June 26, 2025 • 40 mins
The Courage to Break the Silence: Kath Essing’s Truth
In this transformative episode, we meet Kath Essing—a bold speaker, educator, and author who has dedicated her life to empowering women to break free from the weight of unspoken stories. After decades of carrying the hidden scars of childhood abuse, Kath chose to confront her past and reclaim her voice.
Her latest memoir, The Courage to Speak Your Truth, is more than a book—it’s a movement. A poetic, unfiltered journey through trauma, self-awareness, and healing, this body of work dares to reimagine the narratives surrounding childhood sexual abuse. Through workshops like Shifting the Narrative and her innovative SHIFT framework, Kath gives others the tools to transition from silence to courageous expression.
With over 15 years of experience and qualifications in coaching, mindfulness, NLP, and psychotherapy, Kath cultivates powerful spaces for honest dialogue, healing, and connection. Her story is not only a testimony of resilience but a call to action: What if the words trapped inside you are the mystical keys to your liberation?
Whether you are a survivor, supporter, or seeker of truth—this episode will stir your soul and remind you that your voice matters.
Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of childhood sexual abuse and trauma, which may be triggering for some listeners. Please care for your emotional safety while listening.
📧 Connect with us:
emergeandempower@gmail.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/emerge-empower-podcast-tv--6068978/support.
🎙 Emerge & Empower Podcast TV – Hosted by Dr. Linda Joseph
📺 Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@EmergeandEmpowerTV
🌐 Website: www.emergeandempowertv.com
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/dr.lindajoseph
💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drlindajoseph
📧 Guest inquiries & speaking requests: shemergenceinfo@gmail.com
⚠️Disclaimer: Viewer and listener discretion is advised. Content may include sensitive topics. Guest views are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Dr. Linda Joseph, Shemergence, or Emerge & Empower Media.
In this transformative episode, we meet Kath Essing—a bold speaker, educator, and author who has dedicated her life to empowering women to break free from the weight of unspoken stories. After decades of carrying the hidden scars of childhood abuse, Kath chose to confront her past and reclaim her voice.
Her latest memoir, The Courage to Speak Your Truth, is more than a book—it’s a movement. A poetic, unfiltered journey through trauma, self-awareness, and healing, this body of work dares to reimagine the narratives surrounding childhood sexual abuse. Through workshops like Shifting the Narrative and her innovative SHIFT framework, Kath gives others the tools to transition from silence to courageous expression.
With over 15 years of experience and qualifications in coaching, mindfulness, NLP, and psychotherapy, Kath cultivates powerful spaces for honest dialogue, healing, and connection. Her story is not only a testimony of resilience but a call to action: What if the words trapped inside you are the mystical keys to your liberation?
Whether you are a survivor, supporter, or seeker of truth—this episode will stir your soul and remind you that your voice matters.
Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of childhood sexual abuse and trauma, which may be triggering for some listeners. Please care for your emotional safety while listening.
📧 Connect with us:
emergeandempower@gmail.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/emerge-empower-podcast-tv--6068978/support.
🎙 Emerge & Empower Podcast TV – Hosted by Dr. Linda Joseph
📺 Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@EmergeandEmpowerTV
🌐 Website: www.emergeandempowertv.com
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/dr.lindajoseph
💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drlindajoseph
📧 Guest inquiries & speaking requests: shemergenceinfo@gmail.com
⚠️Disclaimer: Viewer and listener discretion is advised. Content may include sensitive topics. Guest views are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Dr. Linda Joseph, Shemergence, or Emerge & Empower Media.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Transformation. Here we amplify voices that have faced trials, trauma,
and adversity, stories that inspire hope, healing and empowerment. Every
episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with individuals who have risen
from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose. Join us as
(00:20):
we break the silence, uplift one another, and emerge stronger together.
New episodes air Wednesdays at six pm English and Saturdays
at six pm, with select Saturdays in Creole for our
Haitian audience. Welcome to Emerge and Empower podcast TV, a
(00:43):
platform where resilience meets transformation. Here we amplify voices that
have faced trials, trauma, and adversity, stories that inspire hope,
healing and empowerment. Every episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with
individuals who have risen from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose.
(01:05):
Join us as we break the silence, uplift one another,
and emerge stronger together. New episodes air Wednesdays at six
pm English and Saturdays at six pm, with select Saturdays
in Creole for our Haitian audience.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Read for one you have but one.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
To make sense because it's a show and sea wine
there will be read there after. I was trying to
surprise it up but any but it didn't.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Make sense to all the ship basically talk about once
I got there about but I still went arrival was
not a single red story.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
It was not a first strum story.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
It was a sile that kept going and I had
to wake up her. So I live to tell the story.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Because I couldn't be like the women that are cycle.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
You see people that are out there for or whatever,
you don't know their story. No little girl got up.
I just said, okay, I want to people.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I want to do the industry. I want to sell
for money waves of one thing it is makes to me.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
We don't have that process.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Things so end up happening.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
So I'm a Christian for the whole love be giving
these people. So something happened.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Sometimes I'm watching a lot of asking movie the young lady,
that's all the wo to be able to help a fadle.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
That was the route that she could take right to
these journeys. My hard.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
I was suicidal until I was twenty eight years old,
and that's when I forgive myself everybody here how to
want to live.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It's what I say how the one to be well?
But let's basically need the journey. I'm growing now. I
try to repeat it the purpose and I.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Created new on.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
And get together and excuse to move the front and
excused to grow up and exposed to do get up.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
That's why journeys like I need to posili.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Event coming out here to meet here for funny. So
I'd thank you too, because it's because everybody just wanted
to my promotion for the evil that made us mess
you up on as one.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Give it for a moment.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I made it their change.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
We did. We back here on the set of Emergent
and Empower and as you know, we come on every
week where we have individuals that come on and share
their emergent story and the stories have been relatable. A
lot have found it to be impactful and also brought
change into their own lives and everyday activity on how
(04:36):
to live and how to go about. There have been
many testimonies from individuals who have watched it and decided,
you know what, I too have a story to tell.
I like when you go back and you've watched it
and you said, I saw it. I love the atmosphere.
I loved the warmth, and I feel free to come
on and share my story without being judged, without being criticized,
(04:59):
And it is a great platform for you to come
on here and a place for your voice. So on
today today is like no other, like no other story
that we had before. Because everyone is unique. It might
be similar, but to each persons individual healing also takes time.
For one person it might have been three years. For
(05:20):
another person, that's been a year's a year's journey. For
some it's been a lifetime. It's been half of their
life just trying to get a whole of their lives.
So on today I have a special guest, none other
than Cat that will be coming on to be sharing
her story and her emergence, and she is across the world.
That's to show you how the reach is. We are
(05:43):
reaching and making an impact worldwide. Right today we have
Cat essing. She is a courageous advocate for women who
have faced silence in their lives, particularly those affected by
(06:05):
triala tramer. Her journey, marked by resilience and transformative power
of sharing one's truth, is a testament to her credibility
and connection with the audience. Kate reveals that true strength
lies and embracing one's authentic self. After decades of grappling
with the hidden scars of child abuse, she confronted with
(06:29):
her greatest fair.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
With sharing her story.
Speaker 6 (06:32):
Her memoir, The Courage to Speak Your Truth, invite readers
into her intimate world, unveiling the complexities of her experiences,
the emotional toll of survival, and empowering journey of recovery.
