October 2, 2025 • 29 mins
A sitcom that portrays the everyday life of a typical American family, focusing on the father's guidance and wisdom. The show combines humor with moral lessons.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Stay tuned now for Robert Young starring in Father Knows Best,
which follows this listening reminder.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Tomorrow evening on the NBC Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Network, you'll enjoy The Bob Hope Show as film star
Tarne Power joins the program as special guest in an
hilarious takeoff on a motion picture.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
As well as guest.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Tarone Power, the Bob Hope Show will feature singing star
Margaret Whiting and the music of Less Brown's Band of Renown.
Later tomorrow evening, listen to the scintillating Phil Harris and
Alice Fay Show, a riot of laughs from beginning to end.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Listen and laugh.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Tomorrow evening when it's time for both The Bob Hope
Show and The Phil Harris Alice Fay Show, and now
here Father Knows Best On NBC.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Now, Listen to Father Knows Best Transcribe, starring Robert Young
as Father Right, Welcome to Springfield. In another half hour,
is it with the folks in the White Frame House
on Mapleson, Sit back and enjoy life with the Andersons Kathy, Budd, Betty,
(01:03):
Margaret and Jim as the head of this typical American
household again sets out to prove that father knows, Bessy.
(01:38):
There was a good bit of excitement and no little
dismay stirred up at the white frame house on Maple
Street at noon today. On the surface, things seemed fairly
normal and peaceful about the Only indication of anything out
of the ordinary was expressed in the casual remark of
Jim's as he entered the kitchen like this, Hello, Honey,
(01:59):
what's it's the matter with Bud? With Bud, he's out
in front, leaning against the mailbox, staring off into space.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I didn't even know he was home from school yet.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
The strange thing is that he didn't budge an inch
when I said lunch was probably ready.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
That is strange, Honey. Would you fill the water glasses?
The picture's right there?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
Usually when I mentioned the word food to but I
quickly jumped to one side so as not to get
caught in a stampede.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Well, I wish you'd come in and eat. Everything's ready, Betty, Cathy.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Bud mumble something about waiting for the mail carrier.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I wonder what crazy thing he's sent in for this time.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Not much is going to cost me, Betty Kathy, Lunch
wouldn't be so.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Bad if he didn't always have everything.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Since cod sometimes I think COD stands for clobber old dad.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Oh, and that reminds me. I send your old leather
chair out to be recovered, but it won't cost much.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
You did what well?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
It was all sunking down in the middle, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I spent twenty years getting that chair to fit me. Now,
just when it's getting nicely broken in broken down?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
You mean it was a disgrace. You'll have to tell
me one thing though. Do you want it done in
brown again or would you like red leather this time?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Well, if it has to be done, I've always sort
of liked the idea of red leather.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Oh that's good, because that's what I told him to do.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh you did.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
As long as this is your chair, I want you
to be happy with it, Betty.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Don't screeze. Mother, I'm coming, but don't fix much lunch
for me. I'm getting so fat, I'm positively Hello, father ugly.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
I wish you wouldn't refer to me as father ugly.
What makes you think you're fat?
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Well, my stars, I've gone up from one hundred and
eleven pounds to one hundred and thirteen horrors.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
We'll have to widen the doorways so you can get through.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
What's Kathy doing well, I can tell you, but you'll
never in the world believe it.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
With her, I'd believe anything.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
She's upstairs cleaning Bud's room for him.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Cleaning Bud's room.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I withdraw my statement.
Speaker 7 (04:15):
She actually is, I mean, actually, what's going.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
On around here anyway?
Speaker 5 (04:20):
Bud turning down food, Kathy cleaning his room. Strange things
are happening.
Speaker 7 (04:26):
She says, Bud's paying her for it.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Now I've heard everything. Maybe I should have stayed in
town until things blow over.
Speaker 8 (04:34):
Well, both of.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Those children had better get in here and eat. They'll
never make it back to school in time.
Speaker 8 (04:39):
Kathy, I'm Cammy.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Oh, don't give me any of that salad. Mother, The
dressing's fattening. Oh piffle, Eat what's on your plate? I'm
not running a restaurant.
Speaker 7 (04:50):
Hurry up, Kathy, I'm Cammy.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Hi Daddy, Oh kitten, you sound pretty cheerful today.
Speaker 7 (04:56):
I ought to. I'm getting rich.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Well good, I'm glad we've got one wealthy member in
this family. How much is Bud paying you? All the
bubblegum you can chew?
Speaker 7 (05:07):
Heck, no, a dollar a week?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
A dollar?
Speaker 5 (05:11):
My gosh, he doesn't make a whole lot more than
that himself. What does that drug store job pay him
two to three dollars a week?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I don't know, if you ask me, he's missing a
few of his marbles. Well, I wish he'd come in
before he misses his lunch too, kitting.
Speaker 8 (05:24):
Are you sure Bud's paying you a dollar?
Speaker 7 (05:27):
Yep?
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Pass the jelly, Betty, you must know where the body's buried.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Huh?
Speaker 7 (05:33):
How did you talk Bud into this dollar deal? I
didn't talk him into it. It was his idea, Are
you sure?
Speaker 8 (05:41):
Uh? Huh?
Speaker 9 (05:42):
He said he needed to keep out of a higher
income tax bracket.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
That he should worry about, Betty, How about a cinnamon roll?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
Don't you realize that each one of those rolls is
simply an utterly crammed full of carbohydrates.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Really, I thought those were raisins?
Speaker 8 (06:06):
Father?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Please?
Speaker 8 (06:08):
Hey Mom, what time does that don Malman get here? Anyway?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Maybe he's already been here and didn't leave. Anything could
be better? Sit down, neat, I'm not hungry.
Speaker 8 (06:19):
Just give me a couple of those rolls and some
ham and potato salad and beans, and jelly and stuff.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Uh, the poor kid hasn't got any appetite at all.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
Where's my dollar, Bud?
Speaker 8 (06:34):
I can't give it to you yet. I'd like some milk, please.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
I got your room all clean, and I want my dollar.
Speaker 8 (06:41):
You'll get it as soon as my money comes in,
as soon as what money comes in from the government.
Those watermelon pickles there.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I'll try a couple from the government.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
No wonder they can't get the budget ballanced.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
I want my dollar, Bud.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Look, shrimp. If you don't pipe down, I won't let
you talk on the tape recorder.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What tape recorder?
