Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Attention, valued listeners. Congratulations on making it to the end
of excuse Us Season one. We at Blind Corp are
thrilled and slightly surprised that you survived this long, but
don't worry. Much like the Hawk virus, excuse Us is
always evolving, and thanks to a highly dedicated and questionably
(00:36):
sane team, season two is already in development. However, a
friendly reminder episodes are never truly final. Much like memory,
reality and legally binding contracts, they are subject to change.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
You may find that, upon revisiting an episode, certain scenes
have shifted, some lines may appear different, Some entire moments
may no longer exist were they ever there to begin with?
Stop asking if you find yourself nostalgic for a scene
that you swear was there before, one that has since
been redacted, erased, or otherwise misplaced In the ever growing
(01:17):
Blind Corp archive, We invite you to visit our patreon
at ww dot patreon dot com slash rodpool art, where
all additional content is stored, preserved, and occasionally whispered to
in the dead of night. Thank you for your continued loyalty,
and remember, Blind Corp is always watching, even when you
(01:40):
forget occultist Regimus.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
The tale of Don't Keep a Farm, and name Old Jeremiah.
Live in a queen little town of Joyceville, North Carolina,
nestle between rolling hills and whispering pines. It was known
for two things, his stubborn donkey Beauregard, and his told tales.
(02:13):
Jeremiah love to weep stories so wild and far fetched
that even the most gullible tonfolk would squint at him sideways.
One summer day, as a town folk gather to the
General's store as who swept gossip and sip tea sweet,
sweet summer tea, Jeremiah storm there and his face redder
(02:35):
than a ripe tomato. Yeah, I won't believe it just happened,
he hollered, waving his straw hat around like it was
on fire. My Boregard, don't save my life, But this
caught everyone's attention. Beauregard was notorious in Joyceville for being
the laciest donkey in three counties. The idea of him
(02:57):
saving anyone was asked likely snow in July, go on,
Jeremiah said, miss Ida, the storekeeper, what nonsense you got
for us today? Jeremiah pulled out his chest well. I
was out plowing the south field when certainly a mountain
lion leaped out of the bushes. The cat was bigger
(03:19):
than a hog and meaner than a rattler snake. It
came straight at me, I tell you, straight at me.
The crowd leaned in despite themselves. Boorah God saw it
up first. Jeremiah continued and let out their loudest beret
I ever heard. The lion froze like a statue. And
(03:41):
then did this Boyregar reared up and kicked his square
in the head enough that our clean save my bacon
he did. The room fell silent. Miss Ida tapped her
fingers from the counter. No, Jeremiah, she said, slowly, how
come Ma saw you and Borregone napping under the big
(04:04):
oak this morning? That's how I feel mbim plow in months.
Jeremiah's eyes darting around whill where he's startling. That's just
because after the lion incident, Beauregard got got got tuckered down,
and we had to rest. It was little Billy sitting
(04:27):
in the sacer flyer who piped up. If Beauregard kicked
the line, where's the scrutches on him? Where's the lion mouth?
Jeremiah hesitated, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.
What more, that's what the sound a fish would make.
What more, this being an audio medium, you can't really
(04:49):
see me do it. So what I'm making that sound? Uh?
The lion ran off fastest lightning. Y'all just missed it,
Jeremiah added. The crowd exchanged knowing glances. Finally, miss Ida
crossed the arms and Jeremiah, this sounds like our load
off donkey poop. The room erupted in laughter. Donkey poop,
(05:15):
They all hollered, slapping their knees. Jeremiah turned beat red,
but didn't argue. He knew he had been caught. From
that day on, whenever someone in joyce fil tried to
spin a tail too wild to believe, or when someone
was hiding the truth, the townfolk would grin and say
(05:38):
that sounds like our load of donkey poop. It became
their way of saying, we know there's more to the story,
and you ain't fool in us, And so the phrase
donkey poop was born, a lasting legacy of Old Jeremiah's
tall tales and the clever folks of joyce Filt who
(05:59):
refused to pay gas lit? What what I love that face?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Ount? What?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
What can I read a face story? Now? What? What
is the I'm tired. I'm gonna take a nap.