August 19, 2025 • 50 mins
04 - Section 04. Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland.
This book has been notorious since it first appeared and had been banned several times and in several countries. It is a fictional work that details the adventures of an orphaned girl who ends up working in a brothel in London. Early on she falls in love with a young man named Charles, but only to end up being separated from him. She then recounts her experiences as a prostitute who, in spite of her circumstances, manages to retain her humanity and undying faith in true love.
⚠️If you find insult/get offended or are against extreme descriptions of sexual acts PUT THE BOOK DOWN⚠️
This book has been notorious since it first appeared and had been banned several times and in several countries. It is a fictional work that details the adventures of an orphaned girl who ends up working in a brothel in London. Early on she falls in love with a young man named Charles, but only to end up being separated from him. She then recounts her experiences as a prostitute who, in spite of her circumstances, manages to retain her humanity and undying faith in true love.
⚠️If you find insult/get offended or are against extreme descriptions of sexual acts PUT THE BOOK DOWN⚠️
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Section four of Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. This
LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Memoirs of a
Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland let her the first
part four. I had it now, I felt it now,
(00:20):
and beginning to drive, he soon gave nature such a
powerful summons down to her favorite quarters, that she could
no longer refuse repairing hither. All my animal spirits then
rushed mechanically to that center of attraction, and presently inly
warmed and stirred, as I was beyond bearing, I lost
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all restraint, and, yielding to the force of the emotion,
gave down, as mere woman those effusions of pleasure which,
in the strictness of still faithful love I could have
wished to have kept in Yet, Oh, what an immense
difference did I I feel between this impression of a
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pleasure merely animal and struck out of the collision of
the sexes by a passive bodily effect, from that sweet fury,
that rage of active delight which crowns the enjoyments of
a mutual love, passion where two hearts tenderly and truly
united club to exalt the joy and give it a
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spirit and soul that bids defiance to that end which
mere momentary desires generally termine it in when they die
of a surfeit of satisfaction. Mister h, whom no distinctions
of that sort seemed to disturb scarce, gave himself or
me breathing time from the last encounter. But as if
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he had tasked himself to prove that the appearances of
his vigor were not signs hung out in vain, in
a few minutes he was in a condition for renewing
the onset to which, preluding with a storm of kisses,
he drove the same courses before with unabated fervor, and thus,
in repeated engagements, kept me constantly in exercise till dawn
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of morning, in all which time he made me fully
sensible of the virtues of his firm texture of limbs,
his square shoulders, broad chest, compact hard muscles, in short,
a system of manliness that might pass for no bad
image of our ancient sturdy barrens, whose race is now
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so thoroughly refined and frittered away into the more delicate
and modern built frame of our papt nerved softlings, who
are as pale as pretty and almost as masculine as
their sisters. Mister H content, however, with having the day
break upon his triumphs resigned me up to the refreshment
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of arrest we both wanted, and we soon dropped into
a profound sleep. Though he was some time awake before me.
Yet did he not offered to disturb a repose he
had given me so much occasion for. But on my
first steering, which was not till past ten o'clock, I
was obliged to endure one more trial of his manhood.
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About eleven in came Missus Jones, with two basins of
the richest soup, which her experience in these matters had
moved her to prepare. I pass over the fulsome compliments
the cant of the decent procurreus, with which she saluted
us both. But though my blood rose at the sight
of her, I suppressed my emotions and gave all my
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concern to reflections on what would be the consequence of
this new engagement. But mister H, who penetrated my uneasiness,
did not long suffer me to languish under it. He
acquainted me that, having taken a solid sincere affection to me,
he would begin by giving me one leading mark of it,
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by removing me out of a house which must, for
many reasons be irksome and disagreeable to me, into convenient lodgings,
where he would take all imaginable care of me, and
desiring me not to have any explanations with my landlady
or be impatient till he returned. He dressed and went out,
having left me a purse with two and twenty guineas
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in it, being all he had about him, as he
expressed it, to keep my pocket till further supplies. As
soon as he was gone, I felt the usual consequence
of the first launch into vice, for my love attachment
to Charles never appeared to me in that light. I
was instantly borne away down the stream, without making back
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to the shore, my dreadful necessities, my gratitude, and above all,
to say, the plain truth, the dissipation and diversion I
began to find in this new acquaintance from the black
corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to ever
since the absence of my dear Charles concurred to stun
all contrary reflections. If I now thought of my first,
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my only charmer. It was still with the tenderness and
regret of the fondest love, embittered with a consciousness that
I was no longer worthy of him. I could have
begged my bread with him all over the world, but
wretch that I was, I had neither the virtue nor
courage requisite not to outlive my separation from him. Yet
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had not my heart been thus pre engaged, mister h
might probably have been the sole master of it, But
the place was full, and the force of conjectures alone
had made him the possessor of my person, the charms
of which had by the bye been his sole object
and passion, and were of course no foundation for a
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love either very delicate or very durable. He did not
return till six in the evening to take me away
to my new lodgings, and my movables, being soon passed
and conveyed into a Hackney coach. It cost me but
little regret to take my leave of a landlady whom
I thought I had so much reason not to be
over pleased with, And as for her part, she made
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no other difference to my staying or going. But was
that of the prophet created. We soon got to the
appointed house for me, which was that of a plain tradesman, who,
on the score of interest, was entirely at mister H's devotion,
and who let him the first floor, very genteely furnished
for two guineas a week, of which I was in
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stated mistress, with a maid to attend me. He stayed
with me that evening, and we had a supper from
a neighboring tavern, after which and a gay glass or two,
the maid put me to bed. Mister H soon followed,
and notwithstanding the fatigues of the preceding night, I found
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no quarter, no remission from him. He piqued himself, as
he told me on doing the honors of my new apartment.
The morning, being pretty well advanced, we got to breakfast,
and the ice now broke my heart. No longer engrossed
by love, began to take ease and to please itself
with such trifles as mister H's liberal liking led him
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to make his court to the usual vanity of our sex. Silks, laces,
ear rings, pearl necklace, gold watch. In short, all the
trinkets and articles of dress were lavishly heaped upon me,
the sense of which, if it did not create returns
of love forced a kind of grateful fondness, something like love.
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A distinction, it would be spoiling the pleasure of nine
tenths of the keepers in the town to make And
is I suppose, the very good reason why so few
of them ever do make it. I was now established
the kept mistress, in form, well lodged, with a very
sufficient allowance and light, with all the luster of dress.
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Mister H continued kind and tender to me. Yet with
all this I was far from happy, for besides my
regret for my dear youth, which, though often suspended or diverted,
still returned upon me in certain melancholic moments with redoubled violences.
I wanted more society, more dissipation. As to mister H,
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he was so much my superior in every sense that
I felt it too much to the disadvantage of the
gratitude I owed him. Thus he gained my esteem, though
he could not raise my taste. I was qualified for
no sort of conversation with him except one sort, and
that is a satisfaction which leaves tiresome intervals if not
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filled up by love or other amusements. Mister H so experienced,
so learned in the ways of women, numbers of whom
had passed through his hands. Doubtless soon perceived this uneasiness, and,
without approving or liking me, the better for it, had
the complaisance to indulge me. He made suppers at my lodgings,
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where he brought several companions of his pleasures with their mistresses.
And by this means I got into a circle of
acquaintance that soon stripped me of all the remains of
bashfulness and modesty which might be yet left of my
country education, and were to a just taste perhaps the
greatest of my charms. We visited one another in form
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and mimicked, as near as we could, all the miseries,
the follies, and impertinences of the women of quality, in
the round of which they trifle away their time, without
its ever entering into their little heads. That on earth
there cannot subsist anything more silly, more flat, more insipid,
and worthless than generally considered their system of life. Is
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they ought to treat the men their tyrants, indeed, were
they to condemn them to it. But though amongst the
kept mistresses, and I was now acquainted with a good
many besides some useful matrons who lived by their connections
with them, I hardly knew one that did not perfectly
detest her keeper, and of course made little or no
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scruple of any infidelity she could safely accomplish. I had
still no notion of wronging mine, for besides that, no
mark of jealousy on his side started me the hint
or gave me the provocation to play him a trick
of that sort, and that his constant generosity, politeness, and
tender attentions to please me forced a regard to him that,
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without affecting my heart, insured him my fidelity. No object
had yet presented that could overcome the habitual liking I
had contracted for him, and I was on the eve
of obtaining from the movements of his own voluntary generosity
a modest provision for life when an accident happened which
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broke all the measures he had resolved upon in my favor.
