I was mauled by a bear, fought it off, and drove 4 miles down a mountain with my face hanging off.

I was mauled by a bear, fought it off, and drove 4 miles down a mountain with my face hanging off.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Reddit, asked me anything, I was mauled by a bear,
fought it off, and drove four miles down a mountain
with my face hanging off. Ask me anything Hello. My
name is Elena Hansen. In two thousand and eight, while
I was working on my isolated mountain property, I was
mauled by a predatory black bear. Saved by my thumbnail

(00:21):
and my two faithful ranch dogs, I hiked out of
a box canyon and drove myself four miles down a
rutted logging road to our little rural fire station, from
which I was elected to UCLA Medical Center. There, I
underwent eight hours of emergency surgery and survived a subsequent
tonslaught of La reality television's media hounds. Five years and

(00:42):
a dozen surgeries later, I'm back to some semblance of
my original self. Warning. The following content may contain graphic imagery.
Viewer discretion is advised. I won't show what she looked
like after she got molled, since I don't want to
get demomatized, but here's a blurred previewcy picks are shown
later in the video. Stay tuned. What was going through

(01:05):
your mind as you drove back down the mountain. For
one thing, I didn't expect to make it down the mountain,
so there was an air of the surreal about it,
sort of like a crazy Disney ride. But mostly when
I realized that I might indeed make it to the
fire station, there was this enormous sense of elation. The
pain must have been excruciating, though, wasn't it? Or were

(01:27):
you in shock or something? Mercifully one forgets the actual sensation,
but I wrote about it at the time, knowing I
wouldn't remember what it was like if I didn't get
it down in the near term. The desire to survive
overrides everything else, so the pain became superfluous to keeping
myself alive. Curiously, many of the nerves in my face

(01:48):
were severed in the attack, so there wasn't a specific pain,
just an overweening one and a whole lot of blood.
The horror was the hard part, numbing in fact, just
not molled by a bear. Better take a note, dear Diary,
mood ah wow will allow. How did you deal with
the whole ordeal after your first operation? Emotionally and physically well?

(02:13):
I wrote a book. Surprisingly, I didn't have the expected nightmares, flashbacks,
panic attacks, yet how one might have expected. Mostly, I
was so stoked at the incredible job Doctor Lee had
done on my reconstruction. I felt I'd be letting everyone
down if I didn't do my damn desk to heal
and recover physically, I had to relearn how to speak, eat,

(02:35):
even breathe properly. But through it all, I was motivated
by wanting to let people know that if a little
old lady could survive something like this, so could they.
Is there anything you can compare that kind of pain too? No,
having a baby was a piece of cake in comparison,
Maybe like being smacked in the head by an ambul

(02:56):
If I ever found myself being attacked by a bear,
what advice would you give me? If it's a grizzly bear,
play dead. If you're in California, it's a black bear,
fight back with everything you've got because it's trying to
kill you. If it's a polar bear, you're ducked. If
it's brown, stay down. If it's black, attack now confirmed

(03:18):
to be true. If it's white, good night, Except that
black bears can be black, red, brown, black, and white,
golden tan russ or mottled best to go by the
state you're being attacked in. California has black bears, So
if you're in California and a bear as eating you,
you're best fight back. If you're in the pnw W Montana,

(03:40):
where they also have grizzlies, things may become a bit
more problematic. Edit epic redundancy. Are you ducking with me? What?
That's not true about the polar bear thing climb a tree?
They can't climb as a manitubun. I know this, cool info.
Thanks for this. I'll remember that then next time I'm
being mauled by a polar bear. So did I read

(04:03):
correct that you have met Hunter S. Thompson? If so,
what was your impression of him? That the human body
can survive more pharmaceutical assault than you ever thought possible.
Thanks so much for doing this. I actually heard about
you before. What breed are your dogs? Deeke was a
massive and arcades an Irish wolfhound. As it turns out,

(04:24):
the two very best breeds I could have had in
this situation. As the mastiff instinctively goes for ground they
were bred to bait bears, and the wolfhound keeps it
at bay. Irish wolfhounds should be classified as horses. Too
bad they don't eat hay instead of roast beef. I'm
morbidly curious. Could you see out of the eye that

(04:44):
was hanging down your face? My eyeballer was not hanging
down onto my face, but it was bitten and the
other eyelid torn off. I only allowed myself a brief
look into the rear view mirror, but it was so awful.
I just laughed and kept driving. I just laughed and
kept driving. H O l y shit. It beat the alternative.

