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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
My wife cheated while I grieved my brother's death.
Blamed me then years later at a wedding.
She tried to reconcile but my new life shocked her.
I 32m had been with my wife, Teresa 30f for eight years and
married for four. We met at a party hosted by a
mutual friend during our sophomore year in college.
I was immediately to her confident personality and sharp

(00:23):
wit Teresa was studying business.
While I was studying engineering, we bonded over our
mutual enjoyment of outdoor activities and sampling new
foods. Our first date was a disaster.
I lost my money and Spilled wineon her dress, but Theresa
Shrugged it off. And we wound up spending hours
roaming around campus and talking.
I realized she was exceptional right away, Teresa's drive and

(00:44):
ambition struck me as our relationship progressed.
She held from a working class family and was driven to pursue
a good career. I loved how she managed her
academics, a part-time job and internships, Theresa pushed me
out of my comfort zone. By encouraging me to apply for
competitive internships and Leadership positions in student
organizations after graduation, we both found nice employment in

(01:06):
the city, Theresa with a lighting company.
And I Engineering firm. We moved in together after a
year and got engaged soon. After our wedding was a modest
intimate Gathering of close friends and family Teresa was
lovely in her plain, white outfit and I recall feeling like
the luckiest man alive, our first couple years of marriage
were great. We both advanced in our careers

(01:27):
which enabled us to travel and enjoy life.
In the city, we had a wonderful group of friends and frequently
hosted dinner parties or game nights at our home Teresa and I
spoke effectively and rarely fought when we disagreed, we
always try to listen to each other and find a solution.
Teresa's Independence was one ofmy favorite aspects of her
personality. We both cherished our personal

(01:47):
time and hobbies Teresa enjoyed yoga and painting.
While I enjoyed basketball and tinkering with vintage cars.
We supported each other's interests and struck a healthy
balance between couple and individual activities.
Everything changed. When Mason, my older brother was
diagnosed with stage four, lung cancer Mason, and I had always
been quite close. He was not only my brother, he

(02:08):
was my best. Friend Confidant and role model.
Mason was always there for me, growing up.
He taught me how to ride a bike.Assisted me with my homework and
offered advice on everything from school to relationships.
When our parents divorced duringmy adolescence Mason became my
rock. He was attending college at the
time but he called me every day to check in.
He even came home on weekends tosee whether I was all right.

(02:32):
Mason was the one who encouragedme to apply to college and
assisted me with moving into my dorm at my wedding.
His best man speech, moved everyone to tears.
Happy tears. Naturally Mason's diagnosis, hit
me like a truck. He had always been the picture
of Health. He ran marathons eight properly
and never smoked it appeared. So unjust.

(02:53):
I recall sitting in the doctor'soffice with him and his wife
Sarah feeling as if the world was collapsing on us since, then
I've spent as much time as possible with Mason, I drove him
to his chemotherapy appointmentsstayed with him in the hospital
and attempted to lift. His spirits Teresa was initially
helpful accompanying me on visits to Mason and assisting
Sarah with food in chores, but as the weeks grew into months,

(03:15):
Teresa began to protest. She claimed I was spending too
much time with Mason and neglected our relationship.
I tried to explain how vital it was for me to be there for my
brother, but Teresa appeared to resent.
The time, I was away from her, we began bickering, more
frequently, generally over my schedule or her feeling
neglected. I tried to balance time with
Mason and Teresa but it was really difficult Mason's.

(03:37):
Condition was fast deterioratingand I wanted to be as present
for him as possible. At the same time, I felt awful
about Not Giving Teresa the attention she craved.
It was a no-win scenario despiterigorous therapy Mason died.
Eight months after being diagnosed, I was absolutely
devastated. Mason had been such a constant
in my life that I couldn't imagine the world without him,

(03:58):
the Lost devastated. Me and I sank into a profound
despair, I took a leave of absence from work and spent the
majority of my time at home. Some days, I could hardly get
out of bed, everything reminded me of Mason TV shows were used
to watch together private jokes,we shared.
And even particular Foods, he enjoyed the grief was intense.

(04:18):
Teresa attempted to be helpful at first, but her patience ran
out quickly. She kept trying to persuade me
to get over it and resume our normal social life.
She planned events and invited friends over but I couldn't
bring myself to socialize Teresa.
Seemed to take it personally, and accused me of pushing her
away. This carried on for around three
months. I knew Teresa was having a

(04:38):
difficult time, but I was doing my best to cope with this
enormous loss. I was attending a bereavement
counselor and attempting to process my emotions but healing
takes time, Theresa grew increasingly distant and
unpleasant. Then one day I received a call
from Liam Mason's best buddy. Since Boyhood Liam had been like
another brother to me growing upand he'd been a huge help after

(04:59):
Mason's death. However, this call was different
Liam's. Voice was uncertain when he
informed me. He saw Teresa at a motel, with
another man. I did not want to believe it at
first. I absolutely believed to reset
and couldn't picture her cheating, but Liam email me, a
photo he had taken and there wasno disputing.
It Theresa was in a passionate embrace with a man.
I didn't recognize and they weregoing to enter a hotel room.

(05:22):
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
How could Theresa do this to me?Especially because I was
grieving for my brother, I sat in stunned silence for hours
staring at the snapshot and attempting to make sense of it.
When Teresa arrived home that evening.
I confronted her, I showed her the photograph and asked for an
explanation. She initially denied it,
claiming that it was not what itappeared to be.

(05:44):
But when I questioned her, she broke down in tears and admitted
to having an affair with a co-worker for the past two
months. Teresa's excuses, made me feel
awful. She claimed, she felt lonely.
And ignored when I was grieving,She complained that I was not
providing her needs and that shedeserved happiness.
She even had the arrogance to that.
I had pushed her to cheat by being emotionally unavailable, I

(06:05):
was infuriated, and heartbroken,I told Theresa to leave and that
I wanted a divorce. She asked me to rethink and give
her another opportunity. She screamed and pleaded
claiming it was a mistake and that she still loved me, but I
knew I could never trust her again after this betrayal.
The next day, Teresa called and texted me nonstop, a tempting to
explain herself. She claimed I was being harsh

(06:26):
and exaggerating. she claimed that I had emotionally abandoned
her by initially spending, so much time with Mason, and then
withdrawing, when grieving, She tried to blame me for
encouraging her to cheat. I'm at a total loss.
How could the lady I loved and trusted for eight years do this
to me, especially when I was grieving for my brother and now
she's attempting to blame me. Is it abnormal for me to refuse

(06:47):
to even consider reconciliation?I feel like my entire universe
has been broken. I keep revisiting our
relationship in my head wondering if there were any
indicators, I missed was, Theresa, always so selfish and I
just didn't notice or did Mason's illness and death.
Transformed her, I'm doubting everything.
Now, part of me is upset with myself for not anticipating

(07:08):
this, perhaps if I had worked harder to balance my time
between Mason and Teresa, this would not have occurred.
But then I remember that a loving partner would have
understood and supported me through such a difficult time.
I have an informed, many people about Teresa's a fair.
Yet I'm humiliated and don't want to deal with everyone's
responses, but I know I'll need help moving forward.
Especially if I go through with a divorce.

(07:29):
I am not sure what to do next. The prospect of going through.
A divorce while still grieving Mason is daunting but I also
can't image remaining with someone who could betray me like
this. Any advice would be greatly
appreciated. Thank you all for your
encouraging words and advice to clarify a few points.
Teresa new Mason and I were close she'd met him several
times and appeared to like him. She was in the hospital with me

(07:53):
when he died during my grief. I never entirely shut to Risa
out. We continue to live together
have meals together and so on, Iwas just not in the mood to go
out or be personal before. Confronting Teresa, I perform
some research and discovered that the affair had been going
on for four months. Not too as she stated, so it
began shortly. After Mason died Teresa.

(08:14):
And I had no major relationship troubles prior to this, we had
regular disputes but nothing significant.
She never expressed feeling ignored until Mason became ill.
I appreciate everyone's feedbackas I absorb this betrayal.
I'll give an update whenever I have more information.
Update 1. It's been around two months
since my original post. A lot has transpired.

(08:34):
Therefore, I'd like to provide an update I filed for divorce
soon, after learning to Teresa'sadultery, it was not an easy
decision, but I knew I could never trust her again after what
she had done. Teresa's reaction to the divorce
petition was a mix of outrage and desperate pleas.
She kept calling and messaging me.
Alternately offering emotional apologies and accusing Rance

(08:55):
Teresa showed up unannounced at my office.
She made a scene in the lobby, crying and imploring me to give
her another chance. My co-workers were uncomfortable
and I was mortified, I had to have security escort her out
after that episode. I banned her phone number for my
own sanity, Teresa left our house and moved in with her
folks. I've been staying in the house

(09:16):
but it feels empty and filled with sad memories.
I'm thinking about selling it and finding a new location.
But the prospect of going through another major life
upheaval is daunting. I learned from common friends
that Teresa was telling everyonethat I had mentally abused her
by abandoning her emotionally. She stated that I had refused to
speak or work on our marriage. Forcing, her to seek consolation
elsewhere. It was infuriating to hear these

(09:39):
lies circulated about me. Some of our friends have chosen
sides in the divorce. The majority have been
supportive of me although a handful believe Teresa's,
version of events. I've lost a handful of
friendships as a result of this which hurts even more than
everything else. I'm trying to concentrate on the
folks who have supported me. The divorce process has been
messy, Theresa is claiming that she is entitled to half of

(10:01):
everything including Mason's inheritance.
My lawyer assures me that she has no legal claim to it yet.
She is delaying the process. Regardless, it feels like a slap
in the face that she would attempt to benefit from my
brother's death. After betraying me in the
aftermath of everything. I've been dealing with a lot of
Despair and Trust Issues some days.
It's difficult to get out of bed.
I lost weight. Since I rarely eat, my

(10:24):
performance at work, has diminished but happily my
supervisor. Has remained understanding one
positive development. I reunited with an old high
school classmate, Olivia. We ran into each other at a
coffee shop and started conversing, Olivia lost her
mother to cancer a few years ago.
So she understood exactly what Iwas going through with Mason.
We've been hanging out as friends and it's great to have

(10:46):
someone who gets it. Olivia and I have a lot in
common. Something I had forgotten about,
we were both on the debate team in high school and enjoy
watching old movies. She has been introducing me to
new music and podcasts which hasprovided a wonderful
distraction. Olivia doesn't force me to talk
about Teresa or the divorce but she is an excellent listener.
When I need to vent Teresa flipped out when she discovered,

(11:08):
I was spending time with Olivia.She arrived at my house
unexpectedly yelling that I was a hypocrite for moving on so
soon while vilifying her. She accused me of having an
affair with Olivia, which is completely false.
I had to threaten to call the cops before she left.
The situation has been a nightmare but I'm taking things
one day at a time. I'm working on healing and
discovering who I am outside of my connection with Teresa.

(11:31):
I appreciate my family and friends support during this
trying time. I've been a tempting to honor
Mason's memory and constructive ways.
I donated to the cancer facilitywhere he was treated and have
been volunteering whenever I canMason's wife, Sarah, and their
children have been an excellent source of support.
We have dinner together frequently, and it's helpful to
talk about Mason with others whocare about him.

(11:52):
As much as I do. There are still times when I
miss Teresa, and the life we shared.
But then I remember her betrayaland how she has acted after I
discovered the truth, it helps to emphasize that I'm making the
correct decision by terminating the marriage.
I'm not ready to consider datingagain.
The idea of putting myself out there and risking another
heartbreak is daunting, For the time, being my primary emphasis

(12:14):
is on reconstructing my life andrecuperating from everything
that has occurred. I will provide another update
after the divorces official. Thank you again to everyone who
is expressed kindness and advise.
It truly helps to know that I'm not alone in this update 2.
It has been around six months since my last update.
I was relieved when the divorce was finally finalized.

(12:34):
Last week Teresa fought me everystep of the way attempting to
prolong, the process and collectmore money in the end.
We split our joint assets 50/50 and she did not receive any of
my Mason inheritance. Teresa returned to my office the
day after her divorce became final.
She was crying and begging me toreconsider claiming.
She had made a terrible mistake but still loved me.

(12:55):
I politely but firmly informed her, that it was finished and
requested her to leave. She refused raising a commotion
and security had to remove her out.
It was humiliating so I took therest of the day off.
Work, my employer summoned me tohis office.
The next day, I was concerned that he would disturb by the
disruption, but he was actually very understanding.
He mentioned that he had a messydivorce years ago and offered me

(13:18):
some time off if I needed it, I was appreciative for his help
and understanding on a good note, Olivia has been doing
well, what began as a friendshiphas gradually grown into
something more. We've been officially dating for
approximately two months now, Olivia is compassionate,
sympathetic and patient with me while I work through my trust
difficulties. She encourages me to talk about

(13:39):
Mason and never makes me feel awful for continuing to grieve.
Olivia and I have been taking itslowly which I love we enjoy
cooking together, taking long walks and binge watching TV
shows. She's been assisting me and
rediscovering old hobbies that Ihad abandoned throughout my
marriage such as playing guitar and photography.
I've also focused on myself. I joined a gym, began learning

(14:02):
guitar, and have traveled extensively.
It is fantastic to ReDiscover who I am as a person.
I went on a solo Excursion to the mountains, which I had
always wanted to do, but Theresawas not interested in.
It was pleasant to be alone withmy thoughts and environment
Teresa continues to disparage. Me to anyone who will listen,
She has told common acquaintances that I'm cold and

(14:22):
unfeeling that I never truly loved her and that Olivia and I
must have had an affair prior toour divorce.
It's frustrating but I'm trying not to get involved in her
drama. I have begun spending more time
with Mason's family, his children are growing up so
quickly and it's bittersweet to watch them, hit Milestones, that
Mason isn't present for we've developed a ritual of having

(14:43):
Sunday dinners together, tellingtales about Mason, and keeping
his memory alive. Mason would have celebrated his
birthday last month. It was a difficult day, but
Olivia recommended, we do something to honor, Dad.
We ended up organizing a modest charity race in Mason's honor
with funds benefiting cancer research.
It felt amazing to turn my griefinto something positive overall.

(15:04):
I'm lot better off than I was a year ago.
I still miss Mason deeply but the pain is not as intense.
I am cautiously optimistic aboutmy future with Olivia and I'm
pleased of myself for holding firm and not allowing Theresa to
mislead me into reconciling. There are still difficult days,
of course, sometimes I wake up angry at Teresa for abandoning
our marriage other times. I missed the future we envision

(15:26):
together, but I'm learning to sit with these emotions without
allowing them to overwhelm me. Thank you.
Again to everyone in our community for their support, it
helped me get through some difficult times.
I don't know what the future holds but I'm feeling optimistic
for the first time in a long time, update 3.
It's been almost a year. Since my previous update life

(15:47):
has returned to normal. And I'd want to express my last
opinions on the matter Olivia and I are still together and
going strong, we just moved in together and adopted a dog.
She's been a tremendous help through everything I still have
moments of insecurity and doubt but Olivia is always kind and
supportive. Our relationship isn't perfect.
We've had our share of argumentsand challenges but we always try

(16:09):
to talk freely and work through problems together.
It's wonderful to be around someone who values honesty and
mutual respect. I met Theresa at a mutual
Friend's Wedding a few months ago.
It was awkward, but we managed to remain cordial.
She apologized again for her behavior during our divorce.
And stated that she was in therapy working on herself, I
wished her well, but made it obvious that I was not

(16:31):
interested in rekindling any kind of relationship, including
friendship seeing Teresa of Oak,to variety of feelings.
Part of me, was outraged again, remembering her betrayal in the
suffering, she caused. But I also felt a sense of
closure. Talking to her made me realize
how much I grown and healed in the last few years.
The pain over Mason is coming inwaves.
Now some days are more difficultthan others, particularly around

(16:54):
his birthday and the anniversaryof his death.
But I've discovered healthy methods to cope and celebrate
his memory. I volunteer at the hospital
where he was treated and have grown close to his wife and
children Mason's. Oldest son, at 14 has been
struggling lately. He's been acting out at school
and is dealing with rage issues.I've been spending more time
with him, taking him to basketball, games, and simply

(17:15):
being there to talk. It feels amazing to be there for
him in the same way. Mason has always been for me
Olivia and I have discussed our future together.
We are not in a rush to marry but we both see this as a
long-term relationship. We've spoken about having kids
eventually something I never imagined I desire after what
happened with Teresa it's hard to think of opening my heart

(17:36):
again but Olivia makes me feel protected.
Work is going great. I was promoted a few months ago
which has been both exhilaratingand challenging.
The new work requires more travel which has been difficult
for Olivia and me But we're figuring out how to balance our
time together with our respective activities.
I'm attempting to reconnect withpast hobbies and interests.
I joined a local amateur baseball league which I enjoyed

(17:59):
in college but gave up when lifebecame busy.
It's been exciting to get back on the field and meet new
people. Olivia attends my sports
whenever she can cheering me on from the stands.
Looking back. I see how toxic my relationship
with Theresa had been even before the adultery we had Grown
Apart but we were both afraid toaccept it while I will never
excuse her Affair, I have accepted what happened?

(18:21):
And I'm looking ahead. There are still instances when I
think what, if what if Mason didn't get sick, what if I had
noticed to read some moving awaysooner, what if I done things
differently but I am learning tolet go of such thoughts and
concentrate on the present. I am not the same person.
I was when I wrote the first post two years ago, the anguish
and betrayal. Transformed me, but not all of

(18:42):
the changes were negative I've learned a lot about myself
resilience and what I truly wantfrom a spouse and in life to
anyone going through a similar situation, it does get better.
Take the time to heal, surround yourself with supporting friends
and don't be scared to start afresh.
You deserve happiness and someone who actually appreciates
you, this will be my final update on this storyline.

(19:03):
Thank you again for your kindness and encouragement over
the last few years. It made a impact during the
worst periods. I am looking forward to the
future what ever? It may hold.
Am I the ah for renting my houseto a friend with poor financial
habits. Now she's offering to buy the
house for a ridiculously low price even just one dollar.

(19:25):
Some backstory, I 31 grew up, pretty poor, I don't remember it
well, but at one point, my parents and I were only able to
afford to eat beans and rice, myparents have since been able to
pull out of poverty, and while they aren't Rich, they are
comfortable. And I have used a lot of what I
experienced as a kid as motivation to be super careful
with my money. I got a job in high school

(19:45):
worked, odd jobs on the side, saved up every penny, rode, my
bike everywhere, instead of driving and paying for gas.
And by the time, I moved out of my parents place, I had a little
over dollar 17K in my savings, Idon't have that much tucked away
anymore, but I have Investments and emergency funds and take my
family's finances. Incredibly seriously, as I never
want my children to experience, what I did as a kid mine, and my

(20:07):
husband's Financial Choice, is afforded us the opportunity to
purchase a home in the beginningof 2015, which we bought 50 50th
with his mother. He paid his half up front, I
made a large down payment and his mother covered the rest with
an escrow agreement that I wouldpay off what she had purchased.
I have since completely paid my half in the house is fully owned
by Elf and my husband, it's a four bedroom, one and a half

(20:28):
bath two-story home with a finished basement attached, two
car garage on a double lot. We got the house for an absolute
steal at only dollar. 118k for sale by owners.
Since purchasing we have installed a fence, updated the
oven washer and dryer, water, heater furnace and paid for
materials to have all the interior rooms repainted.
The only updates, it needs are purely cosmetic.

(20:51):
As the exterior paint is an uglyBrown pink color, which we have
started repainting and need to finish the hardwood floors.
Have some Distortion due to it, being a 100 plus while our old
house and us having dogs when welive there and the bathroom
could use an update. But structurally, speaking
doesn't need one needless to say, on a scale of one, five,
with one being tear down the house and start over and five

(21:12):
being its ready to put on the market to sell for dollar 300K.
Today, the house is sitting at a3.5 on a four, backstory
complete. Let's get into what has become
my biggest headache for the pastfour years.
I have a friend, let's call. Carly 27 who had incredibly
similar experiences to me growing up but struggles with
finances and has never seemed toget the hang of keeping any sort

(21:33):
of savings over 50 dollars at a time.
I'm not sure if it's a lack of self-control or that she simply
too focused in the moment when she gets paid and doesn't think
to look in the long term, but she consistently makes her lack
of funds. Everyone else's problem.
I don't blame her for having issues with money, as learning
to create a budget. Isn't exactly taught in school
and it took me years to learn tofind a healthy balance and the

(21:54):
freedom of being able to buy whatever you want with.
No, restrictions is super tempting.
But at some point, you have to learn to take responsibility
during the course of our friendship.
I have helped her build. Countless budgets based on my
own. I made roughly the same amount
of money as her, but each time they failed for whatever reason.
We tried different ways to try to trick her brain into
realizing that money sitting in her account, wasn't to be

(22:15):
touched as everything needed to be used for bills Etc.
And each time, she would wind upstill using every penny.
It finally came to the point where I refused to help her with
her budget anymore, because she never listens to my advice.
And when I pointed out the easiest and fastest method to
get her spending under control was to get a payee, she said,
she didn't need to be treated like a child who receives an
allowance fair enough. I washed my hands of that topic.

(22:38):
Carly moved out of her mom's house.
A little over six years ago and into a mutual friend's place.
Let's call her Tia 27. As far as I have been told by
Tia, Carly paid little to nothing and rent even though
they both worked at the same company and made close to the
same salary, Carly's living space was an absolute disaster.
She moved into the basement and it was lucky.
If there was even a walkway to get to the washer and dryer.

(23:01):
She constantly asked me to come over to help her clean and
organized her space. And because I'm a people
pleaser. I would always agree each time
we would make significant progress, but then by the next
weekend, when I would come over to help again, it was as if a
tornado had gone through her space in the course of the week,
I have no idea how she was able to fit so much stuff into that
tiny space. She would never clean up on her

(23:22):
own or make any sort of effort to put anything away and would
always wait for me to come over.And if anyone were to come down
to watch us, it was always me cleaning or organizing while she
sat back and dictated where everything went getting her to
donate or throw anything away, was like pulling teeth as
somehow, even the smallest scrapof paper had some sort of
sentimental value. After a little over a year of

(23:42):
them living together, Tia couldn't handle it anymore and
asked, Carly to find some other living situation.
She wasn't going to throw her onto the street but she
literally couldn't live with Carly any longer.
There are a lot of other things that built up that caused this,
but I won't go into that here. It just so happened that my
husband and I had purchased a second home around this same
time. What we had owed on the first
was paid off. My husband had come into an

(24:04):
inheritance and we were able to look for our forever home that
better fit, our wants and needs.The best part for us, is that
the new house was literally a five-minute drive from the old
house. We had yet to decide whether we
wanted to sell or rent. Our first house when Carly
approached us with the offer of renting, it from us, she and two
other friends were looking to move in together and with the
house, being as big as it was, there was plenty of space for

(24:26):
all of them to have their own room and privacy since we hadn't
yet decided if we wanted to sell.
And there were three, renters already lined up, we decided to
use it as a means of passive income to invest in our future.
And then down the road, we wouldrevisit whether or not we wanted
to sell it or keep it as a rental.
The red flag that I didn't initially pick up on was that
Carly was already referring to the house as her house to her

(24:47):
two potential. Roommates, even before moving
in, or signing a lease. So by the time, it came to them,
all moving in Carly had driven the other two, girls, to back
out, the way I had written the original lease agreement was
that the rent was flexible depending on how many tenants
there were so for the three of them.
They would have only been paying$750 total per month and if only
one person was renting, it wouldbe dollar 400 per month.

(25:08):
In this area, you can expect to rent a bedroom for $400.
So this was a crazy good deal aswe really didn't need the money
and it was mainly to pay for insurance power heat and
property taxes. In the four years that Carly has
lived in that house rent has gone up four times once to 500
dollars a month, because the power bill went up and we needed
to adjust for that the second time to 550 dollars a month.

(25:30):
Due to the same reason, the third time to 750 dollars, after
she got a new job and last year,in October more on that later.
Also in the four years, she has lived here, two separate
opportunities for roommates havebacked out each time because she
was setting the rules and referring to the property as her
house, despite having zero claimto it.
And the fact that each person would have their own lease

(25:50):
agreement. When she first moved in, she was
working a minimum wage paying job, and she was my friend,
hence, the low monthly rent, buta year and a half ago, got a new
job at a local University, 30-minute drive away.
That pays very well and has great benefits.
But somehow she manages to blow through her entire paycheck on,
I don't even know what. Also during the course of these
past four years, she wound up owing me 750 dollars in back

(26:12):
rent, as she repeatedly was unable to pay me the full
monthly amount due to repeated miscalculations in her Budget
Inn overspending on. Garbage, which she then stuffed
into mine and my husband's property, my husband and I
realized after a couple years ofbeing landlords that we aren't
cut out for it. We have too much on our own
plates and had no time for upkeep and Carly wasn't holding
up her end of the rental agreement that she had signed.

(26:33):
We talked about it and settled on the decision to sell but we,
of course, didn't want to throw Carly onto the street and
informed her of our plan. She proposed to buy it from us
and started going through the route of getting a loan during
this process. She realized that the house
wasn't what she wanted, she wanted land in the house itself
was far too big for her. She told us that and we
understood and I even helped drive her to meet with Realtors,

(26:56):
so she could check out other options to buy houses elsewhere,
but each one fell through. As she discovered that she
wasn't going to get a new homeowners discount or bargain
with any loans that she looked at.
And all of the loans required, at minimum of a 10% down
payment, which she, of course, didn't have, This is where the
entitlements starts. Carly wasn't going to be able to
buy a home at least not the homeshe wanted and settled on by our

(27:17):
house. We had briefly talked at the
very beginning of her tenancy that we may consider a rent to
own situation but no agreement had been made no sale price had
been decided no appraisals or property inspections completed
nothing had been signed It was simply a comment that we had
made in passing and then chattedabout later again in passing.
She took it as gospel truth and said that, if she bought the

(27:39):
house that she expected the 2.5 years of rent, she had paid us
to be computed off the total sale of the house.
I reminded her that we never signed anything about a
rent-to-own and informed her, that wasn't how this was going
to work. Her next tactic was to try to
suggest that we quit claim deed,the property to her again
without her paying us. Anything additional to the 2.5
years worth of rent. She had already paid us how this

(28:00):
works. Is that whoever owns the
property grants the title, deed,to whoever they're giving it to.
And it's generally a lot faster and cheaper than going through
the process of buying a house. But there is still generally
something paid for the property.When the title is transferred.
At this point, she'd only paid about dollar 10K in rent, more
than half of which went to paying for utilities that we
covered in of having her pay them in property taxes.

(28:21):
And she was making it sound as if she wasn't going to give us
anything beyond that. I again told her that this would
not be a viable option, the house was in great condition and
even with the exterior paint andrepairs to the floors and
bathroom was worth, at least what we had paid for it dollar
118. K.
She tried to spin it that she was doing us a favor by taking
it off our hands. As I had expressed to her, that

(28:42):
we were tired of being landlordsand it was more effort than we
had time for her last attempt atbuying the house on her own, was
to offer me one dollar. That's right.
A single dollar. I will admit.
I don't know if this was a fail joke attempt on her part, but it
certainly fell flat and I was somad.
I was shaking though. I laughed at all.
Side note during the time, she has lived in the house, my

(29:02):
husband. And I have some stuff stored in
the garage, as Carly parked on the street, due to convenience
and she suggested on multiple occasions that she start
charging us rent for storing things, in our own house, when
none of it was in her way whatsoever.
And we had already made it clearthat if she purchased the house,
that we would remove all of our property.
At the end of 2022, Carly started dating Reggie 28m They

(29:23):
were long distance and would take turns visiting each other
and Carly made the comment to Reggie that we were looking to
sell the house and we threw out a couple numbers.
The very lowest being dollar 100K but said that we, of course
would have to have an appraisal and look at market value Etc.
He offered to buy it from us andsaid that he would start the
process in March April of 2023. I was relieved, my husband was

(29:44):
relieved. Carly was released everything
was looking great. Some information about Reggie at
the time, he is a retired Marine.
He gets a monthly check from thegovernment for clothes to 2000
dollars, on top of his well-paying job.
I'm guessing on what Carly told me, but at the time, he made his
offer, he was probably making between dollar 4,500 5,000 a

(30:05):
month. When March, April came around
Carly and Reggie informed us, that he would not be able to
afford paying both his rent where he lived and a monthly
mortgage payment and wouldn't beable to start the purchase
process then, but would start the purchase process in October
instead when he planned a move in with Carly before, Reggie
moved in and ex-friend offered aRenner room.
The house from Carly and pay herdespite subletting being clearly

(30:26):
stated in the lease agreement isprohibited.
Carly so generously offered to pay us some of the amount that
she was paid. The agreement fell through, in
the friend, did not stay in the room.
I'm not exactly sure why he chose to do things the way he
did, but Reggie didn't start thepurchase process at all until
after he had moved and quit his job.
Meaning the only source of income.
He had to show to a mortgage company was the monthly stipend

(30:47):
from the government, which even with a veterans loan doesn't
work as proof of income. When he moved in rent increased
to 1,000 a month, which is stillunder value.
For the size of the home. And a brand new rental agreement
was written and signed stating that if they had not started the
buying process to purchase the house from us by mid-april of
2024 that we would not be renewing, the lease Norwood.
Would we work with them on monthto month?

(31:08):
Rental options, as myself and myhusband are completely and
totally over this mess. We also stated in the rental
agreement that we were not goingto list the house for sale as a
sign of good faith to allow Reggie and Carly First Choice on
the house to buy it. Here's a rapid fire list of
things that have happened since October Reggie, paid the 750
dollars, that Carly odd to me inbackground.
Carly and Reggie informed us at some point either late November

(31:31):
or early December that they would not be buying the house as
the repairs required amounted tomore than dollar 50k.
I don't know where they got thisnumber.
As I have budgeted on multiple occasions to redo the flooring,
and it would be less than dollar15K to redo the entire house
Norwood, would repainting cost more than a few thousand or the
bathroom remodel as they intended to do the work
themselves. We repaired the major damage in

(31:52):
the bathroom recently for less than 500 dollars.
They could not acquire rental housing due to having three cats
and will indeed be staying in the house.
We inform them, we are not renewing the lease and
reiterated, our reasoning. I made the mistake of telling
Carly what we owed on our mortgage and they turned around
and offered US dollar 50k to buythe house from us, less than 1/3
the market value of the house. If we sold it as is, we politely

(32:15):
Decline and then promptly went home and screamed into pillows.
They have repeatedly told Tia that they are desperate for
money to the point of debating setting up a GoFundMe.
All the while, Carly has gotten two brand new tattoos in the
past year and has an international trip.
She has paid for in full that she is going on at the end of
March and Reggie has still not acquired even a part-time job,
we emergency installed a water heater, that Reggie paid for

(32:36):
that. I will have fully paid back by
the end of March Carly. Quit her job and now the only
income they will have after the end of this week is Reggie's
military. Stipend Carly nonchalantly
stated that we would have to renegotiate rent for this month.
And next month there will be no negotiations.
She made a bad decision and willhave to live with the
consequences of her actions. The most recent thing, she did

(32:57):
was text me two days ago. Asking if she could pay me in
food for this month's rent knowing her the amount.
She will pay will amount to onlya couple meals and maybe 75.00
that they will owe. I owe Reggie roughly 500 dollars
left to pay off the last bit of the water heater.
I jokingly answered that the electricity and insurance
companies, don't accept food as payment.

(33:17):
So neither can I she then offered to pay me what it would
cost to pay these expenses and then the rest, she would pay in
food. I have not responded.
It's been a day and a half. They will pay me in cash and
nothing else. I'm done no discussion my
warning to all of you don't mix business and friends without
getting to know said friends very well first.
If I had known what I would be walking into, I never would have

(33:40):
allowed her to move it. Relevant comments, comment one.
Why are you allowing her to dictate anything?
Hey, Victor period, op. I'd love to but where we live
requires 60 days notice, and that gives them an end to stay
past their lease. They conveniently drop the news
on me that she quit her job whenit was too late for me to give
the required time. For written eviction notice

(34:01):
comment, too. Have you been inside the house?
Since these two freeloaders moved in, I am thinking that
they may have destroyed some parts of the house, which is why
they came up with the 50k and repairs.
Let them know that either. They get all their crap out, or
you will just put it out for thetrash.
If it is worth anything, you could sell it for some of the
money that they owe you, but I would bet, most of the stuff is

(34:21):
just crap. If they don't move out, when you
say the contract is over, it is 100% time to evict them.
But if that happens, check with a lawyer and see if you can cut
off all utilities, water electricity gas and any other
utility you want them out before, they destroy the inside
of the house, if they do, make sure to take pictures and put
them on social media and let everyone of your friends, know

(34:43):
exactly what she did. Make sure that no other friend
is dumb enough to let them Move in with them Opie.
Luckily, I have been inside the house.
I was there on Sunday and was able to do a quick walk through
in everything. Seems to be okay right now.
But I'll keep that in mind for when we deliver the eviction
letter update one I should clarify The reason we let Carly

(35:03):
move in the first place, is because she made it sound, like
she literally had nowhere to go.She'd spun a tail that her home
life with her. Mom was not safe untrue.
She made it sound like Tia was literally kicking her out that
day. Also, untrue and she panically
hounded me relentlessly in person and over the phone until
my husband. And I made a super quick
decision to let her rent from us.
I've learned this as a method ofmanipulation I've reached out to

(35:27):
an attorney, we talked about everything that's happened, they
read through the lease and gave us a few options.
We wait until May 1st when Carlyand Reggie are supposed to be
out of the house. If they're not out delivery
intent to sell. Notice that gives them 90 days.
To vacate. The property after the lease is
up, not ideal. We deliver the intent to sell.
Now that means they have until mid June, to GTFO, still not

(35:50):
ideal. But better, if they're still in
the house passed the 90 days. We file, an unlawful detainer in
the cops, forcibly. Kick them out.
We can't evict because we don't have the grounds.
Even with all of this, the courts just about everywhere are
against landlords and in favor of tenants the minute, their
rent is late. We then have grounds for
eviction that gives them 14 daysto pay or GTFO but if they pay

(36:13):
the eviction process ends. So still not ideal, they can't
get squatters rights because they haven't been here long
enough. I'm going to be telling her
mother, everything she's done because I'm pretty sure she has
no idea. I'm also telling all our mutual
friends, I've done a lot of self-reflection lately before,
riding this post and came to several conclusions.
I know she's not my friend, I had a false idea that I was

(36:36):
helping someone that I saw as a friend, and in the end, I
enabled her shity behavior. I'm aware.
I'm a doormat. I know, I don't know how to set
boundaries. I spent a lot of time on the
phone and in professional offices over the last few days.
I'm on a waiting list to see a therapist and learn to set
boundaries because I don't ever want to teach my kids.
My bad behaviors and habits thatgot me into this mess and for

(36:57):
all of you who mention that it is a miracle, my husband is
still with me. He was with me along the whole
process. I never did anything without his
consent since we own the house 50 50th.
I'm taking most of the blame because Carly was my friend, I
apologized to him. And we had a deep conversation
about working on communication. He apologized for not seeing
that. My friend wasn't who she claimed

(37:18):
to be in. Didn't warn me.
I was being manipulated. Update 2.
This is hopefully the last update.
Sorry it took so long to get back on here, they're out and
have been since April 1st and no, it wasn't a joke, despite
the date. Life's been insane.
And I've been so overwhelmed with this whole situation that
it's been hard to get back on here and face it all again, they
left the house a mess, but that's not surprising.

(37:39):
They claimed, they didn't have the time or money to finish,
even though there was a whole month left on their lease,
honestly, I'm happy that they'reout though.
I am pissed about the mess. I'd rather clean up a bit
instead of fighting them in court to kick them out.
I told her mom and showed her everything and her mom was angry
as well and told her off a couple times.
For one leaving the house in thestate.
They did in two treating, me andothers the way she has.

(38:03):
I've also started therapy and I'm working on setting
boundaries and getting over my people-pleasing.
The last I spoke to Carly was yesterday because I learned from
a friend that she joked about leaving the house, a mess on
purpose because she was mad at me, I confronted her and asked
why even if it was a joke because even jokes have some
basis in truth, she said that itwas because emotions were
running high and she was stressed at the end.

(38:24):
When they were getting ready to leave that she was frustrated
with how little I did with the house while she was there.
Despite me repairing, everythingthat needed it ASAP and she was
mad. My husband and I stored some of
our things in the garage. I explained that one.
It's our house. We can do that too.
There was plenty of space in thegarage, for her things, as well.
And three None of her Vehicles would have fit in the garage

(38:45):
anyway, as they were all too long and none of them ran.
So she couldn't have even gottenthem into the garage.
Carly also had to junk out two of the vehicles.
She left behind even though she'd explained she had someone
who could keep them on their property so she could work on
them. I don't understand any of her
logic. I'm done.
Trying to figure it out. Last thing she said to me, was
that she was sorry though. I don't believe she genuinely is

(39:07):
and is just saying it to make herself feel better.
Thanks to everyone that's read and commented and given advice.
It's been greatly appreciated. Sorry if it's a bit
anti-climactic of an ending, butI'm relieved that it's done.
Some good news is that we're working with a buyer now and are
making steps towards selling forwhat the place is actually
worth. Am I the assshole for feeling

(39:27):
suspicious after finding condomsin my boyfriend's toiletry bag.
This morning I was helping my 25.
Boyfriend 23, get ready for work.
He asked me to grab his toothbrush and toothpaste out of
his toiletry bag. He has one of those electric
toothbrushes with the detachablehead and I couldn't find the
head. So I opened up another pocket to
look for it. I found condoms, a lot of them.