While Kate recognizes that seeking justice isn't always straightforward, her
(06:55):
journey extends beyond that pursuit. It's about breaking the silent
that has long suffocated her and countless other women. Through
her writing, Kate seeks to uplift women and spark conversations
that reshape narratives around trauma. She believes that one can
(07:21):
foster healing and connection by courageously dismantling the cycles of
silence and pain. Silence and pain. So everyone, let us
welcome Kate to the said, Kate welcome. It's an empower
(07:41):
on today.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
How are you doing?
Speaker 5 (07:43):
I'm great? Thank you? How are you?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I am well? And I want people to be aware.
Speaker 6 (07:48):
The time zone difference is a real it's real. So
she's across the world halfway. We're in the evening and
she is pretty much in the mid more part of
her day and we truly thank you for coming here
and greasing this platform with your story on today, which
shows you are indeed a woman of resilience. And I
(08:11):
applaud you on today because it took a lot just
busy on this platform to come and share your story.
Go ahead and introduce yourself to our audience, let them
know where you're connected from, and let your friends and
family know that you're an emerge and empower today.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Well, thank you for having me. I'm Cath Singh and
I'm from the bottom of Australia at the beginning of
the Great Ocean Road at Bell Stage and I can
hear my puppy and my son getting ready for school
in the background, so it's very early here. And as
she said, I'm an author and a speaker and an
(08:51):
educator and I'm really grateful to be here to share
my story and hope that that helps bridge the gap
for somebody else's story to be heard.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Indeed, that is the whole purpose of emerging and powers
for individuals to come on and share their story to
indeed bridge the gap, to bring hope to the hopeless. Okay,
to motivate someone who's feeling like, you know what, I
don't think I can get out of this. But when
you hear the individual stories, you find that, first of all,
you're not alone in what you're going through.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So don't put yourself in a box.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
Don't just move away or cower away or shy away,
or whatever it is you're doing right now. I want
you to understand you're not the only one that is
experiencing this, and this is happening all around the world.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We're going worldwide.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
It is happening on your block, It is happening to
a friend that you know who probably don't know what
you're going through. And day two are going through because
people learn. We live in a time where we love
to put on front right appearances as those things are well,
but they are not because there's a lot of inner
healing that needs to take Please, So at this time, Kate,
(10:06):
we would like for you to just go right into
your story.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Cap you know, from Muhammad, I said, Kate, Cat, I'm
sorry about that.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Let's first come on in.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Here and just let's get right into your story. Okay,
let's get into where did you realize it was time
for a change, and you will take us back through
your personal story.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Well, I was in my early twenties and I remembered
childhood sexual abuse by a family member. And it took
another ten years really to calibrate the story and to
make sense of it. And so I was it was
the beginning of COVID here in Australia, and I decided
that enough was enough and that was the time to
(10:49):
go to police and talk about what had happened to me.
So I had sat in that story for a long
time in silence, not because I didn't feel I had
people to tell, but I just wanted to protect those
around me from the pain that I was feeling and
the shame that I was feeling. So for a long
time I held on to that. And then it was
(11:10):
time to be honest. And what I thought was protecting
other people was really creating a wall between us. So
once I was able to kind of share my internal
world honestly and with courage to others, then I was
able to really connect in a way that I hadn't
been able to before.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Wow. Wow, that's tremendous. So take us to your journey.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
So I was five years old and was abused the
first time it was my birthday party, and I blocked
that memory out instantly. And two other incidents happened, one
when I was eight, one when I was eleven. And
it wasn't until I was in my early twenties that
depression sat in. And I was a happy kid. I
(11:59):
was an athlete, I had a lot of friends. There
weren't any signs and anything untoward had occurred. And when
I was in my twenties, I couldn't make sense of
the feeling that I had in my body. So it
was my body kind of knocking. My mind had blocked
it out entirely, and once the feeling started to get
too much, then I sought help. And once I remembered,
(12:23):
I then had to make sense of what that meant
for this happy identity that I'd created and this happy,
go lucky person. It wasn't until I started then exploring
my own healing and I understood how prevalent it was.
And I think that that's the shame of it, is
that one in three girls and one in five boys
worldwide will be impacted by this issue before the age
(12:44):
of eighteen, and we're not talking about it, and we're
not talking about the fact that ninety percent of us
know our perpetrator and fifty percent of us are related
to our perpetrator.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
Yes, yes, wow, five years old your birthday, which is
supposed to be a special day. Of course, we don't
forget special birthdays, whether we had a celebration or not.
If something has happened around your birthday, definitely, it is
(13:16):
a memory that you cannot erase, even if you want
to subconsciously lock it away. And all of that triggers happen. Right,
So you're five years old when this first happened to you,
which is supposed to be a time of joy, a
time to let a little girl just be a princess,
you know, continue dreaming, and now your world has been shifted.
(13:39):
Your world just became a nightmare when it should be
a celebration.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Wow. Yeah, And I didn't. I had blocked it entirely.
So there were feelings that came up every year around
my birthday that I couldn't make sense of. And you know,
I love parties, so I love celebrating, and I love
people and getting together. So I always had this little
part of me that I was fighting against. And I
guess that there was a part of me that was
(14:07):
looking for danger. And so then for a long time
I had to unmap what feeling happy and loved and
connected really meant because I was always looking for fear
alongside it, because that's the way my brain had been
mapped to experience it.
Speaker 7 (14:22):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Wow Wow. And then so the next incident, you said
you were seven.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Or eight, I was eight years old, the same perpetrator,
And again it was at a family function, and then
again at eleven, and look beyond as the details of
what happened to me, I think the part of the
story that I really want people to understand is that
this happened right under my parents' notse that my mom
(14:48):
and dad were beautiful people, my family, extended families are great,
And this is what happens over and over again, is
that the perpetrators prey on the shame of the incidents.
So that's like lence manifests itself. And I didn't have
language to make sense of what was happening to me,
and so I guess I sheltered it until I was
(15:10):
an adult and I could find the language, and I
could find the strength to heal and to talk about
what had happened. But as I said. Even then, it
took another twenty three years to go to police, and
often people ask me why, and I believe it wasn't
because I wasn't believed. It wasn't because I didn't think
that I would get support. It was because I wanted
(15:32):
to protect people around me. I wanted to save them
from feeling the same amount of hurt that I was experiencing.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right right, That's what tends to happen when you're a child.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
You feel like not speaking is saving or trying to
keep family friends together. You don't bland to be the
reason why, you know, the friendship or anything changes, so
therefore you feel like, you know what, let me be
the person to not say anything. But that's what the
innocence mine is thinking. But in reality, it's continuing and
(16:08):
opening a room for the perpetrator to continue the abuse.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay because once it happened.
Speaker 6 (16:13):
Once, now they feel like you didn't say anything before,
so I can come back, I can bring this again
and again.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
And sometimes the perpetrator end up living in the home.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
As well, which is even more dangerous because they're there
not and day they totally have your parents trusts.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Okay, go away, I'm going out. So and so's with you.
You can babysit, you can do this, you can do that.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
So the silence is actually very dangerous because not only
is it dangerous for the child, but it's also dangerous
for other children, even family members.
