Breaking the Cycle: Holly Tucker on Shame, Healing, and the Joy of Surrender

In this honest and hope-filled conversation, Coach Alex sits down with Holly Tucker—faith-based health coach, trauma-informed nutritionist, and host of the Wholly Well podcast—for a deep dive into what it means to pursue wholeness over hustle in today’s wellness world.

Holly shares her personal journey through religious rigidity, chronic illness, and body shame, toward a grounded faith where healing flows from identity in Christ—not perfectionism. With wisdom rooted in Scripture, neuroscience, and lived experience, she exposes the dangers of spiritualized diet culture and invites listeners into a deeper, gentler view of health rooted in truth, not trends.

They explore the subtle idols of body image, the power of nervous system regulation, and the beauty of being Spirit-led in nutrition, movement, and life. Whether you’re burned out from “doing all the right things” or just yearning to honor your body as a temple without shame, this episode offers a new framework of grace, stewardship, and trust.

🔑 Main Discussion Themes

-Breaking free from hustle culture and religious performance
-What “wholeness” actually means—spiritually, mentally, and physically
-Body image, shame, and finding your worth in Christ alone
-How trauma and nervous system dysregulation impact health habits
-Holly’s personal health journey: from burnout to balance
-Redefining stewardship in the realm of food, fitness, and recovery
-Discernment in faith-based health spaces and social media

⏱️ Timestamped Episode Outline 
00:00 – 03:32 — Intro and heart behind the conversation
03:33 – 10:00 — Holly’s story: from disordered striving to divine surrender
10:01 – 16:45 — Understanding trauma and nervous system patterns
16:46 – 23:10 — What religious shame does to the body and spirit
23:11 – 29:40 — The difference between stewardship and striving
29:41 – 35:20 — Spirit-led habits and health rhythms
35:21 – 41:55 — Wholeness vs. wellness: reframing our pursuits
41:56 – 45:00 — How to discern healthy voices online
45:01 – End — Closing encouragements and “Train Hard. Pray Harder.”

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Connect with Holly Tucker - The Lies we believe about Joy! - Revelation Wellness

Train Hard. Pray Harder. 💪🙏

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Faithful Fitness Podcast. For my Dad, Coach
Alex van Houghten helps to get stronger and mind, body,
and spirit. He believes that your body is a temple,
so taking good care of it is an actual worship.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
I should know.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
I live with him every week. He brings truth from
the Bible too, of some science and stories that will
set your heart on fire. May God bless you to
become everything He made you to be, just one percent
better every single day.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Hey there, it's knocking out some dumbell pullovers. Welcome to
the Faithful Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, coach Alex van Houghten,
and I'm so glad you're here. Have you ever thought
of your body as a problem to be solved? That's
not the right way to think about it. Your body
is a temple of the Most High God, and that's
what me and Holly Tucker, our guests today, are talking about.

(00:53):
She is a trauma informed nutritionist who's walked the very
painful road of addiction, hookup culture, and religious shame. But
she found freedom through her fitness journey, in revelation, wellness,
and in her identity in Christ. I can't wait for
you to hear this conversation. It's amazing. I also want
you to jump into Better Daily Dot Live slash Devo

(01:16):
because our pre order for the Faithful Fitness.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Devotional is live now.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
You can get your pre signed copy reserved and join
us for the fall launch and the challenge. It's gonna
be amazing. It's a very powerful devotional designed over forty
days to help you reclaim your strength through mind, body
and spirit. That's Better Daily Dot Live Slash Devotional. Now,
let's jump into this conversation. I'm gonna jump into this

(01:44):
next set.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
What's up, guys.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
This is coach Alex van Houten on the Faithful Fitness Podcast.
I'm super excited about the conversation I'm going to have
with Holly Tucker today.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Holly, how are you doing today?

Speaker 4 (02:04):
Girl? I'm doing really good.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Pumped.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
You look bright eyed and bushy tailed. You just finished
the workout, didn't you?

Speaker 4 (02:10):
I did. I did, trying to release some stress naturally
by just getting in the sweat on and even if
it's five minutes, you gotta it helps so much.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, what's what is the official Holly Tucker pre podcast workout?

Speaker 2 (02:25):
If you don't mind me sharing?

Speaker 4 (02:26):
Okay, So it's actually how I got started with my
fitness journey through Revelation Wellness, which I'm pretty sure you've
heard of, and so I just I click on one
of those videos and I think it was Kara Osborne
it was that was the instructor, and it was talking

(02:47):
about how the heels move. So it wasn't just I mean,
it was definitely physical. We were doing like crossjacks and
we were doing gosh. I think it was mainly the
warm up that I did that I was so vigorously
trying to get my sweat out that I was like,
don jump in. Jackson's like, okay, Lord, okay, but yeah,

(03:08):
so lots of cardio this morning.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
That's a good way to get get out the jitters
or the wiggles. I actually teach teach my children to
do the same thing. So I've got I got two
boys nine and six years old, and when they have
this like anxious energy, it's not anxiety necessarily, it's just
like running around. I don't know what to do with myself,
so I'm going to do everything, and it's like, hey,
let's go run the block, let's go let's go do

(03:33):
some burpies. Let's go do some jumping jacks. Hey, how
many air squads can you do in one minute? And
by the time they're done with that, they're good, Like
they can they can handle life and stop driving their
mom nuts.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
It sounds like it works the same for you.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
Oh yeah, it does definitely. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
So this is going to be an awesome conversation because
today we're going to be talking about a number of things,
but one of those things being that you're on a
journey yourself, and I want to introduce you to our
listeners and then and then I have some questions to
dig into about the role that our body plays in
what you call the flesh project becoming our spirit project.

(04:09):
So I'm looking forward to that discussion, guys. Holly says that.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm so sorry. There we go.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Holly is an independent revelation wellness instructor in Winnatchi.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Did I say it right? Winnatchi, Washington? Okay.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
She's been married for two years now and is on
her own health and fitness journey. She's passionate about encouraging
others to stop neglecting and obsessing over their bodies instead
of embodying their faith as a whole person. Joy in
Motion is her ministry name, and her mission is to
encourage others to have joy in moving their bodies and

(04:47):
to find their ultimate joy and purpose in Jesus Christ. Now,
you use the word joy several times in your bio,
and I want to talk about that from a Christian perspective,
because if my listeners are Christians and they've been introduced
to anything in the New Testament, they've probably heard that
the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, goodness, faithfulness,

(05:07):
and self control depending on your translation. But joy's in there,
and enjoys not something that our culture differentiates from happiness, right,
Like the poster child version of joy is like I'm
on vacation and I'm so happy, and I'm with my
dolphin in catching him and very big smiles and everybody's

