08 - Section 08. Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland.

08 - Section 08. Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland.  
This book has been notorious since it first appeared and had been banned several times and in several countries. It is a fictional work that details the adventures of an orphaned girl who ends up working in a brothel in London. Early on she falls in love with a young man named Charles, but only to end up being separated from him. She then recounts her experiences as a prostitute who, in spite of her circumstances, manages to retain her humanity and undying faith in true love.  
⚠️If you find insult/get offended or are against extreme descriptions of sexual acts PUT THE BOOK DOWN⚠️

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Section eight of Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. This
LibriVox recording is in the public domain Memoirs of a
Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland letter the second part eight.
The girls, all this time did not in the least

(00:21):
smoke the mystery of this new customer. But missus Cole,
as soon as we were conveniently alone, insured me, in
virtue of her long experience in these matters, that for
this bout my charms had not missed fire. For that,
by his eagerness, his manner, and looks, she was sure
he had it. The only point now in doubt was

(00:42):
his character and circumstances, which her knowledge of the town
would soon gain her sufficient acquaintance with to take her
measures upon and effectively. In a few hours, her intelligence
served her so well that she learned that this conquest
of mine was no other than mister normOn, a gentleman
originally of great fortune, which, with a constitution naturally not

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the best, he had vastly impaired by his over violent
pursuit of the vices of the town, in the course
of which, having worn out and stalled all the more
common modes of debauchery, he had fallen into a taste
of maiden hunting, in which case he had ruined a
number of girls, sparing no expense to compass his ends,

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and generally using them till well tired or cooled by enjoyment,
or springing a new face, he could, with more ease
disembarrass himself of the old ones, and resign them to
their fate, as his sphere of achievements of that sort
lay only among such as he could proceed with by
way of bargain and sale. Concluding from these premises, missus

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Cole observed that a character of this sort was ever
a lawful prize, that the sin would be not to
make the best of our market of him, and that
she thought such such a girl as eye only too
good for him, at any rate, and on any terms.
She went, then, at the hour appointed to his lodgings
in one of our inns of court, which were furnished

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in a taste of grandeur that had a special eye
to all the conveniences of luxury and pleasure. Here she
found him in ready waiting, and after finishing her pretense
of business and the long circuit of discussions concerning her trade,
which she said was very bad, the qualities of her servants, prentices,
journey women, and discourse naturally landed at length on me

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when missus Cole, acting admirably, the good old prating gossip
who lets everything escape her when her tongue is set
in motion, cooked him up a story so plausible of
me throwing in every now and then such strokes of
art with all the simplest air of nature, in praise
of my person and temper as finished him finely for

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her purpose, whilst nothing could be better counterfeited than her
innocence of his. But when now fired and on edge,
he proceeded to drop hints of his design and views
upon me. After he had, with much confusion and pains,
brought her to the point she kept as long aloof
from as she thought proper of understanding him, without now

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affecting to pass for a dragoness of virtue. By flying
out into those violent and ever suspicious passions, she stuck
with the better grace and effect to the character of
a plain, good sort of a woman that knew no harm,
and that getting her bread in an honest way was
made of stuff easy and flexible enough to be wrought

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upon to his ends by his superior skill and address.
But however, she managed so artfully that three or four
meetings took place before he could obtain the least favorable
hope of her assistance, without which he had, by a
number of fruitless messages, letters, and other direct trials of
my disposition, convinced himself there was no coming at me

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all which to raise at once my character and price
with him. Regardful, however, of not carrying these difficulties to
such a length as might afford time for starting discoveries
or incidents unfavorable to her plan, she at last pretended
to be won over by mere dint of entreaties, promises,
and above all by the dazzling sum she took care

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to wind him up to the specification of when it
was now even a piece of art to feign at
once a yielding to the allurements of a great interest
as a pretext for her yielding at all, and the
manner of it such as might persuade him. She had
never dipped her virtuous fingers in an affair of that sort.

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Thus she led him through all the gradations of difficulty
and obstacles necessary to enhance the value of the prize
he aimed at, and in conclusion, he was so struck
with a little beauty I was mistress of, and so
eagerly bent on gaining his ends of me, that he
left her even no room to boast of her management

(05:03):
in bringing him up to her mark. He drove so
plum of himself into everything tending to make him swallow
the bait. No. But in other respects, mister Norbert was
not clear sighted enough, or that he did not perfectly
know the town, and even by experience, the very branch
of imposition now in practice upon him. But we had

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his passion, our friend, so much he was so blinded
and hurried on by it, that he would have thought
any undeception a very ill office done to his pleasure,
Thus concurring even precipitately to the point she wanted him at.
Missus Cope brought him at last to hug himself. On
the cheap bargain, he considered, the purchase of my imaginary

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jewel was to him at no more than three hundred
guineas to myself and a hundred to the brokeress, being
a slender recompense for all her pains and all the
scruples of conscience she had now sacrificed to him for
this the first time of her life, which sums were
to be paid down on the nail upon livery of
my person, exclusive of some no inconsiderable presence that had

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been made in the course of the negotiation, during which
I had occasionally but sparingly been introduced into his company
at proper times and hours, in which it is incredible
how little it seemed necessary to strain my natural disposition
to modesty higher in order to pass it upon him
for that of a very maid, all my looks and gestures,

