Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to this We get Filling a program for education
and celebration of what's happening throughout filling homes. I'm Tina Parsons.
Welcome back to the program. Today we're talking with Heather Fitzen,
writer from Heartland Hospice. Heather, Hi, Hi, I'm so glad
that you're here too, and it's wonderful to see you
you too, It's so good to see you.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yes, it has been such a long time. Okay, tell
us where are you from?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I work for Heartland Hospice. I am a social work
with them.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I do a lot of community outreach, patient and provider
education to help.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
People better understand.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
The hard things, right, which is, you know, percent of
us are gonna go to heaven hopefully, right, how are
we going to get there?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And on what terms?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
And then kind of what happens, like we get really
caught in watching someone pass, you know, because there's a
lot of suffering attached to that.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But then what happens when they're gone?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
And that's the part where I'm kind of focusing today.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
So you used to work at Filling Homes years ago,
and we talked just a little bit agout that that's
kind of where you where you got the desire, you
have to do what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
So the O I say the origin of my health
care career because I have worked in healthcare since I
was seventeen.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm in my home about.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
So since I was yeah, since I was seventeen so
and and I started here, and I learned empathy, compassion,
unconditional positive regard here and it made me not only
a better like I was a v I'm a veteran.
(01:47):
I joined the military after my experience here because I
knew I wanted to do something in medicine, but I.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Didn't know what, and the military presented that option. And like,
there's just so many things that happens in my experience here.
I forgot about your military. Yeah yeah, yeah. It made
me a better military member. It made me a better
social worker, like I am a better human.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Being, definitely a better mom for my time here, because
there is nowhere life feeling home.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
The friendships that you make just so personable and so meaningful,
and that brings us to when we lose those friends.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yes, it's they're like family.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
We call this the filling family.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Legit their family.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You know, coworkers, sometimes there's the squabbles, but when it
comes down to it, nobody wants to lose anybody and
it's hard.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So that brings us to what you were brought.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
In here to talk about, and I will record it
and kind.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Of put that in with all of this, so people
listenk and hear what you have said.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
But how do you start to even figure out what
you're going to.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Say to the group here who you know that they've
gone through so much loss here in the past six.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Months or so. I think you just acknowledge that it hurts.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Like we're not very good at looking at somebody and saying,
I see you hurting. And I think that we very
much want to fix it for people because that's our nature.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
And sometimes the best we can do.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Is just hold space, right just sit in that moment
with them, because they can't fix it.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
You can't fix grief.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And a lot of times here with the direct support
people who are mourning the.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Loss of these people, they're just right back to work.
And you know, typically you have your three days of
bereavement and then you're just back to regular life. And
so we're kind of we're forced to get on quickly,
get on with it.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
And so then how do you How many of them
really don't ever deal with it?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Probably many, yeah, I think, or they take it home
with them. They probably take it home.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
So like you come here and you're very busy.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Doing the dues. I am going to do the tasks.
I'm gonna make the things. I'm gonna do what I
need to do. It's the quiet moments, you know, when
the first time you walk into a room after the
patient is gone and it feels weird, but you can't
who you say that to?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
You know? Can you say it to each other? Do
you talk about that?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Encouraging that, yes, talk about that. Absolutely, you're not the
only one feeling that. You're not the only one who
doesn't want to go in there.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Oftentimes maybe they're not proud there, but they're afraid to
bring up a name of yah.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, oh, because we don't. I don't want to make
anyone else uncomfortable. Everybody's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
We're all on a lot of us are are already
uncomfortable on the inside. It's okay to be the one
that says it's not just me, right, everybody go yes not.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
It opens It makes people feel more comfortable. Absolutely, being
vulnerable and and very clear about where you are emotionally.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Is incredibly hard work.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
It's incredibly hard work, and I think one of the
things that gre does or has done for me is
teach me that I have to be present with whatever
it is that's going on.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't necessarily have to give into it, but I
definitely have to acknowledge it or it's just going to
continue to be a thing.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Heather, before we run out of time, can you just
I can introduce yourself and let people know how to
contact you should anybody feel inclined to do so after hearing.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
You talked today. My name is Heather Fitsen, Writer. I
work for Heartland Hospice. My uh contact information.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
You can reach me at Heather dot fits and writer
at Heartland Hospice all one word dot com or four
one nine two zero five seven sixty six nine is
my cell Our four one nine five three one zero
four four zero is our business office.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
So, Heather, I can't tell you how much we appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Coming in here and talking to our Yeah, our staff,
and we've we've had there's always loss, but it seems
like in the past three to six months we've we've
really had our share here at filling and it affects
the staff in so many different ways, and you talking
to them is.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Truly appreciated there. It's my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It's the origin, so I'm it's it's full circle, full circle.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Thanks again for tuning in, Thank you for your ongoing support,
and join us again next week for another this
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Week at Filling
Welcome to this We get Filling a program for education
and celebration of what's happening throughout filling homes. I'm Tina Parsons.
