08:51):
if the trauma wasn't directly from us, it was from
pressure and demands that were placed upon them and the
responsibility of planning in an entire vacation Bible school with
a small style trauma on your launch team. Look, in
an ideal world, you have a perfectly healthy launch team
(09:11):
and everyone comes to the table one hundred sent hole.
But that's not reality. Everyone is living with some sort
of wound or pain. Maybe not all the pain rises
to the level of trauma, but we've had a lot
of experience. We've had a lot of trauma in our society, especially.
I don't necessarily know that it began at nine to eleven,
(09:33):
but it seemed like since nine to eleven, every year
at nine eleven, we see those images rebroadcast on TV.
We watched them for weeks upon weeks upon weeks, and
then COVID has affected this next generation. If the next
generation had not seen the replays and the recordings of
nine to eleven, they have their own trauma related to COVID.
(09:55):
And so my point is that our launch team, which
is going to be made up of the peace people
within the community, they will likely bring their own trauma
to the church as well. Trauma doesn't just live outside,
it shows up inside. Your core Launch team members make
carry that unhald pain that surfaces under the stress of
church planting us. The story I was telling you about earlier.
(10:17):
In my case, my own trauma collided with another leaders.
The clash became a spark that spread through the entire ministry.
A launch team or core group without awareness can become
a battlefield where trauma plays out unchecked. This is a
landmine whom there's about twelve different land mines that we
talk about in the DCPI curriculum. And this is not
(10:40):
necessarily one that is mentioned. It may it comb it
could be addressed in maturity Christian maturity. You want to
make sure that the leader is mature, and if they're not,
that that has a landmine. But I think it deserves
us on trauma, unresolved trauma and unreserved I think really
(11:01):
deserves its own land mind. And of course it's not
meant to be an exhaustive list, and DCPI tells you
it's not an exhausted list. But let me tell you
a little bit about my theology of trauma. The good
news is that Jesus redeems trauma. I told you about
my mom's book that will be coming out soon, that's
going to the publisher. Now we're in the final stages
of that do the editing process. And I'll told you
(11:24):
about my book coming out in twenty twenty six, Broken Halleu.
And you know those are those are redemption stories of
how God has used that pain and betrayal and injustice
to bring about wonderful things. He didn't cause the pain,
He did not will for that pain to happen, but
He certainly used that pain. The scripture that where for
(11:48):
all things worked for the good of those in Christ Jesus.
I know I've blundered that scripture off the top of
my head, but do you know the one I'm talking
about there? And that's just you know, an example of
how God redeem that pain and so he bore. My
theology of pain is that he bore betrayal, injustice, violence
and grief. And yet when he rose, he still carried
(12:10):
his scars. They were no longer open wounds, they were
testimonies of healing. I think that was on full display.
We had another speaking of trauma. We had another violent
event that was televised worldwide, over and over, and if
not televised or replayed on television, it was all over
social media. You didn't have to seek it out. It
(12:33):
just showed up in your feed, and that was the
one of Charlie Kirk being shot. And regardless of whether
you agreed or disagreed with his views and his politics,
and whether you felt like he was a Christian nationalist
or not, or whether you felt like his theology was
good or not, the man didn't deserve to die. But
that trauma was that was broadcast everywhere and replayed on
(12:57):
social media over and over again, traumatizing everyone that saw that.
The ramifications of that have not been seen. And I've
made a post on social media after Erica Kirk, his wife,
said that she forgave the shooter at the funeral. She
said that, and that that reverberated, and I just had
(13:18):
a thought that came to my mind. Is very controversial,
and I wasn't suggesting that she do it, but it
would have to be her decision. But what if she
asked for our party. She's already said that she really
is not advocating for the death penalty. That the government,
the state government is going to do what they do,
and the death penalty is on the table that in
(13:39):
that shooting there, and from a human justice point of view,
absolutely it needs to be on the table. He not
only endangered he not only killed Charlie Kirk, he endangered
the thousands of others, including Erica Kirk and her children,
and they witnessed all of that life. And so yeah,
(14:00):
I mean, from our standpoint, he deserves to die. But
from the theology of the Cross, we all deserve death,
and yet we live. From the theology of the Cross,
we don't deserve any pardon whatsoever. That's why mercy and
grace are such a huge part of the Christian story
and a huge part of our story. And so if
(14:22):
Jesus bore those sin I mean it bore our sins
of injustice and betrayal and violence and grief and everything
in between, we also and bore those scars. We can
also be healed. That doesn't mean that we'll forget, because
we still bear the scars of those of the wounds,
(14:42):
the scars of the trauma. But in Wesleyan tradition, my
own tradition, sanctifying grace is not just about moral purity.