I had now lived near seven months with mister h
when one day, returning to my lodgings from a visit
in the neighborhood where I used to stay longer, I
found the street door open and the maid of the
house standing at it talking with some of her acquaintances,
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so that I came in without knocking, and as I
passed by, she told me mister h was above. I
stepped up stairs into my own bed chamber with no
other thought than of pulling off my hat, et cetera,
and then to wait upon him in the dining room,
into which my bed chamber had a door, As is
common enough, whilst I was untying my hat strings, I
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fancied I heard my maid Hannah's voice and a sort
of tussle, which, raising my curiosity, I stole softly to
the door, where or not in the wood had been
slipped out, and afore ordered a very commanding people to
the scene. Then in agitation, the actors of which had
been too earnestly employed to hear my opening of my
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own door from the landing place of the stairs into
my bed chamber. The first sight that struck me was
mister h pulling and hauling this coarse country strambled towards
a couch that stood in a corner of the dining room,
to which the girl made only a sort of awkward
boidening resistance, crying out so loud that I, who listened
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at the door, could Scarce hear her pray, sir, don't
let me alone. I am not for your turn. You
cannot sure demean yourself with such a poor body as
I Lord, Sir, my mistress may come home, I must not. Indeed,
I will cry out. All of which did not hinder
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her from insensibly suffering herself to be brought to the
foot of the couch, upon which a push of no
mighty violence served to give her a very easy fall.
And my gentleman, having got up his hands to the
stronghold of her virtue, she no doubt thought it was
time to give up the argument, and that all further
defense would be in vain. And he, throwing her petticoats
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over her face, which was now as red as scarlet,
discovered a pair of stout, plump, substantial thighs, and tolerably white.
He mounted them round his hips, and, coming out with
his drawn weapon, stuck it in the cloven spot, where
he seemed to find a less difficult entrance than perhaps
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he had flattered himself with. For by the way this
blouse had left her place in the country for a bastard,
And indeed all his motions showed he was lodged pretty
much at large. After he had done his Dearie gets up,
drops her petticoats down, and smooths her apron and handkerchief.
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Mister h looked a little silly, and taking out some money,
gave it her with an air indifferent enough, bidding her
be a good girl and say nothing. Had I loved
this man, it was not in nature for me to
have had patience to see the whole scene through. I
should have broke in and played the jealous princess with
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a vengeance. But that was not the case. My pride
alone was hurt, my heart not, and I could easier
win upon myself to see how far he would go
till I had no uncertainty upon my conscience. The least
delicate of all affairs of this sort. Being now over,
I retired softly into my closet, where I began to
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consider what I should do. My first scheme, naturally, was
to rush in and upbraid them. This indeed flattered my
present emotions and vexations, as it would have given immediate
vent to them. But on second thoughts, not being so
clear as to the consequences to be apprehended from such
a step, I began to die, whether it was not
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better to dissemble my discovery till a safer season, when
mister h should have perfected the settlement he had made
overtures to me of and which I was not to
think such a violent explanation, as I was indeed not
equal to the management of could possibly forward and might destroy.
On the other hand, the provocation seemed too gross, too flagrant,
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not to give me some thoughts of revenge, the very
start of which idea restored me to perfect composure, and
delighted as I was, with the confused plan of it
in my head, I was easily mistress enough of myself
to support the part of ignorance I had prescribed to myself.
And as all this circle of reflections was instantly over,
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I stole a tiptoe to the passage door, and opening
it with a noise passed for having that moment come home.
And after a short pause, as if to pull off
my things, I opened the door into the dining room,
where I found the dowdy blowing the fire, and my
faithful shepherd walking about the room and whistling, as cool
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and unconcerned, as if nothing had happened. I think, however,
he had not much to brag off, having out dissembled me,
For I kept up nobly the character of our sex
for art, and went up to him with the same
air of frankness as I ever received him. He stayed
but a little while, made some excuse for not being
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able to stay the evening with me, and went out.
As for the Wench, she was now spoiled, at least
for my servant, and scarce eight and forty hours were
gone round before her insolence on what had passed between
mister H and her gave me so fair an occasion
to turn her away at a minute's warning that not
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to have done it would have been the wonder so
that he could neither disapprove it, nor find it in
the least reason to suspect my original motive. What became
of her afterwards, I know not, but generous as mister
H was, he undoubtedly made her amends, though I dare
answer that he kept up no farther commerce with her
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of that sort, as his stooping to such a coarse
morsel was only a sudden sally of lust on seeing
a wholesome looking buxom country wench, and no more strange
than hunger, or even a whimsical appetite making a fling
meal of a neck beef for a change of diet.
Had I considered this escapade of mister H in no
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more than that light, and contented myself with turning away
the wench, I had thought and acted right, but flushed
as I was, with imaginary wrongs. I should have held
mister H to have been cheaply off if I had
not pushed my revenge farther and repaid him as exactly
as I could for the soul of me in the
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same coin. Nor was this worthy act of justice long delayed?
I had it too much at heart. Mister H had
about a fortnight before taken into his service a tenant's
son just come out of the country, a very handsome
young lad scarce turned of nineteen, fresh as a rose,
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well shaped and clever limbed. In short, a very good
excuse for any woman's liking, even though revenge had been
out of the question. Any woman, I say, who was
disprejudiced and had wit and spirit enough to prefer a
point of pleasure to a point of pride. Mister H
had clapped a livery upon him, and his chief employ
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was after being shown my lodgings to bring and carry
letters or messages between his master and me. And as
the situation of all kept ladies is not the fittest
to inspire respect even to the meanest of mankind, and
perhaps less of it from the most ignorant, I could
not help observing that this lad who was, I suppose,
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acquainted with my relation to his master by his fellow servants,
used to eye me in that bashful, confused way, more expressive,
more moving, and readier catched at by our sex than
any other declarations. Whatever my figure had, it seems struck him.
And modest and innocent as he was, he did not
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himself know that the pleasure he took in looking at
me was love or desire. But his eyes, naturally wanton
and now inflamed with passion, spoke a great deal more
than he durst have imagined they did. Yet here too, indeed,
I had only taken notice of the comeliness of the youth.
But without the least design, my pride alone would have
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guarded me from a thought that way, had not mister
H's condescension with my maid, where there was not half
the temptation in point of person set me a dangerous example.
But now I began to look on this stripling as
every way a delicious instrument of my designed retaliation upon
mister h of an obligation for which I should have
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made a conscience to die in his debt, in order
then to pave the way for the accomplishment of my scheme.
For two or three times that the young fellow came
to me with messages, I managed so as without affectation,
to have him admitted to my bedside, or brought to
me at my toilet where I was dressing, and by
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carelessly showing or letting him see as if without meaning
or design, Sometimes my bosom rather more bare than it
should be. Sometimes my hair, of which I had a
very fine head, in the natural flow of it while combing,
sometimes a neat leg that had unfortunately slipped its carter,
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which I made no scruple of tying before him, easily
gave him the impressions favorable to my purpose, which I
could perceive to sparkle in his eyes and glow in
his cheeks. Then certain slight squeezes by the hand as
I took letters from him, did his business completely. When
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I saw him thus moved and fired for my purpose,
I inflamed him yet more by asking him several leading questions,
such as, had he a mistress, was she prettier than me?
Could he love such a one as I was? And
the like, to all which the blushing simpleton answered to
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my wish in a strain of perfect nature, perfect undebauched innocence,
but with all the awkwardness and simplicity of country breeding.
When I thought I had sufficiently ripened him for the
laudable point I had in view one day that I
expected him at a particular hour, I took care to
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have the coast clear for the reception I designed him,
And as I laid it, he came to the dining
room door, tapped at it, and, on my bidding him
come in, he did so, and shut the door after him.
I desired him then to bolt it on the inside,
pretending it would not otherwise keep shut. I was then
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lying at length upon that very couch, the scene of
mister H's polite joys in an undress, which was all
the art of negligence, flowing loose and in amost tempting disorder,
No stay, no hoop, no encumbrance whatever. On the other hand,
he stood at a little distance that gave me a
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full view of the fine, featured, shapely healthy country lad,
breathing the sweets of fresh blooming youth. His hair, which
was of a perfect shining black, played to his face
in natural side curls, and was set out with a
small tuck up behind new buckskin breeches that, clipping close,
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showed the shape of a plump, well made thigh, white stockings,
garter laced livery shoulder, not altogether composed, a figure of
pure flesh and blood, and appeared under no disgrace from
the lowness of address to which a certain spruce neatness
seems peculiarly fitted. I bid him come towards me and
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give me his letter, at the same time, throwing down
carelessly a book I had in my hands. He colored
and came within reach of delivering me the letter, which
he held out awkwardly enough for me to take. With
his eyes riveted on my bosom, which was, through the
designed disorder of my handkerchief, sufficiently bare and rather shaded
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than hid. I, smiling in his face, took the letter, and, immediately,
catching gently hold of his shirt sleeve, drew him towards me.
