The Ragamuffin Redemption: Sue's Healing Through Truth and Faith

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Resilience meets transformation. Here we amplify voices that have faced trials, trauma,
and adversity, stories that inspire hope, healing, and empowerment. Every
episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with individuals who have risen
from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose. Join us as

(00:21):
we break the silence, uplift one another and emerge stronger together.
New episodes air Wednesdays at six pm.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello everyone, and welcome to Emerge and Empower. Wait doctor
Lynn J And we are glad that you are here now.
As you know, Emerging Empower is a platform for individuals
to come on and share their stories of past traumas.
I want to thank each and every one of you
for your feedback. I want to thank you for being here.

(00:52):
I want to thank you for when you are not
watching when we're on, but you go back and watch
it when we are not airing, and I truly thank
you for that. And again we are at twenty thousand views.
I could not have done that without you. So that's
glad for you. You did it. It wasn't me, all right,

(01:13):
you did it. It's your likes, it's your shares and
your participation continuously. We are sharing on both audio and
visual platforms, so you can also find Emerging Empower on Apple.
You can find us on all the other audio podcast platforms.
And I am surely thankful once again for each and

(01:34):
every one of you. Now we are in a season
where when we look at the month of May, May,
the first thing we think about May is, of course
Mother's Day. As we celebrate mothers. Many of you spend
time to come in to be with your mom. Many
of you probably are not able to come in and
see her. Make sure that you are continuing to love,

(01:58):
not only in this month, but always. A mother is
always a mother. It does not change. That's one of
the titles that never changes. A mom remains a mom.
And I know the fathers are going to say, yes,
you guys are always telling with mothers. But right now
May is for mothers, and we want to yes, I'm
a mom. Celebrate the mothers and thank them. Next month

(02:18):
we'll address the fathers. So right now, dads, don't add
yourself to the equation. Continue sharing the love that if
you are not able to celebrate with your mom on
Mother's Day, find an opportunity this week, this coming weekend.
You have time to still do that and create a
beautiful moment with your mother. Call her if you can't

(02:39):
come in video calls. Spend some time with your mom. Okay,
moms are very simple, they're not complicated.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Just checking in, Mom, I'm checking in on you.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
She would be happy. But also she needs a gift too,
all right, surprise.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
I with a gift. Senator spar you still have time.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
You have all week, you have the rest of this month,
but you have the rest of this.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Year to celebrate your mom.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
And so the mothers who's gone through trauma and are
still healing while you have your children. I truly command
you because I was a mother that was still bleeding,
that was still.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Going through the process. I truly did not start my
true journey to healing.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Until I was in my forties, and it was my
children wore my whye. They were my reasons for getting
up every single day until I connected with my own healing.
And oh my god, they love me even more and
more bubbly. I'm more colorful. Kids love that. All right,
So let's continue healing, and let's heal for real.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Everybody's dive in.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
So we are here back on the set as we
have our wonderful guests that saw the ad and the
reach for individuals who have a story to tell. Now
every time we come on, we have someone from a
different walk of life, from a different continent. Because we

(04:03):
help people internationally and locally.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
And let me.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Tell you one thing about pain and trauma, it does
not discriminate.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
And introduce yourself to our audience on today.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
Sure, thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to this.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Well.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
My name is Sue Bowls and I am an ACC
certified Masterlife and me Mental health coach. I'm the founder
of my Step Ahead and what I call the chief
instigator because instigating is always fun of the Dare to
Believe movement. We'll get into that a little bit later,
a little bit later, but I'm excited to be here.
I am excited not just to be able to share

(04:39):
my story, but because I know we have an opportunity
to talk about it and things I've learned and what
God's doing before, during, and in it may help somebody
else and that's what gives it purpose and meaning. So
I appreciate the opportunity.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
I love I love how you came in and you're
just you know, you're like a cataly You're like, I've
got this right. So a lot of people are gonna say, Wow,
she's coming on withuten energy, but they don't understand this
has become you why because of what your own.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
Past experience was.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
So as we dive right in, you can't be your
trauma based on our pre interview for fifteen years of silence,
Let's go back into what your trauma was, so individuals
can understand what your traumatic experience was, what it's stemmed from,
and as we journey from that step unto your why

(05:33):
and why you're doing what you're doing now helping those
in mental health because mental health is a serious, serious issue,
and everybody think mental health looks a certain way.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
It does not.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
You can't tell that someone is dealing with mental health
just because, oh, they look like they are all out
of their mind.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
No, the most.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Radiant and beautiful person in the room, who look like
they have it all together is dealing with some type
of mental issue.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
So let's dive right into your story today.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Sure, my child, my story starts when I was seven
years old. I am a childhood rape survivor. I was
raped by a classmate when I was seven years old
after first grade one day, and I say, I'm finding
myself getting a little emotional. That happens at times, and

(06:25):
even though I've healed from it all, I will not
say please forgive my tears. I'll say thank you for
understanding my tears, because because this is still my story, yes,
and it still affects me.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
So how do you want to apologize for what you
had experience?

Speaker 4 (06:44):
I appreciate that it took a long time to be
able to say the only person who did anything wrong
that day was my perpetrator. Because this is early seventies.
Rape was not on culture, not on radar, It wasn't
talked about. I didn't know to say anything, and no

(07:05):
one knew to ask anything. So right from the start,
all I knew was something was wrong. And we'll get
into the fifteen year secret part of it here in
a second. But in addition to that, you know, and
I'm sure you've talked about on the show before, that
trauma literally rewires your brain. Yes, we're seven years old.

(07:27):
I didn't have a chance to be a normal kid.
I went right into fight flight or freeze right away,
and I didn't know, so I suddenly became I went
in survival mode and constantly not knowing that I was
constantly on guard. By time you get through you know,

(07:47):
junior high, middle school, junior high, in high school. You
if you start off track, the longer you're off track,
the further longer it takes to get back to the center.
In between all that time, other sexual assaults from the
neighborhood kid, there were. There's twice I considered ending my life.
I struggled with depression one point in time. Many many

(08:09):
years later I dabbled with cutting. So then high school
and going into college, I developed an eating disorder. I
am now nine years in recovery from an eating disorder.
This is twenty twenty five. So here that I went
into recovery in twenty sixteen, and we're talking about stuff
that happened in the seventies. So trauma has a It

(08:31):
just has tentacles that do not stop until you become
purposeful and focused to get it to stop.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Right.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
So was seven years old. Now did this happen at
school or at home?