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ever breathing nothing but that innocence which men so ardently
require in us, for no other end than to feast
themselves with the pleasure of destroying it, and which they
are so grievously, with all their skill subject to mistakes
in When the articles of the treaty had been fully
agreed on, the stipulated payments duly secured, and nothing now

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remained but the execution of the main point, which centered
in the surrender of my person up to his free
disposal and use. Missus Cole managed her objections, especially to
his lodgings and insinuations, so nicely that it became his
own mere notion and urgent request that this copy of
a wedding should be finished at her house. At first, indeed,

(07:19):
she did not care, said she to have such doings
in it. She would not for a thousand pounds have
any of the servants or prentices know it. Her precious
good name would be gone forever with the like excuses. However,
on superior objections to all other expedients, whilst she took
care to start none but those which were most liable

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to them. It came round at last to the necessity
of her obliging him in that conveniency, and of doing
a little more where she had already done so much.
The night then was fixed with all possible respect to
the eagerness of his impatience. And in the meantime missus
Cole had omitted no instructions, nor even neglected any preparation

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that might enable me to come off with honor in
regard to the appearance of my virginity, except that, favored
as I was by nature, with all the narrowness of
stricture in that part requisite to conduct my designs, I
had no occasion to borrow these auxiliaries of art that
create a momentary one easily discovered by the test of

(08:25):
a warm bath. And as to the usual sanguinary symptoms
of defloration, which, if not always, are generally attendance on it,
Missus Kull had made me the mistress of an invention
of her own, which could hardly miss its effect, and
of which more in its place, everything then being disposed
and fixed for mister Norbert's reception, he was at the

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hour of eleven at night, with all the mysteries of
silence and secrecy, let in by missus Cole herself, and
introduced into her bed chamber, where in an old fashioned
bed of hers, I lay fully undressed and panting, if
not with the fears of a real maid, at least
with those perhaps greater of a dissembled one, which gave

(09:10):
me an air of confusion and bashfulness. That maiden modesty
had all the honor of, and was indeed scarce distinguishable
from it, even by less partial eyes than those of
my lover. So let me call him, for I ever
thought the term collie too cruel a reproach to the
men for their abused weakness for us. As soon as

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Missus Cole, after the old gospery on these occasions used
to young women abandoned for the first time to the
will of man, had left us alone in her room,
which by the bye was well lighted up. At his
previous desire that seemed to bode a stricter examination that
he afterwards made. Mister Norbert, still dressed, sprung towards the bed,

(09:57):
where I got my head under the clothes, and if
offended them a good while before he could even get
at my lips to kiss them. So true it is
that a false virtue on this occasion even makes a
greater rout and resistance than a true one. From thence
he descended to my breasts the feel I disputed tooth

(10:17):
and nail with him, till tired with my resistance, and
thinking probably to give a better account of me, when
got into bed with me, the hurried his clothes off
in an instant and came into bed. Meanwhile, by the
glimpse I stole of him, I could easily discover a
person far from promising any such doubty performances as the

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storming of maidenheads generally requires, and whose flimsy consumptive texture
gave him more the air of an invalid that was
pressed than of a volunteer on such hot service. At
scarce thirty, he had already reduced his strength of appetite
down to a wretched dependence on forced provocatives, very little

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seconded by the natural power of a body jaded and
racked off to the LEAs by constant repeated overdrafts of pleasure,
which had done the work of sixty winters on his
springs of life, leaving him at the same time all
the fire and heat of youth in his imagination, which
served at once to torment and spur him down the precipice.

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As soon as he was in bed, he threw off
the bedclothes which I suffered him to force from my hold,
and I now lay as exposed as he could wish,
not only to his attacks, but his visitation of the sheets,
where in the various agitations of the body, through my
endeavors to defend myself, he could easily assure himself there

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was no preparation, though to do him justice he seemed
a less strict examinant than I had apprehended from so
experienced a practitioner. My shift. Then he fairly tore open,
finding I made too much use of it to barricade
my breasts as well as the more important avenue. Yet

(12:06):
in everything else he proceeded with all the marks of
tenderness and regard to me, whilst the art of my
play was to show none for him. I acted then
all the niceties, apprehensions, and terrors supposable for a girl
perfectly innocent to feel at so great a novelty as
a naked man in bed with her for the first time.

(12:28):
He scarce even obtained a kiss. But what he ravished
I put his hand away twenty times from my breasts,
where he had satisfied himself of their hardness and consistence
with passing for hit. Hetherto unhandled goods. But when grown
impatient for the main point, he now threw himself upon me, and,

(12:48):
first trying to examine me with his finger, sought to
make himself further away. I complained of his usage bitterly.
I thought he would not have served a body, so
I was ruined. I did not know what I had done.
I would get up, so I would, and at the
same time kept my thighs so fast locked that it

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was not for strength like his to force them open
or do any good. Finding Thus my advantages and that
I had both my own and his motions at command.
The deceiving him came so easy that it was perfectly
playing upon velvet. In the meantime, his machine, which was
one of those sizes that slip in and out without

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being minded, kept pretty stiffly bearing against that part which
the shutting my thighs barred access to. But finding at
length he could do no good by mere dint of
bodily strength, he resorted to entreaties and arguments, to which
I only answered, with a tone of shame and timidity,
that I was afraid he would kill me. Lord, I

