Escape Radio Shows - A Diamond As Big As The Ritz

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Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Escape. Escape tonight to a fabulousworld where there is a Diamond as Big
as the Ritz. A Columbia Broadcastingsystem and it's affiliated stations presents Escape,
a new series of programs, ofwhich this the third is The Diamond As

(00:28):
Big as the Rents by F.Scott Fitzgerald, produced and directed by William
N. Robson. In a countryas large as ours, there are many
odd and wonderful corners hidden away,but none more fabulous and wonderful than the
one conceived in the imagination of F. Scott Fitzgerald and located in the pages

(00:53):
of his famous short story The DiamondAs Big as the Ritz. It is
described in the words of John twentyyears old, impressionable and quite willing to
swear to the truth of this wholestrange affair. I've been going to the
Saint Midas Prep school for a coupleof years, and this was my second
summer vacation. I'd met this fellow, Percy Washington, during the winter and

(01:15):
got to be pretty good friends withhim. Only I didn't know about his
family, or where he came from, or anything like that. Of course,
I knew he must be rich,because Hall of fellas a Saint Midas
come from wealthy families. So whenhe invited me to spend the summer at
his home out west someplace, thatwas okay by me. Well, we've
been on the train overnight when hefirst mentioned it. I don't even remember

(01:36):
now what led up to it.We've been talking about first one thing and
then another. Exactly where is yourhome, Percy? I mean you bought
the train tickets and all. It'sin Montana, sort of Montana. Oh,
yes, it's pretty wild country,isn't it. Some of it is.

(01:57):
When I you take Haites, Missouri, where I come from, it's
been settled for one hundred and fiftyyears, one of the first times on
the Mississippi River. Indeed. Ohsure, that's very interesting. Huh.
I sure do appreciate you not makingjokes about it, you know the way
some of the fellows do when Isay I come from Hades. Why my
father's plantations? John, Do youknow that my father is the richest man

(02:20):
in the world. Uh? Byfar the riches. Well, I read
about a man that paid taxes ona five million dollar income. Small fry.
If my father paid tax on hisreal income, he disrupt the whole
economy. Of the United States.No kidding. I like rich people,
and the richer fellow is the better. I like him. My father could
buy out all the millionaires in thecountry and not even know he had done

(02:43):
it. Is that a fact?Why visit that the Schlitzer Murphy's once they're
plenty of rich? Why their daughterVivian's got rubies as big as hens,
eggs and sapphires that glue like headlamps. I like jewels, always have.
I used to collect them instead ofstamps and diamonds. For the Schlitzer Murphy's
had diamonds as big as walnuts.Oh that's nothing, huh, nothing at

(03:05):
all. My father has a diamondas big as the Ritz. Please,
I'm not joking, but you meanas big as the Ritz Carlton Hotel exactly.
My father has a diamond as bigas the Ritz. Well, from

(03:29):
there on it was something like adream. We got off the train about
dusk at a little whistle stop calledFish, Montana. There wasn't anything there,
not even a station, just abroken down old buggy and four or
five sheep herders lounging beside the track, and I suppose wondering who we were
anyway, Percy and I climbed intothe buggy, and without saying a word,

(03:51):
the driver cracked his whip and offwe went. I don't know how
far we traveled. We didn't seemto be following any road. After an
hour or so, it got dark, but the driver kept right on,
never saying a word. I hopeyou'll pardon this inconvenience, John, but

(04:16):
we have to take certain precautions,you know. Oh, that's all right.
Anyway, we're almost there your home, you mean, oh, no,
to the place where we consider itsafe to transfer transfer What do you
mean? There's the signal now,headlights well up, the haws absom here
we are an automobile. But wellthere's no road. Oh, this car

(04:39):
is specially built, doesn't need roads. Welcome home, Muster, good evening,
Gigson. Oh, come on,John, let's get in. That
door opened by it so sonically controlled? You know. Gosh, what's this
car made out of? Silver?No platinum? And those are emeralds in

(04:59):
the hubcaps, in the upholstering.It's per mink. You already must have
anytime, Gigsum. You've probably noticedthe exceptional brightness of the headlights, the
lenses are cut from diamonds. Boy, what a car in this old junkie
We use it for a station wagon. What are we stopping for? This

(05:32):
is just the deserted canyon. Oh, we're not there yet, John,
it's a little further. Wait you'llsee hell, oh, Percy, what's
that the noise they're sending the hooksdown hooks, Yes, to attach to
the wheels. You know that's whatGigxon is doing now. But oh yes,