Speaker 4 (08:45):
Happened on the school grounds in the woods. I was
walking home and a boy enticed me into the woods
and I was forty five minutes late for late home
and mom came looking for me. My mom rescued me,
and even then it took a while.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
So she stole the person.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
No no, because he went out. We heard her calling
for me. I gotta go, I gotta go, and that
was my excuse to get the heck out of there.
He helped me against my will for forty five minutes
and he went out the other side of the woods,
and his last words weren't to me were don't tell anybody,
and I didn't and I didn't know that I was

(09:24):
putting myself in a prison, so she did not know.
And it wasn't until decades later that I told him.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
You notice you said fifteen years, but before we get
to fifteen years, because you just said that after that
happened at seven, it didn't stop there. You know, because
when you speak to individuals who have experienced early child
and traumas such as you know, as you went through,
for some reason, it seems like it becomes a patent

(09:56):
and it's like something there's a sign on you that says,
you know, hurt me or something, because it's like somebody
already pick up, like why am I being picked on?

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Did somebody say something? You know?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
So this was seven years old when that happened, and
then you said it continued after because we're talking about
fifteen years of silent, So in this fifteen years, all
of these things that happened. So you was seven, did
it and another incident happened at seven?

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Or you eight, nine, ten? Take us through your journey.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
It would have been early teens when the other stuff
was happening. Was because we moved when I was eleven,
and it was it was somebody in the neighborhood after
we moved.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Wow, Wow, isn't that something I truly again, I apologize
for what you had gone through. And a lot of
people don't understand that because as a child, first thing
you're thinking is.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
It's your fault. You know, I thought it was.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
It was something that I passed a bleak, I'd done okay.
And so as a result, not only are you not
telling because now you're saying that people, friends, everyone was
look at you differently. So what was that process for
you from seven to the fifteen years of silence?

Speaker 4 (11:19):
Well, and real quick, just I don't want to give
any misinterpretation. The other stuff that happened from the neighborhood
kid was sexual assault but was not rape. Okay, just
to clarify that, but doesn't It doesn't make it any
less important. It doesn't make it any less serious. And
I want people to hear me very clearly. Yes, sexual

(11:39):
assault is sexual assas what it looks like. Yes, exactly.
So in between there, I didn't know I was an
angry kid. When I was in seventh and eighth grade.
Somebody signed my yearbook and so to the girl who's
always mad.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Wow, And I didn't.

Speaker 4 (11:59):
I didn't, you know, you read them like what? And
but I didn't realize other people can see things that
you don't see, right, And I didn't realize I had
an anger issue. I was mad when I got to
high school. I was punching locker. I would punch locker.
One time I dented a locker, hick a wall. I mean,

(12:20):
I just because there was just anger and I didn't
know where it was from, ice under it, come to
understand it. But I was, I was. I had the
maladaptive behavior, if you want to call it that, because
in that timeframe, I wanted to be seen. That was
the big I struggled with in high school, was feeling
like if I was seeing, I mattered to somebody, right,

(12:43):
And again I didn't know this is what was going
on in my head. I've learned this over the last
number of years, right, But at that point in time,
I was involved in chorus, marching band, drama, played basketball
senior year. I mean it was doing as much much
as I could, just you know, just doing whatever I
could to be seen, to be involved. I feel like

(13:05):
I mattered right, and went off to college, and I
think that's where things really started in college, because I mean,
when you go to college, you know, that's where you're
really starting to develop into adulthood right on your own
for the first time. And I was struggling because that
whole desire to have value and be seen was carrying over.

(13:26):
So I was trying out for the basketball team. Can
I say it helps to go to class to make
the basketball team.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:35):
So we were a couple of weeks into school and
my deanis student. I get a message from somebody. I
was a little little sismist turnity ended up, but I
was hanging out the attorney houseketting the no folks and
one of the guys working in the deana student's office
and he sees me across campus. He says, hey, Sue,
did Lucy find you? The Dean's looking for you? Now,

(13:56):
mind you. I go to a small college of eight
hundred to one thousand students. It's like, you know, just
however many blocks big Northwest Ohio, so you really can't.
You can run, but you will not have You can
only run for so long because they're going to find you.
Felt like you're blending him with fifteen thousand people. So

(14:16):
being the dutiful one, because I was even in high school,
I was the good kid. I didn't cause any problems.
I didn't want to be the one to cause trouble,
so I did what I was told. So, you know,
gee goes back to what my perpetrator told me. Don't
tell anybody that I was doing what I was doing
when I was told. So in this case, I went
to the dean's office, Teams comes back and knows me

(14:38):
by name. I'm like, how does this dude know me?
Later found out, but this is the power of a
small college. Later found out he had a book of
all the new students, their picture and their name, and
he would go through it and get to know people's
names and faces. That was powerful. So anyways, so he
had gotten a call from my advisor, who had gotten

(14:59):
a call from the basketball coach wondering, you know, checking
up on me. My advisor was saying, well, she's not
coming to my class. Her class was accounting, which at
that time was my major, and I'm cutting my advisor's class.
Not a good thing to do. So anyway, So his
name was Ed Hiland. Ed and I talk, had a
good conversation. There was something about him. It's like he cares.

(15:22):
There's something about him. So I wanted to go back
and talk to him again. Made another appointment. That started
a relationship that lasted over my four years where Ed
made time for me and for the first three years
we were probably talking every week for a couple hours
at a time. I was never rushed, I was listened to.
I was encouraged, I was challenged yes, and he would

(15:45):
he would sit this is this is the way back
when the early eighties and people smoke inside, and he
was sitting in his office blow smok rings, put his
feet up on his desk and we just talked. And
there was something about Ed. Cared, somebody finally cared, and
that carried over now each year. I wasn't sure I
was going to be able to get back to college

(16:05):
because I was paying my own way through college. So
I would say goodbye to him, but then I would
always see him when I when I got back. He
was the first person I went into say hi to
senior year. He was over in the development office. Took
a new position, but he made a point I went
over to see him. He made a point that first time.
He said, Sue, I'll still be available to you. That

(16:27):
meant the.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
Well, his office is in the cabinet. His office is
right down down a few offices down from the president's office.
I'm like, I'm not sure how keen I feel about
everybody over there when I went over to see this guy.
But we went from meeting every week about every two
weeks that spring semester. ED knew he had a student

(16:49):
that really wasn't ready for the workforce right and I had.
I had a job offer as an assistant manager of
a shoe store in the area, and then I was
looking to go to possibly go to grad schoo I
was also looking to finish my teaching certificate, which would
have required me to come back one more semester. Now
this is a time that if it took you more
than four years to finish college. There was a problem.