Speaker 8 (07:03):
Well, I haven't got it yet. I just sent in
for it a couple of days ago.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Just a minute, Bud, how are you getting all this
money exactly? What kind of an arrangement do you have
with the government.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
Well, you see, Claude Messner and I.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
I might have known Claude was mixed up in this
some way.
Speaker 8 (07:19):
Claude and I got to talking about income tax and
Claude said that I'd have to start making out an
income tax thing now that I'm working steady at the
drug store.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
I see, you don't have to file an income tax return.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
Stupid I'm working, aren't I I've got income, haven't I?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
What income?
Speaker 6 (07:39):
Those two or three dollars you get for burning coasted
cheese sandwiches at the drug store.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Wait, let's hear Bud's story. This intrigues me.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Well, I'll gladly listen to anyone who's got a system
whereby the government pays you instead of you paying them. Well,
I just wish you'd brought this up before March fifteenth.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I could have used it.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
Well the way I here's my dollar? Will you piped
down my turn? Blow?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Look, sonny boy, this is going to be quite a
shock to you. But the income tax is something you
have to pay, not get, not.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
The way Claude figures it.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I may have been misjudging this, boy.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Go on.
Speaker 8 (08:21):
According to Claude, I ought to get a refund of Well,
wait a minute, I got the blank in my pocket here.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I'd love to see it.
Speaker 8 (08:29):
It's kind of wrinkled up. Where are we now?
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (08:33):
Yeah, right here? I get a refund of one thousand
and seventy one dollars and twenty eight cents.
Speaker 7 (08:40):
What I'm going to raise my price to two dollars?
Speaker 8 (08:45):
I told Claude. I thought that was awful high. But
he said, as long as I have it coming, I
might as well take it.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
Uh, just how did Claude arrive at that figure?
Speaker 8 (08:55):
Well, he just worked it out the regular way, and
a line six on line X and subtract line too
and all.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That I know.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
But exactly how did Claude get that figure? That's what
I want to know.
Speaker 7 (09:06):
He ate too many starches.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
All right, you can save that for the souphomore spring follies.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Let's see that blank, Bud.
Speaker 8 (09:18):
Well, Cloud's got it all worked out. See. Here's drugstore
income here, thirty two dollars ninety cents. That includes tips.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I see.
Speaker 8 (09:26):
Cloud says they can be rough on you if you
cheat on your tips.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
He's right.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
Then here's that one hundred dollars savings bond at Maddie
gave me for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You put that under income, Well, it came in.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Uh. What's this item here? Bud lost from storm to
ninety eight?
Speaker 8 (09:46):
Oh that's my baseball mit I lost it in a storm. Oh,
I see, never did find that thing. Anyway, My net
income comes to one hundred and twenty eight dollars and
twenty eight cents. See that. Yeah, Now over here I
put myself down for an exemption, and right here I
(10:08):
put Kathy down as a dependent.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Kathy, whoa boy?
Speaker 7 (10:13):
Am a dependent?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Don't I know it?
Speaker 8 (10:17):
Now? Then we turned back over here.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Wait a minute, how do you figure that you can
claim Kathy as a dependent?
Speaker 8 (10:23):
Well, she's dependent on me for our salary. That's why
I hired her. It was Paud's idea.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I don't doubt that at all.
Speaker 8 (10:34):
He pointed out that even though it costs me a
little money, it was worth several hundred bucks to me
in the long run.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
I'm going to raise my price to three dollars.
Speaker 8 (10:42):
Don't start getting grabby. I'll drop you as a dependent.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Then let's see, now, with two exemptions, that's twelve hundred dollars.
Speaker 8 (10:50):
Yeah, that's the way Claude has it right there.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
See, and your net income is only one hundred and
twenty eight seventy two, which leaves a difference of one thousand,
seventy one dollars and twenty eight cents.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Right now, you haven't figured any actual tax here?
Speaker 8 (11:11):
Well, of course not. I shouldn't have to pay tax
on money, fail me?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Well, no, I guess you're right.
Speaker 8 (11:19):
Do they send that money in cash for check?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I don't know. They never sent me any.
Speaker 8 (11:26):
Day.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Wouldn't you eat just a little something, an apple or
a glass of milk? Oh?
Speaker 6 (11:30):
I haven't time now, mother, I've got to get back
to school early this noon.
Speaker 9 (11:33):
I've decided I'll settle for thirty five cents.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
Look, I can't change it now. It'll throw my whole
income tax off.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
Well, how soon will I get it? As soon as
the mailman brings.
Speaker 8 (11:46):
It, I'll go out and check him again.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Wait a minute, Bud, there's a few things you ought
to know about income tax, and this is a good
time to learn them.
Speaker 8 (11:55):
Claud told me everything. Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Sure.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
In the first place, even if you were supposed to
file a return.
Speaker 8 (12:01):
But I am supposed to.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
No, you're not. You didn't make six hundred dollars.
Speaker 8 (12:05):
I will when you add in my thousand dollars refund.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You can't count that.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
But even if you were supposed to, and even if
it was correct, which it isn't, what you couldn't get
a refund without first sending it in.
Speaker 8 (12:20):
But I did send it in.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
In the second place, you can't list Kathy as a dependent.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
What did you say you.
Speaker 8 (12:27):
Sent it in? Sure?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
You actually send it in?
Speaker 8 (12:32):
Yeah, to the district director of Internal Revenue.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Oh no, isn't that the right place? Oh but Bud,
why don't you check with me before you do these things?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Wouldn't it be funny if they sending that refund?
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Margaret, this is no laughing matter. Do you realize his
name is the same as mine?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Wait a minute, did you sign it is Bud Anderson?
Speaker 8 (13:01):
Of course not James c Anderson.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Did you put the junior on? Oh?
Speaker 8 (13:07):
Claude, thought I ought to leave that off. Sounded too kiddish.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Hooray for Claude.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Oh Jim, what are you so worried about? They can
see that it's all a mistake, sure.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
But it's going to be a pretty suspicious looking kind
of a mistake. They'll get two returns from James c Anderson,
both the same address, both claiming Kathy as a dependent,
both claiming James is an exemption, and one.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Of them asking for a thousand dollars refund.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Well, you can explain it all, can't you.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Sure? But are they going to believe it?
Speaker 5 (13:41):
They're checking everything that looks the least bit suspicious.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Now, well, I think you're just making a mountain out
of a mole skin. Nothing will come of it.
Speaker 8 (13:50):
Oh no, gosh it You don't think they'll siw me
in jail, do you?