Blushing and almost trembling. For surely his extreme bashfulness an
utter inexperience, called for at least all the advances to
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encourage him. His body was now conveniently inclined towards me,
and just softly chucking his smooth, beardless chin, I asked
him if he was afraid of a lady, And with
that look, and carrying his hand to my breasts, I
pressed it tenderly to them. They were now finely furnished
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and raised in flesh, so that, panting with desire, they
rose and fell in quick heaves under his touch. At
this the boy's eyes began to lighten with all the
fires of inflamed nature, and his cheeks flushed with a
deep scarlet tongue tied with joy, rapture, and bashfulness. He
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could not speak, but then his looks his emotion sufficient
gently satisfied me that my train had taken and that
I had no disappointment to fear. My lips, which I
threw in his way so as that he could not
escape kissing them, fixed fired and emboldened him. And now
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glancing my eyes towards that part of his dress which
covered the essential object of enjoyment, I plainly discovered the
swell and commotion there, And as I was now too
far advanced to stop in so fair a way, and
was indeed no longer able to contain myself or wait
the slower progress of his maiden bashfulness, for such it seemed,
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and really was, I stole my hand upon his thighs down,
one of which I could both see and feel, a stiff,
hard body, confined by his breeches, that my fingers could
discover no end to curious, then, and eager to unfold
so alarming a mystery, playing as it were, with his buttons,
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which were bursting ripe from the active force within those
of his waist bed, and foreflap flew open at a touch.
When out it started, and now disengaged from the shirt,
I saw, with wonder and surprise, what not the plaything
of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but
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a maypole of so enormous a standard that, had proportions
been observed, it must have belonged to a young giant.
Yet I could not, without pleasure behold, and even ventured
to feel such a length, such a breath of animated ivory,
perfectly well turned and fashioned. The proud stiffness of which
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distended its skin, whose smooth, polish and velvet softness might
flye with that of the most delicate of our sex,
and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off
by a sprout of black curt hair round the root,
Through the jetty springs of which the fair skin showed,
as in a fine evening, you may have remarked the
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clear light either through the branchwork of distant trees overtopping
the summit of a hill. Then the broad and bluish
cast it incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of
its veins, altogether composed the most striking assemblage of figure
and colors in nature. In short, it stood an object
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of terror and delight. But what was yet more surprising
the owner of this natural curiosity, through the want of occasions,
in the strictness of his home, breeding, and the little
time he had been in town not having afforded him
one was hit. Hereto an absolute stranger in practice, at
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least to the use of all that manhood he was
so nobly stocked with. And it now fell to my
lot to stand his first trial of it. If I
could resolve to run the risks of its disproportion to
that tender part of me, which such an oversized machine
was very fit to lay in ruins. But it was
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now of the latest to deliberate, for by this time
the young fellow overheated with the present objects and too
high metal to be longer curved in by that modesty
and awe which had hit hereto restrained him, ventured under
the stronger impulse and instructive promptorship of nature alone, to
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slip his hands trembling with eager, impetuous desires under my petticoats,
and see, I suppose nothing extremely severe in my looks
to stop or dash him. He feels out and seizes
gently the center swat of his orders. Oh, then the
fiery touch of his fingers determines me, and my fears
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melting away before the glowing, intolerable heat, My thighs disclosed
of themselves and yield all liberty to his hand. And
now a favorable movement, giving my petticoats a toss. The
avenue lay too fair, too open to be missed. He
is now upon me. I had placed myself with a
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jet under him, as commodious and open as possible to
his attempts, which were untoward enough for his machine, meeting
with no inlet, bore and bantered stiffly against me in
random pushes, now above, now below, now beside his point,
till burning with impatience from its irritating touches, I guided
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gently with my hand this furious engine to where my
young novice was now to be taught his first lesson
of pleasure. Thus he nicked at length the warm and
insufficient orifice, but he was made to find no breach impracticable,
and mine, though so often entered, was still far from
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wide enough to take him easily in by my direction. However,
the head of his unwieldy machine was so critically pointed that,
feeling him fortright against the tender opening, a favorable motion
from me met his timely thrust, by which the lips
of it strenuously dilated, gave way to his thus assisted impetuosity,
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so that we might both feel that he had gained
a lodgment. Pursuing then his point, he soon, by violent
and to me most painful, piercing thrusts, wedges himself at
length so far in as to be now tolerably secure
of his entrance. Here he stuck, and I now felt
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such a mixture of pleasure and pain, And as there
is no giving a definition of I dreaded alike his
splitting me farther up or his withdrawing, I could not
bear either to keep or part with him. The sense
of pain, however, prevailing from his prodigious size and stiffness
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acting upon me in those continued rapid thrusts with which
he furiously pursued his penetration, made me cry out gently,
oh my dear, you hurt me. This was enough to
check the tender, respectful boy, even in his mid career,
and he immediately drew out the sweet cause of my complaint,
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whilst his eyes eloquently expressed at once his grief for
hurting me, and his reluctance at dislodging from quarters of
which the warmth and closeness had given him a gust
of pleasure that he was now desire mad to satisfy,
and yet too much a novice not to be afraid
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of my withholding his relief on account of the pain
he had put me to. But I was myself far
from being pleased with his having too much regarded my
tender exclaims for now more and more fired with the
object before me, as it still stood with the fiercest erection,
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unbonneted and displaying its broad vermilion head, I first gave
the youth a re encouraging kiss, which he repaid me
with a fervor that seemed at once to thank me
and bribe my farther compliance, and soon replaced myself in
a posture to receive at all risks the renewed invasion,
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which he did not delay an instant for being presently remounted.
I once more felt the smooth, hard gristle, forcing an entrance,
which he achieved rather easier than before. Pained, however, as
I was with his efforts of gaining a comple admission,
which he was so regardful as to manage by gentle degrees,
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I took care not to complain. In the meantime, the
soft straight passage gradually loosens yields and stretched to its
utmost bearing by the stiff, thick in driven engine. Sensible
at once to the ravishing pleasure of the field and
the pain of the distension, let him in about half way,
(33:29):
when all the most nervous activity he now exerted to further,
his penetration gained him not an inch of his purpose,
for whilst he hesitated there, the crisis of pleasure overtook him,
and the close compressure of the warm surrounding fold drew
from him. The ecstatic dush, even before mine was ready
(33:51):
to meet it, kept up by the pain I had
endured in the course of the engagement from the insufferable
size of his weapon, though it was not yet in
above half its length. I expected, then, but without wishing it,
that he would draw, but was pleasantly disappointed, for he
(34:12):
was not to be let off. So the well breathed youth,
hot mettled, and flush with genial juices, was now fairly
in for making me know my driver as soon then
as he had made a short pause, waking as it were,
out of the trance of pleasure, in which every sense
(34:32):
seemed lost. For a while, whilst with his eyes shut
and short, quick breathing he had yielded down his maiden tribute,
he still kept his post, yet unsated with enjoyment and
solacing in these so new delights, till his stiffness, which
had scarce perceptibly remitted, being thoroughly recovered to him who
(34:55):
had not once unsheathed. He proceeded afresh to cleave and
open to himself an entire entry into me, which was
not a little made easy to him by the balsamic
injection with which he had just plentifully moistened the whole
internals of the passage. Redoubling then the active energy of
(35:15):
his thrusts, favored by the fervid appetite of my motions,
the soft oiled words can no longer stand so effectual
a picklock, but yield and open him an entrance. And now,
with conspiring nature and my industry strong to aid him,
he pierces, penetrates, and at length, winning his way, inch
(35:39):
by inch, gets entirely in, and finally, mighty thrust sheaths
it up to the guard, on the information of which,
from the close jointure of our bodies, insomuch that the
hair on both sides perfectly interweaved and encircle together, the
(35:59):
eyes of transported youth sparkled with more joyous fires, and
all his looks and motions acknowledged excess of pleasure, which
I now began to share, for I felt him in
my very vitals. I was quite sick with delight, stirred
beyond bearing with its furious agitations within me, and gorged
(36:22):
and crammed even to surfeit. Thus I lay gasping, panting
under him, till his broken breathings, faltering accents, eyes twinkling
with humid fires, lunges more furious, and an increased stiffness
gave me to hail the approaches of a second period.
It came, and the sweet youth, overpowered with the ecstasy,
(36:47):
died away in my arms, melting in a flood that
shot ingenial warmth into the innermost recesses of my body.
Every conduit of which dedicated to that pleasure was on
flow to mix with it. Thus we continued for some instants,
lost breathless, senseless of everything, and in every part but
(37:11):
those favorite ones of nature, in which all that we
enjoyed of life and sensation was now totally consented. When
our mutual trance was a little over, and the young
fellow had withdrawn that delicious stretcher with which he had
most plentifully drowned all thoughts of revenge in the sense
(37:32):
of actual pleasure, the widened, wounded passage refunded a stream
of pearly liquids, which flowed down my thighs, mixed with
streaks of blood, the marks of the ravage of that
monstrous machine of his, which had now triumphed over a
kind of second maiden head. I stole, however, my handkerchief
(37:54):
to those parts and wiped them as dry as I could.