(39:49):
He was given this toiletry bag for Christmas before he left on
a three-month trip to visit family in Europe.
He acted surprised. Like he didn't know they were in
there and took them out immediately.
He acted like, he didn't know that pocket existed, I'd give
him the benefit of the doubt, but at some point, these condoms
were packed in his bag over the past six months.
We've been together for two years.

(40:10):
The worst part is, their latex condoms.
I'm allergic to latex. We only use non latex condoms.
In addition, to my birth controlAIO for feeling suspicious about
this. I feel like I'm going crazy
update. I've seen the comments and I'm
kind of freaking out. I messaging my therapist right
now to figure out the best path forward I was there at Christmas

(40:31):
when he was Given the back, it was at his best friend's family
house. So part of me is hoping that his
best friend, put them in there. Not knowing, I'm allergic to
latex, we haven't been intimate as much lately.
Maybe once in the past two months, I've been really scared
that. He's not attracted to me anymore
because that's what most people say.
On here is the reason for someone's sex drive changing, so
drastically. He asked to move in with me when

(40:53):
he came back from his trip and Isaid yes.
So now I feel really trapped, like, what if he's been cheating
this whole time, he's been living with me.
He shares his location, but thatdoesn't really mean anything.
I'm here all the time, I've seenthe stories of how people cheat
even when sharing their location, I wish I hadn't seen
anything and I don't know anything.
He could say, to make me feel more secure, someone said I

(41:13):
shouldn't have asked, so I couldSnoop and find out for sure, but
I don't want to have to snoop through my partner's belongings
to find proof of them. Cheating on me, a relationship
without trust is dead. We're supposed to talk later and
I'll update afterwards. Everyone is so sure he is
cheating and I really, really hope he's not because I don't
think I'll be able to handle it if he is.
I'm already struggling with my mental health as is.

(41:35):
Additional information from op on why?
She was in therapy Opie, I'm in therapy because I have cptsd.
I am a survivor of attempted murder at the hands of my
biological father, sexual assault and abuse.
I am in therapy because my diagnosis is something I will
have to live with for the remainder of my life because I
have experienced severe trauma and because I have no intention

(41:56):
of letting it ruin my life and relationships with those.
I love. I'm also not the one turning
down sex. I'm the one that's been
attempting to initiate. I message my therapist because I
have a tendency to push people away to protect myself as a
result of my history with abuse.My therapist warned me.
At the start of this current relationship about self-sabotage
and reading too much into things.
I texted her because I was unsure of whether or not, I'm

(42:19):
overreacting because sometimes like any other human I needed
advice. I came on here while I was
waiting for her to respond, I don't expect people on Reddit to
be informed on the details of mylife and relationship to be able
to have the full picture. Thank you for the diagnosis
assumptions and empathy, Update one.
I definitely was not expecting to see over 1,000 comments on my

(42:40):
post. This update is long to address
everyone's concerns in the previous post.
Thank you to the people who sentme kind messages to check on me.
I'm not sure what the people whosent me messages trying to fuck
me were expecting aside from getting blocked.
That being said, I did have a conversation with my boyfriend
last night. I was always planning on having
an in-depth conversation about what I had found but there was

(43:03):
nothing I could do about it while he was at work.
I texted my therapist because I could tell I was starting to
spiral and posted on here while I was waiting for her response
which I think was a mistake if I'm being honest.
Although, the majority of the comments were supportive, it's
impossible for y'all to have a full of a picture as my
therapist does, and I should have just waited for her to
respond, to me and said of coming on here.

(43:23):
The massive amount of comments was very overwhelming.
However, I do think that postingdid help me feel more secure and
thinking it was suspicious and enabled me to be more assertive
when we talked. I appreciate all the comments
telling me. I was not overreacting, he never
said I was but his nonchalant response.
Certainly made me feel that way.I appreciate the thought out
comments, encouraging me to havea conversation with him and

(43:45):
giving me genuine advice for it.The second conversation went
better. I didn't accuse him of anything.
I pretty much just said that finding non latex condoms.
In addition to the lack of intimacy, I'd been receiving,
was making me feel confused and obsessed.
I asked him where the condoms came from.
His older brother, gave them to him while he was in Europe.
To prevent confusion. I'm going to use fake names from

(44:06):
here on out. My boyfriend is Theo.
His oldest brother is Alvin his other brother is Simon.
Yes, like the Chipmunks. I couldn't think of other names
for Three Brothers. Sorry.
Theo hadn't met his mother's side of the family, including
his mother, grandmother, aunt, and older siblings until his
trip. The entire purpose was to get to

(44:27):
know his family. He spent half with his aunt,
grandma brothers, and cousin in Spain, the other half of the
trip. He spent with his mother in the
middle of nowhere in Portugal, helping her open a kiosk.
It was not a sightseeing trip, he didn't get to see any big
monuments or go to major cities.I was not able to come because
I'm in school and work full-timeand it wasn't worth it for me to

(44:48):
just come for a week during the spring break.
I also thought it was important for him to enjoy his one-on-one
time with his mom since he was separated from her when he was
an infant. His brothers are very different
people, Simon seems well, adjusted with a long-term
girlfriend. He spent a lot of time with
Simon and his girlfriend. Who was the only one there?
Fluent in English and helped himtranslate when his Spanish fell

(45:08):
short, his oldest brother the, 30 year old, who gave him.
The condoms Alvin has been in and out of prison for a majority
of his life. I guess Spain has some weird
laws around squatting. So Whenever he gets out of
prison, the dude just claims abandoned property and fixes it
up to live in because I guess the government would have to
provide him housing. If they kicked him out, anyways
while Theo was on the trip, he called and texted me every day.

(45:30):
He told me about Alvin obnoxiously cat calling girls
when they'd all walked down the street and how Alvin had tried
to get both him and Simon to go to an orgy with him, despite
both of them having girlfriends.Theo was very clear about having
a girlfriend. He carries around a picture of
me in his wallet and his aunt said, he talked about me a lot
while he was there. Despite, this Alvin was very

(45:51):
pushy with him about how he should be fucking a bunch of
women while he was there and having fun, I remember this
from, when Theo was there, he found it really annoying.
So, did Simon, I guess during one of those conversations Alvin
straight up gave Theo bunch of condoms to use to cheat on me.
Side note. I counted them on a comment.
Someone left about how many are typically in a pack.

(46:11):
There are still there. I think there's eight.
I don't know how many come in the packs in Spain.
Theo hid them in his bag. He said he would have left them
there but his aunt cleaned his room regularly and he didn't
want the drama of his other family members.
Seeing once he got back, he forgot they were in there.
He only uses his toiletry bag when he goes to the gym, we went

(46:32):
out together with our friends, Saturday night after his shift
and stopped at the gym on the way down town.
So he could shower and freshen up, otherwise his toothbrush is
in our bathroom. He is not living out of a
suitcase. He is fully moved in.
I do see how some commenters sawthe existence of the toiletry
bag as a red flag when we live together.
So I wanted to clear that up. I did ask him, why?

(46:53):
He accepted the condoms. He said he had zero intention of
using them and that he accepted them because Alvin wouldn't
listen to anything. Theo said about me and that he
left him alone after that. Theo didn't even say goodbye to
him when he left. He tried to spend as little time
with Alvin as possible, despite him constantly inviting both
Theo and Simon over to his abandoned house.
Simon grew up with Alvin, but still seemed pretty content

(47:16):
about avoiding him. When I asked about it while Theo
was there, I guess he's just nota good person.
So the rest of the family, avoids him when possible.
So that's it. My boyfriend didn't cheat on me.
The condoms came from his older brother, I believe him.
He was very straightforward withhis answers and was more
concerned with my well-being. When he came home and saw how
upset, I was he wasn't defensiveat all.

(47:38):
He listened to me without interrupting.
He told me, he loves me and thathe has zero desire to cheat on
me. He also works too jobs, shares,
his location, and usually is at home.
If he is not at work or the occasional Jim visit, he doesn't
have the time to see other womenand if he does have spare time,
he spends it with me or his friends who are.
So my friends, he does have friends separate from our friend

(48:00):
group at work, but he invites meto come along when they've gone
out or asks me to join them whenthey play OverWatch after work.
I love him. I believe him and I'm moving
past this. That doesn't mean I'll let any
additional red flags. Slide if they pop up though, as
many of you said, I'm still young and have my whole life
ahead of me, if things get worse.
I know, I'll be okay by myself. I love him and I want him in my

(48:23):
life, but my happiness doesn't depend on his presence.
I have a therapy session tomorrow and I've had a lot of
time to think in hindsight. I think what made me spiral the
most was that if he really did cheat on me, I'd be living with
a stranger. I've had so much trust built up
towards him. So I view him as this person who
would never hurt me intentionally or yell at me or
cheat on me. If he was capable of cheating on

(48:44):
me, he could be capable of thoseother things too.
That was really scary to think about and made me spiral, the
massive amount of comments whereeveryone was so convinced he was
a terrible person and that I hadbeen fooled.
Also did not help. I felt like I had no idea how he
would react towards me. If it was true and I was very
very scared. As soon as he came home.
I felt very silly for feeling that way.

(49:05):
He is nothing. Like my ex he's never given me a
reason to be afraid of him. I shouldn't have let comments on
the internet freaked me out so bad and I definitely need to
take some time away from Reddit.I hope I addressed all the
questions concerns in the comments.
Thank you for all your help. Thank you for listening for the
commenters who had questions regarding our sex life and
relationship in general. When he first came back from his

(49:28):
trip and moved in things were normal and we both had high sex
drives things started. Slowing down, pretty drastically
over the past couple of months. We've talked about it prior to
me, finding the condoms. We both acknowledge that, it's
an issue and that we're at an age, where our sexual activity
should be at its peak. He says, he doesn't know what's
wrong. He's embarrassed because he's
attracted to me and doesn't understand how he can have a

(49:49):
gorgeous girlfriend, and lose his sex.
Drive, his words, not mine. He has an appointment next week
to get his hormones checked and has been looking into getting a
therapist of his own in case, the issue is mental and not
physical it. Still difficult to not feel
insecure. When I try initiating and he's
not in the mood, but he still makes an effort to show
affection in other ways, our current level of intimacy is an

(50:10):
ideal but I don't think it's a lost cause as long as we're
working towards a solution together.
We have date nights every week. I'm very supportive of him
spending time with his friends and he does the same for me, we
live together but no one is clingy or codependent we do
check in with each other to see how we're feeling about the The
living situation since it is somewhat new and we're still
figuring out how to divide and conquer with household tasks.

(50:32):
I'm a full-time student, and I work full-time.
He works two jobs. We both contribute equally and
do our best to make time for ourselves and each other.
Despite our busy schedules. I have 14 credits this summer
and barely exists outside of work and school Lowell for the
commoners. Who had some things to say about
me. Having a therapist, or mental
health issues. I try my best to ensure that I

(50:53):
am my main support system. I've been in the position before
of being someone's emotional punching bag, due to their
mental illness, and I would never ever put someone.
I love in that position. I'm in therapy because I have
experienced an extreme amount oftrauma and don't want my cptsd
to impact my life and relationships in a negative way.
I grew up with a mom with severeanxiety and most likely
undiagnosed PTSD related to the trauma.

(51:16):
Both of us experienced at the hands of my biological father,
she doesn't believe in therapy. I had to call 911 several times
as a small child because of her panic attacks.
I love my mom. And our relationship has come a
long way, but the last thing I would want if when I have
children is for me to be an unstable parental figure.
My usage of therapy doesn't wantme staying single, my therapist

(51:38):
has been very encouraging of this relationship.
Since my boyfriend asked me out two years ago, I had gotten out
of an incredibly abusive and toxic relationship the year
prior and had 0 in tension of getting into another serious
relationship. Anytime soon, I was thriving and
my therapist thought I was ready, but I told my boyfriend
that I needed to focus on myself.
He took things slow. He was respectful and patient.

(52:00):
Every step of the way until I was ready.
He has never raised his voice atme or even cussed at me.
He's a very caring partner. I think his love language is
based on quality time and acts of service.
He's not great with words but hetries, he can be a bit
emotionally distant at times andnot know exactly what to say
when I'm upset. But that doesn't prevent him
from being there and giving me ahug when I need it.

(52:22):
We've been going through a roughpatch with our intimacy.
And when I was off my meds, I felt like he and everyone else
in my life viewed me as a burden.
Despite him telling me he'd be there for me.
And for me to just ask for whatever I needed, he's told me
many times that he's still attracted to me, and that it has
nothing to do with me. But when I was feeling low, I
kind of let my past trauma impact how I felt about myself
being repeatedly sexually assaulted kind of made me feel

(52:45):
like my worth is based on my sexuality, so having a boyfriend
who is an all over me anymore? Made me feel like there was
something wrong with me. Like, if I'm trying to initiate
and I'm available and the personwho loves me doesn't want it,
but someone else was willing to violently, take it from me when
I didn't want it. What is that say about me?
I know that's not rational. And I've talked a lot about it
in therapy, but it is something that I struggle with.

(53:06):
Sometimes, I posted on here during a low time with my
depression because I needed to vent and didn't want to burden
anyone on a new with my irrational.
Negativity, depression is weird especially after years of
therapy, when I'm at my lowest, the intrusive thoughts are
overwhelming but deep down, I know there are irrational.
And that they'll eventually passeven if it doesn't feel like it
on the surface level, I know some of the things I said, then

(53:28):
were concerning but I really wasn't in any danger.
There's a lot of things I want to accomplish in my life and I
know I'm capable of them, even if it does feel hopeless,
sometimes I know I have people in my life, who love me?
I just have a hard time reachingout for help when I need it and
need to be better at letting people be there for me.
My mom raised me to be really self-sufficient, and she's also
got a lot on her plate with my dad being sick.

(53:49):
So I don't want to bother her and make her spiral more than
she already is. I've been set back a lot with my
education because of all the stuff I've been going through.
But I know I have a bright future and that I should be
proud of myself for making it this far.
I am back on medication and am increasing the frequency of my
therapy appointments from once amonth to every other week.
I was doing. Well, before I went off my meds.

(54:10):
So I'm doing my best to get backon track.
Sorry for rambling. I know, I don't owe anyone an
explanation of my mental health here, but I know some people
were worried. I'm okay, I'm going to be okay
with or without my Boyfriend, mymental illness does not prevent
me from being a loving and supportive, friend and partner.
Using therapy, doesn't make me aweak person, incapable of

(54:30):
standing up for myself and making decisions.
Update too. I'm low-key regretting posting
an update at all. I don't know why the opinions of
strangers bother me, but it's kind of annoying that so many
people didn't read the entire thing.
And just said, I wrote All That to convince myself, I wrote that
a full 24 hours after I had my conversation with him and
debated. Posting anything at all because
I figured people would be convinced he cheated.

(54:52):
Regardless of anything, I had tosay, it's detail because so many
people had different things to say about different parts of my
original post. I thought if I just posted his
brother gave him the condoms people would say.
That was a vague answer of course.
It feels like a complex story tosomeone who never heard about
his trip but the only thing I didn't already know was that his
brother had given him condoms? His trip was a shit show.

(55:14):
He was on the phone with me every single day, telling me
about it and fell asleep on the phone with me, 99% of the time.
He wasn't going out at night, hewasn't partying half his trip.
He spent with his estranged mother and her crazy racist.
Abusive boyfriend, who kept accusing him of stealing and
saying, while shit about how he couldn't believe my boyfriend
would sleep with an asterisk. Risk asterisk are like me.

(55:35):
I had to talk him down on the phone to keep him from freaking
out, an endangering himself because he had no way of getting
home. If his mom's boyfriend kicked
him out, he already got abandoned in a random town, in
Portugal. Buy them for like a full day and
a half at one point, I'm not surprised the condom slipped his
mind if he hadn't maintained constant communication with me
while he was there, I'd be more suspicious if he hadn't told me

(55:57):
about all the other crazy shit. His brother pulled while he was
there. I'd be more suspicious if he had
gotten defensive at all. I'd be suspicious.
He didn't lie to me. He didn't know they were there.
The bag has a million pockets and he only really uses one of
them. The pocket seemed empty from the
outside. He forgot he stashed them there.
People seem so sure that I'm this naive, spineless person

(56:19):
when I'm not. If you'd read what I said about
my mental health, you would know.
I already have a tendency to be hyper Vigilant about red flags,
and be avoided to protect myself.
I don't like being vulnerable. I don't like, depending on other
people. I mentioned my boyfriend, never
yelling or cursing because I've quite literally never witnessed
him, get angry. The most upset, I've seen him
was when he was trying to defendme while he was in Europe.

(56:40):
He is probably the most calm stoic person I've ever met.
I love that about him, I love him.
I trust him. Also his last serious
relationship ended with him, catching his, ex in the act of
cheating on him. She had mental health, issues
and responded to being caught byattempting to kill herself by
walking into traffic. I know some internet troll is

(57:00):
going to say, that's another far-fetched story, but I know
it's true, his best friend's mom, who is basically also, his
mom pulled me aside, when she met me and told me that she was
glad, he found someone that makes him so happy after
everything, he went through withher.
I don't think he would cheat on me after going through something
like that. He's a really good person.
He's fully capable of being a support system.
For me, I just was afraid to lethim because I didn't want him to

(57:23):
feel like he had to worry about me or take care of me the way he
did with her. That's not healthy though.
I'm trying to be better at trusting people when they say
that they want to be there for me and that includes him.
We met at school. He sat behind me in class so he
couldn't even really see me whenI asked him later.
What, most attracted him to me. He said that I was well-spoken.
My appearance was just a bonus, I don't want to sound conceited

(57:47):
but there is rarely a time when I'm in public and I'm not
approached by someone who wants to Kat call me compliment me or
ask me out? I was almost kidnapped twice as
a teenager. I hate being a coached.
I hate being asked out. I turned down every other person
that approached me at school trying to hook up or ask me out,
but when he did it, he was so nervous and respectful and he

(58:07):
felt different somehow. And so I said yes, on our very
first date, he took me to an artmuseum.
We went to an amusement park after that, he followed that up
with a picnic Under the Stars, where we spoke for at least five
or six hours about our lives, and what we wanted in the
future, it felt scary at the time because it was the best
date I'd ever been on in my life.
And I didn't think I was ready for anything serious, and he

(58:28):
came along and made me feel so comfortable.
And at ease, we both come from emotionally, volatile parents,
and are trying to do our best, not to become them, we connected
right away. But I still wanted to take
things slow, it took six months before I was ready to make
things official. During that time, he made it
clear that I was the only one hewas interested in.
He detailed my car multiple times brought me flowers.

(58:49):
Got my cat, little holiday themed Bandana's.
He bought me vinyls of Albums. That he noticed, I listened to,
in the car. He did all of this without
expecting anything in return, and still does these things to
this day. He's trying to learn how to
braid so we don't have to get myhair done anymore.
When he moved in, he organized my whole closet without me
asking because he remembered me complaining about it and wanted

(59:11):
to take something off my plate. He saw, I've been wanting a
Gustaf Westman mirror for a while and built me.
One with his hands. Took me to Home Depot and let me
pick out the color I wanted for it and everything.
He treats me like a queen. The only rough patch in our
relationship has been over the past couple of months, when our
intimacy decreased but I have faith, things will get better.
Finding those condoms freaked meout but I'm over it now.

(59:34):
It's been resolved. If you can't see the value, he
adds to my life, that's your problem.
I'm happy, I'm not responding toany more comments about it.
I appreciate everyone that was supportive and recognized the
effort I've put into my emotional regulation, I'm going
to take a break from Reddit and enjoy the life I have.
Adoptive parents kicked me out at 17 for getting pregnant and

(59:57):
refusing to keep my baby. 20 years later, their biological
son reached out to me. When I was 17, My adoptive,
parents kicked me out and disowned me because I got
pregnant and refused to give them my baby.
Two decades later, their biological son found me on
Facebook and reached out. I was just four years old when I
lost my parents in a tragic car accident, I don't remember much

(01:00:18):
about the crash itself, just that one moment, I was in the
backseat and the next time I opened my eyes, I was in a
hospital waking up to a world ofnurses and doctors was
terrifying for me as a child. I remember a CPS worker sitting
beside me explaining that my parents had died and I would
need to stay with another familyfor a while.
It was also confusing and overwhelming.
After that, I went through a series of foster homes, none of

(01:00:41):
which ever felt like home. When I was five, I was finally
placed with Lorraine and James who had been eager to have a
child of Their Own. From the start, I felt their
warmth in genuine care. They welcomed me into their home
without hesitation filling the emptiness.
I had felt from losing my own family.
It seemed like after all the tragedy, I had finally found a
second family. However, as soon as I moved in,

(01:01:04):
I noticed that James was very strict and disciplined.
While Lorraine seemed to always follow his lead.
I later learned that James is strictness was due to his
background, as an army veteran, who had been injured in action,
his military experience is explained.
His obsession with meticulous planning and Order
understanding. This didn't make it any easier.
When he would get angry over small things like being a minute

(01:01:24):
late for church. His strictness often left me
feeling anxious and like I had to walk on eggshells around him
Lorain. On the other hand was more laid
back but also drank a lot when James wasn't around, I watched
her finish entire bottles of wine by herself and she always
seemed lost in her thoughts. She rarely asked about my school
or homework and aside. From drinking her main

(01:01:44):
activities, were cooking and cleaning because James was very
particular about that, at first things were smooth and I didn't
witness many conflicts between them, but As I Grew Older, I
began to see James's true nature.
He was abusive For James, my academic performance was
everything. He constantly pressured me to
improve, and if anyone outperformed me, he would get
enraged. Even the slightest dip in my

(01:02:06):
grades would result in him hitting me and calling me
stupid. He frequently threatened to send
me back to the orphanage. If my marks didn't meet his
expectations as a child, I didn't realize this threat was
empty and it terrified me each time he mentioned it.
I worked tirelessly to avoid being sent back.
I also observed Lorraine and James having arguments which
would end with James dragging her into their bedroom.

(01:02:28):
She would emerge with bruises onher hands and face.
At first, I didn't understand what was happening, but it soon
became clear that he was physically abusing her to keep
me from witnessing his violence,he would isolate Lorraine.
I couldn't understand why Lorraine never called the police
after their fights. She would just sit and cry for
hours. While James would drink beer and
watch TV. Realizing James is abusive,

(01:02:49):
Nature Made Me fear being alone with him or doing anything that
might upset him. But as anyone who has lived in
an abusive environment knows, abusers will find any excuse to
lash out, no matter how careful I was or how hard I tried to
avoid provoking him. He always found a reason to be
angry initially, it was all about my grades, but As I Grew
Older, his Focus shifted. It wasn't just about academics

(01:03:11):
anymore. He criticized everything. from
the clothes, I wore to the friends I chose and even any
romantic interests I had He insisted, I come straight home
from school claiming that spending time with friends was a
distraction and that they would amount to nothing according to
him. I needed to keep my focus solely
on my studies, unbeknownst to James Lorraine discreetly
allowed me to spend an hour withmy friends after school knowing

(01:03:34):
that James wouldn't return untillater in the evening.
She saw it as a small chance forme to enjoy some normalcy and
social interaction beyond the tense atmosphere at home.
These brief moments away from the constant pressure and
scrutiny were precious to me. And I value the time, spent with
my friends, even if it was short-lived, Lorraine's quiet
act of kindness meant a great deal to me.
However, things took a turn for the worst when James lost his

(01:03:57):
job. The job loss seemed to heighten
his frustration and anger, worsening.
The already abusive environment at home with the added strain of
financial instability. James became even more
unpredictable and volatile. Lashing out over the smallest
things. I recall one night when Lorraine
had just finished making dinner,as James sat down and glanced at
the meal. He erupted into a furious rant

(01:04:18):
about how it didn't meet his standards.
He began yelling and slamming, the table berating, her and
threatening to throw her out. If she couldn't cook properly in
his rage, he threw his plate against the wall.
Leaving Lorraine and me in a state of fear.
As we watched him, I could feel my whole body trembling when I
finally ate the food. I found nothing wrong with
Lorraine's cooking over time. James is drinking worsened with

(01:04:39):
his unemployment, an idol days. Beer cans accumulated in the
living room, each morning, whichLorraine had to clean up.
I also found myself unable to spend time with my friends as
James would harshly. Criticize me, if I was even a
minute late coming home from school at 15.
A classmate named Harry confessed.
His feelings for me and asked meout on a date.
Despite my anxiety over James finding out.

(01:05:00):
I was eager to experience a dateand explore my feelings as a
teenager. So, despite my worries, I agreed
to go out with Harry. We met at a local coffee, shop
after school and spent the afternoon chatting and getting
to know each other that date turned out to be one of the best
decisions of my life. As it marked, the beginning of
our love story. Harry, was everything?
James was not gentle and kind toeveryone including animals.

(01:05:22):
He would bring me my favorite flowers whenever he could saving
up his pocket money to do. So having never had a good role
model. I didn't expect much, but Harry
treated me with the care and respect, I had always wanted
James was always a bit suspicious and would question me
about whether I was spending time with any boys.
I would deny it silently, hopinghe wouldn't uncover the truth.
Fortunately, not having a phone meant, there were no

(01:05:46):
incriminating texts, he could discover Harry and I took great
care to keep our relationship. Private even avoiding telling
our friends to prevent any gossip Harry understood, my fear
of James and was willing to keepour relationship.
A Secret when prom approached Harry and I decided to attend
with our group of friends to avoid drawing any unwanted
attention. However, when James learned of

(01:06:06):
my plans to go to prom, he outright for beta, he dismissed
it as a waste of time and refused to buy me a dress.
I didn't really care about the dress, I just wanted to enjoy
the evening with my friends, I begged him to.
Let me go reminding him of my good grades and how I had met
his expectations, he scolded me belittling my friendships and
insisting that prom was insignificant, Lorraine

(01:06:27):
disagreed. And argued with James believing,
there was no reason for me to stay home while my peers enjoyed
themselves. James insisted that teenagers
lacked a sense of right and wrong and that he wouldn't allow
me to go out Simply to have fun when I could stay home and be
safe despite my pleas and attempts to explain how
important this event was to me. He remained Resolute dismissing
my feelings, as trivial he even threatened to lock me out of.

(01:06:49):
I tried to sneak out for prom onthe night of the dance.
I was the only one who stayed behind spending the evening
crying alone in my room. I was growing increasingly,
weary of living with James. After High School.
It became even harder to see Harry since I wasn't allowed
out, and didn't have a phone. I asked James for a phone but he
insisted I didn't need one at myage.
I argued that I'd be going to college and that everyone had a

(01:07:11):
phone but he said, I'd have to buy one myself if I wanted it.
That's when I decided to get a part-time job.
Though the pay was modest. It allowed me to earn some money
and gain a bit of Independence. It also meant, I could spend
time with Harry without James, finding out using work as an
excuse while I met up with him eventually, I received the
incredible news that I had been accepted into an ivy league

(01:07:32):
university with a full scholarship.
This was a significant accomplishment as no one from my
town had ever achieved it before.
James took it upon himself to brag about my success to anyone
who would listen proclaiming howproud he was of me despite his
constant boasting, he never actually.
Congratulated me personally in Stead acting as though my
achievement was a reflection of his own success.

(01:07:54):
After receiving my college acceptance, I felt an enormous
sense of relief at last James had nothing to complain about.
As I had fulfilled his greatest Dream by securing a spot.
In a prestigious college with a scholarship with my job in
academic success, he couldn't label me as lazy anymore.
His Newfound satisfaction, let him to agree to buy me a phone
and allowed me to use the money.I earned from work for college

(01:08:16):
expenses. He even permitted me to hang out
with my friends after work for the first time.
I felt like I could enjoy life abit just like everyone else
Harry and I knew we'd be separated when we went to
college. But we promised to meet up
whenever we could our intimacy was careful and limited with
both of us taking precautions. A couple of weeks later I began

(01:08:36):
experiencing unusual symptoms, that resemble those of my
period, but without actually having it being perceptive, I
sense. Something was wrong with my body
and I found myself craving food at odd hours panicking.
I told Harry that I needed to take a pregnancy test and he
agreed, I took three tests, all of which came back positive, the
shock was overwhelming, and I collapsed on the floor, crying

(01:08:58):
uncontrollably. It felt like I was living
through one of my worst nightmares.
Harry tried to comfort me, but Iwas trembling with fear, I knew
that if James discovered, I was pregnant, especially right
before College, he would react with unimaginable anger.
Harry reassured me that the decision was entirely mine and
that he would support me. No matter what.
He suggested talking to his parents first, and then

(01:09:19):
approaching James together to prevent any violent reactions.
Given my difficult home situation.
Harry was genuinely concerned for my safety.
His parents were incredibly understanding.
His mother embraced me, and comforted me saying that such
things happened to many people. Not to worry too much.
They agreed to come to my place to help break the news to James
when Lorraine and James were informed of the pregnancy.

(01:09:42):
They were utterly shocked. Lorraine asked me twice if I was
certain and I confirmed with theresults from multiple tests
James, however, erupted in Anger.
Accusing me of being a product of his reluctance to adopt
children from strangers citing their unpredictable nature.
He hurled a barrage of insults at me, claiming I had ruined my
life Harry's. Parents tried to calm, James

(01:10:03):
down, but he directed his Fury at them, blaming them for the
situation and appearing. Ready to physically confront
Harry, who sat quietly in the corner overcome with emotion, I
started crying and told James that I wasn't planning to keep
the baby so he had nothing to worry about.
I assured him that everything could return to normal and I
would still go to college as planned at that.
Point Lorraine asked to speak with James privately, they left

(01:10:25):
the room. While I sat there, crying and
anxiously fidgeting Harry's. Parents looked at me with
sympathy when Lorraine and Jamesreturned.
Lorraine's words, struck me, like a Title Wave.
She proposed that we didn't necessarily have to give up the
baby suggesting that I could carry the pregnancy to term and
then transfer my parental rightsto them.
I sat there in stunned silence as Lorraine stressed, that the

(01:10:46):
child was a gift from God and urged us, not to consider other
options James supported Lorraine's view suggesting that,
this Arrangement would be ideal,especially since Lorraine was
already pregnant herself. His words left me completely
bewildered and I struggled to grasp what he was proposing.
James revealed that Lorraine hadonly recently discovered her
pregnancy and had kept it. Private while processing the

(01:11:07):
news with my own pregnancy, theynow saw an opportunity to raise
both children together as siblings.
The shock of their suggestion left.
Me speechless grappling with thegravity of their proposal and
the unexpected turn of events Harry's.
Parents were equally stunned andquickly, expressed their
disapproval, however, James interrupted asserting that the
decision was not theirs to make.And looked at me, expectantly

(01:11:28):
waiting for my response, overmeld with anxiety.
I knew deep down that I couldn'tagree to Lorraine and James's
proposal the Idea of giving up my child to be raised in an
environment reminiscent of my own troubled upbringing was
unbearable. Although Lorraine had shown
herself to be a caring mother inmany ways.
I couldn't ignore the fact that she couldn't Shield herself from
James's Behavior. Let alone in my child safety,

(01:11:49):
the thought of subjecting, my unborn child to the same
uncertainty in potential danger was unacceptable.
While I cherish the thought of becoming a mother.
One day, I knew the timing and circumstances were far from
ideal. I couldn't bring a child into
the world. Under these conditions, knowing
I couldn't guarantee their safety and well-being.
I firmly told James that, although, I was glad to be

(01:12:10):
gaining a sibling soon, I couldn't proceed with the
pregnancy. I was neither mentally nor
physically strong enough to handle it.
The idea of watching my child grow up with Lorraine and James
while pretending they were just a sibling, was inconceivable,
living a lie and denying my child.
The truth about their parentage was something I simply couldn't
endure. When I shared my decision,
Lorraine broke down in tears. Expressing her disappointment

(01:12:32):
that, I couldn't do this for her, despite all the sacrifices,
she had made for me James visibly, enraged, got up and
began pacing the room. I tried to explain my stance but
they refused to understand. Harry's mother stepped in
supporting my choice in offeringto arrange an appointment with a
gynecologist to move forward with the procedure Lorraine's
crying intensified and James started shouting asking if I was

(01:12:55):
Satisfied. Now that I was causing her so
much pain, he then demanded thatI packed my things and leave the
house. My shock was palpable as James
declared, he was fed up with me.Accusing me of being ungrateful
and selfish for not giving them.My child Harry's.
Parents, gently urged me to packup quickly clearly troubled by
James's, volatile Behavior. I hurried upstairs to gather my
important documents photo albumsand as many clothes as I could,

(01:13:19):
when I came back downstairs, James warned me to take whatever
I could carry because he plannedto throw out and burn the rest
of my belongings. The next day I tried to speak
with Lorraine but she wouldn't even look at me as I left.
James told me I should never come back.
I was bewildered and heartbrokenunable to understand what I had
done to Warrant such ruthless rejection.
Harry and his parents generouslyoffered me a place to stay and I

(01:13:41):
returned to their home. The following days were a blur
as they took me to the gynecologist where we scheduled
the necessary procedure. It was a difficult decision for
both me and Harry but given the circumstances we knew it was the
best choice for our future. After the procedure, I spent a
few days recovering with Harry By My Side offering unwavering
support, he and his parents wereincredibly kind and did

(01:14:03):
everything they could to help methrough this challenging time
throughout this ordeal, James and Lorraine.
Never reached out to me when theday came for me to move into
college. I texted James, hoping, he might
have forgiven me by then. Instead, he responded with harsh
words, calling me a failure. And a disappointment and
accusing me of turning into a prostitute.
He said he didn't want his biological child to end up like

(01:14:25):
me. His cruel message, cut me,
deeply and I cried for hours. They had been the only parents I
knew. And now with their own children
on the way they had severed tieswith me.
My college years, were challenging, but ultimately
rewarding I juggled a part-time job with my studies working hard
to maintain my grades. It was tough, but I was
determined to succeed. Fortunately Harry, kept his

(01:14:47):
promise and supported me throughout, he would visit me at
College whenever he could and his constant encouragement.
Helped me through the rough patches during holidays.
His parents often invited me to spend time with them and they
began to feel like family to me,I graduated with honors
achieving the distinction of KL and Harry and his parents were
there to celebrate my graduation.
I secured a good job in my fieldand it was a proud moment

(01:15:09):
knowing all my hard work had paid off.
Harry and I eventually moved in together and our relationship
grew stronger with time. We supported each other through
life's ups and downs. And after several years, we
decided to get married. Our wedding was a beautiful
celebration of our love and commitment surrounded by our
closest friends and family. I didn't even consider inviting
James and Lauren to the wedding as a married couple Harry, and I

(01:15:33):
have continued to build our lifetogether.
Recently, we took a significant step by buying a new house and
renting out our old one. Our new home has become a cozy
Haven where we create new memories and plan for the
future. We bought the new place to be
closer to Harry's aging parents,who have become like family to
me as well. I want to be there for them in
any way I can. It's been almost 20 years since

(01:15:54):
James and Lorraine, kicked me out and I barely remember them.
Now over the years I haven't dwelled on them much though.
I do recall spending my first year of college, grieving their
absence by my second year. I resolved to forge a new life
for myself. Free from their Rejection.
It was painful and building thislife on my own took immense
strength. They've never reached out to me

(01:16:15):
and I haven't felt the need to check in on them either.
Throughout these years, Harry has been my steadfast companion
and partner. In every sense, although we
never had. Children are two, beloved dogs,
have brought us immense joy. We visit Harry's parents every
other weekend and frequently enjoy trips and discovering new
restaurants together. Looking back.
I feel that my life has turned out well and I wish I could

(01:16:36):
embrace my 17 year old self and reassure her about her future
recently. I received a friend request on
Facebook from someone named Mattwith a surname that seemed
familiar when I checked his profile, I was taken aback by
how much he resembled James. I accepted his request and he
sent me a greeting, I replied. And he soon asked, if I knew
anyone named James and Lorraine,my heart raced as I realized he

(01:16:58):
was their son nervous yet. Determined, to be honest, I
confirmed that I knew them sincethey had a me.
When I was five, matte expresseda strong desire to talk if I was
comfortable. So, I agreed and gave him my
number when he called the conversation started off.
Awkwardly, but Mattoon shared that he had always known about a
child. His parents had before him
because he had seen my Pictures in the family photo album

(01:17:19):
whenever he asked about it, his parents would Dodge the
question. He had been searching for me for
a long time. Having learned my name from our
hometown, and he had recently stumbled upon my profile by
chance. His sole reason for reaching out
was to uncover the truth, as I recounted the painful events of
my past including how his parents had asked me to give up
my child and then expelled me. When I refused, I could feel the

(01:17:41):
weight of the emotions, I described their absence from my
life, over the years and how I had managed to cope, thanks to
the support of my husband's parents.
The conversation was emotionallycharged and I revealed long,
buried feelings, Matt's voice, conveyed shock, and disbelief,
as he absorbed my account after a period of Silence, he told me,
he had no idea. His parents had treated me so

(01:18:01):
cruelty, he had always believed their story that I had left on
my own accord. He thanked me since sincerely
for my honesty and apologized onbehalf of his parents,
expressing regret for the pain, they had caused me.
Since our conversation, I felt grateful for Matt's effort to
reach out and his understanding,which has brought me some
comfort and validation. However, I worry about how James

(01:18:22):
and Lorraine will react when they learn that.
I've shared the truth with Matt.Did I make the right choice and
revealing everything or would ithave been better to keep silent
update 1, I wanted to share that.
My initial concerns were valid within just 24 hours of Matt.
Reaching out to me, Lorraine andJames began bombarding me with
calls and texts. Since I've kept the same number
all these years, it was relatively easy for them to find

(01:18:44):
me. Their messages have been filled
with anger and accusations, mostly centered around.
Why I disclosed family secrets to Matt James is message in
particular, was harsh insisting.I should have kept quiet as I
had for years and not interferedbetween him and his son,
overwhelmed and unsure of how tohandle the situation.
I've been dodging, their calls and messages uncertain of the

(01:19:04):
best way to address this unexpected confrontation update
2. I informed Harry about the
situation. He was unaware of maths Outreach
and Learning that I had shared our past.
He felt I shouldn't have done. So his concern wasn't about the
truth being wrong, but rather, that James was clearly unstable
and that this Revelation would only stir up unnecessary drama
in our lives. I also spoke with Matt, who told

(01:19:26):
me he confronted James and Lorraine after our discussion.
They attempted to deny everything labeling me as a liar
and accusing me of using them until I could escape to college.
Despite their claims, Matt didn't believe them.
And told them to stay away from his family.
He also informed them, he would be cutting them off financially.
Matt revealed that he and his wife had recently adopted twins,
but James and Lorraine had refused to visit them which had

(01:19:49):
made Matt question their behavior after learning about my
past, Matt, understood why they might have been on happy with
his adoption. He assured me, he would ask them
to leave us alone and extended an invitation for me to visit
his twins, whenever I could. He expressed a desire to get to
know me better, give our siblingconnection, I'm touched by his
kindness and might take him up on his offer, to visit his
family with Harry. Update 3, it's been seven months

(01:20:13):
since my last update. And for those asking, here's
what's new. I decided to block James and
Lorraine from all communication channels, which has stopped
their threatening messages, Mattintervened and spoke to them, so
they had no choice. But to back off Harry and I have
visited, Matt. And his wife at least four times
over the past few months, each visit has been warm and
welcoming. And we've spent hours

(01:20:34):
reconnecting sharing stories andbonding over our childhoods.
I've also had the joy of spending time with Matt's twins
who are delightful. I'm deeply grateful that Matt
reached out and the connection with him and his family has been
a source of healing and joy for me.
My best friend claims I owe her everything I have including my
boyfriend. She thinks I wouldn't be

(01:20:55):
successful without her. Is she right?
I know I should be careful calling someone best friend in a
post like this, but I don't knowhow else to call, Jesse.
Our parents are great friends, so we grew up together and she
kind of had my back in high school.
Long story short on the teenagerfood chain, she was on top and I
should be on the bottom, but nobody messed with me because I
was Jesse's friend. Jesse is one of those people who

(01:21:17):
require attention. I never minded though.
Nobody is perfect, right? But now, that I have my first
real boyfriend. She doesn't know how to behave.
Every time we are together. She is really handsy.
Always touching his arms runningfingers through his hair
complimenting him and now she even started with the prank
spankings on the butt, you know,I just feel really uncomfortable

(01:21:37):
with it. Maybe it's normal.
I mean Jesse has a lot of guys friends so maybe this is.
Okay, my best friend never thought, much of it either am I
just overreacting? She is super pretty.
So, maybe I'm just jealous anyway, yesterday.
Something really threw me off. Best friend had to do some work.
And I had a book thing hobby, sowe decided to meet later at a

(01:21:58):
friend's house. They were getting together to
drink and so on best friend finishes work, early and calls
me, but I don't really need him to come over to the book thing.
I know he doesn't like it, so I just tell him to go to friends
house. Then I start getting texts from
Jessie all like girl, you got tocome to this party.
Now, your best friend is wasted.LOL, LOL.
We so drunk. You need to come and stop us.

