EP 272: Kelly Lynn Adams. Making a pivot in 2023 and becoming the best version of yourself.

Kelly Lynn Adams is a life coach who has gone through her own transformation. She is very talented and can help others make the necessary pivot needed when fear holds you back. Great episode to kick off the year and help you achieve your goals.

Episode Transcript

(00:10):
Hey everybody, it's Mark Pattison backagain with another great episode of Finding Your
Summit, all about people overcome auniversity and finding their way. Before we
get into today's great guest, Iwant to draw attention to my website www.
Dot Mark Pattison NFL dot com.A bunch of stuff there, over
two hundred and seventy podcasts. Itgoes back in the number of years almost

(00:31):
on a weekly basis. I wouldappreciate some love ratings and review on Apple
helps elevate the show's popularity in thecredited world a podcast, so i'd appreciate
that. Number one. Number twoyou can go see the film Searching for
the Summit, the award winning BestPicture Emmy for My Ever my journey up
and down Mount Everest, the NFLshot, so it's really cool. And

(00:54):
number three, we continue to raisemoney for Emilia's Everest. Go there.
All donations go one hundred sent toHigher Ground to help empower other people.
It's done an amazing amountain for mydaughter who has epilepsy. So that's why
we do things to pay it for. Okay, on that note, let's
jump in today's guest. Her nameis Killy Lynn Adams. Kelly, how

(01:15):
you doing good? Mark, I'mhonored to be here. Thank you so
much. Well, I'm honored back. And I think I am beaming from
some valley, Idaho, and youare all the way in New York City.
Is that right? Yes, that'scorrect. Yeah, So the mountains
look a little bit different here thanthey do. Your mountains are more probably
calculated in feet in big high risebuildings than they are in actual foothills,

(01:37):
right right, right, exactly,all right, So let me let me
give the audience is kind of alittle background, and then we're going to
dig in on kind of since thisis the beginning. We're in January now,
twenty twenty three. I can't believeit. You know, time flies.
As they say, you are awardwinning executive, big as a business

(01:59):
coach or speak, an advisor,an investor, and so much more.
And one of the reasons why Iwant to have you on is because when
we start talking about January, andwe always you know, come December,
we're kind of wrapping it up,and then when we get into the new
year, you know, it's kindof for a lot of people a time
of renewal, a time of aplace where people can actually take a step

(02:21):
back and kind of rethink their goals, where they are, where they want
to go, and how they're goingto get there. And I think based
on doing a little bit of research, you know, on you, this
is what you specialize in, reallyhow to become the best version of ourselves.
So let's start off with this.A lot of times when people are

(02:42):
in this space, it starts withthemselves, right because they've gone through some
pattern in the past which somehow anotherin there they've been able to have a
breakthrough. And so I think thispart is for all those people that have
had maybe been stuck not know wherethey're going. Life happens all those things
that fall into those categories, andit's just the strategies of how you get

(03:06):
out. And sometimes when we're allon quicksand we don't know how to get
out, and so you know,we need others to provide kind of a
third party perspective on how those thingshappen. So let's start with you.
How did you get into this space? Great question? It has been evolving.
I will say that, however,and I grew up with a lot

(03:27):
of different adversity, from like aspeech impediment to some other things traumas that
I have uncovered. But I knoweighteen years Corporate America climb the corporate ladder
and loved it. Burnt outland inthe hospital. I was over working.
My work was you know, Iwas my worth came from my work because

(03:50):
I was really I wanted to loveand recognition and all the things that come
with the external validation to really makemyself feel good. But I discovered coaching.
I was in a network marketing business, selling skincare and doing the home
party thing and one of my clientsis like, you'd be a great coach.
And this is back in two thousandand nine, and I'm like,
like a basketball coach, Like whatdo you mean coaching? And she's like,

(04:12):
no, like a like a lifecoach. And I was like,
what is that? So that's howI got in and never looked back.
And I grew my business alongside mycorporate career. Left corporate and it's been
definitely a journey of healing my owntraumas, pushing my own boundaries and all
of that, all the things markall the things. Okay, well let's

(04:32):
talk about all the things. Soyou're talking about ending up in the hospital
and so like explain what that meanswhen somebody gets so burned out from work,
and obviously you're getting a lot ofgratification whether or not you do well
or not that ultimately you take yourselfto such the edge that you end up
in the hospital. Like how,I don't know if that's exhausten or just

