July 23, 2025 • 50 mins
Minister Alicia Hurt joins Emerge and Empower Podcast TV with a powerful testimony of navigating grief, disappointment, and deep faith. After facing multiple miscarriages and the heartbreaking struggle of not being able to conceive, Alicia vulnerably shares how God met her in the silence and the sorrow. As a minister of the gospel, she unpacks the emotional and spiritual weight of infertility—and how her journey through pain became a platform for healing others. If you’ve ever questioned your purpose during pain, this episode is for you.
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🎙 Emerge & Empower Podcast TV – Hosted by Dr. Linda Joseph
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⚠️Disclaimer: Viewer and listener discretion is advised. Content may include sensitive topics. Guest views are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Dr. Linda Joseph, Shemergence, or Emerge & Empower Media.
🎧 Listen at: emergeandempowertv.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: Emerge and Empower Podcast TV
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/emerge-empower-podcast-tv--6068978/support.
🎙 Emerge & Empower Podcast TV – Hosted by Dr. Linda Joseph
📺 Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@EmergeandEmpowerTV
🌐 Website: www.emergeandempowertv.com
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/dr.lindajoseph
💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drlindajoseph
📧 Guest inquiries & speaking requests: shemergenceinfo@gmail.com
⚠️Disclaimer: Viewer and listener discretion is advised. Content may include sensitive topics. Guest views are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Dr. Linda Joseph, Shemergence, or Emerge & Empower Media.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Emerge and Empower podcast TV, a platform where
resilience meets transformation. Here we amplify voices that have faced trials, trauma,
and adversity, stories that inspire hope, healing and empowerment. Every
episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with individuals who have risen
(00:21):
from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose. Join us as
we break the silence, uplift one another, and emerge stronger together.
New episodes air Wednesdays at six pm English and Saturdays
at six pm, with select Saturdays in Creole for our
Haitian audience.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hey everyone, welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
It's one of those days and one of those weeks,
but we add thankful for everything that we have come
away from. Many of you have gone through all graduations,
those from kindergarten, if you haven't.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
That young, middle school, high school, college, This.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Has been the season of graduations, and yes they have graduated.
So Emerging of Power is just the same, another level
that you have come away from, and now you can
look back on and you can talk and you can
share about it. And as you share about it, many
others who are not yet where you are. Day two
can say one day I can speak like her and
(01:25):
I can be as bold and truly move into my
next into my expansion, into my new dimension.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
But the first step, of course, is to heal.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
So welcome back to Emerging and Power with your host,
Doctor Lynn j As you know it, and you already
know what I'm gonna say, go ahead and subscribe, like
and share now whatever platform you're in, go ahead with
our YouTube channel and share from there so we can
grow our YouTube audience. Now, this podcast is also on
(02:00):
Apple and all other audio.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Platforms, So do go show yourself.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Hey, doctor Lynn, I'm hearing you right now on Apple,
I'm hearing you right now on the many different platforms,
or I'm watching you on rocal TV with CTR Media.
So wherever you're connected from, let's get some feedback. Wherever
you are, whether you're around, wherever you are around the world.
Connect because we have people from Australia that's been guests
(02:27):
Ghana all over the world, and we're looking for guests
wherever you are. Because of this virtual capacity, we can
connect and continue sharing those stories.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Today is like no other.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
We have a guest that will be coming on and
sharing her own emergence, what she has emerged from what
she has turned into healing. Healing is a beautiful thing.
Why not embrace healing? The question is why not? Why
would you want to hold on to all that hurt
and all that pain and wallow alone.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
No, it's time to heal for real. Stay tuned. We'll
be bringing our guests on right after this break.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
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Speaker 3 (04:13):
Alisha Hurt is a dynamic nonprofit founder, minister, international speaker,
best selling author, and a certified Christian educator specializing in
leadership management and a wellness advocacy. Her life's mission centers
on empowering women and families through alistic healing, spiritual development,
and community centered support. Alicia's voice is both powerful and compassionate,
(04:37):
resonating with those seeking guidance, restoration, and purpose in every
season of life. As the executive director of I See
My Baby, Inc, Alisa leads with authensity and purpose. Inspired
by her own journey through infertility and personal loss, she
has built a platform that not only offers support, but
(04:59):
cultiv make transformation. Her organization provides education, resources, and safe
spaces for women to address emotional, spiritual, and physical healing
through faith based practices, herbal wellness, and sisterhood. In addition
to her leadership and ministry work, a Lisha is a
passionate advocate for women's wellness and generational legacy. Through workshops,
(05:25):
speaking engagement, and her published works, she educates families on
natural healing faith identity and intentional parenting. Alicia's impact grows
and strength and voice. Hey everyone, let us welcome Alisha
(05:46):
to the set on today.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
You heard a lot. As you can tell.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
This is a woman that wears many hats, but her
story starts somewhere and that is how come she's turned
up being into purpose. And you know we church folk
turn her tests into test deemony who don't like a
good testimony shout from the back.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Let's hear it.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Because we have the minister, all right, I can actually
get radical of being myself on this one on the set.
She will take us through her journey.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Lisa.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to Emerging Empower.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
I'm so glad to.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
Have you here.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
We just hit it off on the phone and.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I just love, love, love the vibe and meeting a
fellow's sister in Christ.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Welcome. Introduce yourself outside of that bio.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Amen.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
Well, I am Alicia Hurt. I'm a wife of nineteen
years it's November, a mother of four of which I'm
told I could not have, and I'm a sermon leader
and everything that I do.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Love it, love it, love it. I mean we started talking.
We went from a to Z before I know it.
We was on every topic you can think of. But
that's what happen when you find people with like mindedness,
who think alike and you connected. It's like you've already
known this person for a very long time, yet you've
just met them in that moment and just in a
phone call. Now we're finally putting a face to the voice.
(07:14):
And again, welcome, Welcome, Welcome. We're gonna dive right into
your story. And you heard it in the bio. Her
journey was you infertility and Alicia, let's just take everyone
to your journey.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
What is that like?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
We're gonna give a good testimony, so you know how
to build up that testimony. So let's just get right
into your story.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Absolutely, thank you so much for the opportunity. I don't
take lightly being on your platform. So thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
So I was born and rady yeah yeah, So I'm
up Trinidadian West Indian background. My parents came here with
my grandparents and then came Alicia.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Right.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
So I'm one of three children for my mother and
four for my dad, and so we came from humble
beginnings in Landover, Maryland, got married young, right, out of
high school to my husband and we went ten years.
I went to school, I was ordained, I was working
in a church. I was on everything that you're supposed
(08:18):
to do, right, but that one thing that I wanted
and I desired.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
You know that old song nursery rhyme is first come.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
Love didn't come, married, didn't come to baby, baby, Well,
the baby didn't come. It didn't come. And so my
husband he was fine, he was consent because his desire
really wasn't to have children, but it was my I
came from a family and you know in the West Indies,
his family togetherness, and I'm like, well I don't have
that in my household. So it definitely showed on my
(08:48):
professional aspect of being a manager and a leader.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
You know, everything was black and white. It was just
you know, this is it.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
And one day I did confide in one of my
coworkers and they suggested MV I was like, I went
through all the testing, what is it.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
So we went through in vitrol, we went through three rounds,
we got pregnant.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
The first time it was unsuccessful, and then the same
for each other's cycle.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
And so with insurance, you.
Speaker 6 (09:12):
Have to either go to another insurance company or you
would have to pay out of pocket. And so when
I went back to my husband, I'm like, well, what
are we going to do? And he was like, well,
we're not going through this process again. He said, you know,
you were really.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Hurt, and I was.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
And it took us, our couple, our relationship through a
lot of turmoil with the ups and downs of the pregnancy,
the hormone. I remember one time driving down the street
and just hearing the enemy saying, if you can't do
that one thing, just open the door. And it ended
your life, you know, And I just thank God that
I didn't, thank God that I didn't, and I continue
(09:48):
to just push through.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
But it was it was must to see faith.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I'll tell you that I definitely had some highs and
loads with my mental stability and my face.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
I was upset.
Speaker 6 (09:59):
I was mad at God. I wasn't talking to him.
I felt like he forgot me. I felt like I
was alone even though I had my family around me.
And so you could just imagine how that is. Like
I'm managing big organizations, like I'm in the church, I'm supporting,
like I have these degrees. Why can't I be a mother?
Why can't I have a baby in my wounds? Well,
(10:20):
lo and behold. I went back to the doctor. I
was like, look, what else can I do? This said
without your husband's consent. Unfortunately, we can't go another round.
And he did send me for a procedure to open
up my lining a little more because he said the
opening was very tiny.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Maybe that could help.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
I went back to him again and he's like, mishurt.
I mean because I'm very persistent, that's just me. And
he was like, miss Hurt, your husband has to say okay.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
He didn't. We even discussed adoption.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
That just wasn't in our journey, and so we went
on with life.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Well, lo and behold.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
God gave a message to my husband and he said,
you know, God told me we are going to have
a child, and that we were living in Baltimore, Maryland,
and so he said, we need to move closer to
your parents, back to PG County. And so I said, well, listen,
if God's talking to you, because he's not talking to me,
I guess that's what we'll do. So we did move back.
We moved back and we were in my parents' basement.
(11:13):
We sold our house and but the way we sold it.
It was subject too, so we couldn't buy another one
at the time. Well, we're in my parents' basement. We're
living life and I'll continue with my medical.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Health and going to the doctor.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
And so my doctor said they saw something on my
ovary and they needed to do a procedure, and so.
Speaker 5 (11:30):
I said, okay, no problem.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
They said you need to have a pregnancy test done
before we could do the procedure. So I did that
and I got the call and the doctor said hey.
The staff brother said hey, and it's hurt. We got
your results, but you cannot have the procedure. And so
I said, well why and they said you're pregnant. And
so I was like, what say that again?
Speaker 5 (11:51):
We're like ah, And so I called my husband and.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
He was like already knew. He was like the Lord
already told me. I said, so, see this thing with
you and the Lord, right, how do you keep telling you?