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would not be served. So I was never so used
in all my born days. I wondered he was not
ashamed of himself. So I did, with such silly, infantile
moods of repulse and complaint, as I judged best adapted
to express the character of innocence and affright, Pretending, however,
to yield at length to the vehemence of his insistence

(14:13):
in action and words, I sparingly disclosed my thighs so
that he could just touch the clove and inlet with
a tip of his instrument. But as he fatigued and
toiled to get it in a twist of my body,
so as to receive it obliquely, not only thwarted his admission,
but giving a scream, as if he had pierced me
to the heart, I shook him off me with such

(14:35):
violence that he could not, with all his might to
it keep the saddle vexed. Indeed, at this he seemed,
but not in the style of any displeasure with me
for my skittishness. On the contrary, I dare swear he
held me the dearer, and hugged himself for the difficulties
that even hurt his instant pleasure fired. Now, however, beyond

(14:57):
all barance of delay, he remounts and begged of me
to have patience, stroking and soothing me to it by
all the tenderest endearments and protestations of what he would
moreover do for me, at which, feigning to be something
softened and abating of the anger that I had shown
at his hurting me so prodigiously, I suffered him to

(15:19):
lay my thighs aside and make way for a new trial.
But I watched the directions and management of his point
so well that no sooner was the orifice in the
least open to it, but I gave such a timely
jerk as seemed to proceed not from the evasion of
his entry, but from the pain his efforts added put

(15:41):
me to a circumstance too, that I did not fail
to accompany with proper gestures. Sighs and cries of complaint,
of which that he had hurt me, he killed me,
I should die were the most frequent interjections. But now,
after repeated attempts in which he had not made the

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least impression towards gaining his point, at least for that time,
the pleasure rose so fast upon him that he could
not check or delay it. And in the vigor and
fury which the approaches of the height of it inspired him,
he made one fierce thrust that had almost put me
by my guard, and lodged it so far that I

(16:23):
could feel the warm inspersion just within the exterior orifice,
which I had the cruelty not to let him finish there,
but threw him out again, not without a most piercing
loud exclamation, as if the pain had put me beyond
all regard of being overheard. It was easy then to
observe that he was more satisfied, more highly pleased with

(16:46):
the supposed motives of his bulk of consummation than he
would have been at the full attainment of it. It
was on this foot that I solved to myself all
the falsity I employed to procure him that blissful pleasure
in it, which most certainly he would not have tasted
in the truth of things. Eased, however, and believed by

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one discharge, he now applied himself to sooth and courage,
and to put me into humor and patience to bear
his next attempt, which he began to prepare and gather
force for from all the incentives of the touch and
sight which he could think of, by examining every individual
part of my whole body, which he declared his satisfaction

(17:30):
with in raptures of applauses, kisses, universally imprinted, and sparing
no part of me in all the eagerest wantonness of feeling,
seeing and toying. His vigor, however, did not return so soon,
and I felt him more than once pushing at the door,
but so little in a condition to break in that

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I questioned whether he had the power to enter, had
I held it ever so open but this he then
thought me too little acquainted with the nature of things
to have any regret or confusion about. And he kept
fatiguing himself and me for a long time before he
was in any state to resume his attacks with any
prospect of success. And then I breathed him so warmly

(18:15):
and kept him so at bay, that before he had
made any sensible progress in the point of penetration, he
was deliciously sweated and weary, doubt indeed, so that it
was deep in the morning before he achieved his second
let go about half way of entrance, I all the
while crying and complaining of his prodigious vigor and the

(18:36):
immensity of what I appeared to suffer, splitting up with tired. However,
at length, with such athletic drudgery, my champion began now
to give out and to gladly embrace the refreshment of
some rest, Kissing me then with much affection and recommending
me to my repose. He presently fell fast asleep, which

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and soon as I had well satisfied myself, I with
much composure of body, so as not to waken by
any motion, With much ease and safety too played of
missus Cole's advice for perfecting the signs of my virginity.
In each of the head bedposts, just above where the
bedsteads are inserted into them, there was a small drawer

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so artfully adapted to the moldings of the timber work
that it might have escaped even the most curious search.
Which drawers were easily opened, door shut by the touch
of a spring, and were fitted each with a shallow
glass tumbler full of prepared fluid blood, in which lay
soaked for ready use, a sponge that required no more

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than gently reaching the hand to it, taking it out,
and properly squeezing between the thighs, when it yielded a
great deal more of the red liquid than would save
a girl's honor, after which replacing it and touching the spring,
all possibly of discovery or even of suspicion was taken away.