(17:10):
Right now, it's very standard. So anyway, so he's given
me a different homework and where it came out again.
Up this point in time, I didn't know I had
a secret to tell. I just knew that there was
stuff going on. I didn't know what was causing it,
but was his care and he listened and he was available,
and he could see there were things throughout the years

(17:30):
that he knew something was up. But anyway, so we
had this conversation.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
He asked some question.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
We're going over the homework or whatever, and I do
not remember what it was. All I remember is inspecting
the weave of his carpet and saying, well, when society
tells you not to say anything, right, And my voice
trailed off and Ed was very astute, and he said,
he said, Sue, does somebody hurt you? I said yeah,

(17:56):
He said, your parents, no, somebody else? What happened? And
that's when it came out. And I didn't know it
needed to come out. But what led to that was
somebody giving the gift of time, time and love and
loving through time and caring and seeing through my struggles.

(18:21):
He accepted me as screwed up as I was, as
much as I was screaming for attention. He saw through
it to see that there was something about that, there
was hurt, and he didn't know what it was until
it came out. Wow.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
And now as he's listening to you, you were able
to go through the whole story, or you just said
that somebody heard you.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
Now I told him what happened. He was the first
person I told And what was so I didn't know?
I started my healing journey then? What was so cool?
And I will.

Speaker 5 (19:05):
Get here on this one time in nineteen ninety nine,
I went back to campus for homecoming and I had
reached out to Ed and said, hey, I'm coming back.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
I'd love to see you. And he met me for
breakfast in town and he was working at another school
by this time and a great time. And I got
a chance to thank him. I got a chance to
say thank you, and I told him that he was
the first person I told, yes, And his response was,

(19:37):
you're very kind with your words. Many years later, when
I wrote my first book, I sent him a copy
of it because I talk about the story of him
just passed ed, just passed away. In November twenty twenty four,
and I am so yeah, thank you. I am so

(19:57):
grateful that I had the opportunity to tell him yes,
and to keep in touch with him, because there is
nothing more powerful than telling someone how they have affected.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
Your how they affected you, indeed.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
And to be able to tell him that pivotal moment
set me on a trajectory that I haven't looked back
from since. Yes, Yes there is. I will treasure that
forever because that man, his care literally started the process
of changing my life.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
And I'm glad he had enough discernment to realize that
here it is. You're a teen uh looking to come
to an adult and sit down and talk.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
Obviously, the first thing they're thinking, this child must not
have friends.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Something must be wrong, you know, because you know teenagers,
we just want to be hang out with other friends.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
Even today, they don't want to hang out with growing faults.

Speaker 4 (20:57):
So I've always been a weird one that enjoys hell
out the administration with stuff.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
So I want to know, and I think as I
look back and I listen to everyone who has spoken
a lot of the behavior or the things that most
kids probably would not like. It puts you in a
place where you're trying to go away from the danger
or anything that is careless. You're being very thoughtful into

(21:24):
whatever it is that you're doing.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
Where you're going, you're.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
Being very intentional, and as a result, I find that
it wants you to be around with people who are
matral understanding, who see you where you could get advice.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
You know, you're not just anybody. They care. In Ed's case,
he listened.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
So it literally took almost four years for you to
open up to tell him.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
It sounds like, yeah, but again, I didn't know there
was something there. I didn't It's not like I'm sitting
there saying, well, I've got a secret and I'm not
going to tell you right right, Yeah, I didn't even know. Now.
When I walked out of his office back to the
student union that day, I remember feeling like everybody was

(22:10):
looking at me, and everybody knew because I called that
letter on my head. But here's what was cool. Ed
asked if I I've seen a counselor in town, and
Ed asked if I had seen If I told the counselor,
I said no, So I called him. He really encouraged
me to do so. The next week so I called
him and asked if he would go with me. So
he talked to his wife, thought about it, you know,

(22:31):
so they said it was okay, so he went with me.
Even then the second time, trying to tell somebody is
not easy because I'm sitting there, you know, the counselor
is asking, kind of wondering, who's this guy and why
is he here?

Speaker 3 (22:45):
Right?

Speaker 4 (22:45):
And I still remember him looking at Ed and saying,
what do you think? And had said, I think soon
used to quit shadow boxing and tell you what she
told me. Now, that's tough love. Like I guess, I
just got back into to a corner. But he knew
that's what was best. He knew that was what was best,

(23:08):
and he helped me with it. So, you know, I'm
so very grateful that God's sent Ed into my life
because I wouldn't be where I would in my mind,
I wouldn't be where I am today.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
Everybody needs that started it.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
Oh yeah, everybody needs an ad Yes, very much, so
very much so.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yes. So now that you have you told Ed, so
when did you come around to telling your family?

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (23:34):
Not even Oh my gosh, wow, that would have been
early two thousands, oh much later, much later. In fact,
some of my siblings did not know my story until
my book came out. Yeah, because there was this function
in our home. There was an alcoholism in our home

(23:55):
and some emotion emotional manipulation which does.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Not allow you. I give you that act was fit.
I was conducive for you.