Speaker 7 (17:21):
He jumped off, Okay, let's try to scamper.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Ty called me girls and interrupted my recording. Oh oh
my goodness. All right, let's see if I could come
back in. Oh my god, I don't even remember what
I said. I usually say family, don't call, I'm recording,
but today I totally forgot.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
That's why I like recording. Is I could go back
and I can you know, cut ahead?
Speaker 3 (18:14):
All right?
Speaker 6 (18:14):
Yeah, yeah, anyway, so we're going to continue as far
as you know, the child and bringing people into the
home and the damage.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
That it costs with the silence costs.
Speaker 6 (18:23):
The silence costs a lot of damage, right, not only
for the child but for family members, but so a
lot of times they can even hurt the whole entire family.
So while children are thinking that they're protecting, there's a
lot of danger for their lives and also that of
your family, because if someone could do that to your child,
they can harm you as well. You understand, so we're
going to get right into it. So, finally, what gave
(18:46):
you the courage to speak your truth after so many
years of silence?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Becoming a mother and myself and I realized that I
wanted to model to my kids what courage and that
is different for everybody. I certainly don't advocate that the
path that I've taken is the path for everybody. I
believe healing is a very private journey, and however, one
(19:13):
feels that sense of wholeness is completely original to that individual.
For me, because I was speaking publicly already about empowerment
and about being one's true self, I felt like there
was always this part of me that was a little
bit inauthentic. I hadn't quite done the thing that I
(19:35):
was teaching other people to do. So once I looked
at my children and thought, I need to show them
how they can to be in control of their own narrative.
And so that was a turning point for me. And
I went to police and look, it's very complex with
historical child abuse cases, and I was told that the
(19:56):
statistics were very much against me, that it would be
very usual and challenging to get a conviction. But I
still knew that this was the only path for me.
I got to confront my abuser, I got to share
my whole story with friends and family, and I learned
a lot along the way, which is why I wrote
(20:17):
the book, because I thought, if I can minimize the
loneliness other people are feeling in this chiney, then it's
been worth it.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Wow wow wow. So in writing The Courage to Speak
Your Truth, what did you discover about yourself?
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I discovered that I'm very beautiful writer. It was like
the words you know, you're a spiritual woman. It was
like I channeled the words straight from God. It was
like just they came through me in a way that
I didn't know I could articulate. So I feel very
grateful for the fact that it's come here through a
(20:58):
higher power, I believe, and it's come for the audience,
not for me. So I've been asked if this was
a healing process, and absolutely it was. But I'd done
my healing before I wrote it, so it wasn't about
my healing. It was about and ensuring that there was
an opportunity for learning, because we all learned through each
other's stories, right, And I think that and there's allies
(21:22):
of survivors that don't understand this. So I think I've
written it for those people, for the supporters of individuals
who have endured this kind of abuse, so they can
start to understand what their loved ones are going through.
Speaker 6 (21:35):
Right right, it is so true, And I'm glad you
said that, because in order to write your story, you
definitely have to be healed to want to sit there
and write it.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
It takes time.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
For me.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
My abuse, I was six years old.
Speaker 6 (21:51):
Right by nine, I knew I wanted to write my story,
but it was meant to be a memoir to my
children after I'm gone. I felt so ashamed as a
kid growing up. Even as a teenager, I said I
would tell my truth, even though parents knew about it.
But the first incident but didn't do anything about it.
So I decided to be a memoir to my children.
I was still ashamed. I was still doing all of that,
(22:12):
but I knew I wanted to write. I wanted to
leave it as a legacy, but I didn't write it
until pretty much thirty five years later. You know, but
in order to do that, you have to confront your truth.
You have to confront your past. So as you were
journeying through this as you went to tell your truth,
a lot of this reality came in. You went through,
(22:34):
I'm sure, all of these emotions in order to express
your truth in your story.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
What was that like for you as you journeyed through?
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Liberating and terrifying? And so I think, you know, a
combination of everything, Like some days I felt strong, some
days I felt completely inadequate, and I you know, it
was a bit like healing through an injury, and you know,
it's one step forward, three steps back. And I felt
(23:07):
like there were times, you know, when you clean out
your wardrobe and all your clothes are on the bed
and they're a mess, and you're putting them back one
by one, and you think, why did I start this process?
Like this is whom's a mess? This is why didn't
I just leave it all in the cupboard, all shoved
in like it was working for me? And so, I,
you know, that's how I felt at times. I wondered
why I started it. And now I'm very grateful that
(23:29):
my children know my story and they know that they
can talk to me about anything that they feel, and
that sometimes there's people in their lives that will make
them uncomfortable and they have to trust that instinct.
Speaker 6 (23:42):
So as you can see, it's called when silence breaks
and healing begin. Right, So for Keith and anyone that
is watching, we need to come from hiding, you know,
those lies and all of that, and really face the truth.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
The good or ugly truth.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Right.
Speaker 6 (24:00):
The Bible tells us, you know, the truth will set
you free. It might be liberating for you, but someone
else has got to deal with that, deal with what
it was that they did. They have to pay for
their sins because the Bible tells us the wages of
sin is dead. So you killed by the sword, you
die by the sword, because that's you know, we understand
that as Garma. We understand that as an ecclesiastities that
(24:21):
says what goes around comes around, so that life will
bring that full circle back. And if it's not happening
to that person, then unfortunately that children, someone in their
bloodline will deal with this.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
So that's why it's important for us to talk about it.
Speaker 6 (24:38):
I'm glad that you said that your children are aware
of it and they know because this is key for
them in their future to be aware.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Of course, why is mom even being cautious.
Speaker 6 (24:49):
Why does mom react the way that she reacts because
they understand that you had to pass history and you're
doing it from a place of love and also protection,
you understand. So I'm glad that you mentioned the fact
that your children are aware. And how were your children
when you brought this that you brought it about before
(25:09):
you wrote the book or once you.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Wrote the book.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
With both my children when they were eight, I don't
know why I felt like that was the age that
that was appropriate to talk to. I spoke to both
of them before that time about what had happened to me,
and they both understood that throughout the investigation what was happening.
They knew the day that I was confronting my USA,
So I was very open because I didn't want them
(25:34):
to construct a narrative about any of my experiences being
their fault or any of my moods impacting them. So
I was also always very honest about today's a hard
day for me because and you know, because I think
once kids are given the information, it's often the stories
they construct that are more damaging than the truth. So
they and I wanted to model that hard things can happen,
(25:57):
but we can still come out with strength and and
as long as we confront things and we're honest and
we lean in to get support as opposed to lean out.
And I think most of the issues happen with mental
health when individuals isolate themselves. And I want to do
everything I can to teach my children that leaning in
is where the power is.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Right, leaning in power.
Speaker 6 (26:20):
So we're gonna come right back, and let's go back
to a commercial break at this time, we'll be right back.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
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feel alive.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
So, Kat, we're going to go back here to how
did you handle the emotional weight of telling your story
and the justice that you probably didn't think you will get.
What was that like for you?
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Well, I guess I had to be very clear on
my own objectives because I knew that gaining justice was
going to be very slim. So I focused on what
made me happy, and that was my relationships with my
family and friends that you know, there's a saying the
Buddha says that you know, anger is like drinking poison
(28:06):
and expecting the other person to die. And I think
for me it was very much about I need to
ensure that I'm not drinking any more poison, that my
loved ones who are supporting me aren't punished by this
and impacted by this anymore than they need to be.