Speaker 5 (13:56):
No, of course not, but all the red tape I'll
have to go through with explaining this.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Mm Kathy, go see who that is?
Speaker 8 (14:03):
Okay, gosh, what am I gonna do when my tape
we call it gets here?
Speaker 5 (14:07):
Just send it back and after this, don't send in
for any more things until you've got the money.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
To pay for it.
Speaker 8 (14:13):
Well I thought I would have.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
And don't send in for anything until after you've checked
with me.
Speaker 8 (14:18):
I just hope I don't get arrested. You want bud, Well,
that's what they get all the big gangsters on income tax.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Well, you're not a gangster.
Speaker 8 (14:28):
I hope Claude doesn't sue me.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Why should he sue you?
Speaker 8 (14:31):
I promised him ten dollars for making out my income tax.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Ten dollars.
Speaker 8 (14:37):
Well, sure you pay a man to do yours, don't you?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well, yes, but how much do you pay him? Twenty five?
Speaker 8 (14:44):
But you want to get clawed and say fifteen bucks?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Asked kitten, there's a man here.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
You won't see you see me?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Who is it?
Speaker 7 (14:58):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Said?
Speaker 7 (15:00):
He wanted to ask you something about your tax tax.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Oh no, Margaret, he's here already.
Speaker 10 (15:06):
Hoofs of pod.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Good come back here, don't run down it.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Five, Act two of Father Knows Best in just a moment.
One week from tonight, all of Hollywood's most glamorous personalities
will gather for the fabulous Academy Award Presentations of the
(15:33):
Motion Picture Industry, and NBC will be on hand to
bring you a complete and exclusive report of the proceedings
of the twenty sixth Annual Presentation of the Academy Awards.
You'll hear Donald O'Connor as Master of Ceremonies of the presentations.
You'll hear the five nominated songs sung by your favorite singers.
You'll hear the acceptance speeches of the Oscar winners. Tune
to NBC next Thursday evening for the exclusive NBC broadcast
(15:57):
of the Academy Awards.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Who will win the Oscars?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Listen next Thursday on this NBC station and learn the
answer to that question.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Well, it looks as though the long arm of the
Internal Revenue Department has found its way into the white
frame house on Maple Street. Right now, James Junior, who
filled out an income tax form in a fairly unorthodox
manner has taken refuge in the basement while James Senior
prepares to go into the living room and talk to
the man who has come to see him about his
tax like this.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Well, dear, you can't keep the man waiting all night.
Go in there and talk to him.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
I'm going, I'm going.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
I just want to well organize my thoughts, make a
good presentation of all this.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
All you have to do is just tell the truth.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
I know, but in this case, the truth just sounds
like a flimsy alibi for a clumsy triad getting away
with something.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
Oh it does not. You're just building this up in
your own mind. You haven't done anything wrong.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
I know that, Margaret, I know that, but it's a
funny thing. I almost feel like I have And I'm
afraid I'm going to go in there acting suspicious.
Speaker 7 (17:13):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
The man said he was.
Speaker 7 (17:15):
In a hurry.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
Okay, okay, where's the copy of that income tax blank
that Bud sent in.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I think Bud took it down to the basement with him.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, would you get it for me?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
It might be a good idea to send Bud in
there too.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
One look at Bud.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
We'll explain this mix up quicker than anything I can say.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
All right, I'll get budd You go in there and
start talking.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Okay, Can I come to Dad?
Speaker 6 (17:39):
No, you wait there, Steve, you can get my dollar
from him.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Uh huh. Well how do you do, sir?
Speaker 10 (17:47):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Are you?
Speaker 10 (17:49):
Miss Anderson?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yes?
Speaker 10 (17:52):
I hate to bother you at lunchtime.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Well that's all right, perfectly, all right.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Well, I know it's pretty hard to catch you fellows
so much. I wasn't planning on running away. What I
meant was, actually, there's a simple explanation of this, mister.
Speaker 11 (18:07):
Hay and I think I have one of my cards here.
Speaker 5 (18:10):
Never mind, this whole thing is really a pretty funny story.
Oh yeah, you see, a young friend of my son's,
Claude Messner, appointed himself as my son's personal business manager.
Oh yes, now then, miss Granderson, about your tax Well
(18:31):
that's what I'm coming to this. Claude filled out the
blank and the way he figured. Well, wait, I can
explain this better by showing you the blank.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I've got a copy of it. I'll go get it.
Speaker 10 (18:41):
Well, look, miss Randerson, worry, I'll be back.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
I'm not running away, I know, but as a matter
of fact, I want you to meet Bud because actually
he's more concerned with this than I am.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Oh he is.
Speaker 10 (18:51):
I thought you were the one.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
No, you see there are two James C. Anderson's junior
and senior. That's the whole trouble.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I'll be right back.
Speaker 10 (19:00):
Well, all right, but I wish you'd hurry.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Mm m.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
I forgot my purse, do you know riott? Oh excuse me,
I didn't know anyone was here.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It's quite all right.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Does anyone know you're here? Oh?
Speaker 11 (19:16):
Yes, I I was just talking to mister Anderson. I
didn't mean to make so much fuss. I just wanted
to talk to someone about the chair.
Speaker 7 (19:23):
Oh you mean the leather chair we're having done over.
Speaker 11 (19:26):
Yes, I just wanted to know what kind of tax
you wanted decorat. Yes, there were bronze headed ones on
it before, but I think brass would look better with
the red leather.
Speaker 8 (19:43):
Well you'll have to ask father.
Speaker 11 (19:45):
I could have phoned, but I was in the neighborhood
and I thought you could get a better idea if
you could see the tax yourself.
Speaker 7 (19:50):
Yes, well, I'm sure father will be right. Oh there's
my purse. Look, mister, I'm in a hurry. Would you
give father these letters? They just came Yes, all right,
thanks to just load.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
You're a doll.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Come on, budd, He's not going to arrest you are,
of course.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Well, here we are, mister Haggerty. Sorry to have kept
you waiting. Yes, uh huh, this is my son, James Jr.
Speaker 10 (20:15):
Oh. Yes, so this is the young man who's going
to get the chair.
Speaker 11 (20:19):
Eight what come back here?
Speaker 5 (20:25):
What's the matter with him? I'm afraid your little joke
was too much for him.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But little joke about the chair.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
He's quite emotionally upset over this whole deal. He must
be an extremely delicate child. Well I wouldn't say that.