Speaker 4 (24:02):
To be to share right, right, And I had to
feel a little more solid myself. I can't say I
was feeling solid, but you know, yeah, it was. It
was easier to tell one one of my parents and
it was the other right, and and and one of
them responded so tenderly and just said I wish I

(24:24):
had known, right And then then they said, maybe it's
best I didn't because I probably would have come after him.
That's love and love.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
It's true. It's true.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
Unfortunately, Joe, some parents don't react that way because some
children might tell it, and there's said, you're telling a lie.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
It's not true.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
I don't believe it, because we see a lot that
happens as well for children, and as they tell their story,
because I see it and I hear it, even those
who are adults, when they go back and they tell
what happened, you know, if they want an adult they
were like, no, even then, I've heard it, you're lying,
that can't be true.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
Or why did you wait now to.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Say did you get any reaction of why did you
just wait now to tell me?

Speaker 4 (25:07):
No?

Speaker 3 (25:09):
No?

Speaker 4 (25:09):
Every I was supportive, you know, I mean, you know,
I was my siblings in particular. And when the book
first came out, you know, I gave everybody copy and
right there and the acknowledgements at the front, I list
them all and I say, because some of what I
share is your story too, And but they have. I
have never had a podcast make me so emotional.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
It's just taking time.

Speaker 4 (25:31):
Usually it's a little here, a little there.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
This is a good time, the place to heal. You know,
it continues that way.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
It's good.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
It's good your voice. You know, I don't rush you here.
It's a healing place.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
But my my siblings have been nothing but supportive. I
cannot speak highly enough about them. They are they're cheering
me out. They cheer me. You know, what I'm doing
is very odd. Not everybody that wakes up, but as
a speaker across the country and writing books and you know,

(26:06):
doing podcasts and life coaching, so what I do is odd,
but they necessary yeah, yeah, they're like you do you
It's like, you know, so now my siblings are fantastic.
So I love that.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
I love that you need to have that family support
as well, because I can even relate when it when
it came to me writing my book. Even though people
when I was younger, when the toad was sole told,
I didn't.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
Get that reaction.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I didn't get that support, and so I became silent.
It was like I was muzzled for years, Like as
things continue to happen, I what was the point of telling,
because you knew what had happened in you guys still
staying in that environment, still had the person around. My
mom still was the guy had to leave the house.

(26:55):
So it felt like you were alone and all by
yourself in my case, like you, when I wrote my book,
that's when a lot of all the other things, you know,
all my siblings even realized what was going on.

Speaker 4 (27:09):
You know, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry to call one
of the things I've seen is that. And this is
the power of story, is that as I shared my story,
it has given siblings and others right courage to you know,
kind of face some of their own stuff. All of

(27:30):
us were affected by different stuff, and all of a
sudden we're own little secrets and all of us in
their own different way. But you know, different different people
you know in my life have had the courage to say,
you know, maybe I need a little help in this.
What Yeah, I never did the talk about this, really
deal with this. Maybe it's time for me to get

(27:50):
a little support so I can just finally get it.
And it's like, what if me having that courage to
share help somebody else when win? And that is what
it is.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
It is indeed, because I always say, even when I
when I go out to speak or I say something
I said, if I reach one person, I've done my part.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
I've done my job exactly.

Speaker 3 (28:13):
As you tell your story.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
Even people who thought they knew you, you know, they
were like, wait a minute, I guess I really don't
know her, you know.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
So these are all the different things.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
So now as the podcast is titled the Raga Muffin Redemption.

Speaker 4 (28:31):
Right, I love that.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
By the way, Muffin Redemption healing, true truth and faith.
So Sue has told you her truth, all right, So
now let's get into the Raga Muffein. I remember growing
up we dealt with this.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
Word was like back in the eighties, you know.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
So let's get into the Raga Muffin, Because how did
the rag Muffin film and.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
Retreat experience Mark Attorney point for you. This is its title.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Up So I love that. Yeah, so this is where
things were really cool. So above my head. I don't
know if you can fully see it. There's a quote
by a gentleman named Rich Mullins and it says, it's
not going to matter if you have a few scars.
It will matter if you didn't live now. Rich is
a Christian musician who was killed in nineteen ninety seven.

(29:22):
If you've heard the song Awesome God, not to Phil Collin,
not to fill Wickham one is out now, but that
but that is from the original one. Awesome God, step
by step were all by Rich Mullins. So anyway, So
in twenty fourteen, there was a movie called ragamuff when
that came out and it was based on the life
of Rich and I went to the movie. It was

(29:45):
a hard watch those first twenty minutes. I'm like, it's
got something in my arm, mom, because you know, because
we brought a bunch of a friends. I got to
this browed a bunch of friends too, and because I
didn't want to be found out. That was a theme
there my entire life. I didn't want to be found
out because I didn't think I would be accepted and
I didn't have to deal with my stuff. So later

(30:08):
that year, the movie producer and the family and friends
of Rich Mullins, who were all involved in the movie,
decided to have a retreat, and that first one in
twenty fourteen was called the Ragamuffin the Retreat, and it's
now become Walking Stick Ministries. I went to that first
retreat in twenty fourteen. Excuse me, the only they were
about fifty of us. There fifty attendees, and the only

(30:30):
thing we had in common was all of us had
seen this movie and God had stirred something. So that
first year and even going to that retreat was a
fight because I was supposed to be in Nashville to
see friends and God kind of kept pulling me. One
of the things about this retreat is that they do
a Facebook group for people who were just going to
the retreat that first year. They boldly and gently asked

(30:55):
us to share our stories so we can get to
know each other. Now, mind you I had no not
told my story publicly to anyone. Ed counselors knew that
was it. My family did not know. So I'm lurking
in the room about three days and encouraging others, commenting
and trying to stay under the radar, you know, not

(31:18):
be seen. And then you wake up one morning and
the heart's pounding and you're like you're starting to sweat,
and you're like, all right, it's my turn. So I
got liquid coffee, liquid courage, put on the pot, and
for literally half hour, I'm typing out my story and
I cannot believe I am doing this hip post, and
I'm getting a little shaky at the thought of this.
This is cool because for the rest of the day,

(31:39):
I'm like, I know, I'm just going to get trashed.
I know someone's going to tell me it's my fault.
What didn't you know I did wrong? Because it's all
I've heard all my entire life. We are now ten
and a half years after that, I have yet to
hear one negative comment, not one. Instead, it is you

(32:00):
encourage me, You inspire me. I just want to give
you a hug, yes encourage to share my story. So
I went into this retreat and I my brother had
been had served eighteen months in prison for a drunk
driving accident. He took responsibility for he had just gotten
out in August. The retreat was October, and he's like, Sue,