(05:30):
everybody's laughing.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
But that's not necessarily joy. And so given that joy.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Is part of the name of your ministry and something
that recurs in your bio, can you talk to me
about what joy means to you and how you came
to understand that as a Christian.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Yes, I can't. Actually, I'm really glad you asked that,
because that is my entire ministry. And I didn't even
know that was going to be my ministry until God
was like he gave me a revelation. He was like,
by the way, this is what I'm doing in your life.
So I'm just gonna start with this because I don't
know if you've heard of John Piper. Maybe you have.
He's a famous theologian. Yeah, but this is a quote

(06:12):
from him, and it's my favorite quote. So it is
actually one of my favorite quotes. I have many. But
love is the overflow of joy in God that meets
the needs of others. So love is the overjoy of God. Sorry,
love is the overflow, yeah, of joy in God that
meets the needs of others. So my passion actually let

(06:35):
me back up a little bit. So when I chose
Joy in Motion, I was talking to my sister about
coming up with a name for this ministry and I
was like, I'm sure I wanted it to sound cool,
and you know how that goes, And so I just
came up with joy in Motion somehow, I can't even
remember how right, and then nothing after becoming an independent

(06:57):
fitness instructor, nothing happened for like aye or actually a
little bit less than a year, and so God is
placing all of these little seeds of joy in my life,
teaching me about joy, teaching me where joy really comes from.
It's not about your body, it's not about what you

(07:17):
look like. It's not about the weight on the scale.
Right when you wake up in the morning and you
lose six tenths of a pound and you're like yes,
and you're so excited and you're happy, and you're like,
I lost six tents of a pound, and then it
like affects your entire day or your week. And then
you get back on the scale the next day because
I do, because I weigh myself every day, and you

(07:40):
gain two tenths of a pound, and you're like, you're crushed.
I know, I know. So that happened to me recently.
And so I was sitting on the couch. I weighed
myself and I lost some weight. Next day, I weighed myself,
gained some weight, was sitting on the couch, and that's
when it hit me. I realized, I am so Why

(08:04):
am I so downcast? Why am I so depressed? Right now?
That's how I feel. Why do I feel like my
entire day is ruined? Like everything. Emotionally, I just felt
so depressed and that inspired me. From that moment, I
was like, Okay, I need to what do I need
to do to fight for joy? What do I need

(08:25):
to do fight for joy? I need to get in
the word. And so I got in the word. And
because this is backtracking a little bit more, before I
was fighting for my joy and knew how to fight
for my joy. Doing Revelation Wellness taught me that my
worth and my value are not in my body, They're
not in my weight, and as well as my purpose

(08:48):
in life. My purpose in life was a huge thing
for me, Like I wanted to be a nurse, I
went to school, back and forth, okay, and I I
was struggling with my purpose as well as my weight.
And I realized doing these workouts, I was like crying
in these workouts that I was doing with Revelation Metless

(09:10):
And I'm like, this isn't normal. Why are you crying?
Why am I crying during a workout like I'm doing push?
Not because it was painful, like they're right over, I
just want this to be over. But it was like
so painful, like like emotionally, I was like being healed.
I was being do the scripture that they were pouring out.

(09:33):
They were telling me things that like, you're loved, get big,
get big, make yourself big, God sees you. You have
a song to sing another care of Osborne workout. I
have my favorite instructors. Right, So anyways, I I was like, okay,
so learning that, learning and pouring the word of God

(09:54):
into my mind. It was transforming me. It was transforming me.
And this is is just part of this is like
the end of my testimony really because yeah, I started
out from a very young age with food addiction and
a lot of my joy it came from food growing

(10:16):
up because I grew up without a dad in the
home and so I and I was a latch key kid.
So my mom was at work, I was going to school,
going home, taking care of myself essentially with my older siblings.
Obviously they were there too, but we were all just
kind of like doing crazy things like not even probably

(10:38):
appropriate to say, but so a lot of my joy
and everything I was surrounded by food a lot, and
my mom it was so important for her to know
that Jesus loved me, and so she instilled that in
my life. Think the Lord I got I had a
mom like that, and so so, yeah, so I grew

(11:00):
up really being addicted to food started at a young
age five, six seven years old. But I also had
some serious, like emotional problems as well, and I believe
I was I had suicidal thoughts at age seven, and
I remember being in my room and some of these

(11:21):
times I was probably actually in trouble and I was
just emotional. But yeah, I had this thought, this reoccurring
thought that no one loves you. You're not loved, and
that was super That was just in my life, like
all the time. And yeah, I was bullied a lot

(11:43):
as a kid, and the weight just kept escalating right
like exponentially. So by the time I was in high school,
I was three hundred and ten pounds my senior year
of high school. And then I got on the scale
and I had this moment where my something switched in
my brain where I was like, no, I'm done. I'm

(12:03):
just I'm done. And so I started losing weight, but
I didn't lose weight. It wasn't like the healthy way.
I was following all these fad diets and what I
really wanted was someone to love me. So I saw
I was losing weight and I started getting attention from guys,

(12:24):
even from just coworkers, like people, employers saw me differently,
treated me differently, And so it confirmed the lie that
I believed at a very young age that I'm not loved,
I'm not good enough unless I have this perfect body,
unless I'm skinny. It wasn't about health or anything like that.
It was just you're not a size two or three whatever,

(12:48):
then you can't play with us on the playground, you
know what I mean. And so that was that was
the lie I believed. And so I'm gonna grab a
drink really quick because I get really talk a lot.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well, and you just finished the workout, so you know,
dry mouth post workout and whatnot.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Story, thank you, coach. Uh so, so yeah, so I'm
at this point. I'm in I finished high school, barely
graduated because I was in a crowd that like accepted me, right,
And that's a huge problem. I think it's when you're
when you're a teenager and no one accepts you because

(13:28):
you're overweight, You're gonna go to the people, You're gonna
hang out with the people who accept you, right. And
so by the time I was I barely graduated high school.
I was going to college at to come a community
college for my nursing degree. Right, I was trying to
get my preres done, and I met this guy who

(13:49):
was eighteen years older than me, whoa teen years older
than me, and my mom yeah, she yeah, it was
more than whoa with her. She was like, oh, heck, no,
oh no, you are not about to abuse my baby.
You know what I mean in any way, you know,
because I was so young, I was barely eighteen, but

(14:11):
I was so hungry for love. I was so hungry
for some attention, for someone to look at me and
say I see you you. And so at that point
it got worse before it gets better, it got way worse.
And I'm going through I'm in my twenties. I start

(14:33):
meeting more people who were not the greatest crowd. You know.
My best friend ended up being somebody who was a
She did recreational drugs, and so I got into so
not only was I addicted to food, right, I started
getting obsessed with losing weight the unhealthy way, doing different