Whilst he was readjusting and buttoning up. I made him
sit down by me, and as he had gathered courage
from such extreme intimacy, he gave me an after course
of pleasure, in a natural burst of tender gratitude and
joy at the new scenes of bliss I had opened
(38:15):
to him, scenes positively new, as he had never before
had the least acquaintance with that mysterious mark, the cloven
stamp of female distinction. Though nobody better qualified than he
to penetrate into its deepest recesses, or do it nobler justice.
But when by certain motions, certain unquietness of his hands
(38:39):
that wandered not without design, I found he languished for
satisfying a curiosity natural enough to view and handle those
parts which attract and consenter the warmest force of imagination.
Charmed as I was to have any occasion of obliging
and humoring his young desires. I suffered him to pro
(39:00):
seed as he pleased, without check or control, to the
satisfaction of them, easily. Then reading in my eyes the
full permission of myself to all his wishes, he scarce
pleased himself more than me, when having insinuated his hand
under my petticoat and shift, he presently removed those bars
(39:21):
to the side, by slyly lifting them upwards, under favor
of a thousand kisses, which he thought perhaps necessary to
divert my attention from what he was about. All my
drapery being now rolled up to my waist, I threw
myself into such a posture upon the couch, as gave
up to him in full view the whole region of
(39:43):
delight and all the luxurious landscape round it. The transported
youth devoured everything with his eyes, and tried with his
fingers to lay more open to his sight the secrets
of that dark and delicious deep. He opens the fall lips,
the softness of which, yielding entry to anything of a
(40:04):
hard body, close around it and oppose the sight and
feeling further meets with and wonders at a soft, fleshy
excrescence which limber and relaxed after the late enjoyment, now
grew under the touch and examination of his fiery fingers
more and more stiff and considerable, till the titillating ardors
(40:28):
of that so sensible part made me sigh as if
he had hurt me, on which he withdrew his curious,
probing fingers, asking me pardon, as it were, in a
kiss that rather increased the flame There novelty ever makes
the strongest impressions, and in pleasures especially. No wonder then
(40:50):
that he was swallowed up in raptures of admiration of
things so interesting by their nature, and now seen and
handled for the first time. On my part, I was
richly overpaid for the pleasure I gave him in that
of examining the power of those objects thus abandoned to him,
naked and free, to his loosest wish over the artless
(41:13):
natural stripling, his eyes streaming fire, his cheeks glowing with
the florid red, his fervid, frequent sighs, whilst his hands
convulsively squeezed, opened, pressed together again, the lips and signs
of that deep flesh wound or gently twitched the overgrowing moss,
(41:34):
and all proclaimed the excess the riot of joys in
having his wantonness thus humored. But he did not long
abuse my patience, for the objects before him had now
put him by all his And coming out with that
formidable machine of his, he lets the fury loose, and,
(41:55):
pointing it directly to the pouting lipped mouth that bit
him sweet defiance in dumb show, squeezes in the head, and,
driving with refreshed rage, breaks in and plugs up the
whole passage of that soft pleasure conduit, where he makes
all shake again, and put once more all within me
(42:16):
into such an uproar as nothing could still but a
fresh inundation from the very engine of those flames, as
well as from all the springs with which nature floats
that reservoir of joy. When risen to its flood mark,
I was now so bruised, so battered, so spent with
(42:37):
this overmatch, that I could hardly stir or raise myself,
but lay palpitating till the ferment of my sense subsiding
by degrees, and the hour striking at which I was
obliged to despatch my young man, I tenderly advised him
of the necessity there was for a parting which I
(42:57):
felt as much displeasure at as he could do, who
seemed eagerly disposed to keep the field and to enter
on a fresh action. But the danger was too great,
and after some hearty kisses of leave and recommendations of
secrecy and discretion, I forced myself to send him away,
(43:18):
not without assurances of seeing him again to the same
purpose as soon as possible, and thrust a guinea into
his hand, not more lest being too flush of money,
a suspicion or discovery might arise from thence, having everything
to fear from the dangerous indiscretion of that age in
which young fellows would be too irresistible, too charming, if
(43:42):
we had not that terrible fault to guard against. Giddy
and intoxicated as I was, with such satiating drafts of pleasure,
I still lay on the couch, supinely, stretched out in
a delicious languor, diffused over all my limbs, hugging my
for being thus revenged to my heart's content, and that
(44:04):
in a manner so precisely alike, and on the identical
spot in which I had received disupposed injury. No reflections
on the consequences, ever, once perplexed me, nor did I
make myself one single reproach for having by this step
completely entered myself of a profession more decried than disused.
(44:26):
I should have held it ingratitude to the pleasure I
had received, to have repented of it. And since I
was now over the bar, I thought, by plunging over
head and ears into the stream, I was hurried away
by to drown all sense of shame or reflection. Whilst
I was thus making these laudable dispositions, and whispering to
(44:48):
myself a kind of tacit vow of incontinency enters mister H.
The consciousness of what I had been doing deep, and
yet the glowing of my cheeks flushed with the warmth
of the late action, which joined to the piquant air
of my disappeal, drew from mister H a compliment on
my looks, which he was proceeding to back the sincerity
(45:12):
of with proofs, and that with so brisk an action
as made me tremble for fear of a discovery from
the condition of those parts were left in from their
late severe handling, the orifice dilated and inflamed, the lips
swollen with their uncommon distension, the ringlets pressed down, crushed
(45:33):
and uncurled with the overflowing moisture that had wet everything
round it. In short, the different feel and state of
things would hardly have passed upon one of mister H's
nicety and experience, unaccounted for but by the real cause.
But here the woman saved me. I pretended a violent
(45:55):
disorder of my head and a feverish heat that indisposed
me too much to receive his embraces. He gave in
to this and good naturedly desisted. Soon after. An old
lady coming in made the third very apropos for the
confusion I was in, and mister H, after bidding me
take care of myself and recommending me to my repose,
(46:19):
left me much at ease and relieved by his absence.
In the close of the evening, I took care to
have prepared for me a warm bath of aromatic and
sweet herbs, in which, having fully laved and solaced to myself,
I came out voluptuously refreshed in body and spirit. The
(46:39):
next morning, waking pretty early after a night's perfect rest
and composure, it was not without some dread and uneasiness
that I thought of what innovation that tender, soft system
of mind might have sustained from the shock of a
machine so sized for its destruction. Struck with this app hension,
(47:00):
I scarce dared to carry my head thither to inform
myself of the state and posture of things. But I
was soon agreeably cured of my fears. The silky hair
that covered round the borders, now smooth and repruned, had
resumed its wonted curl and trimness. The fleshy, pouting lips
(47:21):
that had stood the brunt of the engagement were no
longer swollen or moisture drenched. And neither they nor the
passage into which they opened, that suffered so great a dilatation,
betrayed any the least alteration outward or inwardly to the
most curious research. Notwithstanding also the laxity that naturally follows
(47:44):
the warm bath. This continuation of that grateful stricture which
is in us to the men, the very jet of
their pleasure I owed, it seems to a happy habit
of body, juicy, plump and furnished towards the tuxture of
those parts with a fullness of soft, springy flesh, that,
(48:04):
yielding sufficiently as it does to almost any distension, soon
recovers itself so as to retighten that strict compression of
its mantlings and folds which formed the sides of the passage,
wherewith it so tenderly embraces and closely clips any foreign
body introduced into it, such as my exploring finger. Then
(48:27):
was finding then everything in due tone and order. I
remembered my fears, only to make a jest of them
to myself, and now palpably mistress of nay size of man,
and triumphing in my double achievement of pleasure and revenge,
I abandoned myself entirely to the ideas of all the
(48:49):
delight I had swam in. I lay stretching out, glowingly
alive all over and tossing with burning impatience for the
renewal of joys that had sinned. But in a sweet excess,
now did I loose my longing. For about ten in
the morning, according to expectation, Will, my new humble sweetheart
(49:11):
came with a message from his master, mister h to
know how I did. I had taken care to send
my maid on an errand into the city that I
was sure would take up time enough. And from the
people of the house I had nothing to fear, as
they were plain, good sorts of folks, and wise enough
to mind no more other people's business than they could
(49:33):
well help. All dispositions then made not forgetting that of
lying in bed to receive him. When he was entered
the door of my bed chamber, a latch that I
governed by a wire, descended and secured it, I could
not but observe that my young minion was as much
spruced out as could be expected from one in his condition,
(49:57):
A desire of pleasing that could not be indifferent to me,
since it proved that I pleased him, which I assure
you was now a point I was not above having
in view. His hair, trimly dressed, clean linen, and above
all a hale, ruddy, wholesome country look made him out
as pretty a piece of women's meat as you could see.