Speaker 5 (12:01):
And he ain't talking to me? And so to me, why.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Can't tell me, like come on, I'm like the one
going to church more and do it.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
But that also speaks to your relationship with.
Speaker 6 (12:17):
God being beyond the going to church, the act the service,
like you have to have an instimate relationship with him,
no matter what. And so we had our baby girl.
But in that she was born not breathing. The cord
was wrapping around her neck multiple times, she was limped literally,
and we had a birth plan and everything, and I
(12:38):
told my husband go over to our baby girl, and
they were pumping on her chest, pumping, and I felt
like all over again.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Like come on God. So I went through all this
to have her.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
We have her. Then she's born not breathing, like come on, Lord, like,
I know this is not our life. I know this
is not our journey. So she stayed in the nick
you we went home with out heard that feeling. I
remember just taking a shower, just solving, just solving, and
they let me stay longer. They were like, okay, your
insurance of paper one more day. And I'm hoping in praying.
(13:11):
I mean, I'm getting up and I'm going back and
forth with my baby. I'm trying to breastfeed, you know,
just the determinent that to go home with my baby.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
We did not.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
And I remember being in that shower just letting that
water beat on me, and I was just like.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
What did I do? God? Forgive me? What is it?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Why?
Speaker 6 (13:27):
Why am I going do this? It was just a
really lonely place. But thank God, she came home. She
came home with us. She did have jaundice and things
like that, but she worked through it. Her first several years.
We were back and forth, you know, at the emergency room.
But God is so good and my mom, she truly.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Covered us with her prayers. She was there, Lord, she
was there.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
And we ended up having baby number two and Maurice,
and we ended up having baby number three, Aufrey Delores.
And I just remembered, everybody keep prophingsund about the boy.
So every child we thought would be a boy, every
child we thought would be a boy, we didn't get
a boy. But I did ask God for four kids.
And my husband's like, you need to stop asking for stuff, right, he's.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
The one who said he heard God. Now you can't
put it in your request.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
So I remember one year during we call it All
Year's Night but New Year's Eve service, and the pastor
gave us all prayer cards and he said that if
you write your prayer, you're specific in it, you're faithful,
you really trust God in it, he.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Will you will see it come into past.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
And so I wrote there, a house big enough for
my family, a job to help provide for my family.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
And I said my baby boy Darryl Junior.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
And my husband kind of peeked over as I was writing,
and he was like shaking his head, like you know,
and I was like, mind you.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Be, you know, And so I put it in my Bible.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
And every so often you go back and you look
at it, and then you start to check things off.
So we got the house, thank you Jesus. All right,
we got the job.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
Thank you Jesus.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
All right, the baby all right, put it back in
your Bible, and you're going with life. And so we
ended up getting pregnant, and I was like, oh my god,
this is probably the baby boy. Like I asked before,
like this is a baby boy. Well around six.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Weeks I ended up having a missed courage.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
It took me all the way back to not even
having kids like that, feeling my head everything detro that
didn't it just it just knocked me back.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
And yes, yes, and I mean my mom, everybody's around me,
but you just feel lonely, like, oh my god. And
so I had to do my work. I was able
to have a.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Therapist even through all my pregnancies I went through like
Postparliament things, and so I just went back into therapy
do what.
Speaker 5 (15:48):
I needed to do. I started journaling, and lo and behold.
Speaker 6 (15:51):
During that time, my mom was diagnosed with four stage
lung cancer just right there.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
She was a nurse by trade, and it was like what,
like how did they miss it? Like this is righty?
And then I got pregnant.
Speaker 6 (16:05):
So all this is just going on, I mean, and
it was wearing on me physically mentally.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
At one point I was walking with a cane. That's
how much it was just all on me.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
But thank god we had my son. At thirty seven
weeks we did a cesarean. I have my two blagated.
I said, thank you Jesus.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
This is when and we got the boy. We have
the completeness. And so beyond me going through this and
being able.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
To come out victorious and say thank you Jesus, I
also needed to give back, and so I wrote.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
A book called I See My Baby, and in that.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
I'm talking through literally raw and transparently my journey navigating
and then inspiring women to say, you are not alone.
You may think that this is something you only feel,
that thought of doing things that you say, oh, I
can't speak this out.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
You're not the only one feeling that way.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
And so I vowed in that book to give back,
but I didn't know that God wanted me to take
it a step further and then.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Birth my book here says I see my baby. So
this is the book here that Alisa has give back.
And so where can they find this book?
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Amazon?
Speaker 6 (17:23):
Also on our website, and I see my baby dot
o work slash shop, all.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Right, everybody hear her and colors and everything like that.
So she's brought it back here. It's nice. You can't
miss it, nice pink cover with a mom and her baby,
so you can't miss it if you're looking for the cover,
(17:50):
all right. And this is her way of giving back,
all right, this is the give back. We must understand
why people go through day do and this is all why.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
So yo, why was I see my baby? All right?
And the journey even though you went through it real quickly.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
And you told us it wasn't that quick because you
said you guys were married for ten years, all right,
and hopeful nothing happened. So the excitement, say this has happened.
When you're healed and restored, she could brush you laugh.
But at those times, you know you was in church
and you're seeing people being delivered. You've seen a lot
of things happening as a minister of the gospel, doing
(18:33):
what you can for the kingdom, but yet you're not
getting your answer. That is the place I would like
to stay for a little bit, because there's.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
A lot of people that are watching.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Right now who it might not be a baby, but
it is something that you're waiting for, which is like
a baby. You're waiting to give birth to this thing,
all right, And it seems like you've probably given a
lot of stillborns or you know, you've.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Got a lot of missus.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
So let's speak to that emotion as you are in ministry, hurting, wanting,
all right, and it hasn't happened yet because I heard
you see a few times. Why I've done everything I've
done here, I'm in church, I'm doing this, I'm doing this.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Why why why why, let's talk about that for a moment.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
Well, when I.
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Look back at my journey, I thank God that there
was a delay, because one I was married early. I
was twenty one, my husband was twenty three, and we
had some maturing and growing up to be as a
married couple, and to me, it's not fair and I
see it. I see it in my line of work,
(19:47):
children being born into situations that it's not.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Fair to them. They didn't ask for that.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
And so he prepared my husband and I to make
sure that we were silent and even after having kid,
we winter things because marriage is a journey, like they're
ups and downs and stagnations and hiccups and things of
that sort. But I know that that was one of
the reasons that God delayed me. The other part is
I am the type of person.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
I'm of Caribbean descent. We are very we have prayed right,
we make sure you know all.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
So God wanted to make sure that he.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Got the glory. Yea had nothing to do with Felicia
with dryl Yes.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
You know, scientists and doctors say, well, do you know
about the birds and of Greece.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
We get that. But if God don't say yes, there's
no connection. That it's not happening.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
There's no baby that I even went to scientific route
within vitro, and he wanted to show me that it's
in his time, that is in his divine time.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
And then because I.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Did this, this happened. God don't share his glory.
Speaker 6 (20:59):
At all at all. And I remember my one of
my first jobs that in the bank.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
I was looking around and I was seeing people of
different age background.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
And I was like, this can't be it, like this
is great being a teller. But and I would ask
them how long you been here?
Speaker 5 (21:16):
Just thurd vying and researching because I didn't want to
go to school. It just was just too much.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
And I remember asking, well, I don't want my purpose.
And someone gave me a book called The Purpose Driven Life.
I read that book, but that wasn't my purpose, right,
that wasn't But what was it?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
What was in me was trying to come out.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
And so that was a way for God to kind
of open that door for me and end that.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
I started going to school. I started.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
I went to secular school. Then I went through the
seminary and I started to walk the path.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
That God wanted me to walk.
Speaker 6 (21:47):
But had I gotten what I wanted, which is a baby,
right then and there, I don't know, it wouldn't have happened.
I see my baby book wouldn't be here me now
at forty one years old, saying that I'm just gonna
listen to what God is saying, and release everything, all
my worldly treasures. That's another segment and literally hits so
low that it's like.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Really, Lord, really God. But again he needs the.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
Glory and he wants to change someone else's life through
what I'm going through. And I'm like, okay, God, I'll
be that backsuit. But I wouldn't have been that if
i'd have had my kids, because I'd have been about
my business.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Right.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
But when we're going through though, we're not understanding that.
We let's say we get selfish, right, it's about us,
it's note about you God. This is what I want God,
and this is what I want you to do. And
I you even given God ultimatums. Okay, if you don't
do this by then you know all of these things.
(22:44):
But then we talk about even in the prayer that
we have that says our Father and Mother and ever.
You know, what's the question, Thine will be done, not
my will be done. So we always want to be
on my This is what I want, how I want it.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
You know this is the time, ten years, this.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Is the goal.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
It was not prophetic. He didn't reveal ten years to you.
You just want to make it happen. So of course
he's gonna be looking. You're like, okay, all right, go
on with your bad self. Let's see you do it.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
That's right, God, I'm.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Just let's see you do it, all right. And so
you do, and you try and you try.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Again, and they're telling you there is no rate because
I said, we're.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Putting God in science.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Now, scientifically, there is no reason why this should not
happen because we have done everything scientifically possible.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, who's the great scientists.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
The great physic he is?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Who is the great who is the great in designer?
Who is the architect?
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
And so what people don't understand is we don't like it,
but we have to go through. And the reason why
you went through, and I say it because for you.
In my case, God give me the kids first. I
had everything up front. That's the way he figured. That's
(24:25):
how it worked for me. That would build me, mature me.
Like Moses had to go in the desert, he had
to do the forty years.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
He had to go through all of that before he
could lead the people. Everybody's journey is different, right, So
I did all of the king that I was still doing.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
The kingdom were working alongside the husband, but fully doing
kingdom was after the kids. Why because I needed to
go through all of that. Matural grow understand that children.
So there's a reverse. There's folk here. How can you
blessed so and so and I ain't got mine yet?
You're not in their season. Yeah, okay, we all have
(25:06):
different seasons, and we have to stop being jealous of
what is happening over there. It's not yet your time,
and then we want to push or force God's hand.