(14:55):
fad diets. Then I got addicted to drugs. Wow, and
really does come to steal, to kill, and to destroy? Right?
So yeah, and so and the whole time I believed
in Jesus like I knew who God was, right, I
was baptized at a young age, but I didn't really
live for Jesus. And so I'm dating throughout my twenties

(15:18):
all of these guys who in each relationship I'm in
failure after failure after failure, and I keep internalizing it
and internalizing it. And what's what's messed up is when
you believe a lie that Satan has planted at a
young age. Then when you lose weight, the world confirms

(15:38):
you and confirms the lie that you believed at a
young age. So it doesn't help, right, And so I believed, yep,
I'm might value my worth, my joy, everything in life
is only going to come from a man. And I
really like in my thin body right because I was
seeking for love. But when I didn't realize that, what

(16:01):
I know now is that I was seeking the love
of a father because I didn't have a consistent father
growing up. And I realized it was love of Jesus
that I was missing in my life. It was full
surrender to Jesus and his love as a father father

(16:22):
to the fatherless. And so before it gets really good,
I went, I was in a my final I guess
I call it my final bad relationship. And this was
I never told myself I was. I always told myself
sorry that I was. I was never going to do
hard drugs. I did recreational drugs. I you know, I partied,

(16:44):
I slept around a lot, and because I was looking
for love, right, I was using my body for that.
And I told myself was never going to do hard drugs.
But when the final relationship ended, because of a lot
of prayer, a lot of prayer from my mom, a
lot of prayer from people saying, Lord, she won't leave him,

(17:04):
make him leave her, make her and you, he did.
He ended up leaving me, and he was high on
heroin in his trailer. I was living with him at
the time, with his family. It was kind of like
a compound. It was kind of weird, but it wasn't
a cult. I swear, it was just the whole family
lived together. So I remember going over to his parents'

(17:27):
house across the way and I told his dad, I said,
your son is literally high on heroin right now in
the trailer, not one word from him, like it was
just like he didn't even hear me, And I think
the thing was it wasn't like I was. I was
trying to I was trying to catch him. I was
trying to, like say, look what he's doing. And I

(17:50):
don't know why. I don't know. I think it was
just I wanted to hang on to the relationship so badly.
And finally when he that was the point when he
was like, I can't believe you stayed with me this long. Yeah,
he said that to me, and then he was like
he broke up with me, and I was devastated. I

(18:11):
was so broken. My rock bottom basically was that. And
then I ended up moving in with friends and living
with friends, and then I started sleeping with some of
his friends. And then I started doing meth myself and
other things myself. And thank god, only for a short

(18:34):
amount of time. It wasn't years, wasn't drawn out. It
was only for like maybe a year. And I was
so broken. And then my sister, my best friend, Rachel,
she and her husband made good choices in their life.
Thank you Jesus. I'm so glad they did. And because
they were my anchor, and they let me move back

(18:54):
in with them and they let me, they let me
get they let me heal. You know, it wasn't like
and I was still struggling with getting off of drugs
and all of that and quitting smoking. Okay, So then
my mom is diagnosed with a terminal illness. My faith anchor,
the one person in my life who taught me about Jesus,

(19:18):
is dying. So I was like, okay. So I started
taking care of my mom because I was a CNA, right,
I'm a CNA, and so I was able to do that.
And then I lose my job at this bakery that
I was working at, and then I go to safe Way,
working at Safeway in Leavenworth, Washington, and I meet my

(19:42):
future husband. At the same time, my mom is dying,
all this pulmonary fibrosis, and at the time, I didn't
know what God was doing. I did not know before
I met him. I remember praying, all right, Lord, I'm
either done with men forever because of all of the

(20:03):
relationships I've been in. If I was Catholic, i'd be
a nun. But I'm done. I just went Jesus. And
so I started coming back to my faith as I
was taking care of my mom and she saw me
quit smoking, and I was, you know, losing all of
those drug addictions, but I started gaining back. So I

(20:24):
lost originally one hundred and sixty pounds. I told you
I was three hundred and ten pounds, lost one hundred
and pounds, started gaining back all of that really fast,
really fast after that last breakup and then I So
what happened was I meet this guy who I didn't
think anything of. I'm just a really friendly person, really bubbly,

(20:44):
and I was just like nice to him, and he
thought I was like hitting on him. I think like
flirting with him, you know what I mean. So, huh,
that's what happens to be careful girls, because just because
you're nice, you know, so sometimes it comes across differently.
But it was good for me because I got to
meet my husband. So yeah, So he was working at

(21:08):
Safeway and in the approachache department and I'm right next
to him. This is like God's sovereignty, seriously, because a
few years prior, when I was still doing still struggling
with drugs and stuff, I met him in a booth
at a restaurant. We had mutual friends. We were actually
in the same booth together, and before that, God, we

(21:32):
were in the same Vicinity at a Christian concert when
we were kids and didn't know it in Winnacui, Washington,
Wow and yeah, and so we didn't know. We didn't
remember each other from the booth, from the restaurant. And
he came over one day and was like, Hey, would
you like to go on a date with me? And
I was like sure, Okay, Yeah, I just said yes

(21:54):
because I have a hard time saying no, apparently, so
I was like, yeah, sure, you know. And part of
it really was because I knew he was a Christian.
Otherwise I wouldn't have done it because I've I've been
through so many bad relationships, right, So so yeah, so
I said yes, and then we went on a date
and I had all of these butterfly feelings. And but

(22:16):
what was weird was like I wasn't like, oh my gosh,
I'm in love with this guy because of his body.
I'm in love with this guy because he's so cool
love with It wasn't like that it was weird. It
was like, it's like, yeah, he's okay, he's all right.
He believes in Jesus. That's the most important thing, right,
and so, but he really liked me, and I was

(22:38):
back up to two hundred and something when he met me,
and I remember praying to God, God, I want to
meet a man who loves me for me, okay, so
that I know that was God? And so yeah, So
we went on a few dates and then my mom
got worse and I broke up with him. After we

(23:01):
made it official, I ended up breaking up with him
and saying, I can't do this right now. I can't
handle it, you know. And I wasn't I wouldn't say
fully surrendered to God yet, and I my mom passed away.
My husband now ended up showing up to the funeral,

(23:22):
and so he was always kind of there in the background,
being there. He was there for me. And then now
transitioning my mom passed away, my stepdad came back into
my life and started reading Scripture with me every day,
and if I couldn't do it every day, he was like,
let's just read one chapter. Let's just read this, because

(23:44):
when the person closest to you dies, you start questioning
your faith and you start shinning. Okay, is God real?
He has to be because if this is it, the
person you know is dead. God has to be real.
And so I struggled for a little bit, but my
stepdad helped me. And it was definitely through the word

