Ed Wynn The Fire Chief - When Hiking Ignorance Is Blisters

A comedic program featuring a whimsical fire chief character, delivering humor through sketches and musical numbers.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
On the stage of Vanhannah. There in Cleveland text, the
coast servtations and dealers from coast to coast present the
fire Keith for that don boys in the fire, Keith
van rayam Macnaville. I'm Edwin the fire chief. Whoa THI

(00:36):
do well tonight? Yeah, the night's gonna be good for
the usual. He's saving thing for a long time. The
prosperity was jumped around the corner, but Roosevelt claims that
pot verity is here. I get to this here, Graham,
tell you my coup. Luck. Now I'm around the corner.

(00:56):
Some people say things to be better if we recognize ruck. Well,
see my goodness playing the way things are right now,
I can't even recognize America. Well don't you think so
business and a success? Well, I take it, pray am.
I listened to my uncle on that subject, you know, yes, yes,
and my uncle. I don't your uncle think pro businesses success? Oh? Yes, yes,

(01:18):
when he does, he thinks that athware. Well, when he's sober,
he thought once he got to say about it, well,
he claimed the most usual thing. Raham, My uncle claims
that the states on the east and the west coast
are so wet you know that they don't even know
where the oceans. Have you anything against? Well, I only

(01:40):
have one thing against Paul Disney Graham. Well, nowadays, if
some people want to take a drink that the men
they have bunship they have to order, you know, a
couple of glands of the concrete or that's why I
don't know about it. Can't take a man like your uncle.
Wouldn't he be satisfied with three percent? Here? Oh? I
should say he would be Graham if the other night
he doesn't spt for dolcohol anyway? Well see yeah, well anyway,

(02:08):
dot know what? Excuse me? I'm what's some music like
to be? But I'll tell you man, we're speaking of blacking.
So we'll play the new drinking start. The title of
it is my broom Hard Things on the barmail. That

(03:33):
thing happened sunding bail an Automatly, I'll get one of
my tea. What happened to? What? What happened? Well? What
could happen when the car hit the pick malan co
flimmering bacon? Not only that player, my what wasn't make
and we had to happen to talk? Oh? Well, maybe
that haven't for the best keep that hart was getting
awfully fan. Oh, I admit that pail a matter of fact, you,

(03:54):
but don't sind before he died we had a shot
of length. Why well, will you still have your cow ape? Oh? Yes, plan,
I still have that cow am I. I'm mighty glad
of that heath. I'll never forget that wonderful glass of
fresh milk you gave me the day I visited you.
Oh yes, I threw up on the good one that day. Jeez,

(04:19):
you look golf me funny coming downtown on your hearts tonight?
Where are you riding him side? That? Well? Can I
help riding him side? Toddle player? Well, I help the horses?
Is the arrayed thoughts too? Well? Yes, but that goes
to the mountain. I think we ought to go into
the music raam Well, all right, then let's go. Well,
I'll tell you what it is. We're talking about bombs,

(04:41):
so we'll play the new Drunky song. Yeah, man, yes,
you'll never get the title long long ago. The big
song is just like a melody from out of the side.

(05:08):
My my mom f f fam for my then uh
mother made me I might eat it. My my fuck
them far and make one no one, But he got
some mom tam tam, I can't call it go back

(05:32):
on him, my my, my man, for my not this

(06:19):
for mile. I might get f and far that deep
stickball that, but that fact he got a ball then,
and the game gon is gonna gonna be my that

(06:55):
ball back bam that that he got a bom the
game ball. Oh yeah, they seem yeah that why why
do you want to know? Man? Did you get a

(07:16):
car after? I am no? But I played my horse
but another man yet today? Yeah, yeah, you know why
I played? What well? My heart kept pulling down every
time I wrote him. You know that's bad. I didn't
think the fate would go do it. But because the
man assisted on buying my horsehouse and well what do
you do? Gee? Oh, I let him lie of him,
you know, I let him by that why not? But

(07:36):
the horse fell down a couple of times with the
man on him too, and the name played the horses
with you anyway, d J. Well, that's the same steam Graham.
The man said that my horse had a better file
of getting up off the ground. That's the radio symbol
of Textico Fire Chief Gally Wights the right part of me.