Welcome back to the program. Today we're talking with Heather Fitzen,
writer from Heartland Hospice. Heather, Hi, Hi, I'm so glad
that you're here too, and it's wonderful to see you
you too, It's so good to see you.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yes, it has been such a long time. Okay, tell
us where are you from?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I work for Heartland Hospice. I am a social work
with them.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I do a lot of community outreach, patient and provider
education to help.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
People better understand.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
The hard things, right, which is, you know, percent of
us are gonna go to heaven hopefully, right, how are
we going to get there?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And on what terms?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
And then kind of what happens, like we get really
caught in watching someone pass, you know, because there's a
lot of suffering attached to that.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But then what happens when they're gone?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
And that's the part where I'm kind of focusing today.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
So you used to work at Filling Homes years ago,
and we talked just a little bit agout that that's
kind of where you where you got the desire, you
have to do what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
So the O I say the origin of my health
care career because I have worked in healthcare since I
was seventeen.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm in my home about.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
So since I was yeah, since I was seventeen so
and and I started here, and I learned empathy, compassion,
unconditional positive regard here and it made me not only
a better like I was a v I'm a veteran.
(01:47):
I joined the military after my experience here because I
knew I wanted to do something in medicine, but I.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Didn't know what, and the military presented that option. And like,
there's just so many things that happens in my experience here.
I forgot about your military. Yeah yeah, yeah. It made
me a better military member. It made me a better
social worker, like I am a better human.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Being, definitely a better mom for my time here, because
there is nowhere life feeling home.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
The friendships that you make just so personable and so meaningful,
and that brings us to when we lose those friends.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yes, it's they're like family.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
We call this the filling family.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Legit their family.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You know, coworkers, sometimes there's the squabbles, but when it
comes down to it, nobody wants to lose anybody and
it's hard.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So that brings us to what you were brought.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
In here to talk about, and I will record it
and kind.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Of put that in with all of this, so people
listenk and hear what you have said.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
But how do you start to even figure out what
you're going to.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Say to the group here who you know that they've
gone through so much loss here in the past six.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Months or so. I think you just acknowledge that it hurts.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Like we're not very good at looking at somebody and saying,
I see you hurting. And I think that we very
much want to fix it for people because that's our nature.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
And sometimes the best we can do.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Is just hold space, right just sit in that moment
with them, because they can't fix it.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
You can't fix grief.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And a lot of times here with the direct support
people who are mourning the.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Loss of these people, they're just right back to work.
And you know, typically you have your three days of
bereavement and then you're just back to regular life. And
so we're kind of we're forced to get on quickly,
get on with it.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
And so then how do you How many of them
really don't ever deal with it?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Probably many, yeah, I think, or they take it home
with them. They probably take it home.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
So like you come here and you're very busy.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Doing the dues. I am going to do the tasks.
I'm gonna make the things. I'm gonna do what I
need to do. It's the quiet moments, you know, when
the first time you walk into a room after the
patient is gone and it feels weird, but you can't
who you say that to?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
You know? Can you say it to each other? Do
you talk about that?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Encouraging that, yes, talk about that. Absolutely, you're not the
only one feeling that. You're not the only one who
doesn't want to go in there.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Oftentimes maybe they're not proud there, but they're afraid to
bring up a name of yah.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, oh, because we don't. I don't want to make
anyone else uncomfortable. Everybody's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
We're all on a lot of us are are already
uncomfortable on the inside. It's okay to be the one
that says it's not just me, right, everybody go yes not.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
It opens It makes people feel more comfortable. Absolutely, being
vulnerable and and very clear about where you are emotionally.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Is incredibly hard work.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
It's incredibly hard work, and I think one of the
things that gre does or has done for me is
teach me that I have to be present with whatever
it is that's going on.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't necessarily have to give into it, but I
definitely have to acknowledge it or it's just going to
continue to be a thing.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Heather, before we run out of time, can you just
I can introduce yourself and let people know how to
contact you should anybody feel inclined to do so after hearing.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
You talked today. My name is Heather Fitsen, Writer. I
work for Heartland Hospice. My uh contact information.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
You can reach me at Heather dot fits and writer
at Heartland Hospice all one word dot com or four
one nine two zero five seven sixty six nine is
my cell Our four one nine five three one zero
four four zero is our business office.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
So, Heather, I can't tell you how much we appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Coming in here and talking to our Yeah, our staff,
and we've we've had there's always loss, but it seems
like in the past three to six months we've we've
really had our share here at filling and it affects
the staff in so many different ways, and you talking
to them is.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Truly appreciated there. It's my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It's the origin, so I'm it's it's full circle, full circle.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Thanks again for tuning in, Thank you for your ongoing support,
and join us again next week for another this
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Week at Filling
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