(24:07):
of God. It was through the word of God pouring
the Word of God into my life that was slowly
changing me. And I remember we got married, everything's all happy,
We're good. I got married and then I started hearing
those lies again about my body, about my body image.
And I remember before I encountered revelation all lists or

(24:34):
anything like that, I was crying on my bed and
I was I was crying and I was like crying
out to Jesus and I was like, I'm done. I'm tired.
I'm tired of being overweight. I've lost so much weight
I gained all of it back. I had to do
it again, and so I hit I was broken. I

(24:55):
realized I'm broken. And then I found Kim Dolan Letto first.
So she did fit God's way and stuff. I don't
know if you know her, but she's It was pretty
cool to uh find her infro and get started on
on just learning about how God incorporates you know, how

(25:17):
how we're, how we're meant to be, just how or
who are who we are as as children of God.
And so I'm on that journey and then I hear
a podcast with Alisa Keaton on it, and then and
She's doing this whole revelation wellness thing, and then I
was like what, And so I started looking up on YouTube.
I was like looking up these videos and that's when
I noticed. I was like, something is weird about this.

(25:38):
It's good weird because I'm crying as I'm working out.
I don't even know. So I'm like, Okay, this is it.
I want to share it. I want to share it
so bad. And then I was struggling still with my
purpose in life too, going back to school, trying to
figure out what I wanted to do, and and I
was working as a medical assistant for a foot and
angle surgeon at the time, and I was like, uh,

(26:00):
I don't know if I really like this, you know
what I mean. So I'm back in school, then I
drop out, and then I'm like, I'm gonna go back later.
But I need to do this fitness thing. Something is
telling me that I need to become a fitness teacher
gospel preacher. And so when I decided to sign up,
I didn't have two grand in my pocket to just

(26:21):
do this, you know. So I was like, maybe there's
a scholarship or something that I can you know, so,
but no, it didn't work out. And I was like, Okay, God,
I feel like this is my purpose in life. I
feel like you just dropped this bowl of gold in
my lap, and it's like this, this is it's just
meant to be. I have to be a fitness teacher,

(26:43):
gospel preacher. So I ended up doing it. I talked
to my husband and he was like, okay, yeah, we
can do it. There was a payment plan and stuff.
So I did it and then I did the ten
I think it was like ten weeks, a ten week course,
really short. It was nice and and I did some
more healing in that and I remember during that time

(27:04):
they were doing a it's kind of like a party,
I guess you could say, at the end where you graduate.
And I remember having an image for the first time
of me. I see the cross in the background, right,
and I'm laying down. I'm standing there, and Jesus is

(27:25):
there but not on the cross, okay, and he's reaching
in grabbing my heart, taking it out the broken one,
laying laying it down. I'm laying it down at the
foot of the cross where the blood is flowing down
and the blood comes into the heart and then he
picks it up, he puts it back in me. That's

(27:47):
literally the image of a restored heart. And I was like,
oh my gosh. So that was like my I'm surrendering
to you moment. And then after that, I was like, Okay,
what what do I do with this fitness thing? And
uh so it, like I said, there was a huge

(28:10):
dry period there still kind of is where I'm just like,
I don't know what I'm doing reallyness with this thing.
But for a while there, I was trying to make
it more about me and trying to be like, yes,
I have a purpose now and yes, you know, but
it's not about that. And I learned that it's not
about that. It's about it's about Jesus. It's about us.

(28:30):
It's about what he did and what He's going to
do through me. And so that being said, I started
doing workouts in the park this summer and I was like, Okay,
I'm just gonna step out in faith and I'm gonna
just do some workouts in the park and the whole

(28:51):
joy thing. It's really coming full circle now because I
know that my my goal in life is to seek
my maximum amount of joy in Jesus, because joy really
isn't It doesn't mean happiness. It has nothing to do
with happiness. Happiness is an emotion and joy is something

(29:15):
that is because you're a spiritual being. It even says
in the Bible that God experiences these emotions, he experiences anger.
He experienced it in a spiritual body. He doesn't have
a physical body. And so learning that, I'm like, okay,
So I'm a physical spiritual being and my happiness, like

(29:36):
because I didn't get a promotion, okay for example, or
I didn't lose the six tenths of a pound, it's
okay because I can still have joy. Joy is a
choice and it's not easy. It's not It is a struggle,
and I have to fight for my joy every single day.
I do that through the word of God.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
I do that through the word of God. And so
I'm fighting for my joy in Him and I'm seeking
out full joy in Him. And it's it's not easy.
It's not because the world will tell you that your
joy is going on vacations, and your joy is, you know,
having all the toys and having the house and the
pool and whatever.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Your joy is vacation with dolphins.

Speaker 4 (30:24):
That's the I'm sorry, that's an accent.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
I don't know where that came from. So I want
to thank you so much for being so open and
honest about your testimony. It's a powerful testimony. You You
you have in uh in rare form. You've tied up
wrestling with the lack of the love of a father.
You've tied up the idea of searching for joy and

(30:53):
the wrong things, whether it's relationships that that aren't of God,
whether it's food addiction, whether it's even and drugs you have.
You have tied up grief and God's providence within within grief.
There and you've also tied in the the journey of
seeing that the physical body can be in service to

(31:16):
the spirit or can be its own conduit to idolatry,
which is which is you know, me using my body
in a way it was never meant to be used,
and and also being so focused on how it appears
and whether or not that's good and bad all that stuff,
and so so I just want to say thank you,
first of all for for being so truthful and.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Also honest in your testimony.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
I think it's a powerful and I think it speaks
deeply to a number of things that many of our
listeners have likely wrestled with or are currently wrestling with.
So I hope, I hope that resonates with them. I
want to I want to dive into a couple aspects
of what you spoke about, because because it's it's important.
So so you mentioned this, this difference between happiness and joy,

(31:59):
but I leave it's tied to what Jesus called the
Greatest two commandments. Right, So when the Pharisees are trying
to nail Jesus down, I think it's some.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Lawyer or whatever.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
They're like, hey, what's the greatest two commandments? And there's
like six hundred something commandments. So they're asking him a
no win question, right, because because if he identifies one
over all the others, it's like, well, what about don't
boil a baby goat and it's mother's milk or something
like that.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
You know it's there, It's in Leviticus. It's very funky anyway.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
So so Jesus replies to them, and he does so
as Jesus does in a way that shuts everybody up
because they don't want to ask him any more questions.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
They look stupid.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
He says, love the Lord your God, with all your heart,
with all your soul, with all your mind, and all
your strength. Right, And then he says, the second one
is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
The question is how is that like that? And the
answer is, actually in your story.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
If I am searching for love and I believe that
love comes to me in a way that it doesn't
actually right, believe that a guy loves me because I'm
fifty pounds lighter than I used to be, whatever, and
that's affirming to me, and my coworkers love me more,
and my siblings love me more, and my mom loves