(05:55):
I forgot to mention. Gigson willlook after you during the visit.
Look after me, you're personal valet. Of course there'll be other slaves available
too, whenever you need them.Do you have a lot of slaves?
Oh? Three or four hundred?I suppose already, Gigsum. Yes,
must hello a store. Look we'releaving the ground. Yes, there's a

(06:25):
hois step there on top of thecliff has cables about a quarter of a
mile long. But what four Ohit's the only way in imagine hoisting an
automobile a quarter of a mile upthe side of a cliff. It's nothing
really, As you may have guessed, John, this is not going to
be like anything you ever saw beforein your life. Well, John,

(06:57):
there it is that's your home.Oh it's magnificent, placial. It's not
a bad little place. How bigis it? I suppose you mean the
number of rooms. I think it'saround one hundred and forty, but Father
may remember exactly. Then, ofcourse there are other buildings, slaves,

(07:18):
quarters and things. Why has anybodyever found out about it? This place?
I mean, well, for onething, it's the only five square
miles in the United States that havenever been surveyed. Huh why not?
Oh? Things were arranged. Idon't see how that's possible. Believe me,
it hasn't been easy. I understand. Grandfather had to bribe three government

(07:41):
bureaus, a vice president, andhalf of Congress ones to keep this place
off of the maps. Oh butsurely somebody stumbled on to it. Prospectors
people like that. Oh, yes, that happens occasionally. Then, of
course we have to arrange things.You mean, not always. Usually we
just take them prisoner and keep themsame as the aviators. Oh, planes

(08:03):
come here, well, once ina while they fly over. Of course
they never get away. We havenine anti aircraft batteries around the hill here.
You shoot them down. Oh,yes, great sport. It does
upset mother a bit, though,and there's always a chance that one might
get away. That's father's greatest worry. This place, this whole thing,

(08:26):
it's fantastic. Oh, come now, John, I picked you for a
fellow with his feet on the ground, and you haven't seen anything yet.
You know this is only the beginning, And it was only the beginning.

(08:50):
We crossed the acres of lawn andentered the great Chateau, and from that
moment on, vision upon vision tumbletogether in a gigantic kaleidoscope of color,
symmetry and exquisite harmony. But therewere corridors lined with gleaming crystals, lit
by lamps cut from emerald, Andthere were great halls carpeted with chinchilla fur
and ermine, and some with floorsof clear transparency flaming in the shifting glow

(09:15):
of a myriad colored fire beneath them. And there was a white haired man,
pink faced and pleasant, who wasPercy's father, and a lovely lady
with dark hair piled high on herhead like a fragile queen, who was
Percy's mother. Soft music came fromhidden places, perfumes filled the air,

(09:39):
Exotic foods and wines more rare thanpearls. And finally, sitting in my
chair in the Great banquet Hall,I quietly fell asleep. I thought there
could be no more nor greater wonders. I was wrong. There were many

(10:01):
more and greater ones, and oneof them I discovered the next morning in
the garden. Hello man, huhoh, oh, you're lovely. My

(10:22):
name is Kismarin. You're John Hungerand you're a friend of my brother.
Are you from the East, No, well, at least not exactly.
I'm from Hades, Oh, Missouri. Would you like to sit down here
on the grass. Well, yeah, sure I would. I'm going east
to school this fall. Do yousuppose I like it? I think so.

(10:43):
Of course it'll be different from allthis. Well that's what Jasmine says.
And she's in the east. NowI've never been outside. Who's Jasmine?
My sister. She's older than Iam. I hope you won't be
offended. But you're the most beautifulgirl I've ever seen. Yes, I

(11:03):
know what. Ha I surprised youdidn't I a year ago I would have
said thank you. But father saysit's very necessary to learn to take things
for granted. So now I justtake it for granted that I'm beautiful.
You see, you're pretty sophisticated,aren't you. Oh, I'm not at
all. I think sophisticated young peopleare terribly common. I'm not a bit
like that. I didn't really meanit. I only said it to tease

(11:26):
you. Well, I'm glad.I wouldn't want you to think anything like
that. Why. I don't smokeor drink even And I never read a
thing he'd said poetry. I wasonly kiddened. I believe girls should enjoy
their youth in a wholesome sort ofway. Oh so do I I like
you, John. I wish you'dspend some of your time with me this
summer, not all with Percy.Oh, I will kiss mine, I

(11:48):
will. You may be in lovewith me if you'd like to. I'm
absolutely fresh ground. You know Iam in love with you. But of
course we'll have to meet secretly.My parents wouldn't if they knew, and
that's what we'll do. Well,I have to go now. I'm supposed
to be with mother at eleven.Uh aren't you going to ask me for
a kiss? Jasmine says, boysalways do nowadays, Well, some of

(12:13):
them do, but not me,We don't expect nice girls to do that
sort of thing. In hades,it was a funny thing. Percy's family
were polite, friendly, always smiling, and yet all the time I had
a feeling that some terrible and goldenmystery lay hidden just around the corner.

