October 5, 2025 • 29 mins
A sitcom that portrays the everyday life of a typical American family, focusing on the father's guidance and wisdom. The show combines humor with moral lessons.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Transcribed mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the
whole world?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Yes, it's father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert
Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbors.
The Anderson brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee
that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other
brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House always good
to the last drop. Conversation is a peculiar art, and
(00:51):
probably the only one divided into genders. There is, for example,
male conversation, such as an earnest, intelligent discussion of politics
or science. Then there is female conversation such as Millicent
Murgatroyd's latest hairdo, and the restraining influence of the two
way stretch. When it comes to universal conversation, however, there
(01:12):
is one item that stands head and shoulders above the rest.
That's why perhaps we find the Andersons, male and female,
large and small, gather it in the kitchen and diving
headlong into a discussion on the world's most popular subject,
food like this. I tell you, Margaret, that's the trouble
with the world today. We're digging a grave with our teeth. Yes, dear,
(01:33):
it's an established fact that food has killed more people
than anything else in the world.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Yeah, but what a way to die?
Speaker 5 (01:40):
But well, holy cow dead.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
You have to eat, not the way you do.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
He eats like a pig.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Okay, Kathy, just you wait, that's all.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, that's what very said. Never mind, not had don't
drag me into it.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
But you said, Kathy, I was referring to the things
we eat, rather than the manner in which we eat them.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Don't pigs eat hamburgers?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
That isn't the point, don't they?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Mommy? I imagine they would if they had the chance,
then bite.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
It's like a pig.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Do I have to stand here?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Of course, not sit there? Holy cow? Now, if I
may continue with what I was saying, Jim, don't.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
You think we'd better start from the beginning.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
What do you mean from the beginning?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, you just don't come up with a statement like
that out of.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
A clear sky, a statement like what we eat too much?
That isn't what I said. What I said is, do
you realize that over ninety percent of the people today
eat food that is lacking in lezethin, cholesterol and other
substances necessary to the maintenance of proper health.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Jim, do you we don't even know what they are.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
There?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You see, I wouldn't eat him if I didn't know
what they were.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Of course you would. You eat them every day.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I thought you said we didn't.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I said, you don't eat enough of them, enough of
what food's containing lezifin and lesterol, Margaret, haven't you been.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Listening, of course, dear with baited bread.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
The foods we generally eat over cooked vegetables, potatoes, steaks,
chops of When will gonna be ready in about ten minutes?
Yod certainly smells delicious.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Oh, he serves you right.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
I've told you a million times not to snoop around
the stove when I'm trying to work.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Well, I just wanted to see what were we talking about.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
You were talking about food and why people of a
nineties shouldn't have in it.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I never said anything like that. I said, ninety percent
of the people shouldn't have any Ninety percent of the
people today don't eat.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Properly because they use their fingers for a pusher, because.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
They eat food that doesn't have the proper nutritional value.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Jim, are you trying to say that I'm not giving
you and the children the proper sort of food.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Oh no, honey, I well.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
We have three normal, healthy children and we don't need
any of that.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Let's get thin and cut her all.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Leeds a thin and cholesterol, well, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And if you aren't satisfied with the way.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
I mon, if you're misunderstanding the whole thing. I never
said that children weren't healthy.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
If Kathy was any healthier, we'd all have to move out.
But well, good gravy. The way she tears abound.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I am merely trying to point out that the American
people are eating themselves into oblivion.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Where's they at?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Kathy? Go wash your face. I just did wash it again.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, go ahead, Jim. She whizz Every time there's an argument,
I have to go wash my day.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
There isn't any argument. I'm merely telling your mother.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
About a book where finally, what kind of a book?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Dad?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
All you have to do is mention something around here,
and everybody thinks it's an argument.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
No, no one said anything about an argument.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
Jim, Kathy did what kind of a book? Dad?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
He very distinctly said we were having an argument.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Don't pay any attention to her father. She just doesn't
like to wash your face.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Well, that's no reason for her to accuse me of
starting an argument.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
What kind of an argument, Dad?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
What I mean?
Speaker 5 (05:12):
What kind of a book?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Dad? What kind of what book?
Speaker 7 (05:15):
I don't know?
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Jim, won't you please start from the beginning, Honey, what
is all this nonsense about food and books?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
It isn't nonsense, Margaret. It's a very good book called
Learn to Live and like it. Matter of fact, it's brilliant, Betty.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Please turn the heat down on the potatoes, you bet.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Doctor Milford Clark is one of America's leading authorities on
dietary deficiencies, and he proves conclusively that civilized people don't
know how to eat.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You mean, he'd rather we ate our food under the table.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Than on it.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I mean, honey, have you ever used feni Greek seeds?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Well?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Feni Greek seeds? You use them for cooking?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Not in this house.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well, there's no need to get upset. There's nothing horrible
about them.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
What are they?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Funny Greek seeds? That's an herb containing kaline, a lipotrophic
substance used clinically to dissolve deposits of cholesterol. So what
else is now? But if you listened a little more
and talk a little less, you might learn something about seeds,
(06:24):
about a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Did I miss anything? Is the argument?
Speaker 6 (06:27):
All over?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
There wasn't any argument.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
How do you like my face? Now?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
It's fine. It's probably one of the finest faces I've
ever seen.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
My daddy ask him about the Upper Creek seeds. So why, Bud,
you told everybody else about faw kathy?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Why don't you go wash your hands?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
If I just got through.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I had kathy?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Gee whiz, Someday I'll washed once you walk in, and
I'll disappear.
Speaker 6 (06:58):
Jim, what did doctor carr them the hoosy what seeds
have to do with us?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
They are not whosy what seeds? They're fella Greek seeds.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
Oh, I beg your pardon? How could I positively be
so stupid?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And they've got plenty to do with us. Fena Greek
seeds are the basis of the diet. Doctor Clark is
going to explain that the Chamber of Commerce dinner.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh that's who he is?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Who is he?