(05:06):
Funny how hysteria works as a defense mechanism. The human
body has an amazing wall to live. PA. That's so
ducked Okay, hospital time. Godamn, you're awesome. I would imagine
that people driving next to you would see the blood
coming from your face. Did anyone try and stop and help?
The road was more of a dirt trail than an

(05:26):
actual road. I've never seen another vehicle up there in
all the years I've lived here, so the chances I'd
run into anyone were slim. Indeed, the adrenaline was going crazy.
She probably drove like a goddamn manak. Yet also I
couldn't see anything, which made for a rollicking good time.
Did you have that moment of seeing your life flash

(05:48):
before your eyes? No, nor did I see gesus. But
I knew that this was the moment of my death,
and it pissed me off enormously, so much in fact,
that it inspired me to fight back, which turned out
to be the right decision. I think you had so
much grit. You seem like such a wonderful, tough woman,

(06:08):
and I am so thankful that you decided to share
your story. Thank you, and thanks so much for your
kind words. I can imagine you're inside the bear's jaw.
Come a wow, I'm going to die. I'm actually going
to wait. What the duck? This is how I am
going to die? Duck? This shit had oaken exactly. I

(06:29):
would like to just say that you look fantastic and
you're after photos, and thank you for doing this ask
me anything. Thank you so much. I owe it all
to my fabulous surgeon, Dr. Kimberly Lee and some very
good lighting. How did it feel to have half your
face hanging off? I woke up during surgery with part
of my scalp face peeled back, and it was a

(06:51):
very strange experience. But I was sedated how was this
for you? I mean, obviously it was painful, but anything else,
it felt a cold, like it belonged to somebody else
and I was just inside watching. How much were you?
Medical bills? My crappy insurance company only covered about twenty
percent of what I needed done. Good gold mauled by

(07:14):
a bear than mauled by bla cross, So I'll be
paying these bills off for the rest of my life.
So far, expenses have been about three hundred k in counting.
That's horrible. Wtf is living near bears considered a pre
existing condition or something? My policy doesn't cover dental, optical,
or cosmetic the major injuries I suffered. Health insurance is

(07:37):
the biggest scam on the planet. The company makes their
money by denying their policyholder's service. What was the drive
to the fire station like? For you? What was going
through your head? And this may sound strange, but did
you listen to music? It was like the wackiest Disney
ride ever. I alternated between elation and despair, but figured,

(07:57):
what the heck, I'm not likely to live through this anyway,
so here's my one chance to drive like a total
donkhead with impunity. Fortunately, the dirt track was so remote
that the likelihood of running into anyone else was approaching
nol Frankly, I expected to go carrying over the cliff side,
so I just spun the wheel and stomped on the
brakes as the spirit moved me. No music, just my

(08:21):
monacle laughter echoing off the canyon walls. Colon, If you
were to do something to prevent this from happening to
you again, what would you do? When I'm outside now?
I watch my six. It was something of a fluke,
as black bears rarely attack human beings, But my tomboy girlfriends,
who liked to run and bike in the back country,

(08:41):
learned a valuable lesson from this. We all make sure
we go out, whether dog or two now and stay alert. Personally,
I spend a lot of time looking up into the
trees for lions. I also live on a ranch, and
my mom always takes bear spray and bells when she
goes hiking or running. Shits cash very wise, but I worry.