You know, well, God, I'm tired of waiting. I'm just
gonna go and do this. So as a result, you
understand later. See when you going through, you don't want
(25:30):
to hear nothing. You don't want to hear that. And
the worst thing, as Christians say, is we don't want
I don't know about you, but when I'm going to
don't no cliche, don't tell me, Come on, like I no,
I already know that. Don't tell me that word. Don't
tell me. Don't tell me because I read don't it
(25:52):
no cliche? Because why we're in ahead we want things
certain way, and it's like I know God can do it.
I know God's time, but this is the time I want.
We're saying all this right, it's you. You're saying all
this to yourself. So you go ten years, right, when
(26:14):
did it click? Maybe the first year or two was okay,
because you know, you guys are still young.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Y'all.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Wasn't in a hurry. What part of the marriage that
you really felt like now is time? Unless you was
that woman who like, it's gonna happen this first year?
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Well, it was the pressure around me, honestly, and the
questions everybody.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
They're saying, well, when are you going? And I honestly
thought it with my husband, I was.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
Like, is he you went wrong?
Speaker 5 (26:40):
With me? I don't know what's going on. And then
when we went through the vita and they was like, no,
you good, I was like.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Like like come on, and so now I can't be
pointing a finger.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
It's like all right, now you got to touch within.
What is it? What's going on? Why? You know? And
then I was like I'm broken. And then I was like, well,
is he gonna leave me? Well, well wait a minute,
you know.
Speaker 6 (27:06):
And then and then the intimu re card, Well, what's
the point if I said, you know, I went through
a lot, went through a lot.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
One of the biggest things of women's fear is if
you do not have a child, will he stay?
Speaker 6 (27:21):
I mean it was many, many a times where I
would check its I mean, being real, this is so vulnerable,
but I would check its prom you know, his activities
and things just insecurity.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Started to really said it and.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
I'm like, because I can't have this. And honestly, my
husband could care less if we had kids.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
So it was me. It was just something a story
that I was just making up in my mind. And
I was also putting stress on myself that.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
I didn't need to put on myself because I wanted
this one thing.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
And then I yearned to be a mother.
Speaker 6 (27:53):
I would start to dream about my babies, right, I
would start to look and take look, how would my
belly love? And you know, I had friends around me
also that got pregnant.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Just like that. Once one young lady went to I
went to school with her first time. At least that
showed up. She ended up being pregnant her red locks.
Speaker 6 (28:11):
And then again I'm going through my sack, Lie, I
like what.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
You said about it.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
At least they told you, you know, people be telling you stuff.
Speaker 6 (28:16):
Like you know, and I'm just like, well, what what
is it, and I was the oldest for my mother,
and so my sister.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
My sister asked to me she had kids already.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
So I was just.
Speaker 6 (28:29):
Like, you know, it was just it was a lot,
it was and then for me to have to face
the fact that what if.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
You won't have kids, what does this look like? Are
you gonna be okay with that?
Speaker 6 (28:41):
And I'm an overthinker anyway, so you could just be
magining how I was working myself up and then to me,
as I look at it now, I probably when they
committed to my.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Husband, I started most of those arguments. I did.
Speaker 6 (28:56):
I started most most of the shoes, you know, because
of something within me, and he was fad.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
See, in the beginning, it was good for you to
say it was him so you didn't have to think
about yourself and yeah, he's the problem.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
It's not me.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
He's the problem. It's not me, because you're pushing that away,
like I don't want to face that, you know, I
don't want to face that. And if it's me, let
it be him for now until we figure that out.
And then once that happened, now you have to really
face you and you're thinking, you have all these thoughts.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Like what did I do? What happened? What did I
need to do? Is? What am I paying for?
Speaker 5 (29:39):
Is?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I mean my family had kids? Maybe am I the one?
Maybe that that's not going.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
To be the one up?
Speaker 3 (29:45):
So you have all these thoughts, you know, coming to you,
adding onto insecurities because now, well he could just go
out and have one with somebody and I don't even
know about it, So all these thoughts will come. I mean,
we're human. Who hasn't you know, felt those ways? Even
(30:07):
the men men feel the same way too. When the
wife can't have children, you know, it has everyone thinking
and in so thinking, sometimes people make some major mistakes
because they want to go find out and then so
finding how they end up being in a relationship, you know,
with someone they shouldn't just to go find out if
(30:29):
they really are the one with the problem. So things
can go to some great extremes when faced with such pressure.
And I believe to all the kingdom and relationships and
the community looking there when people just get married, leave
the people alone. Stop putting this pressure on people making
(30:52):
the same like you've been married for two years with
the baby, don't do that. You know, Mothers who want grandchildren,
you know, don't do that, you know, understand, Allow the
young people you know to have that piece.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
If you mentioned it once, don't mention it every time
you see them.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Then you hammer it putting these stresses in, you know,
because it can put friction in the relationship because of
the outside noise. You know, And like you said, you're
the one who wanted them. He can care less if
you didn't. But sometimes men do appear to not care,
but they really do. They just don't express it like
(31:31):
we do, you understand. So he went through that with you.
He went through those disappointments with you, when you had
those losses. He went through we as women, Like I said,
well as my body. I'm the one who went through it.
No psychologically, spiritually, these men went through it with you
the same. But at the same time, if you're broken,
(31:52):
they have to be strong.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
So it might appear.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
That they are not going to the emotions because they're
being strong for you.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
But when they're away from you, or when they're in
the bathroom, in.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
The shower, you know, I've seen I heard men who
talk where they cried. They use a moment in the
shower to shed those tears. You understand me To go
through all of that that women don't even realize that's happening.
That's why I think in relationships, people should be honest
with each other when you're hurting or hurting together, Baby,
you're not in this alone.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Share those emotions. That way, you are stronger and not
feel alone.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
You know, in this, you know, because you might have
someone with you, but then you feel lonely because you
feel like you're in it by yourself. And I'm sure
you had a lot of those I'm in this by myself.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
Moments, right, Yeah, absolutely, And I definitely leaned on my mom.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
It only took me when she got.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
Sick where I really truly started to open up more
to my husband. And I was like, you know, this journey, God,
I wouldn't have asked for it to go this way,
but I kind of understand now because really I should
have been leaning. Like in the world it tells you
like you become one, like you lean to your husband,
you leave your mom and your dad and so. But
(33:09):
in that my mom was the one that I would
always talk to. She would always have words of consolation,
and my dad too, but more so my mother. She
was my person that she got me and I was
able to really share with her, you know how I felt.
But then I still felt back of my mind like
she's given me what she's supposed to give me as
a mother, but not from understanding because she didn't lose
(33:31):
any of her.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Kids, you know. So I still was feeling alone. But
I still was able.
Speaker 6 (33:35):
To release some of it, not until I started to
do like different Facebook groups and really get into infertility.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
And talk to people.
Speaker 6 (33:44):
Like I said when I talked to my coworker, like,
oh you were doing infertility. Oh you used and because
you always think you're saen and so you're not just
going to go and say, hey, my name is Alicia
and I'm having a hard time having a baby. No.
So just me being vulnerable, I was able to find
my tribe in my village and lean on them, so
(34:05):
to speak.
Speaker 5 (34:05):
And you're completely correct.
Speaker 6 (34:07):
Men do suffer, and they suffer in silence because of that,
because it's like, Okay, you're physically going through it, then
you mentally, but they're going through it as well because
he probably was envisioning his baby, his boy, his girl,
whatever it.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
Is, becoming a father.
Speaker 6 (34:21):
So I do agree with you that we don't talk
enough about what the man goes through it will.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Right right right.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
So it was at the eleventh year or the tenth
year that you had that first.
Speaker 5 (34:37):
Yeah, the tenth year, the tenth year.
Speaker 6 (34:40):
So my baby will be ten. My baby is ten,
she's March to twelve. She gets ten and with squear
and our nine peg. So yes, right there, yes, ma'am,
there's a mask.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
I like, Hannah, you're waiting so long, and he didn't
just give you one.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
You ask them for four. You put in your requests,
you got your four.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
And that's why I tell people, be careful what you
pray for, careful what you ask for, because you just
might get God just might you. And I literally would
tell my family like I remember, and my sister law
reminds me, she said, you said to Alicia, And so
when I'm on the phone, like, oh my god, these kids,
(35:24):
she said, you always talked about being a woman in
the shoe that had so many kids you didn't know
what to do.
Speaker 5 (35:30):
You sound like her now.
Speaker 6 (35:32):
And I'm like I do, but I wouldn't change it.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
For the world. And my husband will be like, you
ask for them, I said, stop saying that I did.
I did, But it's a choice.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
It becomes It gets better as they get older, especially
children that you raise, uh and train them up according
to you know, the training's Christian training, like the Bible say,
training up a child and the way that they should
go when they grow old, they do not depart from it.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Well, you trust me, you will.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
It gets better as they get older, especially the ones
like I say, children well godly will do much better
than children who do not have any fear for God
and live in a fearless life to the point they
don't respect you. But it will get better because I
myself personally have six and my youngest just turned eighteen,
so I can say, yeah, it's a joy. It's easy.
(36:28):
My life is easy now, you know. And that's why
I do what I do, and I have time for it.
You know, I have granddaughters, but I don't have to
worry about them while you know, I'm doing this and
I'm in the studio. I don't have to worry because
I set the day aside. This is all I'm going
to do. But I have someone at home that could care,
you know, and take care of them because they're old enough.
So it does get better, all right. So you might
(36:51):
have sold in tears for the ten years. But God
has given you joy now. He expedited it. You know
you got four and under what five years?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
Oh God?
Speaker 6 (37:06):
So there are ten six now ten seven, five and two?
Speaker 5 (37:11):
Okay, okay, re stepped it all down, yes, right, right,
So there's a lot of between the first and the second.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, but he's given it all to you.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
So in all that time that you were crying and
having a sleepless nights, he give it back to you.
So you've already got it even before you doubled that time.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
And he's giving you joy now.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Of course, when they make a noise and toys and
everything everywhere, you don't feel so joyous, but it's still
an excitement.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
It means that there is a dull moment.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
It's never a dull moment when you have kids, that's right,
you know, it's never a dult right.