(50:20):
And I should have thought, nay one much out of
taste that could not have made a hearty meal of
such a morsel as nature seemed to have designed for
the highest diet of pleasure. End of Section four
Section four of Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. This
LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Memoirs of a
Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland let her the first
part four. I had it now, I felt it now,
(00:20):
and beginning to drive, he soon gave nature such a
powerful summons down to her favorite quarters, that she could
no longer refuse repairing hither. All my animal spirits then
rushed mechanically to that center of attraction, and presently inly
warmed and stirred, as I was beyond bearing, I lost
(00:42):
all restraint, and, yielding to the force of the emotion,
gave down, as mere woman those effusions of pleasure which,
in the strictness of still faithful love I could have
wished to have kept in Yet, Oh, what an immense
difference did I I feel between this impression of a
(01:02):
pleasure merely animal and struck out of the collision of
the sexes by a passive bodily effect, from that sweet fury,
that rage of active delight which crowns the enjoyments of
a mutual love, passion where two hearts tenderly and truly
united club to exalt the joy and give it a
(01:23):
spirit and soul that bids defiance to that end which
mere momentary desires generally termine it in when they die
of a surfeit of satisfaction. Mister h, whom no distinctions
of that sort seemed to disturb scarce, gave himself or
me breathing time from the last encounter. But as if
(01:44):
he had tasked himself to prove that the appearances of
his vigor were not signs hung out in vain, in
a few minutes he was in a condition for renewing
the onset to which, preluding with a storm of kisses,
he drove the same courses before with unabated fervor, and thus,
in repeated engagements, kept me constantly in exercise till dawn
(02:08):
of morning, in all which time he made me fully
sensible of the virtues of his firm texture of limbs,
his square shoulders, broad chest, compact hard muscles, in short,
a system of manliness that might pass for no bad
image of our ancient sturdy barrens, whose race is now
(02:29):
so thoroughly refined and frittered away into the more delicate
and modern built frame of our papt nerved softlings, who
are as pale as pretty and almost as masculine as
their sisters. Mister H content, however, with having the day
break upon his triumphs resigned me up to the refreshment
(02:50):
of arrest we both wanted, and we soon dropped into
a profound sleep. Though he was some time awake before me.
Yet did he not offered to disturb a repose he
had given me so much occasion for. But on my
first steering, which was not till past ten o'clock, I
was obliged to endure one more trial of his manhood.
(03:14):
About eleven in came Missus Jones, with two basins of
the richest soup, which her experience in these matters had
moved her to prepare. I pass over the fulsome compliments
the cant of the decent procurreus, with which she saluted
us both. But though my blood rose at the sight
of her, I suppressed my emotions and gave all my
(03:37):
concern to reflections on what would be the consequence of
this new engagement. But mister H, who penetrated my uneasiness,
did not long suffer me to languish under it. He
acquainted me that, having taken a solid sincere affection to me,
he would begin by giving me one leading mark of it,
(03:57):
by removing me out of a house which must, for
many reasons be irksome and disagreeable to me, into convenient lodgings,
where he would take all imaginable care of me, and
desiring me not to have any explanations with my landlady
or be impatient till he returned. He dressed and went out,
having left me a purse with two and twenty guineas
(04:19):
in it, being all he had about him, as he
expressed it, to keep my pocket till further supplies. As
soon as he was gone, I felt the usual consequence
of the first launch into vice, for my love attachment
to Charles never appeared to me in that light. I
was instantly borne away down the stream, without making back
(04:41):
to the shore, my dreadful necessities, my gratitude, and above all,
to say, the plain truth, the dissipation and diversion I
began to find in this new acquaintance from the black
corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to ever
since the absence of my dear Charles concurred to stun
all contrary reflections. If I now thought of my first,
(05:05):
my only charmer. It was still with the tenderness and
regret of the fondest love, embittered with a consciousness that
I was no longer worthy of him. I could have
begged my bread with him all over the world, but
wretch that I was, I had neither the virtue nor
courage requisite not to outlive my separation from him. Yet
(05:27):
had not my heart been thus pre engaged, mister h
might probably have been the sole master of it, But
the place was full, and the force of conjectures alone
had made him the possessor of my person, the charms
of which had by the bye been his sole object
and passion, and were of course no foundation for a
(05:49):
love either very delicate or very durable. He did not
return till six in the evening to take me away
to my new lodgings, and my movables, being soon passed
and conveyed into a Hackney coach. It cost me but
little regret to take my leave of a landlady whom
I thought I had so much reason not to be
over pleased with, And as for her part, she made
(06:13):
no other difference to my staying or going. But was
that of the prophet created. We soon got to the
appointed house for me, which was that of a plain tradesman, who,
on the score of interest, was entirely at mister H's devotion,
and who let him the first floor, very genteely furnished
for two guineas a week, of which I was in
(06:35):
stated mistress, with a maid to attend me. He stayed
with me that evening, and we had a supper from
a neighboring tavern, after which and a gay glass or two,
the maid put me to bed. Mister H soon followed,
and notwithstanding the fatigues of the preceding night, I found
(06:55):
no quarter, no remission from him. He piqued himself, as
he told me on doing the honors of my new apartment.
The morning, being pretty well advanced, we got to breakfast,
and the ice now broke my heart. No longer engrossed
by love, began to take ease and to please itself
with such trifles as mister H's liberal liking led him
(07:19):
to make his court to the usual vanity of our sex. Silks, laces,
ear rings, pearl necklace, gold watch. In short, all the
trinkets and articles of dress were lavishly heaped upon me,
the sense of which, if it did not create returns
of love forced a kind of grateful fondness, something like love.
(07:40):
A distinction, it would be spoiling the pleasure of nine
tenths of the keepers in the town to make And
is I suppose, the very good reason why so few
of them ever do make it. I was now established
the kept mistress, in form, well lodged, with a very
sufficient allowance and light, with all the luster of dress.
(08:03):
Mister H continued kind and tender to me. Yet with
all this I was far from happy, for besides my
regret for my dear youth, which, though often suspended or diverted,
still returned upon me in certain melancholic moments with redoubled violences.
I wanted more society, more dissipation. As to mister H,
(08:27):
he was so much my superior in every sense that
I felt it too much to the disadvantage of the
gratitude I owed him. Thus he gained my esteem, though
he could not raise my taste. I was qualified for
no sort of conversation with him except one sort, and
that is a satisfaction which leaves tiresome intervals if not
(08:49):
filled up by love or other amusements. Mister H so experienced,
so learned in the ways of women, numbers of whom
had passed through his hands. Doubtless soon perceived this uneasiness, and,
without approving or liking me, the better for it, had
the complaisance to indulge me. He made suppers at my lodgings,
(09:11):
where he brought several companions of his pleasures with their mistresses.
And by this means I got into a circle of
acquaintance that soon stripped me of all the remains of
bashfulness and modesty which might be yet left of my
country education, and were to a just taste perhaps the
greatest of my charms. We visited one another in form
(09:34):
and mimicked, as near as we could, all the miseries,
the follies, and impertinences of the women of quality, in
the round of which they trifle away their time, without
its ever entering into their little heads. That on earth
there cannot subsist anything more silly, more flat, more insipid,
and worthless than generally considered their system of life. Is
(09:58):
they ought to treat the men their tyrants, indeed, were
they to condemn them to it. But though amongst the
kept mistresses, and I was now acquainted with a good
many besides some useful matrons who lived by their connections
with them, I hardly knew one that did not perfectly
detest her keeper, and of course made little or no
(10:21):
scruple of any infidelity she could safely accomplish. I had
still no notion of wronging mine, for besides that, no
mark of jealousy on his side started me the hint
or gave me the provocation to play him a trick
of that sort, and that his constant generosity, politeness, and
tender attentions to please me forced a regard to him that,
(10:44):
without affecting my heart, insured him my fidelity. No object
had yet presented that could overcome the habitual liking I
had contracted for him, and I was on the eve
of obtaining from the movements of his own voluntary generosity
a modest provision for life when an accident happened which
(11:05):
broke all the measures he had resolved upon in my favor.
I had now lived near seven months with mister h
when one day, returning to my lodgings from a visit
in the neighborhood where I used to stay longer, I
found the street door open and the maid of the
house standing at it talking with some of her acquaintances,
(11:26):
so that I came in without knocking, and as I
passed by, she told me mister h was above. I
stepped up stairs into my own bed chamber with no
other thought than of pulling off my hat, et cetera,
and then to wait upon him in the dining room,
into which my bed chamber had a door, As is
common enough, whilst I was untying my hat strings, I
(11:48):
fancied I heard my maid Hannah's voice and a sort
of tussle, which, raising my curiosity, I stole softly to
the door, where or not in the wood had been
slipped out, and afore ordered a very commanding people to
the scene. Then in agitation, the actors of which had
been too earnestly employed to hear my opening of my
(12:09):
own door from the landing place of the stairs into
my bed chamber. The first sight that struck me was
mister h pulling and hauling this coarse country strambled towards
a couch that stood in a corner of the dining room,
to which the girl made only a sort of awkward
boidening resistance, crying out so loud that I, who listened
(12:30):
at the door, could Scarce hear her pray, sir, don't
let me alone. I am not for your turn. You
cannot sure demean yourself with such a poor body as
I Lord, Sir, my mistress may come home, I must not. Indeed,
I will cry out. All of which did not hinder
(12:51):
her from insensibly suffering herself to be brought to the
foot of the couch, upon which a push of no
mighty violence served to give her a very easy fall.