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And all this was not the work of the fourth
part of a minute. And on which ever side one lay,
the thing was equally easy and practicable by the double
care taken to have each bed post provided alike. True
it is that had he waked and caught me in
the act, it would at least have covered me with
shame and confusion, but then that he did not was

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with the precautions, I took a risk of a thousand
to one in my favor at ease now, and out
of all fear of any doubt or suspicion on his side,
I addressed myself in good earnest to my repose, but
could obtain none, And in about half an hour's time
my gentleman waked again, and turning towards me, I feigned

(20:51):
a sound sleep, which he did not long respect, but
girding himself again to renew the onset, he began to
kiss and caress me. When, now making as if I
just wait, I complained of the disturbance and of the
cruel pain that this little rest had stole my senses from. Eager, however,
for the pleasure as well of consummating an entire triumph

(21:14):
over my virginity, he said everything that could overcome my
resistance and bribe my patience to the end, which not
I was ready to listen to, from being secure of
the bloody proofs I had prepared of his victorious violence,
though I still thought it good policy not to let
him in yet, Awhile I answered then only to his importunities,

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in sighs and moans that I was so hurt I
could not bear it. I was sure he had done
me a mischief, that he had he was such a
sad man at this, Turning down the clothes and viewing
the field of battle by the glimmer of a dying taper,
he saw plainly my thighs shift and sheets, all stained

(21:59):
with what he read took for a virgin effusion, proceeding
from his last half penetration, convinced and transported at which
nothing could equal his joy and exultation, the illusion was complete.
No other conception entered his head but that of his
having been at work upon an unopened mind, which idea,

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upon so strong an evidence, redoubled at once his tenderness
for me, and his ardor for breaking it wholly up,
kissing me. Then, with the utmost rapture, he comforted me
and begged my pardon for the pain he had put
me to, observing withal that it was only a thing,
in course, but the worst was certainly past, and that

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with a little courage and constancy, I should get it
once well over, and never after experience anything but the
greatest pleasure. By little and little I suffered myself to
be prevailed on, and giving, as it were, up the
point to him. I made my thighs insensibly, spreading them,

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yield him liberty of access, which, improving, he got a
little within me when by a well managed reception I
worked the females crew so nicely that I kept him
from the easy mid channel direction, and by dexterous wreathing
and contortions, creating an artificial difficulty of entrance, made him

(23:25):
win it inch by inch, with the most laborious struggles,
I all the while sorely complaining till at length, with
might and main winding his way in, he got it
completely home, and giving my virginity as he thought, the
coup de grass furnished me with the cue of setting

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up a terrible outcry, whilst he triumphantant like a cock,
clapping his wings over his down trod mistress pursued his pleasure,
which presently rose in virtue of this idea of a
complete victory, to a pitch that made me soon sensible
of his melting period. Whilst I now lay acting the deep, wounded, breathless,

(24:11):
frightened undone no longer made you would ask me, perhaps
whether all this time I enjoyed any perception of pleasure,
I assure you little or none, till just towards the
latter end a faintish sense of it came on mechanically
from so long a struggle and frequent threat in that

(24:32):
ever sensible part. But in the first place, I had
no taste for the person I was suffering the embraces
of on a pure mercenary account. And then I was
not entirely delighted with myself. For the jade's part. I
was playing whatever excuses I might have to plead for
my being brought into it. But then this insensibility kept

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me so much the mistress of my mind and motions,
that I could the better manage so close a counterfeit
through the whole scene of deception, recovered at length to
a more show of life by his tender condolences, kisses
and embraces, I upbraided him and reproached him with my
ruin in such natural terms as added to his satisfaction

(25:21):
with himself for having accomplished it, and guessing by certain
observations of mine that it would be rather favorable to
him to spare him. When he some time after feebly
enough came on again to the assault. I resolutely withstood
any further endeavors on a pretext that flattered his prowess,

(25:42):
of my being so violently hurt and sore that I
could not possibly endure a fresh trial. He then graciously
granted me a respite, and the next morning, soon after advancing,
I got rid of further importunity till missus Cole, being
rang for by him, came in and was made acquainted

(26:03):
in terms of the utmost joy and rapture, with his
triumphant certainty of my virtue and the finishing stroke he
had given it in the course of the night, of
which he added she would see proof enough in bloody
characters on the sheets. You may guess how a woman
of her turn of address and experience humored the jest

(26:25):
and played him off with mixed exclamations of shame, anger,
compassion for me, and of her being pleased that all
was so well over, in which last I believe she
was certainly sincere and now as the objection which she
had represented as an invincible one to my lying the
first night at his lodgings, which were studiously calculated for

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freedom of intrigues on the account of my maiden fears
and terrors at the thoughts of going to a gentleman's
chambers and being alone with him in bed was surmounted.
She pretended to persuade me in favor to him, that
I should go there to him whenever he pleased, and
still keep up all the necessary appearances of working with her,

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that I might not lose with my character the prospect
of getting a good husband, and at the same time
her house would be kept the safer from scandal. All
this seemed so reasonable, so considerate to mister Norbert, that
he never once perceived that she did not want him
to resort to her house, lest he might in time

(27:32):
discover certain inconsistencies with the character she had set out
with to him. Besides that this plan greatly flattered his
own ease and views of liberty, leaving me then to
my much wanted rest. He got up, and missus Cole,
after settling with him all points relating to me, got

(27:53):
him undiscovered out of the house, after which, as I
was awake, she came in and gave me due praises
for or my success, behaving too with her usual moderation
and disinterestedness, She refused any share of the sum I
had thus earned, and put me into such a secure
and easy way of disposing of my affairs, which now

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amounted to a kind of little fortune, that a child
of ten years old might have kept the account and
property of them safe in its hands. I was now
restored again to my former state of a kept mistress,
and used punctually to wait on mister Norbert at his
chambers whenever he sent a messenger for me, which I