Speaker 6 (37:49):
And I don't know if it's getting older or what,
but I've got more calm. And my oldest is like,
I wouldn't have gotten away with that. Where are you
that to do that?
Speaker 5 (38:00):
And I'm just like it's okay.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
You know.
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Then they'll cry when.
Speaker 6 (38:04):
They fall and I I listening for a certain cry
and I'm like it's fine, So it's easier.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
You know, it's getting there. So we're going to go
right into the book here.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
So the book take us through your journey and the
experience that you had. So uh, the book is basically
laying out the foundation then for.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
What you're doing.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
Correct.
Speaker 6 (38:32):
Yes, And each chapter breaks down where I was in
my life, how I felt, and it breaks up the
principle of manifesting your child, believing in your child, calling
that child to your wound, and envisioning that.
Speaker 5 (38:47):
So envision, manifesting and believe. Those are the three.
Speaker 6 (38:50):
Principles that I talked through and how I was able
to do that and how I was.
Speaker 5 (38:56):
Able to work through it.
Speaker 6 (38:57):
I'm also talking a little bit about our relationship as
I spoke of, and how it took a toll on
us and how we were happy to walk through that
and work through some things as a couple.
Speaker 5 (39:10):
And then when I went through that last.
Speaker 6 (39:12):
Miscarriage with no intervention or anything, it just was a miscarriage,
and how I had to use.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
The same skills from day.
Speaker 6 (39:19):
One again, and how I want women to understand that
just because you say, Okay, I went through it and
I'm fine, it's just like a roller coaster. That's life,
and you may have to go back to those tools
that you used before.
Speaker 5 (39:33):
I loved journaling. We created a lot of different.
Speaker 6 (39:36):
Resources, and journaling is one that's so powerful to really
help you get those thoughts out of your head on
the paper, healed from them, and then work through what
need to work through.
Speaker 5 (39:47):
And me saying that I.
Speaker 6 (39:49):
Was angry with God, some people may say, as a minister,
you actually said that, you actually felt that that It's
okay that.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
I'm actually being human. But I'm not going to state it.
Speaker 6 (39:58):
I'm not going to get stuck in how I was
able to go out of it and navigate. And then
there are other resources in the book as well, But
I just want to have a guide that a woman
that thinks, hey, I can't say anything. I don't want
nobody to know I'm embarrassed. They picked that book up
and read it, they will feel like I'm just right
there right beside them, and I want them to take
(40:21):
comfort in knowing that you are not the only one
feeling this way. This is not out of the ordinary. This,
Do not open that car door, and just in your life,
do not take that pill, like, do not do that
because God has something on the other side of your
situation ready and waiting for you.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
And it doesn't matter. My situation came with four children,
Yours may not.
Speaker 6 (40:44):
It may be adoption, it may be surgus, it may
just be no children. Let's move forward in another way
in serving God and walking your journey, but just know
that you're not there having to navigate it by yourself.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Wow, that is a beautiful thing that you present here
on today. Because we have individuals who I believe this
is reaching out to who feel like their life is
worthless because they can't have a child, their marriage is worthless,
and whatever happens, they're going back on, Oh, it's because
I can't have a child that you did this to me.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
It's because I don't have a child, because this is happening.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
To stop sabotaging yourself, you know, stop the hurt and
just find something. You know, I said this all the time,
and sometimes people have that freedom. Use it to do
something for the kingdom. You know, go be a big sister,
big brother. Add meaning to your life. You know, when
you learn to stop putting so much weight on something,
(41:48):
when God does deliver you, you'll be like, wow, ten years amen,
have gone by, but you wouldn't realize it was ten
years because by the times that gift come, it's like
all of that time that had passed, you know, wasn't
there anymore. He brings you full joy and you was like, wow,
I see why I waited so for you. Like Alicia said,
she wasn't ready. They weren't ready. They were young, they
(42:11):
still had a lot of growing to do. And even
when they had the kids, they realized there was still
a lot that they still needed to have in place.
So use this as an opportunity to build, build a legacy,
you understand me. Build yourself financially, you know, do the things,
go on vacations, do all that you can to make
(42:32):
sure that you are healed. Because a lot of people
are going into relationships with a lot of pain, with
a lot of suffering.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You have a lot going on.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
You're not even ready for what is next because you
haven't even healed yet. Okay, so do all that is
necessary on your part and let God do the rest.
But if you busy yourself with work or kingdom, whatever
it is, find something constructive to do and before you
know it, you know, you can think about it, but
(43:01):
it wouldn't be so much because you're so busy.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
You know, I got.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Things to do. But God don't forget you know. I
know I haven't been to you lately about this. You know,
when you do have those low moments because of the situation,
pray even after healing, you still have moments in a
low Lisia told you after the third child, when they
thought they were gonna have the number four, They've lost
that child, okay, and it took a back full circle,
(43:28):
all right, So healing is continuous even though she have
these children. You know that wone was still there, and
that's also a place, Alicia. I pray that you have
worked on and have God heal you in that place,
because even though that happened and you have your kids,
you know, what the enemy can do is take you
to the place of the loss and not see what
you have versus what you have lost.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
And that's where it again can be dangerous. Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
So you're not looking at what you have, but you're
focus on what you have lost, and that could pull
you into a whole different, a whole different web.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
You know that is dangerous.
Speaker 3 (44:04):
So I pray that God brings that healing to you.
Yourself and your family. All right, So we're gonna close.
And before we close, what any closing remarks that you
would give to that mother who is waiting.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
There are women I have a prayer group.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
I have women who fifteen years in marriage that has
not you know, had a child, did the same things
that you you did.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
What would you say to that individual?
Speaker 5 (44:31):
Don't lose hope? I have it chatted on my arm.
Here there's hope. There's hope because you're still living. There's hope.
Don't don't give up. I remember a colleague of me mind.
Speaker 6 (44:43):
Saying, go and buy your baby clothes and put it
in your closet.
Speaker 5 (44:47):
Now, a secular.
Speaker 6 (44:49):
Mind would say that's crazy, that's ludacris. But I had
to envision and believe that baby. Rub your belly, call
that baby to your wound, call that baby, damn, call
that baby to your womb, and continue to manifest good
things like when my baby gets here, right, and continue
to seek God because in his timing, I'm telling you,
(45:09):
all things are possible.
Speaker 5 (45:11):
Do not give up, very hope you're still living.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
And we normally close up with prayer, but see I
got a minister on here, today. I ain't got to
wear my minister out as I close out here on today.
So Minister Alisha, go ahead and close us out in prayer.
Speaker 6 (45:31):
Absolutely so did Heavenly Father. We come to you, Lord,
we're thanking you for this divine connection.
Speaker 5 (45:38):
Lord God, Lord.
Speaker 6 (45:39):
God, this is this isn't just by chance, Lord God,
this is divinely orchestrated, Lord God. And we just ask
you to bless all those that are listening and watching,
Lord God.
Speaker 5 (45:48):
Bless the host or God, Lord God. I need those
blessings too, Lord God.
Speaker 6 (45:51):
Rain down on us. Lord God, help us. Lord God,
build us up, Lord Jesus, give us the strength. Lord God,
Lord God, allow our message to move Lord with Lord God,
so that men can see the good work or God
and then do what glorified you.
Speaker 5 (46:06):
Lord.
Speaker 6 (46:06):
Help us, Lord God, that we can continue to save
more souls for you.
Speaker 5 (46:11):
Lord God. Help that wanman.
Speaker 6 (46:12):
Help that man that is listening, Lord God, and they
feel bearing, Lord God, help them, Lord God, touch their heart.
Let them know, Lord Jesus that it is their season
or fruitfulness, Lord Jesus, Lord God. Those that are listening
that say, hey, I don't want a regular baby, I
want to burth of business I want to.
Speaker 5 (46:28):
Burth a dream. Lord God.
Speaker 6 (46:29):
Let them know that they can use these same tools,
Lord God, seeking you, Lord God, and trusting you in
your time in Lord God, help them, Lord Jesus, Lord God,
just give them some type of inkling in their heart
or in their spirit, Lord Jesus, to just take that
one step, Lord God, and have faith, Lord Jesus, Lord God,
you ask us to have it just the smallest a
(46:50):
month to see Lord God.
Speaker 5 (46:52):
Lord God, You're not asking for.
Speaker 6 (46:53):
Months, Lord Jesus, but you just need us to meet you,
their Lord God, meet you and seek you, Lord God,
seek your faith.
Speaker 5 (46:59):
Lord You, this Lord God, we just thank you. We
give you all the honor. Lord God.
Speaker 6 (47:03):
We give you all the praise that is due to
your Master, this name and Jesus name.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
We pray Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
So we want to thank each and every one of you,
and I hope this episode brought healing to you and
allow you the grace to forgive yourself and just wait
on God's timing. I know it might sound like a cliche.
We don't like to hear it when we're going through,
but waiting it is your attitude when you wait that
(47:32):
determines the outcome that you would have.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
So change your attitude.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
Okay, change your attitude as you wait, and you will see.
Because God does not divide his glory. His glory is
and is alone. And what is for his glory you
get the best.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Hannah waited and it was hard, and she bawled out.
She didn't know what to do with herself when she
went before that alter that day and she said, God,
if you give me, she was specific, if you give
me a son, I would give him back to you.
And that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
At the end.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
God was just waiting for you to come in agreement
to his will and once you do that, everything that
your desire will come. So a, Lisha, I want to
thank you for being here, and don't be as strange
as she will be back everyone for the she Mergens Conference,
all right, that we'll be taking place from August fifth
to September ninth. We're still looking for people to be
(48:25):
on the panel, so Lisa, let me. Let's release you
and thank you so much. We'll connect again on the
she Mergens Conference. Bye bye, Thank you all right everyone,
So again, as I was mentioning the she Mergons conference
that's going to be aired from August fifth to September nine.