(01:22:18):
I can't behave myself if you don't get here soon and so on
the book thing took longer than I thought and I was just getting
mad and matter but I'm a very non-confrontational person.
So I deal with it. I call best friend when it's
over cuz I don't feel like goingto this party anymore, but I was
his ride so I asked him if needsme to come pick him up.
He says sure I get there and don't even go inside.

(01:22:40):
I am ready to release the houndsof Hell on him, but he gets in
my car and he is Stone Cold Sober.
I asked him if he was drinking. And then show him Jesse's texts
he gets super upset and says shewas lying.
He wasn't even hanging directly with her but catching up with a
friend who just came back to town.
He says, I should have texted him letting him know what she
was saying, so he could confronther about it since you don't

(01:23:01):
ever seem to be able to give that girl, some boundaries.
His words. Now, I am thinking maybe I
should talk to Jesse, but maybe she was just drunk and annoying
me because she wanted me there. I don't know.
I mean, this girl was really nice to me growing up when she
could have been a bitch. I don't like how she behaves
around him, but at the same time, I don't want it to look
like, I don't trust her. Is there a polite way of going

(01:23:22):
about it? Or I should maybe wait and see
if this happens again. Am I overreacting too long,
didn't read old. Friends are handsy with my
boyfriend and it upsets me, but I don't know if I should tell
her or how update thanks to everyone for your comments and
help. I decided to talk to Jesse and
posted a story update. One yesterday I posted here

(01:23:42):
about how my best friend, Jesse is a bit handsy with my
boyfriend and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Too long, didn't read as she touches him a lot and sent me
inappropriate messages when she was at a party with him, I am
very thankful to all those who commented especially the ones
who encouraged me to say something and what I don't like
arguments. So, those were very important to
me. Thank you, last night.

(01:24:03):
We were alone because she wantedme to help her choose clothes
for an event. I was at her place so I thought
I should say something. I wanted to say something, I was
very polite in just said that I knew she meant no harm but I
didn't feel good about it so I asked her if she could tone it
down. I should have said, stop, but I
guess I'm weak. She didn't really say anything
mean, but her attitude was a bitoff.

(01:24:24):
I think she was looking at me ina scornful, kind of way.
And the way she smiled, once I was done talking, it just fell
weird. She didn't say anything else.
But okay, and we just moved on to choosing her clothes and I
left after we were supposed to go get something to eat, but she
said she was tired. I am not dumb, she was hurt.
So I texted a comment friend more, her friend than mine and

(01:24:46):
without getting into details. I just told him that I talked to
Jess about something that was important to me, but that I was
afraid, she may have gotten the wrong idea from it.
The common friend said look, I don't want to get involved but
you should watch it. I asked what he meant, he said
nothing, just watch it a little while after that he texted me
back and says, changed my mind. I do want to get involved, and

(01:25:07):
sends me a bunch of prints of text going back and forth
between him and Jesse, it basically starts with him asking
her. If the two of us had a fight
because I was worried, he was kind with his words, I don't
mind him stepping in and then just a Non-Stop stream of her
being horrible. She says, I had a big mouth and
was judging her behavior becauseI'm a prude who doesn't know how
to be around guys. How she taught me.

(01:25:27):
Everything I know about having alife and how dare.
I tell her what she can or cannot do or how I should thank
her for even having a boyfriend at all.
Common friend, actually called her out for being rude and no
friend of mine after the prince,he told me.
I'm done with her. I give up and you should watch
it. He also said it was okay.
If I told her I had the prints, I didn't know, I didn't know
what to say. I mean she is not 100% wrong but

(01:25:51):
even though I know that it really hurts to read those this
morning, I woke up and saw she texted me late at night.
She says, she knows Pete, sent me the prince, and she didn't
mean to be rude, but it's ridiculous that I'm jealous of
her, because if she wanted my best friend, she could just have
him. You want me to prove it?
So I'm being silly and should drop.
It is what she meant. She ends it with kisses in a

(01:26:12):
joke. So, I don't know if she was
being playful, apologizing, threatening, or being pragmatic.
I didn't answer her yet. I don't know what to say.
Should I even say something or should I just let it go?
I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I am very
private. I usually go to Jesse with these
things. Help too.
Long didn't read asked an old friend to stop being so handsy.

(01:26:34):
With my boyfriend, she took the wrong way until the common
friend. I got no business telling her
what to do since I over so much notable comments.
Commenter sounds like this person is completely wrapped up
in their own head and has a serious case of overthinking
their importance in life, especially other people's lives.
Obviously, were all going to tell you to drop her because she
is not a desireable person to bearound if that's how she acts /

(01:26:55):
talks to you in person and behind your back.
This person thinks they own you enough so that their decided to
let you have your best friend. Fuck that shit also show your
guy. Everything that's happened
because guaranteed she's going to go after him o p.
I suppose you're all right, it just gets me, you know?
It's a 20 year long friendship. I keep thinking.
Maybe this is a misunderstanding.

(01:27:15):
She didn't mean it or she is going through a hard time and
doesn't know how to deal with it.
I am just trying to make sure I'm not overreacting so I needed
some outside perspective as for my best friend, I think he would
turn her down quite fast. He doesn't really like her, he
just hangs with her because of me.
He's always saying that he'd rather not at all.
So, it's unlikely that they'd bealone together.

(01:27:37):
But I will talk to him. Thank you for the heads up,
turns out, she already went after him.
I was stupid update to my boyfriend is having sex with
her, a friend convinced. Some other friends to send me,
Prince of text between themselves and either my best
friend or best friend. They're pretty clear.
I confronted my best friend, he looked lost said he loves me and

(01:27:57):
it was just sex. He says Jesse kept throwing
herself at him teasing him and he said he didn't like her but I
still wanted to hang out. He said he just had sex with her
to see if she would move on and leave him alone and that it only
happened a couple of times. Says he won't do it anymore.
He doesn't even like her. He loves me asking me to, please
forgive him from the text. Once I finally made it through

(01:28:18):
them all. I think that Jesse went to the
party where me and my best friend met because she wanted to
hook up with him. She had it bad for him but he
didn't feel the same way. She was trying to get him to
break up with me and then to getme to break up with him.
It worked As of yesterday, he isa single man.
In some of those texts. They are talking about some of
the hookups. I feel like throwing up.

(01:28:40):
I blocked him because he was still trying to get in touch.
I ghosted her, but she just sentme a message saying, she just
heard what happened. And, you know, this was probably
for the best, right? And I feel like fucking
screaming. I don't know if this is an
update or just me venting. Thanks for listening either way.
Edit, I don't want to sound melodramatic or sappy or

(01:29:00):
anything, but you all brought meto tears.
We keep hearing about how it is insanity to rely on the internet
for personal connections. But I just lost a boy friend, a
best friend, and a whole group of friends.
And instead of feeling alone, I am more and more feeling like
fuck. Yeah, that was the right thing
to do. I will be okay, it still hurts,
but not as much as it would have.
I really been alone. I can't even begin to.

(01:29:22):
Thank this up. I really don't know what to say.
Even on my previous post, that didn't get as many responses.
It was some of the comments there that made me approach.
The cheating thing knowing I hadto break up and move on.
So it changed my life at that moment and considering I will be
doing a lot of soul searching ontoxic relationships.
This probably changed my life for good.
So thank you all so much for reaching out to a stranger.

(01:29:44):
This community is so precious and I got a gold.
I don't even know what to say. Thank you so much.
I don't mean to sound ungratefulbut I don't even know how much
gold costs and this is an ALT account so it won't really be
used. Is there any way I can return it
to the sender? Some of your asking for an
update? I might in a while, if there is
something new to tell right now it's just more of the same.

(01:30:07):
I don't think I will be able to answer all the comments but I am
trying to, at least answer the ones with questions.
Thank you. Notable comments commenter one.
Well yeah I would just ditch that whole friend group and
start trying to find new friends.
My God, that's some fucked up. Shit Opie.
Yep, done. And done.
I think I'm being too. Permissive, with the word
friend. It was going on for months.

(01:30:29):
Everyone knew nobody had the decency to tell me.
It was only the one friend who wasn't even that close.
Who stood up for me commenter too, you also can't make her
hurt. She has no respect for you and
clearly doesn't care. So it will be impossible.
Anyways, it would have the same effect as a drunk.
Stranger telling you that you'reawful.
It might make you angry, but youdidn't care about that

(01:30:50):
strangers. So what they say is, irrelevant
all. So I can't imagine anything.
So utterly not worth your time. The delightful side effect of
just ghosting is that they will stew in it.
They want the reaction, but theyget none.
They realize they lost all theirpower and never get to know and
feel that satisfaction that comes from getting the reaction.
You want it. Op.
Oh, I get what you mean. She is still texting me.

(01:31:12):
I didn't mention one detail because it wasn't important.
We were all traveling together soon, my family paid for some of
Jesse's expenses. She is messaging me about the
vouchers since I have them all this fucking woman.
Can't even wait a day to ask. It's like she suddenly
remembered, she still needs me. I mean, I am not giving them to
her either way. Trip is off.

(01:31:32):
Can't she tell? She has no respect for you, and
clearly doesn't care. Absolute truth commenter 3.
She would be more hurt by no response at all to anything.
Ever op, go no contact Opie. I'm very much thinking the
silence treatment will be the way to go.
I think she just realized she needs me for the trip.
She has been aggressively tryingto contact me now.

(01:31:55):
She is saying that she liked my best friend first, and I was the
one who stole him. So, she is the one who should be
mad. I know, I should just block her
everywhere, but is it Petty thatI'm having fun?
Watching her squirm. I wanted to have the last word
but not saying anything is driving her crazy commenter for.
He said, he just had sex with her to see if she would move on
and leave him alone. And that it only happened a

(01:32:16):
couple of times says he won't doit anymore.
He doesn't even like her. He loves me asking me to please
forgive him. Hello Elwood seriously.
That is one of the stupidest things.
I have heard it is like saying, hey babe.
I jumped off a cliff because somebody was really pestering me
to do it. Edit I feel for you op but what
an excuse Opie. I confess I almost fell for it.

(01:32:39):
How pathetic is that? He was saying he cared about me.
It was just a mistake. He thought she would back off
and I felt it was a bad decisionon his part but maybe it made
sense and I could forgive him then he said something like and
I didn't even like her. You were the one who always
wanted us to hang. That's when my brain joined the
party and I was like, is he seriously trying to blame this

(01:33:00):
shit on me. More comments made by op.
Most disgusting part is that it is a trip.
We would take together with my best friend and some other
friends. So she really thinks I would let
my family pay for her to go on vacation with my ex who she
cheated on me with. I'm starting to think this woman
is sick like for real. I just went straight to venting,
didn't I sorry. Well it was all Pete.

(01:33:22):
Really after she texted, she could get my best friend if she
wanted to. I just answered back BTF Jesse
and she low old as if it was a joke after that.
Pete texted me, asked me if I was alone, he was really kind.
And told me everything said he had proof and asked if I wanted
to see it. I said, yes, he had gone after
our friends and convinced them to send him Prince.

(01:33:44):
He's really well liked by everyone and he was the one who
said enough Pete is gay BTW. Just in case, anyone jumps the
gun like my mom did and think hedid this because he is
interested in me or something. He's not.
He's just a decent person. Know, I didn't get Prince
between best friend and Jesse I guess.
I went straight to venting and didn't give much details wasn't

(01:34:05):
expecting this response. There was this friend Pete, who
convinced three other friends tosend him text between them,
three friends, and either Jesse or best friend.
So he could have Proof because he thought what was happening
was disrespectful and someone should tell me, they were Prince
of texts between two friends andJesse and one other friend and
best friend. They were pretty clear, Jesse

(01:34:25):
especially didn't seem to care about hiding it.
At all best friend texts were mostly wondering if I had
noticed something and wanting Jesse to back off while saying
she was hot Etc. There was nothing 100%
confirmation on his side. It wasn't a talk between him and
one of his closest friends. So it was kind of generic.
But when I confronted him, I said I had prints without saying

(01:34:47):
what they showed and he just confessed.
I really appreciate the prince. It was Ultimate evidence but I
don't think they did it for me. It's a Pete thing.
You'd have to know him to understand.
He's the stand-up guy who is everyone's friend.
He is a huge person. I think they sent the prince
because it was something for him.
You know, he was the one leadingthe charge and dealing with

(01:35:08):
consequences. If it were just me, I don't
think they would have done it. Update 3.
I said I'd come back. If anything relevant happened,
he expects best friend. Kept trying to get in touch
through common friends. They kept asking me to unblock
him and at least hear him out cuz he was really sorry.
He loved me. He was a mess.
He didn't mean to someone even when, as far as to ask me, if I

(01:35:29):
was really sure it happened, they offered to send me Prince
of Tex where he was talking about me.
So I see how he always had greatthings to say and how much he
cared. But I've had it with the print
screen drama for life and said, no, to the ones who insisted.
I told them I wasn't unblocking him had nothing to say or here,
and if they kept pushing me, I blocked them too.
I ran into my ex-best friend at this book.

(01:35:50):
Thing I go to often hobby of mine.
Maybe I'm being presumptuous butI think he went there for me.
He didn't really have any business there but I'm just
speculating. Really?
He asked if I had a few minutes for coffee?
I said I was late. He walked me to my car he looks
so good smelled great, he was sosweet was even wearing his hair
the way I like it. I feel horrible because even

(01:36:13):
after everything, I still like him, he apologized some.
More said, he knew, I needed time and space but asked if I'd
consider giving him another chance because he would wait for
me. Said he would never talk to
Jesse again and would act like they had restraining orders
against each other and I just found it really funny how
everything he was saying required.
Me trusting him, which I don't. So I told him I wasn't

(01:36:35):
interested anymore and he shouldmove on.
I wish I said something snappieror Whittier, but I had nothing,
this was Saturday. I haven't heard from him or
friends since I think that was that Jesse also kept trying to
talk to me, like I told some of you in the comments, I had a
trip coming up, it would have been me.
Jesse E ex best friend and a fewfriends.

(01:36:56):
Since Jesse couldn't afford it, my parents paid for most of her
expenses. She must have remembered this
right after everything went downand panicked because I had
everything vouchers confirmationemails credit card info.
She went crazy even showed up atmy place.
I wasn't home in my roommate told her to fuck off.
Exact words, I didn't block her at first because I admit, I was

(01:37:17):
having some fun watching her to spare.
I talked to my mom and she was amazing.
Told me. I should cancel everything even
if it cost us money, it was fine. so, I did and for one last
bit of print screen drama, I printed all the emails, I got
confirming cancellations and sent those to Jesse with the
word by before blocking her. My roommate has been amazing.

(01:37:37):
We were never really close and now I don't even know why she
can't cancel plans with her friends to stay with me and
invited me to go out with them next weekend.
A few of you suggested I see a therapist.
And I did yesterday. I really liked it.
It was just one appointment and I mostly just talked but it felt
good. She gave me homework.
She talked a little about unhealthy and abusive

(01:37:59):
relationships and asked me to think about my friendship with
Jesse and try to point out what was healthy.
And what was unhealthy about it made me realize she was never
really my friend. She was taking advantage of me
for years and she even had me thanking her for it.
Therapist also told me about this saying, I think that's what
it is called. The Narcissist prayer, which
goes something like that. Didn't happen if it did, it

(01:38:20):
wasn't my fault. If it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, then you deserved it which is totally how Jesse is
handling this whole thing now. So good, riddance indeed.
And a final piece of Gossip. Pete.
Talked to me yesterday he checksup sometimes he's a good guy
again, he is gay. In case someone is still
thinking, this might turn into aromantic comedy.

(01:38:42):
He said, Jesse was super sure that since I broke things off
she and Dean would hook up rightaway, but apparently, he doesn't
have the same plans and that freaked her out over the
weekend. Pete says, he really is a mess
and went out drinking hard for knights in a road to the pointy
had to be carried home by his Pals.
And yesterday, they all went outfor lunch at this burger place.
Jesse was going to run her fingers through his hair or

(01:39:03):
something, and he just pushed her away and told her to stop
and to never touch him again. Great that.
Now he manages to do that, huh? I guess in the end he really did
like me and his sick way. The thing is I don't want to be
with someone who likes me in a sick way.
I want to be with someone who likes me in a healthy way.
I think I deserve that I am alsothinking about taking the money.
I got back from the trip to go somewhere else by myself, having

(01:39:26):
decided yet. Anyway, this will be the final
update on this since it is unlikely that I will have
anything new to add. Now, I think I just need time to
heal and let go you know, I might come back in a few months
if there is reason to do a yay, life is awesome now post, but I
wanted to post this update now because I wanted to end this
whole story on a bright note. And of course, thank you all

(01:39:46):
again. You are the best too long didn't
read. It's all good as well as could
be. Anyway.
Thanks Reddit. My parents are making me give up
my baby for adoption. I'm heartbroken and unsure of
what to do next. They've left me with no choice.
Plus new update. I'm 16 years old.
I got pregnant by somebody. I work with he's 18 and is about

(01:40:07):
to graduate high school. He's planning to join the
military after he graduates. He's not my boyfriend.
We were never in a relationship like that.
I mean, I wish he was, but he doesn't seem interested in that
we're friends. He flirts with me.
I lost my virginity to him. He didn't force me or anything
like that. I've had sex with him, multiple
times. I'm 15 weeks pregnant.

(01:40:29):
Now everyone knows. well, not everyone because I'm still
hiding it from a lot of people, but he knows and my parents
know, I'm embarrassed by it. I feel like an idiot.
Like a joke, like trash. I just wish I could hide until
after the baby's born. I want to never leave my house.
My parents are forcing me to give the baby up for adoption.

(01:40:51):
I live in a state with heavy abortion restrictions.
It's way too late to even get one now.
My parents don't believe in abortion either.
They told me this is my punishment for getting pregnant
that I deserve to have to deal with being pregnant.
Now they've decided that I'm giving the baby away and have
already set up a meeting with anadoption agency.
They say, they won't let me ruinmy life with a baby and they

(01:41:12):
aren't going to raise my baby either.
So this is the only other option.
My mom keeps saying you'll thankus later.
I didn't get pregnant on purpose.
I don't really want to be a mom,right now.
I turn 17 over the summer and will only be starting my junior
year next year. At the same time, going through
pregnancy and giving birth just to give my baby away.
Terrifies me I don't know if I can live with it.

(01:41:35):
It literally makes me feel like I want to throw up or pass out.
I feel like I have no choice, but to go along with what my
parents want. It's not like I could support
myself, let alone. Me and a baby.
I could never just do it on my own.
I was too scared to get an abortion or early on.
Before I told my parents I was pregnant.
I was so scared that I get in trouble, but now I realize that
probably would have been the easiest thing for me.

(01:41:56):
If anyone reading this is given a baby up for adoption and
survived it. Please let me know what it was
like. Do you get over it?
Do you really end up feeling like it's the best thing for
them and you're able to just live with it relevant comments.
Op on her parents and raising a baby by herself.
I know. And I'm not suggesting that I
raise a baby by myself. I know it's not really possible.
I would need a lot of help whichis also not possible for me,

(01:42:18):
given how my parents feel about it.
So, at the end of the day, sure it's my choice, but I'm sort of
cornered into only being able tomake one choice op on the father
and if he knew she's pregnant, he knows I'm pregnant and he
knows my parents are essentiallyforcing adoption.
I think he's relieved that they've decided this and are
going to force me into it. I think he feels bad, but at the

(01:42:39):
same time, he doesn't want to bea parent.
So he says stuff like. Yeah.
That's probably the best thing. Op, on if her parents are
choosing to take a legal route against the father, I'm in the
US. He just turned 18 in April.
They don't really want to involve him.
I thought they'd confront him inperson demand to speak to his
parents and stuff like that. They didn't react like that at
all. I mean, they're mad at him and

(01:43:01):
they blame him for this too but they want to keep him removed
from it all probably, so nobody will interfere with what they've
decided. The plan is IDK.
Update on 20 weeks pregnant now and will turn 17 within the next
few weeks. My parents are still forcing me
to give my baby up for adoption.We've met with an adoption
agency. The adoption counselor knows
that I don't want to do adoption.

(01:43:22):
She asked to speak with me privately without my parents
present to ask me a series of questions.
I was honest and told her I didn't want to give my baby away
but I had no other choice. She seems to feel bad about it.
And told me that I will ultimately have to sign the
papers after the baby is born. My parents cannot sign the
papers, unfortunately, without my parents helped, I have no
other options. The adoption counselor talked to

(01:43:44):
us about the option of my parents adopting my baby which I
don't really want. Either.
No worries, my parents aren't interested in raising another
baby. My parents want me to look at
the potential families. I'm trying to look at them.
It's so weird thinking that I'm looking at parents for my own
baby. I know I'm not ready to be a mom
but it's still so weird. None of this.
Feels like it's happening to me.I've talked to the baby's

(01:44:07):
father. He graduated high school and
goes off to basic training laterthis summer.
I think he'd be fine with adoption.
He said he doesn't really know what other options we have.
We could get married since the military would at least help pay
for a place to live and we'd have medical benefits, but I
can't get married without parental consent.
We don't love each other. What kind of marriage would that
be? But it seems like the only

(01:44:28):
realistic solution. I hate the idea of being married
at 17 years old and, to a personwho doesn't genuinely want to be
married to me. So then another option which
still involves marriage might befor his parents to help out.
Even take care of the baby and let me see him or her.
Until I'm 18. And don't need my parents
permission to get married. That doesn't really seem fair to
them. He could try to object to an

(01:44:49):
adoption but it's not guaranteedthat his wishes would be
respected. Plus then, what happens to the
baby? His parents seem like good
people, I don't know them well, but I've met them, they're
worried about what this will do to his future, but they told my
parents, they believe it should be our decision and that, it's
their job as parents to help us.My parents basically said it's

(01:45:09):
their job to protect me and thatall of the responsibility will
fall on me and it will be my life.
That's ruined. Our families met to discuss
everything but it was really just parents telling them what
was going to happen and that they and their son had no say
relevant comments. Opie on the ideal adoption
situation, she would like to seehappening to the child.
I don't have an ideal adoption situation right now because I

(01:45:30):
still can't accept adoption, butprobably two gay guys.
It's the women in these couples.I look at that seem more fake
than the men for the most part again.
I know this sounds terrible to say something about a lot of the
women is just really rubbing me the wrong way.
Maybe two lesbians because the few lesbian couples I've seen at
least seem more genuine than thestraight women.

(01:45:51):
Well, in some cases, the gay couples could have their own
biological children, even if thechildren didn't share both
parents DNA, but I'm just more drawn to those couples than the
profiles. I've seen just seem more
genuine, but yes, it feels like nobody is good enough for my
baby. I acknowledge that it might not
seem rational. If you've never been in the
position of having to look at families, all complete strangers

(01:46:14):
to give your baby to you, probably can't fully understand,
I'm allowed to be picky. This could be the biggest most
important decision in my entire life and this is the only part
of the whole adoption thing. I actually have much of a say
in. I'm only 20 weeks pregnant, not
30. There's no rule stating.
I have to have a family picked out yet.
Some people take longer picking out a new car to buy.

(01:46:36):
It's not as if adoption was a choice.
I came to on my own and even feel positive about so yeah
looking at potential adoptive families is going to give me
some feelings as I stated, it's not a matter of thinking I can
or cannot provide a better life.It's a totally bizarre.
And heartbreaking thing to do toread through the profiles of
families to give your baby to. And there are a ton of families

(01:46:56):
update having a boy. I don't know why I'm suddenly
getting a ton of responses on mypost from a week ago.
But I figured I'd post an updatebecause a few things have
changed. I had an ultrasound on Friday
and found out, I'm having a babyboy.
He's basically fully formed and just needs to get bigger now.
I saw his head and his nose and they even got a picture of the
bottom of his two feet together because he was sort of sideways

(01:47:18):
at first. And we had to get him to move.
It looks sort of like Footprints.
I could clearly see his little hands and everything so I
already said it in my previous post but people are still
sending my info about abortion. I know those people are trying
to help and I wish I had maybe reached out here.
When I first found out, I was pregnant.
Since I didn't know, I could getpills male to my house.
I just can't get an abortion. Now, it's a fully formed baby.

(01:47:40):
I even named him. It won't solve my problem at
this point because my biggest problem with adoption is how I'm
going to live with it, mentally for the rest of my life.
Now that I know it's a baby moving around in there and
stuff, I think I would also not mentally be able to handle an
abortion. Now, if it was still just a lump
of cells, I feel different, but I was too scared to do anything
that After the ultrasound, I sent the baby's father the pics

(01:48:02):
he wasn't there. My parents don't want him or his
family involved now, probably because I told them he offered
to marry me and they yelled at me for even considering that I
told him I can't give the baby away and asked if his parents
were really serious about helping and if he'd hate me for
keeping it, he said he won't hate me.
I still think he'll blame me forruining his life.
He already told me, he thinks adoption is the best choice if

(01:48:24):
we got married and he got caughtcheating on me.
Even if I was okay with it, he could get in a lot of trouble.
He said, why would I cheat on you?
He said he likes me. He wouldn't have sex with me.
If he didn't like me, he just didn't see the point in us being
in a relationship since he was leaving anyway, it was just
easier that way. The thing is I know I'm not the
only girl he's been with during that time I'm not stupid enough

(01:48:47):
to think I'm special to him or he loves me and we both know
it's sort of ridiculous to imagine us being married or
acting like adults but I guess that's what you have to do.
If you have a baby I can't really imagine being a wife but
maybe it wouldn't be too bad andI get to move away from my
parents. He said, it's really weird to
think about but I have very few options and he doesn't know what
else he supposed to offer. But he's going to talk to his

(01:49:08):
parents since I'm too shy. To I guess I'm assuming they
were just saying it to be nice, but are probably happy.
My parents are making me do the adoption.
He says, his parents aren't likethat.
I'm really just an inconvenienceto everyone, and if I keep my
baby, he might end up not likingme too.
I don't want to screw up my baby's life.
I would do everything I could tobe a good mom.

(01:49:28):
I would grow up and learn how tobe a wife and mom and an adult.
I can't imagine living after giving my baby to somebody else.
Also, if you're looking to adopta baby, please, do not message
me here. Many people already have and I
just delete those messages, it'screepy.
If I do put my son up for adoption, it will not be to
somebody. I met through Reddit.

(01:49:49):
I'm sorry. It's just very creepy to be
messaged, by adults here who want to adopt my baby.
There was a comment full of hardtruths left on this update.
I feel horrible for you. You're in a terrible position
but your current plan does not make sense and is not healthy
for the baby. You want to marry the father who
really doesn't want to be a father because you'll have
access to military housing and benefits being a military spouse

(01:50:10):
is incredibly difficult, you will have to go where he goes,
which means you will not really have support from his parents
because they will not pack up and follow you every time he is
relocated So no real support from your family or his, it will
be difficult for you to build your own career, because your
jobs will have to be accessible to where he is based out of he
will resent you for pushing for this marriage that you admit is

(01:50:32):
Loveless and would be out of convenience.
So your plan right now, means your baby will grow up with a
dad who doesn't want him a strained and or distant
relationship with grandparents parents with an unhealthy
relationship and financial hardship, and you will be unable
to leave when things inevitably implode in your marriage because
you will not be financially independent.
And you will not have any support from your family, my

(01:50:53):
heart breaks for you because youclearly love the little boy
already, but it's a really, really bad idea for everyone
involved at this point, it's oneof those things where love means
doing what's best for him. And what's best for him is being
in a stable environment edited to add because I keep seeing you
say, you aren't sure how it works in the military.
I wanted to throw out there thatI do, and that I'm not saying

(01:51:13):
all this, because I'm just guessing, my dad was in the
Army. My long-term ex was in the Army.
My best friend is married to a marine.
My other best friend is married to a man in the Army and my
cousin is in the Air Force. Being a military spouse is
difficult, no matter what branchyou are talking about.
And no matter how promising the benefits sound.
Most people in healthy, loving long-term relationships,

(01:51:35):
struggle with the hurdles. That come in military
relationships. Two, very young people who don't
love each other with a baby and financial hardship.
I don't see that working. My parents are forcing me to
give my baby up for adoption. I'm getting married and moving
in with strangers. I'm 24 weeks pregnant.
Now, I just turned 17. My parents have been trying to
force me to give my baby boy up for adoption.

(01:51:57):
I've made several posts about it.
I don't want to do it. We've met with the adoption
agency and looked at families. I don't think I can survive, if
I do it. I can't imagine my baby being
out there or forever being a nuisance to an adoptive family.
They said, if I keep the baby, I'll be doing it all on my own.
They aren't going to help me in any way.
The babies father's family is willing to help me though.

(01:52:19):
The baby's father isn't my boyfriend.
I know that probably sounds bad.We were never officially in a
relationship. Just friends really but his
parents have been a lot nicer throughout this whole thing.
I don't know them well but I'm getting to know them better.
Now I'm going to have to since they are willing to help me car
us. They aren't really happy that
I'm pregnant but they believe itshould have been my decision

(01:52:40):
about what to do about the pregnancy and eventual baby and
that his parents, it's their jobto help and support that
decision. He's joining the military.
His dad is retired military. Brother is military.
It is what he's always wanted todo.
He just started basic training. So the plan is that we're going
to get married when his family and I go out there for his
graduation, unless he changes his mind between now.

(01:53:02):
And then, which he might, I knowhe might, he hasn't said that,
but I'm just scared. He will.
There wasn't time to do it before he left.
Anyway, his tech school is over a year long.
So the baby and I could move outthere with him, if need be, or I
can stay with his family here until he goes to his permanent
Duty station, that would allow me to graduate high school
instead of getting a general educational development or at

(01:53:24):
least finish the next year of high school.
Normally, I need notarized approval to take the general
educational development at 17 and my parents refused, but
they've agreed to sign paperworkto allow me to get married.
I don't understand them. I don't understand how they'd
rather allow me to get married and go live with another family.
Instead of just allowing me and my baby to live at home until I
finish school and turned 18. It makes no sense.

(01:53:46):
I'm not even a parent yet. And I wouldn't let my 17 year
old get married. If it was between my 17 year,
old getting married and moving across the country or supporting
her decision to keep her baby and assisting her with finding
resources to enable her to parent.
I know which option, I choose asthe parent and it wouldn't be
marriage. It hurts, so bad.
They've essentially said, if he's going to marry me, and his

(01:54:07):
family is going to help us. Then I'm not their problem now.
So they'll sign off on that. They yelled at me, called me
names and locked me in my room. I could go back to being the
daughter. They love if I would just go
along with their plan, but thesethings will never be the same
between us again. His parents were the ones who
convinced them to approve of themarriage.
They met with my parents. Actually, we all met together.

(01:54:29):
They've been the only ones advocating for me at all.
They want me to finish school, they're going to help me arrange
childcare, and I'm going to movein with them before.
The baby is born. I will take my newborn baby home
to their house. I don't even know these people,
it's strange and uncomfortable for me but I'm at the point
where I can't be picky about what help is offered.
Luckily, the baby will be covered by his dad's insurance

(01:54:50):
no matter What? And I will be covered by
Insurance once were married. I'm not planning to depend on
Military benefits to address allour needs.
It's just one piece of the puzzle after I graduate.
I plan to get certified for something that has good career,
prospects and pays. Well, I'm going to be smart
about what field I select, and Iwill use any opportunity to find
grants or scholarships to help pay My parents want me to go

(01:55:13):
straight to a traditional four-year College.
I'm an honors classes. Now, I get really good grades, I
scored very high on the PSAT. I should go to college, but I'm
not really interested in any of the career fields that make
College worth it financially in my eyes.
Unless I got a huge scholarship I'd be paying mostly with
student loans. So I'm looking into other
avenues where I can enter my chosen career field, much sooner

(01:55:36):
and start making good money quicker without incurring.
So much debt. I'm really scared about
everything. I've never had to do any adult
things. I've blown up my whole life by
getting pregnant and not going along with my parents plan, I
don't even feel like I have parents.
Now, I never thought my family would end up this way.
I sort of just want to go along with their plan because in many

(01:55:56):
ways, it would be a lot easier. I could go back to my life and
still be accepted by my parents and have their love and support
again, but my life will never bethe same.
I think I'd regret taking the easy way out.
I don't think adoption would be easy for me at all, but as far
as day-to-day life struggles, ithad probably help easier.
I think I'd grow up and hate myself for doing it and I never

(01:56:17):
be able to undo it. What I'm doing now is the only
option that I don't think. I'll spend my whole life
regretting at least. It won't make me feel like a
coward. I still feel sick to my stomach
when I think about everything that's happening that I'm going
to live with virtual strangers that I'm going to get married
that I will eventually move across the country and be a mom
and a wife before, I can even legally drink alcohol, although

(01:56:38):
moving across the country, doesn't sound too bad right now.
I just don't know what I'm doing.
I think I'm probably taking on too much but it still makes me
happier than when I thought I'd have no choice but to sign
adoption. Papers relevant comments, maroon
sweater, 1.23 setting aside the fact that this nightmare
situation should not exist and ashotgun Contract.
Marriage is probably not a greatsolution.

(01:56:59):
Op won't just have access to Health Care and housing,
spouse's have access to some education benefits too or they
did in 2014. Got a mold.
Geez honestly hoping this is a military recruiter troll or a
pro-abortion troll because this poor fucking kid.
Swim sweater. She'll have access to some
education benefits right away, but there are people who prey on

(01:57:21):
those and scam you out of them for utterly useless
certificates. My heart breaks for her because
she and her baby daddy are goingto be miserable.
I don't think she realizes how tough it's going to be
financially on top of emotionally.
I really hope his family. Helps her sign up for whatever
Aid, they'll qualify for like women, infants and children.
And use the Army emergency relief car seat program to get

(01:57:41):
one for free. Creepy, snow 8166.
Unfortunately, there's no optimal solution for op, even if
she decided to abort, it's too late for her now, I imagine it
would be very difficult to go through pregnancy and birth,
then give your own flesh and blood away to strangers.
I can't blame her for not choosing that route, but it also

(01:58:01):
sucks that she will need to sacrifice so much and be in an
unwanted marriage and living arrangement, in order to keep
her baby. Opie has to choose between two
shity choices. I message her about a government
program that houses pregnant teens and helps them, find
housing arrangements and educational job opportunities.
But since she's been getting a deluge of messages, she probably
skipped over mine in my humble opinion.