You should see him eat sometime. Well, now let's get
this straight.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Just twitch.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
One of you is getting the chair. What your wife
told me it was your leather chair, and then you
said you wanted to call your son because.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
He was more Wait a minute, what did you say
leather chair?
Speaker 11 (21:12):
Yeah, certainly I'm not in the wrong house, am I.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
You're the one who's redoing our leather chair.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Well certainly, who did you think I was? You'd be surprised?
Speaker 10 (21:31):
Well, I'm sorry this has gotten so complicated.
Speaker 11 (21:34):
I'm merely dropped by to ask you whether you want
it decorated with bronze or brass tax tax.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Mister Haggerty, excuse me for laughing, but we thought you
were from the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Speaker 10 (21:49):
Internal Revenue.
Speaker 5 (21:50):
It's too long a story to explain.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
But on account of you, my son.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
Is probably holed up in the darkest corner of the
basement believing he's a fugitive from justice.
Speaker 10 (22:01):
Very amusing. Well, now how about it. Do you want
bronze or brass?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
What's that?
Speaker 8 (22:07):
Do you want bronze or brass?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Tax?
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Yeah, that'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
What will sure?
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Oh, you don't know what a relief?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
This will be the bud.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Anything else you want to get straightened out about the chair, mister.
Speaker 11 (22:22):
Hagget, No, no, I've got all the information I'm going
to get.
Speaker 10 (22:29):
I can see that.
Speaker 11 (22:35):
Well, fine, nice to have met you. Yes, eh, oh,
here's your mail. Your daughter handed it to me.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Oh fine, thank you, goodbye, mister Haggerty, goodbye, mister Anderson.
Margaret Margaret, was that a good joke on us? That
wasn't an income tax man, that was the furniture man.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Mister Haggarty, you mean, yeah, well, I couldn't imagine what
was going on in here. Bud shot out of here,
looking why does a ghost? He called Claude on the
phone and told him he'd better get out of town.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh no, where's Bud now?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I don't know. He ran out the back door.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I hope he hasn't gone out of town too.
Speaker 7 (23:24):
He left without paying me my dollar.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Look, kitten, you'd better just write that off as a
bad debt.
Speaker 7 (23:31):
But he promised it to me.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Well, I'll pay it to you this time, but after this,
don't make any more deals with Bud unless you check
with me first.
Speaker 7 (23:41):
Would you like your room clean for a dollar?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
No? No thanks.
Speaker 7 (23:46):
You can use me as a dependent.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
I'd rather not hear any more about that.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Dad.
Speaker 8 (23:55):
Is the coast clear?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Huh?
Speaker 8 (23:58):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Hi, Bud, come on here.
Speaker 8 (24:00):
I saw him leave. What happened? Do you think we've
got a chance, Dad?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Sure, I took care of that baby. I told him off.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
But good.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
Of course, we might have to slip down to Mexico
a low for a few months.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
Mexico.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
He's just kidding you, Bud. That man was just here
to see about recovering your father's leather chair.
Speaker 8 (24:23):
Leather chair? Is that the chair? He was talking about.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
That's all it was, Bud jumping catfish.
Speaker 8 (24:32):
Boy, what a relief.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
What do you have there, Jim? It's Mayo.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Huh oh yeah, I guess Betty brought it in. Let's see.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
Here's one for you, Bud from the Ajax Mail Order House.
Speaker 8 (24:45):
Oh, that's about my tape recorder.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
And this one is oh my gosh, this is from
the Internal Revenue office.
Speaker 8 (24:52):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I was just thinking, you still don't have that little
problem solved?
Speaker 8 (24:57):
Dad? How far is it to Mexic.
Speaker 9 (25:02):
Before Daddy goes any place? I want my money first.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Well, open the letter and see what it says, Jim,
before you start building this up into another big thing.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 8 (25:17):
What's it say? Dad?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Well wait till I look what's.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
In your letter?
Speaker 8 (25:21):
But I've forgot to look.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Well, i'll be darne.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Well, what does the director of Internal Revenue say?
Speaker 8 (25:30):
Dear?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
What does he say?
Speaker 5 (25:36):
He says, please send me cod one number six oh
two tape recorder?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
What but sent the order to them by mistake?
Speaker 4 (25:49):
But what about the income blank?
Speaker 8 (25:51):
I just got it back. I must have sent it
to the Ajax Mail Order House, Dear.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
If I may quote the children, this is sure a
cow razy mixed up house.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
The Andersons will be back in just a moment. Again,
let me remind you about the exclusive NBC radio broadcast
of the Academy Awards next Thursday evening. Your host will
be motion picture star Richard Carlson, and he'll describe this
fabulous night of nights as the spectacle unfolds on stage
in Hollywood. The NBC microphones will pick up the voices
of the stars all America loves as they present Golden
(26:38):
Oscars to twenty five winners. And from New York and Philadelphia,
you'll hear the voices of winners who may be in
those cities only once each year. Is so much talent
gathered together for one broadcast. Hear the excitement, tension, and
surprises of the Academy Awards ceremonies next Thursday evening on
this same NBC station. Well, at last, the hectic noon
(27:07):
hour is over all.
Speaker 8 (27:08):
The mistakes that.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
Were made finally neutralized each other, and the children are
now on their way back to school, and Jim is
about to depart for the office Like this, Well, I
can get back to work now and get a little rest.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Well, we certainly had a comedy of errors going full
blast here.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
I don't see how Bud can get so many things
mixed up so completely.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
He must practice nights.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Well, he's a boy.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I don't know where he.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Gets that ability, certainly not from me.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Well, i'd better be going.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Oh wait a minute, dear, that might be for you.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I hope not.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Hello, Yes, that's right. Oh oh, I see, Well, well
just a minute, I'll ask him, dear. This is about
your tax telling to.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Put the brass headed ones in.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
No, this is the Internal Revenue Office.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
What my gosh, what have I done? Now?
Speaker 4 (28:10):
They want you to drop by there and pay them
some more money.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
More money, mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
When you send in your return, you apparently and closed
that letter I ask you to mail to Aunt Matty.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
They put a stamp on it, so you owe them
three cents.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Join us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson Pava.