And my gentleman, having got up his hands to the
stronghold of her virtue, she no doubt thought it was
time to give up the argument, and that all further
defense would be in vain. And he, throwing her petticoats
(13:15):
over her face, which was now as red as scarlet,
discovered a pair of stout, plump, substantial thighs, and tolerably white.
He mounted them round his hips, and, coming out with
his drawn weapon, stuck it in the cloven spot, where
he seemed to find a less difficult entrance than perhaps
(13:35):
he had flattered himself with. For by the way this
blouse had left her place in the country for a bastard,
And indeed all his motions showed he was lodged pretty
much at large. After he had done his Dearie gets up,
drops her petticoats down, and smooths her apron and handkerchief.
(13:57):
Mister h looked a little silly, and taking out some money,
gave it her with an air indifferent enough, bidding her
be a good girl and say nothing. Had I loved
this man, it was not in nature for me to
have had patience to see the whole scene through. I
should have broke in and played the jealous princess with
(14:17):
a vengeance. But that was not the case. My pride
alone was hurt, my heart not, and I could easier
win upon myself to see how far he would go
till I had no uncertainty upon my conscience. The least
delicate of all affairs of this sort. Being now over,
I retired softly into my closet, where I began to
(14:39):
consider what I should do. My first scheme, naturally, was
to rush in and upbraid them. This indeed flattered my
present emotions and vexations, as it would have given immediate
vent to them. But on second thoughts, not being so
clear as to the consequences to be apprehended from such
a step, I began to die, whether it was not
(15:01):
better to dissemble my discovery till a safer season, when
mister h should have perfected the settlement he had made
overtures to me of and which I was not to
think such a violent explanation, as I was indeed not
equal to the management of could possibly forward and might destroy.
On the other hand, the provocation seemed too gross, too flagrant,
(15:26):
not to give me some thoughts of revenge, the very
start of which idea restored me to perfect composure, and
delighted as I was, with the confused plan of it
in my head, I was easily mistress enough of myself
to support the part of ignorance I had prescribed to myself.
And as all this circle of reflections was instantly over,
(15:47):
I stole a tiptoe to the passage door, and opening
it with a noise passed for having that moment come home.
And after a short pause, as if to pull off
my things, I opened the door into the dining room,
where I found the dowdy blowing the fire, and my
faithful shepherd walking about the room and whistling, as cool
(16:08):
and unconcerned, as if nothing had happened. I think, however,
he had not much to brag off, having out dissembled me,
For I kept up nobly the character of our sex
for art, and went up to him with the same
air of frankness as I ever received him. He stayed
but a little while, made some excuse for not being
(16:30):
able to stay the evening with me, and went out.
As for the Wench, she was now spoiled, at least
for my servant, and scarce eight and forty hours were
gone round before her insolence on what had passed between
mister H and her gave me so fair an occasion
to turn her away at a minute's warning that not
(16:52):
to have done it would have been the wonder so
that he could neither disapprove it, nor find it in
the least reason to suspect my original motive. What became
of her afterwards, I know not, but generous as mister
H was, he undoubtedly made her amends, though I dare
answer that he kept up no farther commerce with her
(17:14):
of that sort, as his stooping to such a coarse
morsel was only a sudden sally of lust on seeing
a wholesome looking buxom country wench, and no more strange
than hunger, or even a whimsical appetite making a fling
meal of a neck beef for a change of diet.
Had I considered this escapade of mister H in no
(17:36):
more than that light, and contented myself with turning away
the wench, I had thought and acted right, but flushed
as I was, with imaginary wrongs. I should have held
mister H to have been cheaply off if I had
not pushed my revenge farther and repaid him as exactly
as I could for the soul of me in the
(17:57):
same coin. Nor was this worthy act of justice long delayed?
I had it too much at heart. Mister H had
about a fortnight before taken into his service a tenant's
son just come out of the country, a very handsome
young lad scarce turned of nineteen, fresh as a rose,
(18:18):
well shaped and clever limbed. In short, a very good
excuse for any woman's liking, even though revenge had been
out of the question. Any woman, I say, who was
disprejudiced and had wit and spirit enough to prefer a
point of pleasure to a point of pride. Mister H
had clapped a livery upon him, and his chief employ
(18:41):
was after being shown my lodgings to bring and carry
letters or messages between his master and me. And as
the situation of all kept ladies is not the fittest
to inspire respect even to the meanest of mankind, and
perhaps less of it from the most ignorant, I could
not help observing that this lad who was, I suppose,
(19:03):
acquainted with my relation to his master by his fellow servants,
used to eye me in that bashful, confused way, more expressive,
more moving, and readier catched at by our sex than
any other declarations. Whatever my figure had, it seems struck him.
And modest and innocent as he was, he did not
(19:25):
himself know that the pleasure he took in looking at
me was love or desire. But his eyes, naturally wanton
and now inflamed with passion, spoke a great deal more
than he durst have imagined they did. Yet here too, indeed,
I had only taken notice of the comeliness of the youth.
But without the least design, my pride alone would have
(19:48):
guarded me from a thought that way, had not mister
H's condescension with my maid, where there was not half
the temptation in point of person set me a dangerous example.
But now I began to look on this stripling as
every way a delicious instrument of my designed retaliation upon
mister h of an obligation for which I should have
(20:10):
made a conscience to die in his debt, in order
then to pave the way for the accomplishment of my scheme.
For two or three times that the young fellow came
to me with messages, I managed so as without affectation,
to have him admitted to my bedside, or brought to
me at my toilet where I was dressing, and by
(20:33):
carelessly showing or letting him see as if without meaning
or design, Sometimes my bosom rather more bare than it
should be. Sometimes my hair, of which I had a
very fine head, in the natural flow of it while combing,
sometimes a neat leg that had unfortunately slipped its carter,
(20:55):
which I made no scruple of tying before him, easily
gave him the impressions favorable to my purpose, which I
could perceive to sparkle in his eyes and glow in
his cheeks. Then certain slight squeezes by the hand as
I took letters from him, did his business completely. When
(21:17):
I saw him thus moved and fired for my purpose,
I inflamed him yet more by asking him several leading questions,
such as, had he a mistress, was she prettier than me?
Could he love such a one as I was? And
the like, to all which the blushing simpleton answered to
(21:37):
my wish in a strain of perfect nature, perfect undebauched innocence,
but with all the awkwardness and simplicity of country breeding.
When I thought I had sufficiently ripened him for the
laudable point I had in view one day that I
expected him at a particular hour, I took care to
(21:58):
have the coast clear for the reception I designed him,
And as I laid it, he came to the dining
room door, tapped at it, and, on my bidding him
come in, he did so, and shut the door after him.
I desired him then to bolt it on the inside,
pretending it would not otherwise keep shut. I was then
(22:19):
lying at length upon that very couch, the scene of
mister H's polite joys in an undress, which was all
the art of negligence, flowing loose and in amost tempting disorder,
No stay, no hoop, no encumbrance whatever. On the other hand,
he stood at a little distance that gave me a
(22:40):
full view of the fine, featured, shapely healthy country lad,
breathing the sweets of fresh blooming youth. His hair, which
was of a perfect shining black, played to his face
in natural side curls, and was set out with a
small tuck up behind new buckskin breeches that, clipping close,
(23:03):
showed the shape of a plump, well made thigh, white stockings,
garter laced livery shoulder, not altogether composed, a figure of
pure flesh and blood, and appeared under no disgrace from
the lowness of address to which a certain spruce neatness
seems peculiarly fitted. I bid him come towards me and
(23:26):
give me his letter, at the same time, throwing down
carelessly a book I had in my hands. He colored
and came within reach of delivering me the letter, which
he held out awkwardly enough for me to take. With
his eyes riveted on my bosom, which was, through the
designed disorder of my handkerchief, sufficiently bare and rather shaded
(23:50):
than hid. I, smiling in his face, took the letter, and, immediately,
catching gently hold of his shirt sleeve, drew him towards me.