(28:36):
constantly took care to be in the way of, and
managed with so much caution, that he never once penetrated
the nature of my connections with Missus Cole, but indolently
given up to ease and the town dissipations. The perpetual
hurry of them hindered him from looking into his own affairs,
much less to mine. In the meantime, if I may

(28:59):
judge from my own experience, none are better paid or
better treated during their reign than the mistresses of those who,
ener of it by nature, debatteries, or age, have the
least employment. For the sex. Sensible that a woman must
be satisfied some way, they ply her with a thousand
little tender attentions, presents, caresses, confidences, and exhaust their inventions

(29:26):
in means and devices to make up for the capital deficiency,
and even towards lessening. That what arts, what modes, what
refinements of pleasure? Have they not recourse to to raise
their languid powers and press nature into the service of
their sensuality. But here is their misfortune, that, when by

(29:47):
a course of teasing, worrying, handling, wanton postures, lascivious motions,
they have at length accomplished a flashy ener of it enjoyment,
they at the same time, like up aflame in the
object of their passion, that, not having the means to
themselves to quench, drives her for relief into the next

(30:08):
person's arms, who can finish their work. And thus they
become bowd to some favorite tried and approved of, for
more vigorous and satisfactory execution. For with women of our turn, especially,
however well our hearts may be disposed, there is a
controlling part or queen's seat in us, that governs itself

(30:30):
by its own maxims of state, amongst which not one
is stronger in practice with it than in the matter
of its jews. Never to accept the will for the deed,
Mister Norbert, who was much in this ungracious case, though
he professed to like me extremely, could but seldom consummate

(30:51):
the main joy itself with me without such a length
and variety of preparations as were at once wearisome and inflammatory.
Sometimes he would strip me stark naked on a carpet
by a good fire, when he would contemplate me almost
by the hour, disposing me in all the figures and
attitudes of body, that it was susceptible of being viewed

(31:15):
in kissing me in every part, the most secret and
critical one, so far from accepted, that it received most
of that branch of homage. Then his touches were so
exquisitely wanton, so luxuriously diffused, and penetrative, at times that
he had made me perfectly rage with titillating fires. When

(31:38):
after all, and with much ado, he had gained a
short lived erection, he would perhaps melt it away in
a washy sweat, or a premature abortive effusion that provokingly
mocked my eager desires, or if carried home, how faltered
and unnervous the execution, how insufficient the spring of a

(32:01):
few heat drops to extinguish all the flames he had
kindled one evening. I cannot help remembering that, returning home
from him with a spirit he had raised in a
circle his wand had proved too weak to lay. As
I turned the corner of a street, I was overtaken
by a young sailor. I was then in that spruce,

(32:22):
neat plain dress, which I ever affected, and perhaps might
have in my trip a certain air of restlessness unknown
to the composure of cooler thoughts. However, he seized me
as a prize, and without farther ceremony, threw his arms
round my neck and kissed me boisterously and sweetly. I

(32:43):
looked at him with a beginning of anger and indignation
at his rudeness, that softened away into other sentiments as
I viewed him, For he was tall, manly carriaged, handsome
of body and face, so that I ended my stare
with asking him, in a tone turned to tenderness, what
he meant, at which, with the same frankness and vivacity

(33:06):
as he had begun with me, he proposed treating me
with a glass of wine. Now certain it is that,
had I been in a calmer state of blood than
I was, had I not been under the dominion of
unappeased irritations and desires. I should have refused him without hesitation,
But I do not know how it was My pressing

(33:27):
calls his figure, the occasion, and if you will, the
powerful combination of all these, with a start of curiosity
to see the end of an adventure so novel, too,
as being treated like a common street plier, made me
give a silent consent. In short, it was not my

(33:48):
head that I now obeyed. I suffered myself to be
towed along, as it were, by this man of war,
who took me under his arm as familiarly as if
he had known me all his life time, and led
me into the next convenient tavern, where we were shown
into a little room on one side of the passage.

(34:09):
Here scarce allowing himself patience till the waiter brought in
the wine called for, he fell directly on board me,
when untucking my handkerchief and giving me a snatching bus
he laid my breast's bare at once, which he handled
with that keenness of lust that a bridges a ceremonial

(34:29):
ever more tiresome than pleasing on such pressing occasions, And
now hurrying towards the main point, we found no conveniency
to our purpose. Two or three disabled chairs and a
rickety table composing the whole furniture of the room without
more ado, He plants me with my back standing against

(34:50):
the wall and my petticoats up, and coming out with
a splitter. Indeed made it shine as he brandished it
in my eyes, and going to work with an impetuosity
and eagerness bred very likely by a long fast at sea,
went to give me a taste of it. I straddled,

(35:11):
I humored my posture and did my best in short
to buckle to it. I took part of it in too,
but still things did not go to his thorough liking.
Changing Then in a trice his system of battery, he
leads me to the table and with a master hand
lays my head down on the edge of it, and

(35:32):
with the other canting up my petticoats and shift bears
my naked posteriors to his blind and furious guide. It
forces its way between them, and I, feeling pretty sensibly
that it was not going by the right door, and
knocking desperately at the wrong one, I told him of it. Pooh,
says he my dear any port in a storm, altering, however,