(12:39):
A few days after I'd met kidsmind, Percy remarked casually that an unusual
event had occurred, a man hadescaped from the cage. I didn't know
what he meant then, but thenext morning I was walking with Percy's father
on the grounds of the estate.The slaves quarters are there, Miss Dangun.
Oh, yes, they're very nice, very adequate. During one period

(13:03):
of my youth, I became absurdlyidealistic and allowed them to live in luxury.
I even equipped their rooms with tiledbars. I suppose they used the
bath tubs to keep coal in,Mister Schlitzer murphatized. Imagine the opinions of
mister Schlitzer Murphy are of little importance. They did not use the tubs for
coal. They bathed in them.Unfortunately, several caught cold and died,

(13:26):
so of course I had the bathsremoved. Shall we move on, mister
Washington. Percy said something about aman escaping from the cage. I didn't
quite get it. The cage.Eh, well, perhaps you'd like to
see it might prove interesting, justas novelty. It's over here these trees.
They're sixty feet tall and they haveroses blooming all over them. Rather

(13:52):
interesting development by a Swiss botanist.They're the only ones in the world.
I'll be time, though. Isuppose you'll see them all over the country
a few years. No, no, these are the only ones that was
arranged. Here. Here we arethe cage. It's a pit dug in
the ground, the grating on top. Oh, yes, it's not really

(14:16):
a cage, except in a certainsense. Well boys, how are you
getting along, sir? Yeah?How many men are down there? About
fifty years? I recalled? Ohare they oh? Aviators? We've shut
down wandering prospectors, men of thatsort. Yes, But why are they

(14:39):
kept there? They've all had thecommon misfortune of having discovered El Dorado.
Gentlemen, I'm sure you'd like toknow that your companion, who departed without
my permission, has been taken careof. He was shot. He was
shot by some of by agents infourteen different places golfed, mister Unger.

(15:09):
They found them, then a manwho got away. Those places were towns.
My agents were over eager. Noneof them could offer a positive identification.
I am afraid the man may stillbe at large. So you see,
it's not all utopia, Hair.We do have our difficulties. Isn't
it a little unnecessary holding them likethat? We're not at all. It's

(15:31):
the only way to keep this placehidden. Yes, I guess that must
be important. Percy was telling mesomething on the train. I thought he
was just kidding, but he said, you had a diamond as big as
the Ritz Carlton Hotel. Oh.Yes, yes, indeed, as a
matter of fact, it's much biggerthan the Rits, much bigger. Well,

(15:58):
summer went on, and I wasmore and more in love with Kismine.
Oh she was priceless, exquisite,like no other girl in the world.
After a couple of weeks, I'dkissed her, of course, and
I was really in love for thefirst time. Oh. I should have
known. I should have put twoand two together when Percy's father showed me

(16:19):
the cage, but I didn't untilone morning late in the summer. I'd
slipped off with Kismine into the rosegarden, kis mine. I think we
ought to elope. Oh, Idon't know. It would be much nicer
to be married here, But thenit would be more romantic to a lope.
Yeah, all the Sunday supplements wouldwrite stories about fabulous heiress elopes with

(16:45):
you are fabulous. You know.I knew an heiress from Omaha once.
I don't think you'd like her.She visited my sister here. Oh you've
had other guests Nnah, Well,yes, we've had a few. Wasn't
your father ever afraid they might talkoutside to some extent? Oh, let's
talk about something pleasanter but so unpleasantabout it? Well, I grew quite

(17:08):
fond of some of them. Youmean they told and your father. Oh,
they didn't get a chance to Fatherhad to be sure. That's murder.
What else could we do in thecage. Well, they'd have been
a constant reproach to us. Andfather does it so nicely. They're always
drugged in their sleep, and thenwe tell their families they died of scarlet

(17:30):
fever and butte, I'm not surehow that affects the statistics there. Of
all the horrible it is not,after all, be terribly boring here without
ever having anybody. Why father andmother have sacrificed some of their best friends.
Well, you're no better than ther Well then that's what they planned
to do with me. Oh couldn'tyou forget it and be nice to me

(17:52):
until you've put away? It's onlyfor two or three weeks. You'd go
on this way, kissing, talkingabout love when you know I'm not much
better than a corpse. You're nota corpse, You're not. I won't
have you saying I kissed a corse. Oh that wasn't what I said.
I did not. You said it, father, who kissed a corpse?
Nobody? We were joking, youtoo, having any business here anyway?