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Well, let's not rush things, Angel, We'll get our information
one step at a time.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
If we live that long.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Now see here, Bud, if we lives how long? Kathy?
I thought I told you to wash your hands.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
But they just remembered they got washed while it was
doing what face, Margaret? Leave the child alone, Jim. She
isn't getting anything any more confused than it always is.
I didn't even say anything.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Who has, Dear? Would you like to tell us about
doctor Clark?
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Or shall we finish our game of twenty questions?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I don't know why you're making all this fuss about
a perfectly simple little thing. I swear I don't. Doctor
Clark is the guest of honor at the dinner Saturday night,
and I have to introduce it. That's all there is
to it.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
So you read his book.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Sounds more like he's swallowed it, all right, Bud, That
does it?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
From now on the vell excuse.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Me, Dad, I have to come back here, but it's
the front door.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
And I have I said come back here, but you.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Always told me I'm supposed to drop everything on the
front door.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
You see who's at the front door like a good girl.
But I have certain little things to discuss. Go ahead, kitten, yes,
daddy scab Now, mister James Anderson Jr.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
Jim, I don't think I can stand this another minute.
Will you please finish about doctor Carr.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I'd rather finish about my wise cracking son.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
I'll be glad to wait that well.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Doctor Clark is a friend of mister.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Edwards, the president of the Chamber of Commerce.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Right, and he has a diet which he claims will
add twenty years as the normal span of a man's life.
Mister Edward, doctor Clark. Oh, so they figured that the
dinner would be a good place to show what a
wonderful diet it is. He asked me if i'd be
willing to say a few words of introduction, Doctor Crocton, No, honey,
mister Edwards did.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Go ahead there.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
That's all there is to it, except that it's a wonderful.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Diet with fena group seed.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Fella greek. See. I didn't say anything good, you see.
The doctor explains in his book that life is maintained
in direct ratio to the lack of obesity in man now.
A diet of raw food such as kale, cabbage, roy egg, yolk,
olive oil and liver fat will tend to discourage any
(09:36):
inclination toward over eating, and how and he claimed it
was the cleaner.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Mister Manathian, No, doctor, he brought tex FEEDO. Do you
want me to take it upstairs? Jim?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
You didn't have that horrible old thing cleaned again.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
There's nothing horrible about it, but we agreed the last
time that you needed a new one.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And if you keep going to.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
These dinners, what's the matter? Hold it up?
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Kathy?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yes, Mommy, yeah, something wrong?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, it looks fine.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
That's what I told you. All it needed was a
good cleaning.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Should I take it up stairs?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Don't take it? Kitting. I want to see if he
moved the button far enough.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Jim.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
There's any connection between moving a button and doctor Clark's
reducing diet.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Is there?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
It isn't a reducing diet, Margaret. It's a health diet.
And I certainly think that after fifteen years, had I
have a right to have a button move? Yes, dear,
it isn't that I'm putting on any weight. It's just that,
after it's been cleaned so much, it's h what's the
matter of Dad?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Can't you get it button?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I can button it fine.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
He just can't breathe, that's all, Jim.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I told you.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
There's nothing wrong with the tuxedo. You must have moved
the button the wrong way. Sure, but I.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Was agreeing with your dad. Move the button the wrong way.
That's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It looks real, pretty definite, Daddy.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yes, well, let's forget about the tuxedo for the time being.
Getting back to doctor Clark. Did I think we'll all
be much better? Did you say something, honey, Jim?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
You're not going on a reducing diet, are.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
You, Margaret? I told you it is not a reducing diet. Naturally,
it keeps you in condition, but it's not a reducing diet.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
You won't be able to stay on a two minutes
kale and cabbage and drags.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
I think we'll all do very well on doctor Clark's diet, Jim. I, ah,
holy cow, Dad, Bobby, you don't expect us to eat
that stuff, what stuff, liver fat. The very least we
can do is try it.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Angel. We have three growing children.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And they'll grow healthier and live longer on Doctor Clark's diet.
They'll learn to live and.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Like it jumping creepers.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Raw egg yilk. And since there's no time like the present,
we'll start with dinner.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You mean this dinner?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Now right now, the.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Way Roggs for dinner, you're not going to Jim, I
have the entire meal.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
For pay no, honey. But you've got to be firm
with these things.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Well, I spend a whole day fixing your favorite meat law.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Meatlaw and scot up potatoes, Margaret. When you decide on
a thing like this, you've got to go through with it.
And we're all going on the Doctor Clark diet. First
thing in the morning.
Speaker 7 (12:54):
How would you like to have dinner at the Anderson
Home tomorrow night? Well, fenigreg seeds are no fenogreek seeds.
You can bet there's one meal time pleasure the Andersons
will never give up, and that's the enjoyment of coffee,
really good coffee, in other words, our Maxwell House. And
you know, there's a whole world of difference between rich,
(13:15):
truly satisfying Maxwell House coffee and just coffee. The difference
is that wonderful, good to the last drop flavor, a
flavor no other coffee has ever matched, a flavor that
belongs to Maxwell House alone. Now, the reason no other
coffee tastes like Maxwell House is that no other coffee
is made like Maxwell House. You see coffee beans grow
(13:37):
all over the world, and there are countless grades and
varieties of them. But on the mild high plateaus of
Latin America there grow a few rare choice kinds of
coffee beans rich in flavor, bursting with goodness. And it
is these extra flavorful varieties that first and foremost are
chosen for our Maxwell House blend. For example, fancy Manizales
(13:59):
coffee are selected for fragrant mellowness, superb Medlins for extra richness,
choice Buka among us coffees for fine full body. Yes,
it is these fine vintage coffees blended in just the
right proportions that create that world famous good to the
last drop flavor. A flavor is so good that more
(14:21):
people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than any
other brand at any price. So how about it for
the most in downright coffee drinking enjoyment, Try our Maxwell House,
won't you. It's the one, the only coffee that's always
good to the last drop.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
A day is passed since last we saw the Andersons,
one day, twenty two minutes, fourteen seconds, and three meals.