(32:20):
go to the retreat. It's my thank you go. I
want you to go. Get away. And what really sparked
it was a conversation he shared with somebody that he
has somebody in town ransom my grocery store. This is
shortly after you got out of prison. He's home, he lives,
and he was here and he said, man, I haven't
seen it for a while. Where are you been, He said,

(32:41):
in prison? And I was so struck because here I
am living a life of secrets, right to be found out.
And in my judgmental mind, if anybody had a reason
to have some shame about the story, was my brother again,
and he's like, I was in prison. I screw it up.
I own it. So I shared my counselor and I said,

(33:01):
I just want to be authentic, get me ready, And
we spent six weeks dealing with all my fears. So
by the time I get to retreat, it's kind of
like everybody knows what I'm dealing with and God did
a work. That first year. I had to own my
story because I hated my story, and it came in

(33:23):
a very pivotal time. We're literally about five ten minutes.
I am just crying in a room full of fifty
people in silence, to the point that the leader says,
it seems like God's really doing something here, let's just
keep continuing to pray, And nobody said a thing. So
that first year, I went in calling myself the Holy Exception.
I had bought the lie that I was too screwed up,

(33:45):
too far gone, and a total waste of space. And
I'm starting to implode again because this was also the
year we were dealing with the rape for the first
time having an eating disorder. Emotions are not the friends
of eating disorders. So my life was in turmoil and
I was spinning and I was just trying desperate to

(34:06):
hang on. So that first year I went in calling
myself the whole exception. I left there saying and starting
to believe for the first time that Jesus Christ not
only likes me, he loves me, yes, and he's head
over heels in love with me. That was the starting
point things built from there. The second year, I had
to grieve my story. Every story has losses, and every

(34:31):
loss is worthy of being grieved. So the second year
I had to grieve my story, and through that I
was able to start letting it go. The third year,
twenty sixteen, the nuh that I walked away with was
I am valuable to God. And that is when things
started to change. That is when I started to dare

(34:53):
to believe that I might matter. That's when I started
writing the book. That's when all these things started happening.
Was the year I went into recovery from an eating disorder.
For the first time, it was learning how to eat,
and that.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
Was even challenging.

Speaker 4 (35:08):
So all this and each year built on the next,
on the next, on the next. This tribe's called Walking
Stick Retreats, and the retreats are open to anybody. This
is a carte blanche to come Walking Stick Retreats, Walking
and Yeah. The website is Walkingstickretreats dot org. Our next

(35:28):
twenty twenty five retreat is in September in Lynchburg, Virginia.
Registrations the Wheel that Great. Registration's open now, so I'd
love to see you there and we can talk over lunch.
But anyway, so through this group, these bunch of ragamuffins,
I was a ragamuffin, broken, bruised, beat up, feeling like

(35:49):
I'm a waste and God, you know, God redeemed. He's
kind of in that business. And through this I took
a chance on love. And that's what happened. I dared
to believe. And when the staff members of love. Yeah,
when the staff members told me later that she kind

(36:10):
of saw the first retreat as a kind of hail Mary.
For me, was I unlovable? And could God love me?
And that's when things started to change. Because there is
nothing magical about retreat. The staff gets out of the
way and lets Holy Spirit do his job. That is
what happens, and through that, my healing journey has come

(36:30):
through retreat. God speaks to us in languages we understand.
To me is music and retreat. And each year there
has been something we had retreat a month ago that
was just off the charts of what God did in
my life to continue to speak to me, inform me
and direct me and just give clarity. So that movie

(36:52):
in twenty fourteen, and I am just one story. There
are so many even within the retreat community, and so
many more we don't even know about that were affected
by that. But that movie gave me permission to share
my story with somebody other than a counselor who was
found by confidentiality, right, because that was the first time

(37:13):
I told it somebody else, and that was the first
time I wasn't judged for it by telling it.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
This is one of the reasons why people don't want
to tell, because they don't know what everyone's reaction would be.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
Would they be blamed, will they be shame?

Speaker 2 (37:31):
You know, they don't know what that reaction would be,
and so as a result, people shy away from telling.
If the individual is married or going to get engaged,
they won't tell it because they think it will scare
people away from them, or on the other way around.
There are people are gonna take advantage of you. You know,

(37:52):
they know that because they know you have and healed,
and they would manipulate. So there's a lot that happens
as to why, you know, people don't want to share
their story, and that feeling unworthy, that is always like
one of the first things, like I'm not deserving, I'm
not worthy of love, I shouldn't have good things. I

(38:13):
shouldn't be happy. So all of these things are there.
And you know, so I like what you said. What
you did was you stayed busy. You were in all
of these classes. You participate in everything because you stay busy,
because staying busy keep your mind off of your own secret.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
The way I phrase it, the way I phrase it
when I speak, is that if I stayed busy, I
didn't have to think yeah, if I didn't have to think,
I didn't have to feel yeah, And if I didn't
have to feel, I didn't have to deal with my stuff.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
I was running from me. That was what happened.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
Yeah, And we and anyone that's watching right now.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
You're probably that person running from you who don't want
to tell you know you're still going through this.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
It's time because.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Once you come and confront it, to look at you,
don't run away from you deal with it. Healing is beautiful, listen.
Healing is free. Healing is colorful.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
You want to wear colors? You see me.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
I love lady bugs, you know, and today I decide
to wear a lady.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Bug because this is how I feel. It gives me joy.
I was deciding color.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Whether I wanted to a yellow, orange, green, So I
wear my colors.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
But before I stayed away, I blended in.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
I tried to find the simplest color, something that would
not bring any attention to myself. So healing actually is
a beautiful thing. Healing is a glow, you know. And
I have a journal that says, let go and glow,
because once you let it all go, you truly shine,
all right, you start loving yourself and actually start to

(39:53):
even find yourself.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
Funny, you know, now, healing also is not for faint
of heart, because yes, hard work, healing and healing can't
happen alone.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
No, you didn't get.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
That way by staying alone. No, or, as you say,
let me back up, you got that way by staying alone,
by isolating, by keeping the hurt to yourself. And do
not hear me saying that anything that happened to you
as your fault. I am not saying that. I'm saying
that our normal rehuman reaction to pull in and to