(01:58:23):
Something like that. Would have been a great, third
choice. Cathouse chicken, I think the
saddest thing about something like this is the type of people
to talk her out of an abortion are the same type of people that
wouldn't want to allocate funds for helping a young single
mother. Our Auntie abortion policies
coupled with lack of public funds to help new mothers who
don't get abortions, really reiterate?

(01:58:43):
The purpose of anti-abortion policy and that's to create a
baby pipeline for adopters. Stepdad's.
Birthday gift. Turn.
Nightmare hidden camera. Found in clock the shocking.
Truth about who really planted it.
For my 18th birthday. My stepdad, gifted me a clock,
when I discovered a hidden camera inside, I fled suspecting
him, but later found out the newassistant was responsible for

(01:59:06):
spying on me. I'm 18 and live with my mom and
stepdad Joshua. My Mom married Josh, six months
ago after a rough divorce, with my dad who had an affair, it was
a messy situation and now neither my mom or I have any
contact with him, Josh has been a family friend for as long as I
can remember. I never suspected.
He had feelings for my mom, and I don't think anything happened

(01:59:27):
between them before the divorce growing up.
I called him Uncle Josh, and spent time at his dental
practice. So it was a bit of an adjustment
seeing him as a father figure, but I always liked him and he
makes my mom happy. So, I went with it, yesterday
was my birthday and I usually don't make a big deal out of it.
I went to school then, hung out with friends, it was a nice day

(01:59:48):
when I got home. I was surprised to find out my
mom and Josh at a surprise partyfor me, this was quite a shock
because my mom is Usually terrible at keeping secrets.
I walked in to find my mom. Josh, Aunt, Kathy, and my little
cousins ready to surprise me. It was actually quite nice.
We celebrated with cake and my favorite foods and everyone

(02:00:08):
seemed happy. Then came the time for presents,
which is where things took a turn.
I opened gifts from my cousins and Aunt.
Kathy first, then my mom and Josh gave me concert tickets to
one of my favorite bands. I was thrilled because I had
been saving up for ages to buy aticket with my part-time Diner
job. It felt like the best birthday
gift ever after my ad and cousins left, I went to my room

(02:00:30):
to tell my best friend about thetickets.
I was in bed, chatting with her.When Josh knocked on my door
saying he had one more present for me.
I was already so happy with the tickets that I couldn't imagine
anything better. Josh brought out a huge box and
ire into the wrapping inside wasa pink wall clock with little
strawberry. Decals, it was cute but seemed
under compared to the concert tickets.

(02:00:51):
Nevertheless, I was grateful andplaced it on my study table.
Josh asked if I liked it and I said yes he was really happy and
mentioned that the concert tickets were my mom's idea, but
he wanted to get me something special on his own.
My room is decorated in pink with lots of strawberry themed
items. So the clock fit perfectly.
I appreciated the thought and thanked him.

(02:01:11):
Again for being so considerate, he wished me a happy birthday.
Once more and left feeling sleepy.
I told Amy I was going to bed and would talk to her the next
day. She had been on the call and her
Josh. Come in asking what he got me
when I told her, it was a clock.She insisted, I show it to her.
I promised to send a picture thenext morning, but she was
persistent. So, I agreed to take a picture

(02:01:33):
and send it right then, even though I didn't want to get out
of bed. So she would have to settle for
a terrible dark picture. With my flash on my study, table
is right beside my bed. So, what I'm lying down, I can
just barely reach it feeling, extremely lazy.
I decided to stretch out and snap the picture from bed.
That's when I noticed something really odd.
My room was pitch dark. I don't have any night lights or

(02:01:55):
fairy lights because I need complete darkness to sleep.
I grabbed my phone, open the camera turned on the flash and
aimed it at the clock. That's when I saw it a small
bluish light on the clock, the time flashed in a soft pink, but
there was a noticeable blue light, I found it strange, but
didn't think much of it? I took the picture sent it to
Amy and tried to sleep. I was almost asleep when I

(02:02:18):
remembered something from a movie, or TV show and Instantly
sat up, I glanced at the clock. Again, did a quick search on
Google and it to take another picture this time with my front
camera. Guess what?
The same blue light confirmed it.
There was a hit in camera in that clock.
In case you didn't know, you candetect hidden cameras, using the
front cameras on most phones andsometimes even the back camera,

(02:02:39):
I'm not sure exactly where I learned this, but I'm a huge fan
of crime documentaries. So, maybe I picked it up from a
show or something. I was convinced there was a
camera in that clock and it was recording me.
I felt a knot in my stomach. I didn't know what was going on.
Why would Josh give me somethinglike that?
Someone might have been watchingme, right then and there that
thought snapped me out of my shock.

(02:03:01):
I got up through the clock in the trash.
And when I returned to bed, I was trembling and confused.
I didn't understand what was happening.
It all seemed surreal. I didn't know what to do.
So I called Amy and woke her up.I explained what happened and
she was just as freaked out as Iwas, we stayed on the call for a
while and she suggested I call the cops because clearly Josh

(02:03:22):
was some sort of creep and who knows where else he might have
hidden cameras, the thought mademy stomach churn, I considered
going straight to my mom and Josh to tell them what happened,
but I was so confused and scaredat That moment, it almost felt
like a nightmare Amy and I ventured online to locate a
particular clock on a dubious website.
After some thorough searching, we finally found it.

(02:03:42):
The site was filled with Erie, surveillance gadgets and similar
items. The most unsettling part was
spotting stuffed animals there, which made me even more.
Uneasy since I own many stuffed animals, some gifted by my mom
and Josh over the years. It made me wonder if any of them
could have hidden cameras. I began feeling like everything
in my room was watching me. It was one of the most

(02:04:02):
distressing experiences I've hadunsure of what else to do.
I gather, all the stuffed animals that I hadn't bought
myself along with the clock stuffed them into a trash bag
and got rid of them feeling physically ill.
I decided to just sleep it off and handle it in the morning.
I took some melatonin played some white noise and tried to
sleep. I don't remember when I fell
asleep but I know it wasn't much.

(02:04:23):
My mom woke me up shouting, my name, disoriented it took me a
moment to understand that she was yelling about the wall
clock. She said Josh found it while
taking out the trash that morning and was deeply hurt by
my actions. I took a deep breath and told
her to give me a moment. So I could explain everything
confident, that she would understand why I was relieved to
have thrown it away. She called me an ungrateful,

(02:04:45):
brat saying, I wasn't worth the effort.
They put into making my birthday, special and demanded
that I apologize to Joshua immediately before I get into.
What happened next, keep in mind, it was very early in the
morning just before, 7:00 a.m. I had a rough night and barely
slept my mom's agitation put me in a bad mood too.
So when she told me to apologize, I snapped back that

(02:05:06):
Josh was lucky. I wasn't reporting him to the
police for being a massive creep.
My mom lost it and slapped me. I was shocked in 18 years.
She had never raised a hand to me and now she did it over a
man. I was offended and deeply hurt
the full reality of the situation, hit me and I started
to cry. My mom thought I was crying
because of the slap, but it was more than that.

(02:05:26):
I was overwhelmed and needed hersupport but she only made things
worse. She saw me crying and said,
there was no point in it. That I should have thought
before acting like a brat and throwing away a thoughtful gift.
That was the last straw. I got really angry and yelled
that she should think twice before defending her husband.
She got even angrier and warned me to be careful about what I
said. Next, I had enough.

(02:05:48):
I got out of bed, grab my phone and car keys and asked her if
she knew where Josh got the clock from, she thought I was
implying, it was a cheap gift which wasn't the point at all.
As she started to say something else.
I told her I had enough and didn't want to hear it.
I pushed Pastor ran to my car and drove away.
She followed me to the driveway and tried to stop me, but I was

(02:06:09):
quick enough to get away. I drove to a nearby Diner and
sat there for a while, trying tofigure out my next move.
Knowing I couldn't go home. I called Amy and she told me to
come over to her place. That's where I've been since the
afternoon, Amy. And I decided to confront my mom
and tell her the truth. So we sent her screenshots of
the creepy site where the clock was listed.
I sent them to her and waited about an hour later, I started

(02:06:32):
getting calls and texts from both her and Josh.
I didn't want to talk to either of them.
So I ignored the calls, but the texts were all apologies.
They both said they were ashamedof how they acted.
And should have given me a chance to talk.
Instead of lashing out they offered to explain if I gave
them a chance, but I honestly didn't care.
I couldn't see how this could beexplained or made, okay.
And I definitely didn't want to go back home.

(02:06:55):
I texted my mom telling her to stop trying to reach me because
I wasn't interested in hearing her out.
She replied with a long message saying that Josh was innocent
and would never do anything likethat.
Apparently, the wall clock was bought by his assistant Peter.
Josh did want to get me something for my birthday
without mom's help but didn't care enough to pick something
out himself. So he asked Peter, Peter is a

(02:07:16):
new guy working for Josh for thelast few months, Josh hired him
fresh out of college. So he's not much older than me
since Josh's practices nearby. He sometimes sends Peter to run
errands like getting his lunch and he has even come to dinner.
So I've met him a few times. He always seemed kind of creepy
to me. So it wasn't a big surprise that
he would try something like this.
He never even tried to talk to me directly and I had no reason

(02:07:40):
to believe he was capable of doing something like that.
My mom's text said, they wanted to call the cops on Peter, but
wouldn't do it without my permission?
She also said she would leave Josh because he put me in this
spot with his carelessness. That shocked me because I know
my mom really loves Josh, so it Must have been hard for her to
say that this finally made me call her my mom sounded
devastated. She had no idea about the camera

(02:08:02):
and felt incredibly guilty for not believing the early.
She kept sobbing and apologized a million times.
Saying she was sorry for everything, especially for
slapping me and not listening when I needed her.
Most she said she just wanted meto come back home.
So she could apologize in personand make things right between
us. I told her, I still wasn't ready
to see her, but asked if she wassure it was Peter and not Josh,

(02:08:23):
who bought the clock. She said, she trusts Josh.
I told her I was still not comfortable living in the same
house as him. And she said, I was more
important to her and if I wantedto she would get separated from
Josh. I told her I needed time to
think. Also, I got a million missed
calls from Josh, but I didn't pick up any of them.
He texted me many times saying he can prove that Peter bought

(02:08:44):
the clock and that he had no idea.
It had a camera. He also said my mom wasn't
speaking to him in me to hear him out.
He said he loved my mom and me as a daughter and would never do
anything to hurt us. So that's what my day has been.
Like, Amy has been my rock and said, I can stay with her as
long as I need. It's just her and her grandma at
their house. And I know her grandma, well, so

(02:09:05):
I'm sure she won't mind me, staying until I figure out my
next move. My mom has even tried to reach
Amy, but she didn't pick up. It's not hard to figure out
where I would go in a situation like this but I hope she doesn't
actually show up at her door. I feel really guilty and
conflicted. I think maybe I should hear him
out and see if he actually has proof, but at the same time, I
feel scared and unsafe at the thought of seeing him.

(02:09:27):
I don't want to destroy my mom'smarriage over a
misunderstanding, but I'm wondering if I'm doing something
wrong here. Amy says, I should do, what
feels right to me, but I'm not sure at all update one.
I did not expect to become Reddit, famous overnight.
The response to my post has beenoverwhelming with so many
questions and comments that I haven't even had a chance to

(02:09:47):
read through them all. But I have some major updates to
share first. The morning after my post, my
mom and Josh showed up at Amy's place, I wasn't surprised.
I told my mom, I didn't want to see Josh and that they should
leave, but she begged me to hearher out.
She was very emotional. Clearly having been crying and
even Josh looked rough feeling bad for them.
I decided to hear them out. Once first, let me clarify that

(02:10:11):
Josh was not lying about Peter, picking out the gift.
He showed me texts between them.Although there was no direct
text about finding a gift. There were messages from Peter
saying he found the perfect itemin a picture of the clock.
It looked like an ordinary clockjust like when I first got it,
Josh had told him to order it and send the invoice to the
office. The conversation was basic and

(02:10:31):
nothing seemed suspicious reflecting on my interactions
with Peter. Nothing major stood out.
He had just been a little creepylike catching him looking at me,
but I never thought much of it. I told Mom and Josh about this
and they were Furious. Josh kept apologizing, saying he
failed me and put me in danger and that he would never forgive
himself by then. I knew it wasn't his fault and I

(02:10:53):
wasn't angry at him anymore. I agreed to go back home with
them. I can't believe I almost ruined
their marriage over this. It's gross to think that some
random creep was trying to spy on me in the thought of him.
Seeing me gives me chills. This whole situation is a
nightmare. We decided to go to the police.
We have enough proof to ensure Josh isn't caught up in the
investigation and he's willing to do anything to get me

(02:11:15):
Justice, we're going to the police tomorrow morning.
The clock is still in the trash because we don't want to alert
Peter, if he's still watching, I'm nervous but at least I have
support. I hope they catch him and teach
him a lesson. I'll try to post an update.
Some of you suggested not trusting, Josh thinking he might
be in on it with Peter and now trying to shift the blame, I

(02:11:35):
understand your concerns, but I trust him.
Peter has been a creep for as long as I've known him, even if
Josh were capable of such a thing, why would he involve
Peter? Someone?
He's only worked with, for a fewmonths.
I checked the text on Josh's phone and the timing between
messages. It didn't look like any word
deleted and Josh showed me the transfer of money to Peter's
account for the clock. He had no way of knowing where

(02:11:56):
the clock was bought from, all of.
This makes me feel like I can trust Josh.
I'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt over Peter.
Sure. Josh should have been more
careful and picked out the gift himself, but that doesn't make
him a criminal Peter wouldn't take the fall for Josh because
there's enough proof to get him in trouble.
If Josh was involved the investigation will reveal the
truth. Regarding how Peter knew I would

(02:12:18):
like that kind of clock Josh mentioned that he told, Peter to
look for something pink and preferably with strawberries,
it's not a hard guess for anyone, who knows me.
I love pink and have a lot of strawberry themed things.
It's just part of my personality, but instead of
focusing on that, we should be more concerned that these
products even exist. Many of you have asked me to
name the site where the clock was bought, but I don't want to

(02:12:40):
cause trouble. However, you can easily find it
if you search for hidden cam clocks online, Amy and I found
it pretty quickly that night update too.
We call the cops on Peter and hegot arrested.
Thank you to everyone who offered advice and support on my
previous post after reading yourcomments and discussing it with
my mom and Josh I realized I couldn't just let this go.

(02:13:00):
I felt shaken and scared but I knew I needed to To act to
protect myself, and possibly others.
I talked with Amy and realized he might be doing this to other
girls. Maybe even minors, which made me
more determined to stop him after having breakfast and
Gathering my thoughts. I decided to call the police.
My mom and Josh stayed with me for emotional support.
I explained everything to the dispatcher, the hidden camera

(02:13:24):
the suspicious clock and my confrontation, with my mom, they
took it seriously and sent two officers to our house to take my
statement. The officer was very
understanding and professional Iwas nervous about how it would
go, but the officer just asked me to describe the clock in
detail in any other suspicious items.
He asked about my interactions with Peter and I told him

(02:13:44):
everything. I could remember though, there
wasn't much. I also mentioned the website
where Amy and I found similar spy devices.
The officer assured me. They would investigate
thoroughly, we shared the text exchanges between Josh and
Peter. Showing that Josh asked Peter to
pick out the GIF, the officer said they needed Josh to go with
them for questioning Joshua. Immediately reassuring us that

(02:14:05):
there was no need to worry and that he would be back soon.
After taking my statement, the officer asked if I felt safe
staying at home and if I had anyfriends or family, I could stay
with. I told him, I trusted my mom and
Josh and felt all right. He told me to contact them.
If I felt unsafe, they also needed to search our house for
other possible, hidden cameras or suspicious items.
The police conducted, a thoroughsearch particularly in my room,

(02:14:28):
but found nothing besides the clock and some stuffed animals.
I had thrown away, Peter claimedthat none of the other items
were bought by him. And my Mom confirmed that most
were bought by her, the police went through them, but found
nothing suspicious. They didn't find anything else
in the house, which visibly relieved?
My mom, when the police confirmed, there were no other
objects of concern. Josh left with the cops and came

(02:14:49):
back after a few hours when I asked what happened, he said it
was all routine. They asked if he wanted a lawyer
which he declined and mentioned,he might be called in again, the
cops also wanted my mom to come in for standard questioning the
next day and needed me to come in two for paperwork and other
details. Peter was arrested at his home
and is now under investigation for invasion of privacy and

(02:15:10):
related crimes. I don't know much about the
ongoing investigation, but I hope he confesses or they gather
enough evidence to convict him and prove Josh wasn't involved.
It has been an exhausting day and I just want all of this to
be over soon. My mom and Josh have been very
supportive giving me space to process everything.
We've also hired a lawyer whom I'll meet tomorrow I'll try to

(02:15:31):
provide an update but it might take a while as I need time to
process everything and wait for more.
Definite developments update 3. It has been four months since my
last update. I've been really busy.
So I apologize for the delay. First Peter was found guilty and
we pressed charges against him. He didn't put up a fight and
admitted to buying the camera clock without Josh's knowledge,

(02:15:52):
to spy on me. The only silver Mining.
Is that? We found no evidence of him
doing anything similar in the past.
Since I was a minor, when Peter first started working for Josh,
he didn't bother to delete his search history.
The police found the site with surveillance devices on his
computer more disturbingly. They also discovered that he
followed me on almost all my social media using fake IDs.

(02:16:12):
I had no idea about this and it really creeped me out.
He admitted that he had a crush on me when he first saw me,
which is extremely creepy because he was an adult.
And I was only 17 at the time, the police didn't find any
evidence of him doing anything except following me on social
media. While I was still a minor, he
said, he knew he couldn't approach me directly.
So, when Josh asked him to pick out a present, he came up with

(02:16:34):
this discussing plan. I don't even want to think about
what would have happened. If I had not noticed the camera
that night since he had no priorconvictions or criminal charges
against him, this was considereda misdemeanor rather than a
felony. Despite our efforts to charge
him with a felony, he only spenta few days in jail before being
bailed out. I am quite disappointed with how
things turned out, but at least his actions are permanently on

(02:16:56):
his record. That's all I can.
Tell myself over the past few months, I've been focusing on
school and getting into college.I am also going to therapy to
deal with the trauma of what happened.
I am grateful to have my mom Amyand Josh supporting me through
all of this. My stepfather murdered my mother
before taking his own life. I'm overwhelmed lost and unsure

(02:17:19):
of how to move forward. I know this doesn't sound real.
I have my boyfriend and my best friend here.
I've known this for about two and a half hours, it still
doesn't seem real. I don't really know what I want
to accomplish with this post, but I swear it is real.
It's 351 a.m. in Berlin right now.
We were trying to finish watching the movie that we
started before the police rang at my door.

(02:17:40):
I don't know what to do. Edit, the police just called me.
My stepfather killed himself. I wish I could destroy him right
now. I just feel empty.
At it, too. I don't even know why I'm
posting here. I'm usually just a lurker I
guess I just want somebody to know.
I feel like the whole world should know.
My mother is the most amazing person and she is always been my

(02:18:02):
idol. I just I don't know how to feel
I'm in our apartment and I feel like everything I see is her My
evening started so differently. Everything started so
differently. I haven't slept yet.
I don't know how I will though. Sleeping is usually my talent
mom. Wakes me up every afternoon if
she feels like I'm sleeping too long.
Since I moved back in during thecovid lockdown update. hello, my

(02:18:27):
last post got capped so I made athrowaway account It's been
about 24 hours since the police stood in front of the door to my
mom's and my apartment and told me that my mother is dead.
I've cried so much today. I feel like it's been an ocean
of Tears so much that I just feel empty.
Now I miss her so fucking much. It still just feels like a bad
dream. This can't really be real.

(02:18:49):
Her death was on the news and I saw a picture of a body in a
blue body bag being rolled into the back of a wagon.
That is my mother in that bag. Oh my God, I'm gonna run down
what happened again. Maybe this will make it more
real for myself. I don't know my boyfriend and I
were in the park playing speed, Mitten on Wednesday evening.
When my mom called me and told me she would be coming home.
I asked her if everything was okay and she said, yes not to

(02:19:12):
worry about it. And my boyfriend was still,
welcome to come over. If he liked I told her okay.
I would see her in a moment. We both went home and she wasn't
there. I wasn't worried my stepfather.
And my mom have been together for a while and they're very
much in love, but they can fighta lot.
Sometimes, they always make up very quickly.
I tried calling her several times to know if she wanted
dinner and Center, text messagesand texted and called my

(02:19:34):
stepfather as well. They didn't answer.
This wasn't so unusual either. I thought they just made up, I'm
guessing by this time he had already stabbed her, I feel
sick, right? Riding this sentence, the police
showed up at 3. In the morning, informed me
stayed in the Apartment, while my boyfriend called, my best
friend, who rushed over with a taxi.
Everything is kind of a blur from, then on.

(02:19:55):
I remember sitting down to writethe Reddit post because I didn't
know how to feel or what to do and I guess I wanted to scream
my pain into the internet void. At that point, my stepfather
hadn't killed himself yet. He had taken his car up into the
countryside, where my mother hasa tiny little house at the lake,
which is her pride and joy with her garden.
Both of them went up there everyweekend together.

(02:20:15):
He killed himself there. The fucking bastard.
I've never been so angry in my life.
I loved him. He was a part of my family.
We got along really well, some part of me wishes.
I could strangle him or scratch his eyes out.
I just want to scream in his face how he could do this.
To me to her my lovely mother fuc.
She is such a fucking light. She is such an incredible

(02:20:37):
person, and we are so close. I told her everything and not
just because she is my mother. She is truly.
An absolutely amazing person. Everybody who met her?
Loved her, I stayed awake until about 6 a.m.
I smashed a few glasses. I cried a lot.
We finished watching the movie today, I had to call all of the
people. My grandparents, her brother,
her friends. I had to call my stepfather's

(02:21:00):
children in the UK and tell themwhat happened.
I Can't imagine how hard it mustbe for them.
My mother was the victim. Their father was the murderer.
I feel so bad for them. I've gotten so many calls and
messages from people who are offering to help me in any way.
I need, who cry on the phone andasked me if this is real.
To have to tell people over and over again.
What happened? Really wrecked me especially my

(02:21:23):
grandparents my granddad. I don't know how he's going to
get through this. He just kept screaming.
No, no, not my mom's name. I have to go to the police
today. To give a statement.
Probably talk about their relationship.
I have to be there in 412 hours and I haven't really slept yet.
I can't really eat either. I just feel like throwing up

(02:21:43):
just thinking about food. I wanted to thank all of you for
your comments on my first post. I know we don't know each other
that I'm just some Far Away voice on a screen with a
terrible fate but I did feel better reading, your hugs and
encouragement. I will have to think about
getting a lawyer My dad is sleeping in the other room.
We're going to have to figure out how to get here.
Some part of me honestly doesn'tsee a point anymore.

(02:22:06):
There's so much pain in my life.I've had so many bad
experiences. I got through a rape and a drug
problem and everything was on its way up and now this but I
love my mom more than anything and I can't disappoint her and
I'm going to need to be here formy dad and me.
I'm sorry for the long text. I just feel like I need to get
something out. I feel so lost and empty.

(02:22:26):
I miss my mom update. Hello, I guess in some way, I
wanted to give you people an update on what has been going on
with me. When I posted my first post, I
was slightly drunk, it was the night, the police showed up at
my house and rang the doorbell and I was confused.
All of your messages from randomstrangers, helped me in some
way. I'd like to thank whoever sent

(02:22:47):
me that poem by Mary, Elizabeth Frye.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
We use that for the invitation to her party.
And also Bianca, who painted that beautiful painting of her,
which she sent me by email. Thank you, the poem by Mary
Elizabeth Frye. Do not stand at my grave and
weep. I am not there.
I do not sleep. I am 1,000 wins that blow.

(02:23:08):
I am the diamond glints on snow.I am the son on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn rain. When you awaken in the mornings
hush I am. The Swift uplifting Rush of
quiet. Birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night, do not stand at my
grave and cry. I am not there, I did not die.
Also fair warning, this might bequite a long post, this might

(02:23:31):
trigger someone and I've been riding this post over several
days. As more information keeps
trickling in, and the picture ofthat night is becoming clearer
and clearer. I think I'm also mainly writing
this for my self. What happened?
That night? The 23rd of July is just still
so surreal. I'm sitting at my mother's desk
right now and her little office in our apartment that I grew up

(02:23:52):
in in Berlin. Her presence in some way is all
around me. It has been 23 days since the
police showed up in front of my door, at 3:00 in the morning.
And asked, if they could come in, since my stepfather, hung
himself, everything has been so confusing.
It's all sort of a mixture between crying screaming,
yelling, throwing things. And just emptiness, I go through

(02:24:12):
phases, someone linked that famous post about grief and got
it so accurate, and it's really hard to cope.
Since that night, I haven't everactually been alone, this is
somewhat exhausting to me in some ways, but probably also
very important. I'm going to go through the
series of events and facts because I also want to set it
right since in the media. Since some of you found the

(02:24:32):
articles online and connected, the dots there is so much false
information. It's hard to believe my mother
and my stepfather were together for eight years and he is only
been living in Berlin since then.
He has children from his previous marriage, that is all I
will say. I am my mother's only daughter.
He did not call me and confessedto what he did as many report.
But he called some vaguely mutual friend who he walks his

(02:24:55):
dog, with sometimes, this was sometime after 11 p.m. at this
point. He was already up at the summer
house. It takes about one hour and 45
minutes to get up there. This means my mother had been
dead for about two hours. It says, so in the police report
as well, the summer house did not belong to my stepdad, but to
my mom, she poured all of the little money she had and

(02:25:16):
renovated it by hand. It does not in any way belong to
him. The police showed up at my mom's
and my apartment late at night. They didn't know the address of
where he might have gone and were also worried.
He might come and harm me since he had the keys to our apartment
as well. I was watching a movie with a
friend of mine, I posted on Reddit a few hours later.
The news article started coming out the next day.
Connecting my stepfather to a celebrity.

(02:25:39):
I posted because I needed help this celebrity and my stepfather
are by no means friends. They are acquaintances and there
is no reason for him to be brought into any of this.
That was Wednesday night. Thursday morning on Friday, I
was at the Landis criminal, alt criminal police and gave a
three-hour statement about them and their relationship.
This next part is about my feelings and mainly about my

(02:25:59):
mom, feel free to skip it. Since then, my whole world has
been turned upside down my mother.
The person I honestly loved mostin the whole world was just torn
from me. It feels like I have this big
bleeding hole inside of me. I'm not crying all the time
sometimes I feel okay but more like empty. my mother has been
with me my whole life, the whole21 years and I'm not just saying

(02:26:21):
this because she is dead, she ishonestly, the best mother you
could wish for She is Goofy and caring.
Her laugh is infectious. She has such integrity She is
the most animated person when she tells a story.
She will get up from the table and gesture all around her eyes
are so shining, I think I might show some pictures of her
because I want people to recognize her beauty.

(02:26:43):
I want the whole world to know she is gone because this is an
honest and devastating loss to the world.
Believe me. She is so talented.
She got her bachelor in art history in America.
She has worked odd jobs. All her life.
She's always been a hippie. When I was little, she started
working at this English language, summer camp in Turing
and in Germany. And she used to take me there

(02:27:03):
for many weeks with her on a hill, on a farm, in the middle
of a giant forest. She is a magician in the
kitchen. She can open the fridge door and
magically make something out of leftover ingredients that nobody
would ever. Think tastes good Noodle's and
carrots. Anyone.
She likes to make everything herself, she would let milk go
bad and make her own ricotta. I have a thousand jars of her,
homemade chutneys and jams. She baked her own bread years

(02:27:26):
before the pandemic, she made her own vinegar, her own syrups
and alcohol in her hot. Sauce is our legendary.
I used to come home and open thefridge door.
And I'd ask her, which of the many bowls.
She had covered with little plates were edible and which
were ready yet. Since she's dead, I have found
so many started experiments of things.
I don't even know what they are.I wish I could ask her.
There are so many things. I wish I had the time to ask

(02:27:48):
her. Writing.
This is making me cry again at the beginning of the pandemic
March, I believe I move back in with her and she ordered 14
different bottles of white wine on little.
And every night, we drink one together while we cooked, and
I'd write notes on the color in the taste and we'd give it a 110
on the little scale. She's one of the funniest
people, I know, and she is so forgiving, even when I was

(02:28:09):
younger, we would get into huge blow up fights sometimes and
we'd scream, but five minutes afterwards.
She'd come into my room and she'd apologize.
And tell me she loved me more than anything in the world.
We told each other, we loved oneanother all the time.
Sometimes just randomly and hugged each other.
I'm so, so grateful for this, I would say we had a rare mother
daughter bond. I love her with all my heart.

(02:28:30):
She is always been my idol. My role model.
If I'm even half the person, sheis as generous hilarious.
Creative emotional forgiving andunderstanding, I will be lucky.
I see her face in front of me all the time I can hear her
laugh. Fuck I'd really give anything
for her to be with me right now.Anything.

(02:28:50):
It really tears me apart. If it weren't for her, I would
have probably been dead 1 1, 2 years ago.
She pulled me out of my dark holes.
She loved me. Unconditionally She isn't just
my mother. She is my best friend and I will
never ever forgive him for taking her from me, especially
since more and more facts are coming out and of emotional bit.

(02:29:11):
It's important to preface that Iknew their relationship or to be
more exact. I was the closest to both of
them together and it's importantto understand that he wasn't
some creepy. Abusive, scary, bad guy, I loved
him. He was like a best friend to me
when he came into my mother's and my life, I took him in with
open arms, I've confided in him.I've told him Secrets, we've had

(02:29:32):
running jokes, we made bets witheach other, that I usually won.
And he had to pay up, he was my family.
This makes me feel just as Khan.I feel cheated.
I feel like I've been blind. I've had bad fights with him as
well. And I knew about their fights,
but I didn't see this coming. Not even a little bit.
I would never put my mother In Harm's Way.
I guess. This is why she must have kept

(02:29:54):
things hidden from me. The murder happened in his
apartment. They had separate apartments and
afterwards. He drove his car up to my
mother's Country House, that they both spent every weekend at
hunting mushrooms Planning and Building Things going swimming
in the lake. That's right in front of the
door. This was their refuge and I'm
assuming this is the reason he went there.

(02:30:14):
Since the day this has happened,I've always assumed he blew up
about something lost control andhe killed my mother, while he
wasn't clear-headed. This is what made sense to me
that he killed himself because he killed my mother.
Because he didn't know how to continue.
But the more time goes by and the more facts we uncover we
being my mother's friends and I not the police, the more it

(02:30:34):
seems it was the opposite that he killed my mother because he
wanted to kill himself and that he was covering something up
since the night. The police showed up, they've
been asking me if I could know where their laptops are they
both had a laptop and both are missing, they found the empty
cases but they're gone. This sparked suspicion in us,
his phone has gone as well. My mother's is not the police

(02:30:56):
gave it to me. Then there are the other facts.
Trigger warning. Despite what it said in the
media, she didn't have multiple stab wounds in her chest, there
was only one very precise and very small wound that caused her
death. He only let someone know what he
did after he was up at the house.
When he arrived at the cabin, heapparently parked normally even
greeted. One of the neighbors, the pieces

(02:31:17):
are falling into place that thiswas cold-blooded.
I don't really know why I'm writing all this down in a Word
document and why I'm going to post it on Reddit but I need to
share. I feel so much hatred and so
much anger. I feel it boiling underneath my
skin and it keeps threatening tocome out.
I've smashed so much stuff. I've gotten so angry, sometimes
I snap and I scream at people and other times.

(02:31:39):
I just cry and beat my pillows and sometimes I'm very calm.
I can still feel Joy and my mother has this amazing circle
of friends that I've known my whole life and who are
supporting me. I saw her body in the coffin and
I will never be able to get thatimage out of my head.
She was so tiny it breaks my heart.
I've also slept two nights at the cabin and in the dark, every

(02:32:00):
shadow looked like my stepfather.
I've become scared and started locking my doors at night.
Murder used to seem something. So far off, something that
happened to other people in a different world separate from
mine but now it's not and I won't let him spoil her place
her house. I won't let him take that away
from her. And from me, I refuse.

(02:32:21):
I just miss her. I miss everything about her.
It hasn't been that long yet andall I want is for her to hug me
and say my name and say she loves me and that she thinks I'm
an amazing young woman. I wanted to cuddle with me in
bed which she did for so many years until I felt myself too
old. I want to sit at the kitchen
table in the morning with her and have her ask me what I
dreamed about last night and have both of us.

(02:32:43):
Talk about our dreams for her totalk with me about my story
ideas and my poetry and to talk with her about the book that she
was writing and will never finish it.
Just hurts so much. I don't know how to ever get
past this. She has always been the most
amazing person I know, and I can't get over this.
I don't know how to get over this, I feel lost.
I feel like I have to grow up very fast.

(02:33:03):
Now and carry her with me. There's so much more to tell so
much but I should probably stop somewhere.
I would appreciate all advice, thank you for reading relevant
comments. Commenter.
It's 23A 40 and now I just want to call my mom.
I'll do that in the morning whenI wake up.
She's my only family. Since I, we cut ties with pretty

(02:33:24):
much everyone else. Be brave and take your time to
recover. I hope everything will be fine
for you after some time, and that you'll get even stronger
after this terrible event. Opie answer.
Hi. You're in the same time zone as
me. Please do this and tell her you
love her from me because I wish I could tell my mom, lots of
love. Commenter.
Hello. Again I commented on the

(02:33:46):
original post because I went through something so, similar, I
want to thank you for the update.
It couldn't have been easy to write, but more than that I'm
glad to see you on Reddit just to know you're still around.
The part of this post that most struck me.
Was you spending time in the cabin?
I remember the days in my father's house after his murders
and suicide. So vividly and looking back on
it. I wish I hadn't gone there at

(02:34:07):
all which leads me to this, you don't have to do things.
The hard way. You don't have to make things
harder on yourself. When grief is raw and shocking
as what you've experienced takesover, we sometimes want to swim
in it because at least feeling something is better than
remaining numb feeling Hollow. But I want to lovely and gently
encourage you, to make sure you're taking care of yourself.

(02:34:28):
I also want to reiterate how useful a trauma-informed
therapist can be. I was dead set against therapy
after my father's crimes happened.
I thought I could handle everything on my own after all.
I always been the strong one. I waited a year to find a
counselor and if I could change a single thing, I did it would
be that. I would have sought out help
sooner. I didn't really know how to ask

(02:34:50):
for help at the time, it took meyears to learn how but it would
have been a measurably useful tohave someone help me through all
of that. Like, you I was in my 20s, when
my father killed his girlfriend,her daughter, then himself, that
was 16 years ago. There is a life on the other
side of all of this trauma and heartbreak, I promise.
And the book I just finished writing about was finally handed

(02:35:11):
in on the last day of July. Maybe someday it can help you
and others. I have thought of you many times
since your first post my offer to reach out at any time stands
any time. Edited to add.
Quite a few people asked about the book in this thread and Via
DM. It's with my agent now, so it
early as it would be out in a year books.

(02:35:32):
Take forever. The title is we run to crush the
grass, thank you for the interest but please focus on op.
She needs the love and kindness of strangers.
Op answer. You especially you have helped
me so much Lisa. Thank you so much.
You've been such a light in these dark times.
Advising me listening to me, checking up on me since my first

(02:35:55):
post and listening to me complaining about my family.
You're such an amazing person and communicating with you has
helped me so immensely. I send you so much love and I
will continue being in contact with you.
I can't wait for your book, comment, you must have inherited
your mother's writing talent because your story about her was
so beautifully, told I agree with the others who gently
suggest you speak with a therapist trying to deal with

(02:36:16):
trauma. They can help you with your
anger and other feelings and thoughts as they arise.
So you can be guided to a properhealing.
My heart goes out to you and if you will, I'll pray for a
thousand healing angels to surround you.
Op answer. The night, the police showed up
at my door at about 4. A.m. it started raining.
Even though it wasn't supposed to, I went outside on the street

(02:36:38):
and I started praying to every god.
There was even though I'm not religious but in these moments
it really doesn't matter. You just want something higher
to help you? Thank you so much at Adobe added
in this threat. Hey, everyone.
Imagine my surprise scrolling through Reddit on my living room
couch. This fine afternoon.
When I see a little picture of my mom and me, and my feet.

(02:36:59):
Was not expecting that at all and then to look further down
and see all of these wonderful and heartfelt comments
underneath. I couldn't believe it and I
actually started crying again. This is the reason I reached out
back then into the void as I called it at my darkest time and
read it reached back and gave mesomething to hold on to when you
lose your faith in humanity. In that way, I needed the love

(02:37:20):
that came from. So many strangers all over and
the support yesterday was actually my birthday.
I just turned 25. So it has been a bit over three
years, and I can't believe that three years have passed.
I can't stand to believe that much time has passed without her
thinking about. It makes it hurt more.
I miss her so much. Thank you to everyone for
worrying about me and wishing me.