(33:13):
me moor whatever.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
Like.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
If I believe that about love, what's interesting is I
will pour that love out to others. That's the law
that I will use to pour out to others. The
way that I experience and understand love is the love
that I will give to others.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
And it's a very strange thing.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
It's a very strange thing because if if my love
is not divinely inspired, then the same judgment I believe
that others are passing on me is the judgment I
will pass on them, even if I don't want to
write like, that's the thing I've been the fat girl
in my life quote unquote. Right, So I will try

(33:57):
really hard not to judge others that way, but because
that's always in my mind and heart, that's what's going
to come out, like, that's how I'm going to treat people.
That's how I'm going to affect people. It becomes a
mirror of the way I experience love. But your story
talks about how you found the love of the Father,
and the love of the Father isn't contingent on how

(34:17):
you operate the love of the Father because of Jesus.
The love of the Father is. I created you. I
know you, I knit you together in your mother's room.
I love you period.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
And I made a way for you to bridge the
gap when all your sins, so that MY love can
be poured out on you without without any obstructions.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
Right.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
If I know the love of the Father, then I
can love my neighbor as myself. If I can love
somebody else the way God loves me. It comes back
to your John Piper quote. It's an overflow.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
It's like, well, I can't help but love you God,
loves me so much.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
That I'm just gonna love you and it feel like
if you don't like it, you can go somewhere else.

Speaker 4 (34:57):
Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
Yeah, So it sounds like that translated to you starting
to work out in a park, right, So, like was
this a thing? You just go to a park and
start working out? Like, how how did this? How did
this happen for you?

Speaker 4 (35:10):
Pretty much? So it's only been like I think, I
think about a month. Maybe I remember my first workout
that I ever wanted to do didn't happen. I'm just
gonna say that now because I was sick and that's
what led to a lot of not doing anything right. So,
but yeah, so I work out in East Winatchi's across

(35:32):
the bridge, Okay, it's not too far away, at a
public park. And it came to me because I guess
my husband told me this. He said, you need to try,
you need to try, because I was about to give
up because I do struggle with that. I struggle with

(35:52):
it's not happening. It's not happening, and I don't know
how to make it happen. And it just came to
me and I was like I would remember some of
the instructors that I learned from were like I started
out in a park, and so I was like, okay.
So I started actually doing some research and I was
asking the park in Rex, and I was like, so
do I can I work out in the park like

(36:16):
with people?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Do I have?

Speaker 1 (36:18):
You? Like?

Speaker 4 (36:18):
How does this work? And so I remember I got
two different answers, one from the Winachi side saying, yeah,
you have to have like this business thing or whatever,
like a permit, and the other lady I talked to
was like, it's a park, it's free, go ahead, and
so I was like okay, So it's like, well, worst
thing that could happen. So I'm like going through all
of these like scenarios in my head, the worst case scenarios,

(36:41):
and and I was like, I'm just gonna do it,
and if they kick me out of the park whatever,
so I go, yep, yeah that's I was like, okay,
I'm trying not to be free to failure. And so
I created some flyers and this is probably because I
tend to I think I did this to myself. But
I only put out a few flyers, just a.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
Little so you don't bother anybody.

Speaker 4 (37:05):
Yeah really, yeah, I was like, you know, I don't
know where I can hang these up. You know. My
husband's like, just hang them on a post, hanging them on,
just hang them everywhere. I ended up hanging at like
one flyer and then I told my neighbor, and then
I told a couple other people who I knew, and
then I was like, okay, because in the back of

(37:26):
my mind, I'm like, this is this is weird. I
shouldn't be doing this or whatever. No one's gonna come
because I'm overweight. Still, I'm still on my journey. I've
lost like seventy pounds, but I'm still you know, cause
in my back of my head, I think I have
to be a certain size to do this wrong. You don't.
You don't. First of all, that's a lie. And so
I go and the only person who shows up only people.

(37:50):
Actually I shouldn't even say that, but whatever, my sister
and my mother in law. That was it. That was
my that was my those were my people. And I
was like, okay, huh, all right. But then something happened
where God planted this in my mind and he was
like do it again. And I was like, Okay, I'm

(38:10):
going to do it again. And so I was like,
instead of just doing it once, I'm going to do
a workout every Saturday. But I'm going to do the
same workout, so I'm not like stressed out about it. Right,
And the workout that I did, which is weird and
it has to it ties in with the joy thing
is I was like, Okay, I want to talk about

(38:33):
joy and happiness. I want to talk about the difference.
And it's the lies we believe about joy, the lies
we believe about joy. And the first time I did it,
I talked so much through it because of my nerves.
Even though it was just my sister and stuff that
I she was like giving me good criticism and I
was like, I was like, I don't know what to do.

(38:57):
And then I practiced and practiced at home, and the
Lord gave me so much joy that just and all
I did was I was I decided to change some
of my workout techniques. And I was like, Okay, I'm
not going to just talk to sistory. It's not go
doesn't have to be perfect, right, kind of like this interview.
It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to

(39:18):
be it's whatever. And so I was like, I'm just
gonna try to smile through this whole workout, and I'm
gonna see if I can get the people who are
doing it with me. Just my sister, by the way,
she was my only person. But that's okay because it
doesn't matter. Right. The point is being there, showing up

(39:38):
even when no one's there, and then eventually God might
place one person there who is like, who needs to
hear that message because we all have a story and
we all have some good stuff when we read the
word of God, right, and it's an overflow. So I
was doing this practice and I'm like smiling, and I'm like,

(39:59):
have you ever seen them show Friends?

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Yep?

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Okay, do you remember the episode where maybe you don't,
but it's pretty funny where Rachel and Phoebe were running
in the park And okay, I'm Phoebe. I'm Phoebe, so like,
and my sister is Rachel, yes, and literally her name
is Rachel. Yes, chel, but her name is Rachel's not

(40:23):
totally worked, but anyways, so yeah, and I'm like the
hippie I don't know anyways.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
So but you're.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
Smiling the whole time and you might even look silly
doing it, but everybody is interested in what you're up
to exactly.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
And and actually we did have some stairs we did.
We did, but that's okay. Maybe it planted a seed.
So I'm in my I keep looking over there because
I'm like, I'm looking at the spot where it happened,
where the Phoebe moment happened. So I'm like running, I'm
doing the workout, and I decided to do a Tobata
form workout because I was like, I really want to
get a cardio in and blah blah blah. Anyways, so

(40:57):
I I'm I'm like what I was I doing. I
was doing scissors, That's what I was doing. I was
doing scissors, and I was trying to find like a
modification form and also whatever and like just a regular form.
And the music is playing. It's joyful, and I just
start raising my hands up and I'm like, thank you
Jesus for my body and just it just it was

(41:20):
like the Holy Spirit came upon me and I was
just like this is it. And I started laughing, laughing, laughing.
I started laughing, and I was just like, oh my gosh,
and I was like I'm Phoebe. And then I just
started running, like my arms and I had the image
and I was I was so full of joy though,
and I was like, this is part of the point.