(48:48):
We're looking for people that would come and be on
the panel as we share our stories and our emergence,
all right. And that is actually all bringing in my
book three, Book three of She Mergins, all Right, which
is called on Olliet's Table, and we'll be followed up
with the Table Restored, which will be a teaching guide.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
That you can use on your seminary.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
You can use it as a Bible study, all right,
on the Table Restored. So I want to thank you
to every one of you that I have connected here today,
and don't forget to share, Share, share, share, and subscribe, subscribe, subscribe,
for we would like for our views to grow and
build and I can't do that without you, So thank you,
(49:39):
Thank you so much for your give back by connecting
with me on the show. So until next time, Bye bye,
Welcome to Emerge and Empower podcast TV, a platform where
resilience meets transformation. Here we amplify voices that have faced trials, trauma,
and adversity, stories that inspire hope, healing and empowerment. Every
episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with individuals who have risen
(00:21):
from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose. Join us as
we break the silence, uplift one another, and emerge stronger together.
New episodes air Wednesdays at six pm English and Saturdays
at six pm, with select Saturdays in Creole for our
Haitian audience.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hey everyone, welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
It's one of those days and one of those weeks,
but we add thankful for everything that we have come
away from. Many of you have gone through all graduations,
those from kindergarten, if you haven't.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
That young, middle school, high school, college, This.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Has been the season of graduations, and yes they have graduated.
So Emerging of Power is just the same, another level
that you have come away from, and now you can
look back on and you can talk and you can
share about it. And as you share about it, many
others who are not yet where you are. Day two
can say one day I can speak like her and
(01:25):
I can be as bold and truly move into my
next into my expansion, into my new dimension.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
But the first step, of course, is to heal.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
So welcome back to Emerging and Power with your host,
Doctor Lynn j As you know it, and you already
know what I'm gonna say, go ahead and subscribe, like
and share now whatever platform you're in, go ahead with
our YouTube channel and share from there so we can
grow our YouTube audience. Now, this podcast is also on
(02:00):
Apple and all other audio.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Platforms, So do go show yourself.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Hey, doctor Lynn, I'm hearing you right now on Apple,
I'm hearing you right now on the many different platforms,
or I'm watching you on rocal TV with CTR Media.
So wherever you're connected from, let's get some feedback. Wherever
you are, whether you're around, wherever you are around the world.
Connect because we have people from Australia that's been guests
(02:27):
Ghana all over the world, and we're looking for guests
wherever you are. Because of this virtual capacity, we can
connect and continue sharing those stories.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Today is like no other.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
We have a guest that will be coming on and
sharing her own emergence, what she has emerged from what
she has turned into healing. Healing is a beautiful thing.
Why not embrace healing? The question is why not? Why
would you want to hold on to all that hurt
and all that pain and wallow alone.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
No, it's time to heal for real. Stay tuned. We'll
be bringing our guests on right after this break.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Remember when coffee was just coffee, a routine sip, part
of the two billion cups consumed daily, enough to fill
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just promise to be amazing? What if it actually was
Introducing a live coffee the first coffee that tastes as
good as it makes you feel. Meet the coffee that
thinks beyond the cup. Bold, smooth, alive, made from expertly roasted,
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shockingly delicious. Stop drinking may start drinking alive, the coffee
that delivers just like the ninety percent who won't start
their day without it. A live coffee wake up take over,
feel alive, all right So.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Alisha Hurt is a dynamic nonprofit founder, minister, international speaker,
best selling author, and a certified Christian educator specializing in
leadership management and a wellness advocacy. Her life's mission centers
on empowering women and families through alistic healing, spiritual development,
and community centered support. Alicia's voice is both powerful and compassionate,
(04:37):
resonating with those seeking guidance, restoration, and purpose in every
season of life. As the executive director of I See
My Baby, Inc, Alisa leads with authensity and purpose. Inspired
by her own journey through infertility and personal loss, she
has built a platform that not only offers support, but
(04:59):
cultiv make transformation. Her organization provides education, resources, and safe
spaces for women to address emotional, spiritual, and physical healing
through faith based practices, herbal wellness, and sisterhood. In addition
to her leadership and ministry work, a Lisha is a
passionate advocate for women's wellness and generational legacy. Through workshops,
(05:25):
speaking engagement, and her published works, she educates families on
natural healing faith identity and intentional parenting. Alicia's impact grows
and strength and voice. Hey everyone, let us welcome Alisha
(05:46):
to the set on today.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
You heard a lot. As you can tell.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
This is a woman that wears many hats, but her
story starts somewhere and that is how come she's turned
up being into purpose. And you know we church folk
turn her tests into test deemony who don't like a
good testimony shout from the back.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Let's hear it.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Because we have the minister, all right, I can actually
get radical of being myself on this one on the set.
She will take us through her journey.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Lisa.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to Emerging Empower.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
I'm so glad to.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
Have you here.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
We just hit it off on the phone and.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I just love, love, love the vibe and meeting a
fellow's sister in Christ.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Welcome. Introduce yourself outside of that bio.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Amen.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
Well, I am Alicia Hurt. I'm a wife of nineteen
years it's November, a mother of four of which I'm
told I could not have, and I'm a sermon leader
and everything that I do.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Love it, love it, love it. I mean we started talking.
We went from a to Z before I know it.
We was on every topic you can think of. But
that's what happen when you find people with like mindedness,
who think alike and you connected. It's like you've already
known this person for a very long time, yet you've
just met them in that moment and just in a
phone call. Now we're finally putting a face to the voice.
(07:14):
And again, welcome, Welcome, Welcome. We're gonna dive right into
your story. And you heard it in the bio. Her
journey was you infertility and Alicia, let's just take everyone
to your journey.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
What is that like?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
We're gonna give a good testimony, so you know how
to build up that testimony. So let's just get right
into your story.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Absolutely, thank you so much for the opportunity. I don't
take lightly being on your platform. So thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
So I was born and rady yeah yeah, So I'm
up Trinidadian West Indian background. My parents came here with
my grandparents and then came Alicia.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Right.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
So I'm one of three children for my mother and
four for my dad, and so we came from humble
beginnings in Landover, Maryland, got married young, right, out of
high school to my husband and we went ten years.
I went to school, I was ordained, I was working
in a church. I was on everything that you're supposed
(08:18):
to do, right, but that one thing that I wanted
and I desired.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
You know that old song nursery rhyme is first come.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
Love didn't come, married, didn't come to baby, baby, Well,
the baby didn't come. It didn't come. And so my
husband he was fine, he was consent because his desire
really wasn't to have children, but it was my I
came from a family and you know in the West Indies,
his family togetherness, and I'm like, well I don't have
that in my household. So it definitely showed on my
(08:48):
professional aspect of being a manager and a leader.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
You know, everything was black and white. It was just
you know, this is it.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
And one day I did confide in one of my
coworkers and they suggested MV I was like, I went
through all the testing, what is it.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
So we went through in vitrol, we went through three rounds,
we got pregnant.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
The first time it was unsuccessful, and then the same
for each other's cycle.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
And so with insurance, you.
Speaker 6 (09:12):
Have to either go to another insurance company or you
would have to pay out of pocket. And so when
I went back to my husband, I'm like, well, what
are we going to do? And he was like, well,
we're not going through this process again. He said, you know,
you were really.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Hurt, and I was.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
And it took us, our couple, our relationship through a
lot of turmoil with the ups and downs of the pregnancy,
the hormone. I remember one time driving down the street
and just hearing the enemy saying, if you can't do
that one thing, just open the door. And it ended
your life, you know, And I just thank God that
I didn't, thank God that I didn't, and I continue
(09:48):
to just push through.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
But it was it was must to see faith.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I'll tell you that I definitely had some highs and
loads with my mental stability and my face.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
I was upset.
Speaker 6 (09:59):
I was mad at God. I wasn't talking to him.
I felt like he forgot me. I felt like I
was alone even though I had my family around me.
And so you could just imagine how that is. Like
I'm managing big organizations, like I'm in the church, I'm supporting,
like I have these degrees. Why can't I be a mother?
Why can't I have a baby in my wounds? Well,
(10:20):
lo and behold. I went back to the doctor. I
was like, look, what else can I do? This said
without your husband's consent. Unfortunately, we can't go another round.
And he did send me for a procedure to open
up my lining a little more because he said the
opening was very tiny.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Maybe that could help.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
I went back to him again and he's like, mishurt.
I mean because I'm very persistent, that's just me. And
he was like, miss Hurt, your husband has to say okay.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
He didn't. We even discussed adoption.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
That just wasn't in our journey, and so we went
on with life.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Well, lo and behold.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
God gave a message to my husband and he said,
you know, God told me we are going to have
a child, and that we were living in Baltimore, Maryland,
and so he said, we need to move closer to
your parents, back to PG County. And so I said, well, listen,
if God's talking to you, because he's not talking to me,
I guess that's what we'll do. So we did move back.
We moved back and we were in my parents' basement.
(11:13):
We sold our house and but the way we sold it.
It was subject too, so we couldn't buy another one
at the time. Well, we're in my parents' basement. We're
living life and I'll continue with my medical.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Health and going to the doctor.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
And so my doctor said they saw something on my
ovary and they needed to do a procedure, and so.
Speaker 5 (11:30):
I said, okay, no problem.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
They said you need to have a pregnancy test done
before we could do the procedure. So I did that
and I got the call and the doctor said hey.
The staff brother said hey, and it's hurt. We got
your results, but you cannot have the procedure. And so
I said, well why and they said you're pregnant. And
so I was like, what say that again?
Speaker 5 (11:51):
We're like ah, And so I called my husband and.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
He was like already knew. He was like the Lord
already told me. I said, so, see this thing with
you and the Lord, right, how do you keep telling you?
Speaker 5 (12:01):
And he ain't talking to me? And so to me, why.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Can't tell me, like come on, I'm like the one
going to church more and do it.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
But that also speaks to your relationship with.
Speaker 6 (12:17):
God being beyond the going to church, the act the service,
like you have to have an instimate relationship with him,
no matter what. And so we had our baby girl.