(18:15):
Kis Mine, go read, goplick olf, Go let me find you
here when I come back. Yes, father, good day, children.
You see now he knows you've spoiledeverything. You don't really love me,
kis Mine, You tell me what'sthe reason for all this secrecy? What
if you are rich and have thisplace, Why would it be so terrible

(18:37):
if anybody found out about it?Why it's on account of the diamond,
of course, diamond. What isthis diamond? All of you talk about.
Well, it's the Oh, you'dbetter ask Percy. I'm always getting
things mixed up. Well, Iwill ask him. And another thing.
I'm getting out of here tonight.If I have to dig through the mountains,
I'm going back east. Take mewith you. No, why not?

(18:59):
His my dear, your father wouldn'tpermit it. If you won't take
me, I'll go tell him Iwant to marry you, So you can't
do that. He bumped me offthis afternoon. Oh please take me,
darling. We'll be terribly poor andvery happy, and I'll cook things for
you. Oh, herbs and berriesand things. Won't that be fun?
You will, won't you? John? Well, my head was really in

(19:25):
a whirl. This whole thing wasfantastic, So was the family, even
kids mine. I couldn't think ofanything to do, but well, I
rushed to see Percy. But John, why didn't you ask me before?
Because I thought you were kidding allthe time. I know you wouldn't have
believed me if I told you.Well, I'm ready to believe anything.
No. Well, it was grandfatherwho started the whole thing, purely by

(19:49):
accident. He came out here fromVirginia after the war, between the States
and stumbled onto it. Under whatthe diamond? That's what made this all
possible. Of course, grandfather Ispent two years going around to different cities
of the world selling bits of it. Then he started building this place.
He put his money in jewels,but father found that radium took much less

(20:11):
space. But why the secrecy,Oh, we just wouldn't do if anyone
found out, ruined the economy ofthe world. The thing's too big,
and this has been going on forthree generations. Then the cage and this
thing of inviting friends. Oh yes, you see, there wasn't really any
danger before airplanes They are what worrious? You knew, and you invited me

(20:33):
here? What would happen? Please? John? I thought you'd be more
sensible about it. After all,you can see my position. Oh yeah,
well where is it? Where doyou keep this diamond? That's cause
so cock eyed much trouble? Oh? I thought you'd guessed. You've noticed
the hill the chateau stands on.It contains a cubic mile, and except
for a thin covering of dirt,it's one big, solid diamond. It

(21:08):
was nearly midnight. I don't knowwhat woke me, but all of a
sudden, I was staring across thepatches of moonlight, spotting the ermine carpet
of my bedroom, staring at threeslaves I'd never seen before. They just
slipped inside the door and stood there, each with a vicious length of shiny

(21:29):
copper wire, the official executioners.I lay there on the bed watching them,
counting heartbeats, not daring to move, not daring not to move.
They didn't know I'd wakened, andthey began edging across the room. Come
on, for three of you.There's no time off of this. All

(21:49):
hell's broken loose. Hurry. Itook one long, deep breath, the
first one in several moments, andthen I was out of the in an
instant, throwing on my clothes anddashing through the long crystal corad on a
kids mine's room. Kiss mine,Are you're awake? The window? So
they woke you up too? Ifyou mean three of your father's lave.

(22:11):
No airplane, airthlane. So that'swhat it is, at least it doesn't.
I saw them crossing against the moon. Oh look they're circling way over
there. You think they're here onpurpose? Oh? Yes, they dropped
warnings to father. It's that manwho got away from the cage room.
Now, Oh, good for him, Yes, wasn't he clever? Well?
I think we'll open up on themany seconds. Now, open up,
yes, already, aircraft. Oh, this is going to be thrilling,

(22:33):
thrilling. Oh look they're arranged now. Bravo, bravo. Get away
from that window. What good heavensdid you see that? Yes, and
we've got to get out of here. Can't you understand? Up on the
chateau next, I know there's alittle grove across on the side of the
mountains. We always keep one ofthe cars there. Oh, we have
a nice view of everything, anice view. Kiss. Mind, you
don't seem to understand. They meanbusiness. They're out to finish on you