(02:37:40):
Well, I'll give a quick update and one of these days, maybe sit
down and write something more out.
I've been in therapy for almost two years now, and I have a
wonderful therapist that helps me greatly.
It took me a while to find her and there was a lot of trial and
error with former therapist but she's amazing.
And I'm so happy. I have her.
She actually says that, I have improved greatly in a number of
things. I'm a mess though.

(02:38:02):
My mother's murder is something that I've buried very deep down
below in the darkness of my psyche and we haven't quite
reached it yet. I really hate my stepmother and
I don't know how to tell my dad about it without causing a big
issue. I'm feeling very stuck right
now. Hey, this might be a long one.
I'm sorry, it is too long. I didn't read at the bottom.
I really don't know what to do about my situation, and I don't

(02:38:25):
have anyone close to give me advice.
So I thought here, I can maybe get some advice.
I have an amazing dad who raisedme since my mom passed away when
I was five years old. He is my friend, my supporter
and someone who I want to be. Like when I grow up, when my dad
first introduced, my stepmom to me, I was 10 years old and she
was very nice to me. And he looked so happy that we
met and hoped we could get along, they got married when I

(02:38:47):
was 13 and I was so happy that my dad and I had a new member in
our family, I thought me and stepmother were getting along
until I think a few months aftertheir honeymoon.
She told me one morning that we just need to pretend to, like,
each around my dad, but when he is not here, that I shouldn't
bother her. Honestly, this shattered me.
But I agreed because I didn't know what else to do.
After that day, whenever it was just me and stepmother, she

(02:39:08):
would say things to get to me and I would just not say
anything. I'm introverted and don't like
confrontations. So I just took it and thought
over time she would get over it.But it got worse.
She would talk about my height and weight and say I was a funny
looking version of my dad. I hope my dad would notice but
he didn't. He actually thinks me and
stepmother are so close and she understands me, he looks so

(02:39:29):
happy with her. That maybe it's worth not saying
anything and giving it time thisyear, my stepmother has started
picking on me around my dad and he is either joined in or
ignored it. I have voice that what she says,
makes me uncomfortable and hurts, but my dad says she is
teasing and doesn't mean it to hurt me.
Well, right now, I'm at my ends and I'm scared.
I'm angry frustrated at my stepmother and my dad, dad was

(02:39:50):
away for work and it was just meand stepmother at home.
She had a party at home with a couple of her friends.
I helped set the house up and cook dinner because dad asked me
to help out which was fine afterthey ate and just hung out.
They were hanging out on the porch when I heard stepmother,
and her friends talking very loudly outside my window while I
was in my room. Stepmother friends talked about
how lucky stepmother was to havea nice husband.

(02:40:11):
And a house when they mentioned,how nice it was that I cooked
for them. Stepmother, told them that I was
annoying and weird and she hatedme and living with me and
couldn't wait, till I was 18 to kick me out.
I was shocked that she hated me that much, but I didn't know
why. TBH, I thought we were
tolerating each other, but to hate me.
I must have done something, but I can't think of what I did.
I've been kind of down since that day, which was two weeks

(02:40:33):
ago. And I thought I was past the
initial feelings, but it rugby training.
Today, I bursted into tears and my coach sent me home.
So I drove to a beach and cried.I was so much.
I honestly can't describe my emotions.
I eventually fell asleep in my car.
Now, I'm here. Hoping, I can get advice on how
to talk to my dad about it cuz I'm scared about how he will
react. I don't want my dad to be sad

(02:40:53):
because he does so much for me but I'm not strong like him.
I'm really struggling. My question is, how can I
approach this conversation with my dad, about my stepmother,
hating me, or should I tell him at all?
Too long, didn't read, I heard my stepmother.
Tell her friends, she hates me and I want to tell my dad about
it but don't know how. Edit.
Someone questioned my dad's age and I'm sorry, but it was

(02:41:16):
supposed to be 42, but I can't change it.
Sorry, thank you everyone. That provided advice and kind
words. It means a lot to me.
I have read every comment and have an idea on how to approach
this situation. I'm honestly terrified of the
outcome being negative but the encouragement and support are
making this a bit easier to dealwith.
I am going to talk to my dad on Sunday and show him this post.
I hope it goes well and I hope all of you stay safe and take

(02:41:39):
care at it too. I'm not sure what I am able to
do what I plan because Amy just took my car keys away.
And she wants my phone but I won't give it to her.
So she is waiting for my dad, totake, take it off me because
apparently I'm doing drugs, but I told her I'm not, I've been at
the beach, I'm not sure. But I just want to stop because
I can't handle it. I'm sorry.
Update one. Okay.

(02:42:00):
So, my post was locked, but hopefully it's okay now, I've
posted the link and tried my best with spacing.
I'm on mobile. If I can't post it, I give up
For all the support and advice received, I really appreciate
and wholeheartedly. So grateful for all who DM me to
see how I was? Thank you.
This will be long because a lot has happened but many things are

(02:42:21):
still not resolved trigger warning.
I will mention self-harm. So please, if it might trigger
you pills, don't read further. I wish I was able to say, I
followed the advice that was provided and now, everything is
better, but some things in life,don't play the way we want it
to, and we can either let it destroy us or make us better.
After writing my edit where my stepmother was taking my things

(02:42:42):
away and assuming I was on drugs, I started recording on my
phone and she said a lot throughthe door, many things about my
mom and me, and just plain hateful, words that I don't want
to repeat on here. I fell asleep while I was
barricading the door with my body when my dad, demanded that
I opened the door at this point.I don't remember much of what
happened, but my stepmother toldme, I had to leave the house.
And my dad agreed. I didn't know who to call, but I

(02:43:05):
decided to call my coach and he picked me up and I was a crying
mess. He didn't ask any questions, but
just told me that I was safe andif I needed to talk, he was here
for me. I stayed over one night.
When dad picked me up, stepmother was not at home when
we got their dad told me we needed to talk.
We had breakfast in my dad, spoke to me about many things,
my stepmother told him, and I couldn't believe all the lies.

(02:43:25):
She told him, it was a long talkbut in summary, it was my use of
drugs and alcohol. How I disrespect her in our
home. I don't do my responsibilities
like chores at home. I'm nasty to her when Dad is not
around. He asked me why I was acting
like this. And if I had a problem with my
stepmother, I should have spokento him.
I let him talk. And when he was crying and

(02:43:45):
asked, if I had anything to say,I was so lost for words.
I knew whatever I said, my dad was on my Stepmother's side.
So I told him, I wanted him to watch the recording of the
incident that I can send throughas an email attachment in the
link to my Reddit post and then we can talk more.
I also said, I didn't want to behere when he was reading and
watching so I'll go for a drive and he can text me when he's
done and ready to talk. He was hesitant at first but I

(02:44:08):
told him it was important to me.So he agreed and I left in my
car to the beach and sent the email with a video attached and
the link to my Reddit post. I don't know how long I waited
but many thoughts were going through my head.
I was missing my mom so much andwhat if my dad still cited with
my stepmother? What can I do now?
I fell asleep at the beach spot and was woken up by a police

(02:44:28):
officer knocking on my car, door, and asking for my name.
After confirming my name, he advised me to get out my car and
to hand over my keys to him and to follow him to his car.
He handcuffed me in AED, me thatI wasn't in trouble, but this
was a welfare check because someone made a call that I was
possibly suicidal. I didn't talk after he told me
that and all I remember was justcrying.
He made me sit in the back of the police car until the

(02:44:50):
ambulance came and they took me to the hospital.
I was asked many questions and was evaluated and was told I was
depressed, and may have extreme anxiety.
The Physician did say, I might have other things but will
require further testing and somesessions with a psychiatrist.
My dad came and visited me whilein hospital.
And when I saw him, he looked really tired when he spoke at
sounded like he was crying. And he told me, he called the

(02:45:12):
police on me because the video recording I did.
He heard everything my stepmother said, but he also saw
cuts on my thighs and was scared.
And thought the worst honestly, I never watched the video so I
didn't know my thighs were visible after our cry.
We spoke about a few things. I told my dad that I don't feel
comfortable living with stepmother after everything.
She said and done to me over theyears and I'm not sure I can

(02:45:34):
handle being around her because I don't trust her He spoke about
Arrangements in knowing my dad still loves my stepmother and I
didn't want him to choose between us.
I told him that I could talk to coach if I could stay with him
and after calling him, he agreed.
I've also been admitted to an agency that will support me
because I am mentally unwell. I have been to one session and
waiting on another evaluation tobe done on me, and some testings

(02:45:55):
with my general practitioner. So they can diagnose me.
I'm currently staying with my rugby coach, who has been an
amazing pillar, he has set out some house rules, but I respect
the fella and don't mind following them.
My coach even said, a date next week for me and Dad to catch up
on. My coach, is an awesome dude, I
thought of him as just a coach who just wanted our rugby team
to win, but when he allowed me to stay over, he showed so much

(02:46:17):
care for me. And I saw a side to him and
understand how much he cares formy team.
He has a lovely wife but I'm kind of anxious whenever it's
just me and her at their house. That's it right now, my dad
lives at home with my stepmotherand is trying to sort that out.
I have many appointments to get the help I need.
And a lot of school work to catch up on and rugby training
to attend. I've taken a leave of absence
from my maccus job. I'm gonna miss going to the

(02:46:40):
beach for a while, but I understand that it's not a
forever thing. So I hope that the next time I
go there, I'm not crying my eyesout.
I'm kind of working on being. Okay?
If my dad and stepmother, after those of you who shared your
similar experiences someday, I'll be okay.
Thank you to all who advised me and encouraged me.
Those who reached out through direct message.
Thank you for the kind words andreaching out.
I'm not sure if I'll update again, but maybe I'll let you

(02:47:03):
know. If something happens in the
future. Take care.
Everyone also be kind to one another, and most of all be kind
to yourself because you deserve it too long.
Didn't read? I showed my dad my Reddit post
and recording of my stepmother being verbally abusive and now
I'm staying at my coaches house.Trying to sort out my mental
health update, too. Hope everyone has been doing
well. I wasn't going to update at all

(02:47:24):
but many who reached out shared their stories and kind words, it
truly helped me. I wish I was able to reply but
so many things were happening and I'm sorry.
This will be a long one, but it's because this will be the
last time I hope in my last post, my coach sorted out time
for me and my dad to catch up weekly.
I have met up with my dad twice and this is how it went.
First catch up at the beach, we spoke and I told him a lot about

(02:47:48):
what happened between me and hiswife.
I mention how she would treated me when he wasn't there.
What she spoke to me after they got married and how she was
awful to live with. I told him how I dealt with it
for his sake because I wanted him to be happy.
I mentioned to him that I spoke with the coach about staying
there until I go to university and then I'll move away because
I cannot live with his wife anymore because I'm not sure

(02:48:08):
what I'll do. I'm never gonna try and get
along with her anymore. He listened and was crying and
asked if I would ever get over this.
I told him. No.
And I never wanted to see his wife and walked off because I
was pissed off at what he said and drove back to the coach's
house. He messaged me later.
I acted like a kid and I responded because I am a kid
second, catch up dinner at the coaches house.

(02:48:29):
Second catch up my coach invitedmy dad to have dinner and hang
with me. My coach has a pool table in his
man cave in a pool. I was excited to hang and catch
up with my dad even after our last Meetup because I was
feeling a bit better. But at the same time I was
feeling anxious about the Meetup.
Like I had a bad gut feeling butI ignored it.
Dinner went great and me, Dad and Coach had fun playing pool

(02:48:50):
later on that night. The coach gave us space to talk.
Dad talked about, my mom and me,as a kid just things he would
tell me when I was a kid and it was just me and him.
It was fun and I really enjoyed our time together when it was
time to go home, I offered to drop him off since he drank, but
he said, his wife was here to pick him up, so I hugged him and
he went, I kind of stayed in thegarage and waited for her to

(02:49:11):
leave. So I could walk in the house but
I heard her say how's the littleshit and I bolted out the door
and told her to fuck off. Boy was I not ready for the
slap, my dad gave me but all I remember was swinging a punch at
him and knocking him down and mycoach pulling me off my dad, my
coach told my dad and his wife to leave.
After they left, I told my coach, I never wanted to see him
again and texted my dad. We were done.

(02:49:32):
It doesn't end there last week, I plan to not go to school on
Friday and go for a drive up, the line with a few teammates,
to just, get away from everything, they ended up
bailing. So I went by myself I ended up
driving to a lake and parking upand just chilling for the school
day and just driving back home. Later on when I got home at my
coach's house, I saw my dad's car parked in the driveway and

(02:49:53):
thought I would have to square up with my dad.
When I parked up, my Dad ran outthe house and looked like shit.
He looked like he cried for daysand he started hitting my car
screaming to get out the car andtell him where I was the whole
day. I thought he was mad that I
wagged school. So he ripped the door open and
hug me so hard and cried. I had no idea what was happening
or what he was saying, but all Icould understand was I'm sorry

(02:50:13):
and I love you. After what felt like forever.
He kind of calmed me down and I asked him why he was here.
And then, he told me, there was an accident with a kid getting
hit by a train and it clicked. My dad thought it was me.
He said when he heard the news, he called the school and they
said, I was a no-show and calledeveryone.
He could think of my mate said, I went for a drive somewhere but
didn't know where and my dad said he lost it.

(02:50:36):
He calmed down eventually and said he would divorce his wife
if I wanted him to. But I told him he needed to
choose that for himself because the reason I stayed quiet was to
make him happy if he is unhappy to make a choice for himself
because I don't want to be the reason he is unhappy and that.
Now I have to look after myself and that is getting away from
her and he cried and just said more sorry.

(02:50:58):
He ended up sleeping over in thesame room as me that night in
the night after because I think he was scared and just trying to
deal, I was okay with it and coached allowed it.
He left after the weekend to sort himself out back at his
home. I told him that where I am is
good for me and to not worry andthat I'll turn off.
Do not disturb on my phone so I could see texts.
That's pretty much it really, I don't know what my dad is going

(02:51:19):
to decide to do with his wife, but I am definitely not ever
going to associate with her everin the foreseeable future.
I love my dad too much to stop seeing him but he knows my
boundary since I've set them out.
Clear as day and he knows as much as I love him, I will cut
him off if I feel like, it's notfor me.
I'm moving past. What happened between me and my
dad's wife for me because I'm tired of letting her beat me in

(02:51:41):
my mind. So I just gotta work on myself.
I'm currently happy staying withmy coach and his wife.
They have been amazing and have shown me so much love.
They have awesome kids who I have met and they have invited
me to their family Christmas. I feel bad that I feel anxious
when I'm around the coach's wife, but I'm working on it with
my therapist and I have a good support system.
I know I want to go to university, but not sure if I

(02:52:01):
want to study Commerce or law, but I know I am on track with my
studies. I just can't afford to skip
school anymore. Thank you to everyone who sent
messages of support and reached out to share your experiences.
You all gave me the strength to believe, I could get out of this
mess and be okay. And if you ever feel down that
there is help out there for you,no matter where you are in life.
I'm glad I shared on Reddit because I've learned so much

(02:52:22):
about me and many things. I won't forget and teach to my
kids. Now I got to go school, take
care and cheers. Opie posted in mom for a minute,
on September 2722 about turning 18.
Can't repost from the sub. I hate that my current reality
is that I don't have people, I can rely on right now in my
life. I am trying to do the best to
survive and better my current situation.

(02:52:44):
I've had so much happened to me this year and I feel like I
can't afford to take time for myself to catch a break or else.
I'll lose what I currently have which is not much.
I know I'm young and have so much to look forward to but it's
hard like so hard to want to carry on when so much.
Shit is going wrong. I'm trying to find a place to
stay, even in a flatmate situation, to be more
independent but I can barely afford anything.

(02:53:06):
My job offered me a better paying position at the expense
of a full-time job and even though I would love more money,
that means I will have to give up my dream to go University.
I know many people have had worse situations and honestly I
don't know how they found the will and help they got.
It really feels like the world just hates me and I know I'm
feeling sorry for myself but I honestly giving up hope What can
I get the family I'm staying with for Christmas.

(02:53:28):
I 18mm feeling different about catching up with my dad, 42
male. I 18 male have a strained
relationship with my dad, 42 male A lot has happened this
year between us and it really ruined our relationship.
He was my best friend would be there for my Rugby matches and
push me to do my best earlier this year.
I had a Fallout with my stepmom and my dad, which caused me to

(02:53:50):
move out of my home. And in, with my coach 37, men
who I call Uncle. I have been here ever since We
did try to mend our relationship, but harsh words,
were exchanged. And I stopped reaching out and
focused on passing my exams. I have worked hard on myself by
working at my job and helping out at the place.
I'm staying I have made some sort of piece about my situation
and focused on my future. Now my dad reached out last

(02:54:13):
night to meet up with him to hang and we planned it for next
year on the 4th of Jan. I agreed.
And that was that. My uncle talked to me about what
me and my dad spoke about he waskind of worried about my
feelings, about meeting my dad because of my feelings towards
the day. I explained the best I could, is
that I just feel indifferent about my dad right now, I am not
excited or scared about this meeting, I just see it as a

(02:54:34):
date. I'll be seeing him and that's
it. Whether we meet up or not, I'm
not bothered by it at all. My uncle and his wife care, a
lot and have done so much for me.
So I care about what they say. They think I should have a
reason to meet up with him sinceI haven't spoken to him in a
while. And worry, I could get hurt.
Should I have a different mindset towards catching up with
my dad? Too long, didn't read?

(02:54:55):
Dad plan to catch up next year for me and him we had a Fallout,
so my uncle thinks that I shouldbe feeling something, but I feel
indifferent, a commenter asks how it went?
Okay, this replied took a while because I wasn't ready to share,
but I'm okay for now. My dad turned up with stepmother
and told me that they were having a kid.
Hi congratulated them and we spent time talking about my
future and Dad telling me he canpay for my university studies as

(02:55:17):
long as I keep my grades up, we spoke about a lot and then we
said our goodbyes and I left I wasn't able to drive home
because I started crying and hadto call my uncle to come.
Pick me up. It's been a few weeks since the
meeting and now I'm not sure about my feelings about
everything, but focusing on getting ready for uni.
So I'm working a lot more. My uncle and I are planning to
go check out his other house. That was affected by floods, so

(02:55:39):
that's something to look forwardto because I need a change of
scenery. Thanks for checking on me, it
means a lot, you'll do well op. Go out there and be successful.
For yourself, your uncle and wife are really a gem.
That's a couple you need to return the favor or loved one
day. So have you decided?
What major you will do in uni. Op most definitely, they are

(02:56:01):
honestly the best support I have.
And I am forever grateful to them, both for sharing their
home, family, and Love. Sometimes I wonder why they do
it. And they always remind me, it's
because they care and love me, which means a lot for uni.
I'm going for a bachelor's in Commerce, majoring in commercial
law in accounting, very excited about it.
And looking forward to it, it will take some years but that's

(02:56:21):
okay for me right now. The father is not leaving the
stepmom and OPI is working to move forward.
I'm flaring. This concluded.
My parents tried to screw over my dying stepmother.
Blew up all of our Lives. Instead, my 17 female stepmother
Jane is a wonderful wonderful woman.
She and my father got married when I was four and she's been a

(02:56:43):
rock in my life ever. Since my mother was always my
primary caregiver. But up until that point her
relationship with my father was acrimonious and I basically
never saw him. Jane was the reason they
developed a stable co-parenting relationship.
She encouraged everyone to have a good relationship with each
other and was always there to support me and my mom when
things got rough. Jane was always a really hard

(02:57:04):
worker when she met my dad. He was living out of a hotel and
my mother was doing everything in her power to keep me away
from him because she was petty and angry that their
relationship didn't work out. Meanwhile Jane had a great job,
a nice house, helped my dad, getback on his feet.
Negotiated a visitation schedulewith my mom, who hated her for a
long time. And made sure my dad sent us

(02:57:25):
money every week because neitherone of them could have afford an
attorney to negotiate child support payments.
Jane had no reason to do any of these things, but as I got
older, she made it clear that she loved me as much as she
loved my half-brothers who were born a few years later.
I even have my own room in her house because at the time we
lived with my grandparents, Various boyfriends of my mom and
Jane felt that I needed a more stable environment than that.

(02:57:48):
She's like the opposite of the evil stepmom.
When I was 15, Jane won a big lawsuit against an airline
company and got awarded upwards of a million dollars.
She used the money to build sizable, trust funds for me and
my brothers so that we would be taking care of later in life.
Despite having a lot more money.She still wanted to live a
fairly modest life. So she paid off the house she
has and has been living there ever since with my dad.

(02:58:10):
Sure, she bought a new car and they went on a few nice
vacations but she didn't blow all her money on stupid things,
which I respected about a year ago.
Things started getting really weird whenever I saw Jane, she
seemed to look sicker and sickerbut no one would tell me or my
brother's why even though I knewthey knew All knew is that she
was at the hospital. A lot around the same time, my

(02:58:30):
mom has been coming around my dad, a lot more and acting
really strange. Basically, like she was trying
to romance him. Whenever Jane was in the
hospital, my mother would insiston spending the night at their
house and playing mom to my brothers, which was so weird to
me because she never liked them or Jane.
She'd be the perfect little housewife and my mom is not like
that at all. It was super fake.

(02:58:50):
Worst of all my dad started falling for it.
I'm not stupid. I'm pretty sure they were
sleeping together. I tried to Shield my brother's
from it, but they're not dumb either.
I tried talking to my dad too, but he insisted it wasn't like
that. Then a few weeks ago, my mom
started talking about all the places she'd like to visit how
she wanted a new car and was looking to invest, which is

(02:59:12):
weird because my mom has been a bartender, her whole life and
has lived paycheck to paycheck since before I was born.
She was acting like she was about to get a lot of money
which started to make me really suspicious between Jane, being
sick and my mom acting all Nouveau riche.
I had a lot of questions finally, I decided to visit Jane
in the hospital and ask her about my trust fund.
I found out that if anything happened to her, that my dad

(02:59:34):
would inherit all the money including full control of the
trust for me and my brothers. She asked me, why?
I was so interested in the trustfund.
So I told her what's going on with my parents and how my mom
has been acting with my dad? I didn't want to, but after
everything she did for me she deserved the truth.
It really hurt me to break her heart like that.
Especially once I found out thatshe was basically in Hospice at

(02:59:55):
this point because of irreversible kidney failure.
She's only got a few more months.
We both cried so much then two days ago, everything came to a
head. My mom stormed in Furious and
started arguing with my dad. Apparently Jane met with her
lawyer and changed the trust so that my dad would get nothing.
And all of the trust, would be controlled by my stepdad.
She demanded to know how Jane found out about their

(03:00:17):
relationship and I came out and told them that I told Jane
everything. I told them that if they wanted
to play stupid games, they wouldwin stupid prizes.
And that I wasn't going to let them screw Jane over after, all
the help she gave my family whenshe didn't have to.
My mom slapped me and my dad just looked so defeated.
Then my mom told my dad, that she didn't really love him that
she was just pretending to. So, he would marry her and she

(03:00:37):
could get all of the money. The worst part about it is that
my brother's witnessed the wholething.
And now on top of their mom dying, they have to deal with a
cheating dad and his vindictive,ex our whole family is in Ruins,
and I feel like it's my fault. Even though I know it's not
Yesterday, I visited Jane again and told her about the Fallout,
she apologized and said that shehad to dissolve.
My trust fund to make sure my mother didn't get a hold of the

(03:00:59):
money, but that has her oldest. I will inherit the house
property. After she is gone, and that's
worth more than the other two, trust funds combined.
My father won't get anything because she's going to divorce
him before she dies. And honestly, I'm happy for her.
She made me promise to take careof my brothers and told me that
once I turn 18 this summer, I can kick my dad out of the house
if I want to. And I fully plan to do that BTW.

(03:01:22):
I haven't talked to my dad sinceand I can't even look at my mom.
I can't believe they would conspire to do this to Jane
after all this time, just prove that they deserve each other and
I'm embarrassed that my parents Once I turn 18, I'm going to cut
my dad out as much as I can. And cut my mom out completely.
I hope she writes. Meanwhile, I'm going to try and
be at the hospital as much as I can until Jane passes away.

(03:01:45):
Anyways, I just needed to vent. I'm really messed up about the
whole thing and I feel super betrayed although I can't even
begin to imagine how Jane feels.I'm gonna be so effed up when
she dies. I can't even think about that
right now. But at least she's not
surrounded by people who just want to bring her down.
Thanks for reading. Edit.
Some people are asking a lot of the same stuff.

(03:02:06):
So, I'll just clarify here. My brothers, my plan is to use
some of the estate money to fight for guardianship for my
twin brothers, so that they can live in the house while I kick
my dad out. If I can't get guardianship,
then I will have to let my dad stay in the house.
However, once I turn 18, I will technically be an adult.
So, even if my dad leaves, I'm still legally able to be
responsible for them. The only thing I won't be able

(03:02:27):
to do is stop him from taking them if he leaves, but they will
be 18 and 6 years. So even if they do have to
leave, they will always be able to come back whenever they want
in a perfect world. My dad would just leave and let
my brother stay with me, which I'm sure.
My bio mom would be very supportive of because right now,
she hates all of us and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
The Trust, From what I understand, my brother's will

(03:02:48):
inherit one three each of the estate and the remaining one
three will be used to keep the house running until they turn
18. After that, it will be up to me
if I want to keep the house or sell it at that point, my
brother's will still have money left in the trust, so they can
Branch out or do whatever they want.
Otherwise, I will not sell the house in just pass it on to them
or keep it and maintain it myself.
And they can just stay with me as long as they need to edit to

(03:03:10):
the edit. So I just spoke to Jane and she
told me that the reason she dissolved the trust is because
originally it was going to be split 3x between us kids and my
dad would inherit the house. She dissolved, my third and
switched it over to make it to take care of the house
maintenance and instead put the house in my name so my dad
wouldn't get it plus by doing that at least financially, I
would be getting a much bigger. Share the house is worth about

(03:03:32):
1.5 wax. The amount of my brother's
trusts I just wouldn't be able to do anything with it until my
brothers are 18, which I'm totally cool with.
Sorry if I don't have a better answer, but I'm just trying to
translate what she told me. My parents, the big fight
happened on Sunday and I haven'tspoken to either of my parents
since I think they're both at mymom's place right now, but
that's fine with us because we're all still mad at them, so

(03:03:54):
they can stay gone for all week care.
I know technically that's not legal to just leave us alone,
but I've been taking care of my brothers for over a year.
I can handle a few days while hegets his shit together.
Screw both of them. Hope that clears some stuff up.
Too long, didn't read, my bio parents tried to screw my
terminally ill, stepmother out of trust fund money, but she

(03:04:16):
caught on and now no one on my side of the family gets
anything. Additional information from OPI
on her, parents stepmoms Health,trust funds.
Opie answer. Why isn't Jane on dialysis?
I don't remember the exact details, but Jane has a genetic
condition where she gets cysts on her kidney.
She already had a transplant a few years ago but now she

(03:04:36):
developed problems with her arteries or something in her
legs. So she doesn't qualify for
dialysis. She could get another transplant
but she doesn't want to because the last time was so traumatic,
rejections, Etc. So she decided to just let
herself go on to maintenance medications to prolong her death
until she gets her Affairs in order.
She has a few other health problems that make the typical

(03:04:57):
treatments really dangerous. And according to her, she'd
rather die surrounded by loved ones than on an operating table.
Dissolving the trust fund. Jane told me she didn't
technically have to do it but she didn't trust my bio parents,
not to do something shady and get a hold of the money.
Before I turn 18, even if my aunt controlled the fund, my dad
would still be able to collect if something happened to Jane

(03:05:17):
before I turned 18. Her lawyer suggested, its better
safe than sorry. And I agreed that it was the
best option. I'm not an expert, though.
I don't know the details, how mymom knew, like I said before,
I'm pretty sure Jane told my dadwho then told my mom and that's
how the argument started, I can't think of any other way.
And I didn't really care enough to ask Jane's thoughts on my

(03:05:38):
mom. She didn't know, my mom was
doing all of that. My mom has her own place and
would only come over whenever Jane was in the hospital for a
few days at a time. I've been living with my dad for
a little over a year. So he probably told Jane that my
mom was there to spend time withme if he told her at all.
Besides she didn't move in untila few months ago, which I guess

(03:05:58):
is when they started hatching their plan.
Jane, never outright banned my mom from visiting.
So there really wasn't anything she could do.
Hope that helps edit for the last part, the remainder of the
money belonging to the estate that hasn't been put into trust
for my brothers, is going to be used to maintain the house,
utilities taxes, Etc. Until my brothers are 18 and
then I can either choose to sellthe house or keep it and

(03:06:20):
maintain it myself. If I'm able to, I plan to go to
school in that time and get a better job with the goal of
keeping the house. But if I can't, then I have the
option to sell it, not that I will, but that's how it was
explained to me. Opie on her stepmom and their
relationship provides thoughts on her.
Bio mom, op answer honestly. It's because she's more of a
real mom than my actual mom. My bio mom is kind of ambiguous

(03:06:43):
about my existence but Jane was always extra involved.
Sending me to sports teams and paying for dance classes and
just showing interest in my hobbies as I got older plus as
the only girl, I think we bondedon a level she can't with my
brother. So she always made sure to let
me know I was on equal terms with them when I was younger we
would watch movies and have girltime where it was just us
one-one. And those are some of my best

(03:07:04):
memories with her. Jane is also really mature.
And someone I want to be like when I get older, where is it
feels like my mom is a teenager in an adult's body.
She was constantly picking fights with my dad about dumb
things and Jane was always thereto smooth things over and keep
my best interest at heart, over her own feelings.
I know my mom made Jane's life really difficult for a long time

(03:07:24):
but Jane never complained or said anything to me about it.
Whereas my mom constantly complained about Jane as I got
older I just always felt more atpeace when I was Around Jane.
And when I was around my mom, ifyou want your step kids to love
you, just be there for them and treat them like your own ignore,
whatever drama you have with your husband's ex and just love
your kids. Trust me, if you really care
about them, they will know relevant comments.

(03:07:47):
Commenter. My only advice is make sure you
work with a lawyer once she passes.
So you get your inheritance and your parents can't try to
intervene and then you keep yourpromise to use that money for
you and your brothers welfare. Opie answer.
Oh, absolutely. Jane already gave me the lawyers
info in between him and my step Aunt.
I'm sure I will be able to do what I need to do for them.
I don't even care about the money.

(03:08:08):
Most people don't have trust funds and turn out just fine.
I'm actually more glad that she gave me the house because you
can be damn sure. It's going to be a safe space
for my brothers. Whether I end up getting custody
of them or not. My brothers are basically Jane's
Legacy. So my goal is to give them the
life and guidance that I got from her and that they won't
get, because she'll be gone. Op on the relationship between

(03:08:30):
her father and her stepmom before they got exposed Opie
answer. Honestly, it hurts a lot because
before Jane got sick, they seemed to have the perfect
relationship until my birth giver.
I like that came in and fucked, everything up with her toxic
personality. Honestly, in a perfect world.
My mom will end up broke and alone, and in a shity nursing
home with bed sores. And when she calls me and begs

(03:08:51):
me for a relationship because she needs the attention, It'll
feel so good to hang up on her over and over again.
Opie on Jane stepmoms health andif Jane is mentally, okay on the
whole situation, op answer. I think so.
Apparently it's a genetic disease so she always knew she
was going to get sick. She just didn't know when so
mentally. I think she was prepared for it.

(03:09:13):
I just hope that she can find peace knowing the truth and
knowing that I'll be there to make sure her sons.
Don't grow up all fucked up. Opie on her brothers, getting
therapy to deal with their mom stepmoms health and her
imminent, death Opie answer. Yeah, I've already sat them down
and talked to them about what's going on.
They seem to understand but they're understandably.
Really sad about the whole thing.

(03:09:34):
I told them that when they go toschool, they should ask about a
grief counselor and I'm trying to get their health insurance
info from Jane, so I can find them a therapist for kids.
As much as all of this sucks. I think it's brought the three
of us a lot closer together. Thanks a lot.
I really love my brothers and I know it's my job to take care of
them properly. Now, that they won't have a mom
around Jane did so much to raiseme and my brothers won't have

(03:09:56):
the opportunity. So it's only right that I helped
them since finding all of this out, my plan has always been to
have my brother's live with me. I'm already in charge of taking
care of them and the house for the most part, the only thing my
dad does is help pay the bills. Unfortunately, I won't be able
to kick my dad out. As long as he is their legal
guardian, which is why I'm trying to find some other
solution to that. But if when that gets resolved,

(03:10:16):
he can live under a bridge for all I care update Please check
my profile for my previous post.Hi guys, it's me again.
A lot of you asked me for an update on my situation with Jane
and my family. So, I've come back with a few
things that have happened since I initially posted.
I will try to organize this in away that addresses, the major
points of last time, Jane is still alive and doing

(03:10:37):
surprisingly. Well, considering the
circumstances, she's always beena fighter.
And although, her disease has been progressing, she's keeping
a positive attitude with everything that is going on.
She says, she's grateful that she was able to see everyone's
true colors before she passed. So she could go into the next
life knowing the truth. We have become so unbelievably
close in the past few months andit's getting harder and harder

(03:10:58):
to know that she's getting closeto the end.
She doesn't ever talk about it though and I know it's because
she doesn't want to hurt me, butwe both know the situation, so
we're just making the best of our time.
I'm also not being completely transparent about all of the
drama at home, but TBH, I don't think she needs to hear all of
that. We did end up having that
surprise celebration of life that I planned a lot more people

(03:11:18):
showed up than I thought but they all got an Airbnb near the
hospital where Jane is and we were able to take her out and
spend some time at the lake nearthe facility.
It was super low-key which I know, Jane preferred and I was
even able to get her old collegefriend to come after I found him
on LinkedIn. LOL, we had food and there was
music and we played games and itwas overall a really great time.

(03:11:38):
Except Jane started crying at the end, but she promised me it
was just because she was grateful.
My brothers are also doing okay.My Aunt Jane's sister is
currently paying for them to go to therapy and they've become a
lot more open about talking about the situation.
They just turned 13, but a lot. Of the time.
It feels like I'm talking to actual adults, LOL, they've
become really independently in agood way.

(03:11:59):
And aside from me, driving them places, I don't really have to
do much for them anymore. Their grades aren't super great
but they're not failing. And considering the
circumstances, it could be a lotworse.
They still hang out with friendsand I'm keeping an eye out for
like depression symptoms and stuff.
The situation with my mom is as funny as it is.
Embarrassing, TBH. She spent a few weeks ignoring
us, and then she tried to crawl back into my life, basically

(03:12:21):
begging me to let her move in because her lease is about to
expire. And she has nowhere to go that
convo went about as well as you think.
And she ended up calling me an ungrateful, bitch.
And that I couldn't just ignore her because she's my mom.
I told her to get out of the house before I call the cops and
to go back to my dad, who at that point was only coming home
every few days to check on us, and grab some clothes.
After that, she tried coming by a few times.

(03:12:44):
And when I wouldn't open the door, she would lose her mind
and start yelling through the neighborhood.
After three instances of this, Ifinally called the cops but
because I'm 17 they told me there's a possibility that I
would have to go home with her since technically.
I'm a minor and need to be with the custodial parent.
I told them, no way because I was the only one watching my
brother's ATM. That led to a whole thing where

(03:13:05):
after a few hours, my dad basically showed up and I was
allowed to stay there because there was finally, an adult
present and I basically lived there for over a year.
After that, the cops firmly toldmy mom that if she keeps showing
up and causing drama my neighbor's confirmed that she'd
been there a few times screamingthat they would arrest her for
trespassing, since technically it was Jane's house, and not
hers, she left and hasn't. Tried coming to the house

(03:13:27):
anymore, but for a while she would call me constantly telling
me I owed her and all kinds of stuff.
She is now blocked on everythingin anything she needs to say to
me gets filtered through my dad.As for my dad.
Well, since he's basically required to be here for another
two months until I turn 18, we've basically just avoided
each other. It's not too bad though because
I've been heavily relying on guilting him for everything to

(03:13:48):
get my way. For example, he was going to
contest the divorce but I threatened to kick him out when
I turn 18, if he does that. So he just signed all the
paperwork for a quickie divorce and is basically doing whatever
Jane tells him to do. I don't openly disrespect him or
anything, he still my dad but I've made it clear that I have
no intentions on doing anything he says ever again and he
doesn't fight me on it. Most of the time, he's just in

(03:14:10):
his room and sometimes he'll go back to my mom's, but only for a
day or two before they argue andshe kicks him out again Lowell.
I haven't decided whether or notI'll kick him out yet and we
haven't talked about it either, so I'm kind of playing it by
ear. As for me, I'm handling
everything as good as I can. I found a new job where I make a
little more money. So I have been focusing on
saving as much as I can and justbeing there for my brothers.

(03:14:31):
Between working and school and visiting Jane.
I've been so busy, I haven't really had time to really stop
and think about everything. But I know it'll come one of my
friends is really stepped up andhelped me manage everything, and
I'm super grateful to him for being there for me and my
brothers. So we'll see how that goes.
Anyways, I wish I had something more exciting to share, but
that's what's happened since my last post.
Thanks again for all the supporton my last post relevant

(03:14:55):
comments, op on the possibility of her stepmom being poisoned
from her parents to get Jane's money, Opie answer.
Hi there. A few people have mentioned this
and yes, we are. Absolutely certain she is not
being poisoned, it's a genetic disease causing her kidney
failure and we have known about it for a long time, but she
shielded us from the worst of it.
Hence, why her sudden decline inhealth was such a shock to us.