But in that she was born not breathing. The cord
was wrapping around her neck multiple times, she was limped literally,
and we had a birth plan and everything, and I
(12:38):
told my husband go over to our baby girl, and
they were pumping on her chest, pumping, and I felt
like all over again.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Like come on God. So I went through all this
to have her.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
We have her. Then she's born not breathing, like come on, Lord, like,
I know this is not our life. I know this
is not our journey. So she stayed in the nick
you we went home with out heard that feeling. I
remember just taking a shower, just solving, just solving, and
they let me stay longer. They were like, okay, your
insurance of paper one more day. And I'm hoping in praying.
(13:11):
I mean, I'm getting up and I'm going back and
forth with my baby. I'm trying to breastfeed, you know,
just the determinent that to go home with my baby.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
We did not.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
And I remember being in that shower just letting that
water beat on me, and I was just like.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
What did I do? God? Forgive me? What is it?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Why?
Speaker 6 (13:27):
Why am I going do this? It was just a
really lonely place. But thank God, she came home. She
came home with us. She did have jaundice and things
like that, but she worked through it. Her first several years.
We were back and forth, you know, at the emergency room.
But God is so good and my mom, she truly.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Covered us with her prayers. She was there, Lord, she
was there.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
And we ended up having baby number two and Maurice,
and we ended up having baby number three, Aufrey Delores.
And I just remembered, everybody keep prophingsund about the boy.
So every child we thought would be a boy, every
child we thought would be a boy, we didn't get
a boy. But I did ask God for four kids.
And my husband's like, you need to stop asking for stuff, right, he's.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
The one who said he heard God. Now you can't
put it in your request.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
So I remember one year during we call it All
Year's Night but New Year's Eve service, and the pastor
gave us all prayer cards and he said that if
you write your prayer, you're specific in it, you're faithful,
you really trust God in it, he.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Will you will see it come into past.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
And so I wrote there, a house big enough for
my family, a job to help provide for my family.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
And I said my baby boy Darryl Junior.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
And my husband kind of peeked over as I was writing,
and he was like shaking his head, like you know,
and I was like, mind you.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Be, you know, And so I put it in my Bible.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
And every so often you go back and you look
at it, and then you start to check things off.
So we got the house, thank you Jesus. All right,
we got the job.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
Thank you Jesus.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
All right, the baby all right, put it back in
your Bible, and you're going with life. And so we
ended up getting pregnant, and I was like, oh my god,
this is probably the baby boy. Like I asked before,
like this is a baby boy. Well around six.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Weeks I ended up having a missed courage.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
It took me all the way back to not even
having kids like that, feeling my head everything detro that
didn't it just it just knocked me back.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
And yes, yes, and I mean my mom, everybody's around me,
but you just feel lonely, like, oh my god. And
so I had to do my work. I was able
to have a.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Therapist even through all my pregnancies I went through like
Postparliament things, and so I just went back into therapy
do what.
Speaker 5 (15:48):
I needed to do. I started journaling, and lo and behold.
Speaker 6 (15:51):
During that time, my mom was diagnosed with four stage
lung cancer just right there.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
She was a nurse by trade, and it was like what,
like how did they miss it? Like this is righty?
And then I got pregnant.
Speaker 6 (16:05):
So all this is just going on, I mean, and
it was wearing on me physically mentally.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
At one point I was walking with a cane. That's
how much it was just all on me.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
But thank god we had my son. At thirty seven
weeks we did a cesarean. I have my two blagated.
I said, thank you Jesus.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
This is when and we got the boy. We have
the completeness. And so beyond me going through this and
being able.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
To come out victorious and say thank you Jesus, I
also needed to give back, and so I wrote.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
A book called I See My Baby, and in that.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
I'm talking through literally raw and transparently my journey navigating
and then inspiring women to say, you are not alone.
You may think that this is something you only feel,
that thought of doing things that you say, oh, I
can't speak this out.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
You're not the only one feeling that way.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
And so I vowed in that book to give back,
but I didn't know that God wanted me to take
it a step further and then.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Birth my book here says I see my baby. So
this is the book here that Alisa has give back.
And so where can they find this book?
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Amazon?
Speaker 6 (17:23):
Also on our website, and I see my baby dot
o work slash shop, all.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Right, everybody hear her and colors and everything like that.
So she's brought it back here. It's nice. You can't
miss it, nice pink cover with a mom and her baby,
so you can't miss it if you're looking for the cover,
(17:50):
all right. And this is her way of giving back,
all right, this is the give back. We must understand
why people go through day do and this is all why.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
So yo, why was I see my baby? All right?
And the journey even though you went through it real quickly.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
And you told us it wasn't that quick because you
said you guys were married for ten years, all right,
and hopeful nothing happened. So the excitement, say this has happened.
When you're healed and restored, she could brush you laugh.
But at those times, you know you was in church
and you're seeing people being delivered. You've seen a lot
of things happening as a minister of the gospel, doing
(18:33):
what you can for the kingdom, but yet you're not
getting your answer. That is the place I would like
to stay for a little bit, because there's.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
A lot of people that are watching.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Right now who it might not be a baby, but
it is something that you're waiting for, which is like
a baby. You're waiting to give birth to this thing,
all right, And it seems like you've probably given a
lot of stillborns or you know, you've.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Got a lot of missus.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
So let's speak to that emotion as you are in ministry, hurting, wanting,
all right, and it hasn't happened yet because I heard
you see a few times. Why I've done everything I've
done here, I'm in church, I'm doing this, I'm doing this.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Why why why why, let's talk about that for a moment.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
Well, when I.
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Look back at my journey, I thank God that there
was a delay, because one I was married early. I
was twenty one, my husband was twenty three, and we
had some maturing and growing up to be as a
married couple, and to me, it's not fair and I
see it. I see it in my line of work,
(19:47):
children being born into situations that it's not.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Fair to them. They didn't ask for that.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
And so he prepared my husband and I to make
sure that we were silent and even after having kid,
we winter things because marriage is a journey, like they're
ups and downs and stagnations and hiccups and things of
that sort. But I know that that was one of
the reasons that God delayed me. The other part is
I am the type of person.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
I'm of Caribbean descent. We are very we have prayed right,
we make sure you know all.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
So God wanted to make sure that he.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Got the glory. Yea had nothing to do with Felicia
with dryl Yes.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
You know, scientists and doctors say, well, do you know
about the birds and of Greece.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
We get that. But if God don't say yes, there's
no connection. That it's not happening.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
There's no baby that I even went to scientific route
within vitro, and he wanted to show me that it's
in his time, that is in his divine time.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
And then because I.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Did this, this happened. God don't share his glory.
Speaker 6 (20:59):
At all at all. And I remember my one of
my first jobs that in the bank.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
I was looking around and I was seeing people of
different age background.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
And I was like, this can't be it, like this
is great being a teller. But and I would ask
them how long you been here?
Speaker 5 (21:16):
Just thurd vying and researching because I didn't want to
go to school. It just was just too much.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
And I remember asking, well, I don't want my purpose.
And someone gave me a book called The Purpose Driven Life.
I read that book, but that wasn't my purpose, right,
that wasn't But what was it?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
What was in me was trying to come out.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
And so that was a way for God to kind
of open that door for me and end that.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
I started going to school. I started.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
I went to secular school. Then I went through the
seminary and I started to walk the path.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
That God wanted me to walk.
Speaker 6 (21:47):
But had I gotten what I wanted, which is a baby,
right then and there, I don't know, it wouldn't have happened.
I see my baby book wouldn't be here me now
at forty one years old, saying that I'm just gonna
listen to what God is saying, and release everything, all
my worldly treasures. That's another segment and literally hits so
low that it's like.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Really, Lord, really God. But again he needs the.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
Glory and he wants to change someone else's life through
what I'm going through. And I'm like, okay, God, I'll
be that backsuit. But I wouldn't have been that if
i'd have had my kids, because I'd have been about
my business.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Right.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
But when we're going through though, we're not understanding that.
We let's say we get selfish, right, it's about us,
it's note about you God. This is what I want God,
and this is what I want you to do. And
I you even given God ultimatums. Okay, if you don't
do this by then you know all of these things.
(22:44):
But then we talk about even in the prayer that
we have that says our Father and Mother and ever.
You know, what's the question, Thine will be done, not
my will be done. So we always want to be
on my This is what I want, how I want it.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
You know this is the time, ten years, this.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Is the goal.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
It was not prophetic. He didn't reveal ten years to you.
You just want to make it happen. So of course
he's gonna be looking. You're like, okay, all right, go
on with your bad self. Let's see you do it.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
That's right, God, I'm.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Just let's see you do it, all right. And so
you do, and you try and you try.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Again, and they're telling you there is no rate because
I said, we're.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Putting God in science.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Now, scientifically, there is no reason why this should not
happen because we have done everything scientifically possible.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, who's the great scientists.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
The great physic he is?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Who is the great who is the great in designer?
Who is the architect?
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
And so what people don't understand is we don't like it,
but we have to go through. And the reason why
you went through, and I say it because for you.
In my case, God give me the kids first. I
had everything up front. That's the way he figured. That's
(24:25):
how it worked for me. That would build me, mature me.
Like Moses had to go in the desert, he had
to do the forty years.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
He had to go through all of that before he
could lead the people. Everybody's journey is different, right, So
I did all of the king that I was still doing.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
The kingdom were working alongside the husband, but fully doing
kingdom was after the kids. Why because I needed to
go through all of that. Matural grow understand that children.
So there's a reverse. There's folk here. How can you
blessed so and so and I ain't got mine yet?
You're not in their season. Yeah, okay, we all have
(25:06):
different seasons, and we have to stop being jealous of
what is happening over there. It's not yet your time,
and then we want to push or force God's hand.
You know, well, God, I'm tired of waiting. I'm just
gonna go and do this. So as a result, you
understand later. See when you going through, you don't want
(25:30):
to hear nothing. You don't want to hear that. And
the worst thing, as Christians say, is we don't want
I don't know about you, but when I'm going to
don't no cliche, don't tell me, Come on, like I no,
I already know that. Don't tell me that word. Don't
tell me. Don't tell me because I read don't it
(25:52):
no cliche? Because why we're in ahead we want things
certain way, and it's like I know God can do it.