(22:55):
and your whole family. But itall seems so silly, or when you
come right down to it, they'venever even met us. What time is
it, John? Is it morningyet? I don't know? I've lost

(23:15):
my watch. Seems to be gettinglighter, all right, it's quieter too.
Now they've knocked out your father's guns. Every last one of them will
belong now. Oh, it seemssuch a shame. The family puts so
much work on the place. Everything'salways been so pleasant. Well, you
better get some sleep, kids.Mine. I'm gonna walk down the path

(23:37):
a little ways. Oh you'll comeback, yes, kis mine, I'll
come back. At the edge ofthe wood, I stopped and looked out
across the valley toward direct chateau,standing on its diamond hill in the center.
The bombing had stopped. The planesdroned over the far rim of the
plateau, seeking some sort of formation. Then, on a little knoll just

(24:00):
below me, three men appeared suddenlyfrom the underbrush. The first one strode
imperiously ahead, and the other twobore a heavy burden between them. There
was mister Washington and two of theslaves. I stepped behind a rock and
stood motionless, watching them. Allright, this is far enough. We'll
stop here now, hoist it up, hold it there, both together,

(24:26):
easy, now here. The burdenthey held up to the heavens was an
immense diamond, cut and polished,catching the first faint rays of the dawn
and gleaming like a fragment of themorning star. Ah, you out there,
you there. I could see noone else anywhere in view. You

(24:47):
above there. I want you tounderstand this is only a sample. I'll
give you a thousand cut us fineset in pedestal of platinum, and I'll
build you a temple a thousand feethigh cast of solid gold, and on

(25:08):
the top of it, I'll putone diamond a hundred feet across, set
there forever to catch the rays ofyour son. The thought began to dawn
on me. I couldn't believe it. I'll let your name on the temple
in emeralds, and I'll see thatthe whole world worships at its base.

(25:34):
All you have to do is makeeverything the way it was before. Mister
Washington was offering a bribe to God. He stopped talking, and the three
of them stood there, looking upat the heavens, waiting for an answer.

(25:57):
And then, at the far endof the van, out of those
same silent heavens blossomed the white puffsof parachutes. A man who tried to
bribe God looked up and saw them, became old in an instant, and,
turning with lord head, walked downthe path toward the chateau. With
sudden premonition, I whirled and headedfor the spot where I'd left his mine,

(26:19):
his mine, and the car thatneeded no roads. Haven't we gone
far enough? John? I supposewe're ten miles from the chateau. It's
also hectic, is rushing about andlosing sleep and everything. Hand me those

(26:41):
field glasses. Here they are,Can you see anything? No? Wait?
Hmm? What is it? Yourfather and mother and Percy? Yes,
and the two slaves still carrying abig diamond. Oh wait, they're
going in a tunnel down below thechateau, so that they've got an underground
escape. No, I remember.Now the mountain's wired some kind of Adam

(27:04):
bomb, adam atomic bomb. Oh, that's it. Father's had it for
years. He always said it woulddisintegrate the whole works, diamond and all.
Of course, he only regarded itas the last resort. So I'd
rather have it like that. Nowthey're all inside the tunnel. Now the
troopers are moving in. I don'tsuppose there's really anything to be done about
it now, And there wasn't.I keep thinking about things the way they

(27:41):
were. It was all so pleasant. I don't suppose it will be ever
exactly like that again, not ever, kids mine, and maybe it never
was. Youth's are time for dreamingand dreams died too. I'll probably have
to take in washing, but ofcourse we'll be very happy. What will
we do, John do? Oh? We can love a while underneath the

(28:03):
stars. That's a form of divinedrunkenness. We can all try, and
then there may be other diamonds inthe world. Who knows. And even
though it's a shabby gift is alwaysdisillusion Turn up your call, Ki his
mind before you catch pneumonia. Let'sgo to sleep. The diamot As Big

(28:33):
as the Rets by F. ScottFitzgerald was adapted for radio by Les Crutchfield
and produced and directed by William N. Robeson, with Jack Edwards Junior as
John Daddy Merrill, Les Percy,and Linda Mason as Ki Mine. The
special musical score was conceived and conductedby Cy Fewer. Escape is presented by

(28:55):
the Columbia Broadcasting System and it's affiliatedstations. Each week at this time next
week, we invite you to escapeto the China Seas with Joseph Conrad in
his gripping story of a typhoon.And so good night until next week at
this time, when it will againbe time to escape. This is CBS,
the Columbia Broadcasting system