(40:30):
withdraw serves us for a time for survival. Yes, and
it's only supposed to be for a time.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (40:39):
And when we hold onto it for too long it
has been worn out. It's time and then it starts
doing this damage. It is at that point that healing
needs to involve other people so that you can experience
what you need to experience in terms of love and
acceptance and healing because you haven't gotten it yet.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
Now.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
Healing happens in community. Community does not happen in isolation.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Yeah, and you have to find someone first of all
that you feel comfortable with, like Sue how to end,
You have to find someone to be able to share
it with. Some people find it's easier to tell it
to strangers than anybody that they know. There are we
live in a time now, not like the seventies, eighties
or even nineties. We have we have platforms, groups you

(41:33):
know that you can get into and find your community.
You know, some of the local churches have groups that
will continue to help you. The community have centers to help.
So that help is just right there. You just have
to make the decision today.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
It starts.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
It starts today because I don't want to continue this way,
all right, So you did tell us about the Raga Muffett,
and so let's now get into what inspired you to
start your step ahead on Dear to Believe movement.

Speaker 4 (42:10):
My step Ahead our message is you only have to
be a step ahead to help the person behind you.
And what that is about is realizing that you don't
have to have it all figured out, you don't have
to have arrived, you don't have to be perfect, that
you have life experience now that can help somebody else

(42:33):
while you're still figuring it out. So for me, I
have my counselor so I'm reaching out to Amanda, but
there may be somebody behind me that's just starting a
journey or somewhere in the middle of the journey that.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
I've gone through.

Speaker 4 (42:47):
I'm reaching out to Amanda while I'm reaching back to
help somebody else, and we have a human chain of support. Yes,
the whole thing about my step ahead started. The second
time that I was considering ending my life was when
my parents divorced and I was on a ski trip.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
And itself is another form of trauma.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
So uh. I was on a ski trip in Colorado
with a camp that I worked at and a dear
friend of mine is named Billy Sprague. It was a
Christian musician in the eighties and nineties, and he was
on the trip. We had lost contact for three years.
His fiance had been killed we lost contact killed before
she was on the way to surprise him out of contracts.

(43:27):
He was a Christians, he found out right before the show,
so we lost contact. We established contact again right before
this this trip. So we're there and I said, I
looked at and said I need to learn from something
you've gone gone through. And we're talking the last day
when else down slopes and I said, how do you
go on living and all you want to do is die?
And he said, what's going on? And we just started

(43:49):
talking and at the end of the convers he shared
a story. This is where the first part of My
Step Ahead came in. He shared a story how when
he was going through everything with his grief, that he
I had a friend with him who was really encouraging
him and have him watching his boots in the airport
and with each step saying one more step, one more step,

(44:10):
I can get there, one more step, I can do this,
I can make this. And at the end of our
conversation he said this all I know to tell you
soon step by step. So not knowing there was a
song by rich Mallin's going to come out years later
called step by Step to My Heart, but that started

(44:31):
it and Billy had me watch my boots when we're
going down to the ski slopes. And my first thought was, got,
it is a long journey and I am not going
to make it. And that was nineteen ninety one and
here we are into twenty twenty five.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Oh yes.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
The other half of my step ahead was after my
first few retreats, I'm at church and Dale's talking about
discipleship and growth, and he posed the questions on what
does it take to help somebody else? How can you
help somebody else in their in their journey? They said,
you only have to be a step ahead. So I
married those two together because I latched on that's what

(45:08):
it's about. Because I am all. I am on a
mission to break the stigma around mental health. Mental health
is Christians in particular, as unfortunately the church shoots it's London. Yes,
there's no reason for that. So I am here to
break the stigma around mental health, to realize and tell
people that you don't have to have it figured out.

(45:29):
No id can use you now in whatever state you
are in, and that your life experience is meaningful. Yes,
matter what has happened to you, through you, or for you,
or from you, your life experience is meaningful and God
can use it. Now. That is the purpose behind my
step ahead now twenty twenty two. I think it was funny.

(45:54):
I think it was funny. Twenty two. I have to
be allowed. Why you lose track? Watch there to believe movement?
And that's because when I'm with my coaching clients, I said,
I'm a life coach when I'm with my clients, when
I'm out speaking, and the best part of speaking is
when people come up and talk to you afterwards, either
on the stage or whatever. And I love that because

(46:14):
if they're willing to share a snippet of their life
with me, I am all right. And I started hearing
whispers of doubt of oh but you don't know what's
happened to me? Is it too late for me? Oh
but I can't, Oh but this, And I realize that
as I really start a stripping it down, it boiled

(46:35):
down to one question, and this is the crux of
the dare to believe movement? How do you answer the
question do I believe that I matter? Yes, others believe
in you? Yes? That is important, and it's not enough
because until you can answer that question, do I believe

(46:56):
that I matter in a positive, affirmative rock way. The
hard life truth is permanent. Life change cannot and will
not happen.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
So what's that look like.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
I believe I matter tomorrow when I have my appointment
with my counselor. I believe I matter when I go
out and cut the grass because I want my house
to look nice. I believe I matter when I sit
down and have coffee with a friend because I believe
that person believes worthy of my time. Yes, that I'm
worthy of their time. How you answer that question shows

(47:28):
up in so many different ways. I believe I matter
when I go to school, when I pay the bills,
All these little things that we take for granted all
find the answer to that question. I believe Blieve movement
is all about empowering people to not only address the
challenges of what's the hang up for why I can't

(47:49):
answer yes, Maybe I'm just saying maybe, or I think
or I hope so, but I can't say yet. We
help them start working those through. The website has downloadable
free access worksheets and articles that right now deal with
fear and imposter syndrome. We're working on stuff about boundaries.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
And syndrome is a big deal.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
Yeah, so that people if they're not really pick up
a phone call yet, they can download these articles and
worksheets and kind of just start doing a little bit
of their own work. Because until you can answer that question, yes, yes,
things aren't going to change. So that's the behind it all.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
It's true, it's true, so true. So so writing your
story as you wrote your story because now it's for public. Yeah,
and at the time, family still did not know. Right

(48:50):
as you are writing it, talk to us like were
you like maybe not, maybe should leave us alone. I
don't want to visit this area, you know, what were
the motions for you?