(41:41):
It's it's not about how I look. It's not about
how I look. And I don't care what people think of me.
I don't care if I breathe too hard. I don't
care anymore. It's like I'm supposed to breathe. It's called oxygen.
It's called oxygen. If you have a problem with that,
then I do you not breathe? Like? I don't know?
So so yeah, it's just that joy that you feel

(42:03):
when when you're working out, and I want other people
to experience that. I want people to be in their bodies,
not looking to the left or to the right and
looking at oh man, I don't look enough, or oh man,
I have this. It's like you're working out, not only
for a reason. Hello, like you're working out. You're no
condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, thank you
very much. Like you are you are doing it, And

(42:26):
so I get excited.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Sorry, I well, I had this.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
I had this picture in my mind of David doing
flips into the into Jerusalem while his wife's watching him.
With the ark of the covenant and she's like, you're
not behaving very kingly right now. And he's like, I'll
get even more undignified than this, Like I'm going to
do my flips. It's it's between me and God. You
can you can chill out. And then she was like
struck Barren or something like that. She didn't produce any

(42:51):
more children to take that. But but I will say
that that there's a first of all, I'm a dad.
I have a nine and a six year old. I
grew up without my dad in the home as well,
so we share that in our story. And one of
the things I've learned about the love of the father
and the spirit of the father. And I don't necessarily

(43:12):
mean big f father. I mean the thing that a
dad can do for us, our earthly fathers can do
for us, which is to speak into both lies, but
also to encourage.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
That's what fathers do.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
We encourage and Exhort encourage is like high five, great,
let's go. And Exhort's like a kick in the pants.
Like that's the difference between like kicking the pants. Sometimes
you need a kick in the pants. You're going the
wrong way, you go that way, yes, sir, and so.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
You go that way.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
But I do want to speak this over you, since
this is something that your dad got to speak over you,
and you can receive it or not, that's up to you.
But that said, I do want to speak over you
that God's strength is made perfect in your weakness. You
don't have to be at the end of your fitness
journey for other people to find themselves in a place where.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
They want to follow you. They want to be a
part of the joy.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
They want to see their bodies move well and then
and then to point in that direction. If anything, you
might actually be in a more powerful position than than
fitness influencers and stuff in our secular world, because everybody's
trying to look like the influencer instead of seeing who
God made them to be, right, And that's a that's
a huge deal.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
That's to say.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
If anything I would like to emulate, I would like
to emulate Holly's joy. I would like to understand how
God loves me that much.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
I would like to move.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
With so much freedom that I'm just happy about being
able to exercise, rather than going like, oh my god,
it's the workout today, you know, like, well this is
awful and everybody's watching me. It's like like Holly, Holly
could care less. So I'm gonna do that too. And
and that's like, that's such a powerful thing. So I
want to speak that over you. The God's strength has
made perfect in that weakness in you. And and I

(44:54):
also want to connect with you on this level.

Speaker 4 (44:56):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (44:57):
So I have I have a genetic a sort are
called Eeler's dan los. So much of my health and
fitness struggle. You can't tell my looking at me unless
I let that disease get the better of me, because
then I'd be hooked on pain pills on a couch somewhere,
because that's that's how people with this disease often often manifest.
On that front, it can easily be be guessed if

(45:21):
you meet me or something like, oh, that guy's in
great shape. It's easy for him to talk about nutrition,
it's easy for him to talk about exercise.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
It's easy for him.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
And because they just can't see my struggle. But in
your health and fitness journey, your struggle with wrestling with
finding love in the wrong places, and wrestling with your
weight and stuff, your struggle is something that somebody can
relate with. They can see like, oh man, she's not perfect.

(45:49):
I'm not perfect either, by the way, but she's not perfect.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
So so I am.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
More confident about coming into this practice without having to
be perfect. I think it's if you can bear that
burden well, because it is a burden. It's across to
carry for sure.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
But if you can do that.

Speaker 3 (46:08):
There is something amazing that can happen in the lives
of individuals that you can reach that other individuals in
the health and fitness world cannot reach. So so I
just want to speak those two things over you. I
believe there are two truths. I believe that's like, you
need to put out more flyers. You need to like
you need to. You need to every time you're at church,
you're like, Hey, I'm doing a christ centered workout in

(46:28):
the park this day. You should be there, not because
you're out of shape or anything, but because we're gonna
have fun and and.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
We're gonna you're gonna be in the joy of the Lord.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
There's gonna be a lot of the scripture there, like
just come for the show. Like if you're not gonna work,
you just like we're gonna you're gonna laugh.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Like while we're doing this thing and you.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
Can't help but get in right and and and don't
don't be afraid to invite people because at the at
the end of the day, Jesus was the perfect evangelist.
He never sinned, he was humble, it says uh, and
and that that he did every thing perfect. And yet
he and he invited a lot of people to follow him,

(47:05):
and many did not.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
He called it the narrow way.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
In fact, he was like, many will not follow this pathway,
but I'm inviting you, you know, and and so so
anyway that that said, I hope that's an encouragement to you.
I hope that you'll you'll continue on that because because
what I believe, Holly, is that you you seeking to
glorify God and your health and fitness journey is going

(47:29):
to be contagious. It's going to be something that that
people want to be a part of. And I want
to encourage you to do that and do it fully.
Don't don't don't like uh, maybe one fly er. I
don't want to bother abody. No, you bother everybody. You
bother everybody. You're coming to my park workout and you're
gonna like it. And and if they don't like it.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
That's on them.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
But but but they should come because it would be awesome.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
Thank you. I do receive that, I really do, and
I just that is super encouraging. Thank you. And I
I want to tell you one little thing too, that
so God put in my mind. I think it was
last week that because I was praying about it, like
a vision. Like I was like, Lord, I need a
vision because i don't know where this is going. And

(48:17):
I'm a part of the really big church and I
feel very small. But it's okay, and I'm starting to
be okay with that. I'm learning to be humble and
I'm learning that it's okay and nobody needs to see me.
And so I started, you know, volunteering at work and stuff,
and long story short, I was sitting at my table
and I was praying about it. So I was doing

(48:38):
a devotional and which is what I try to do
every day.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
And.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
I just saw myself doing a five k and I've
never done that before and it's only I think about
three point one miles from what yeah, from what I
looked up. And then God gave me a vision. He's like, Okay,
you're going to do a couch to five K event,
and you're going to ask all of the churches in
your city or the big ones anyways, And so I did.