It's dinner time again, and once more the family has
gathered about the festive board. The table is piled high
with all sorts of tasty things, raw carrots, celery tail, cabbage.
Well it isn't exactly festive, I guess, but they're certainly bored.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Like this mother.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
What is it, Betty?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Is my nose twitching?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
There why I feel just.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Like a rabbit?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You look like a rabbit? Do I bet your brother's
idea of a joke? Kitten? Have another carrot?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Jimmy Waddy says, if you eat rabbit food, you get figures.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
That's very interesting, all right, bud, but let's have it.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
Oh, it isn't anything, Dad, I was just thinking of
a rabbit's tail. We sure look funny if never mind, but.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
We wouldn't we.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I don't want to look like a rabbit.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It's an amazing thing. A genius like doctor Clark devotes
in entire life to the development of a diet. But
you'd rather take the word of a nine year old
pif squeak like Jimmy Woody, he's ten. I beg your pardon,
a ten year old piff squeak?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Saw there? How long do we have to eat these
horrible things?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
That's not the proper attitude, Betty. In two or three
weeks we'll get used to the clock diet and we'll
get along fine.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
In two or three weeks will be dead.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
But if you aren't happy with your dinner, yes, have
some raw eggiel, Thank you, Betty.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It's better not eating raw cabbage.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Jim, you might not believe this, but I went to
three markets this afternoon and they were all fresh out
of centigreek seeds.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
You know, somehow I get the impression that you aren't
particularly fond of this diet.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Why, Jim, whatever made you think a thing like that?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
You don't seem to realize that this is a very
serious matter.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Who doesn't?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Do you know what doctor Clark says? He says that
the American diet contains such a large percentage of residue
and alkaline minerals that the racial carbohydrates is shockingly disproportionate.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I don't know. That certainly makes you stop and think,
doesn't It.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Doesn't make me stop and think.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
But this is a diet, not a miracle. Yeah, I
make facts. For example, what do we know about fats?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
May I please be excused? No?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Did you if she's finished with her dinner. Why can't
she be excused?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Because this is very interesting? Did you know that the
digestibility of fats depends upon one the melting point, two
whether or not it supontifies properly, and three to what
degree it resists the digestive ferments? Well? Did you?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I didn't you see? Now? May I be excuse.
Speaker 7 (17:52):
Cathy?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
As you grow older, you will find all this very important.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
If I don't get some food, I'm not going to
get any older.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
What was that? Oh?
Speaker 5 (18:02):
I said?
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Now that summer is almost over, it's sure getting.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
Colder, Yes, sir, sure is.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
May I have my coffee? Please? Thank you. The trouble
with the people in this family is that they don't
want to learn anything. All they care about are strapless
evening gowns and gasoline scooters and hamburgers. Thank you, kitten,
then hamburgers. Now me, I have excuse Kathy. You're a
sensible little girl. Wouldn't you like to hear what doctor
Clark has to say about Corinth? My?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's certainly getting late, isn't it, Margaret.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I'd better get started on the dishes or we'll be
here all night. But I don't hurry. Dare you just
sit there and enjoy your coffee while we do the dishes.
Are you coming, Betty?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
It isn't my turned? Oh excuse me, father, I have
to help mother with the dishes.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Want me to dry?
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Please?
Speaker 6 (18:55):
All right?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Come along?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Can I do something?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Sure you can keep father company?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
She will.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
We won't be very long, dear.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Oh, don't worry about us. I'm going to tell Kathy
all about corn. You do that you see kitting corrants
or dried seedless grapes and contrasted dry seedy grapes are
poor in water? Seventy n.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Oh, what a relief.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
What's the matter with dad? Doesn't he feel well?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
He feels fine, But it's just that well, he.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Becomes so interested in the people he has to introduce
these dinners that he gets carried away.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
He should be, but that's not very respectful.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
I'm sorry, But good grief, Mom.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Why should we have to eat all that junk just
because he's interested.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It's all good, healthy food, Dear. It won't do you
the least bit of harm.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
It won't do me any good either. Phonograph seeds.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Mother, What if he had to introduce he's a fan dancer?
Would we have to run around, really, Dear, Well, then
why do we have to eat rabbit food? We're not
going to We're going to put an end to this
foolishness once and for all.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
How do we do that.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
We're going to get rid of your father's tuxedo.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
What's the tuxedo got to do with it?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Father said it wasn't a reducing diet. We're all on
this horrible diet because your father's tuxedo won't button.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
I still don't get it, Bud.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Your father's had that same tuxedo for fifteen years and
he just won't admit that he's put on a little weight.
But he said he do you like eating that rabbit food?
Speaker 5 (20:36):
Of course not, Bud. What's up, Doc? No?
Speaker 6 (20:42):
All right, then you both got to help me get
rid of that miserable tuxedo.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Mother, you've always said, well, gosh, if dad really likes.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
It, don't forget to order some liver fat for tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
All right, Dear, what do you want us to do?
Speaker 5 (21:01):
We won't have to shoot anybody, will We.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Very simple.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
We're just going to make a few alterations. But we
don't know how to alter a tuxedo.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
And when we get through, no one will be able
to fix it.
Speaker 5 (21:15):
How's that going to get us off the diet.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
We're going to rip that old tuxedo to shreds, and
your father will have to buy anyone one that fits him.
Oh then we'll see how long he worries about whether
or not his food suponifies. Mom?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
What if he finds out?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
He won't find out, but.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
If he does, oh well, I can always move in
with Janie Leggis.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Don't forget we're going to fix it.