(35:57):
directly his course and lowering his point, he fixed it right,
and driving it up with a delicious stiffness, made all
foam again, and gave me the tout with such fire
and spirit, that, in the fine disposition I was in
when I submitted to him, and stirred up so fiercely
as I was, I got the start of him, and

(36:19):
went away into the melting swoon, and squeezing him whilst
in the convulsive grasp of it, drew from him such
a plenteous bejewel, as joined to my own effusion, perfectly
floated those parts and drowned in a deluge all my
raging conflagration of desire. When this was over, how to

(36:41):
make my retreat was my concern, For though I had
been so extremely pleased with the difference between this warm
broadside poured so briskly into me, and the tiresome pawing
and toying to which I had owed the unappeased flames
that had driven me into this step, now I was
grown cooler. I began to apprehend the danger of contracting

(37:05):
an acquaintance with this however agreeable stranger who on his side,
spoke of passing the evening with me and continuing our intimacy,
with an air of determination that made me afraid of
its being not so easy to get away from him
as I could wish. In the meantime, I carefully concealed

(37:25):
my uneasiness and readily pretended to consent to stay with him,
telling him I should only step to my lodgings to
leave a necessary direction, and then instantly return. This he
very glibly swallowed on the notion of my being one
of those unhappy street errants who devote themselves to the

(37:46):
pleasure of the first ruffian that will stoop to pick
them up, and of course that I would scarce bilk
myself of my hire by my not returning to make
the most of the job. Thus he parted with me,
not before, however, he had ordered in my hearing a supper,
which I had the barbarity to disappoint him of my

(38:06):
company too. But when I got home and told missus
Skull my adventure, she represented so strongly to me the
nature and dangerous consequences of my folly, particularly the risks
to my health in being so open legged and free,
that I not only took resolutions never to venture so

(38:27):
rashly again, which I inviolably preserved, but passed a good
many days in continual uneasiness, lest I should have met
with other reasons besides the pleasure of that encounter to
remember it. But these fears wronged my pretty sailor, for
which I gladly make him this reparation. I had now

(38:48):
lived with mister Norbert near a quarter of a year,
in which space I circulated my time very pleasantly between
my amusements at missus Cole's and a proper attendance on
that gentleman, who paid me profusely for the unlimited complaisance
with which I passively humored every caprice of pleasure, and

(39:10):
which had won upon him so greatly that finding, as
he said, all that variety in me alone which he
had sought for in a number of women, I had
made him lose his taste for inconstancy and new faces.
But what was yet at least agreeable, as well as
more flattering the love I had inspired him with bread

(39:32):
a deference to me that was of great service to
his health, for having, by degrees and with most pathetic representations,
brought him to some husbandry of it, and to insure
the duration of his pleasures by moderating their use and
correcting those excesses in them he was so addicted to,

(39:52):
and which had shattered his constitution and destroyed his powers
of life. In the very point for which he seemed
chiefly desirous to live, he was grown more delicate, more temperate,
and in course more healthy, his gratitude for which was
taking a turn very favorable for my fortune. When once

(40:13):
more the caprice of it dashed the cup from my lips.
His sister lady l from whom he had a great affection,
desiring him to accompany her down to Bath for her health.
He could not refuse her such a favor, And accordingly,
though he counted on staying away from me no more
than a week at farthest, he took his leave of

(40:36):
me with an ominous heaviness of heart, and left me
a sum far above the state of his fortune, and
very inconsistent with the intended shortness of his journey. But
it ended in the longest that can be, and is
never but once taken for arrived at Bath, he was
not there two days before he fell into a debauch

(40:58):
of drinking with some gentlemen that threw him into a
high fever, and carried him off in four days time,
never once out of a delirium. Had he been in
his senses to make a will, perhaps he might have
made favorable mention of me in it. Thus, however, I
lost him, And as no condition of life is more

(41:22):
subject to revolutions than that of a woman of pleasure,
I soon recovered my cheerfulness, and now beheld myself once
more struck off the list of kept mistresses, and returned
into the bosom of the community from which I had
been in some manner taken. Missus Cole, still continuing her friendship,

(41:43):
offered me her assistance and advice towards another choice. But
I was now in ease and affluence enough to look
about me at leisure, and as to any constitutional cause
of pleasure. Their pressure or sensibility was greatly lessened by
a consciousness of the ease with which they were to
be satisfied. At missus Cole's house, where Louisa and Emily

(42:06):
still continued in the old way, and by great favorite,
Harriet used often to come and see me and entertain
me with her head and heart full of the happiness
she enjoyed with her dear Baronet, whom she loved with
tenderness and constancy, even though he was her keeper, and
what is yet more, had made her independent by a

(42:28):
handsome provision for her and hers. I was then in
this vacancy from any regular employ of my person in
my way of business, when one day missus Cole, in
the course of the constant confidence we lived in, acquainted
me that there was one mister Barville who used her
house just come to town, whom she was not a

(42:50):
little perplexed about providing a suitable companion, for which was
indeed a point of difficulty, as he was under the
tyranny of a cruelty, that of an ardent desire, not
only of being unmercifully whipped himself, but of whipping others
in such sort that, though he paid extravagantly those who