(04:55):
kind of mentally like you could justbreak down or yeah, what are you
going in for? Yeah? SoI it was adrenal fatigue, and it
was I had everything like oral thrust, my body was shutting down, fever.
I just it was I was eating, Let's just put it this way.
I was getting up at five am, going to work, eating fast

(05:16):
food, breakfast, lunch, anddinner. I remember one time in a
meeting, I looked up the clock. It was four o'clock and I'm like,
oh, I had I didn't haveanything to drink, I didn't eat
anything, you know, I didn'tgo to the bathroom, Like what is
going on? And I knew whatI was doing to my body, and
so it was like a it wassubconscious and unconscious, and so my body

(05:41):
was just shutting down and I wentto the doctors. I'm like I was
having fevers. I was just literallyand he's like, you need to go
to hospital now. So they testedlike my organs and all that stuff.
So yeah, I stayed in thehospital and I was out of work for
I think like two months. Icouldn't get out of bed, and all
I did was just sleep and andput new true back into my body and
all of that. And you know, I knew what Like I said,

(06:04):
I knew what was happening while itwas happening. When I'm like, oh,
it's only gonna you know, thiswork thing is only going to be
you know, two months long.I can do anything for two months because
we were in a really crazy busytime and my body's like, yeah,
no, no, you're not.So sometimes it just plays that way.
So the the Okay, so you'rein a place you're running yourself into a

(06:28):
wall. And now at some pointin time, after two months, you
get released and now you go backinto the wild, so to speak.
Right, So now you're back there, right, and now in your mind,
did you did you like literally goto another coach? Did you go
how did you seek up? I'mtrying to I'm trying to understand like your
path out in some discoveries that youmade along the way and what were those

(06:53):
Yeah, yeah, So definitely hireda coach, did the therapy thing,
did all the also looked at mytrauma like I'm still like looking at my
trauma and still you know, likethe work is never done. In my
eyes, the work is never done. It's just another layer and deeper layer.
So that's when I really started thejourney, and I was like I
had to make some really tough decisionsfor myself. And it was really honoring

(07:15):
myself and seeking that validation within myself. So a lot of inner childhood work
all of that, and it wasalso a mindset you know, of am
I good enough if I don't havean X y Z? Where I was
seeking all the validation in external things. So it was just a step by

(07:36):
step process, you know. Itwas investing in myself. I was taking
care of myself. It was havingnon negotiables, like I would shut down
at a certain time of day,eating right, eating better, moving my
body, just putting boundaries and settinga lot of those things up in my
life and having non negotiables and likewhat am I available for? What am

(07:59):
I not available for? And ittook some time because it was in a
sense like a work addiction. Itwas a work addiction. Yeah, so
it was just different pieces that Soyeah, so I guess my curiosity would
ask you what was it about?Why? The question of why you had

(08:22):
it? So we know what itwas, but why do you feel like
you were so work obsessed and kindof seeking approval? Yeah, based on
something that maybe you didn't get whenyou're a kid. Yeah, I mean
that's exactly what it was. Itwas I was getting love recognition. I

(08:45):
was like, oh, I'm goodenough right now, Like, oh,
this makes me feel a certain way, and think about it. It's like
what I put posted this into mycommunity. It's like, we want the
things we want because we think it'sgoing to have a feeling, it's going
to make us feel a certain way. And the work, in my eyes,

(09:05):
the inner work, is feeling thatcertain way first and then doing things
because that's what it is. Wewant the car, we want, the
spouse, we want, um,whatever it is we want maybe just peace
of mind, right, and howdo we go about seeking that? And
a lot of people do it externallyand that's what I was doing, and
still like I catch myself today,I'm like, oh I'm doing that thing

(09:28):
again Kelly. Right, So it'sokay, like what do I need?
Or what is five year old Kellyneed? Or you know, how do
I how can I be with myselfwhen I'm with myself, when I'm alone?
You know, how do I feelabout myself? Yeah? And quick
side know, I want to thankMarco. Shout out to you for for
connecting us in this. You know, what I've always thought about is there's