Speaker 7 (21:41):
Mom.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Maybe we bought it well, dear, have you and Kathy
fixed up on menu for tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I was just telling her about the horrible things eating
can do to your hemoglobin.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Ah, I don't think we ever ought to eat again.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
We don't have to go that far kitting well, Thank
goodness for that a bod Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Why don't you run upstairs and get your father's tuxedo
like a good boy?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Okay, what does he want to do that for? I'll
bring it right down dad, Honey, I don't need We're.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Going to fix it for you, father.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
But it doesn't need fixing, of course it does. All
it needs is to have the button move.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Damn having the button moved isn't going to make the
shoulders any looser. But are you gonna loosen Daddy's shoulders?
We're gonna loosen everything, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
There isn't any reason. But but why can't you learn
to walk down the stairs?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
I thought you were in a hurry for what.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I'm not going anywhere, all.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Right, dear, slip it on.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I don't want to slip it on. Yeah, honey, you
don't know anything about ordering tuxedos.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
And of course I do put it on there.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Mommy fixes my dresses all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Dresses are different. This is a job for a tailor.
I mean, all it needs is to have the button
move there.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
You see, Beddy, it's much too tight as the shoulders,
isn't it. It's tight other places too, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
If I just stay on this day, angel.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
The dinners tomorrow night, and no diet is going to
make that coat fit in twenty four hours.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
But all it needs we'll have to.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Let out the seam in the back. Go ahead, Bud,
what open the seam in the back?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Honey? Turn around, Jim, Honey, if you'll own.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
All right, Bud like this good?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Margaret?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Doesn't that feel better?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
It certainly looks better.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Quite sure, dear. Now the seam's on the side.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
We'll take it easy, will you, Bud?
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Okay, Dad, I'll get the one over here.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Benny, you're tearing it, I am Why can't I hear something?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Your angel?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
No, honey, don't you think you've done enough to this
poor colt? Uh?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Not quite? But I think we ought to remove the sleeves.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
What for?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
We'll explain the whole thing. Come out the time, dear,
go ahead, children, Oh.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Bud, will you Margaret? They've ruined the whole stop it.
Bet you didn't have to pull the pocket off.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
It looked a little tight.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Honey. Look at this thing. You'll never be able to
fix it.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It does look a little ray good, doesn't it.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
I'll see who's out the door.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Look what she did with his pocket? She ripped the
whole front of the coat.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
What mean you hit the pockets in the bottom?
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Guy?
Speaker 3 (24:28):
You keep away from me.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I don't know what got into you, any of you.
Now I'll have to buy a new tuxedo.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Oh, dear, isn't that too bad?
Speaker 1 (24:40):
We're awfully sorry, father.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
You sound awfully sorry.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Dad, it's mister Manassian, the cleaner.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Wonder what he wants.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Come on in, mister Manassian.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
Thank you, mister Anderson. I was just something happened.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
I don't know. I think my whole family's gone a
little nuts.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
But I didn't do anything, Daddy.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
You didn't have to, mister Manassi. And you're a tailor.
Do you think you can fix my tuxedo? Your tuxedo
doesn't need fixing? Then what that's what I came to
tell you last night. By mistake, I brought you Hector
Smith's tuxedo.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
Oh no, so all that meal time misery was caused
(25:38):
by a case of mistaken identity. Well, you can't blame
father too much, after all, tuxedos do look pretty much alike.
And come to think of it, the woman of the
house has a very similar problem. Consider coffee, for example,
there are so many brands.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
How's a galdino? Which one has the most in flavor?
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Well, just remember this, in this nation of coffee lovers,
more people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than
any other brand at any price. Why because it's the
only coffee with that wonderful, good to the last drop flavor.
This weekend then start enjoying our Maxwell House. Savor that
(26:18):
satisfying taste of contentment in every fragrance steaming cup. You'll say,
Maxwell House has the flavor for you and your family.
As for value, well, just count all the truly good
cups you get from each pound.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
You'll know Maxwell.
Speaker 7 (26:34):
House is today's coffee.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Buy so for the most in flavor, the most in value.
Speaker 7 (26:39):
Look for the sign of good coffee, the big white cup,
and drop on the familiar blue tin of Maxwell House.
Take home the one coffee that's always good. To the
last drop.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Another day has rolled away, and the Chamber of Commerce
dinner has gone down in history, not, however, without a
late evening report to his family by the Toastmaster General
mister James Anderson like this, Yes, sir, it was a
very unusual dinner, very unusual.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
Did they have fenna, Greek seeds?
Speaker 3 (27:16):
They had everything? And doctor Clark told Hector Smith.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
How did Hector like his new tuxedo?
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Dear h he liked it fine, anyway, Doctor Clark told
Hector did it cost very much? Father? Let's not go
into that now. Doctor Clark said, did doctor Clark look
like a rabbit? Be happy? Will you please? You know.
Come to think of it, he did.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Well, as long as missus Clark is happy.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Of course, he made a great deal of sense. He
explained how practically every human ailment can be traced directly
to improper dietary habits, and the health dinner we had tonight.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
The excuse me, Dad, would you like to split the
last hamburger with me?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Uh, that's a good idea. May have a mustard? Please?
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Here you are, father, Thank you have a little more
pic lily, Dad.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
All right, where was I Clark's dinner?
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Oh? Well, we started with raw cabbage soaked and olive boil,
and then we had some stewed kale seasoned with fenny
Greek seeds. You know what's the funny thing about those seeds?
You never even know that donuts cat Clark explained, if
you shut them up real fine. Join us again next
(28:48):
week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring
Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and the
Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast where Ted Donaldson, His Bug,
Dorothy Lovett, Rhoda Williams, Norma, Jean Nilson, and Yours truly
Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good
luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand
of coffee. Always good to the last drop, Father knows Best,
(29:12):
was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed J.