And so that's what the investigation did at place the
blame where it was deserved to be placed, and I
(28:28):
was able to let it go. So that there was
freedom in my day and in my heart and in
my mind.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Now, did you in the end get the justice that
you felt you needed? Was it fair? How did that outcome?
Speaker 5 (28:41):
No, there wasn't enough to proceed to trial, and you
know only temp you know, I think the detective at
the beginning said to me that only twenty three percent
of sexual assault survivors come forward, and of those twenty
three percent, only ten percent will proceed to a trial.
And because it had been you know, forty odd years
(29:03):
since my incident had occurred, there just wasn't any physical
evidence and there was a witness that wasn't willing to
make a statement. And I think that's, you know, a
common story. And so that's why I want to talk
about it, because if I had listened to that detective initially,
I wouldn't have gone through with it. Then I'd probably
still be trapped with my own story, right, And it
(29:26):
gave me an opportunity to really share it in a
way that I'd never done so before, and that was
the healing element that that.
Speaker 6 (29:34):
Is indeed important because you were able to share it,
it was public and the person the perpetrator, even though
they didn't have enough evidence, but they had to realize
that this truth was told. It is no longer a secret,
you understand. So a lot of people are watching this
person and now there's a lot of parents or even
(29:55):
family members who are no longer trust to have this
person around. So they did lose a lot of those
connections by you coming out, whether they had enough evidence
or not. Because now you're at peace, your story has
been told, all right, and now everyone is aware, you understand,
it's aware, and everyone has full knowledge and understanding.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Of what transpired and that you know.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
For some might not think that was a victory, but
that's a victory in itself because you were able to
tell your truth, you presented it, you made your case
all right. There was enough evidence because of the time
that lapsed, and if only there's always if that witness
who actually spoke up, that would be some you know,
something that is credible. But people tend to shy away
because they want to be removed from it. You know,
(30:41):
it's your words against mine, you know, whatever their reasons
are for not speaking, all right, But.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
In my case it was she was also a victim,
so there's no judgment on my behalf that she didn't
do that, and I understand why she hasn't, and you know,
and it's like, so that's where I think we have
to just be accepting of.
Speaker 7 (31:03):
What she.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Didn't yet deal with her.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah. And look, at the end of
the day, I the justice for me is that I've
got a fabulous life. I've got a beautiful husband and
two gorgeous children, and I can't imagine living with the
shame of perpetrating these horrible acts against the child. So
I think in you know, that's to me, that's the karma.
(31:31):
You've got to live with your own decisions, and I
am comfortable living with mine, right right.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (31:39):
So what would you say to women that are still carrying,
you know, this hidden trauma or unsure where to begin
in their healing.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
Well, I would always say that start with getting congruent
with your narrative internally. So make sure that the voice
that you're listening to is your own and your strength
and your truth, and it's not dictated by someone else's actions.
And I began by making sense of my feelings by writing.
So I always had a journal. I write a lot
(32:11):
of poetry, and it was through writing that helped me
establish my next steps, So you know, absolutely go and
speak to somebody. You know. I'm but I believe that
really getting clear on what our internal voice is telling
us is where the healing begins.
Speaker 6 (32:30):
Right, an internal voice get in the front row seat
of your life. I have through the years seen individuals
who carried it sixty seventy years, and when they finally
told their truth, it was like, why did I wait
so long?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
This is so liberating? Why did I carry this weed?
Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know?
Speaker 6 (32:51):
For some they actually waiting to tell the perpetrator was
no more before they could even voice it, because the
fear was still there. So I want to say this
and to everyone that is watching, don't tell someone who's
dealt with such trauma to tell them to get over it.
There's no such thing as getting over it. It's a scar, okay,
(33:13):
And it's a permanent car all right. It's just like
a tattoo. You can't go and undo that tattoo. That
star is, that scar is there. So getting over it
is you saying it in your word. But it takes
a lot to heal and to talk about it. And
sometimes some of the people who are saying get over
it are actually people who themselves have been victimized, but
(33:35):
that still rebuttal, I guess they don't want to talk
about it.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Leave it alone.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
I don't want to bring up, you know, old things,
but yet they're hurting, right, You're hurting and you're bleeding,
and believe it or not, your reactions to everything that
you're doing in life are stemming from, Okay, that place
of hurt.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Whether you want to receive that truth or not. Okay,
it is the way you react with people.
Speaker 6 (34:04):
The walls that you put up, everything that you do,
whatever you call your defense mechanism, is actually doing more
damage than good.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
All right, So.
Speaker 6 (34:14):
Let's go right back to your book here, and how
do you see your book and your voice reshaping women
people as they read this story of your journey here?
Speaker 5 (34:30):
Well, I wrote this to minimize the loneliness that individuals
feel in their own story and to share the challenges
that I've faced in a truthful, honest way so that
people understand. You know that it isn't healings, not a
straight line. It's not linear, and there is parts of
my story that are really heartbreaking, but it's not uncommon.
(34:55):
And that's why I wanted to talk about it, because
until we start making this conversation we're willing to have.
Then the shame will silence the people that need to
speak up and will empower those that should not have
a voice. So I'm you know, I wanted to enable
survivors to have an opportunity to feel less lowly, and
(35:16):
also allies and supporters of those survivors to have a
resource that will help them understand their loved one and
what they're going through.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (35:25):
So you're here to hear an emergent and power and
you'll be able to connect with Kate through the link
that's in the bio. Where can they find your book?
Speaker 5 (35:35):
It's on Amazon in America, so they can find it
there or Apple Books or Spotify if they want to
go and hear the audible version. It's also on Kindle,
so you know, enjoy and you reach out to me
on social media. I'm on Instagram and Facebook and my
website is www dot bespeak dot au and so we
(35:59):
can can it there.
Speaker 6 (36:01):
And for those who are there in Australia, she's local.
So if you're looking for someone for a speaking platform
and you need someone to come in or maybe just
get the book and get a reading circle of women
and just invite, you know, invite Cat over so that
you know she can continue with that journey, whether it's
(36:21):
in your church groups, wherever you are. Just what I
love about a social media you can reach people everywhere
across the world, whether they're living with family members, those
who are even homeless because of such situations.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Believe it or not, there are people who.
Speaker 6 (36:40):
Are homeless because they have to leave the home because
the perpetrator is in the home. So a lot of
homeless people are not homeless because they don't have a job,
they don't have place, but they're with family and that
pain is at home, so they have to leave home
as a safety haven, trying to get away from the
perpetrator to stop a lot of this damage and pain
(37:01):
that is happening into their lives. So I want to
thank you so much Kat for coming here on Emergent
Empower today. She will not be a stranger. She will
be a part of our next expose that will be
coming out for she Emergence Experience. If you find Kat relatable,
please reach out in boxer here, reach out to those
(37:23):
links that are in the bio n Let's continue the
healing journey.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Let us indeed heal for real. The time for healing is.
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Now everyone, Okay, the time is now. Stop putting it aside,
stop silencing it. You know that noise, even if you're quiet,
it is louder than what you share. So allow yourself
to heal. Okay, allow yourself to come about for these
said changes on today. So Kat, thank you so much
for coming on emerge and empowered today, and don't be
(37:56):
a stranger. We'll stay and connect everyone, and thank you
for joining us today and until next time.