(09:01):
It just alert then that dinner is coming and with
its own seasoning. What have you learned most from this experience?
Do you have a different outlook on life because of
this happening to persist. As to the second part of
your question, I'm still trying to figure that out. I
a bit more wary in the wild places, which ruins
some of the sanctity I used to find there, and

(09:24):
I resent that. But mostly I am the same person
I've always been, just a bit Lampierre hire Lenna, thanks
for doing and ask me anything. Did you quit your
job at the ranch? Has this changed your perspective of animals?
Did you provoke the animal or have any idea why
it would attack you? One, My ranch is my job.

(09:45):
I can't quit it too. I have to admit the
whole misadventure has made me a lot more wary of
animals with big teeth. We tend to take for granted
that they are not going to kill us. Sometimes that's
just not true. Three. I think it was a predator.
I reattacked by a desperate creature. It was probably hungry,
disoriented from the recent wildfire, and taking a territorial stand.

(10:08):
It certainly knew I was there and it had been
stalking me. Probably figured I was an easier dinner than
a deer, which has hoofs and ANTLERSM can now trun it.
Little old ladies aren't supposed to fight back. How have
you recovered physically? Sorry to ask this, but what specific
injuries or damages did you actually suffer? Btw, you are

(10:29):
awesome and spectacular. Thanks. If you didn't know about the
attack and saw me on the street, you probably wouldn't
even look twice. Kimberly Lee is one hell of a
good plastic surgeon, but I suffered some pretty gruesome injuries
to my face and head. In fact, in the epidix
you can't even tell I'm a human being. I've had
doctors look at the picture and turn it around trying

(10:51):
to figure out where the face is in it. Basically,
what happened is that the bear charged, grabbed me by
the ears and bit into my face. In doing so,
it destroyed the bridge of my nose, tore off my ears,
chewed out fourteen teeth, and much of my upper gums
and palette. It also ripped off my lips and tore
apart my face and scalp. Kimberly Lee estimated that she

(11:13):
put over a thousand stitches into my head and face
during the first surgery. Me right after surgery, I Amgod
dot comlink me today. I Amgod dot comlink. Did it
seem to go in slow motional Was it more like
a quick motion of you sticking its eye with your
thumb and getting away. Everything happened in real time, no

(11:36):
distortions at all. I knew that should I survive this,
I'd have one hell of a story to tell, So
I made a conscious decision to note and remember every
possible detail so I could write it all down if
I made it out of there, and I did. I
worked in the ERATUKTA back in two thousand and eight.
I remember you. I'm glad you're doing well. That makes

(11:57):
me happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the
credible job you guys did on me. The most tumbling
thing about this whole escapade is knowing that one hundred
brilliant and dedicated people came together as a team to
save a literally faceless stranger. I am indebted to you all.
Every time I'll look in a mirror or look period
that U ce La as my Almi maator. My father

(12:18):
was in in the first graduating class at UCLA Med
and my sister was in the class of eighty five.
Makes it all the sweeter. Go Bruins. When you got
to the fire station. What did you say do? What
did your dogs do once you called them over? And
did they survive? Thanks for doing this, and you look gorgeous.
Your surgeon must have been great. When I got to

(12:40):
the fire station, my big concern was that when they
saw me they'd faint, so I decided to try for levity.
So I walked into the garage bay and yelled, honey,
I'm home. Then proceeded to give them every bit of
personal informant and I could remember name, blood type, shoe size.
First off, they they both lived, not that much worse

(13:01):
for wear. Once I called them, they came running. I
don't remember much after that, but there was a lot
of fur and blood and growling and yelping. They diverted
the bear long enough for me to get up and escape.
Thank you. My surgeon, Kimberlyle MD is a genius. So
if anyone out there need a face lift, give her

(13:22):
office a call and tell them I sent you. She's
in Beverly Hills. Thanks for the ask me anything. How
has your perspective of wildlife and protecting in that your
dangerous animals changed? Do you still enjoy the outdoors? I
still love the outdoors, but I'm a lot more cautious
about my surroundings. Some of the sanctity has been destroyed

(13:43):
for me, and for that I grieve. I'm still an
avid advocate for wild things, but until they started paying
property tax, I'm going to assert my dominance. Roe. You
made it to the end. You're a ducking beast. I'll
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