Speaker 7 (29:23):
Join Mister Keene, Tracer of Lost Persons, Tonight on NBC
Transcribed mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the
whole world?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Yes, it's father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert
Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbors.
The Anderson brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee
that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other
brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House always good
to the last drop. Conversation is a peculiar art, and
(00:51):
probably the only one divided into genders. There is, for example,
male conversation, such as an earnest, intelligent discussion of politics
or science. Then there is female conversation such as Millicent
Murgatroyd's latest hairdo, and the restraining influence of the two
way stretch. When it comes to universal conversation, however, there
(01:12):
is one item that stands head and shoulders above the rest.
That's why perhaps we find the Andersons, male and female,
large and small, gather it in the kitchen and diving
headlong into a discussion on the world's most popular subject,
food like this. I tell you, Margaret, that's the trouble
with the world today. We're digging a grave with our teeth. Yes, dear,
(01:33):
it's an established fact that food has killed more people
than anything else in the world.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Yeah, but what a way to die?
Speaker 5 (01:40):
But well, holy cow dead.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
You have to eat, not the way you do.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
He eats like a pig.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Okay, Kathy, just you wait, that's all.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, that's what very said. Never mind, not had don't
drag me into it.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
But you said, Kathy, I was referring to the things
we eat, rather than the manner in which we eat them.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Don't pigs eat hamburgers?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
That isn't the point, don't they?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Mommy? I imagine they would if they had the chance,
then bite.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
It's like a pig.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Do I have to stand here?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Of course, not sit there? Holy cow? Now, if I
may continue with what I was saying, Jim, don't.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
You think we'd better start from the beginning.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
What do you mean from the beginning?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, you just don't come up with a statement like
that out of.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
A clear sky, a statement like what we eat too much?
That isn't what I said. What I said is, do
you realize that over ninety percent of the people today
eat food that is lacking in lezethin, cholesterol and other
substances necessary to the maintenance of proper health.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Jim, do you we don't even know what they are.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
There?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You see, I wouldn't eat him if I didn't know
what they were.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Of course you would. You eat them every day.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I thought you said we didn't.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I said, you don't eat enough of them, enough of
what food's containing lezifin and lesterol, Margaret, haven't you been.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Listening, of course, dear with baited bread.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
The foods we generally eat over cooked vegetables, potatoes, steaks,
chops of When will gonna be ready in about ten minutes?
Yod certainly smells delicious.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Oh, he serves you right.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
I've told you a million times not to snoop around
the stove when I'm trying to work.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Well, I just wanted to see what were we talking about.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
You were talking about food and why people of a
nineties shouldn't have in it.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I never said anything like that. I said, ninety percent
of the people shouldn't have any Ninety percent of the
people today don't eat.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Properly because they use their fingers for a pusher, because.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
They eat food that doesn't have the proper nutritional value.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Jim, are you trying to say that I'm not giving
you and the children the proper sort of food.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Oh no, honey, I well.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
We have three normal, healthy children and we don't need
any of that.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Let's get thin and cut her all.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Leeds a thin and cholesterol, well, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And if you aren't satisfied with the way.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
I mon, if you're misunderstanding the whole thing. I never
said that children weren't healthy.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
If Kathy was any healthier, we'd all have to move out.
But well, good gravy. The way she tears abound.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I am merely trying to point out that the American
people are eating themselves into oblivion.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Where's they at?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Kathy? Go wash your face. I just did wash it again.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, go ahead, Jim. She whizz Every time there's an argument,
I have to go wash my day.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
There isn't any argument. I'm merely telling your mother.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
About a book where finally, what kind of a book?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Dad?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
All you have to do is mention something around here,
and everybody thinks it's an argument.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
No, no one said anything about an argument.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
Jim, Kathy did what kind of a book? Dad?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
He very distinctly said we were having an argument.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Don't pay any attention to her father. She just doesn't
like to wash your face.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Well, that's no reason for her to accuse me of
starting an argument.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
What kind of an argument, Dad?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
What I mean?
Speaker 5 (05:12):
What kind of a book?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Dad? What kind of what book?
Speaker 7 (05:15):
I don't know?
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Jim, won't you please start from the beginning, Honey, what
is all this nonsense about food and books?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
It isn't nonsense, Margaret. It's a very good book called
Learn to Live and like it. Matter of fact, it's brilliant, Betty.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Please turn the heat down on the potatoes, you bet.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Doctor Milford Clark is one of America's leading authorities on
dietary deficiencies, and he proves conclusively that civilized people don't
know how to eat.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You mean, he'd rather we ate our food under the table.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Than on it.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I mean, honey, have you ever used feni Greek seeds?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Well?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Feni Greek seeds? You use them for cooking?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Not in this house.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well, there's no need to get upset. There's nothing horrible
about them.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
What are they?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Funny Greek seeds? That's an herb containing kaline, a lipotrophic
substance used clinically to dissolve deposits of cholesterol. So what
else is now? But if you listened a little more
and talk a little less, you might learn something about seeds,
(06:24):
about a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Did I miss anything? Is the argument?
Speaker 6 (06:27):
All over?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
There wasn't any argument.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
How do you like my face? Now?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
It's fine. It's probably one of the finest faces I've
ever seen.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
My daddy ask him about the Upper Creek seeds. So why, Bud,
you told everybody else about faw kathy?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Why don't you go wash your hands?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
If I just got through.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I had kathy?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Gee whiz, Someday I'll washed once you walk in, and
I'll disappear.
Speaker 6 (06:58):
Jim, what did doctor carr them the hoosy what seeds
have to do with us?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
They are not whosy what seeds? They're fella Greek seeds.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
Oh, I beg your pardon? How could I positively be
so stupid?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And they've got plenty to do with us. Fena Greek
seeds are the basis of the diet. Doctor Clark is
going to explain that the Chamber of Commerce dinner.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh that's who he is?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Who is he?