(49:07):
I emailed all of them, my church, which I was
I thought would be most apprehensive about, saying yeah, let's
do it. Because the thing is is my vision wasn't
just let's do this five K event. It was the
whole you know, loving others. Right. So I I was like,

(49:31):
I want to charge people, and I want them to come,
and I want them to I want all of the
money to go to building gardens in our community, at
the church, at the Christian school, and I want to
the money to go to nourishing single home families. And

(49:53):
I want the money to go to families who don't
have the means to buy tools or rent tools to
maintain their yards or their house projects. And I just
had these ideas going through my mind, and I was like, huh,
what if? What if? What if? And I'm super scared.

(50:13):
I am super not into I'm not into it. I
don't want to do it, but I'm going to do it.
And I asked my uh, one of the one of
the church members, he's actually a pastor at the church.
He's also a fitness coach actually, and he's huge and
he is pretty awesome. And I texted him and I said, hey,

(50:36):
this is my vision. I have never done this before.
I want to give the proceeds to the church. Can
we do this? And he said, I love all of this.
And so I was like, okay, So we don't have
a date yet, and I still have to talk to
him about stuff and see what's going to happen. But
God's doing something there and I wanted to share that

(50:57):
with you because it's not just it is just like
just going out stepping out in faith and doing the
workouts in the park, for sure, but God's doing something
even bigger. And I just I just know that the
joy that I have in God, and just He's going
to use my weaknesses like you were saying. And and
we're going to do hopefully an event in Win actually

(51:18):
five k event, and it's going to go to nourishing
people and and uh, just helping people like me.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
And are you going to run like Phoebe in this
five k? Because if that's the that might need to
be the marketing poster.

Speaker 4 (51:36):
People do it, then just to watch right.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
Well and and and and because if I can run
a five k.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
You can run a five k, right, Like, that's that's
the message.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
And I say that very often in my own my
own practice, like, look, if I can do this, you
can do this. I know I look like I should
be able to do this, but but I wrestle with
pain every day. I wrestle with sublications every day. I
wrestle with you know, insert issue related to elers dailyss.
I wrestle with those things every day. So if I can,
you can definitely do this that that's that's huge, That's

(52:06):
an amazing mission. I'm really glad that that you shared
that with us.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
I had.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
I had a similar experience with regard to writing the
devotional that we're in the process of publishing for the
Faithful Fitness podcast. It's called Faithful Fitness, a forty day
devotional for Christian health and stewardship. And and I at
one point in my my journey, I was an atheist.
I would have told you God wasn't real, He's not there.
I wasn't a militant atheist. I didn't I didn't believe

(52:32):
that I needed to tear down other people's beliefs to
make me feel better about myself. I thought faith was
a beautiful, naive thing, and so so in my in
my world, it was like, well, I don't I don't
want to step anybody's toes. It would be awesome to
be trapped in some magical matrix where everything's great and joyful, right,
and and so so I remember when God laid this
on my heart. Later in my journey to write a devotion,

(52:53):
I'm like, that freaks me out, Like, how am I
supposed to tell people what to think and how to
feel about particular passages of Scripture? I'm going to try
to tie that to this, to this vanity laden area
of fitness in the in the world. It's so so
much secular stuff has been poured into that, like, like,
you really want me to do this?

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Really? I was terrified. I was like that that doesn't
make any sense.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
And and what's so interesting is every single step that
I took toward doing that grew me as a person
and increased the integrity of the end product. In the
same way, it sounds like God's laid a vision on
your heart.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Sorry, there's a wasp. Yeah, take that.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
God's laid vision on your heart that will challenge you
to become whom He made you to be. And I
would say that that's the interesting thing when we think
about like an event or a product or whatever that
that's on our heart to create or complete, it's it's
not necessarily the end goal that that God's after in

(54:01):
our heart and mind. For us, it's it's the process
of becoming who He made us to be. I think
about Moses right earning Bush tell fair to let my
people going. Yeah, it was important that the Israelites were
no longer in slavery, right, But but Moses had to
become the kind of man who could stand in front
of a desk spot and say, let let God's people go,

(54:22):
or there's gonna be frogs and you're gonna hate it.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Like that's that's really really.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Where we're at then, And and we see through Moses's
journey throughout Exodus that that he becomes the the person
who judges is reel. They come to him and and
and he has to, you know, deal with their disputes
and stuff. And then we we find that that that's
killing him. He's doing this all day long. And so
he's got to become the kind of man who can delegate.
Because Jethrow his his father in law's like, hey, you

(54:47):
keep doing this, you're not gonna make it like you
got to. You gotta fix your system here, and and
so he becomes that and and we see through Moses's
journey that yeah, the Promised Land is there, and that's
where he's headed. That's in your in your world, the
Promised Land is the event that funds the feeding of
single parent households with good quality produce in a nonprofit manner.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
That's so cool, right, that's that's big.

Speaker 3 (55:11):
But but Moses has to become the man every day
that that can lead the people to the Promise Land.
And in the same way, it sounds like you're you're
on a similar journey, Holly, that.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
That you have.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
You have a big you have a big vision, and
it's a wonderful thing. It's going to require a lot
of help from a lot of people. It's going to
require a lot of grace, a lot of joy.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
But the verse that comes to mind is I'm the vine.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
You are the branches. If you remain joined to me
and I to you, you will bear a lot of fruit.
You can't do anything apart from me. And so as
long as you're you're connected in the vine, and as
long as as you continue to follow His will, no
matter how weird it sounds, or no matter how scary
it is. In fact, is it not true that some
of the scariest things you've ever faced are exactly the

(55:57):
thing you need to step into.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
Have you found that to be true in you're w.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
Yeah, yeah, I did hear that. I wish it was
I wish it was easier and that. You know what
came to my mind is when you were talking about
vision for a second there it was I'm gonna see
I have my I write a lot. That's how I

(56:22):
let go of a lot of my emotions and how
I process things. And God has been giving me a
lot of like just images, you know, picture words and
stuff like that, and so he gave me one. It
is awful. I'm not I can't draw. I want you
to know that, but I'll try to show you. Let's see, Okay,

(56:47):
So there's a stick figure there, there's that's a light,
and that's hysteric and the rest is dark. Okay. So
God told me, you know, just through processing and stuff
that one step at a time, I'm going to trust
in Jesus to give to guide me up the staircase.