Nos Best is an NBC Radio Network production in cooperation
with Cavalier Enterprises. In our cast where Ted Donald's and
his bud Jeene Vander Pyle wrote to williams helen Strom
and Parley Bay Fava, nos Best is based on characters
created by Ed James, written by Paul West and Roswell Rodgers,
(28:56):
directed by Arthur Jacobson and transcribed in Hollywood. Says Bill Mormans, me,
I've played Truth or Consequences with Ralph Edwards on the
(29:18):
NBC Radio network,
Stay tuned now for Robert Young starring in Father Knows Best,
which follows this listening reminder.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Tomorrow evening on the NBC Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Network, you'll enjoy The Bob Hope Show as film star
Tarne Power joins the program as special guest in an
hilarious takeoff on a motion picture.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
As well as guest.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Tarone Power, the Bob Hope Show will feature singing star
Margaret Whiting and the music of Less Brown's Band of Renown.
Later tomorrow evening, listen to the scintillating Phil Harris and
Alice Fay Show, a riot of laughs from beginning to end.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Listen and laugh.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Tomorrow evening when it's time for both The Bob Hope
Show and The Phil Harris Alice Fay Show, and now
here Father Knows Best On NBC.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Now, Listen to Father Knows Best Transcribe, starring Robert Young
as Father Right, Welcome to Springfield. In another half hour,
is it with the folks in the White Frame House
on Mapleson, Sit back and enjoy life with the Andersons Kathy, Budd, Betty,
(01:03):
Margaret and Jim as the head of this typical American
household again sets out to prove that father knows, Bessy.
(01:38):
There was a good bit of excitement and no little
dismay stirred up at the white frame house on Maple
Street at noon today. On the surface, things seemed fairly
normal and peaceful about the Only indication of anything out
of the ordinary was expressed in the casual remark of
Jim's as he entered the kitchen like this, Hello, Honey,
(01:59):
what's it's the matter with Bud? With Bud, he's out
in front, leaning against the mailbox, staring off into space.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I didn't even know he was home from school yet.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
The strange thing is that he didn't budge an inch
when I said lunch was probably ready.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
That is strange, Honey. Would you fill the water glasses?
The picture's right there?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
Usually when I mentioned the word food to but I
quickly jumped to one side so as not to get
caught in a stampede.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Well, I wish you'd come in and eat. Everything's ready, Betty, Cathy.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Bud mumble something about waiting for the mail carrier.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I wonder what crazy thing he's sent in for this time.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Not much is going to cost me, Betty Kathy, Lunch
wouldn't be so.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Bad if he didn't always have everything.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Since cod sometimes I think COD stands for clobber old dad.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Oh, and that reminds me. I send your old leather
chair out to be recovered, but it won't cost much.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
You did what well?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
It was all sunking down in the middle, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I spent twenty years getting that chair to fit me. Now,
just when it's getting nicely broken in broken down?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
You mean it was a disgrace. You'll have to tell
me one thing though. Do you want it done in
brown again or would you like red leather this time?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Well, if it has to be done, I've always sort
of liked the idea of red leather.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Oh that's good, because that's what I told him to do.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh you did.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
As long as this is your chair, I want you
to be happy with it, Betty.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Don't screeze. Mother, I'm coming, but don't fix much lunch
for me. I'm getting so fat, I'm positively Hello, father ugly.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
I wish you wouldn't refer to me as father ugly.
What makes you think you're fat?
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Well, my stars, I've gone up from one hundred and
eleven pounds to one hundred and thirteen horrors.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
We'll have to widen the doorways so you can get through.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
What's Kathy doing well, I can tell you, but you'll
never in the world believe it.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
With her, I'd believe anything.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
She's upstairs cleaning Bud's room for him.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Cleaning Bud's room.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I withdraw my statement.
Speaker 7 (04:15):
She actually is, I mean, actually, what's going.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
On around here anyway?
Speaker 5 (04:20):
Bud turning down food, Kathy cleaning his room. Strange things
are happening.
Speaker 7 (04:26):
She says, Bud's paying her for it.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Now I've heard everything. Maybe I should have stayed in
town until things blow over.
Speaker 8 (04:34):
Well, both of.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Those children had better get in here and eat. They'll
never make it back to school in time.
Speaker 8 (04:39):
Kathy, I'm Cammy.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Oh, don't give me any of that salad. Mother, The
dressing's fattening. Oh piffle, Eat what's on your plate? I'm
not running a restaurant.
Speaker 7 (04:50):
Hurry up, Kathy, I'm Cammy.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Hi Daddy, Oh kitten, you sound pretty cheerful today.
Speaker 7 (04:56):
I ought to. I'm getting rich.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Well good, I'm glad we've got one wealthy member in
this family. How much is Bud paying you? All the
bubblegum you can chew?
Speaker 7 (05:07):
Heck, no, a dollar a week?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
A dollar?
Speaker 5 (05:11):
My gosh, he doesn't make a whole lot more than
that himself. What does that drug store job pay him
two to three dollars a week?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I don't know, if you ask me, he's missing a
few of his marbles. Well, I wish he'd come in
before he misses his lunch too, kitting.
Speaker 8 (05:24):
Are you sure Bud's paying you a dollar?
Speaker 7 (05:27):
Yep?
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Pass the jelly, Betty, you must know where the body's buried.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Huh?
Speaker 7 (05:33):
How did you talk Bud into this dollar deal? I
didn't talk him into it. It was his idea, Are
you sure?
Speaker 8 (05:41):
Uh? Huh?
Speaker 9 (05:42):
He said he needed to keep out of a higher
income tax bracket.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
That he should worry about, Betty, How about a cinnamon roll?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
Don't you realize that each one of those rolls is
simply an utterly crammed full of carbohydrates.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Really, I thought those were raisins?
Speaker 8 (06:06):
Father?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Please?
Speaker 8 (06:08):
Hey Mom, what time does that don Malman get here? Anyway?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Maybe he's already been here and didn't leave. Anything could
be better? Sit down, neat, I'm not hungry.
Speaker 8 (06:19):
Just give me a couple of those rolls and some
ham and potato salad and beans, and jelly and stuff.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Uh, the poor kid hasn't got any appetite at all.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
Where's my dollar, Bud?
Speaker 8 (06:34):
I can't give it to you yet. I'd like some milk, please.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
I got your room all clean, and I want my dollar.
Speaker 8 (06:41):
You'll get it as soon as my money comes in,
as soon as what money comes in from the government.
Those watermelon pickles there.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I'll try a couple from the government.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
No wonder they can't get the budget ballanced.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
I want my dollar, Bud.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Look, shrimp. If you don't pipe down, I won't let
you talk on the tape recorder.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What tape recorder?
Speaker 8 (07:03):
Well, I haven't got it yet. I just sent in
for it a couple of days ago.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Just a minute, Bud, how are you getting all this
money exactly? What kind of an arrangement do you have
with the government.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
Well, you see, Claude Messner and I.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
I might have known Claude was mixed up in this
some way.