(07:58):
Well they don't they that key Textico fire chief gasoline
means sea power active in the bank of any car.
It's a real he man's gasoline and he man don't
get the sea women's playing. I don't get. Well. All
the ladies are using your two chiefs. They know a
real viol when they did. Why man, do you have
a special sailed bike on Monday? No, no, Keith, not

(08:19):
at all. It's a real bargain every day in the week.
Think of it, quick starting Technico fire keeps the pass
is the highest government specification for emergency fool I will
think of yeah, and a place of ordinary gasoline. Now
keep don't forget to tell your uncle about that. Oh
play my agree what everything you say is. But it's
that dom Simon. I have tected. It was gonna fightened,

(08:39):
because that's the statement. But the fightens and wait to
the dust me and timon the fight behold fat keep well,
I'll tell you why you get. Don't frighten my uncle.
He's a faith man. His faith fight you know right
away for the pireman on a fire and there and
every side. My uncle he is with silent bow. He
kept frightened in the hide he's a played the fireman
bringing his wife. Ye I'm right.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Now, nobody any leave me.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Long?

Speaker 2 (10:27):
I long along.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
You all, they'll be long my long. Give your fay
day for somebody else. I may my lady, okay I

(10:53):
heay up? Can I talking about fighting the kind of
this wednight? He can in completed? And when the cape
rises on the out for play right away you see
the hero good. He is the country boy and wears
tongue ally collar and he clears up at anything thou have.
Father makes his cotton in the touth, you know. The
young hero at the case rises budget in to the

(11:15):
house and he says, father, what shall I do? I
have cut out two poor peoples in the cot. The
father's three. The father said, my son of two people's
always to the letter said another day, Father, I know
it's not the playing nat him what the one of
the guntries was cheevy? The father said, you are very

(11:40):
of sny for being so content that I am going
to make you a pleasant of a stuff. And the
boy said, that's what I like about you dead, you
always make your pleasant soun royan, Wait a minute, hyeah,
I'm only done the devil. Now listen to the father said,
very with done, he's waking hard. And remember this the

(12:02):
devil fine white rival hands. But the fine the done
said the devil, fine white bridal hands. Then now you
want to get him to run that kind of Wait,
very what you better sit down? You're more over with
the next one. By way, when there gone, the father said,

(12:23):
done your muck at the stupid pie. And the boys
said your why father, I read a book plant night
with the saddest ending. And the father said, fot for
but and the son said, going bankful way away, play
a bit away. The father said, done have you and drinking?
And the the death father. I drink liquor from the

(12:46):
dismal papers. The father the dia the death knicker poor bits. Wait,
wait a minute, the father said, you're poised me a
politician some day, but you must not talk that way. Malcome,
you re alive. The butter that they are tame men
with me instead of money. And that's certainment with me.

(13:09):
Why they do the tame thing? Why did they? Everybody?
I know? I top the man down? Why that now

(14:09):
I can imam find? The boy said, pay me for
the political offer? There he makes the big seats. You
know in they don't write this, He said, lady, you
want to know what another intended? What I want you
in there? Everybody's second possibility and jump around the corner.
That's not more. This is busy. I'm playing around the corner.

(14:33):
Then he go to all the teaching that they say
the normal lining and coming. I agree with them. He said,
them will be in your hair and the lines will
be in your brow. He said, look at the new
income back. What happened if they are you're selling to
the contact and they advite you that not time yet,

(14:55):
he said that yet the new tactic has been a
great thing for come in the insane is silons are
cleaning out in contact with do not knowing? Said they
are hot thousand years old only meeting me. They are
they the scalloton of a man holding his head in
the you get that play? I thought that was better.