I know God's time, but this is the time I want.
We're saying all this right, it's you. You're saying all
this to yourself. So you go ten years, right, when
(26:14):
did it click? Maybe the first year or two was okay,
because you know, you guys are still young.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Y'all.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Wasn't in a hurry. What part of the marriage that
you really felt like now is time? Unless you was
that woman who like, it's gonna happen this first year?
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Well, it was the pressure around me, honestly, and the
questions everybody.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
They're saying, well, when are you going? And I honestly
thought it with my husband, I was.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
Like, is he you went wrong?
Speaker 5 (26:40):
With me? I don't know what's going on. And then
when we went through the vita and they was like, no,
you good, I was like.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Like like come on, and so now I can't be
pointing a finger.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
It's like all right, now you got to touch within.
What is it? What's going on? Why? You know? And
then I was like I'm broken. And then I was like, well,
is he gonna leave me? Well, well wait a minute,
you know.
Speaker 6 (27:06):
And then and then the intimu re card, Well, what's
the point if I said, you know, I went through
a lot, went through a lot.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
One of the biggest things of women's fear is if
you do not have a child, will he stay?
Speaker 6 (27:21):
I mean it was many, many a times where I
would check its I mean, being real, this is so vulnerable,
but I would check its prom you know, his activities
and things just insecurity.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Started to really said it and.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
I'm like, because I can't have this. And honestly, my
husband could care less if we had kids.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
So it was me. It was just something a story
that I was just making up in my mind. And
I was also putting stress on myself that.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
I didn't need to put on myself because I wanted
this one thing.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
And then I yearned to be a mother.
Speaker 6 (27:53):
I would start to dream about my babies, right, I
would start to look and take look, how would my
belly love? And you know, I had friends around me
also that got pregnant.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Just like that. Once one young lady went to I
went to school with her first time. At least that
showed up. She ended up being pregnant her red locks.
Speaker 6 (28:11):
And then again I'm going through my sack, Lie, I
like what.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
You said about it.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
At least they told you, you know, people be telling you stuff.
Speaker 6 (28:16):
Like you know, and I'm just like, well, what what
is it, and I was the oldest for my mother,
and so my sister.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
My sister asked to me she had kids already.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
So I was just.
Speaker 6 (28:29):
Like, you know, it was just it was a lot,
it was and then for me to have to face
the fact that what if.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
You won't have kids, what does this look like? Are
you gonna be okay with that?
Speaker 6 (28:41):
And I'm an overthinker anyway, so you could just be
magining how I was working myself up and then to me,
as I look at it now, I probably when they
committed to my.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Husband, I started most of those arguments. I did.
Speaker 6 (28:56):
I started most most of the shoes, you know, because
of something within me, and he was fad.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
See, in the beginning, it was good for you to
say it was him so you didn't have to think
about yourself and yeah, he's the problem.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
It's not me.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
He's the problem. It's not me, because you're pushing that away,
like I don't want to face that, you know, I
don't want to face that. And if it's me, let
it be him for now until we figure that out.
And then once that happened, now you have to really
face you and you're thinking, you have all these thoughts.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Like what did I do? What happened? What did I
need to do? Is? What am I paying for?
Speaker 5 (29:39):
Is?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I mean my family had kids? Maybe am I the one?
Maybe that that's not going.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
To be the one up?
Speaker 3 (29:45):
So you have all these thoughts, you know, coming to you,
adding onto insecurities because now, well he could just go
out and have one with somebody and I don't even
know about it, So all these thoughts will come. I mean,
we're human. Who hasn't you know, felt those ways? Even
(30:07):
the men men feel the same way too. When the
wife can't have children, you know, it has everyone thinking
and in so thinking, sometimes people make some major mistakes
because they want to go find out and then so
finding how they end up being in a relationship, you know,
with someone they shouldn't just to go find out if
(30:29):
they really are the one with the problem. So things
can go to some great extremes when faced with such pressure.
And I believe to all the kingdom and relationships and
the community looking there when people just get married, leave
the people alone. Stop putting this pressure on people making
(30:52):
the same like you've been married for two years with
the baby, don't do that. You know, Mothers who want grandchildren,
you know, don't do that, you know, understand, Allow the
young people you know to have that piece.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
If you mentioned it once, don't mention it every time
you see them.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Then you hammer it putting these stresses in, you know,
because it can put friction in the relationship because of
the outside noise. You know, And like you said, you're
the one who wanted them. He can care less if
you didn't. But sometimes men do appear to not care,
but they really do. They just don't express it like
(31:31):
we do, you understand. So he went through that with you.
He went through those disappointments with you, when you had
those losses. He went through we as women, Like I said,
well as my body. I'm the one who went through it.
No psychologically, spiritually, these men went through it with you
the same. But at the same time, if you're broken,
(31:52):
they have to be strong.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
So it might appear.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
That they are not going to the emotions because they're
being strong for you.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
But when they're away from you, or when they're in
the bathroom, in.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
The shower, you know, I've seen I heard men who
talk where they cried. They use a moment in the
shower to shed those tears. You understand me To go
through all of that that women don't even realize that's happening.
That's why I think in relationships, people should be honest
with each other when you're hurting or hurting together, Baby,
you're not in this alone.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Share those emotions. That way, you are stronger and not
feel alone.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
You know, in this, you know, because you might have
someone with you, but then you feel lonely because you
feel like you're in it by yourself. And I'm sure
you had a lot of those I'm in this by myself.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
Moments, right, Yeah, absolutely, And I definitely leaned on my mom.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
It only took me when she got.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
Sick where I really truly started to open up more
to my husband. And I was like, you know, this journey, God,
I wouldn't have asked for it to go this way,
but I kind of understand now because really I should
have been leaning. Like in the world it tells you
like you become one, like you lean to your husband,
you leave your mom and your dad and so. But
(33:09):
in that my mom was the one that I would
always talk to. She would always have words of consolation,
and my dad too, but more so my mother. She
was my person that she got me and I was
able to really share with her, you know how I felt.
But then I still felt back of my mind like
she's given me what she's supposed to give me as
a mother, but not from understanding because she didn't lose
(33:31):
any of her.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Kids, you know. So I still was feeling alone. But
I still was able.
Speaker 6 (33:35):
To release some of it, not until I started to
do like different Facebook groups and really get into infertility.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
And talk to people.
Speaker 6 (33:44):
Like I said when I talked to my coworker, like,
oh you were doing infertility. Oh you used and because
you always think you're saen and so you're not just
going to go and say, hey, my name is Alicia
and I'm having a hard time having a baby. No.
So just me being vulnerable, I was able to find
my tribe in my village and lean on them, so
(34:05):
to speak.
Speaker 5 (34:05):
And you're completely correct.
Speaker 6 (34:07):
Men do suffer, and they suffer in silence because of that,
because it's like, Okay, you're physically going through it, then
you mentally, but they're going through it as well because
he probably was envisioning his baby, his boy, his girl,
whatever it.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
Is, becoming a father.
Speaker 6 (34:21):
So I do agree with you that we don't talk
enough about what the man goes through it will.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Right right right.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
So it was at the eleventh year or the tenth
year that you had that first.
Speaker 5 (34:37):
Yeah, the tenth year, the tenth year.
Speaker 6 (34:40):
So my baby will be ten. My baby is ten,
she's March to twelve. She gets ten and with squear
and our nine peg. So yes, right there, yes, ma'am,
there's a mask.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
I like, Hannah, you're waiting so long, and he didn't
just give you one.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
You ask them for four. You put in your requests,
you got your four.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
And that's why I tell people, be careful what you
pray for, careful what you ask for, because you just
might get God just might you. And I literally would
tell my family like I remember, and my sister law
reminds me, she said, you said to Alicia, And so
when I'm on the phone, like, oh my god, these kids,
(35:24):
she said, you always talked about being a woman in
the shoe that had so many kids you didn't know
what to do.
Speaker 5 (35:30):
You sound like her now.
Speaker 6 (35:32):
And I'm like I do, but I wouldn't change it.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
For the world. And my husband will be like, you
ask for them, I said, stop saying that I did.
I did, But it's a choice.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
It becomes It gets better as they get older, especially
children that you raise, uh and train them up according
to you know, the training's Christian training, like the Bible say,
training up a child and the way that they should
go when they grow old, they do not depart from it.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Well, you trust me, you will.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
It gets better as they get older, especially the ones
like I say, children well godly will do much better
than children who do not have any fear for God
and live in a fearless life to the point they
don't respect you. But it will get better because I
myself personally have six and my youngest just turned eighteen,
so I can say, yeah, it's a joy. It's easy.
(36:28):
My life is easy now, you know. And that's why
I do what I do, and I have time for it.
You know, I have granddaughters, but I don't have to
worry about them while you know, I'm doing this and
I'm in the studio. I don't have to worry because
I set the day aside. This is all I'm going
to do. But I have someone at home that could care,
you know, and take care of them because they're old enough.
So it does get better, all right. So you might
(36:51):
have sold in tears for the ten years. But God
has given you joy now. He expedited it. You know
you got four and under what five years?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
Oh God?
Speaker 6 (37:06):
So there are ten six now ten seven, five and two?
Speaker 5 (37:11):
Okay, okay, re stepped it all down, yes, right, right,
So there's a lot of between the first and the second.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, but he's given it all to you.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
So in all that time that you were crying and
having a sleepless nights, he give it back to you.
So you've already got it even before you doubled that time.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
And he's giving you joy now.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Of course, when they make a noise and toys and
everything everywhere, you don't feel so joyous, but it's still
an excitement.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
It means that there is a dull moment.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
It's never a dull moment when you have kids, that's right,
you know, it's never a dult right.
Speaker 6 (37:49):
And I don't know if it's getting older or what,
but I've got more calm. And my oldest is like,
I wouldn't have gotten away with that. Where are you
that to do that?
Speaker 5 (38:00):
And I'm just like it's okay.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
You know.
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Then they'll cry when.