It's about being perfected in love. It is both an
instantaneous process and that God absolutely forgives of our sins
and in that moment we are perfected in love. But
(15:02):
then we continue to growing grace, We continue to learn
what love is, we continue to learn how to embody love,
and then we become a healing presence within that community.
Within our communities, there's a love that heals wounds, transforms scars,
and empowers us to love others well. So here's some
(15:22):
practical steps that we can go through. Deal with your
trauma before leading others. Seek counseling, mentoring, spiritual direction. You
absolutely everybody needs a mentor, and everybody needs a spiritual director.
And I think one of the things in the counseling
community is they all have to have counselors. They have
debriefing moments, and I think that's that's key for a
(15:43):
church planter as well. He or she needs a good counselor.
You know, mentors are great for you know, kind of
helping us with the strategies of planting churches. A spiritual leader,
and sometimes they can be both. But a spiritual direction person,
a pastor that can speak into your life and hold
you account is UH is important as well. And then
(16:03):
a professional counselor that you can just kind of go to.
It's private, they are bound by privacy laws and The
only time that they can preach that privacy is if
you are going to hurt someone or if you threaten
violence against someone or yourself, then they have to tell someone.
But hopefully you're not planting a church. If those use
(16:24):
your tendencies here build rhythms of rest and Sabbath. Spiritual
exhaustion physical exhaustion are are key components of conflict and
can reopen unhealed wounds or even old wounds that can
it can open scar. Train your team and trauma awareness.
Teach them how to how fight or flight works, but
also make them aware. I think trauma awareness training is
(16:48):
incredibly important. Normalized counseling partner with Christian counselors model openness
to help preach healing, not just forgiveness. Trauma informed preaching
tells people Jesus doesn't just forgive their sins, he heals
their souls. Give you some resources. The body keeps the
score vessel mind coulk. That's a b E s s
(17:08):
E l V A n der k o l K.
So the body shapes the score. The emotionally healthy leader
Peter Scazero and healthy healing the wounds of trauma. Bible
based resource used globally. So those are three really good
resources I recommend to you in the conclusion, leading from
(17:29):
stars not wounds. I will never forget the collapse of
that recovery ministry. It broke me, but it changed me.
Church planting is holy work, but is heavy work. Trauma
will be part of that journey, yours, the process, their teams,
and the people you reach. But trauma doesn't have to
define your ministry. In Christ, wounds become scars, stars become testimonies,
(17:53):
and testimonies become echoes of eternity, reminders that God heals,
redeemed and makes all things new. So today, may you
lead out of not out of your wounds, but out
of your scars and become whole and lead others to
holiness as well. That's the end of this episode. Folks,
(18:14):
appreciate you tuning in. Please share this with your friends
and family and uh uh you others. I'm not a
perfect voice for this. I don't have a huge platform,
a few thousand listeners, but it's uh but I'm wanting
to grow, and the more I grow, the more people
can be you know, get a different perspective out there,
(18:36):
the perspective just a normal guy who's been living in
the trenches, who's not just lived in the trenches in
the past. I'll be in attrenches again soon. But I've
also been in the trenches with the other leaders as
I've coached them to plant churches and walked alongside of them,
mentoring them and coaching them as well. So you know,
share this and and uh shared on your social media, UH,
(18:59):
tell your friends about it, spread the word, and again
that helps to pay for the podcast as well. This
does have costs associated with it for hosting and broadcasting
and things like that. It's not a huge amount of money,
but the advertising helps to pay for that. So again
I ask you the question as we leave here today,
what has got it going through your life today?
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