(03:15:16):
We thought she had more time. My brothers have also been
screened for this disease and thankfully neither of them have
it edit to add. I'm turning 18 in a few weeks so
I don't need to get emancipated.And my dad has already agreed.
That my brothers will stay in the house with me because they
have nowhere else to go op on Jane making video clips for her
brothers. Op answer.

(03:15:36):
Yes. Actually, a few people suggested
this in my last post and we havebeen doing this for a few weeks.
Now, Jane has a little digital recorder that she has been
putting her thoughts down on andshe is so written a few letters
to us for major Milestones. My brother's do not know about
this as we want to surprise them, but that said they have
been coming to the hospital morenow that they're in therapy and
able to deal with it. I know they do not want to have

(03:15:58):
any regrets even though it's a difficult situation.
Sister-in-law hated me for years, had a tragic miscarriage.
Then we welcomed her back but she told my child, she was his
real mom. My sister-in-law despised me for
years but after she suffered a tragic miscarriage we welcomed
her back into our lives. Unfortunately, she began telling

(03:16:19):
my child that she was his real mother David and I have been
happily married for eight years and we have a four year old son
named Tom Tom is a lively imaginative kid, very attached
to me and a bit of a mama's boy I cherish this Bond knowing that
as he grows older his interests will change and he might not
want to spend as much time with me David and I make a great team

(03:16:41):
managing our home, raising Tom and pursuing our careers
seamlessly this harmony stems from David's respectful.
And communicative nature, which has fostered a strong
partnership between us. However, despite our smooth
sailing, there's an ongoing issue with David's sister Kathy,
from the very beginning Kathy has been difficult to get along
with maintaining a cold attitudetowards me.

(03:17:02):
David, had warned me early on that while his parents would
likely accept me, Kathy would betough due to her protective
nature. He was right when We first met
Kathy, bombarded me with questions about my background,
all the while acting unimpressedand condescending.
She would also bring up David's Exes in our conversations,
comparing them to me as if it were normal during one dinner.

(03:17:23):
She even suggested David joined her.
And her friends on a girl's tripclaiming, he needed to clear his
head before committing to me, this remark annoyed, me and
David noticed asking her to backoff.
Politely this brings me to a point of contention with my
husband while he does defend me.His affection for Kathy
sometimes prevents him from setting firm boundaries this
emboldens her to keep pushing believing.

(03:17:44):
She has his best interests at heart simply because she's the
older sister from that first, dinner date, I knew Kathy and I
didn't like each other. It stung a bit but I wasn't
about to bend over backward to win her over.
If she had already made up her mind, despite this I always
remain polite during our encounters though.
She never made it easy. One incident that stands out is
David's. Grandparents anniversary party.

(03:18:05):
The entire family was invited and I attended as David's plus,
one since we'd been dating for ayear by then, Throughout the
party I enjoyed chatting with his friendly and easygoing
family. The one person who completely
ignored me was Kathy. I noticed, and tried to stay out
of her way. When everyone gathered for a
group photo. Kathy loudly pointed me out
demanding. I step out of the picture, She

(03:18:28):
suggested David might break up with me and didn't want one of
her brothers. Bimbos in the family photo, I
was mortified as everyone aroundus looked uncomfortable.
David tried to argue but Kathy kept interrupting saying I was
just a random stranger and shouldn't have been at the
party. Humiliated, I excused myself to
find my car keys. Determined not to spend another
minute near her David and his parents followed me.

(03:18:49):
Apologizing, profusely his mother tried to persuade me to
return, but the moment was ruined.
I heard his grandparents scolding Kathy.
Making me feel even guiltier forspoiling the day.
I left immediately considering breaking up with David thinking.
I couldn't handle his sister's behavior.
However, David showed up at my place later with flowers and
pastries apologizing, sincerely,he told me everyone had

(03:19:12):
reprimanded, Kathy for her rudeness and he had threatened
to cut ties with her, which madeher cry, David expressed his
frustration with his sister's Antics.
And reassured me, he didn't wantanything to do with her anymore.
We had a long talk, and I felt comforted by his support in the
Following days, David kept his promise, we stopped seeing Kathy
altogether and he ignored her calls.

(03:19:33):
When she showed up, unannounced at his house, he changed the
locks and asked his parents to talk to her about respecting,
his privacy, with his parents support.
Kathy had no choice. But to accept that, her brother
wanted nothing to do with her. We hope this would make her
reconsider her behavior, but it had the opposite effect.
Kathy started calling, and texting me, leaving threatening
messages, and blaming me for everything.

(03:19:54):
The breaking point. Came when Kathy showed up at my
workplace, one afternoon demanding to see me thankfully,
my manager intervened in kicked her out, but the incident left
me. Deeply shaken.
I told David that I had no choice but to break up with him
to escape his sister's harassment, and consider, taking
legal action against her. David was devastated, pleading
with me, not to end our relationship and promising he

(03:20:15):
would handle the situation. David then convinced his parents
to arrange a meeting with Kathy,at their home.
During this confrontation, his parents fully aware of what
Kathy had been doing. Made it clear, they wanted
nothing to do with her unless she changed her behavior.
They all warned Kathy that her actions were borderline crazy
and if she continued, they wouldsupport my decision to take
legal action. Miraculously Kathy, finally

(03:20:38):
broke down and admitted she needed help.
She confessed to feeling out of control and revealed.
She had lost her job and had been unemployed for months.
Worsening, her mental state David's parents, took immediate
action admitting her to a psychiatric hospital where she
could be monitored. David reiterated that he did not
wish to maintain contact with her, which Kathy reluctantly
accepted. She sent me an apology text that

(03:21:00):
felt somewhat insincere but I hope for her sake that she would
heal when David and I finally married we chose not to invite
Kathy even though she had been discharged and seemed to be
doing better. I wanted nothing to do with her
and everyone respected. My decision, Kathy did send
flowers to congratulate us whichI appreciated after we returned
from our honeymoon, Kathy announced her engagement it

(03:21:22):
surprised everyone as no one knew she had been dating.
We were cautiously happy for heruntil we learned.
She was marrying a man. She met in the psychiatric
hospital. This man, James was
schizophrenic and an alcoholic with violent tendencies.
According to his doctors understandably, David and
Kathy's parents were concerned, Kathy planned, her wedding for
the following month and only invited David.

(03:21:43):
Excluding me while I wasn't surprised and felt relieved not
to have to make an excuse, Davidwas offended by the exclusion
and chose not to attend. Those who did attend the wedding
later told us. It was a disaster, Kathy and
James were heavily intoxicated during the ceremony and couldn't
even And properly, repeat the vows.
After the priest during the reception, James continued
drinking until he was blackout drunk.

(03:22:04):
Then started, ripping open his shirt and pants.
While everyone watched in horror, being schizophrenic,
James didn't like the attention and suddenly attacked a server.
Accusing, the innocent bystanderof looking suspicious and hiding
something, his family managed tocalm him down and paid off the
server to avoid pressing chargesthis incident, deeply scarred,
everyone, raising serious concerns about Kathy's safety.

(03:22:25):
If James could attack a stranger, what was to stop him
from attacking Kathy David. And his parents tried to talk to
Kathy about her husband's Disturbing Behavior.
But she was convinced, she couldchange him despite their
warnings. Kathy believe James would never
harm her. Unfortunately, she was wrong
over the years. James isolated, her cutting off
contact with family and preventing her from seeking help

(03:22:47):
though, there were instances of police being called due to their
violent arguments, Kathy refusedto leave him convinced, he was
the one for her, four years ago,I became pregnant with Tom and
we were all overjoyed. I wanted Kathy to be part of my
baby shower so we sent her an invitation when we received no
reply, David drove to her place to check on her.
He discovered that James had cuther off from any communication

(03:23:10):
with us, and thrown away the invitation David confronted
James, but, Kathy, defended, herhusband refusing to see his
wrongdoing, Frustrated, David left.
And we lost contact with her. Even after Tom was born, we did
not reach out and her parents eventually stopped trying to
convince her hoping she would be.
Okay. The past few years, with Tom
have been peaceful and full of love David.

(03:23:31):
And I have found a wonderful rhythm in our marriage and Tom
keeps us busy with his curiosity.
David's parents visit every weekend to babysit while we have
our date night, allowing us sometime off and giving the
grandparents quality time with Tom, everything was going well
until eight months ago when Kathy, showed up at our
doorstep, muddy and disheveled with no shoes on WE immediately
let her in and I fetched her a blanket as she was shivering.

(03:23:53):
We hadn't seen her in years and were at a loss for words, David
comforted her asking, if she was, okay, Kathy looked numb
staring into space, eventually. She revealed that she had just
miscarried we listened in shock as she recounted how she had
gotten pregnant a month ago initially believing.
James would be happy. However, he grew increasingly

(03:24:13):
paranoid fearing the baby would take her away from him.
They fought frequently. And he even threatened to poison
her food to cause a miscarriage that day.
She woke up, feeling uneasy and at the doctors, she found out.
She had lost the baby numb and sick.
She couldn't drive home. So she walked eventually ending
up at our house. She must have walked at least 20

(03:24:34):
blocks Barefoot, but she couldn't remember why she had no
shoes on. I felt so sorry for her
immediately gave her a hug At first.
She hesitated, but then she hugged me back, we sat there for
five whole minutes as Kathy cried into my arms.
We knew then that this was her way of asking for help, David
seemed ready to confront James directly, but I convinced him to

(03:24:54):
call the police and notify, their parents, who were better
equipped to handle the situation.
His parents were incredibly grateful to have their daughter
back and assured her of their unwavering support.
When the police took her statement, they were as shocked
as we were by the abuse Kathy had.
Endured James was arrested despite his protests and threats
continually denying his involvement in her miscarriage.

(03:25:14):
However, Kathy's toxicology report revealed, she had been
poisoned leading to the loss of her baby in the end, due to
James's, mental issues and his incompetence to stand trial.
The judge sentenced him to an indefinite stay in a psychiatric
facility for treatment. Although this was frustrating,
we were grateful to have Kathy back Safe and Sound by.
Then all my previous animosity towards her Advantage, as a

(03:25:37):
woman, I felt immense sympathy for her and wanted to move past
our history to help her heal Kathy, also seemed calmer and no
longer hostile towards me. When we felt, she was ready.
We introduced Tom to her, hopingit would Aid her recovery.
She grew very close to Tom in a short time which none of us
minded initially. This should have been my first
red flag over the weeks. She found ways to spend more and

(03:25:59):
more time. With my son, often showing up
unexpectedly at our house staying with her and David's,
parents, made it easy for her todrive over unannounced.
She insisted on giving Tom bathsand reading his bedtime stories
gestures that initially seemed kind, but gradually felt
intrusive Kathy's. Increasing presence started to
feel odd, she visited almost daily staying longer than
necessary, bringing toys, and gifts for Tom, and always

(03:26:22):
seeking involvement in his dailyroutines.
She would comment on his clothesor hairstyle, suggesting how Tom
would look better. Which bothered me while I
appreciated her efforts to bond with Tom, it began to feel like
she was undermining me again this time through my son, my
maternal instincts kicked in. And I talked to David, he
assured me that I might be overthinking, and that his

(03:26:42):
sister was just trying to cope with her pain.
He reminded me of her, recent loss, making me feel guilty.
I decided to let her be thinking.
If taking care of Tom made her happy, what was the harm as days
went on? I tried my best to accommodate
her constant presence. She started looking after Tom
Daley, while we were at work andeven took him to the park in the
evenings. Sometimes, when I came home, I

(03:27:04):
noticed that my son no longer greeted me with the same
enthusiasm, he wouldn't run up to me.
And instead looked at me with curiosity, after Kathy left, I
would try to talk to Tom about his day and whether he had any
issues with Kathy, but he was less engaged and seemed sad as
his mother, this change in his behavior.
Worried me deeply. However, when I discussed it

(03:27:24):
with my husband, he would gentlydismiss my concerns, assuring
me, that Tom was just growing upand I was overthinking the
nagging feeling persisted so I can fight it in a co-worker who
suggested installing Nanny cams from Amazon and Tom's room and
are living room to monitor him. I thought this was a brilliant
idea and promptly bought two cameras.
I didn't inform David about this.
Not wanting him to dismiss my concerns again.

(03:27:46):
Yesterday after Tom went to bed,I decided to check the nanny
cams while David watched TV downstairs.
I retreated to my study to review the footage, which
included audio initially? It was just Kathy playing and
caring. For Tom appearing, very good
with children. And however, I was shocked when
she pulled a book from her purse.
When I hadn't seen before we usually have age-appropriate

(03:28:09):
books for Tom, but this one was different.
She read the book to Tom before his nap.
As I listened, I realized the story was about adoption and how
a mother sometimes gives her child to another mother to care
for Kathy added her own commentary Telling Tom that this
was why she had left him in my care years ago because she
wasn't ready. Then my eyes widened and horror
as she continued claiming that she would always be as real

(03:28:32):
mother and no one could love himmore than she did.
She kissed his forehead and lefthim to nap.
My hands shook with anger. As I realized what she had been
telling my son causing his strange Behavior.
This poor child must be feeling incredibly confused.
I was ready to confront David and demand that Kathy never be
allowed in our home again, but Iheld back instead I decided to

(03:28:52):
take a day off to spend with Tomand understand what Kathy had
been telling him. When I informed Kathy that she
didn't need to babysit she reacted, anxiously insisting
that she loved spending time with Tom.
I firmly told her to back off wanting a day alone with my
child. David asked if I was okay, and I
reassured him that everything was fine, but that I needed a
break later. I took Tom to his favorite Park

(03:29:14):
and we spent the day playing eating, pizza and laughing.
I wanted him to feel safe before.
Broaching the conversation aboutwhat?
His aunt had been telling him. He got a bit quiet.
I reassured Tom that he wasn't in trouble and that he could
talk to me about anything that'swhen he opened up.
He told me how Kathy had been trying to convince him for weeks
that she was his real mother though.

(03:29:35):
He didn't truly believe it. She also told him that I would
eventually leave him because only real mothers love their
children. Her insistence made him scared
to ask me about it fearing. I might actually kick him out.
He said he loved me and didn't want to go live.
With Kathy hearing, those words broke my heart.
I stared at his tear-streaked face seeing a small and
vulnerable child instead of the joyful and playful, boy, I knew.

(03:29:57):
I knelt down. Gently took his hands and
assured him, that everything would be okay, we would get
through this together. I hugged him tightly feeling the
weight of his fears and pain. I felt like a failure for not
protecting my son from this psycho.
I promised him that he had nothing to worry about, and that
David and I would take care of it.
However, my son, then told me that David already knew about

(03:30:18):
all this, I asked what he meant and he said I asked daddy and he
knows about this, but he told menot to tell you anything, my
blood ran cold, as I realized that my husband, despite knowing
what his sister was up to had chosen to protect her and said
of our son, he knew everything. I couldn't let my son be around
these people anymore. I didn't want him to be confused

(03:30:38):
and frightened about his own mother.
I was his mother and it was my job to protect him from this.
I quickly drove home and packed our bags.
I told my parents we were comingover and that if David asked, we
would say, I missed them and wanted to spend time with them.
Luckily, my parents are very supportive and immediately said,
yes, as I write this, Already explained everything to my

(03:30:58):
parents and they are a shocked as I am about what Kathy has
been telling my son, David did call when he came home to an
empty house, but I tried to sound normal.
Telling him, I needed a break from our place and work.
He sounded curious, but I assured him, I'd stay with my
parents. For just, a few days, we rarely
fight. So I guess he didn't think much
about it, even though, my behavior must have seemed

(03:31:18):
strange to him. I am so conflicted right now.
I have no idea what to do. How should I confront this
situation? Am I the assshole for distancing
my son and me from my husband's crazy sister Update one.
Wow, I woke up to over 600 comments on my post.
I can't believe so many people on Reddit have come across my
story. I used fake names throughout, so

(03:31:40):
hopefully none of David's familymembers will realize, it's about
him to those criticizing me for not talking to my husband.
First, I assure you, I would have if my son hadn't already
tried to talk to David. My mother's instinct told me
that since my husband knew for weeks about our son's changed
behavior. In.
Kept gaslighting me a confrontation with him wouldn't
have been productive. I needed to get my son out of

(03:32:01):
the situation immediately and heis now much safer with my
parents. No one can feed him lies here
and that's all that matters. Kathy has been trying to contact
me sending multiple messages. Insisting.
She needs to see my son and how much she misses him.
I plan to put an end to this at the upcoming family, get
together at David's, parents place this weekend.
This Gathering has been planned for weeks because David's,

(03:32:23):
grandparents are visiting, and Ithought it would be a nice time
to spend together. However, given recent events.
I will use this opportunity to speak my truth and ensure Kathy
stays away from my son. For good update 2, I'm back with
an update. I finally confronted David as
planned during the family get together, I was so nervous
beforehand, but I decided to bring the nanny camera recording

(03:32:44):
as proof to cut to the chase. I called out Kathy in front of
everyone during lunch. She looked shaken and tried to
laugh it off as if it wasn't a big deal.
Then, I showed the nanny, cam footage and explained that I had
recorded what she told. My son, I watched the color
drain from her face. As I sent the video to the
family group chat for everyone to see her parents were
horrified as they watched her try to convince my son that she

(03:33:05):
was his real mommy. Next, I confronted David and
told him how he to protect our son.
My husband looked really guilty,but tried to justify his
actions, saying he didn't think much of it and thought it would
help his sister cope with her grief.
He felt torn between supporting his sister's recovery and
telling me about it, ultimately choosing to keep quiet, I told
him that because of his actions,I no longer trusted him and

(03:33:28):
couldn't let her son be around him or his family.
For the first time in a long while I saw my husband break
down in tears. But I stood firm, I made it
clear that I couldn't let my songrow up in a family, where his
father refused to stand up for him to protect his mentally ill,
sister David and Kathy's parents, and grandparents
apologized to me. And assured me, they would make
sure Kathy stayed away from our son, Kathy looked, utterly

(03:33:50):
humiliated but didn't have the decency to apologize.
David kept trying to justify hisactions but I ignored him.
I left shortly after the confrontation feeling that my
work was done and wanting nothing more to do with any of
them update 3. I see some of you are confused
about my decision, so I wanted to clarify.
Yes, I plan on divorcing, my husband.

(03:34:10):
I know many of you suggested giving David a second chance
since this was an entirely his fault and I agree that he is a
good man. However, being a good man
doesn't automatically make him agood father just because we
never had issues. Doesn't mean he was a good
father to Tom. He should have addressed this
from the beginning when our son came to him with doubts instead
of spending weeks trying to cover it up and gaslighting me

(03:34:31):
both Tom and I can't trust him anymore.
I welcome Kathy back into my life with open arms after what
she went through. Because as a woman, I felt sorry
for her. But in the end she proved why I
never liked her in the first place.
I understand that Kathy's abuse was extremely dramatic, but that
doesn't mean our son should haveto suffer for it.
She is an adult with mental issues and all though, we

(03:34:53):
thought she had improved, she clearly hadn't.
However, what really surprised me was my husband.
The fact that he prioritized hermental well-being, over our sons
shows why he should never be around Tom.
He was always such a supportive husband and I thought I could
trust him but his actions regarding Kathy of showing
otherwise I promise that from now on I will protect my son, no

(03:35:13):
matter what. I am confident I can get full
custody of Tom, if I expose his family history during the
custody battle, My sister tried to seduce my fiance before our
wedding got caught on camera andwas disowned by our parents.
My manipulative narcissistic sister attempted to seduce my
fiance just before our wedding in an effort to break us apart.

(03:35:34):
Fortunately, her actions were caught on camera leading to her
being disowned by our parents. This story revolves around my
older sister Dove 29f who has never been able to tolerate my
existence as she apparently believes, I'm living a life that
I don't deserve Dove. Who is now divorced in jobless
is living with our parents. She had dropped out of college

(03:35:55):
to be with her wealthy boyfriend, who eventually
divorced her when her true nature became apparent growing
up. My relationship with Dove was
far from ideal. She was always the pretty and
smart one full of herself and our parents consistently
showered, her with praise, whichleft me feeling inadequate.
Everyone around us constantly admired.
Her looks while I was often ignored and it hurt deeply Dove

(03:36:16):
used her popularity to mess withmy mind.
Telling me that no one liked me which made me incredibly
insecure. My parents never supported me or
acknowledged my feelings becauseDove always lived up to their
expectations. This led me to distance myself
from them throughout my childhood and teenage years.
Dove frequently had friends overwhen our parents were at work
and they would often mess with my room on one occasion, they

(03:36:38):
even ruined a school project of mine, nearly causing me to fail
when I threatened to tell Mom about it dub.
Blackmail, me saying she would share embarrassing pictures of
me with my classmates at just 14years old.
I was terrified, Dove never tookresponsibility for her actions
and it was pointless to tell my parents because they never paid
attention to me. My mom never had my back.

(03:36:59):
Although my dad would occasionally called Dove out.
For instance, One time she used my phone to send strange
pictures to my friends. After I'd complain to Dad about
her another time. She spilled coffee on my prom
dress and then played the victim, crying and claiming.
It was an accident after that I stopped confiding in him
altogether. I never really understood why
she harbored so much hatred towards me until later when I

(03:37:21):
realized that she was a narcissist and her behavior had
nothing to do with me. She was a walking red flag in
her relationships cheating on every guy, she dated, as much as
I hate to admit it, she was alsoa gold digger.
Something her ex who remains a friend of mine can fully attest
to essentially, she was pretty awful as a teenager and nothing
changed. As she Grew Older.

(03:37:42):
If anything, her behavior only got worse, it was entirely my
parents fault, because they never bothered to discipline her
after school things. Finally started to look up for
me. I worked incredibly hard to get
into my dream college and after a few years of struggle, I
landed my dream job. It was there that I met the love
of my life. Atlas at an office conference,
he was smart, kind, and handsome, and we hit it off

(03:38:05):
instantly within a few months. We started dating, we traveled a
lot which only strengthened our bond Atlas was very close to his
family, so he introduced me to his siblings and parents just a
few months into our relationship.
But when it came to introducing him to my own parents, I took my
sweet time. The main reason for this delay
was my sister Dove and her malicious Tensions.

(03:38:26):
I always had this nagging feeling that she would find a
way to ruin everything. She was the one who always got
the best of everything as a child and teenager.
And now that my life was going better than hers, I was certain,
she wouldn't be able to handle it especially when it came to my
relationship. However, I couldn't keep
delaying the introduction. Any longer Atlas was beginning
to grow suspicious, of my reluctance, to introduce him to

(03:38:47):
my family. So after a year and a half of
dating, I finally told that about him dad was thrilled that
I had found a man who was worthyof me and invited us over for
dinner. While I was excited, I was also
equally stressed because I knew Dove could go to any lengths to
sabotage. My happiness although Atlas was
aware of my family Dynamics, I went over it with him in detail,
he was relaxed about it and reassured me that he would

(03:39:10):
handle whatever came his way. A few days after I spoke with
Dad, I unexpectedly received a call from Dove.
It was surprising. Since she had never reached out
to me before she started asking questions about Atlas And when I
plan to visit home but it was clear that her real interest was
in getting more details about Atlas.
I can only assume that mom had told her.
I was seeing someone and that our relationship was getting

(03:39:31):
serious. Dove was suddenly trying to get
all chummy with me but I could see right through her motives
now, I'm grappling with whether I should take the risk of
introducing Atlas to Dove knowing full.
Well, that her intentions are far from good.
I'm also considering an alternative perhaps inviting my
parents over to my place. So they can meet Atlas without
involving Dove update 1, thanks for all the great advice.

(03:39:52):
Some of you asked for more details about Dove.
So here you go. It's true that my parents,
especially my dad began to see Dove differently after her
divorce and she really brought it on herself.
She had been academically gifted, but once she got to
college her entire Focus shiftedto her looks and Beauty.
That's when she met Jeremy, a super rich guy and jumped into a

(03:40:13):
relationship with him, completely abandoning her
studies. During my final year of school,
I was busy preparing for my college, entrance exams and Dove
kept telling me I would never get into my dream College.
But I did and for the first timeI got validation from my
parents, they were genuinely happy and proud of me but Dove
couldn't stand it. She was jealous that all the

(03:40:33):
attention was on me and not on her to sabotage my moment.
She announced her engagement to Jeremy at the celebration party.
My parents had organized for me with close family and friends.
It was obvious from Jeremy expression that he had no idea
she was going to do this, but she succeeded in making the day
all about herself. Everyone immediately became
curious about Jeremy because according to Dove he was

(03:40:54):
extremely well. He Dove loved to show off the
expensive gifts, he bought her, and would constantly tell me
that I had never find a rich husband because I was ugly, and
no one would want to date. Someone like me, always trying
to make me feel bad. I eventually told her that I
wasn't a gold digger, like her, and that I could pay my own
bills, so she could have the rich husband, if that's what she
wanted. In truth, she was incredibly

(03:41:15):
selfish and downright evil. The most selfish person I've
ever known a week later. Dove and Jeremy got engaged, but
by then I was already off to college and didn't attend the
engagement during my time in college.
I had no communication with her.It actually felt good to come
home for the holidays. Knowing that Dove was living
with Jeremy even during the holidays.
She would often be a way on vacations to Exotic locations

(03:41:37):
with him. After a year of dating, they had
a lavish wedding with most of the expenses covered by Jeremy,
dad chipped in for the remainingcosts as a courtesy.
Since Dove was an earning anything.
Their marriage didn't last long,though?
After three years, they got divorced.
The reason, as I later found outwas that Dove didn't want to
have children. While Jeremy was eager to become

(03:41:58):
a father, although he assured me, he never pressured her.
He was frustrated that she neverdisclosed her feelings about it
beforehand and had avoided the conversation for three years.
He also mentioned her drinking and partying habits flirting
with guys at bars and that she had married him, purely for his
money with no emotional connection.
I couldn't help but wonder how he remained blind to her true

(03:42:19):
motives for so long. Jeremy even showed me videos of
Dove out drinking with guys who were touching her
inappropriately and she did nothing to stop them.
I was relieved. He finally ended things with her
but my parents took Dove side blaming Jeremy for pressuring
her about having kids, never acknowledging her faults.
After the divorce, Dove moved back in with my parents and she

(03:42:39):
wasn't working. She had dropped out of college
to marry Jeremy and now after five years, she had no degree
and no work experience. She pretended to be traumatized
by the divorce. But in reality, she was happy to
be free within a month of the divorce.
She was back to her old habits clubbing and hooking up her life
seemed to revolve around weekly dates and ditching people and

(03:43:00):
her Instagram stories made it clear what she was really up to
Two years into my career. I landed my dream job with a
great salary and my parents werethrilled after receiving the job
offer. I visited home and dad was so
proud of me. I couldn't have been happier.
We were having dinner when Dove returned.
Home, looking partially drunk, dad was upset at the side of her

(03:43:21):
and commented that Dove should have focused on her education.
Like I did instead of ruining her life over Jeremy he pointed
out how much I was earning and how Dove was still dependent on
them for money. Mom tried to get Dad to stop
making such comments but hearingthis Dove lost her temper and
slam the door. That's when Dad finally realized
just how spoiled Dove had become.
He told Mom that it was time to knock some sense into her.

(03:43:43):
Insisting that Dove needed to start taking her life seriously
and get back on her feet insteadof continuing to leech off them.
By this point, I was completely fed up with her.
Later Dove barged into my room and smugly told me that no
matter how much money I made. I could never be like her.
She even went as far as the body, shame me pointing out my
belly fat and chubby cheeks. As a teenager, those kinds of

(03:44:05):
comments used to break my heart but now I just didn't care.
I laughed in her face and told her that I had no desire to be
like her and that she clearly needed to work on fixing her
attitude that set her off and she demanded that I leave the
house. I calmly reminded her that this
was our parents house and she had no authority to boss me
around the next day. As I was packing to leave.

(03:44:25):
I noticed that two of my dresseshad been badly torn.
Clearly cut with scissors I wentdown stairs and showed my
parents. What Dove had done, dad was
Furious and called Dove out. But Mom, as usual tried to make
excuses for her, claiming Dove was in shock and didn't know
what she was doing. Dad wasn't having any of it.
He warned mom to stay out of it and then Unleashed his anger on

(03:44:45):
Dove telling her that she neededto get her life together because
he was done providing for her ortolerating her narcissism.
This confrontation didn't sit well with Dove and she ended up
hating me even more because of it from that point on, I was
subjected to Doves wrath, but her hatred didn't bother me.
It only became unbearable when she started making advances on
my boyfriend after much consideration and talking it

(03:45:07):
over with Atlas. I decided it was time to visit
my parents with him. There was no point in hiding him
from Dove any longer, because, no matter how hard I tried, she
would eventually find a way to get to him.
My friends, advised me, that it was better to test his loyalty
now than to risk losing him later, Dove would only succeed
in her malicious intentions of Atlas allowed it with a sense of
dread. I showed up at my parents house

(03:45:28):
with Atlas. I tell you she was practically
throwing herself at him as he was exchanging.
Greetings with Mom and Dad, Dovealmost forcefully.
Pushed herself onto him for a hug.
I have no idea what made her think, Atlas would fall for her,
looks She had completely transformed her appearance,
dying her blonde hair. Black getting all dressed up in
a new outfit with her nails and hair, perfectly done, as if she

(03:45:50):
was on a date with him. She tried to force her way into
the conversation, but it was clear that everyone was ignoring
her at the dinner table. She quickly rushed to sit beside
Atlas when I asked her to move. So, I could sit there.
She gave me an annoyed look, buteventually complied.
She kept asking Atlas about his interests, and if he mentioned
liking something she would immediately claimed, she liked

(03:46:10):
it too. Even if it was obvious, she
didn't then she'd go on about how she and Atlas were so
compatible winking at me as if to suggest I shouldn't take it.
Seriously though, it was clear. She was trying to cover up her
intentions. Atlas was visibly uncomfortable
and he ignored her, continuing his conversation with Dad and
Mom. Her desperate attempt was.
So, blatantly obvious after dinner, I decided to take a

(03:46:32):
shower leaving Atlas by himself.That's when Dove walked in
asking him to call her number because she claimed, she
couldn't find her phone. It was obvious that this was
just a boy to get his number. How twisted?
Atlas also told me that, while Iwas occupied with other things,
Dove tried to play the victim, telling him, her sob story about
the divorce and how much mental distress.
It had caused her dragging on about how it took her years to

(03:46:54):
recover to make matters worse mommy, even chimed in blaming
Jeremy and speaking ill of him. After a while, Atlas asked me,
if I wanted to go for a walk andgive him a tour of the
neighborhood, Before I could respond my sister quickly stood
up and said sure. Atlas looked at her surprised
and firmly stated that he wantedsome alone time with me.
Her face turned red with embarrassment and she quietly

(03:47:17):
retreated to her room. It's only been a few days since
that visit and I can already sense that Dove is planning more
schemes to lure Atlas into her trap.
I can't deny that it worries me.But at the same time I trust my
man and I'm curious to see how he handles her advances update
too. Hello everyone, I'm thrilled to
share that, I'm engaged. Atlas proposed to me last month

(03:47:38):
during a trip. And yes, he got down on one knee
with a ring and I couldn't stop gushing over it, but even after
our visit to, my parents Dove didn't stop with her
manipulative tactics. She started texting, Atlas
asking how he was doing knowing that Atlas is a huge cat lover
dub, began flooding, his inbox with cute cat videos even though
she never cared for cats before.After discovering that Atlas

(03:48:00):
adored cats, she went so far as to get one herself and began
recording videos of it to send to him.
For the first few weeks, Atlas showed me doves, desperate
attempts, to appearing and concerned.
Sending messages, that pretendedto inquire about his work and
well-being after a while though,he stopped sharing her messages
with me, I assumed she had finally, give up on him and
moved on and we both shifted ourFocus back to more important

(03:48:23):
things, especially with our busy, work schedules, one day,
as I was scrolling through social media, I noticed that
Dove had added Atlas to her account.
She was liking and commenting onnearly all of his posts, using
silly heart icons. She even went back and commented
on old pictures and videos from 7 to 10 years ago.
I immediately felt uneasy about it.
So out of the blue I checked hisphone I discovered that Dove was

(03:48:46):
still texting him occasionally but her messages were unread and
seemed odd. She was clearly trying hard to
get atlases attention in his call.
Logs, I saw missed calls from her including one that came in
around 3 a.m. which made me feelanxious.
I confronted at Atlas about why he hadn't told me that Dove was
still texting him. He got a bit nervous and
explained that he had been ignoring her and thought it was

(03:49:07):
better. If we didn't talk about her, I
pressed him further about the calls and he remained calm, then
he sat me down and explained that one day Dove had called him
sounding really upset. He got scared thinking,
something might be seriously wrong, but it turned out, she
just started talking about traumatic experience.
As related to Jeremy saying, sheneeded someone to talk to Atlas

(03:49:27):
told that she should talk to herparents instead and that it
wasn't appropriate to call so late, He also mentioned that she
should have let me know first that really struck a nerve with
me. And I told him that keeping this
from me was an okay and could lead to me losing trust in him.
He reassured me that he would never fall for her tricks and
that I had nothing to worry about, even with his
reassurance. I had to many stories about

(03:49:48):
husbands falling into similar traps, and I didn't want to be
naive by blindly trusting him. I told him that the next time
Dove called he should hand the phone over to me, so I could
catch her in the act. Sure enough one night, her call
came through and Atlas woke me up in the middle of the night.
I answered the phone and Dove immediately went silent when she
heard my voice. She quickly claimed it was a

(03:50:09):
mistake and hung up the next day.
I tried calling her multiple times to confront her, but she
never picked up. So, I texted her from atlas's
phone, letting her know, it was me and that she needed to stop
calling or texting him at odd hours.
I also told her that if there was anything urgent, she should
contact me directly instead after that, she finally stopped
texting him. And I felt relieved that she was

(03:50:31):
out of our Lives after Atlas proposed to me.
I sent a picture of the Ring to my dad.
Dove must have shown it to Mom and not long after she started
her stalking behavior again. She began texting Atlas and
sending ridiculous videos. I was completely fed up as soon
as Atlas told me, I called her an Unleashed.
All my pent-up anger telling herto stop playing games and get a

(03:50:52):
life. She mostly stayed silent while I
let it all out, but I didn't realize at the time that she
wasn't going to back down easily.
As soon as I hung up Mom called,Furious yelling at me for
insulting. My sister Dove had told her that
I was accusing her of trying to steal, my fiance mom, claimed
that my cruelty had caused Dove to have panic attacks and
insisted that I be more considerate toward her.

(03:51:13):
Reminding me that Dove had been struggling with depression for
years and was still recovering from her traumatic divorce.
I found it laughable because Dove was never depressed about
her divorce. I hung up the call and
immediately informed dad that ifthey continue to ignore doves
Behavior, I would have no choicebut to cut them out of my life.
I was done being a puppet in hergame.
I couldn't keep turning a blind eye to her antics.

(03:51:34):
Update 3. I never imagined Dove would
stoop so low. She had always made my life
miserable, but I never thought she would actually try to seduce
my fiance before our wedding, The Bullying body shaming and
constant ridicule were one thing, but realizing that she
was willing to go, as far as trying to ruin my wedding by
seducing, Atlas was a bitter pill to swallow, as we were
planning our wedding. I wasn't in contact with Mom

(03:51:57):
after our last confrontation. However, she eventually called
an apologized for shouting at meadmitting that she had lost
control out of fear. For dove who was supposedly
having panic attacks, one of my cousins later told me that Dove
had been crying to everyone about how I was accusing her of
trying to steal my fiance, and that I didn't deserve any of the
good things in my life, especially, Atlas, according to

(03:52:17):
Dove, because she was the gorgeous one, she believed she
should be the one getting the best of everything.
Not me when I told Mom about this, she went quiet.
She simply told me to forget everything and focus on my
wedding and the happy life ahead.
Fortunately, everything went as planned and Dove managed to keep
a low profile for a while. At the very least, she didn't
interfere in our lives. During that time on the day of

(03:52:40):
our wedding, we were at the venue busy with final
preparations. When I received a call from
atlases, best friend, asking me to come to atlases room with my
parents. I jokingly teased him saying
that Atlas wasn't supposed to see the bride before the
ceremony, but he insisted that this was something serious, that
needed to be dealt with before the wedding.
My heart raced, as I hurried to atlases room with my parents.

(03:53:01):
When we arrived, Atlas was lyingshirtless drifting in and out of
Consciousness. While his groomsmen recounted
doves devious actions, apparently, while Atlas was
getting ready, Dove had shown upwith a drink, he initially
refused it but Dove persisted until he took a sip almost
immediately, Atlas realized. The drink was spiked, he excused
himself and went to the washroomwhere he called his friend

(03:53:24):
explained what had happened and asked him to come over by the
time, his friend arrived Atlas had partially passed out, and
was out of the washroom. Since his friend was sharing the
room with Atlas, he had access and quickly turned on his camera
as he entered. He overheard.
Atlas shouting at Dove to leave him alone while she was on top
of him undressing herself and rubbing against him.
This disgusting Act was capturedon camera when Dove noticed

(03:53:47):
atlases friend, she pretended. They were making out covered
herself up and left the room smirking at his friend and
asking him. Not to tell anyone little did
she know that she had already been caught on video when we
walked in Atlas was still lying there.
Partially unconscious, the drinkwas so potent that even a few
sips had left him, severely dizzy with a pounding headache.
The glass was still there with solid particles settled at the

(03:54:10):
bottom. It was an incredibly humiliating
moment for my parents who were in disbelief that Dove could do
something. So, horrendous, my mom
immediately called Dove and toldher to come to atlases room.
When she arrived her lipstick was smudged.
And she nonchalantly said, I know you guys are mad at me but
it was Mutual, Atlas loves me and has been making advances on

(03:54:30):
me ever since we met Today, he convinced me to have a one-time
hookup before the wedding. My mom slapped her hard telling
her that we were aware of her lies.
And that everything had been recorded on camera, Dove was
stunned by this Revelation and my parents wasted no time in
kicking her out of the venue before she could cause any more
trouble security was instructed not to allow her back inside.