Blushing and almost trembling. For surely his extreme bashfulness an
utter inexperience, called for at least all the advances to
(24:11):
encourage him. His body was now conveniently inclined towards me,
and just softly chucking his smooth, beardless chin, I asked
him if he was afraid of a lady, And with
that look, and carrying his hand to my breasts, I
pressed it tenderly to them. They were now finely furnished
(24:33):
and raised in flesh, so that, panting with desire, they
rose and fell in quick heaves under his touch. At
this the boy's eyes began to lighten with all the
fires of inflamed nature, and his cheeks flushed with a
deep scarlet tongue tied with joy, rapture, and bashfulness. He
(24:55):
could not speak, but then his looks his emotion sufficient
gently satisfied me that my train had taken and that
I had no disappointment to fear. My lips, which I
threw in his way so as that he could not
escape kissing them, fixed fired and emboldened him. And now
(25:15):
glancing my eyes towards that part of his dress which
covered the essential object of enjoyment, I plainly discovered the
swell and commotion there, And as I was now too
far advanced to stop in so fair a way, and
was indeed no longer able to contain myself or wait
the slower progress of his maiden bashfulness, for such it seemed,
(25:39):
and really was, I stole my hand upon his thighs down,
one of which I could both see and feel, a stiff,
hard body, confined by his breeches, that my fingers could
discover no end to curious, then, and eager to unfold
so alarming a mystery, playing as it were, with his buttons,
(26:02):
which were bursting ripe from the active force within those
of his waist bed, and foreflap flew open at a touch.
When out it started, and now disengaged from the shirt,
I saw, with wonder and surprise, what not the plaything
of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but
(26:23):
a maypole of so enormous a standard that, had proportions
been observed, it must have belonged to a young giant.
Yet I could not, without pleasure behold, and even ventured
to feel such a length, such a breath of animated ivory,
perfectly well turned and fashioned. The proud stiffness of which
(26:46):
distended its skin, whose smooth, polish and velvet softness might
flye with that of the most delicate of our sex,
and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off
by a sprout of black curt hair round the root,
Through the jetty springs of which the fair skin showed,
as in a fine evening, you may have remarked the
(27:09):
clear light either through the branchwork of distant trees overtopping
the summit of a hill. Then the broad and bluish
cast it incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of
its veins, altogether composed the most striking assemblage of figure
and colors in nature. In short, it stood an object
(27:33):
of terror and delight. But what was yet more surprising
the owner of this natural curiosity, through the want of occasions,
in the strictness of his home, breeding, and the little
time he had been in town not having afforded him
one was hit. Hereto an absolute stranger in practice, at
(27:54):
least to the use of all that manhood he was
so nobly stocked with. And it now fell to my
lot to stand his first trial of it. If I
could resolve to run the risks of its disproportion to
that tender part of me, which such an oversized machine
was very fit to lay in ruins. But it was
(28:17):
now of the latest to deliberate, for by this time
the young fellow overheated with the present objects and too
high metal to be longer curved in by that modesty
and awe which had hit hereto restrained him, ventured under
the stronger impulse and instructive promptorship of nature alone, to
(28:38):
slip his hands trembling with eager, impetuous desires under my petticoats,
and see, I suppose nothing extremely severe in my looks
to stop or dash him. He feels out and seizes
gently the center swat of his orders. Oh, then the
fiery touch of his fingers determines me, and my fears
(29:03):
melting away before the glowing, intolerable heat, My thighs disclosed
of themselves and yield all liberty to his hand. And
now a favorable movement, giving my petticoats a toss. The
avenue lay too fair, too open to be missed. He
is now upon me. I had placed myself with a
(29:24):
jet under him, as commodious and open as possible to
his attempts, which were untoward enough for his machine, meeting
with no inlet, bore and bantered stiffly against me in
random pushes, now above, now below, now beside his point,
till burning with impatience from its irritating touches, I guided
(29:48):
gently with my hand this furious engine to where my
young novice was now to be taught his first lesson
of pleasure. Thus he nicked at length the warm and
insufficient orifice, but he was made to find no breach impracticable,
and mine, though so often entered, was still far from
(30:10):
wide enough to take him easily in by my direction. However,
the head of his unwieldy machine was so critically pointed that,
feeling him fortright against the tender opening, a favorable motion
from me met his timely thrust, by which the lips
of it strenuously dilated, gave way to his thus assisted impetuosity,
(30:35):
so that we might both feel that he had gained
a lodgment. Pursuing then his point, he soon, by violent
and to me most painful, piercing thrusts, wedges himself at
length so far in as to be now tolerably secure
of his entrance. Here he stuck, and I now felt
(30:56):
such a mixture of pleasure and pain, And as there
is no giving a definition of I dreaded alike his
splitting me farther up or his withdrawing, I could not
bear either to keep or part with him. The sense
of pain, however, prevailing from his prodigious size and stiffness
(31:17):
acting upon me in those continued rapid thrusts with which
he furiously pursued his penetration, made me cry out gently,
oh my dear, you hurt me. This was enough to
check the tender, respectful boy, even in his mid career,
and he immediately drew out the sweet cause of my complaint,
(31:39):
whilst his eyes eloquently expressed at once his grief for
hurting me, and his reluctance at dislodging from quarters of
which the warmth and closeness had given him a gust
of pleasure that he was now desire mad to satisfy,
and yet too much a novice not to be afraid
(31:59):
of my withholding his relief on account of the pain
he had put me to. But I was myself far
from being pleased with his having too much regarded my
tender exclaims for now more and more fired with the
object before me, as it still stood with the fiercest erection,
(32:20):
unbonneted and displaying its broad vermilion head, I first gave
the youth a re encouraging kiss, which he repaid me
with a fervor that seemed at once to thank me
and bribe my farther compliance, and soon replaced myself in
a posture to receive at all risks the renewed invasion,
(32:41):
which he did not delay an instant for being presently remounted.
I once more felt the smooth, hard gristle, forcing an entrance,
which he achieved rather easier than before. Pained, however, as
I was with his efforts of gaining a comple admission,
which he was so regardful as to manage by gentle degrees,
(33:05):
I took care not to complain. In the meantime, the
soft straight passage gradually loosens yields and stretched to its
utmost bearing by the stiff, thick in driven engine. Sensible
at once to the ravishing pleasure of the field and
the pain of the distension, let him in about half way,
(33:29):
when all the most nervous activity he now exerted to further,
his penetration gained him not an inch of his purpose,
for whilst he hesitated there, the crisis of pleasure overtook him,
and the close compressure of the warm surrounding fold drew
from him. The ecstatic dush, even before mine was ready
(33:51):
to meet it, kept up by the pain I had
endured in the course of the engagement from the insufferable
size of his weapon, though it was not yet in
above half its length. I expected, then, but without wishing it,
that he would draw, but was pleasantly disappointed, for he
(34:12):
was not to be let off. So the well breathed youth,
hot mettled, and flush with genial juices, was now fairly
in for making me know my driver as soon then
as he had made a short pause, waking as it were,
out of the trance of pleasure, in which every sense
(34:32):
seemed lost. For a while, whilst with his eyes shut
and short, quick breathing he had yielded down his maiden tribute,
he still kept his post, yet unsated with enjoyment and
solacing in these so new delights, till his stiffness, which
had scarce perceptibly remitted, being thoroughly recovered to him who
(34:55):
had not once unsheathed. He proceeded afresh to cleave and
open to himself an entire entry into me, which was
not a little made easy to him by the balsamic
injection with which he had just plentifully moistened the whole
internals of the passage. Redoubling then the active energy of
(35:15):
his thrusts, favored by the fervid appetite of my motions,
the soft oiled words can no longer stand so effectual
a picklock, but yield and open him an entrance. And now,
with conspiring nature and my industry strong to aid him,
he pierces, penetrates, and at length, winning his way, inch
(35:39):
by inch, gets entirely in, and finally, mighty thrust sheaths
it up to the guard, on the information of which,
from the close jointure of our bodies, insomuch that the
hair on both sides perfectly interweaved and encircle together, the
(35:59):
eyes of transported youth sparkled with more joyous fires, and
all his looks and motions acknowledged excess of pleasure, which
I now began to share, for I felt him in
my very vitals. I was quite sick with delight, stirred
beyond bearing with its furious agitations within me, and gorged
(36:22):
and crammed even to surfeit. Thus I lay gasping, panting
under him, till his broken breathings, faltering accents, eyes twinkling
with humid fires, lunges more furious, and an increased stiffness
gave me to hail the approaches of a second period.
It came, and the sweet youth, overpowered with the ecstasy,
(36:47):
died away in my arms, melting in a flood that
shot ingenial warmth into the innermost recesses of my body.
Every conduit of which dedicated to that pleasure was on
flow to mix with it. Thus we continued for some instants,
lost breathless, senseless of everything, and in every part but
(37:11):
those favorite ones of nature, in which all that we
enjoyed of life and sensation was now totally consented. When
our mutual trance was a little over, and the young
fellow had withdrawn that delicious stretcher with which he had
most plentifully drowned all thoughts of revenge in the sense
(37:32):
of actual pleasure, the widened, wounded passage refunded a stream
of pearly liquids, which flowed down my thighs, mixed with
streaks of blood, the marks of the ravage of that
monstrous machine of his, which had now triumphed over a
kind of second maiden head. I stole, however, my handkerchief
(37:54):
to those parts and wiped them as dry as I could.