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Kat, thank you so much, lovely to say you you too,
thank you so much, and bye bye. Okay, thank you,
bye bye, thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
All right, you can end, I will continue.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
Okay, thanks really.
Speaker 6 (38:27):
All right, everyone, So we just want to thank everyone
that was watching. Like I said, the journey for individuals
are continuous here and the reach for emergent.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
And power is global. We are global.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
We are reaching across the ocean for miles and thousands
of miles on continent to continent. So don't be a stranger.
We have Ghana, we have Canada, we have people across
the world and now we have Australia that are connecting
here because women and men are herding all around the world.
Some similar scenarios that are happening, and let us indeed
(39:03):
heal for real, everybody. That is the best thing that
we can do for ourselves is truly let go and
let this journey to healing continue.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Do you have a story?
Speaker 6 (39:13):
Tell reach out to us on Emerging and Power at
gmail dot com. Let's continue letting this platform be the
voice for you until next time.
Speaker 8 (39:26):
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Transformation. Here we amplify voices that have faced trials, trauma,
and adversity, stories that inspire hope, healing and empowerment. Every
episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with individuals who have risen
from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose. Join us as
(00:20):
we break the silence, uplift one another, and emerge stronger together.
New episodes air Wednesdays at six pm English and Saturdays
at six pm, with select Saturdays in Creole for our
Haitian audience. Welcome to Emerge and Empower podcast TV, a
(00:43):
platform where resilience meets transformation. Here we amplify voices that
have faced trials, trauma, and adversity, stories that inspire hope,
healing and empowerment. Every episode brings raw, unfiltered conversations with
individuals who have risen from hardship, embracing faith, strength and purpose.
(01:05):
Join us as we break the silence, uplift one another,
and emerge stronger together. New episodes air Wednesdays at six
pm English and Saturdays at six pm, with select Saturdays
in Creole for our Haitian audience.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Read for one you have but one.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
To make sense because it's a show and sea wine
there will be read there after. I was trying to
surprise it up but any but it didn't.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Make sense to all the ship basically talk about once
I got there about but I still went arrival was
not a single red story.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
It was not a first strum story.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
It was a sile that kept going and I had
to wake up her. So I live to tell the story.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Because I couldn't be like the women that are cycle.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
You see people that are out there for or whatever,
you don't know their story. No little girl got up.
I just said, okay, I want to people.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I want to do the industry. I want to sell
for money waves of one thing it is makes to me.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
We don't have that process.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Things so end up happening.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
So I'm a Christian for the whole love be giving
these people. So something happened.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Sometimes I'm watching a lot of asking movie the young lady,
that's all the wo to be able to help a fadle.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
That was the route that she could take right to
these journeys. My hard.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
I was suicidal until I was twenty eight years old,
and that's when I forgive myself everybody here how to
want to live.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It's what I say how the one to be well?
But let's basically need the journey. I'm growing now. I
try to repeat it the purpose and I.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Created new on.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
And get together and excuse to move the front and
excused to grow up and exposed to do get up.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
That's why journeys like I need to posili.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Event coming out here to meet here for funny. So
I'd thank you too, because it's because everybody just wanted
to my promotion for the evil that made us mess
you up on as one.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Give it for a moment.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I made it their change.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
We did. We back here on the set of Emergent
and Empower and as you know, we come on every
week where we have individuals that come on and share
their emergent story and the stories have been relatable. A
lot have found it to be impactful and also brought
change into their own lives and everyday activity on how
(04:36):
to live and how to go about. There have been
many testimonies from individuals who have watched it and decided,
you know what, I too have a story to tell.
I like when you go back and you've watched it
and you said, I saw it. I love the atmosphere.
I loved the warmth, and I feel free to come
on and share my story without being judged, without being criticized,
(04:59):
And it is a great platform for you to come
on here and a place for your voice. So on
today today is like no other, like no other story
that we had before. Because everyone is unique. It might
be similar, but to each persons individual healing also takes time.
For one person it might have been three years. For
(05:20):
another person, that's been a year's a year's journey. For
some it's been a lifetime. It's been half of their
life just trying to get a whole of their lives.
So on today I have a special guest, none other
than Cat that will be coming on to be sharing
her story and her emergence, and she is across the world.
That's to show you how the reach is. We are
(05:43):
reaching and making an impact worldwide. Right today we have
Cat essing. She is a courageous advocate for women who
have faced silence in their lives, particularly those affected by
(06:05):
triala tramer. Her journey, marked by resilience and transformative power
of sharing one's truth, is a testament to her credibility
and connection with the audience. Kate reveals that true strength
lies and embracing one's authentic self. After decades of grappling
with the hidden scars of child abuse, she confronted with
(06:29):
her greatest fair.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
With sharing her story.
Speaker 6 (06:32):
Her memoir, The Courage to Speak Your Truth, invite readers
into her intimate world, unveiling the complexities of her experiences,
the emotional toll of survival, and empowering journey of recovery.
While Kate recognizes that seeking justice isn't always straightforward, her
(06:55):
journey extends beyond that pursuit. It's about breaking the silent
that has long suffocated her and countless other women. Through
her writing, Kate seeks to uplift women and spark conversations
that reshape narratives around trauma. She believes that one can
(07:21):
foster healing and connection by courageously dismantling the cycles of
silence and pain. Silence and pain. So everyone, let us
welcome Kate to the said, Kate welcome. It's an empower
(07:41):
on today.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
How are you doing?
Speaker 5 (07:43):
I'm great? Thank you? How are you?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I am well? And I want people to be aware.
Speaker 6 (07:48):
The time zone difference is a real it's real. So
she's across the world halfway. We're in the evening and
she is pretty much in the mid more part of
her day and we truly thank you for coming here
and greasing this platform with your story on today, which
shows you are indeed a woman of resilience. And I
(08:11):
applaud you on today because it took a lot just
busy on this platform to come and share your story.
Go ahead and introduce yourself to our audience, let them
know where you're connected from, and let your friends and
family know that you're an emerge and empower today.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Well, thank you for having me. I'm Cath Singh and
I'm from the bottom of Australia at the beginning of
the Great Ocean Road at Bell Stage and I can
hear my puppy and my son getting ready for school
in the background, so it's very early here. And as
she said, I'm an author and a speaker and an
(08:51):
educator and I'm really grateful to be here to share
my story and hope that that helps bridge the gap
for somebody else's story to be heard.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Indeed, that is the whole purpose of emerging and powers
for individuals to come on and share their story to
indeed bridge the gap, to bring hope to the hopeless. Okay,
to motivate someone who's feeling like, you know what, I
don't think I can get out of this. But when
you hear the individual stories, you find that, first of all,
you're not alone in what you're going through.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So don't put yourself in a box.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
Don't just move away or cower away or shy away,
or whatever it is you're doing right now. I want
you to understand you're not the only one that is
experiencing this, and this is happening all around the world.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We're going worldwide.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
It is happening on your block, It is happening to
a friend that you know who probably don't know what
you're going through. And day two are going through because
people learn. We live in a time where we love
to put on front right appearances as those things are well,
but they are not because there's a lot of inner
healing that needs to take Please, So at this time, Kate,
(10:06):
we would like for you to just go right into
your story.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Cap you know, from Muhammad, I said, Kate, Cat, I'm
sorry about that.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Let's first come on in.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Here and just let's get right into your story. Okay,
let's get into where did you realize it was time
for a change, and you will take us back through
your personal story.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Well, I was in my early twenties and I remembered
childhood sexual abuse by a family member. And it took
another ten years really to calibrate the story and to
make sense of it. And so I was it was
the beginning of COVID here in Australia, and I decided
that enough was enough and that was the time to
(10:49):
go to police and talk about what had happened to me.