(03:54:51):
It was obvious that she had beentrying to make it known that.
She had been with Atlas hoping Iwould call off the wedding.
My dad immediately called a doctor who confirmed that Atlas
had indeed been served a spiked drink, which had severely
affected him atlases, parents and siblings were so upset that
they wanted to confront of, but my parents had to apologize
profusely to them to help calm the situation.

(03:55:11):
The wedding had to be delayed until Atlas recovered, which
took several rounds of vomiting to get through word of the
incident spread quickly. Among the guests who were
buzzing with gossip for the nextfew days.
Once Atlas had fully recovered, my dad walked me down the aisle
while I was happy to finally see.
Atlas as my husband, I couldn't shake the stress of everything
that had transpired. During our vows, Atlas added an

(03:55:33):
extra promise, vowing to protectour relationship from anyone who
didn't want to see us to get together.
After we returned from our honeymoon, my parents came to
visit us and apologized to Atlasfor all the trouble.
Dove had caused my dad, reassured us that Dove would be
out of our lives for good. He had actually kicked her out
of the house and told her to fend for herself.
Despite this, I'm still struggling to move past the

(03:55:55):
incident, my wedding was perilously close to being called
off. And if atlases friend hadn't
recorded what happened, I might never have believed that Atlas
was innocent in all of this. Am I the assshole for breaking
up with my unmotivated girlfriend who has nothing going
for her and might become homeless?
I mail 24 met a girl. Female 22 in a community college

(03:56:15):
class. When I was 20, we came from very
different backgrounds. I was middle class, trying to
find a cheaper way to go to college.
She was living in almost povertygoing to school because she was
forced to, by her parents who were threatening to kick her
out. She dropped out about a year
into her schooling while I continue in finished during her
first year, we formed a relationship and she moved into
my apartment, more or less her relationship with her parents is

(03:56:37):
pretty much non-existent and shehas little to no outside friends
besides one or two women. She knew from high school who
are deadbeats in my opinion. I make around 80k a year.
So we live relatively comfortably, but there's still
some strain on finances. I can't say exactly when I
started losing feelings, but thefact that she refuses to work,
will not cook and wants to eat out every day.
Does not want to go to school and continuously wants to buy

(03:57:00):
and spend money on clothes and other stuff.
Just slowly started grading me more and more.
I work in a female dominated workplace and seeing having
conversations and interacting with co-workers, who have so
much going for them. Have fun hobbies and aspirations
makes it all the more worse whenyour girlfriend is chronically
online and spend seven hours a day, scrolling through Instagram
or tiktok reels and thinks having sex.

(03:57:21):
Is all she needs to do on her end.
Our relationship isn't bad, we have fights every now and then
like an average couple have an active sex life, but that's
pretty much it from her perspective.
If I broke up with her, it wouldbe out of nowhere.
But I'm pretty much done. And now I could move on quickly
and have nothing to be regretfulabout his shity as it sounds.
The problem comes in her having no job.

(03:57:41):
No, finances, almost no friends and no family.
Support unit. I'm not a monster.
I don't want to make someone virtually homeless but I don't
want to be stuck with someone who has nothing going for them
either. I don't know what to do edit.
Thank you for all the advice in this post.
I don't know if this sub allows updates, but I'll talk to her
tomorrow about this and start the process of working this out.

(03:58:02):
Relevant comments. Op explains, yeah, if she was a
toxic or just bad partner, I wouldn't have too much trouble
ending it, but she's fairly nice.
Just very lazy. I've tried to talk her into
trying different Hobbies or interests to get her active but
she always turns them down each time, how long?
She wasn't as bad when we were still in school.
She at least helped cook and hadsome aspirations to be a nurse.

(03:58:24):
But I guess when she started getting comfortable her habits
built on, and on until it got tothis point, this wouldn't have
been a four-year relationship. If this was how it started, she
only leaves the apartment. When I take her to get food, she
either sleeps or is on her phone.
Is she miserable with her life? She's not really miserable.
She always sends me 30 plus memes at work on IG and is

(03:58:44):
honestly a pretty funny person. She has her mood swings on some
days but that's how she usually is.
I've tried talking to her about this more than once, but she
either thinks I'm not being serious or tries to change the
subject. The one time I was serious, she
said would try looking at courses again, but it eventually
fell through and I stopped trying.
She just doesn't really care update one for starters.
I want to thank everyone for allthe advice.

(03:59:05):
I was given on the last thread as it helped me.
Formulate how I would go about doing this when I made that post
I was having an extremely bad day and didn't expect it to blow
up like it did. So I don't think I was able to
give her a fair defense. Also, I got dozens of messages
ranging from asking me to hand out her contact info, so they
could take her in as a live in sex girlfriend to helpful
advice, telling me to start hiding anything valuable.

(03:59:26):
When I had said that she had come from poverty, her father is
a laborer while her mother also lives a similar lifestyle to how
she lives. Now, their home is maybe 1,100
square feet and in a terrible place in town and given her
father Passed ultimate him. I don't think he will take her
back as she hasn't been back home in years.
Yes, I have talked to her about this.
Since January, may be three times either.

(03:59:48):
By gently telling her, it would be nice.
If she went out more to find a hobby at the very least to flat
out say she was wasting away on her phone and that she needs to
get a job or go back to school each time.
She either changes the subject makes it a joke or follows
through for a couple of days before going back to her usual
self. She is a kind partner who asks
me about my day always tries to make me laugh or lighten the

(04:00:10):
mood when I get annoyed and generally shows a lot of
affection, which makes me feel terrible when none of that works
anymore. And I just see her as another
person now, for the confrontation, Last night when
we were both getting ready for bed, I didn't take my clothes
off. And instead just stood there
telling her we needed to talk atfirst she was just smiling and
jumping up and down on the bed with her niece thinking, I

(04:00:31):
wasn't as serious as I was but eventually she was able to read
the mood. I told her something wasn't
feeling right anymore that I've tried to make this work and be
patient with her for the past few years.
But I didn't know how much more time I was willing to spend
waiting for her to get a job. Go back to school or just get a
hobby. If anything I told her that it
annoyed in graded me that she just didn't seem to care about
herself and that I hated that, she had no goals or aspirations.

(04:00:54):
This was probably the first timein a long time.
She was as attentive as she is ever, been during this
conversation and agreed to whatever I was saying even also
giving suggestions on where she can apply, what courses were
starting to interest her. And even set, I could look over
her as she submitted applications online to make sure
she wasn't alive. In her head it seemed like I was
still willing to make this work and a part of me believe this

(04:01:16):
would finally be the moment thatshe would change.
So it made the next part even harder for me.
And for her at first, I told her, I didn't love her the same
way, which slowly, but eventually led to me saying, I
didn't feel anything at all about this relationship and was
jaded. I was tired and wanted a fresh
start with someone who was more goal-oriented and wanted
something more out of life when she realized.

(04:01:36):
What I was getting at, she started to cry and asked why I
didn't mention this sooner. And I said, I've always asked
her to cook, to go out with me to try something out, or to just
go back to school. Even when I offered to pay for
her classes, anything She said she understands that part but
was upset why I didn't say it was leading to me losing
interest in her because from herperspective it seemed as if I

(04:01:57):
still loved her all the same. She started apologizing saying,
she wasn't in the right mental state and saying, nothing was
motivating her and she genuinelyhad no interest in any hobbies.
The only thing she liked was spending time with me, which is
all she looked forward to on theday.
When I came home, none of this was really affecting my emotions
besides making me feel uncomfortable.
So I tried to continue by saying, I think her life style

(04:02:19):
would be better with another person but she immediately cut
me off and became more panicked.She started to apologize again,
for what she's done and said shewould be a better girlfriend
that she would go with me tomorrow to wherever I wanted to
go and would look for courses inAugust that she could start
doing, but she did not want to lose me since she had nothing
else in life and absolutely hated that.
I stopped loving her. There were so many tears and

(04:02:41):
snot that I said, we would have this conversation again when she
calmed down and we eventually did in an hour or so she pleaded
to give her two months to make achange and give her another
chance, and promised, and promised that she would change.
Again, she listed off all the places she would apply to and
said she would be a better partner.
I never wanted to make her homeless.
So this seemed like a good settlement even though I still

(04:03:02):
had my doubts. I then reaffirmed that I wanted
to see other people, but she seemed much more adamant on this
issue than the aspirations issuethat she would be able to fix
this. She said, just give her a month
to try and make the relationshipwork and asked me again and
again on what she could do to make her.
Love her again and that she didn't want me to hate her.
She said that this was the worstpart of it all in the only

(04:03:23):
person that she had just done. It seemed as if she was about to
break down again. So I said, okay, will see how
this relationship is in a month.In my mind, if I'm allowing her
two months to get back on her feet, then buy a month, she
would already be ready to move on.
I also didn't want her to suffera complete mental breakdown
while I was still living with her.
So, giving her a month to let her fix.
The relationship would give her enough time to accept things.

(04:03:45):
I slept on the couch last night and will probably continue
doing. So for a while she came out at
about 3 a.m. wanting to talk some more, but I said I was
exhausted and we would do it tomorrow.
She then slept on the floor beside me for the rest of the
night. Apologizing again, when I told
her to stop, she silently said, okay and sobbed for a bit under
her blanket. But that's everything that's
happened so far this was one of the hardest things I've ever had

(04:04:08):
to do but I regret nothing and feel much better letting
everything out. I don't know how this situation
will be in two months, but I wasfirm that it was the deadline.
This post will probably get buried.
So I probably won't do another update since I don't think
anyone will care about this in aweek or a month, but I will
definitely private message. Those of you who have been
helping me through this, on how it turns out, or those who just

(04:04:28):
want to be updated but yeah, thanks Edit, for all of you who
keep asking what my workplace is.
I'm a RN update 2. I feel like this will be an
easier place to post since it's my page.
And I don't have to worry about over spamming with small or
inconsequential updates, anywhere else as it's only for
those wanting to read. I want everyone who is
privately, messaged me to know. I read them all.

(04:04:50):
Especially those of you who havegone through similar
circumstances, as me and have shared your stories.
I've been doing some self-reflection and think, I
know how I want to go about this, that will help with my
lack of communication skills. I know I'm not a perfect person
but I still stand by my decisions.
I made that night, 100% through and through I might post an
update sooner in a week or so asthe day after our fight, I'm

(04:05:11):
filled with a bit more hope thanusual.
Don't know how long it will lastbut better make use of it.
But again, I just wanted to postthis for everyone, sharing your
stories with me privately, as I can't message you all as it's
been helping me make decisions on what to do about this all
immensely. Hello I have a partner who wants
to start taking an interest in baking.
She is a bit self-conscious and doesn't like asking or looking

(04:05:32):
for outside help and I'm kind ofClueless in the subject.
But I want to be able to find a resource to give some help for
her. Are there any YouTube playlists
or something similar? You would all recommend to get
started for someone who has little experience cooking as
well. Update 3.
This is a long post and no I'm not going to give a tldr hey
all. It's been about a week since my
last post and I thought I'd givean update a lot has happened,

(04:05:55):
including the explosion of my first update threat I have over
50 plus DMS asking me for an update.
So instead of copy and pasting replies, I'll do another one.
I find it easier to write than to speak in many situations.
So this has been a great way to help my decisions and clear my
head writing everything down hashelped tremendously and I will
continue to do so until this is all over and I will nuke

(04:06:15):
everything afterwards. After the night confrontation,
we didn't really speak all too much at home with it being dry
and awkward for a day or two. But I have been told I'm a
workaholic by Nature so it was easy for me to stay at the
hospital as a distraction but inthe time she did start to cook
again we were in the mood to go out to eat together eventually
though, I sat down with her after she asked for a more

(04:06:36):
thorough conversation on why I felt our relationship was
failing. She promised not to cry or get
upset, but wanted me to be 100% up front so she had a better way
of understanding stating, she wanted to try everything to fix
this. I was really apprehensive about
this and I can't really explain why.
But given being together for four years, I wanted to at least
make an effort myself out of respect even though a large part

(04:06:57):
of me was angry for even doing so as I feel, I've never had the
same from her. There have been many different
camps in my last update, the main ones being kick her out
immediately and leave her beforeit gets worse.
Try to find a way to fix our relationship or end the
relationship altogether. But continue living with
someone, who would probably become absolutely neurotic.
If I was going to let her stay for two months, I would
absolutely not be dealing with that.

(04:07:18):
I took consideration in all these main advice discussions
and read through almost every reply.
Even the most assumptive bizarreand downright.
Unhinged redditor takes more importantly, I took heavy
influence from those who have shared with me, their past
stories, which either led to them being stuck in Lovelace,
relationships for years, or eventually being able to
overcome their problems and havean even stronger connection.

(04:07:40):
Thank you again for your privatemessages.
I read through a lot of your lives.
Now for our conversation she said she saw something on tiktok
where couples put a phone on a table with a timer and wanted to
do something similar. For each person to are what made
them upset. I said that was dumb.
If we were going to talk about our problems, it would be better
if there was no time limit. She eventually agreed and said,

(04:08:01):
I could go first asking me first.
When was the time that I completely lost my love for her?
As I said before, it was never one action, but a grading
feeling that got worse and worseuntil it got to this point.
And I told her that. So she then asked, when was the
time I felt the most angry. I said it would take some time
to think for me, and she said that was fine.
After a few minutes, something came to mind, I couldn't

(04:08:22):
formulate the right words at first, but it eventually just
started to come out. I told her the worst time was
when I was first starting at my hospital to keep it short.
The tempo was brutal. It was constant work, with
little to no downtime as I was constantly learning new things
that school would had never taught me while being expected
to be able to handle it as a professional.
It was without a doubt, the moststressed I've ever been and I

(04:08:43):
feel like other RNs can relate here that year in the way I
think. Now that hard work does pay off
if you have the drive and the passion, I told her, I think
that was when I started losing feelings, the fastest seeing her
at home, doing absolutely nothing.
Coming home to know, food made to her, not working a job to
her, not learning anything, completely stuck to the internet
with nothing to show for it. I said it made me even more

(04:09:05):
upset when I had given suggestions for jobs with pretty
easy schedules or to find a new interest in school that would
pan out better than last time. Only to be rejected at every
attempt. I told her flat out that, it
discussed me. She asked me why I didn't make
this a bigger issue at the time that I should have communicated
this to her. But I said there's something
that shouldn't have to be said. I shouldn't have to remind her

(04:09:25):
to wash her ass. Eat do something other than
mindlessly scrolling on her phone for hours, at a day, every
day. I also told her that after
coming home from the hospital during more stressful days, the
last thing I wanted was to spendmy time begging my girlfriend to
do something productive. So I held my tongue and settled
as she was still nice and caring, I had no other reasons
to end it. And so the resentment grew worse

(04:09:46):
from then on it was around here that I became more mean to my
regret now, but I will still in,put it as I have.
Everything else I told her that when she dropped nursing, I was
upset since I fell that she was more than capable of doing what
I done but after spending more time in the relationship and
spending more time getting to know her.
I knew that with the type of person she was there was no way
she could have ever finished which is why I suggested easier

(04:10:09):
and more laid-back jobs. Let's demanding Majors for
school shit. Even if she just cooked or found
an interesting hobby at that point, I would have appreciated
it. Still she chose to do nothing
for years. It's just the type of person she
was and why I fell down for her romantically over time.
She asked me if I hated her and I said I didn't know I told her
she was very loving and kind butI hated how she handled her life

(04:10:31):
to this point. That I felt no ill-will towards
her after airing everything out.But I also felt nothing else.
I just felt done and ready to move on throughout this
conversation. We kept eye contact and there
were times. It seemed like she would break
but like she said she remained as calm as she could.
While I said, what I had to say,I told her I was done and she
could say her piece now, but sheasked, if we could continue the

(04:10:52):
conversation later and locked herself in our room for the rest
of the day, the next day, we satdown again and finished the
conversation. She told me that she thinks
she's depressed saying that she didn't feel sad before that
night just had no motivation to do anything.
I had a couple of messages telling me to ask her to get
tested for ADHD, but when I started bringing it up she was
very adamant. That is not something she felt

(04:11:13):
comfortable with I knew she didn't like needles or going to
the hospital in General but her flat out refusing to get tested
for disorders when I told her itwas not at all like a regular
hospital visit surprised me. She asked me if she was able to
change her behavior. Would I give her another chance?
I said, I said, I didn't know, as I felt nothing right now and
didn't know if her doing it would bring any feeling back.

(04:11:33):
Especially since it took my breaking point to do so.
She asked if there was any compromise and I told her again
if in a month I felt like there was enough reason to stay
together. I would.
But that there was no guarantee that my feelings would return,
but I would match any effort. She also put out, she was
frustrated by my answer but I said that's how it would be.
She gave me a piece of paper to look at that.

(04:11:55):
She was working on last night, that had a list of hobbies and
interests. She wanted to look into the two
major ones, being photography and cooking again.
She told me that she was lookinginto these while also showing me
her phone, giving proof that shewas putting in applications on
indeed, and Glassdoor, for some entry-level positions that she
might get hired in. I told her, if she was able to
show enough passion or interest in these hobbies that she

(04:12:15):
showed, I would not care about her working, just anything to
improve herself, but if she didn't do anything at all, then
it would be best to look for a new job to help her if she moves
out. I've been asked in private
messages. If I have any personal friends
to talk to, there's two female co-workers I can find some
information in given, how many hours we worked together at our
hospital and who I completely trust.

(04:12:36):
As in my opinion, they are extremely grounded.
They both said I would have eventually get loved and this
would all go back to how it oncewas, and that I needed to stand
firm with moving on. They very helpful friends who
have even offered to. Let me stay over for a few
nights. Giving the reason that I would
fall for her manipulation, if I continue being anywhere near her
in their own words, but it didn't feel right since I'm

(04:12:56):
still technically in a relationship.
But I said I would consider it if the situation worsened.
But again I find them Founded. So I always try to take their
advice to Heart despite numerousmessages from you all privately
or openly telling me that this will be a mistake.
I want to make the attempt to give this one last try though.
I feel heavily closed and guarded and still feel
indifferent with our current situation but a lot of you have

(04:13:18):
told me this can eventually change with enough work from
both parties. I have also taken the advice of
those saying to cut off sex, which was my intention from the
start Anyway by continuing to sleep in the living room.
But each day she has been sleeping on the floor right
below me. Even when I tell her, I'd rather
be alone with my thoughts. Telling me this is something.
She would not accept, but that'severything so far.

(04:13:39):
Next update, will probably be atthe month.
Mark as there's nothing else. I feel like I need to say for
now. Just waiting to see if things
can get better now that we're working on this.
Someone Survivor of incest and closed.
Adoption confronts by a logical daughter's persistent attempts
at reconnection despite repeatedrejections.
I don't know if this is the right place but I've exhausted
other means of support. When I was 12.

(04:14:01):
I suffered a short period of horrible abuse from a distant
relative and ended up pregnant. My religious parents were
adamant about choosing life. While maintaining their crystal
clear image in the community andI was sent to live with my
grandmother for my seventh gradeyear.
I ended up giving birth a few weeks after my 13th birthday and
immediately handed the child over to her adoptive parents who

(04:14:21):
at the time seemed like wonderful people.
The only people who even knew ofmy pregnancy and my life aside
from authorities, medical personnel were my parents, my
grandmother, one of my brothers and my therapist, my husband is
also aware. I'm now 32 I have been married
to the man of my dreams for two years and pregnant with what
will be our first children together.

(04:14:42):
Lucked out with twins as we require IVF to conceive.
It took me the rest of my childhood and the better part of
my 20s to get over. What happened to me?
I finally was able to heal put it past me and now for the past
five years or so. Able to go months at a time
without thinking about it. I had a closed adoption.
I made it clear to the adoptive parents, I wanted absolutely no

(04:15:03):
contact whatsoever and I never held the baby I gave away
something. I do not regret to this day.
I have avoided ever having social media partially to avoid
being found in the beginning of September I received a phone
call from a pi letting me know my biological daughter wanted to
meet me and had hired him to track me down.
I immediately made it clear. I have no interest in contact

(04:15:23):
and to please leave me alone by the end of November.
I had received multiple phone calls and letters from my
biological daughter begging me to meet her.
I wrote her a letter in return. Telling her I'm happy, she's had
a great life but that I have no interest in contact.
I made it clear. I will not stop her at all.
From reaching out to extended family.
I won't be mad if she outs me asher biological mother and

(04:15:45):
pursues a relationship with my relatives.
She did reach out to my brother who immediately blocked her on
Facebook. I would prefer she didn't but I
don't think it's my place to keep her from doing so.
On Tuesday, she showed up at my front door while I was at work.
My husband answered and immediately told her to please
leave, or he would have to call the police.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to explain to

(04:16:07):
her in any other way that I do not want to meet her.
I also don't want to be cruel. I don't view her as my daughter,
as horrible as that sounds. I do wish her the best, but I
have built a life. I'm finally comfortable with.
I don't want her to be part of it.
If there is any insight, any adoptees could provide on how I
could explain this to her without having, to just be
brutally honest. And also sparing, her feelings,

(04:16:28):
or birth moms who have gone through a similar thing.
Relevant comments, comment one. Comment.
Deleted by user op. I ended up writing her another
letter explaining, how she was conceived.
How many years it took for me tofinally feel like a human being
again. And how my unwillingness to meet
her has nothing to do with her personally and everything to do
with needing to preserve my own mental health.

(04:16:49):
I asked that she please leave meand the one brother.
She reached out to alone. I again stressed, I would not
stop her from reaching out to extended family and I included a
packet of information about our family medical history and some
watercolor pictures that my grandmother and I made together
when I was pregnant with her. Comment too question.
Did her adoptive parents know about the circumstances of her

(04:17:10):
conception Opie? Her parents were made aware by
my parents about details surrounding her conception
before the adoption took place, comment 3.
While I don't condone her behavior, do try to understand
what forces would drive someone to behave that way.
What you and your husband are doing is to put it very bluntly,
a cruelty, it's understandable but no less cruel, it makes

(04:17:32):
sense, that you don't view her as your daughter, but it also
makes sense that she might seek to know who she is by knowing
you as an adopted kid growing up.
I wondered endlessly about who Iwas and I felt like the only way
to get a sense of it was to track down biological relatives
which I did do and funny enough.I experienced a little bit of
what you described doing to her it more, or less worked out for

(04:17:53):
me. She's a 19 year old woman who
just wants to know who she is. It actually may be healing for
you. Also to erase the trauma of what
you went through, at 13 and giving up the child.
Then, by replacing it with this new person, whom you may find
you relate to, as a peer rather than your child.
You may see her more as a younger sister and that may
actually be a great relationshipfor the two of you.

(04:18:14):
The best situation I could see happening would be for you to
welcome her interest and accept her as a legitimate part of your
life and family for you and yourhusband to get over your
resistance to the fact that she exists.
I know my own birth mother's husband had to deal with this to
a degree resisting. Her will actually just make
things more unpleasant and have them linger.
Like the second shoe that never drops while dropping the

(04:18:35):
resistance. May be the most peaceful path to
her leaving on her own or betteryet co-creating.
The kind of relationship that works for everyone involved.
Obviously as an adopted kid, I'mgoing to advocate for other
adopted kids getting whatever they can to gain some closure
about their own adoption experience.
Adoption is itself traumatic andit echoes throughout life, I

(04:18:56):
think it would do both of you a world of good to hop on a phone
together and for you to explain what your resistance is about.
Op. Nothing will erase the trauma.
I went through a 12 and 13 yearsold in the span of a little over
a year. I went from a little girl who
still played with Barbies to being forced to go through the
extremely traumatic birth of an unwanted child.
She is welcome to be a part of the lives and family of my

(04:19:17):
extended family. Someday, when my own children
are grown, they are free to knowand love her for May own life.
I choose not to have her as partof it, as painful as it is.
She is a physical reminder of the worst of events that have
ever happened to myself. And my brother Telling me it may
be healing for me or erase my abuse to get to know her is in a
way. Condescending at no point.

(04:19:38):
Did I attempt to make a claim that I know her trauma?
Nor will I ever trivialize it? I will never know the Lost, she
feels or the pain and unique trauma that comes along with
being an adoptee. I won't claim to know what's
best for her to heal or any other person.
I wish her nothing but the best,but I won't be hopping on the
phone with her anytime soon. I won't pretend to know your
trauma. Don't pretend to know mine, I

(04:20:01):
wish you and your family. Happiness and health adoption is
challenging and it seems often tragic for many parties
involved. Comment three threats, your
daughter arrested because she wants to meet, you seems a bit
excessive op a woman, who is a stranger to my husband showed up
at our front door demanding to see his wife.
Me in the middle of a pandemic while I'm 26 weeks, pregnant

(04:20:22):
with our first children. She was shouting demanding to
see me and he calmly told her toleave or he would get the police
involved. I don't think he acted out of
line or in excess comment for you.
Didn't say that in your originalpost.
All you wrote was on Tuesday, she showed up at my front door
while I was at work. My husband answered and
immediately told her to please leave, or he would have to call

(04:20:42):
the police Opie at the time. It didn't seem necessary to say
She a stranger that I expressed.I did not want any contact with
presumably drove across state lines to come to my home.
While I am knowingly pregnant during a pandemic to see me.
I am sympathetic to everything she's going through, but it was
extremely unsettling for my husband and I don't blame him at

(04:21:03):
all. He's understandably, protective
of me. Comment, five.
It's unsettling to see so many people.
Refer to this 19-year-old girl, as some malicious woman,
including Opie. She's a child, and she is acting
like one op at no point. Did I make her out to be a
malicious woman? She is definitely young.
And I understand that that is part of where her lack of

(04:21:23):
impulse control comes from. I have given her as much of an
explanation as I'm willing to, Ihope that she finds peace and
closure in whatever it is, she is looking for now that I have
made her aware of the details surrounding her conception.
I hope she can understand betterwhy I make the choices.
I am making, I am someone who places a lot of value in having
my space and boundaries respected.
I don't feel, I owe her anything.

(04:21:45):
I was a child myself when she was born and we are both victims
of the same man who forced us into this situation.
I do not view her as my daughterand I do not view myself as her
mother. I think we are too people buy a
lot of logically tied as parent and Offspring and Tied by a
series of extremely traumatic events that we had no choice in.
I did not feel familial kinship for her.
While I was forced to keep an unwanted pregnancy and I did not

(04:22:08):
feel familial kinship for her when I was forced through a
traumatic birth. And to be brutally honest, I do
not feel familial kinship towards her now.
I wish her well and I hope she finds peace, but I do not feel
in any way apparent To her, I don't know.
Her trauma and will never know her trauma in the same ways that
she will never know mine. I don't think she has malicious
intent. Comment six.

(04:22:29):
Yes, you did. But when confronted about that
several times simply deny the misconstruction of the poor
girl. Opie.
I have empathy for her to a point.
We all have the right to our boundaries being respected
update. Tldr when I was 13 I gave birth
after being forced to go througha pregnancy that resulted from
incest rape. The child was adopted through a

(04:22:50):
closed adoption after she initiated contacts sought a
reunion. I declined wanting contact.
And she is now shown up at my home twice.
I reluctantly agreed to a phone call with said young woman
today, and I know without a doubt that she is entirely
unwelcome in my life as stated in responses to comments in my
original posts, I ended up writing my birth daughter.
Another letter explaining to herthe circumstances of her birth,

(04:23:13):
and why I do not want contact with her.
I also included a few watercolors I did with my
grandmother while I was pregnantwith her.
And an extensive packet of information regarding family,
medical history, I overnight FedEx to the address I had for
her. Sadly in the late hours of last
night, she showed up at my house.
Again, this time while I was home and pounded on my front
door, screaming my husband, and I tried to ignore it, but we got

(04:23:36):
a phone call from our neighbors that they would call the police.
If we didn't answer our door, ifI handled the situation and I
honestly didn't want to start Christmas Eve with getting
someone clearly going through the thick of it.
Arrested, my husband spoke to her VR.
Our home doorbell alarm system thing.
When this did not placate her, Iliterally barricaded myself in
our bathroom and he went out theback door locking it and then

(04:23:57):
around the front to speak to her, I could hear him screaming
at her unpleasant but apparentlyeffective because she finally
left this morning, I received a phone call from her adoptive
parents apologizing to me that they never fully disclosed how
she was conceived and that they helped fund the pi, which is how
she found me, hoping it would lead to a more happy reunion,
what they did tell me, they toldher that she was the result of

(04:24:20):
rape. What they lied to her about was
that it was my parents who made me give her away.
And that I always loved her chose life and wanted to keep
her. If I had been older all eyes and
it seemed she received a similar, very religious
upbringing that I did. I ended up agreeing to speak
with her on the phone facilitated by her birth
parents, if she understood that.Now she has to leave me alone or

(04:24:40):
I will pursue legal advice and will not hesitate to call the
police if she were to ever come to my home ever again, I was
very blunt with her because I felt that she has already been
lied to 100 times it. Probably would have been better
to do the conversation through atherapist, but honestly, I'm
just happy, it's over. She asked me if I loved her as
her daughter, the way I love thechildren, I'm pregnant with.
I told I have loved for her as ahuman being, but that I would

(04:25:03):
not lie and say, I felt like a mother to her that she's only
five years younger than my own husband and that I don't love
her in any maternal way, but I do love her as my sister in
humanity. She asked me if I wish I had an
abortion. I said that at the time, I
wanted an abortion that the trauma I felt would have been
significantly reduced. If I were allowed to terminate,
the pregnancy forced upon me by my rapist.

(04:25:24):
I also said, I wouldn't go back and change what happened now?
Because she already exists and Iwould never wish away her
existence. She asked me about my faith and
if I am still a very conservative, religious
background that, I guess she shares, I told her know that I'm
not even a Christian, she asked me about my political beliefs,
and if I support murdering babies, I said, I'm 100%

(04:25:46):
pro-choice that I am a socialistand an anti-capitalist, but that
I don't think being conservativemakes you a bad person.
Not really related, but I felt the need to say it.
We talked about other things fora bit, mostly her asking me,
because if I'm being honest, I don't really care to ask her
anything about herself. she asked me if I forgave her birth
father, and if I ever spoke to him, and if I would ever

(04:26:07):
consider visiting him with her, I told her that I will never
forgive him that, I don't ascribe to Christian ideas of
having to forgive When pressed further about information
related to him. I told her to ask my parents for
any further information and takethe time to read the second
letter. I wrote her, I provided her
mother with contact information for my own parents.
I'm hoping to close this chapterof my life.

(04:26:29):
I can't imagine speaking with me.
Gave her much peace but I hope she satisfied.
My husband and I are now considering moving so that she
can't find us again. I don't feel any better having
spoken with her. If anything, I'm reassured about
choosing never to see her in person.
She seems like a broken person. And I hope she finds her own
healing, but I do not want her as part of my life.

(04:26:50):
She seems like the kind of person I wouldn't get along with
and would never respect boundaries.
I get that, she has so much trauma of her own and I hope she
is able to leave the religious community.
She belongs to, unless she is happy there.
I don't feel guilty that her life wasn't everything.
It could have been, I do feel sympathy that she obviously has
been raised in a similar, toxic religious household.

(04:27:11):
I am glad this is over. I've disconnected, my landline
and am changing my cell phone number.
I am going to restart therapy atthe beginning of next year, and
if she ever shows up at my home again, I will be calling the
police. Relevant comments, comment one.
You did everything possible to help her while still keeping
that boundary clear. I applaud you for that.
I know this was very distributive to your life and

(04:27:32):
she had no right to it and obviously crossed the line
multiple times. It makes a lot more sense.
Now, hearing about the involvement of the adoptive
parents and how they have hurt the situation.
They should have never ever toldher those things never crossed a
line with the p and never encouraged her to keep pursuing.
This it was completely inappropriate and entirely their
fault. Honestly, the girl is just
acting in the way you would expect for her age and

(04:27:54):
upbringing in the context of what she had been.
Told I'm sure that as she gets older, she will think back to
this and possibly read through everything, you gave her
multiple times, she will be ableto process it and most likely be
able to understand where you're coming from.
She will appreciate the information and the honesty.
At some point, she is just a child and everything that she
had ever thought about the situation in the possibilities

(04:28:15):
of a relationship is completely wrong.
That's a lot to stomach for anyone.
Let alone a kid. Try not to be angry with her
about this. If anything be angry at these
parents, they are the ones responsible for putting her on
this Mission Opie. I'm not angry with her.
I don't hate her. She's obviously a scared
teenager in need of guidance andI hope she finds the answer.
She is looking for comment too. Is her birth father in prison?

(04:28:38):
Did he ever get any kind of punishment?
Also, I'm so sorry for everything that has happened
being pregnant. After a forced pregnancy is so
hard. I was also pregnant after I was
raped and now that I'm pregnant.Again, I've noticed things being
weird in my head. Opie.
He spent 16 years in prison, he raped six members of my family
in one year including myself, Being pregnant after having been

(04:29:01):
pregnant, from abuses strange, for sure.
My pregnancy is nearly two decades apart, but it has
brought back weird feelings. I literally chose this
pregnancy. My husband and I used IVF and
sometimes I have to double thinkfirst thing in the morning of
horror, at the reaction of my baby bump, comment, 3, comment
removed by moderator. Opie.
I am now living in a hotel rather than staying in my house

(04:29:23):
while I'm pregnant to avoid having to call the police on
her. You're right in that, I don't
know her, I don't feel overwhelming and hopefully warm
love for her, like a mother would, but I care about her as a
person. I care for her and that I
believe she deserves the very best life and answers to her
questions and emotional support.I just can't be the one to
provide it. I am barely holding it together.

(04:29:44):
I've done what I thought, showedher respect.
While respecting myself, you have no right at all to ascribe
intentions or feelings towards my actions comment for The
adoptive parents completely disregarded their promise made
when adopting her to keep her safe, nothing they told her kept
her emotionally safe and even put her in potential physical,
danger, by encouraging and facilitating, the hiring of a

(04:30:06):
pi, which is what led to these late-night door poundings and
overly emotional decision-making.
I'm so angry at them for Opie. And for her Opie, they were
unfair to her and I am angry with them for this reason and
not her. I'm so pissed.
They lied to her. I'm also a bit angry with my own
parents because at the time of the adoption, I was told her
parents were non-denominational Christians and not part of my

(04:30:27):
parents, insane sect of Christianity.
Comment 5. Wow, it just keeps getting
worse. I'm really sorry, I'd be
extremely angry with the adoptive parents, as well.
I might be more inclined to givemy parents, the benefit of the
doubt and ask, if they'd been lied to as well.
Since the adoptive parents are obviously, extremely dishonest
willing to tell, reprehensible lies to their own child to avoid

(04:30:49):
a difficult conversation. You mentioned the parents have
grown and changed immensely. Since this all happened.
Would you be able to discuss this with them, to get some
answers and work towards closure?
Perhaps once your back in therapy and have guidance?
Op I genuinely thought her parents were good.
People all my life or at least all her life.
It never crossed my mind. They weren't, I would have

(04:31:11):
fought harder for a better set of people had, I known.
They were the same type of Christians as my parents.
I'm definitely going to be speaking with my parents about
this with the facilitation of a mental health professional when
given the chance, honestly, my parents were such jerks and
Liars. When I was a kid, they genuinely
may not remember telling this specific lie.
They are pretty awesome people now and have spent like 15 years

(04:31:33):
working so hard to change. I obviously don't excuse their
behavior ever, but I do think they will be open to talk about
this and admit their part. If you're talking about speaking
with her parents, I really don'tthink that's going to happen.
Comment, six, I just asked this some seconds ago.
The parents who allowed to be raped and rugs wept, it are more
deserving of empathy consideration than the poor girl

(04:31:55):
innocent in all that mess. Come on Opie.
I know my parents, they raise me.
They are far far from perfect. I don't see them all the time,
but I have an established relationship with them.
That spans, 32 years. My biological child is a
stranger to me, I don't know her, I don't know her
intentions, I haven't spent 100sof hours in therapy with her

(04:32:17):
over nearly two decades, pickingapart and rebuilding our
relationship. She's now come to my home
Uninvited three times. After I've asked her multiple
times to leave me alone, she's stalk me at this point and I've
done nothing. But try to be sympathetic to
her. My parents aren't perfect
people, but they've spent over adecade fundamentally reassessing
who they are what they believe in the role they played in the

(04:32:39):
traumatic childhood of my brother.
And I they respect every boundary.
I asked of them nowadays, they know the part they played and
own up to how fucked if they were when I was a kid and they
are amazing parents to much muchyounger brother than they ever
heard of my brother. And I, my relationship with my
own parents is an Up For Debate here.
Op, just to make it clear. My parents, absolutely, never
allowed myself or my brother to be raped.