Speaker 4 (49:09):
So I started writing the book in twenty fifteen, and
that was the second year, you know, a year after
my first retreat. It was a year after I had
started to work with my counselor. That was the year,
if I remember correctly, I believe that was the year
Simone Biles came out with her story and her I've

(49:32):
said this before. If I ever have a chance to
tell her personally, I want to tell her that her
sharing her story gave me permission to share mine. And
I didn't know it was going to come out in
the book. The idea of the book was a little different.
It was going to be life lessons and each chapter

(49:54):
was going to end with little you know, nice little
summarad this much I Know whatever, And then God kind
of took over, and then it kind of started becoming
a memoir and it became my story. It's like, okay,
this is taking a different form. And it was so
cathartic and petrifying and fun all at the same time

(50:15):
a weird way. It's a weird word whacked out world,
but it was fun. And when I went into recovery
from my eating disorder, I had to take twenty sixteen
off because when you have been destroying your body and
this is your life by not eating well, and you're
having to deal with those emotions and have to figure

(50:37):
out how to eat for the first time, really I
had no energy for anything else but just trying to
get through a day. So then I picked it up
again a year later. So anyway, so the book kind
of took on a different form where it ended up
being my story. And at the end of each chapter, yes,
there's still the summary this much I Know, and it's
a quick little synopsis of the lesson from that chapter.

(51:00):
I learned a lot about myself in that story. I
had things come out that I didn't think were going
to come out about some spiritual abuse that happened that
I hadn't put words to that until Amanda, my counselor,
started putting words to it. So even in the writing,
there was still healing going off, but it was very cathartic,

(51:21):
and it was a mission of like, I just feel
like I'm supposed to do this now. It was once
I got it done, did the edits and everything, and
finally got ready to publish on Amazon, I gave a
manuscript copy to my dad and that was when I
told him the first time.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
You had him, you told him first, or before you
read it, or after I.

Speaker 4 (51:48):
Told him before he read it. I gave it. I
went down to see him done now on date in
a time that passed two years ago, and I gave
it to him. I said, now, before I give this
to you, before you need it, there's something I need
you to know that, and that's when I told him so.
But it was so cool because one of my favorite

(52:09):
pictures now, so once the book came out, you know,
I'm autographing it, sending off to my family and everything.
Went down to see Dad. I had my copy for
him and autographed it. One of the best pictures I have,
my sister said she even loves is a picture of
him in my car. We got out playing a pool
and I gave him his copy in the car and
he's sitting in my passenger seat reading his inscription, and
it's just the sweetest smile on his face. And I'm like,

(52:33):
that's the moment. That's the moment, you know, And I'm like,
that was a tender moment. So when Dad passed, one
of the things I told my siblings said, I want
my copy of the book I gave him, and we
were on a mission to find it, and at first
we couldn't find it, and they found it and they
made sure I got it. I'm like, that's all I
wanted that. I just wanted this because that memory is
tied to this. But yeah, so the book, the book

(52:57):
is I keep talking about the book. The book is
called this much I know of the space between and
it's available on my website. I'm happy to sign it
for you.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Just tell me all the links value everyone.

Speaker 4 (53:08):
Yeah, yeah, you can attack because there's a place you
can tell me how to autograph it for you. But
the book is called this much I know. The space
between what it was crazy is that it came out
in twenty nineteen, so it took a while to get
it done.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
That's what I'm saying. I know it's going to take
a while. It's not going to be open nights, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 (53:27):
But in twenty twenty it won second place nonfiction at
the Faith and Fellowship Book Festival, and I'm like, this
is confirmation from God I'm doing something right. Yes, yes,
and it's it's just been crazy to watch that. But
the whole process was cathartic. I learned a lot about
myself in the process because I'm a writer and when
I'm writing and you're just writing your story right and

(53:50):
things just start coming.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
In, I agree, like, how did I remember that all
the details?

Speaker 4 (53:58):
The thing for me was the connection. Yes, that's when
I was writing my book is when I started to
realize that that process of if I didn't if I
didn't have to think, I didn't have to feel that
whole thing. I learned that from writing the book and
reading what I was writing, because sometimes when you're writing,

(54:19):
it becomes an emotional thing, so it gets the logical
brain out of the way and more stuff comes out.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Right.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Wow, Well, Sue, I do believe that we have our viewers,
whether they're watching us right now, where they're watching us
a month from now, whether they're watching a year from now,
they will find healing. And for those who are searching
to see if there's someone who even come close to

(54:50):
your story, if Sue is that person on today, I
would like for you to reach out and as you
are in the comment sections, you know, just encourage. Like
I said in the beginning, healing is continuous. You heal
every day. There's something new that you're realizing. Ahh, this
is what caused this, and now you can face that

(55:11):
and you get rid of that and you come here
and it's continuous, but it's beautiful, right. So what you
also need to do is once you think yes, okay,
you have to trust the process. No one says that
the days are always going to be the greatest days.
You're gonna have low moments. But the point is to

(55:32):
get up and not throw in the towel and not
give up because you're pushing to get to the finished
line of your life. You want to get there, go
beyond existing and living because you why not realize it.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
Twenty years you've been existing. You have not lived. Thirty years,
You've just been existing.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Not live, get up, go to work, the Gary kids,
nothing to life, nothing that you look forward to or enjoying.
I now look forward to brunches, I look forward to
getting up.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
I look forward to is there event going on? I
need to get up. I need to dress up.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
I need to find an outfit. But when you're dealing
with the pain, there's no joy in depression, there's no hope.
Depression is a place of hopelessness. It's telling you unworthy
and all of that. It's time to get out of that.
And I would like to use, you know, the scripture
reference where Jesus left the ninety nine to get the

(56:28):
one and I believe that one person is you, and
you just need to cry out and say Lord, I
need you and I want my healing to start today.
So soon as we close, what hope would you would
like to share with the individuals that are watching us
on today.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (56:45):
Great, And it's kind of springs bords off what you
just shared when some minds people say, well, what what's
the catalyst? And what I have told my counselor when
I walked in and see her was I'm not if
we're doing this, I'm not stopping til we're done, and
life happens, and life continues to happen. I've been with
her from since two thousand and eight, and I'm not
ashamed of that because life helped me through living two

(57:07):
parents and all kinds of in between.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
Yess.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
But when I told her this is my catalysm goes
right to what you said, is that a meaning a
manageable level of tolerable existence is no longer an option,
and say that again, this is my monitors. Still it
challenges me to do what I don't feel like doing.
A manageable level of tolerable existence is no longer an option.