(09:48):
there's a difference between willing and want. Right, So I work with Marco
at Sports Illustrated and are you willingto do the things to get to where
you need to be or you justwant those things to happen? Like you
said, we all want to becomea millionaire or own the eighty houses.
I mean, whatever somebody's want is. But that the hard stuff is are
you willing to do what it takesto get to where you want to go?
And you really have to love thatprocess that's in between there, right,

(10:11):
you have to really emotionally invest yourselfinto it and be doing things for
obviously, um, the right reason. Um. One of the things that
you've come up with m that Isaw, there's six ways to a breakthrough,
you know, without burning out.So you know, you want to
go do these certain things and you'rewilling to put that work in. But

(10:33):
I'm interested on what are You don'thave to name all six, but give
me some strategies on some ways thatpeople can start to attack. You know,
there are goals that are out therewe want to become. You know,
you want to maybe it's you wantto eat better, and you mentioned
some of these that perphery, butyou want to eat better, you want
to take better, better care ofyour body. There are certain things in

(10:54):
your professional career that you probably wantto achieve. But what are some of
those ways that somebody can can canyou know, start to go towards the
light to get through to the otherside. Yeah, And first of I'll
say this, it has to comefrom like a want, right, like
it is a desire. What's yournorth star? What's your why? The
why has to pull you and don'tget me wrong, I'm gonna do whatever

(11:18):
it takes kind of kind of person. And at the same time, it's
also honoring the space in between becausesometimes in this society, right it's it's
Amazon Venmo Prime, you know,we get it instant gratification and people get
used to that right our phones.And so the first step I think is
knowing your north north star and whyyou want what you want and why why

(11:41):
you want that, Like there hasto be a I said, you have
to have a why that makes youcry, so that when you're feeling the
rejection or you're feeling the pain orwhatever comes up, that why has to
literally pull you. So I wouldsay that's the first step, and then
second is going back to kind ofthe self carapace doing whatever it takes,

(12:01):
yet not to the expense expense ofyour like self sabotage, like not to
your own detriment. So whatever thatis, If you can build non negotiables
for yourself, it's going to lookdifferent for every single person. And whether
that's you know, limiting time onyour phone or setting a time to go
to you know bed, or gettingx amount of hours of sleep, whatever

(12:22):
it is, you know, drinkingmore water, simple things. So having
those non negotiables, I think peopleforget. And there's a lot, you
know, a lot of people thatI serve and I work with, they
put so many other people before themselves, and so that's you know, we
get to learn to put ourselves firstand then develop a plan a lot of

(12:43):
people say they want things and theyjust don't make a plan or they'll flide
by the sea their pants and listen. I love spontaneity. I love all
that. However, you know,like baking a cake, you need to
know the ingredients, you need toknow the steps to bake a cake.
So like, what is the planto get there? Why don't you think
enough people plan? You know youyou failed the plan or a plan to

(13:09):
fail, right as they say,So why is that it's just an opinion?
But why you know, it seemslike such an easy thing, Like
all these things you're saying are easy, right, But if everybody did it,
there wouldn't be any problems. Butthe fact is that, you know,
their diets come out in January andgoals come out and new as resolutions

(13:31):
and all these things, and peopledon't fulfill those things, and by March
or April they're just kind of they'vereverted back to those same old habits they've
always had. And so again,you know, doing these different things being
non negotiable, you know, sayingyou're gonna go to beds and you're not
gonna you're gonna cut down drinking,you're gonna eat healthier. You're gonna you
know, achieve whatever it is.But I'm just wondering the psychology why so

(13:54):
many people fail at that? Yeah, well, a lot of it somebody
has to do with trauma, hasto do. We can reprogram our brains,
right, neuroplasticity, we can,we can read. It's just a
reprogramming and un learning. And somepeople are afraid of commitment. Right.
Oh, if I've you know,if I can't keep my promises to myself,
who am I? That's like aself trust component. But it's literally

(14:15):
just forming new patterns. And Iknow it's it's not as simple, but
it's brainwashing yourself. It's un learningthat those things that stop you. It's
getting curious of like, huh,why do I keep saying I'm going to
do something and then not do it? What is underneath that? And sometimes
it does stem from childhood. Sometimesit's just pure fear of oh can I

(14:37):
really do this? You know,can I really commit to myself? Can
I really trust myself to do this? And what I have found is that
confidence, right, confidence just comeswith doing consistent and committed actions over time.
Right, So if you fall offone day, get back on the
next, And I think people takeit so like, oh I failed here,