(15:18):
They said, I am running far, he said. My uponent
calls me a poor and a covert. That is just
because I am a damp. He said, that's because I
want one a talent contever whereyhow they said we had
been thrown the fire up the prison and he says,
boom for me, I will take you through the fire,

(15:40):
and you will come out seeing the robot. Help when
you he said, you will not only come out see
the Robert, but we'll come along. All right. Wait, they said,
I know I will be elected. I can hardly wait
for the election tomorrow except to the no. He leads

(16:03):
the auditorium and they go with good the bottoming morning man.
They find him on the floor, the body to meet
the plating off and he keeps the hillow on the ploor.
The provider helps people out of me. I'll be here
for a couple of days. Then why bad? Now? Well, yeah,

(17:30):
well you got see. Well I'm play. I find the
hero defeated in the election. Yeah there, and it died
away knowing he ties to get married. He did love
with a tail and was kind of fate fift He
made h beneath that, but he takes not matter. He
tied them cold. It made a sick fur. Let me

(17:51):
hear that playing first sick fire. Yeah, and that's godea.
That's cold. It thick fur and it comes from out there.
What do you think? He said? Ss that, He said
that seems perfect. So he said, let's go to a
movie for a little pleasure. When you hear this, fam Yeah,

(18:13):
he said, not an idea. I have intertested and I
must take something. And he said, well then I agree
with you. Bit before plas he is wondering, you know,
how to get that boy the proposed to him, and
he kept an idea. He can't write the fate and

(18:37):
the thinking to a seed, well, I'm kind of talk
the boy. The boy, he's the boss. That's that. The
fire Father comes in the movie The Heroes. I'm to me,
he said to the fatherly that I was proposed to
your daughter. I get all men. When they proposed stupid

(18:59):
for the father. The father said, well they are whiteway God.
The father said to a daughter, I have come to
take a party. I am going to meet God Mother
in Mexico. And the said, oh, Mexico, see you wanna
And the father said, but I have waylay away tomorrow.

(19:25):
The man, seeing the offer, glam don the couple now
and they're walking down the street and they mod man
mother and and that way you know. Theyd comes up
and fight the hero nor wait to come down with
the white and said why didn't you don that door?
By the color? They all him back my body God,
and the white said, well, when we were fighting, marry

(19:48):
we need not to hold anything better for each other.
And they hear all dies Graham and the offer. The
hero died from the dog fight, and the white My
fath that at the fight time, I don't positively where
I was going. Let's well, yeah, you're getting your way,

(21:20):
you know. Yeah, yeah, my I'm come talk to the
technical take the good I did expected with a hundred people,
yes thing, just like one of the radio. Yeah, but
he said one man to say no. One man was
saying no. Yeah. But I wouldn't feel bad plan We
found out he was the yes man on the stake tape.
And I continued claim, oh yeah, he heard with a
smart answer to the question, may I train off some

(21:42):
of one oil? That's what that's weel wade them that
text motor oil. That's yeah, we'll say fine, said that
oil in the car, you know. And now he sat
he sat here in the bud anymore that he's doing
the collect lay the boil that white man here in
the morning. We'll make you. But I don't think I
ought to tell you the doctor. My uncle is telling death.

(22:05):
I don't know you talk but you why do you
talk to you or not? If the book to start
kill you, that's all, Horney. But the way, the way
you'll talk all the time, y'all gonna time belong to
the autumniveial slave yard. Have you ever seen one to lay?

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (22:22):
I just want to those slaves to swell the long card.
But a lot of guys wait to junk by alarm
before their time because of one thing impropa By that,
I mean poor quality oil, not enough oil, and the
long blade of oil fother blade oil was not meant for.
Told brother. Leading in the bank case is dusting fighting,

(22:43):
you know, player, But your cancelet and your loyal and
your loyal and your dathelan. You're talking to me again,
and give a right here, k Well, anyway, I tell
you it's not you wait, it's very sad to think
of They tied the ruin just to cause the partment
motor oil depleep a dynam and the uplaces of the

(23:04):
car until your tire was building up good motor oil.
That's technical. Yeah, I know, that's that's quite. That's so far.
But wait, tend it't do it? Yeah? Oh I love
that it's going to good anything for it? Oh yeah,
I know. The never the tumbling man coming to fight
down fright to the battle. But I was just doing
what fine, Yeah, I know, it's fine. He told me

(23:25):
in something to have to put a feet. The next
to you went my baby, my my aunt. I went

(24:45):
my dad. That's I don't my mother, but my name
my I don't mind.