Speaker 8 (07:19):
Claude and I got to talking about income tax and
Claude said that I'd have to start making out an
income tax thing now that I'm working steady at the
drug store.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
I see, you don't have to file an income tax return.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
Stupid I'm working, aren't I I've got income, haven't I?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
What income?
Speaker 6 (07:39):
Those two or three dollars you get for burning coasted
cheese sandwiches at the drug store.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Wait, let's hear Bud's story. This intrigues me.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Well, I'll gladly listen to anyone who's got a system
whereby the government pays you instead of you paying them. Well,
I just wish you'd brought this up before March fifteenth.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I could have used it.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
Well the way I here's my dollar? Will you piped
down my turn? Blow?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Look, sonny boy, this is going to be quite a
shock to you. But the income tax is something you
have to pay, not get, not.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
The way Claude figures it.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I may have been misjudging this, boy.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Go on.
Speaker 8 (08:21):
According to Claude, I ought to get a refund of Well,
wait a minute, I got the blank in my pocket here.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I'd love to see it.
Speaker 8 (08:29):
It's kind of wrinkled up. Where are we now?
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (08:33):
Yeah, right here? I get a refund of one thousand
and seventy one dollars and twenty eight cents.
Speaker 7 (08:40):
What I'm going to raise my price to two dollars?
Speaker 8 (08:45):
I told Claude. I thought that was awful high. But
he said, as long as I have it coming, I
might as well take it.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
Uh, just how did Claude arrive at that figure?
Speaker 8 (08:55):
Well, he just worked it out the regular way, and
a line six on line X and subtract line too
and all.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That I know.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
But exactly how did Claude get that figure? That's what
I want to know.
Speaker 7 (09:06):
He ate too many starches.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
All right, you can save that for the souphomore spring follies.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Let's see that blank, Bud.
Speaker 8 (09:18):
Well, Cloud's got it all worked out. See. Here's drugstore
income here, thirty two dollars ninety cents. That includes tips.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I see.
Speaker 8 (09:26):
Cloud says they can be rough on you if you
cheat on your tips.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
He's right.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
Then here's that one hundred dollars savings bond at Maddie
gave me for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You put that under income, Well, it came in.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Uh. What's this item here? Bud lost from storm to
ninety eight?
Speaker 8 (09:46):
Oh that's my baseball mit I lost it in a storm. Oh,
I see, never did find that thing. Anyway, My net
income comes to one hundred and twenty eight dollars and
twenty eight cents. See that. Yeah, Now over here I
put myself down for an exemption, and right here I
(10:08):
put Kathy down as a dependent.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Kathy, whoa boy?
Speaker 7 (10:13):
Am a dependent?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Don't I know it?
Speaker 8 (10:17):
Now? Then we turned back over here.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Wait a minute, how do you figure that you can
claim Kathy as a dependent?
Speaker 8 (10:23):
Well, she's dependent on me for our salary. That's why
I hired her. It was Paud's idea.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I don't doubt that at all.
Speaker 8 (10:34):
He pointed out that even though it costs me a
little money, it was worth several hundred bucks to me
in the long run.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
I'm going to raise my price to three dollars.
Speaker 8 (10:42):
Don't start getting grabby. I'll drop you as a dependent.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Then let's see, now, with two exemptions, that's twelve hundred dollars.
Speaker 8 (10:50):
Yeah, that's the way Claude has it right there.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
See, and your net income is only one hundred and
twenty eight seventy two, which leaves a difference of one thousand,
seventy one dollars and twenty eight cents.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Right now, you haven't figured any actual tax here?
Speaker 8 (11:11):
Well, of course not. I shouldn't have to pay tax
on money, fail me?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Well, no, I guess you're right.
Speaker 8 (11:19):
Do they send that money in cash for check?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I don't know. They never sent me any.
Speaker 8 (11:26):
Day.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Wouldn't you eat just a little something, an apple or
a glass of milk? Oh?
Speaker 6 (11:30):
I haven't time now, mother, I've got to get back
to school early this noon.
Speaker 9 (11:33):
I've decided I'll settle for thirty five cents.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
Look, I can't change it now. It'll throw my whole
income tax off.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
Well, how soon will I get it? As soon as
the mailman brings.
Speaker 8 (11:46):
It, I'll go out and check him again.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Wait a minute, Bud, there's a few things you ought
to know about income tax, and this is a good
time to learn them.
Speaker 8 (11:55):
Claud told me everything. Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Sure.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
In the first place, even if you were supposed to
file a return.
Speaker 8 (12:01):
But I am supposed to.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
No, you're not. You didn't make six hundred dollars.
Speaker 8 (12:05):
I will when you add in my thousand dollars refund.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You can't count that.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
But even if you were supposed to, and even if
it was correct, which it isn't, what you couldn't get
a refund without first sending it in.
Speaker 8 (12:20):
But I did send it in.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
In the second place, you can't list Kathy as a dependent.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
What did you say you.
Speaker 8 (12:27):
Sent it in? Sure?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
You actually send it in?
Speaker 8 (12:32):
Yeah, to the district director of Internal Revenue.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Oh no, isn't that the right place? Oh but Bud,
why don't you check with me before you do these things?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Wouldn't it be funny if they sending that refund?
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Margaret, this is no laughing matter. Do you realize his
name is the same as mine?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Wait a minute, did you sign it is Bud Anderson?
Speaker 8 (13:01):
Of course not James c Anderson.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Did you put the junior on? Oh?
Speaker 8 (13:07):
Claude, thought I ought to leave that off. Sounded too kiddish.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Hooray for Claude.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Oh Jim, what are you so worried about? They can
see that it's all a mistake, sure.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
But it's going to be a pretty suspicious looking kind
of a mistake. They'll get two returns from James c Anderson,
both the same address, both claiming Kathy as a dependent,
both claiming James is an exemption, and one.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Of them asking for a thousand dollars refund.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Well, you can explain it all, can't you.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Sure? But are they going to believe it?
Speaker 5 (13:41):
They're checking everything that looks the least bit suspicious.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Now, well, I think you're just making a mountain out
of a mole skin. Nothing will come of it.
Speaker 8 (13:50):
Oh no, gosh it You don't think they'll siw me
in jail, do you?
Speaker 5 (13:56):
No, of course not, but all the red tape I'll
have to go through with explaining this.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Mm Kathy, go see who that is?