(57:36):
And to let me share this two more things. So
first would be it's what my life versus and it's
my hold on verse and I share this with your
listeners now. So I'm seventy one, twenty and twenty one.
And when we put emphasis on certain words, though you
have made me see troubles many and bitter, you will

(57:59):
restore my life again from the bottom of the depths.
You will again bring me up. You will increase my
honor and comfort me once again. It's right there in
the Psalms, and I love that will and again, because
God is faithful. It may not feel like it. You

(58:20):
may feel so abandoned and alone that you feel like
God is just dumpy off the face of the earth.
I will tell you this. That's it lie straight from
the pit, and that is where you have to dig
deep and dare to believe that you do matter, that
God's word is true. It is not a multiple choice

(58:42):
Morgasborg where you get to choose what's right and what's not. No,
it is all in its entirety. And daring to believe
you matter means daring to believe the Word applies to
you right now, in the muck, in the mire, in
the dirt, in the effects of sin. What happened to
you is not your fault, and God did not make

(59:06):
it happen either.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
No.

Speaker 4 (59:08):
We are in a sinful world. Sinful people do sinful things,
and there are consequences good and bad for sin. Yes,
and I'm going to say consequences good and bad. There's
consequences for sin and effects of sin. And what you
are struggling with is an effect of a sinful act.
Or multiple sinful acts. Yes, and Jesus has that solution.

(59:31):
Jesus is this solution. And Jesus with skin on may
very well look like a life coach with me. And
I don't say that in rightful way or to a
counselor or to a support group or whatever. Jesus has
skin on and it's all around you, and the first
step has to come from you. Yes, Now, sometimes it's

(59:53):
hard to take that first step. He is need little encouragement.
And I have something for you to help with that.
Go to my website, as doctor Lynn said, that website
will be there, Sue Bowls dot com. I have what
I call Hump Day Help, and it's just a weekly
text I send out on Wednesdays. It's just an encouraging text,
that's all it is, just to help you get over

(01:00:15):
the hump of the week. And sometimes, as she said,
you just need somebody to speak a little encouragement to you.
I'd be honored if you allow me to be that
person for you. Just Just go to my website and
sign up for it and you'll start getting it right away.
Because I care about you, but I don't carry about you.
I don't care about you nearly much as God cares

(01:00:35):
about you, Yes, and he wants to shower you with
love and heal you so you can live the life
you don't think you deserve, yes, because you do deserve it.
You do, you do.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
Thank you so much too. You've been truly a blessing
to us here. And as you were speaking, I couldn't
help but to go to Uh. The woman caught an
adultery and they test, did you know? They tested to
see what his reaction was. But he reacted in kind.

(01:01:09):
He reacted in compassion. He did not allow them to stoner,
but instead look at them because in this case they
were perpetrators wanting her life. But he said they didn't
condemn you, and I sure won't. But what he left
with her was go and sin no more. Once you

(01:01:32):
have been delivered from something.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Don't go back to it. Stay free, stay alive.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Okay, And like Sue said, dear, I double deer you
to say yes to living today, yes to a brighter future. Yes,
I'm ready to tell my story.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
And that's it. That's it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
So again, Sue, I thank you so much, and I
don't believe this will be the last time, because you'll
be coming back there will be a moment as a
mentor to come in and poor so you can have
questions and Q and A and anything, yes and anything
from this episode. Any questions that you have, we can

(01:02:23):
come back and address it. So you do have to comment,
you do have to react, because it's based on Please.

Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
Yes, I'd love to interact with you, guys. I want
to hear you thinking you what do you what are
your questions, what are your doubts? Let's talk because we
can't help each other towards the cross without talking first.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
And you can do this in the privacy of your home.
You don't have to be in a public space. So
if you were looking for someone you didn't find anyone,
you can either reach out to me or you can
reach out to Sue whichever person that you feel you
know what you find relatable and comfortable with.

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
That is what we're here for.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
We don't need your details, we don't need your street address,
we don't need anything and that. We just want to
go back into that place and time that you once
dealt with that trauma and just deal with it so
that you can heal for real.

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
All right, heal for real. I just want to pray, Father,
in the name of Jesus. I thank you. I thank
you for this session. Father.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
I feel like the wells of healing have been poured.
I feel like the bandages have been taken off. I
feel like the stitches, Father God, have been addressed in
this episode.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
And I believe in truth that healing has begun.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
In this space where you are in your car, where
you're sitting on the couch, whether you're just at a park,
wherever you are watching this right now.

Speaker 3 (01:03:57):
The Holy Spirit is there to minister under you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
And there are destiny helpers available that God will send
your way, that's in your community, online, wherever it is.

Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
Accept that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Accept the help because, like Sue said earlier, we cannot
do this alone. But the Holy Spirit, Oh my God,
sweet Holy Spirit, fill your children heart at this time,
as the tears flow, the shackles fall off, the chains
fall off. That dark pit has opened and light us

(01:04:32):
come in and Jesus thame. I pray, Amen, Amen, Amen.
Thank you so much Sue for being here on the set,
and everyone stay tuned for more and again. Emerging the
Power comes on Wednesdays at six pm and every other
Saturday at six pm for our bilingual audience.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
A platform where resilience meets transformation. Here we amplify voices
that have face trials, trauma, and adversity, stories that inspire hope,
healing and empowerment. Every episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with
individuals who have risen from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose.

(01:05:16):
Join us as we break the silence, uplift one another,
and emerge stronger together. New episodes air Wednesdays at six
pm English and Saturdays at six pm, with select Saturdays
in Creole for our Haitian audience

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Ragamuffin Redemption: Sue's Healing Through Truth and Faith

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The Ragamuffin Redemption: Sue's Healing Through Truth and Faith

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