(43:11):
had the courage and complaisance to submit to his humor,
there were few delicate as he was in the choice
of his subjects who would exchange turns with him so
terrible at the expense of their skin. But what yet
increased the oddity of this strange fancy was the gentleman,
being young whereas it generally attacks. It seems such as

(43:35):
are through age obliged to have recourse to this experiment
for quickening the circulation of their sluggish juices and determining
a conflux of the spirits of pleasure towards these flagging,
shrivelly parts that rise to life only by virtue of
those titillating orders created by the discipline of their opposites

(43:58):
with which they have so surprised a consent. This missus
Cole could not well acquaint me with in any expectation
of my offering my service for sufficiently easy as I
was in my circumstances. It must have been the temptation
of an immense interest indeed, that could have induced me

(44:18):
to embrace such a job. Neither had I ever expressed,
nor indeed felt the least impulse or curiosity to know
more of a taste that promised so much more pain
than pleasure to those that stood in no need of
such violent goads? What then, should move me to subscribe
myself voluntarily to a party of pain for knowing it such? Why?

(44:42):
To tell the plain truth, it was a sudden caprice,
a gust of fancy for trying a new experiment mixed
with the vanity of proving my personal courage to missus Cole,
that determined me at all risks to propose myself to
her and relieve her from any farther lookout. Accordingly, I

(45:02):
at once pleased and surprised her with a frank and
unreserved tender of my person to her and her friend's
absolute disposal on this occasion. My good temporal mother was, however,
so kind as to use all the arguments she could
imagine to dissuade me, But as I found, they only

(45:23):
turned on a motive of tenderness to me. I persisted
in my resolution, and thereby acquitted my offer of any
suspicion of its not having been sincerely made or out
of compliment, only acquiecing then thankfully in it. Missus Cole
assured me that, bating the pain I should be put to,

(45:43):
she had no scruple to engage me to this party,
which she assured me I should be liberally paid for,
and which the secrecy of the transaction preserved safe from
the ridicule that otherwise vulgarly attended it. That for her part,
she considered pleasure of one sort or other as the
universal port of destination, and every wind that blew thither

(46:08):
a good one, provided it blew nobody any harm that
she rather compassionated than blamed those unhappy persons who are
under a subjection they cannot shake off to those arbitrary
tastes that rule their appetites of pleasures with an unaccountable control.
Tastes too, as infinitely diversified, as superior to and independent

(46:33):
of all reasoning, as the different relishos or palettes of
mankind in their viands, some delicate stomachs, nauseating plain meats
and finding no savor but in high seasoned, luxurious dishes,
whilst others again pique themselves upon detesting them. I stood
now in no need of this preamble of encouragement of justification.

(46:57):
My word was given, and I was determined to fulfill
my engagements accordingly. The night was set, and I had
all the necessary previous instructions how to act and conduct myself.
The dining room was duly prepared and lighted up, and
the young gentleman posted there in waiting for my introduction

(47:17):
to him. I was, then, by missus Cole brought in
and presented to him in a loose disabelle fitted by
her direction to the exercise, I was to go through
all in the finest linen and a thorough white uniform gown, petticoat, stockings,
and satin slippers, like a victim led to sacrifice, whilst

(47:40):
my dark auburn hair, falling in drop curls over my neck,
created a pleasing distinction of color from the rest of
my dress. As soon as mister Barville saw me, he
got up with a visible air of pleasure and surprise, and,
saluting me, asked missus Cole if it was possible that
so fine an delicate a creature would voluntarily submit to

(48:03):
such sufferings and rigors as were the subject of his assignation.
She answered him properly, and now reading in his eyes,
that she could not too soon leave us together, she
went out, after recommending to him to use moderation with
so tender a novice. But whilst she was employing his attention,

(48:24):
mine had been taken up with examining the figure and
person of this unhappy young gentleman, who was thus unaccountably
condemned to have his pleasure lashed into him as boys
have their learning. He was exceedingly fair and smooth complexioned,
and appeared to me no more than twenty at most,

(48:44):
though he was three years older than what my conjectures
gave him. But then he owed this favorable mistake to
a habit of fatness, which spread through a short squab stature,
and the round, plump, fresh colored face gave him greatly
the look of a Bacchus had not an air of austerity,

(49:04):
not to say sternness, very unsuitable even to his shape
of face, dashed that character of joy necessary to complete
the resemblance. His dress was extremely neat, but plain, and
far inferior to the ample fortune he was in full
possession of. This too, was a taste in him, and

(49:25):
not avarice. As soon as Missus Cole was gone, he
seated me near him, when now his face changed upon
me into an expression of the most pleasing sweetness and
good humor, the more remarkable for its sudden shift from
the other extreme, which I found afterwards, when I knew
more of his character, was owing to a habitual state

(49:47):
of conflict with and dislike of himself for being enslaved
to so peculiar a gust by the fatality of a
constitutional ascendant that rendered him incapable of receiving any pleasure
till he submitted to these extraordinary means of procuring it
at the hands of pain, whilst the constancy of this

(50:07):
repining consciousness stamped at length that cast of sourness and
severity on his features, which was in fact very foreign
to the natural sweetness of his temper. After a competent
preparation by apologies and encouragement to go through my part
with spirit and constancy, he stood up near the fire,