Speaker 6 (38:04):
They fall and I I listening for a certain cry
and I'm like it's fine, So it's easier.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
You know, it's getting there. So we're going to go
right into the book here.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
So the book take us through your journey and the
experience that you had. So uh, the book is basically
laying out the foundation then for.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
What you're doing.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
Correct.
Speaker 6 (38:32):
Yes, And each chapter breaks down where I was in
my life, how I felt, and it breaks up the
principle of manifesting your child, believing in your child, calling
that child to your wound, and envisioning that.
Speaker 5 (38:47):
So envision, manifesting and believe. Those are the three.
Speaker 6 (38:50):
Principles that I talked through and how I was able
to do that and how I was.
Speaker 5 (38:56):
Able to work through it.
Speaker 6 (38:57):
I'm also talking a little bit about our relationship as
I spoke of, and how it took a toll on
us and how we were happy to walk through that
and work through some things as a couple.
Speaker 5 (39:10):
And then when I went through that last.
Speaker 6 (39:12):
Miscarriage with no intervention or anything, it just was a miscarriage,
and how I had to use.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
The same skills from day.
Speaker 6 (39:19):
One again, and how I want women to understand that
just because you say, Okay, I went through it and
I'm fine, it's just like a roller coaster. That's life,
and you may have to go back to those tools
that you used before.
Speaker 5 (39:33):
I loved journaling. We created a lot of different.
Speaker 6 (39:36):
Resources, and journaling is one that's so powerful to really
help you get those thoughts out of your head on
the paper, healed from them, and then work through what
need to work through.
Speaker 5 (39:47):
And me saying that I.
Speaker 6 (39:49):
Was angry with God, some people may say, as a minister,
you actually said that, you actually felt that that It's
okay that.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
I'm actually being human. But I'm not going to state it.
Speaker 6 (39:58):
I'm not going to get stuck in how I was
able to go out of it and navigate. And then
there are other resources in the book as well, But
I just want to have a guide that a woman
that thinks, hey, I can't say anything. I don't want
nobody to know I'm embarrassed. They picked that book up
and read it, they will feel like I'm just right
there right beside them, and I want them to take
(40:21):
comfort in knowing that you are not the only one
feeling this way. This is not out of the ordinary. This,
Do not open that car door, and just in your life,
do not take that pill, like, do not do that
because God has something on the other side of your
situation ready and waiting for you.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
And it doesn't matter. My situation came with four children,
Yours may not.
Speaker 6 (40:44):
It may be adoption, it may be surgus, it may
just be no children. Let's move forward in another way
in serving God and walking your journey, but just know
that you're not there having to navigate it by yourself.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Wow, that is a beautiful thing that you present here
on today. Because we have individuals who I believe this
is reaching out to who feel like their life is
worthless because they can't have a child, their marriage is worthless,
and whatever happens, they're going back on, Oh, it's because
I can't have a child that you did this to me.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
It's because I don't have a child, because this is happening.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
To stop sabotaging yourself, you know, stop the hurt and
just find something. You know, I said this all the time,
and sometimes people have that freedom. Use it to do
something for the kingdom. You know, go be a big sister,
big brother. Add meaning to your life. You know, when
you learn to stop putting so much weight on something,
(41:48):
when God does deliver you, you'll be like, wow, ten years amen,
have gone by, but you wouldn't realize it was ten
years because by the times that gift come, it's like
all of that time that had passed, you know, wasn't
there anymore. He brings you full joy and you was like, wow,
I see why I waited so for you. Like Alicia said,
she wasn't ready. They weren't ready. They were young, they
(42:11):
still had a lot of growing to do. And even
when they had the kids, they realized there was still
a lot that they still needed to have in place.
So use this as an opportunity to build, build a legacy,
you understand me. Build yourself financially, you know, do the things,
go on vacations, do all that you can to make
(42:32):
sure that you are healed. Because a lot of people
are going into relationships with a lot of pain, with
a lot of suffering.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You have a lot going on.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
You're not even ready for what is next because you
haven't even healed yet. Okay, so do all that is
necessary on your part and let God do the rest.
But if you busy yourself with work or kingdom, whatever
it is, find something constructive to do and before you
know it, you know, you can think about it, but
(43:01):
it wouldn't be so much because you're so busy.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
You know, I got.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Things to do. But God don't forget you know. I
know I haven't been to you lately about this. You know,
when you do have those low moments because of the situation,
pray even after healing, you still have moments in a
low Lisia told you after the third child, when they
thought they were gonna have the number four, They've lost
that child, okay, and it took a back full circle,
(43:28):
all right, So healing is continuous even though she have
these children. You know that wone was still there, and
that's also a place, Alicia. I pray that you have
worked on and have God heal you in that place,
because even though that happened and you have your kids,
you know, what the enemy can do is take you
to the place of the loss and not see what
you have versus what you have lost.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
And that's where it again can be dangerous. Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
So you're not looking at what you have, but you're
focus on what you have lost, and that could pull
you into a whole different, a whole different web.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
You know that is dangerous.
Speaker 3 (44:04):
So I pray that God brings that healing to you.
Yourself and your family. All right, So we're gonna close.
And before we close, what any closing remarks that you
would give to that mother who is waiting.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
There are women I have a prayer group.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
I have women who fifteen years in marriage that has
not you know, had a child, did the same things
that you you did.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
What would you say to that individual?
Speaker 5 (44:31):
Don't lose hope? I have it chatted on my arm.
Here there's hope. There's hope because you're still living. There's hope.
Don't don't give up. I remember a colleague of me mind.
Speaker 6 (44:43):
Saying, go and buy your baby clothes and put it
in your closet.
Speaker 5 (44:47):
Now, a secular.
Speaker 6 (44:49):
Mind would say that's crazy, that's ludacris. But I had
to envision and believe that baby. Rub your belly, call
that baby to your wound, call that baby, damn, call
that baby to your womb, and continue to manifest good
things like when my baby gets here, right, and continue
to seek God because in his timing, I'm telling you,
(45:09):
all things are possible.
Speaker 5 (45:11):
Do not give up, very hope you're still living.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
And we normally close up with prayer, but see I
got a minister on here, today. I ain't got to
wear my minister out as I close out here on today.
So Minister Alisha, go ahead and close us out in prayer.
Speaker 6 (45:31):
Absolutely so did Heavenly Father. We come to you, Lord,
we're thanking you for this divine connection.
Speaker 5 (45:38):
Lord God, Lord.
Speaker 6 (45:39):
God, this is this isn't just by chance, Lord God,
this is divinely orchestrated, Lord God. And we just ask
you to bless all those that are listening and watching,
Lord God.
Speaker 5 (45:48):
Bless the host or God, Lord God. I need those
blessings too, Lord God.
Speaker 6 (45:51):
Rain down on us. Lord God, help us. Lord God,
build us up, Lord Jesus, give us the strength. Lord God,
Lord God, allow our message to move Lord with Lord God,
so that men can see the good work or God
and then do what glorified you.
Speaker 5 (46:06):
Lord.
Speaker 6 (46:06):
Help us, Lord God, that we can continue to save
more souls for you.
Speaker 5 (46:11):
Lord God. Help that wanman.
Speaker 6 (46:12):
Help that man that is listening, Lord God, and they
feel bearing, Lord God, help them, Lord God, touch their heart.
Let them know, Lord Jesus that it is their season
or fruitfulness, Lord Jesus, Lord God. Those that are listening
that say, hey, I don't want a regular baby, I
want to burth of business I want to.
Speaker 5 (46:28):
Burth a dream. Lord God.
Speaker 6 (46:29):
Let them know that they can use these same tools,
Lord God, seeking you, Lord God, and trusting you in
your time in Lord God, help them, Lord Jesus, Lord God,
just give them some type of inkling in their heart
or in their spirit, Lord Jesus, to just take that
one step, Lord God, and have faith, Lord Jesus, Lord God,
you ask us to have it just the smallest a
(46:50):
month to see Lord God.
Speaker 5 (46:52):
Lord God, You're not asking for.
Speaker 6 (46:53):
Months, Lord Jesus, but you just need us to meet you,
their Lord God, meet you and seek you, Lord God,
seek your faith.
Speaker 5 (46:59):
Lord You, this Lord God, we just thank you. We
give you all the honor. Lord God.
Speaker 6 (47:03):
We give you all the praise that is due to
your Master, this name and Jesus name.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
We pray Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
So we want to thank each and every one of you,
and I hope this episode brought healing to you and
allow you the grace to forgive yourself and just wait
on God's timing. I know it might sound like a cliche.
We don't like to hear it when we're going through,
but waiting it is your attitude when you wait that
(47:32):
determines the outcome that you would have.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
So change your attitude.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
Okay, change your attitude as you wait, and you will see.
Because God does not divide his glory. His glory is
and is alone. And what is for his glory you
get the best.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Hannah waited and it was hard, and she bawled out.
She didn't know what to do with herself when she
went before that alter that day and she said, God,
if you give me, she was specific, if you give
me a son, I would give him back to you.
And that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
At the end.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
God was just waiting for you to come in agreement
to his will and once you do that, everything that
your desire will come. So a, Lisha, I want to
thank you for being here, and don't be as strange
as she will be back everyone for the she Mergens Conference,
all right, that we'll be taking place from August fifth
to September ninth. We're still looking for people to be
(48:25):
on the panel, so Lisa, let me. Let's release you
and thank you so much. We'll connect again on the
she Mergens Conference. Bye bye, Thank you all right everyone,
So again, as I was mentioning the she Mergons conference
that's going to be aired from August fifth to September nine.
(48:48):
We're looking for people that would come and be on
the panel as we share our stories and our emergence,
all right. And that is actually all bringing in my
book three, Book three of She Mergins, all Right, which
is called on Olliet's Table, and we'll be followed up
with the Table Restored, which will be a teaching guide.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
That you can use on your seminary.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
You can use it as a Bible study, all right,
on the Table Restored. So I want to thank you
to every one of you that I have connected here today,
and don't forget to share, Share, share, share, and subscribe, subscribe, subscribe,
for we would like for our views to grow and
build and I can't do that without you, So thank you,
(49:39):
Thank you so much for your give back by connecting
with me on the show. So until next time, Bye bye,
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