So I had sat in that story for a long
time in silence, not because I didn't feel I had
people to tell, but I just wanted to protect those
around me from the pain that I was feeling and
the shame that I was feeling. So for a long
time I held on to that. And then it was
(11:10):
time to be honest. And what I thought was protecting
other people was really creating a wall between us. So
once I was able to kind of share my internal
world honestly and with courage to others, then I was
able to really connect in a way that I hadn't
been able to before.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Wow. Wow, that's tremendous. So take us to your journey.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
So I was five years old and was abused the
first time it was my birthday party, and I blocked
that memory out instantly. And two other incidents happened, one
when I was eight, one when I was eleven. And
it wasn't until I was in my early twenties that
depression sat in. And I was a happy kid. I
(11:59):
was an athlete, I had a lot of friends. There
weren't any signs and anything untoward had occurred. And when
I was in my twenties, I couldn't make sense of
the feeling that I had in my body. So it
was my body kind of knocking. My mind had blocked
it out entirely, and once the feeling started to get
too much, then I sought help. And once I remembered,
(12:23):
I then had to make sense of what that meant
for this happy identity that I'd created and this happy,
go lucky person. It wasn't until I started then exploring
my own healing and I understood how prevalent it was.
And I think that that's the shame of it, is
that one in three girls and one in five boys
worldwide will be impacted by this issue before the age
(12:44):
of eighteen, and we're not talking about it, and we're
not talking about the fact that ninety percent of us
know our perpetrator and fifty percent of us are related
to our perpetrator.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
Yes, yes, wow, five years old your birthday, which is
supposed to be a special day. Of course, we don't
forget special birthdays, whether we had a celebration or not.
If something has happened around your birthday, definitely, it is
(13:16):
a memory that you cannot erase, even if you want
to subconsciously lock it away. And all of that triggers happen. Right,
So you're five years old when this first happened to you,
which is supposed to be a time of joy, a
time to let a little girl just be a princess,
you know, continue dreaming, and now your world has been shifted.
(13:39):
Your world just became a nightmare when it should be
a celebration.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Wow. Yeah, And I didn't. I had blocked it entirely.
So there were feelings that came up every year around
my birthday that I couldn't make sense of. And you know,
I love parties, so I love celebrating, and I love
people and getting together. So I always had this little
part of me that I was fighting against. And I
guess that there was a part of me that was
(14:07):
looking for danger. And so then for a long time
I had to unmap what feeling happy and loved and
connected really meant because I was always looking for fear
alongside it, because that's the way my brain had been
mapped to experience it.
Speaker 7 (14:22):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Wow Wow. And then so the next incident, you said
you were seven.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Or eight, I was eight years old, the same perpetrator,
And again it was at a family function, and then
again at eleven, and look beyond as the details of
what happened to me, I think the part of the
story that I really want people to understand is that
this happened right under my parents' notse that my mom
(14:48):
and dad were beautiful people, my family, extended families are great,
And this is what happens over and over again, is
that the perpetrators prey on the shame of the incidents.
So that's like lence manifests itself. And I didn't have
language to make sense of what was happening to me,
and so I guess I sheltered it until I was
(15:10):
an adult and I could find the language, and I
could find the strength to heal and to talk about
what had happened. But as I said. Even then, it
took another twenty three years to go to police, and
often people ask me why, and I believe it wasn't
because I wasn't believed. It wasn't because I didn't think
that I would get support. It was because I wanted
(15:32):
to protect people around me. I wanted to save them
from feeling the same amount of hurt that I was experiencing.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right right, That's what tends to happen when you're a child.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
You feel like not speaking is saving or trying to
keep family friends together. You don't bland to be the
reason why, you know, the friendship or anything changes, so
therefore you feel like, you know what, let me be
the person to not say anything. But that's what the
innocence mine is thinking. But in reality, it's continuing and
(16:08):
opening a room for the perpetrator to continue the abuse.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay because once it happened.
Speaker 6 (16:13):
Once, now they feel like you didn't say anything before,
so I can come back, I can bring this again
and again.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
And sometimes the perpetrator end up living in the home.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
As well, which is even more dangerous because they're there
not and day they totally have your parents trusts.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Okay, go away, I'm going out. So and so's with you.
You can babysit, you can do this, you can do that.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
So the silence is actually very dangerous because not only
is it dangerous for the child, but it's also dangerous
for other children, even family members.
Speaker 7 (17:21):
He jumped off, Okay, let's try to scamper.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Ty called me girls and interrupted my recording. Oh oh
my goodness. All right, let's see if I could come
back in. Oh my god, I don't even remember what
I said. I usually say family, don't call, I'm recording,
but today I totally forgot.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
That's why I like recording. Is I could go back
and I can you know, cut ahead?
Speaker 3 (18:14):
All right?
Speaker 6 (18:14):
Yeah, yeah, anyway, so we're going to continue as far
as you know, the child and bringing people into the
home and the damage.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
That it costs with the silence costs.
Speaker 6 (18:23):
The silence costs a lot of damage, right, not only
for the child but for family members, but so a
lot of times they can even hurt the whole entire family.
So while children are thinking that they're protecting, there's a
lot of danger for their lives and also that of
your family, because if someone could do that to your child,
they can harm you as well. You understand, so we're
going to get right into it. So, finally, what gave
(18:46):
you the courage to speak your truth after so many
years of silence?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Becoming a mother and myself and I realized that I
wanted to model to my kids what courage and that
is different for everybody. I certainly don't advocate that the
path that I've taken is the path for everybody. I
believe healing is a very private journey, and however, one
(19:13):
feels that sense of wholeness is completely original to that individual.
For me, because I was speaking publicly already about empowerment
and about being one's true self, I felt like there
was always this part of me that was a little
bit inauthentic. I hadn't quite done the thing that I
(19:35):
was teaching other people to do. So once I looked
at my children and thought, I need to show them
how they can to be in control of their own narrative.
And so that was a turning point for me. And
I went to police and look, it's very complex with
historical child abuse cases, and I was told that the
(19:56):
statistics were very much against me, that it would be
very usual and challenging to get a conviction. But I
still knew that this was the only path for me.
I got to confront my abuser, I got to share
my whole story with friends and family, and I learned
a lot along the way, which is why I wrote
(20:17):
the book, because I thought, if I can minimize the
loneliness other people are feeling in this chiney, then it's
been worth it.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Wow wow wow. So in writing The Courage to Speak
Your Truth, what did you discover about yourself?