(50:28):
whilst I went to fetch the instruments of discipline out
of a closet hard by. These were several rods made
each of two or three strong twigs of birch, tied together,
which he took, handled, and viewed with as much pleasure
as I did, with a kind of shuddering presage. Now
we took from the side of the room a long,

(50:50):
broad bench, made easy to lie at length on by
a soft cushion in a calico cover, And every thing
being now ready, he took his coat and waist coat off,
and at his motion and desire, I unbuttoned his breeches, and,
rolling up his shirt rather above his waist, tucked it
in securely there when directing naturally my eyes stood at

(51:13):
humor some master movement in whose favor all these dispositions
were making it seemed almost shrunk into his body, scarce
showing its tip above the sprout of hairy curls that
clothed those parts, as you may have seen a wren
peep its head out of the grass. Stooping then to
untie his garters, he gave them me for the use

(51:36):
of tying him down to the legs of the bench,
a circumstance no farther necessary than, as I suppose, it
made part of the humor of the thing, since he
prescribed it to himself amongst the rest of the ceremonial
I led him then to the bench, and according to
my cue, played at forcing him to lie down, which,

(51:58):
after some little show of relifeons for form's sake, he
submitted to. He was straightway extended, flat upon his belly
on the bench, with a pillow under his face, And
as he thus tamely lay, I tied him slightly hand
and foot to the legs of it, which done his
shirt remaining trussed up over the small of his back.

(52:21):
I drew his breeches quite down to his knees, and
now he lay in all the fairest, broadest display of
that part of the back view, in which a pair
of chubby, smooth cheeked, and passing white posteriors rose, cushioning
upwards from two stout, fleshful thighs, and ending their cleft

(52:41):
or separation by a union at the small of the back,
presented a bold mark that swelled as it were to
meet the scourge. Seizing now one of the rods, I
stood over him, and according to his direction, gave him,
in one breath ten lashes, with much good will and

(53:01):
the utmost nerve and vigor of arm that I could
put to them, so as to make those fleshy orbs
quiver again under them, whilst he himself seemed no more
concerned or to mind them than a lobster would a
flea bite. In the meantime, I viewed intently the effects
of them, which to me at least appeared surprisingly cruel.

(53:25):
Every lash had skimmed the surface of those white cliffs,
which they deeply reddened, and lapping round the side of
the farthermost from me, cut specially into the dimple of it,
such livid wheels as the blood either spun out from
or stood in large drops on and from some of
the cuts, I picked out even the splinters of the

(53:47):
rod that had stuck in the skin. Nor was this
raw work to be wondered at, considering the greenness of
the twigs and the severity of the infliction. Whilst the
whole surface of his skin was so smooth stretched over
the hard and firm plump of flesh that filled it,
as to yield no play or elusive swagging under the

(54:08):
stroke which thereby took place, the more plumb and cut
into the quick I was, however, already so moved at
a piteous sight, that I, from my heart repented the undertaking,
and would willingly have given over, thinking he had full enough.
But he, encouraging and beseeching me earnestly to proceed, I

(54:30):
gave him ten more lashes, and then, resting, surveyed the
increase of bloody appearances, and at length, still to the
sight by his stoutness in suffering, I continued the discipline
by intervals till I observed him wreathing and twisting his
body in a way that I could plainly perceive was

(54:50):
not the effect of pain, but of some new and
powerful sensation, curious to dive into the meaning of which,
in one of my pauses of intermission, I approached, as
he still kept working and grinding his belly against a
cushion under him, and first stroking the untouched and unhurt
side of the flesh mount next to me, then softly

(55:12):
insinuating my hand under his sigh, felt the posture things
were in forwards, which was indeed surprising, for that machine
of his, which I had, by its appearance taken for
unimpalpable or at best a very diminutive subject, was now
in virtue of all that smart and havoc of his

(55:33):
skin behind, grown not only to a prodigious stiffness of erection,
but to a size that frightened even me, a non
paral thickness. Indeed, the head of it alone filled the
utmost capacity of my grasp, And when as he heaved
and wriggled to and fro in the agitation of his
strange pleasure, it came into view, it had something of

(55:58):
the air of a round filet of the whitest veal,
and like its owner, squab and short in proportion to
its breath. But when he felt my hand there he
begged I would go on briskly with my jerking, or
he should never arrive at the last stage of pleasure.
Resuming then the rod and the exercise of it, I

(56:19):
had fairly worn out three bundles, when after an increase
of struggles and motion, and a deep sigh or two,
I saw him lie still and motionless. And now he
desired me to desist, which I instantly did, and proceeding
to untie him, I could not but be amazed at
his passive fortitude. On viewing the skin of his butchered,

(56:42):
mangled posteriors, lad so white, smooth and polished, now all
one side of them a confused cutwork of wheels, livid flesh, gashes,
and gore in so much that when he stood up
he could scarce walk. In short, he was in sweet briars.
Then I plainly perceived on the cushion the marks of

(57:04):
a plenteous effusion, and already had his sluggard member run
up to its old nestling place and enforce itself again,
as if ashamed to show its head, which nothing, it seems,
could raise, but stripes inflicted on its opposite neighbors, who
were thus constantly obliged to suffer for his caprice. End

(57:28):
of Section eight.