(15:00):
I'm just gonna screw it. I'mjust gonna fail again, right,
So it's being flexible and adaptable toyourself and change. Yeah, for some
people, change is hard. Welike the safety and security that comes with
the familiar familiarity. I can't saythat word of the same, right if

(15:20):
something's the same, Oh, Isee safety and security in it. If
I have to change, there's alittle bit of level, like the unknown,
like can I be comfortable in theunknown? What's going to happen in
the unknown. So I think it'sall different reasons for people. But if
you get curious of like what thatis, I know for me it's definitely
a safety security thing. Like sometimesI will stay safe and secure in the

(15:43):
gnome even though I know it's notgood for me, rather than taking the
unknown because I'm not sure what theunknown is going to be and that's scary
and it could be the best thingever. Yep, it's called fear,
and fear just paralyzes so many differentpeople right on going forward and jumping in,
you know, especially things that youdon't know nothing about, like the

(16:04):
fear of the unknown and that's that'sa tough place to be. Um,
you've worked with the number of brandsGucci, kind of Coal, Athletica,
Bed Bathroom, and a bunch ofother ones like that when you go in
and help write strategy or I'm tryingto understand what you do, Like,
how are you taking this skill setand help them in terms of blowing their
brands up? Yeah? Yeah,So it's coaching, it's strategy, it's

(16:29):
it's really whatever I've coached high levelexecutives, you know, on the mindset
embodiment, I'm trauma informed all ofthe things, and an even strategy.
So it depends on what the organizationneeds. What it comes down to is
also the individual. Right we allhave our where we get stuck or stagnant
or where we have our blind spots. And so I'm just there to really

(16:51):
like be like where's the blind spot? Just get curious of what's going,
what's not working, or what's notreally uh, you know, to your
liking. You know, how canyou afy and and really get conscious?
And some people, you know,listen, some people, as you know,
are very successful. They have everythingin the world, everything, money,
cars, all the things, andit's their mental health, it's it's
their peace of mind right, orit's they're not having enough time for their

(17:15):
kids and their family, or it'sit is growing and scaling a business.
So it's all different things, um, and we just got to get at
like what is getting in the way, and then there's nothing there's nothing bad
or wrong and no one is brokenand no one needs fixing. Right.
Coaching is just literally like asking powerfulquestions because within coaching is that you are

(17:38):
your own best guru and sometimes wejust don't see it, or if there's
something in the way, or there'sa blind spot where there's a childhood trauma
or what have you. Yeah,I think one of the things that the
going back to the word you useblind spot. Um. I think with
you know, when you go outthere with the cell phone, especially giving
in a big city like New Yorkor these other metropolitan cities around the US

(18:02):
or the world, and there's thisthere's this element I think in the power
of curiosity that people don't spend enoughtime just asking like how does that happen,
why does that work? And howcan we get better? And you
know, with the with the internet, it is a tool. Um,
there's the power of learning a lotabout a lot of things that you don't
know. And there's so much thatcan be learned if you just start asking

(18:26):
some questions in a way that youcan improve your knowledge based on how to
do something, self improvement, thingsthat you're doing at work, other things,
other places you can go. Umin twenty twenty one, I'm asking
this question because I truly don't knowwhat it is. You are a Stevie
one, Uh, I say,Stevie Wonder, a Stevie Winner for women.

(18:48):
There's a lot of there's a lotof ws in there. What is
that? What is that? Yeah? So it's a it's awards program.
It's international, so it's basically abusiness awards. Uh program. So I
was under female female. I thinkit was successful, most successful female in
the US with like under ten employees. That was my category. But it's
literally a global awards program and it'sglobal. They look at your business,

(19:14):
they look at what you do,they have all these things they rate you
on. Um. So I wasbronze yea, I was bronze So um
it was great, you know.I was like, I submitted all the
questions, I got interviewed, andthat's the award winning piece. In my
title what you know what, Ididn't win it? So you want it?
So you you deserve it? Umwhen you start talking about twenty twenty

(19:37):
three, like if you were justsay, you know, you you walk
into a bar or into a room, you know, call it whatever you
want. There's a bunch of peoplesitting around and they're they're just trying to
figure out they're not feeling fulfilled enough, right, and you're trying to get
them, like to to think outsidethe box on where they went. But