Speaker 8 (14:03):
Okay, gosh, what am I gonna do when my tape
we call it gets here?
Speaker 5 (14:07):
Just send it back and after this, don't send in
for any more things until you've got the money.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
To pay for it.
Speaker 8 (14:13):
Well I thought I would have.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
And don't send in for anything until after you've checked
with me.
Speaker 8 (14:18):
I just hope I don't get arrested. You want bud, Well,
that's what they get all the big gangsters on income tax.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Well, you're not a gangster.
Speaker 8 (14:28):
I hope Claude doesn't sue me.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Why should he sue you?
Speaker 8 (14:31):
I promised him ten dollars for making out my income tax.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Ten dollars.
Speaker 8 (14:37):
Well, sure you pay a man to do yours, don't you?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well, yes, but how much do you pay him? Twenty five?
Speaker 8 (14:44):
But you want to get clawed and say fifteen bucks?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Asked kitten, there's a man here.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
You won't see you see me?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Who is it?
Speaker 7 (14:58):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Said?
Speaker 7 (15:00):
He wanted to ask you something about your tax tax.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Oh no, Margaret, he's here already.
Speaker 10 (15:06):
Hoofs of pod.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Good come back here, don't run down it.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Five, Act two of Father Knows Best in just a moment.
One week from tonight, all of Hollywood's most glamorous personalities
will gather for the fabulous Academy Award Presentations of the
(15:33):
Motion Picture Industry, and NBC will be on hand to
bring you a complete and exclusive report of the proceedings
of the twenty sixth Annual Presentation of the Academy Awards.
You'll hear Donald O'Connor as Master of Ceremonies of the presentations.
You'll hear the five nominated songs sung by your favorite singers.
You'll hear the acceptance speeches of the Oscar winners. Tune
to NBC next Thursday evening for the exclusive NBC broadcast
(15:57):
of the Academy Awards.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Who will win the Oscars?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Listen next Thursday on this NBC station and learn the
answer to that question.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Well, it looks as though the long arm of the
Internal Revenue Department has found its way into the white
frame house on Maple Street. Right now, James Junior, who
filled out an income tax form in a fairly unorthodox
manner has taken refuge in the basement while James Senior
prepares to go into the living room and talk to
the man who has come to see him about his
tax like this.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Well, dear, you can't keep the man waiting all night.
Go in there and talk to him.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
I'm going, I'm going.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
I just want to well organize my thoughts, make a
good presentation of all this.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
All you have to do is just tell the truth.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
I know, but in this case, the truth just sounds
like a flimsy alibi for a clumsy triad getting away
with something.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
Oh it does not. You're just building this up in
your own mind. You haven't done anything wrong.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
I know that, Margaret, I know that, but it's a
funny thing. I almost feel like I have And I'm
afraid I'm going to go in there acting suspicious.
Speaker 7 (17:13):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
The man said he was.
Speaker 7 (17:15):
In a hurry.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
Okay, okay, where's the copy of that income tax blank
that Bud sent in.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I think Bud took it down to the basement with him.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, would you get it for me?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
It might be a good idea to send Bud in
there too.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
One look at Bud.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
We'll explain this mix up quicker than anything I can say.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
All right, I'll get budd You go in there and
start talking.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Okay, Can I come to Dad?
Speaker 6 (17:39):
No, you wait there, Steve, you can get my dollar
from him.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Uh huh. Well how do you do, sir?
Speaker 10 (17:47):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Are you?
Speaker 10 (17:49):
Miss Anderson?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yes?
Speaker 10 (17:52):
I hate to bother you at lunchtime.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Well that's all right, perfectly, all right.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Well, I know it's pretty hard to catch you fellows
so much. I wasn't planning on running away. What I
meant was, actually, there's a simple explanation of this, mister.
Speaker 11 (18:07):
Hay and I think I have one of my cards here.
Speaker 5 (18:10):
Never mind, this whole thing is really a pretty funny story.
Oh yeah, you see, a young friend of my son's,
Claude Messner, appointed himself as my son's personal business manager.
Oh yes, now then, miss Granderson, about your tax Well
(18:31):
that's what I'm coming to this. Claude filled out the
blank and the way he figured. Well, wait, I can
explain this better by showing you the blank.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I've got a copy of it. I'll go get it.
Speaker 10 (18:41):
Well, look, miss Randerson, worry, I'll be back.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
I'm not running away, I know, but as a matter
of fact, I want you to meet Bud because actually
he's more concerned with this than I am.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Oh he is.
Speaker 10 (18:51):
I thought you were the one.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
No, you see there are two James C. Anderson's junior
and senior. That's the whole trouble.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I'll be right back.
Speaker 10 (19:00):
Well, all right, but I wish you'd hurry.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Mm m.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
I forgot my purse, do you know riott? Oh excuse me,
I didn't know anyone was here.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It's quite all right.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Does anyone know you're here? Oh?
Speaker 11 (19:16):
Yes, I I was just talking to mister Anderson. I
didn't mean to make so much fuss. I just wanted
to talk to someone about the chair.
Speaker 7 (19:23):
Oh you mean the leather chair we're having done over.
Speaker 11 (19:26):
Yes, I just wanted to know what kind of tax
you wanted decorat. Yes, there were bronze headed ones on
it before, but I think brass would look better with
the red leather.
Speaker 8 (19:43):
Well you'll have to ask father.
Speaker 11 (19:45):
I could have phoned, but I was in the neighborhood
and I thought you could get a better idea if
you could see the tax yourself.
Speaker 7 (19:50):
Yes, well, I'm sure father will be right. Oh there's
my purse. Look, mister, I'm in a hurry. Would you
give father these letters? They just came Yes, all right,
thanks to just load.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
You're a doll.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Come on, budd, He's not going to arrest you are,
of course.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Well, here we are, mister Haggerty. Sorry to have kept
you waiting. Yes, uh huh, this is my son, James Jr.
Speaker 10 (20:15):
Oh. Yes, so this is the young man who's going
to get the chair.
Speaker 11 (20:19):
Eight what come back here?
Speaker 5 (20:25):
What's the matter with him? I'm afraid your little joke
was too much for him.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But little joke about the chair.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
He's quite emotionally upset over this whole deal. He must
be an extremely delicate child. Well I wouldn't say that.
You should see him eat sometime. Well, now let's get
this straight.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Just twitch.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
One of you is getting the chair. What your wife
told me it was your leather chair, and then you
said you wanted to call your son because.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
He was more Wait a minute, what did you say
leather chair?