(57:09):
He's gonna let me stay on one step at a
time as long as I need to. He's gonna help
me get up with the strength of His Holy Spirit.
He shows me a glimpse of my purpose in him,
a light shining through the darkness, but not the whole
picture of the staircase. Otherwise I will raise to the

(57:32):
top or not and go the other way. You're like, Nope,
not doing that and not learn anything at all. I'm
gonna miss what he has to show me on each step,
even though it's really scary. And that is where growth happens.
Just like physically, I'm learning. You grow muscles because you

(57:55):
tear them. You tear them, you're strengthening your body. It
takes work to strengthen your body, takes work to lose
the weight, and it takes work to lose the weight
that's on your heart, that's on your heart. And even
when this, even when this, the the scale doesn't match
what you want it to. I can say this because

(58:18):
I've lived it and I live it now. Is a
head of brain furt But that's okay. That happens to
me alive. I got so much going on up in there,
but it's yeah, it's I'll go back to the staircase.
But uh yeah, so I.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Want to pause you. I have a buddy of mine.
He's such a cool guy. He was he was addicted
to methamphetamines for eight years of his life. It ruined everything.
He ended up in jail and all sorts of stuff.
But now he's like, he's like a hardcore evangelist. It's
amazing and he's very gifted. But every once in a
while he'll pause for a second. He'll go, dang it,
that's the drugs. I don't know what I just said.

(59:01):
It's so funny because he's so real about it. He's
like he's like, well, there was something that was switched
in there, but it's not anymore.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (59:08):
I've had those thoughts where I was like, Okay, I
wonder how much was damaged. But then I was like, okay,
but God could totally restore.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Right, and he has obviously.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Otherwise, you're having a great comra Oh my gosh, with
a big smile on your face. But I do want
to before we run out of time here, I do
want to invite thank you for sharing the image of
the staircase. It brought to mind Psalms one, nineteen one
oh five. That word is a lamp into my feet
and a light into my path. The idea that if
I'm walking through a dark woods and I have a lamp,

(59:38):
what can I see? Only the next step in front
of me. That's it, That's all I can see. I
can't see beyond that. I just have to keep making
that step. But I did want to invite if there's
anybody local to you listening, you have a workout at
the park, can you give us the details of how
to join you in the workout at the park.

Speaker 4 (59:55):
Sure. Yeah. I'm on Revolution Wellness because I'm an independent
instructor through them. So you can go to Revelation Wellness
dot org and you can look up instructor or you
can even actually google it if you Google looking for
an instructor, you know, through Revelation Wellness when actually Washington,
then they can find me there and then I'll have it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
We'll actually drop that link in the show notes below too,
So so if you can google that, great, But otherwise
you can also just click the link.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
Yes and yeah, and then I'll just be posting all
of my future classes there whether and you know what,
don't be afraid to come, because they're most likely it
will just be me being Phoebe in the park.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
No, no, I will.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
If you're afraid, you definitely need to come. That's that's
kind of the point this whole conversation. If you're afraid, great,
now get over here, like because because yeah, do it?

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Just just just come hang out with Well.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
I don't want to call you Phoebe because the internet
is going to be like, she's not pheeby. Yes, that's
she's Holly. But come work out because because when you're
afraid of something, it's a decent indication that it's the
right thing to be up to.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
And God hasn't given you a spirit of fear.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
He's given us a spirit of courage, strength and a
sound mind that's in Timothy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
And so when when you feel fear.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
It's not like you're not going to be afraid, it's
that you grow, you become something that's not afraid of
that thing anymore by facing it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
Yes, yes, for sure, yep, so yeah, yeah, right now
they can come every Saturday morning at eight o'clock. That's
where I'm going to be cool. I do have those
classes posted, but they could just show up at Eastmont
Park and I'll be there and then God put it
on my heart to do just to do two more

(01:01:43):
during the week. So I'm just going to keep adding
classes at different times, you know, because I know everybody
has they have a different different schedules, right, and so
not everyone's going to come to my eight o'clock class,
but that's okay. So yeah, so come, and I want
people to come. I want people to experience true joy,
lasting joy. I want people to literally live out and

(01:02:06):
embody joy so that they can live their lives and
not be stuck on the couch thinking when is life
gonna happen for me? Or I have to be a
certain size in order to live in my life. And
my purpose is only in my job. It's not, it's not.
Your purpose is a child of God. First of all.

(01:02:26):
If you're in Christ, you're a child of God. That
is it, period. And everything else is just a get to.
Movement is a get to. And I'm learning that through
my fitness journey. Is there's people out there who don't
who don't get to move and who are in pain
like you were saying, and I want to do that.

(01:02:48):
I want to I want to obey God's Word, and
I want to because he's my joy, because he's my joy,
because he gives me everything. Because I've been through it,
I've been through all of it. I know that there
is no joy in in just a relationship with someone.
Relationships are good, but that's not everything. And so yeah,

(01:03:10):
I want I just want people to know that. I
want people to know that that that you're loved, that
you are complete, and everything you need is found in
the Word of God and through relationship with Jesus Christ,
and everything else is secondary.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
So yeah, so as we close here, I'd love to
pray over you and your endeavors.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
I also I pray over households to what's your husband's name?

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
His name is he's actually getting ready for work. His
name is Steve Tucker Cool.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
I'm going to pray over him too, then if you
wouldn't mind, That's how we're going to close down today.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Is that all right?

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
Yeah? It sounds good.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
Father God, thank you so much for the opportunity to
sit down with Holly today. Thank you for the good
work that you've done in her life. And thank you
for Christ who washes over our sins when we make
him lord of our life. We believe in our heart
that he risen from the dead and we walk with
him daily. Got to pray that you'll bless Holly in
her journey to become a disciple who bears good fruit.

(01:04:09):
I also pray Lord that you'll bless her in her
her workouts at the park. I pray that others see
it and want to be a part of it. I
also pray Lord that you'll bless her big vision to
have a five K that unites her community and that
puts resources in the hands of those who can make
a difference in the lives of the hungry. I pray
Lord that it's more than just feeding bellies, but it

(01:04:32):
also feeds souls, brings people together and glorifies you. Got
to pray your favor and blessing on her household, that
her and Steve have an awesome, awesome time being married
and seeking after you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
We love you, Lord in Jesus' name.

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
Amen, HOLLI thank you so much for joining me and
to our viewers and listeners guys, As then coach Alex
Van Houghton on the Faithful Fitness podcast, you guys know
what I'm going to say next.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
Until next time, train hard, but pray harder.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Hey, if this episode helps you, jaret with someone who
needs to hear it, and don't forget to subscribe and
leave us a raving review so more people can find
faithful fitness. Oh and my dad's new devotional is almost
out now. You can grab a copy for yourself and
then join our free community at Better Daily by clicking

(01:05:30):
on the links in the show notes below. We all
have a cross to carry, but it's lighter when we
do it together, so check out both links and the
show notes. Don't be a big well Bob, just do
it until next time. Don't forget, Train hard and pray
even harder.