(19:59):
they just don't know what or whyright. They don't know how to take
a job, they don't know howto leap, Like, how do you
how do you encourage people to like, you know, start to really tap
in the things that they don't evenknow that they necessarily know in order to
you know, potentially reach their potentialsomeday doing something new. Yeah, So
this is the process I go throughmyself, and even if it's the unknown,

(20:22):
it's it's okay. So I writea letter to myself a year from
today. So I did it,you know, December thirty First, I
was like, where is Kelly goingto be or want to be? When
December thirty one, twenty twenty four. The next year goes comes around what
do I how do I want tofeel? What do I want to be
doing? What would I want tohave achieved? And this can look like

(20:45):
anything for anyone. So it's likeand this is where the curiosity comes in
of asking yourself, like what isit that you still desire? Right?
Is there something that's like untapped?And maybe you don't know? And maybe
it's getting curious. And if youdon't know, what did you like to
do when you were a kid?Right, it's like when you were five
or three or ten, do youremember what did you like to do?

(21:06):
Or what have what's been sitting ona list or in your head that you're
like, you keep staying that youwant to do it? Let travel whatever
it is. So really having peoplegetting curious of like, Okay, what
did I like as a kid,where I like as a teenager? Whatever
it is, Maybe go explore someof that to get into that, like
what is it? But I guaranteesomeone listening to this knows there's something that

(21:30):
they want to be doing or theywant to be feeling, or they want
experience and they just haven't got aroundto it or what have you. It
could be literally as simple as liketaking a vacation. So but I write
a letter to myself or being likewhere do I want to be feel do
have all of that a year fromnow? And some people are like,
oh, that's a lot of pressure, but it's like, no, it's

(21:51):
just literally your future self, right, It's okay, what's my north star?
What's driving me? How would myfuture self be? You know?
So I always use that because I'mconstantly evolving and I'm learning and relearning to
just become the best version of myselfand to get out of my own way.
And then I also challenge myself everyday to do something uncomfortable, whether

(22:14):
that's putting myself out there talking tosomeone asking a question and just to really
challenge, challenge myself, take acold shower, like whatever it is,
right, yeah, I know Iappreciate that. Then just pulling that into
my own life. The this isten years ago of again saying what do
I want my life to be like? And how now do I create the

(22:37):
best version? And so I decidedto go off, like I tap back
into what do I love doing?So I want to do something big and
what I've always been associated with becausemy background is athletics, and so I
want to do something atically athletically big. But within that, you know,
there's certain restrictions. I can't goback and play the NFL and things like
that, So what else can Ido? And so I got into mountain

(22:57):
climbing, and you know, setthis Seventh Summit goal to climb around the
world, which I achieve and andnow I'm kind of going through this next
iteration of Okay, what's the nextdecade look like? So for me it's
not just you know, what thenext year encompasses, but also beyond,
like how can I keep going andachieving because what's done is done, and

(23:18):
I don't really care about that.It's it's really what's ahead, and that's
what's it sakes me about the future. And without goals, I just feel
like I'm some guy in a closet, you know, going in the circle.
You know, you're really not goinganywhere outside of the same flipping thing
you do every single day. Andit's so easy to be average, I
mean to me, and again thatdoesn't mean you have to win you know,

(23:41):
best Actor or something, but it'sjust it's easy to be average.
It's hard to be extraordinary. Andso are you willing to do the things
on a day to day that aregoing to get you to doing something with
having a written goal, because you'regoing to achieve so much more writing things
down that if you don't, therea way out there. So I mean,
it's this model of the world.But that's that's what's worth for me.

(24:03):
I've you know, I've literally putthat to useing to practice, and
that has actually paid off for mein a big way. Yeah, I
absolutely love that. And so that'sanother thing. It's like tend of paper.
I write my down my goals everysingle day and because there's something with
a subconscious mind. And I lovewhat you said Mark about the next decade.
And this is why I like totell people's like, listen, we
don't know our end date right ourphysical when we're out of your physical body,

(24:26):
we don't know that date. Itcould be tomorrow, it could be
a week from now, it couldbe twenty years, it doesn't we don't
know. However, It's like that'sthe motivation also around people being like Okay,
if you only had a week tolive, or if you had only
had a year to live, right, like, what what would you be
doing? Like what do you wantto do. And so I always think
about that because yeah, I don'tknow when I'm leaving this earth right in

(24:48):
this body, but it's like thatwhat do I get to do? Like
there's so much right to be agreat grateful for. And also it's like
what is it before you leave?And this is a bigger question. Everyone's
like, oh, I don't wantto make a huge impact, but it's
it's I don't have to, youknow, like like you climb outains or
whatever like it is it can besimple as being just present with your family.