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Well, let's not rush things, Angel, We'll get our information
one step at a time.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
If we live that long.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Now see here, Bud, if we lives how long? Kathy?
I thought I told you to wash your hands.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
But they just remembered they got washed while it was
doing what face, Margaret? Leave the child alone, Jim. She
isn't getting anything any more confused than it always is.
I didn't even say anything.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Who has, Dear? Would you like to tell us about
doctor Clark?
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Or shall we finish our game of twenty questions?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I don't know why you're making all this fuss about
a perfectly simple little thing. I swear I don't. Doctor
Clark is the guest of honor at the dinner Saturday night,
and I have to introduce it. That's all there is
to it.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
So you read his book.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Sounds more like he's swallowed it, all right, Bud, That
does it?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
From now on the vell excuse.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Me, Dad, I have to come back here, but it's
the front door.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
And I have I said come back here, but you.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Always told me I'm supposed to drop everything on the
front door.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
You see who's at the front door like a good girl.
But I have certain little things to discuss. Go ahead, kitten, yes,
daddy scab Now, mister James Anderson Jr.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
Jim, I don't think I can stand this another minute.
Will you please finish about doctor Carr.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I'd rather finish about my wise cracking son.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
I'll be glad to wait that well.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Doctor Clark is a friend of mister.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Edwards, the president of the Chamber of Commerce.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Right, and he has a diet which he claims will
add twenty years as the normal span of a man's life.
Mister Edward, doctor Clark. Oh, so they figured that the
dinner would be a good place to show what a
wonderful diet it is. He asked me if i'd be
willing to say a few words of introduction, Doctor Crocton, No, honey,
mister Edwards did.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Go ahead there.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
That's all there is to it, except that it's a wonderful.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Diet with fena group seed.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Fella greek. See. I didn't say anything good, you see.
The doctor explains in his book that life is maintained
in direct ratio to the lack of obesity in man now.
A diet of raw food such as kale, cabbage, roy egg, yolk,
olive oil and liver fat will tend to discourage any
(09:36):
inclination toward over eating, and how and he claimed it
was the cleaner.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Mister Manathian, No, doctor, he brought tex FEEDO. Do you
want me to take it upstairs? Jim?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
You didn't have that horrible old thing cleaned again.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
There's nothing horrible about it, but we agreed the last
time that you needed a new one.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And if you keep going to.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
These dinners, what's the matter? Hold it up?
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Kathy?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yes, Mommy, yeah, something wrong?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, it looks fine.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
That's what I told you. All it needed was a
good cleaning.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Should I take it up stairs?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Don't take it? Kitting. I want to see if he
moved the button far enough.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Jim.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
There's any connection between moving a button and doctor Clark's
reducing diet.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Is there?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
It isn't a reducing diet, Margaret. It's a health diet.
And I certainly think that after fifteen years, had I
have a right to have a button move? Yes, dear,
it isn't that I'm putting on any weight. It's just that,
after it's been cleaned so much, it's h what's the
matter of Dad?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Can't you get it button?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I can button it fine.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
He just can't breathe, that's all, Jim.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I told you.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
There's nothing wrong with the tuxedo. You must have moved
the button the wrong way. Sure, but I.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Was agreeing with your dad. Move the button the wrong way.
That's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It looks real, pretty definite, Daddy.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yes, well, let's forget about the tuxedo for the time being.
Getting back to doctor Clark. Did I think we'll all
be much better? Did you say something, honey, Jim?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
You're not going on a reducing diet, are.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
You, Margaret? I told you it is not a reducing diet. Naturally,
it keeps you in condition, but it's not a reducing diet.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
You won't be able to stay on a two minutes
kale and cabbage and drags.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
I think we'll all do very well on doctor Clark's diet, Jim. I, ah,
holy cow, Dad, Bobby, you don't expect us to eat
that stuff, what stuff, liver fat. The very least we
can do is try it.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Angel. We have three growing children.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And they'll grow healthier and live longer on Doctor Clark's diet.
They'll learn to live and.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Like it jumping creepers.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Raw egg yilk. And since there's no time like the present,
we'll start with dinner.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You mean this dinner?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Now right now, the.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Way Roggs for dinner, you're not going to Jim, I
have the entire meal.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
For pay no, honey. But you've got to be firm
with these things.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Well, I spend a whole day fixing your favorite meat law.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Meatlaw and scot up potatoes, Margaret. When you decide on
a thing like this, you've got to go through with it.
And we're all going on the Doctor Clark diet. First
thing in the morning.
Speaker 7 (12:54):
How would you like to have dinner at the Anderson
Home tomorrow night? Well, fenigreg seeds are no fenogreek seeds.
You can bet there's one meal time pleasure the Andersons
will never give up, and that's the enjoyment of coffee,
really good coffee, in other words, our Maxwell House. And
you know, there's a whole world of difference between rich,
(13:15):
truly satisfying Maxwell House coffee and just coffee. The difference
is that wonderful, good to the last drop flavor, a
flavor no other coffee has ever matched, a flavor that
belongs to Maxwell House alone. Now, the reason no other
coffee tastes like Maxwell House is that no other coffee
is made like Maxwell House. You see coffee beans grow
(13:37):
all over the world, and there are countless grades and
varieties of them. But on the mild high plateaus of
Latin America there grow a few rare choice kinds of
coffee beans rich in flavor, bursting with goodness. And it
is these extra flavorful varieties that first and foremost are
chosen for our Maxwell House blend. For example, fancy Manizales
(13:59):
coffee are selected for fragrant mellowness, superb Medlins for extra richness,
choice Buka among us coffees for fine full body. Yes,
it is these fine vintage coffees blended in just the
right proportions that create that world famous good to the
last drop flavor. A flavor is so good that more
(14:21):
people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than any
other brand at any price. So how about it for
the most in downright coffee drinking enjoyment, Try our Maxwell House,
won't you. It's the one, the only coffee that's always
good to the last drop.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
A day is passed since last we saw the Andersons,
one day, twenty two minutes, fourteen seconds, and three meals.