Whilst he was readjusting and buttoning up. I made him
sit down by me, and as he had gathered courage
from such extreme intimacy, he gave me an after course
of pleasure, in a natural burst of tender gratitude and
joy at the new scenes of bliss I had opened
(38:15):
to him, scenes positively new, as he had never before
had the least acquaintance with that mysterious mark, the cloven
stamp of female distinction. Though nobody better qualified than he
to penetrate into its deepest recesses, or do it nobler justice.
But when by certain motions, certain unquietness of his hands
(38:39):
that wandered not without design, I found he languished for
satisfying a curiosity natural enough to view and handle those
parts which attract and consenter the warmest force of imagination.
Charmed as I was to have any occasion of obliging
and humoring his young desires. I suffered him to pro
(39:00):
seed as he pleased, without check or control, to the
satisfaction of them, easily. Then reading in my eyes the
full permission of myself to all his wishes, he scarce
pleased himself more than me, when having insinuated his hand
under my petticoat and shift, he presently removed those bars
(39:21):
to the side, by slyly lifting them upwards, under favor
of a thousand kisses, which he thought perhaps necessary to
divert my attention from what he was about. All my
drapery being now rolled up to my waist, I threw
myself into such a posture upon the couch, as gave
up to him in full view the whole region of
(39:43):
delight and all the luxurious landscape round it. The transported
youth devoured everything with his eyes, and tried with his
fingers to lay more open to his sight the secrets
of that dark and delicious deep. He opens the fall lips,
the softness of which, yielding entry to anything of a
(40:04):
hard body, close around it and oppose the sight and
feeling further meets with and wonders at a soft, fleshy
excrescence which limber and relaxed after the late enjoyment, now
grew under the touch and examination of his fiery fingers
more and more stiff and considerable, till the titillating ardors
(40:28):
of that so sensible part made me sigh as if
he had hurt me, on which he withdrew his curious,
probing fingers, asking me pardon, as it were, in a
kiss that rather increased the flame There novelty ever makes
the strongest impressions, and in pleasures especially. No wonder then
(40:50):
that he was swallowed up in raptures of admiration of
things so interesting by their nature, and now seen and
handled for the first time. On my part, I was
richly overpaid for the pleasure I gave him in that
of examining the power of those objects thus abandoned to him,
naked and free, to his loosest wish over the artless
(41:13):
natural stripling, his eyes streaming fire, his cheeks glowing with
the florid red, his fervid, frequent sighs, whilst his hands
convulsively squeezed, opened, pressed together again, the lips and signs
of that deep flesh wound or gently twitched the overgrowing moss,
(41:34):
and all proclaimed the excess the riot of joys in
having his wantonness thus humored. But he did not long
abuse my patience, for the objects before him had now
put him by all his And coming out with that
formidable machine of his, he lets the fury loose, and,
(41:55):
pointing it directly to the pouting lipped mouth that bit
him sweet defiance in dumb show, squeezes in the head, and,
driving with refreshed rage, breaks in and plugs up the
whole passage of that soft pleasure conduit, where he makes
all shake again, and put once more all within me
(42:16):
into such an uproar as nothing could still but a
fresh inundation from the very engine of those flames, as
well as from all the springs with which nature floats
that reservoir of joy. When risen to its flood mark,
I was now so bruised, so battered, so spent with
(42:37):
this overmatch, that I could hardly stir or raise myself,
but lay palpitating till the ferment of my sense subsiding
by degrees, and the hour striking at which I was
obliged to despatch my young man, I tenderly advised him
of the necessity there was for a parting which I
(42:57):
felt as much displeasure at as he could do, who
seemed eagerly disposed to keep the field and to enter
on a fresh action. But the danger was too great,
and after some hearty kisses of leave and recommendations of
secrecy and discretion, I forced myself to send him away,
(43:18):
not without assurances of seeing him again to the same
purpose as soon as possible, and thrust a guinea into
his hand, not more lest being too flush of money,
a suspicion or discovery might arise from thence, having everything
to fear from the dangerous indiscretion of that age in
which young fellows would be too irresistible, too charming, if
(43:42):
we had not that terrible fault to guard against. Giddy
and intoxicated as I was, with such satiating drafts of pleasure,
I still lay on the couch, supinely, stretched out in
a delicious languor, diffused over all my limbs, hugging my
for being thus revenged to my heart's content, and that
(44:04):
in a manner so precisely alike, and on the identical
spot in which I had received disupposed injury. No reflections
on the consequences, ever, once perplexed me, nor did I
make myself one single reproach for having by this step
completely entered myself of a profession more decried than disused.
(44:26):
I should have held it ingratitude to the pleasure I
had received, to have repented of it. And since I
was now over the bar, I thought, by plunging over
head and ears into the stream, I was hurried away
by to drown all sense of shame or reflection. Whilst
I was thus making these laudable dispositions, and whispering to
(44:48):
myself a kind of tacit vow of incontinency enters mister H.
The consciousness of what I had been doing deep, and
yet the glowing of my cheeks flushed with the warmth
of the late action, which joined to the piquant air
of my disappeal, drew from mister H a compliment on
my looks, which he was proceeding to back the sincerity
(45:12):
of with proofs, and that with so brisk an action
as made me tremble for fear of a discovery from
the condition of those parts were left in from their
late severe handling, the orifice dilated and inflamed, the lips
swollen with their uncommon distension, the ringlets pressed down, crushed
(45:33):
and uncurled with the overflowing moisture that had wet everything
round it. In short, the different feel and state of
things would hardly have passed upon one of mister H's
nicety and experience, unaccounted for but by the real cause.
But here the woman saved me. I pretended a violent
(45:55):
disorder of my head and a feverish heat that indisposed
me too much to receive his embraces. He gave in
to this and good naturedly desisted. Soon after. An old
lady coming in made the third very apropos for the
confusion I was in, and mister H, after bidding me
take care of myself and recommending me to my repose,
(46:19):
left me much at ease and relieved by his absence.
In the close of the evening, I took care to
have prepared for me a warm bath of aromatic and
sweet herbs, in which, having fully laved and solaced to myself,
I came out voluptuously refreshed in body and spirit. The
(46:39):
next morning, waking pretty early after a night's perfect rest
and composure, it was not without some dread and uneasiness
that I thought of what innovation that tender, soft system
of mind might have sustained from the shock of a
machine so sized for its destruction. Struck with this app hension,
(47:00):
I scarce dared to carry my head thither to inform
myself of the state and posture of things. But I
was soon agreeably cured of my fears. The silky hair
that covered round the borders, now smooth and repruned, had
resumed its wonted curl and trimness. The fleshy, pouting lips
(47:21):
that had stood the brunt of the engagement were no
longer swollen or moisture drenched. And neither they nor the
passage into which they opened, that suffered so great a dilatation,
betrayed any the least alteration outward or inwardly to the
most curious research. Notwithstanding also the laxity that naturally follows
(47:44):
the warm bath. This continuation of that grateful stricture which
is in us to the men, the very jet of
their pleasure I owed, it seems to a happy habit
of body, juicy, plump and furnished towards the tuxture of
those parts with a fullness of soft, springy flesh, that,
(48:04):
yielding sufficiently as it does to almost any distension, soon
recovers itself so as to retighten that strict compression of
its mantlings and folds which formed the sides of the passage,
wherewith it so tenderly embraces and closely clips any foreign
body introduced into it, such as my exploring finger. Then
(48:27):
was finding then everything in due tone and order. I
remembered my fears, only to make a jest of them
to myself, and now palpably mistress of nay size of man,
and triumphing in my double achievement of pleasure and revenge,
I abandoned myself entirely to the ideas of all the
(48:49):
delight I had swam in. I lay stretching out, glowingly
alive all over and tossing with burning impatience for the
renewal of joys that had sinned. But in a sweet excess,
now did I loose my longing. For about ten in
the morning, according to expectation, Will, my new humble sweetheart
(49:11):
came with a message from his master, mister h to
know how I did. I had taken care to send
my maid on an errand into the city that I
was sure would take up time enough. And from the
people of the house I had nothing to fear, as
they were plain, good sorts of folks, and wise enough
to mind no more other people's business than they could
(49:33):
well help. All dispositions then made not forgetting that of
lying in bed to receive him. When he was entered
the door of my bed chamber, a latch that I
governed by a wire, descended and secured it, I could
not but observe that my young minion was as much
spruced out as could be expected from one in his condition,
(49:57):
A desire of pleasing that could not be indifferent to me,
since it proved that I pleased him, which I assure
you was now a point I was not above having
in view. His hair, trimly dressed, clean linen, and above
all a hale, ruddy, wholesome country look made him out
as pretty a piece of women's meat as you could see.
(50:20):
And I should have thought, nay one much out of
taste that could not have made a hearty meal of
such a morsel as nature seemed to have designed for
the highest diet of pleasure. End of Section four
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