(25:11):
Right. So it's like, beforeyou leave this earth in the physical
body, what do you want tofeel? Like, what do you want
to experience? Or how do youwant to serve other people? Right?
So that's a powerful question for mebecause it's like, holy heck, I
don't even know when that time is, and I'm going to utilize each day
to the fullest, uh, notto the burnoutfle but to the to my

(25:34):
capacity, right and honoring myself nowthat and you know, like look,
Lisa Marie Pressley just died at fiftyfour years old last week, right,
and and there's there's been a muchother kind of it seems like there's been
a string of people that passed andto me, even though as somber as
those things are, there are alsoreminders that, like you said, life

(25:57):
is short and how are you goingto make an impact? Why you have
your time? And I've also thoughtabout it kind of a different way that
if there is some magical crystal ball, say you are the keeper or that
magical ball, and people could cometo you and say, okay, when
is my time up? And youlook into this this prism and in there

(26:17):
it's pulled up my name and said, okay, you know your your lifeline
goes till ninety two and that's it. And so would you change the way
you live life not knowing that there'sa beginning the day you find out and
an end the day that you justtold me my right. So it's just
a it's an interesting mindset when peopleare really put to the wall and whether
they maybe it's next week, Idon't know, but I think it would

(26:41):
change the mindset versus really not thinkingabout it and just waking up and going
to bed and eating when you eat, and you know, going about life
as normal. But I think that'swhere really transformation comes in is when you're
able to like elevate yourself to someplacedifferent to go chieve something because you know
that life is precious and short andall those other things that you were talking

(27:03):
about. So so I love that. Okay, so let me ask you
this. Um, I assume you'rein New York. I would assume with
COVID, one of the things thatone of the blessings for many people that
have come out is your ability tocoach and meet people via Zoom, via
Google meet things like that. Soyou don't have to have all your clients

(27:23):
in New York City. You're basicallyglobal, so you can talk to anybody
anywhere as long as they have anInternet connection. I would assume that's the
case, right, Yeah, Yeah, absolutely, I have international clients even
before COVID at international clients and yeah, so I mean that's the beauty of
what I do, is coaching isyou know, and the speaking too.
I mean I literally just I moderateda talk today over five hundred people,

(27:47):
right via zoom. Actually, youknow it's it's it's beautiful to have that
impact, you know, virtually forpeople. Yeah. I love that.
Yeah, I mean a lot ofI think we're one one of the first
major media companies, Sports austrated toactually go virtual, and it's it's we've
we've continued to grow, grow,grow, grow, grow, and it's
been a fun ride. And Ifind myself super efficient. I mean,

(28:10):
it doesn't work for everybody, butcertainly it's worked for us and in or
me so in a way that Ican go out in the morning, I
can climb, I can practice,I can train, I can do those
other things and come back and bepresident in the office and do my thing.
Um, tell us where people canfind you. Yeah, So just
my website, Kelly Lynn Adams dotcom. Just there, just there,

(28:33):
just there, you'll find Yeah,you'll you'll go down the rabbit hole if
you want to. Yeah. Yeah, And the rabbit hole would be a
whole bunch of social media side.So, um, listen. I appreciate
you coming on, and I thinkit is important and the timing is interesting
that you're coming on in January rightnow, with January nineteenth, we'll probably
broadcast this in a couple of weeks. And it's it's a time for renewal.

(28:53):
It's never too late for anybody toget going. And that's the whole
key to success, is that there'sno better time than now. So if
you're somebody out there you feel likeyou're stuck, you know, tap into
Kelly and she can help you on, get unstuck and move forward towards the
types of thing I want to doin your life. So, on that
note, Kelly, thank you somuch for coming on. Oh my gosh,

(29:15):
thank you Mark for having me.It's all right there. She is
the one, the only, KellyLynn Adams. Thank you so much.