Speaker 11 (21:12):
Yeah, certainly I'm not in the wrong house, am I.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
You're the one who's redoing our leather chair.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Well certainly, who did you think I was? You'd be surprised?
Speaker 10 (21:31):
Well, I'm sorry this has gotten so complicated.
Speaker 11 (21:34):
I'm merely dropped by to ask you whether you want
it decorated with bronze or brass tax tax.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Mister Haggerty, excuse me for laughing, but we thought you
were from the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Speaker 10 (21:49):
Internal Revenue.
Speaker 5 (21:50):
It's too long a story to explain.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
But on account of you, my son.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
Is probably holed up in the darkest corner of the
basement believing he's a fugitive from justice.
Speaker 10 (22:01):
Very amusing. Well, now how about it. Do you want
bronze or brass?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
What's that?
Speaker 8 (22:07):
Do you want bronze or brass?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Tax?
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Yeah, that'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
What will sure?
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Oh, you don't know what a relief?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
This will be the bud.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Anything else you want to get straightened out about the chair, mister.
Speaker 11 (22:22):
Hagget, No, no, I've got all the information I'm going
to get.
Speaker 10 (22:29):
I can see that.
Speaker 11 (22:35):
Well, fine, nice to have met you. Yes, eh, oh,
here's your mail. Your daughter handed it to me.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Oh fine, thank you, goodbye, mister Haggerty, goodbye, mister Anderson.
Margaret Margaret, was that a good joke on us? That
wasn't an income tax man, that was the furniture man.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Mister Haggarty, you mean, yeah, well, I couldn't imagine what
was going on in here. Bud shot out of here,
looking why does a ghost? He called Claude on the
phone and told him he'd better get out of town.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh no, where's Bud now?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I don't know. He ran out the back door.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I hope he hasn't gone out of town too.
Speaker 7 (23:24):
He left without paying me my dollar.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Look, kitten, you'd better just write that off as a
bad debt.
Speaker 7 (23:31):
But he promised it to me.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Well, I'll pay it to you this time, but after this,
don't make any more deals with Bud unless you check
with me first.
Speaker 7 (23:41):
Would you like your room clean for a dollar?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
No? No thanks.
Speaker 7 (23:46):
You can use me as a dependent.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
I'd rather not hear any more about that.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Dad.
Speaker 8 (23:55):
Is the coast clear?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Huh?
Speaker 8 (23:58):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Hi, Bud, come on here.
Speaker 8 (24:00):
I saw him leave. What happened? Do you think we've
got a chance, Dad?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Sure, I took care of that baby. I told him off.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
But good.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
Of course, we might have to slip down to Mexico
a low for a few months.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
Mexico.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
He's just kidding you, Bud. That man was just here
to see about recovering your father's leather chair.
Speaker 8 (24:23):
Leather chair? Is that the chair? He was talking about.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
That's all it was, Bud jumping catfish.
Speaker 8 (24:32):
Boy, what a relief.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
What do you have there, Jim? It's Mayo.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Huh oh yeah, I guess Betty brought it in. Let's see.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
Here's one for you, Bud from the Ajax Mail Order House.
Speaker 8 (24:45):
Oh, that's about my tape recorder.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
And this one is oh my gosh, this is from
the Internal Revenue office.
Speaker 8 (24:52):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I was just thinking, you still don't have that little
problem solved?
Speaker 8 (24:57):
Dad? How far is it to Mexic.
Speaker 9 (25:02):
Before Daddy goes any place? I want my money first.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Well, open the letter and see what it says, Jim,
before you start building this up into another big thing.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 8 (25:17):
What's it say? Dad?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Well wait till I look what's.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
In your letter?
Speaker 8 (25:21):
But I've forgot to look.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Well, i'll be darne.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Well, what does the director of Internal Revenue say?
Speaker 8 (25:30):
Dear?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
What does he say?
Speaker 5 (25:36):
He says, please send me cod one number six oh
two tape recorder?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
What but sent the order to them by mistake?
Speaker 4 (25:49):
But what about the income blank?
Speaker 8 (25:51):
I just got it back. I must have sent it
to the Ajax Mail Order House, Dear.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
If I may quote the children, this is sure a
cow razy mixed up house.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
The Andersons will be back in just a moment. Again,
let me remind you about the exclusive NBC radio broadcast
of the Academy Awards next Thursday evening. Your host will
be motion picture star Richard Carlson, and he'll describe this
fabulous night of nights as the spectacle unfolds on stage
in Hollywood. The NBC microphones will pick up the voices
of the stars all America loves as they present Golden
(26:38):
Oscars to twenty five winners. And from New York and Philadelphia,
you'll hear the voices of winners who may be in
those cities only once each year. Is so much talent
gathered together for one broadcast. Hear the excitement, tension, and
surprises of the Academy Awards ceremonies next Thursday evening on
this same NBC station. Well, at last, the hectic noon
(27:07):
hour is over all.
Speaker 8 (27:08):
The mistakes that.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
Were made finally neutralized each other, and the children are
now on their way back to school, and Jim is
about to depart for the office Like this, Well, I
can get back to work now and get a little rest.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Well, we certainly had a comedy of errors going full
blast here.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
I don't see how Bud can get so many things
mixed up so completely.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
He must practice nights.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Well, he's a boy.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I don't know where he.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Gets that ability, certainly not from me.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Well, i'd better be going.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Oh wait a minute, dear, that might be for you.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I hope not.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Hello, Yes, that's right. Oh oh, I see, Well, well
just a minute, I'll ask him, dear. This is about
your tax telling to.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Put the brass headed ones in.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
No, this is the Internal Revenue Office.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
What my gosh, what have I done? Now?
Speaker 4 (28:10):
They want you to drop by there and pay them
some more money.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
More money, mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
When you send in your return, you apparently and closed
that letter I ask you to mail to Aunt Matty.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
They put a stamp on it, so you owe them
three cents.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Join us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson Pava.
Nos Best is an NBC Radio Network production in cooperation
with Cavalier Enterprises. In our cast where Ted Donald's and
his bud Jeene Vander Pyle wrote to williams helen Strom
and Parley Bay Fava, nos Best is based on characters
created by Ed James, written by Paul West and Roswell Rodgers,
(28:56):
directed by Arthur Jacobson and transcribed in Hollywood. Says Bill Mormans, me,
I've played Truth or Consequences with Ralph Edwards on the
(29:18):
NBC Radio network,
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