(04:33:01):
P. I never said, they were more
deserving of empathy than her. I don't think they are.
Additionally, my parents again far from perfect but did support
my brother myself. My maternal cousins, and my
paternal. And emotionally when we
testified against our rapist comment, 7, comment, deleted by
user. Op, I disagree.
I was a child, when I had her against, my will, I begged my

(04:33:24):
parents and then my grandmother to please not force me to give
birth. I don't know what more could be
asked of me. I made it clear.
I did not want contact with her,she pushed for contact, and I
gave it to her. I'm not going to lie to her.
Her adoptive, parents have already done enough of that.
I hope she heals. I hope she has a great life.
I just don't want any part of it.
Honestly. I hope she has a great

(04:33:45):
relationship with her biologicalgrandparents, my own parents, if
that's what she wants. I hope she meets them and I hope
they give her the biological connection.
She craves, they are entirely different people from when I was
young and I can honestly say they are good people.
Now, I would not classify Them as good parents, when I was
growing up. But decades, in a lot of therapy
can change things. I hope she finds joy.

(04:34:07):
I hope she finds peace. My step brother insisted that I
leave the house during my stepfather's burial believing.
It was his until the will revealed otherwise 38 year old
Jake never imagined, I would be getting ready for the burial of
my stepfather memory. Sweep back like a title wave as
I sit here, organizing old pictures and planning death

(04:34:28):
seems to cause one to consider alifetime of events, both
positive and negative. Eighty nine years old.
My mother, Sarah married. Richard my stepfather the
wedding day. Seems to me like yesterday, mom
looked lovely in her basic whiteoutfit.
Hope beaming in her eyes for a fresh start.
Richard on the other hand seemedto be stressing his austere
attitude by wearing a black suiteven on what ought to have been

(04:34:51):
a happy occasion. He insisted on a solemn demeanor
that I would come to know all too well over the years, Richard
was a rigid man right from the beginning.
Particularly when he turned to face me, he always seemed to be
permanently frowning often. I questioned whether he simply
had the means to relate to a child who wasn't his own.
Or if he harbored resentment at having to assume the position of
stepfather growing up with Richard was not easy from my

(04:35:14):
grades, to my wardrobe, to even how I handled my Fork at meals,
he attacked everything I did. You need to work harder or this
cruel world will chew you up andspit you out.
He said, almost daily Looking back.
I wonder if Dad was attempting to equip me for life in his own
flawed manner. Even if at the time I believed
he was just being nasty. His rigidity, permeated every

(04:35:34):
sphere of our life, I had to situp straight.
Use the proper fork. And only spoke when spoken to
during family, get togethers anydeparture from his expectations
was greeted with a stinging, stare or a harsh, correction
family vacations, which Auto have been lighthearted and
Leisure were more like military drills than pleasure,
excursions? Richard would schedule
everything down to the last minute.

(04:35:55):
Heaven. Help Us.
Should we stray from the plan? One Vacation.
I recall, we missed a turn and arrived at a museum. 15 minutes,
late for the rest of the day, Richard was in a terrible mood
grumbling about lost time and inadequate.
Preparation everything changed. Three years following the
wedding. When my step-brother Michael was
born Richard suddenly had his own son and it was obviously
clear whose favorite was he poured love and compliments on

(04:36:18):
Michael. Richard smile was unlike
anything. I'd seen till he held his
newborn kid it revealed. A part of Richard.
I never knew existed like a switch had been turned on.
I was envious and Furious. When I was 12 years old, I
couldn't comprehend. Why Michael received all the
love and attention while I just got harsh looks and criticism.
The difference was clear in agonizing, Michaels

(04:36:39):
achievements. No matter little were honored
with great celebration, even if they were notable, my own
successes were greeted with a knot and a remark on how I can
improve next time. Mom would try to reassure me.
When I protested to her, about the unfair treatment, Richard
loves you too Jake. She would say her eyes begging
me to understand, That's just rough love he wants.

(04:36:59):
You ready for the world? Still, it didn't feel like love
to me. It seemed like continual
disappointment, as Richard Sawmill always failing, our
family Dynamic changed in ways. I never would have predicted
throughout the years, mom becameill at 25 and we all gathered
around her, Richard stayed stoic, even then.
But I sensed compassion, when hefelt nobody else was looking,

(04:37:19):
when mom thought I wasn't in theroom, I would observe Him
Softly, changing her pillows or crutching her hand.
It was the first time I understood that Richards, lack
of affection could have been more result of his personal
constraints, than of his sentiments.
For us. Two years later, mom passed away
and it felt as though the glue, keeping our family intact had
broken tears and quiet prayers to find.

(04:37:40):
The funeral Richard stood like amonument all through the
service, his face. A blank mask though.
The wall between us seemed in surmounted to get in touch with
him. To express our loss, then 21
Michael left soon. After mom passed away, he
launched his own family. After tying, the knot with Emma,
his high school sweetheart. It was only me and Richard in
that large Mansion loaded with memories.

(04:38:01):
Suddenly I gave moving out some thought as well but something
held me back perhaps it was a feeling of obligation or perhaps
deep down. I was still that small boy
yearning, some indication of approval from the guy who had
been my father figure for most of my life.
Looking after Richard and his latter years was difficult.
Fighting the restrictions his aging body placed on him.
He was as tenacious and criticalas always, there were days when

(04:38:24):
our conflict was so thick. You could cut it with a knife
but occasionally too, I felt short Sparks of thanks in his
eyes like the time. I stayed up all night with him
during a sick attack or when I learned to make his preferred
Foods as he grew too frail to stand at the stove himself.
Those were uncommon events though and most of the time I
felt as though I was looking after a stranger who happened to
live in my house, we were livingin a tense truce, neither of us

(04:38:47):
entirely sure how to close the distance that had widened
between us over years. Richards character made me never
even consider entering a relationship or getting married.
I wanted none of the same issuesI was experiencing from my wife,
or girlfriend to confront Richard's, gone at 65.
Take an unexpectedly in the evening from a heart attack.
Everyone is showing their respect as I get ready for his

(04:39:07):
burial. Michael arrived with Emma and
their children. Lily, five years old and Max 3
years old, I hadn't seen him in years until now Though, he seems
older and more austere. I recall from our early years
that he exudes entitlement abouteverything, the funeral was a
depressing event. I stood there, listening to
people talk about Richard. A fantastic man who always

(04:39:27):
placed Family First a pillar of the community and I wanted to
find fun in the irony of it. All knowing the same, man, I
did. Did they to me the Richard, they
described seemed to be a stranger.
Michael drew me aside as folks were departing, once it was all
over. I consider that perhaps he
wished to assist each other in our sadness to reconnect or to
share memories of our childhood.Rather he delivered a startling

(04:39:50):
blow that left me whirling. So about the house.
He said his voice laid back as though we were talking about the
temperature. I'll need you to leave by the
end of the month. Not sure.
I glanced at him. What are you talking about?
He groaned and cast an intentionally obtuse glanced at
me, clearly the house. Dad turned it over to me.
Ultimately, I am his genuine son, you never imagined, he

(04:40:14):
would leave it to you. I thought of myself as having
been gutty pounded, this was howit turned out.
All these years of trying to be the son, Richard wanted and of
looking. After him part of me wanted to
fight for what I felt I had earned over years of
conscientious living, but another side of me, the one
still feeling like that 9 year old lading for affirmation
wanted to withdraw. Fine.

(04:40:35):
I answered my voice empty. I'll be out by the end of the
month, not only for Richard, butfor the family, I never really
had for the bond. I had always hoped would grow
between Richard and me but neverdid.
As I watched Michael walk away arm around.
Emma kids. Running ahead that evening.
I began packing among boxes of memories.
I wasn't sure. I wanted to save.
Sorting through years of accumulated.

(04:40:56):
Belongings, I couldn't help but wonder whether Richard had been,
right all along, sometimes you still ended up with nothing to
show for it? The world was harsh update.
I sold out of my childhood housea week ago.
For now mom's sister, Linda is here with me, trying to decide
what to do next thinking about Michael.
And how we got here, I lie awakeat night, staring at the foreign
ceiling. Michael obviously was the

(04:41:18):
preferred child growing up, Richard doted on him in a way.
He never did with me from the time.
He was born birthday celebrations, with all his
friends, invited new toys. Just because please smiles, when
he brought home a good report card, all things I had longed
for but never received I recall one birthday.
Michael was around eight years old, Richard hired a whole
arcade for his buddies and himself at the time.

(04:41:40):
I was 17 and couldn't help but contrast it with my own
birthdays, which often featured a quiet meal and perhaps a small
gift. But Michael aged in something
changed, the sweet little lad who used to follow me about
wanting to play developed into adepressed adolescent, who
appeared to hate everything and everyone, he started to treat me
like I was invisible and spoke angrily back to our parents.
It was like seeing a stranger sees, my little brother's body,

(04:42:03):
one specific occasion comes to mind when he was around 16.
Richard asked us about his markswhen we were having dinner.
Richard asked us both this kind of inquiry all the time.
It was a regular one. Michael burst this time though,
he began screaming about how he despised living under Richard's
control and how sick he felt of the pressure.
He bolted from the house, slamming the door.

(04:42:24):
So fiercely a picture fell, fromthe wall, Richard seemed to be
sitting there looking older and sadder than I had ever seen him
instead of the angry man. I had anticipated to pursue
Michael and drag back. Michaels Behavior just became
worse as he Grew Older. He began courting a series of
girls each relationship ending Hasley late nights, missing
curfews and shouting battles with Richard that rocked the

(04:42:47):
home about. I tried to keep out of it, but
the continual stress would inevitably affect me.
Michael laughed at off when Richard tried to discuss,
respect and Duty. You can't control me anymore, he
would say and Richard would get this expression.
A mix of Wrath and despair that I had never seen before.
Then arrived the day, he turned up with Emma as his bride, not

(04:43:08):
even Among Us knew, he was seeing someone seriously, let
alone getting ready for marriagewalking in, with Emma little
more than a teenage herself. He said they had eloped, I shall
never forget, Richard's expression for once he was
silent mom. Tried to call him things down,
and welcome Emma into the family, but the air was clearly
charged, Richard seemed to be straining, to keep his cool.

(04:43:28):
And to find the proper words to speak to his kid, Emma claimed,
she wanted to live free from family, meddling apart, Michael.
Thus packed his luggage and leftsimply as that he pledged to
visit and keep in touch. But those pledges soon dropped
off the list weeks, became months, devoid of his
communication. His calls were always quick and
often tinged with conflict. I assumed definitely he would

(04:43:50):
come back when mom fell ill, buthe did not.
He asked her periodically, how she was doing, but always, Had a
reason for why he couldn't visit.
Work was hectic. The kids were sick.
The car was in the shop. Something was always there,
hoping it would be Michael. I recall, sitting next mom's
hospital bed and seeing her eyesflash, every time the phone rang
more usually than not. It wasn't, it was me who had to

(04:44:13):
phone mom, to let her know. She died.
He sounded very offended full ofregret for not visiting more
frequently. He claimed, he would try to make
it to the funeral but ultimately, he did not show up
just a flower arrangement delivered to the funeral house
accompanied by a card offering. His sympathies feeling his
absence like a physical hurt. I stood at the burial wondering
how we had become so far apart and right now, here we are not

(04:44:36):
motivated by love or obligation.The Prodigal Son returns for
what he can gain. Thinking about how he swooped in
and grabbed the house acting as though he had some right to do.
So when he had left us years earlier, makes me enraged.
I consider all the evenings. I spent seeing to Richard, all
the doctors visits, I accompanied, all the meals I
made and all the expenses I paidand for what to be thrown aside

(04:44:58):
just like I never really mattered at all, but my phone
calls as I'm staggered in these terrible ideas.
It is Mr. Thompson Richards, attorney telling me he has to
talk about something vital. He sounds serious and asks me to
come back to the house tomorrow.Uncertain on what to believe.
Part of me hopes, there's a mistake and maybe I won't have
to abandon my house after all knowing how let down.

(04:45:19):
I have been in the past, anotherside of me is terrified to Hope.
I wonder what tomorrow will hold, as I hang up the phone,
whatever it is, I am clear one thing, this is not going to be
easy. I toss and turn the remainder of
the night. My head Ablaze with
possibilities something. So, crucial, that Mr. Thompson
had to see me, personally, Richard left something for me
after all, is it? Conceivable.

(04:45:41):
Alternatively. Is this only another letdown in
a long run of disappointments feeling like a stranger.
I stood before my childhood house the next day to my
astonishment, Michaels car was in the driveway already
breathing deeply. I entered the familiar Creak of
the front door. Sent a pulse through me sitting
at the dining room table, Mr. Thompson, had a stack of

(04:46:02):
documents before him, there wereMichael and Emma as well.
Clearly agitated with his demeanor unreadable the attorney
motion for me to see down, Seated.
Well, aware of the tension in the room.
Thank you all for coming. He said, with a firm business
like voice. I know this is a tough period,
but there are some crucial issues about Richard's will.
We should talk about Michael slanted forward a smug grin on

(04:46:24):
his face. Let's wrap this up.
I would want to start right awayas I have plans for this home,
Mr. Thompson cleared his throat,seeming uncomfortable.
We should really talk about thatRichards will states.
That Jake has been left the house.
And in fact, all of his possessions, the room went still
for a time. I felt as though I couldn't
breathe. Had I heard him precisely after

(04:46:46):
all these years of believing, I was never good enough, Richard
had left everything to me. The first to react was Michael
what he yelled leaping to his feet.
So fast his chair dropped backwards.
That's not possible. Real son of his father is me he
wouldn't hand everything to Jake.
Mr. Thompson stayed cool, under Michael's rage.
I'm rather worried. It's rather obvious Richards.

(04:47:08):
Will specifically says that Jakeis to inherit all of his
possessions, including the house, his savings, and his
personal items. What I was hearing defied
belief, it seemed illogical those years of criticism of
feeling as though I could never measure up.
And now this Michael was pacing.Now his face flushed with rage.
This is nuts. When he composed this, he must

(04:47:29):
have been insane. I'll dispute it I'll bring this
before. Court Mr. Thompson gave a
headshake that is not what I would counsel.
Richard prepared. This will rather carefully.
He included a letter outlining, his choice and had a tested and
notarized challenging. Effectively would be quite
difficult. Michael turned to face me.
His eyes, flaming with resentment You did this did not

(04:47:50):
you you somehow Twisted him against me.
Still in disbelief. Personally, I raise my hands.
About any of this, I knew nothing.
I assumed he was forwarding everything to you before things
could get much. More heated.
Mr. Thompson stepped in if I mayI think Richards letter might
help to clarify his choice. Pulling out an envelope, he
started to read to his sons. Should you be reading this?

(04:48:13):
I am gone though. I hope I can clarify.
I know your two may find my choice.
Shocking, I have made lots of mistakes over my life.
Among my largest was not treating both of my sons.
Equally, in terms of love, I expected too much from Jake was
too demanding, never showed enough, affection.
And I treated Michael to kindly,I never set appropriate limits

(04:48:34):
or imparted any lessons of value.
As I considered my life in my last year's, I came to see
something crucial. A real son is defined by
Behavior rather than blood. And in that sense, Jake behaved
as a real son ought to. He stayed with me, through
trying circumstances and looked after me.
Even when I didn't deserve it all the traits.
I attempted to teach, but fail to show myself, patience,

(04:48:56):
kindness and responsibility. He exhibited I am so leaving
everything to him not as a punishment to Michael.
But rather is a tribute to the kid who really embodied the
ideals. I cherish I hope you both have
the compassion to see in part ofthe errors of an elderly guy.
The room went still once Mr. Thompson closed, his book tears
came to me a lifetime of feelings rise inside me.

(04:49:17):
All those years, I felt, Richarddidn't care that.
He considered me a disappointment, but he had been
observing noting valuing in his own unique sense, Michael froze,
momentarily, his face, a mask ofshock and rage, then he silently
seized, Emma's hand, rushed out,slam the door behind him, his
automobile started up, and ran out of the driveway.
The last Act of Disobedience wasa tire Screech turning to me,

(04:49:41):
Mr. Thompson, wore a gentle grin.
I know this is a lot to absorb Jake.
He continued Richard, expressed his preferences, quite
precisely, he wished for you a safe future free from Financial
concerns. I nodded still not sure.
I understood exactly what had transpired, thank you.
I managed to say I need some time to consider all this Mr.

(04:50:02):
Thompson stopped as he neatly folded, his documents there is
still one more item. Your stepfather left you a
personal note as well. You read it in private.
He questioned, he gave me an envelope.
With my name written in, Richard's, recognizable,
handwriting on it. I took it knowing that within
our words, I had waited a lifetime to hear with shaky
hands. I sat by myself in the quiet
house, flipping the envelope in my hands after Mr. Thompson

(04:50:25):
departed. At Last, I plucked the will to
open it and read Jake dear, though.
I know I've never been excellentat communicating my emotions.
Hopefully, this letter will helpto offset some of my faults.
I'm glad of the man, you have evolved into though, I failed as
a parent, I had a challenging upbringing and never taught
appropriate affectionate Behavior.
I reasoned that the best way to equip you for life was to be

(04:50:46):
rigorous and challenge. You, I regret the suffering I
caused you now. I understand, I was mistaken,
particularly in these last several years, your compassion
and commitment have shown me what?
Actual strength and integrity look like you.
Now more than ever reflect the guy I always dreamed you would
be I apologies for. Not telling you these things
when I was living with my last wishes and this letter, maybe

(04:51:08):
you will have some peace and protection.
Remember yourself, son? You are deserving of all the joy
of available love Richard. Tears came down my face.
As I closed the book, all those years of feeling inadequate of
thinking, Richard didn't care. And now, this was overpowering
over the next days I battled to make sense of everything, once a
cause of stress and bad memoriesthe house different.

(04:51:29):
Now it belonged to me in a deeper sense, as much as
legally, it was evidence of Richard's affection since year
of spoken to late, Michael hasn't gotten in touch since he
departed that day, not sure whether he will though, I know
it will take time part of me hopes.
We can reconcile someday the pain is still raw and our
distances more than it. Did years ago, I have given

(04:51:51):
family the complexity of love and the numerous ways people
show it. A lot of thought, though, often
harsh Richards, love was sincere.
It was flawed in his own sense. He was working to equip me for
life and build my resilience. Though, I wish he could have
discovered a softer approach, I now better understand him
regarding inheritance. It goes beyond just money.
And real estate. One has responsibility, Richard

(04:52:14):
trusted me to continue on his legacy and to live the ideals,
he loved, although it's a difficult work, I'm resolved to
meet expectations. I have chosen to create a
scholarship fund in Richard's name from a portion of the
bequest. It's for children from difficult
situations so they may have the education and chances they might
otherwise miss taking the teachings, he imparted on me and
paying them forward. Seems like the proper approach

(04:52:36):
to honor his memory. I'm still trying to make sense
of everything as I sit here now in the house that turned
unexpectedly into mine, Fathers and Sons have a complex
relationship marked by frequently.
Unsaid feelings and misunderstandings Richard, and I
never had the relationship. I wanted when he was alive, but
his last act has given me an opportunity to better know him
to see the love. Always there buried under the

(04:52:57):
surface. I wish dad had told me these
things. During his lifetime we could
have had talks clear the air, perhaps even Created the
relationship. I saw yearn for but life does
not always provide us tidy ends or Flawless closure right now,
I'm concentrating on respecting,Richard's memory by practicing
the ideals. He sought to inculcate in me
work hard, be conscientious, andmost importantly, love those who

(04:53:20):
matter. I'm glad to be carrying on a
legacy looking ahead. I experience a range of emotions
sadness for what was lost, thankfulness for what I have and
hope for what is to come Richards unexpected.
Legacy has given me a fresh perspective of family love and
forgiveness. In addition to financial
stability, though, I never expected it.
This is a new chapter in my lifeand I am ready to face it.

(04:53:41):
Bearing with me the lessons of the past and hope for a better
future, that might ultimately bethe best inheritance of all.
After my sister stole from me, my mother wants to defend her,
by sending me to military school.
This took place when I was 14 years old, approximately one
year before the divorce of my parents, my younger sister would
always spend her allowance as ifit were water, particularly on

(04:54:04):
things like makeup meals from the mall video games and
clothing from Hot Topic that shepurchased in spite of the fact
that I was also given an allowance.
My father made me earn it by cleaning the house and working
in. The yard, my mother never forced
my sister to do any duties with the exception of cleaning her
room and my sister never did anything, she didn't want to do.
Unless her father was present toOverseer in order to acquire

(04:54:26):
additional funds, I mowed lawns collected abandoned cans from
various locations throughout thearea in order to exchange them
for a five cent deposit and performed various other odd
tasks across the neighborhood. I was putting money down at the
time in order to get a scooter so that I could go around town
during the course of two years. I was able to save almost 2000
dollars by working a variety of odd jobs and putting away the

(04:54:47):
majority of my allowance. The accumulation of that money,
on the other hand was not a simple task primarily because of
my sister, despite the fact thatshe was aware of all the small
hiding places where I used to keep my money, she would steal
from them. The following is a memorable
passage that I have paraphrased from what I remember my
response. Hey sis, did you take my money
again? Sister.

(04:55:09):
What is it know? When she was caught in the act
of lying? She would stutter You are a
terrible liar. I said to you $100 is missing
from my savings account. Sis is saying, leave me alone.
I didn't do it. She begins to act as if she is
crying and then rushes to her mother.
Sis is saying. Mommy bro is picking on me my
response. She stole from my savings again.

(04:55:31):
Shut up my mother yelled at me while snapping her fingers.
Is it not obvious? That Mama's little girl is
feeling upset. That is all there is to it.
She said that she did not do it,so it is safe to assume that she
did not do it in that case, I'llput you on the ground.
If you don't let this go, the other person.
I know she did it and if you don't get the money back, I'll
get Dad's help Mom. There is no longer any

(04:55:53):
requirement for that. Another thing is that you don't
have any evidence that she stoleyour money.
Yes, I do says, I every single dollar that I add to, it is
recorded in a ledger. That I keep a total of X was
reached three days ago. However, at this point, there is
only why there is a missing 100 dollars and you are aware that
she is already stolen from my savings account on multiple

(04:56:15):
occasions. That being said, I am aware that
sis has already used up all of her stipend for this month but
you still went shopping yesterday.
Exactly. Where did she obtained the
money? Don't you think following a
brief moment of reflection mom scales?
What do you know? Mr. You are firmly planted.
I'm going to grab the belt. If you do not go to your room,

(04:56:35):
she said I had the ability to discuss the matter further.
However, if there is one thing that I picked up from being in
that environment, it was the knowledge of when to stop
talking and simply call my father, therefore, without
uttering a single word to eitherof them.
I made my way to my room and slammed the door shut after
that, I reach for my brick like Nokia cell phone, which I had at

(04:56:56):
the time and dialed my father's number while he was at work.
After he did not pick up the phone, I left a message in which
I explained everything, he contacted me back about an hour
later inured me, that he will take care of the situation, not
long after that. I heard the ringing of the
landline phone in the house. And then I heard my mother
yelling at my father, as she wason the phone in the kitchen.
It was difficult for me to listen from my room.

(04:57:18):
And the only thing I managed to pick up on was my mother trying
to excuse her behavior when she was in the wrong.
However, that strategy was neversuccessful and she ended up
saying something along the linesof fine.
In the event that she did, in fact, steal the money, your
obligated to repay it because she has already spent it on the
other hand. My mother yelled at me while she

(04:57:38):
threw open my door. You little snitch.
I can't believe you. Blew the whistle on me.
You couldn't just let a little money slip through your fingers
after everything I do for you, my response.
So, you admit that my sister took it, then a sneering mother
says, you know what? It makes no difference to me.
More money is required by girls than by boys.
There is no reason why you shouldn't just hand it over to

(04:58:00):
her. Simply said it wasn't even that
much. It wasn't just a little money,
and you ought to know that I said, in spite of the fact that
she took 100 dollars, I would still want it back.
Even if it was only one dollar, if someone stole from your
purse, you would not want it to happen to you.
The same thing would happen. If my sister stole from me, she

(04:58:20):
is guilty as you are aware one way or another.
I want that money backdated. She did nothing while I put
great effort on it. Mom, my darling has no
responsibilities. She is a princess and ought to
be treated accordingly. Me that isn't what bothers me.
She may go be a princess away from my possessions and away
from me, Mom, that's it. You tiny expletive.

(04:58:42):
I'm going to knock your ass me standing up and staring her eye
to eye. As I was already as tall as her
at 14 and pretty strong. From all the outdoor work.
I was doing, go ahead and try itsince I did nothing wrong.
I Won't Let You My Mother Frozenposition for a second then let
out a loud Ray and swung her armto try and knock something off
my dresser, but she swung too low struck the dresser itself

(04:59:04):
which I assume truly hurt. She was giving me a terrible
face as she grasped her hand to try and hold in the agony.
Her teeth were snarling. She simply turned around then
and left when she didn't weigh was to go to her wine fridge and
proceeded to get drunk. I heard her making a racket
yelling and smashing the wall asshe went down the hall.
Down the stairs into the kitchen.
Doing her regular routine. When she didn't sway was denied

(04:59:26):
from her bedroom door. My sister was watching me.
She glanced at me scared and ran.
Back inside her room. Slamming, the door mom was fast
changing. She was her race in the hole for
getting away with a horse. She did to me, my dad came home
from work a few hours later in March, my sister into my room to
see me. She admitted to pilfering from
me, then informed me. I was not grounded sis refused

(04:59:48):
to even look at me the entire time.
She was being ordered to apologize and she did.
So in the most quiet and squeakyvoice at first, until my dad
regularly told her to speak up till she was almost screaming.
It Dad, then handed me a 100 dollars cash to cover.
What my sister stole and mentioned.
She was grounded for a week, thepill for money will show up from
her. Stipend She began crying and
called Dad horrible, then dashedto her room.

(05:00:09):
Ignoring all of us, my mother merely sat on the rear patio in
toxicated on her third wine. She never apologized to me and
even behaved as though the wholeincident never took place.
My sister still received her next allowance as well but at
that time my mother gave it to her rather than my dad on my
dad's day off from work. A few days later, we visited a
nearby retailer, where he purchased a combination safe to

(05:00:31):
deposit, my money and other little items in.
We omitted telling my mother or sister, I had it.
It was set for a four-digit codeto the best of memory.
I used 4,962 back then, after locking the safe and emptying,
all of my money into it. I stored it at the rear of my
closet, a few weeks passed and one day after returning, from
mowing, some neighbors, I discovered, my room had been

(05:00:52):
rifled to let her know what sis did to my room.
I gave my mother a call Mom saidmy baby didn't do this.
Well then did you? I said, Mom know me.
Well, it could only have been one of you.
No one else was here and this room was clean.
When I left, Mom, clearly upset at getting caught by reason,

(05:01:13):
Fine, but if she did then, so what you had it coming from not
being kinder to her. Anyhow, She then turned to dash
off. I phone my dad once more and
left another note, explaining what, transpired on his work
answering machine. I then went to tell my sister, I
knew she was the one who tore apart my room.
I said she couldn't get to my money anymore since I had
locked. It up in a safe before she could

(05:01:33):
even try to respond to me. She then had an awful fit and
naturally nasty. Mama bear came running to save
her. My sister kept wailing in her
room for the next 20 minutes while.
I reiterated that CIS couldn't get at my money anymore and
returned to clean her room, onlythrown, and spread around
nothing was truly missing or ruined.
I gathered everything and restored it exactly how it was.

(05:01:55):
Still, it was the most arrogant I had ever felt as I cleaned my
room. The next day though, I
discovered it ripped once more and this time, my window was
damaged too, not able to get thesafe open sis, had thrown it out
the window. I immediately contacted my
father and when my parents returned from work, my sister
came clean about having done it as if she were glad of herself.

(05:02:15):
Saying, I shouldn't have received the safe in the first
place. My mother really tried to side
with her, but my dad shoot her up and stated.
He got it for me since he was sick and tired of her stealing
from me. My dad has to pay me back each
time, she pilfers money from me and spends it since my mother
never would, my dad got me a lock for my door and even a
combination key lock box with the key to my room.

(05:02:35):
Next, to the door, we had to replace the complete window from
my room. After shattering my window, my
sister ground herself for a month and spent that whole time
pining in her room, mom, always let Dad go back to do what she
wanted like watching TV or playing video games whenever he
was home till he left work. Knowing that my sister and
mother would have gone out of their way to make me more
miserable. I decided not to say anything

(05:02:58):
once her month-long grounding ended, my sister started
pestering me for money, each time.
She spent all of her stipend, she never saved anything.
Hence, I just pointed out to her.
That she would never pay it back.
To be honest, I created an IOU to see whether she would really
sign it before. Dad, she ripped the paper in
half later. And went crying to Mom once
more, over my rudeness mom, and she would try to make me cough

(05:03:20):
up the money for her, but I would remind her what Dad would
do. Thus, if my sister needed any
more money, it wouldn't come from me, my mom, then actively
sought to send me to military school, but Dad objected.
Also for anyone wondering why mydad didn't simply assist me.
Create a savings account back, then I honestly don't know.
Saving it in cash. Seems like the way we handled
things update. I once made my mother walk

(05:03:43):
straight into my door. My sister had thrown my save
through my bedroom window, so shortly after my dad provided me
a safe for my money. He also got me a deadbolt lock
for my door with a wall mounted lock box, requiring a code to
access the key together. We installed the lock and lock
box, while my sister and mother were not home.
My sister came back and initially walked past my room.
I watched her glance at the Lock, then dashed to get Mom

(05:04:06):
coming thundering. Down the stairs, to meet, my dad
and me was both of them. What I recall is the following
paraphrased. Mom says pointing and snapping a
few times. What the hell is that?
Father a door? Lock mom.
I know what the expletive thing is, why is it in their dad?
Because you never see fit to reprimand or stop our daughter

(05:04:27):
from taking from Kegel or ransky, his room, the lock
stays. So, going forward, mom, This is
my house and he is just 14. His door.
Cannot have a lock. Dad said, no, this is our house.
Last, I checked, though, I paid most of the expenses, including
the mortgage. You seldom pay, anything, and
I'm tired of you giving our daughter.

(05:04:47):
Such preference that Kegel suffers constantly mom says,
well then I demand, you tell me the code for the lockbox at
least deadpan staring Dad. I'm not doing that because
you've shown, I can't trust you anymore.
Mom, then blasted her top and rushed down the steps.
My sister merely stood there pouting and then made slow walk
into her room with the new lock things were good.

(05:05:08):
It became second nature to me tolock it.
Each time I left my bedroom manytimes when I entered the code,
to obtain the key, I spotted my sister and mother staring at me,
but I always made sure to conceal their line of sight
using my hand or body, though. They hated that there was
nothing they could do about it. One day late in the month.
My sister came begging me for 40dollars to get a video game.

(05:05:29):
She absolutely desired. Me, why do you keep asking for
money? When you and I both know, you'll
never pay it back sis. I swear, I'll pay it back me,
you won't, you know, you would much prefer spend all of your
allowance than pay me back. You spend everything you have
then some each month. That's what you do.
Always sis know, I do not well, then how about we test that I

(05:05:52):
asked. Always have a witness for
contracts, folks, I then went into my room, acquired a piece
of paper. In a pain hand, wrote an IOU.
Contract stating CIS would pay me back, the 40 dollars upon
receiving, her monthly stipend, and dad would co-sign the IOU.
After reading the paper s began sniffling.
She ripped it in half, and then ran screaming to Mom.
Once more like she did, every single time her way was denied

(05:06:15):
mom, sis bowing. Sobbing mom, what is it?
Darling, small prints. What then did Kegel do me?
I asked her to sign an IOU fronting dad as she wanted to
borrow money. She then started to Freckle mom.
And why would you pursue that? She merely sought a small loan
me. Would you sign the IOU?

(05:06:37):
So to make sure she pays the money back Mom says you little
expletive. I am not required to sign
anything now. Only loan her, the money me.
Not without a signed IO. You Mom stood up arm out.
As if about to strike me, then pulled back Mom, you have to
have a paper trail for everything.
You're just like your father, I love I'd say it's a good thing.

(05:07:00):
I'm just like Dad because it's far better than being just like
Sis's because you never do anything good.
Me beginning to stroll up the stairs to my room at this point
mom asked what was that you little expletive?
Just as I entered my bedroom andlocked the door, she started
hurrying up the stairs back. Then my mother used to yell at
me by throwing open my bedroom door.

(05:07:21):
She opened the in one sweeping stroke lunging, her body
forward. But at this point, I had only
had the lock on my door for a brief while, so she wasn't used
to it yet. She tried to throw, open my
door, and smashed rather loudly directly into the deadbolt.
After I shut it. Then I heard her slumped to the
ground and begin to produce agonizing cries.
She had very hard banged her body and face against the door.

(05:07:41):
Her lip was plump and her forehead developed a bump.
From this old fashioned solid wood door.
She was spread out on the floor.Pounding, her fist.
When I opened the door. Mom, exclaimed, you did this to
me. You little expletive me, you did
it to yourself. Mom, you are anchored, get away
from my sight. I then call Dad and he simply

(05:08:01):
grumbled over the phone over theentire matter.
He stated I wasn't grounded but I was still in huge trouble for
goating her until to let him handle her when he got home.
That was about it. Dad gave me a harsh lecture at
the end, coupled with extra housework and a cut in my Stipe
in that month every time sis begged for money.
Following that day, I asked her to sign an IOU.
She truly did object to that update too.

(05:08:24):
It blew up in her face when my mother tried to have me sent to
military school and produced my dad's signature.
When I stood up to my mother when she threatened to spank me,
she seemed to get more cautious that if she tried to harm me, it
would end very poorly for her the final time.
She mainly yelled at me. She never laid a finger on me
ever more until years later whenshe wanted my house, I gave it.

(05:08:45):
No thought and carried on with my regular schedule of classes
and odd work right around my 15th birthday.
My dad gave me an engine kit formy bike to get around town.
I would be better off saving fora car than a scooter.
He advised and this would help. Now, I stayed saving for a car
and finally agreed with his reasoning.
A few days later though, I came over a military academy leaflet

(05:09:06):
while clearing grass off the rear patio.
After mowing the yard, it was onthe floor, under a chair close
to where my mother preferred to sit and sip wine.
I waited until my dad arrived home to show him what I had
discovered, I felt she was planning some sort of mad
scheme. He went to see my mom with the
booklet and asked her about it since he was so what I rate but
didn't jump to judgements. Dad said, honey, what's this mom

(05:09:29):
becomes white upon seeing the leaflet.
Nothing I had never seen it before.
Dad. Exactly.
You know, I wouldn't let you send Kegel to military school.
If you intended to try to send him mom broke her front at that
and explained he has to learn some discipline.
He locks his door off and hence,I am unable to even spank him
anymore. As he is too big.

(05:09:49):
This is the only means I have left to chastise him for being a
disobedient brat, dad. Kegel stood up to you for your
silly, favoritism and did nothing wrong.
Given you, in the way you treat her and let her get away with
stealing from her brother. Our daughter is the BRAT if
anything and as far as I'm concerned this conversation
about sending Kegel to military school is closed.

(05:10:09):
Should you try to send him then?Help me, I will bring the hammer
down on you, whatever method I can Mom.
Well, I guess this entire familyis just going to take away.
What little power. I have left in this house then
Should I have nothing I could aswell be nothing.
Dad. You and I both know, you would
much choose Keel over, being nothing cut back on your
theatrical Behavior. Now, a guy with his own money

(05:10:32):
Kegel is growing up, mom left the room, angrily.
Then before school the next morning, I watched her
desperately attempting to fit something into the kitchen
garbage. Can I dug out what she was
trying to hide while waiting forher to head out for work?
She filled out the military school application, totally in
her hand on it, both parents or legal, Guardians had to sign the

(05:10:52):
paper. Included, two signatures, I
understood moms but the other seemed to be a poor attempt to
copy dads. His sleek and sophisticated
signature was something. He took great satisfaction in.
There is no way my mother could replicate it without seeming
like fraud. She probably understood it once
she was confronted in gave up a tempting to send me away.
Later, I showed my dad the papers and kept them though.

(05:11:14):
He was Furious. He let it go, knowing she had
done it already. Still he filed the paperwork,
right? In case a few more months.
Later word leaked out that my mother was seeing an old high
school ex-boyfriend. My dad filed for divorce.
That was his last straw months later after he acquired another
house, I moved in with him. Pulling out the military school
records, my mom had created withhis signature.

(05:11:36):
He accelerated the divorce rather fast and it wasn't only
that. He also had evidence.
She created his signature on at least one credit card
application and one other thing,I don't remember which made mom
worried about being arrested forfraud, she agreed to most of his
requirements. So they proceeded really quickly
through Court, dad didn't want the house.
So mom bought it. Nevertheless she also insisted

(05:11:57):
on alimony and child support since my sister, predictably
decided to remain living with her for a decade of monthly
payments. The judge, granted, my mother
child support and a minimal alimony award.
Alimony essentially paid, my sister's allowance.
Anyhow, mom was really irate about that and vowed to bring
him back to court. But for years, he held the
falsified signatures over her head to Calmar my sister threw

(05:12:19):
out her mouth at me and smugly claimed mom.
Informed her. She was a princess and the more
deserved sibling. So explaining the reason I was
leaving the house not caring anymore.
I merely shook my head and advised her to consider what she
wants. Then I went out the door.
At last as free as a bird. My connection with my sister who
paid once weekly visits to Dad'sresidents, deteriorated until at

(05:12:40):
last we stopped communicating completely for years.
Mom's residents hardly appealed to me.
She essentially turned my formerroom into a home office anyway.

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