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I discovered that I'm very beautiful writer. It was like
the words you know, you're a spiritual woman. It was
like I channeled the words straight from God. It was
like just they came through me in a way that
I didn't know I could articulate. So I feel very
grateful for the fact that it's come here through a
(20:58):
higher power, I believe, and it's come for the audience,
not for me. So I've been asked if this was
a healing process, and absolutely it was. But I'd done
my healing before I wrote it, so it wasn't about
my healing. It was about and ensuring that there was
an opportunity for learning, because we all learned through each
other's stories, right, And I think that and there's allies
(21:22):
of survivors that don't understand this. So I think I've
written it for those people, for the supporters of individuals
who have endured this kind of abuse, so they can
start to understand what their loved ones are going through.
Speaker 6 (21:35):
Right right, it is so true, And I'm glad you
said that, because in order to write your story, you
definitely have to be healed to want to sit there
and write it.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
It takes time.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
For me.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
My abuse, I was six years old.
Speaker 6 (21:51):
Right by nine, I knew I wanted to write my story,
but it was meant to be a memoir to my
children after I'm gone. I felt so ashamed as a
kid growing up. Even as a teenager, I said I
would tell my truth, even though parents knew about it.
But the first incident but didn't do anything about it.
So I decided to be a memoir to my children.
I was still ashamed. I was still doing all of that,
(22:12):
but I knew I wanted to write. I wanted to
leave it as a legacy, but I didn't write it
until pretty much thirty five years later. You know, but
in order to do that, you have to confront your truth.
You have to confront your past. So as you were
journeying through this as you went to tell your truth,
a lot of this reality came in. You went through,
(22:34):
I'm sure, all of these emotions in order to express
your truth in your story.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
What was that like for you as you journeyed through?
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Liberating and terrifying? And so I think, you know, a
combination of everything, Like some days I felt strong, some
days I felt completely inadequate, and I you know, it
was a bit like healing through an injury, and you know,
it's one step forward, three steps back. And I felt
(23:07):
like there were times, you know, when you clean out
your wardrobe and all your clothes are on the bed
and they're a mess, and you're putting them back one
by one, and you think, why did I start this process?
Like this is whom's a mess? This is why didn't
I just leave it all in the cupboard, all shoved
in like it was working for me? And so, I,
you know, that's how I felt at times. I wondered
why I started it. And now I'm very grateful that
(23:29):
my children know my story and they know that they
can talk to me about anything that they feel, and
that sometimes there's people in their lives that will make
them uncomfortable and they have to trust that instinct.
Speaker 6 (23:42):
So as you can see, it's called when silence breaks
and healing begin. Right, So for Keith and anyone that
is watching, we need to come from hiding, you know,
those lies and all of that, and really face the truth.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
The good or ugly truth.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Right.
Speaker 6 (24:00):
The Bible tells us, you know, the truth will set
you free. It might be liberating for you, but someone
else has got to deal with that, deal with what
it was that they did. They have to pay for
their sins because the Bible tells us the wages of
sin is dead. So you killed by the sword, you
die by the sword, because that's you know, we understand
that as Garma. We understand that as an ecclesiastities that
(24:21):
says what goes around comes around, so that life will
bring that full circle back. And if it's not happening
to that person, then unfortunately that children, someone in their
bloodline will deal with this.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
So that's why it's important for us to talk about it.
Speaker 6 (24:38):
I'm glad that you said that your children are aware
of it and they know because this is key for
them in their future to be aware.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Of course, why is mom even being cautious.
Speaker 6 (24:49):
Why does mom react the way that she reacts because
they understand that you had to pass history and you're
doing it from a place of love and also protection,
you understand. So I'm glad that you mentioned the fact
that your children are aware. And how were your children
when you brought this that you brought it about before
(25:09):
you wrote the book or once you.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Wrote the book.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
With both my children when they were eight, I don't
know why I felt like that was the age that
that was appropriate to talk to. I spoke to both
of them before that time about what had happened to me,
and they both understood that throughout the investigation what was happening.
They knew the day that I was confronting my USA,
So I was very open because I didn't want them
(25:34):
to construct a narrative about any of my experiences being
their fault or any of my moods impacting them. So
I was also always very honest about today's a hard
day for me because and you know, because I think
once kids are given the information, it's often the stories
they construct that are more damaging than the truth. So
they and I wanted to model that hard things can happen,
(25:57):
but we can still come out with strength and and
as long as we confront things and we're honest and
we lean in to get support as opposed to lean out.
And I think most of the issues happen with mental
health when individuals isolate themselves. And I want to do
everything I can to teach my children that leaning in
is where the power is.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Right, leaning in power.
Speaker 6 (26:20):
So we're gonna come right back, and let's go back
to a commercial break at this time, we'll be right back.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
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same old routine. For centuries, seventy five percent of coffee
drinkers have settled for mediocrity, masking the taste with sugar
syrups and overpriced add ons. But what if coffee didn't
(26:51):
just promise to be amazing? What if it actually was
Introducing a live coffee, the first coffee that tastes as
good as it makes you feed, meet the coffee that
thinks beyond the cup. Bold smooth alive made from expertly roasted,
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(27:13):
shockingly delicious. Stop drinking may start drinking alive the coffee
that delivers, just like the ninety percent who won't start
their day without it. A live coffee, wake up, take over,
feel alive.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
So, Kat, we're going to go back here to how
did you handle the emotional weight of telling your story
and the justice that you probably didn't think you will get.
What was that like for you?
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Well, I guess I had to be very clear on
my own objectives because I knew that gaining justice was
going to be very slim. So I focused on what
made me happy, and that was my relationships with my
family and friends that you know, there's a saying the
Buddha says that you know, anger is like drinking poison
(28:06):
and expecting the other person to die. And I think
for me it was very much about I need to
ensure that I'm not drinking any more poison, that my
loved ones who are supporting me aren't punished by this
and impacted by this anymore than they need to be.
And so that's what the investigation did at place the
blame where it was deserved to be placed, and I
(28:28):
was able to let it go. So that there was
freedom in my day and in my heart and in
my mind.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Now, did you in the end get the justice that
you felt you needed? Was it fair? How did that outcome?
Speaker 5 (28:41):
No, there wasn't enough to proceed to trial, and you
know only temp you know, I think the detective at
the beginning said to me that only twenty three percent
of sexual assault survivors come forward, and of those twenty
three percent, only ten percent will proceed to a trial.
And because it had been you know, forty odd years
(29:03):
since my incident had occurred, there just wasn't any physical
evidence and there was a witness that wasn't willing to
make a statement. And I think that's, you know, a
common story. And so that's why I want to talk
about it, because if I had listened to that detective initially,
I wouldn't have gone through with it. Then I'd probably
still be trapped with my own story, right, And it
(29:26):
gave me an opportunity to really share it in a
way that I'd never done so before, and that was
the healing element that that.
Speaker 6 (29:34):
Is indeed important because you were able to share it,
it was public and the person the perpetrator, even though
they didn't have enough evidence, but they had to realize
that this truth was told. It is no longer a secret,
you understand. So a lot of people are watching this
person and now there's a lot of parents or even
(29:55):
family members who are no longer trust to have this
person around. So they did lose a lot of those
connections by you coming out, whether they had enough evidence
or not. Because now you're at peace, your story has
been told, all right, and now everyone is aware, you understand,
it's aware, and everyone has full knowledge and understanding.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Of what transpired and that you know.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
For some might not think that was a victory, but
that's a victory in itself because you were able to
tell your truth, you presented it, you made your case
all right. There was enough evidence because of the time
that lapsed, and if only there's always if that witness
who actually spoke up, that would be some you know,
something that is credible. But people tend to shy away
because they want to be removed from it. You know,
(30:41):
it's your words against mine, you know, whatever their reasons
are for not speaking, all right, But.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
In my case it was she was also a victim,
so there's no judgment on my behalf that she didn't
do that, and I understand why she hasn't, and you know,
and it's like, so that's where I think we have
to just be accepting of.