It's dinner time again, and once more the family has
gathered about the festive board. The table is piled high
with all sorts of tasty things, raw carrots, celery tail, cabbage.
Well it isn't exactly festive, I guess, but they're certainly bored.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Like this mother.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
What is it, Betty?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Is my nose twitching?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
There why I feel just.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Like a rabbit?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You look like a rabbit? Do I bet your brother's
idea of a joke? Kitten? Have another carrot?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Jimmy Waddy says, if you eat rabbit food, you get figures.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
That's very interesting, all right, bud, but let's have it.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
Oh, it isn't anything, Dad, I was just thinking of
a rabbit's tail. We sure look funny if never mind, but.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
We wouldn't we.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I don't want to look like a rabbit.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It's an amazing thing. A genius like doctor Clark devotes
in entire life to the development of a diet. But
you'd rather take the word of a nine year old
pif squeak like Jimmy Woody, he's ten. I beg your pardon,
a ten year old piff squeak?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Saw there? How long do we have to eat these
horrible things?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
That's not the proper attitude, Betty. In two or three
weeks we'll get used to the clock diet and we'll
get along fine.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
In two or three weeks will be dead.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
But if you aren't happy with your dinner, yes, have
some raw eggiel, Thank you, Betty.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It's better not eating raw cabbage.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Jim, you might not believe this, but I went to
three markets this afternoon and they were all fresh out
of centigreek seeds.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
You know, somehow I get the impression that you aren't
particularly fond of this diet.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Why, Jim, whatever made you think a thing like that?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
You don't seem to realize that this is a very
serious matter.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Who doesn't?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Do you know what doctor Clark says? He says that
the American diet contains such a large percentage of residue
and alkaline minerals that the racial carbohydrates is shockingly disproportionate.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I don't know. That certainly makes you stop and think,
doesn't It.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Doesn't make me stop and think.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
But this is a diet, not a miracle. Yeah, I
make facts. For example, what do we know about fats?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
May I please be excused? No?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Did you if she's finished with her dinner. Why can't
she be excused?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Because this is very interesting? Did you know that the
digestibility of fats depends upon one the melting point, two
whether or not it supontifies properly, and three to what
degree it resists the digestive ferments? Well? Did you?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I didn't you see? Now? May I be excuse.
Speaker 7 (17:52):
Cathy?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
As you grow older, you will find all this very important.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
If I don't get some food, I'm not going to
get any older.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
What was that? Oh?
Speaker 5 (18:02):
I said?
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Now that summer is almost over, it's sure getting.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
Colder, Yes, sir, sure is.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
May I have my coffee? Please? Thank you. The trouble
with the people in this family is that they don't
want to learn anything. All they care about are strapless
evening gowns and gasoline scooters and hamburgers. Thank you, kitten,
then hamburgers. Now me, I have excuse Kathy. You're a
sensible little girl. Wouldn't you like to hear what doctor
Clark has to say about Corinth? My?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's certainly getting late, isn't it, Margaret.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I'd better get started on the dishes or we'll be
here all night. But I don't hurry. Dare you just
sit there and enjoy your coffee while we do the dishes.
Are you coming, Betty?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
It isn't my turned? Oh excuse me, father, I have
to help mother with the dishes.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Want me to dry?
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Please?
Speaker 6 (18:55):
All right?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Come along?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Can I do something?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Sure you can keep father company?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
She will.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
We won't be very long, dear.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Oh, don't worry about us. I'm going to tell Kathy
all about corn. You do that you see kitting corrants
or dried seedless grapes and contrasted dry seedy grapes are
poor in water? Seventy n.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Oh, what a relief.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
What's the matter with dad? Doesn't he feel well?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
He feels fine, But it's just that well, he.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Becomes so interested in the people he has to introduce
these dinners that he gets carried away.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
He should be, but that's not very respectful.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
I'm sorry, But good grief, Mom.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Why should we have to eat all that junk just
because he's interested.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It's all good, healthy food, Dear. It won't do you
the least bit of harm.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
It won't do me any good either. Phonograph seeds.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Mother, What if he had to introduce he's a fan dancer?
Would we have to run around, really, Dear, Well, then
why do we have to eat rabbit food? We're not
going to We're going to put an end to this
foolishness once and for all.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
How do we do that.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
We're going to get rid of your father's tuxedo.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
What's the tuxedo got to do with it?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Father said it wasn't a reducing diet. We're all on
this horrible diet because your father's tuxedo won't button.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
I still don't get it, Bud.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Your father's had that same tuxedo for fifteen years and
he just won't admit that he's put on a little weight.
But he said he do you like eating that rabbit food?
Speaker 5 (20:36):
Of course not, Bud. What's up, Doc? No?
Speaker 6 (20:42):
All right, then you both got to help me get
rid of that miserable tuxedo.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Mother, you've always said, well, gosh, if dad really likes.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
It, don't forget to order some liver fat for tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
All right, Dear, what do you want us to do?
Speaker 5 (21:01):
We won't have to shoot anybody, will We.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Very simple.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
We're just going to make a few alterations. But we
don't know how to alter a tuxedo.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
And when we get through, no one will be able
to fix it.
Speaker 5 (21:15):
How's that going to get us off the diet.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
We're going to rip that old tuxedo to shreds, and
your father will have to buy anyone one that fits him.
Oh then we'll see how long he worries about whether
or not his food suponifies. Mom?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
What if he finds out?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
He won't find out, but.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
If he does, oh well, I can always move in
with Janie Leggis.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Don't forget we're going to fix it.
Speaker 7 (21:41):
Mom.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Maybe we bought it well, dear, have you and Kathy
fixed up on menu for tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I was just telling her about the horrible things eating
can do to your hemoglobin.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Ah, I don't think we ever ought to eat again.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
We don't have to go that far kitting well, Thank
goodness for that a bod Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Why don't you run upstairs and get your father's tuxedo
like a good boy?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Okay, what does he want to do that for? I'll
bring it right down dad, Honey, I don't need We're.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Going to fix it for you, father.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
But it doesn't need fixing, of course it does. All
it needs is to have the button move.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Damn having the button moved isn't going to make the
shoulders any looser. But are you gonna loosen Daddy's shoulders?
We're gonna loosen everything, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
There isn't any reason. But but why can't you learn
to walk down the stairs?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
I thought you were in a hurry for what.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I'm not going anywhere, all.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Right, dear, slip it on.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I don't want to slip it on. Yeah, honey, you
don't know anything about ordering tuxedos.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
And of course I do put it on there.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Mommy fixes my dresses all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Dresses are different. This is a job for a tailor.
I mean, all it needs is to have the button
move there.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
You see, Beddy, it's much too tight as the shoulders,
isn't it. It's tight other places too, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
If I just stay on this day, angel.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
The dinners tomorrow night, and no diet is going to
make that coat fit in twenty four hours.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
But all it needs we'll have to.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Let out the seam in the back. Go ahead, Bud,
what open the seam in the back?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Honey? Turn around, Jim, Honey, if you'll own.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
All right, Bud like this good?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Margaret?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Doesn't that feel better?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
It certainly looks better.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Quite sure, dear. Now the seam's on the side.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
We'll take it easy, will you, Bud?
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Okay, Dad, I'll get the one over here.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Benny, you're tearing it, I am Why can't I hear something?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Your angel?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
No, honey, don't you think you've done enough to this
poor colt? Uh?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Not quite? But I think we ought to remove the sleeves.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
What for?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
We'll explain the whole thing. Come out the time, dear,
go ahead, children, Oh.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Bud, will you Margaret? They've ruined the whole stop it.
Bet you didn't have to pull the pocket off.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
It looked a little tight.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Honey. Look at this thing. You'll never be able to
fix it.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It does look a little ray good, doesn't it.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
I'll see who's out the door.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Look what she did with his pocket? She ripped the
whole front of the coat.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
What mean you hit the pockets in the bottom?
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Guy?
Speaker 3 (24:28):
You keep away from me.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I don't know what got into you, any of you.
Now I'll have to buy a new tuxedo.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Oh, dear, isn't that too bad?
Speaker 1 (24:40):
We're awfully sorry, father.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
You sound awfully sorry.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Dad, it's mister Manassian, the cleaner.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Wonder what he wants.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Come on in, mister Manassian.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
Thank you, mister Anderson. I was just something happened.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
I don't know. I think my whole family's gone a
little nuts.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
But I didn't do anything, Daddy.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
You didn't have to, mister Manassi. And you're a tailor.
Do you think you can fix my tuxedo? Your tuxedo
doesn't need fixing? Then what that's what I came to
tell you last night. By mistake, I brought you Hector
Smith's tuxedo.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
Oh no, so all that meal time misery was caused
(25:38):
by a case of mistaken identity. Well, you can't blame
father too much, after all, tuxedos do look pretty much alike.
And come to think of it, the woman of the
house has a very similar problem. Consider coffee, for example,
there are so many brands.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
How's a galdino? Which one has the most in flavor?
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Well, just remember this, in this nation of coffee lovers,
more people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than
any other brand at any price. Why because it's the
only coffee with that wonderful, good to the last drop flavor.
This weekend then start enjoying our Maxwell House. Savor that
(26:18):
satisfying taste of contentment in every fragrance steaming cup. You'll say,
Maxwell House has the flavor for you and your family.
As for value, well, just count all the truly good
cups you get from each pound.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
You'll know Maxwell.
Speaker 7 (26:34):
House is today's coffee.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Buy so for the most in flavor, the most in value.
Speaker 7 (26:39):
Look for the sign of good coffee, the big white cup,
and drop on the familiar blue tin of Maxwell House.
Take home the one coffee that's always good. To the
last drop.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Another day has rolled away, and the Chamber of Commerce
dinner has gone down in history, not, however, without a
late evening report to his family by the Toastmaster General
mister James Anderson like this, Yes, sir, it was a
very unusual dinner, very unusual.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
Did they have fenna, Greek seeds?
Speaker 3 (27:16):
They had everything? And doctor Clark told Hector Smith.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
How did Hector like his new tuxedo?
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Dear h he liked it fine, anyway, Doctor Clark told
Hector did it cost very much? Father? Let's not go
into that now. Doctor Clark said, did doctor Clark look
like a rabbit? Be happy? Will you please? You know.
Come to think of it, he did.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Well, as long as missus Clark is happy.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Of course, he made a great deal of sense. He
explained how practically every human ailment can be traced directly
to improper dietary habits, and the health dinner we had tonight.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
The excuse me, Dad, would you like to split the
last hamburger with me?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Uh, that's a good idea. May have a mustard? Please?
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Here you are, father, Thank you have a little more
pic lily, Dad.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
All right, where was I Clark's dinner?
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Oh? Well, we started with raw cabbage soaked and olive boil,
and then we had some stewed kale seasoned with fenny
Greek seeds. You know what's the funny thing about those seeds?
You never even know that donuts cat Clark explained, if
you shut them up real fine. Join us again next
(28:48):
week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring
Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and the
Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast where Ted Donaldson, His Bug,
Dorothy Lovett, Rhoda Williams, Norma, Jean Nilson, and Yours truly
Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good
luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand
of coffee. Always good to the last drop, Father knows Best,
(29:12):
was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed J.
Speaker 7 (29:23):
Join Mister Keene, Tracer of Lost Persons, Tonight on NBC
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