Speaker 7 (31:03):
What she.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Didn't yet deal with her.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah. And look, at the end of
the day, I the justice for me is that I've
got a fabulous life. I've got a beautiful husband and
two gorgeous children, and I can't imagine living with the
shame of perpetrating these horrible acts against the child. So
I think in you know, that's to me, that's the karma.
(31:31):
You've got to live with your own decisions, and I
am comfortable living with mine, right right.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (31:39):
So what would you say to women that are still carrying,
you know, this hidden trauma or unsure where to begin
in their healing.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
Well, I would always say that start with getting congruent
with your narrative internally. So make sure that the voice
that you're listening to is your own and your strength
and your truth, and it's not dictated by someone else's actions.
And I began by making sense of my feelings by writing.
So I always had a journal. I write a lot
(32:11):
of poetry, and it was through writing that helped me
establish my next steps, So you know, absolutely go and
speak to somebody. You know. I'm but I believe that
really getting clear on what our internal voice is telling
us is where the healing begins.
Speaker 6 (32:30):
Right, an internal voice get in the front row seat
of your life. I have through the years seen individuals
who carried it sixty seventy years, and when they finally
told their truth, it was like, why did I wait
so long?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
This is so liberating? Why did I carry this weed?
Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know?
Speaker 6 (32:51):
For some they actually waiting to tell the perpetrator was
no more before they could even voice it, because the
fear was still there. So I want to say this
and to everyone that is watching, don't tell someone who's
dealt with such trauma to tell them to get over it.
There's no such thing as getting over it. It's a scar, okay,
(33:13):
And it's a permanent car all right. It's just like
a tattoo. You can't go and undo that tattoo. That
star is, that scar is there. So getting over it
is you saying it in your word. But it takes
a lot to heal and to talk about it. And
sometimes some of the people who are saying get over
it are actually people who themselves have been victimized, but
(33:35):
that still rebuttal, I guess they don't want to talk
about it.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Leave it alone.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
I don't want to bring up, you know, old things,
but yet they're hurting, right, You're hurting and you're bleeding,
and believe it or not, your reactions to everything that
you're doing in life are stemming from, Okay, that place
of hurt.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Whether you want to receive that truth or not. Okay,
it is the way you react with people.
Speaker 6 (34:04):
The walls that you put up, everything that you do,
whatever you call your defense mechanism, is actually doing more
damage than good.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
All right, So.
Speaker 6 (34:14):
Let's go right back to your book here, and how
do you see your book and your voice reshaping women
people as they read this story of your journey here?
Speaker 5 (34:30):
Well, I wrote this to minimize the loneliness that individuals
feel in their own story and to share the challenges
that I've faced in a truthful, honest way so that
people understand. You know that it isn't healings, not a
straight line. It's not linear, and there is parts of
my story that are really heartbreaking, but it's not uncommon.
(34:55):
And that's why I wanted to talk about it, because
until we start making this conversation we're willing to have.
Then the shame will silence the people that need to
speak up and will empower those that should not have
a voice. So I'm you know, I wanted to enable
survivors to have an opportunity to feel less lowly, and
(35:16):
also allies and supporters of those survivors to have a
resource that will help them understand their loved one and
what they're going through.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (35:25):
So you're here to hear an emergent and power and
you'll be able to connect with Kate through the link
that's in the bio. Where can they find your book?
Speaker 5 (35:35):
It's on Amazon in America, so they can find it
there or Apple Books or Spotify if they want to
go and hear the audible version. It's also on Kindle,
so you know, enjoy and you reach out to me
on social media. I'm on Instagram and Facebook and my
website is www dot bespeak dot au and so we
(35:59):
can can it there.
Speaker 6 (36:01):
And for those who are there in Australia, she's local.
So if you're looking for someone for a speaking platform
and you need someone to come in or maybe just
get the book and get a reading circle of women
and just invite, you know, invite Cat over so that
you know she can continue with that journey, whether it's
(36:21):
in your church groups, wherever you are. Just what I
love about a social media you can reach people everywhere
across the world, whether they're living with family members, those
who are even homeless because of such situations.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Believe it or not, there are people who.
Speaker 6 (36:40):
Are homeless because they have to leave the home because
the perpetrator is in the home. So a lot of
homeless people are not homeless because they don't have a job,
they don't have place, but they're with family and that
pain is at home, so they have to leave home
as a safety haven, trying to get away from the
perpetrator to stop a lot of this damage and pain
(37:01):
that is happening into their lives. So I want to
thank you so much Kat for coming here on Emergent
Empower today. She will not be a stranger. She will
be a part of our next expose that will be
coming out for she Emergence Experience. If you find Kat relatable,
please reach out in boxer here, reach out to those
(37:23):
links that are in the bio n Let's continue the
healing journey.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Let us indeed heal for real. The time for healing is.
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Now everyone, Okay, the time is now. Stop putting it aside,
stop silencing it. You know that noise, even if you're quiet,
it is louder than what you share. So allow yourself
to heal. Okay, allow yourself to come about for these
said changes on today. So Kat, thank you so much
for coming on emerge and empowered today, and don't be
(37:56):
a stranger. We'll stay and connect everyone, and thank you
for joining us today and until next time.
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Kat, thank you so much, lovely to say you you too,
thank you so much, and bye bye. Okay, thank you,
bye bye, thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
All right, you can end, I will continue.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
Okay, thanks really.
Speaker 6 (38:27):
All right, everyone, So we just want to thank everyone
that was watching. Like I said, the journey for individuals
are continuous here and the reach for emergent.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
And power is global. We are global.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
We are reaching across the ocean for miles and thousands
of miles on continent to continent. So don't be a stranger.
We have Ghana, we have Canada, we have people across
the world and now we have Australia that are connecting
here because women and men are herding all around the world.
Some similar scenarios that are happening, and let us indeed
(39:03):
heal for real, everybody. That is the best thing that
we can do for ourselves is truly let go and
let this journey to healing continue.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Do you have a story?
Speaker 6 (39:13):
Tell reach out to us on Emerging and Power at
gmail dot com. Let's continue letting this platform be the
voice for you until next time.
Speaker 8 (39:26):
Everyone, Remember when coffee was just coffee, a routine sip,
part of the two billion cups consumed daily, enough to
fill an Olympic swimming pool every three minutes, same old flavor,
same old routine. For centuries, seventy five percent of coffee
drinkers have settled for mediocrity, masking the taste with sugar
(39:48):
syrups and overpriced add ons. But what if coffee didn't
just promise to be amazing? What if it actually was
Introducing a live coffee, the first coffee that tastes as
good as it makes you feel. Meet the coffee that
thinks beyond the cup. Bold, smooth, alive, made from expertly roasted,
(40:09):
top quality beans. A live coffee is smooth, rich, and
shockingly delicious. Stop drinking may start drinking alive, the coffee
that delivers just like the ninety percent who won't start
their day without it. A live coffee wake up take over,
feel alive,
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