March 21, 2023 • 25 mins
Sasha Giles is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, with over 12 years of professional experience in various behavioral health settings, including: behavioral health hospitals, outpatient counseling agencies, medical offices, community agencies and academia. Ms. Giles has worked with colleagues to publish a research review exploring the protective factors that support the reduction of depression and anxiety amongst African American youth. Currently, Ms. Giles is working as an independent counselor at Journeys Counseling Center, LLC, with an emphasis around dismantling the negative stigma of mental health within communities of color.
Give it to the People Live is a visual and audio podcast which provides our listeners with an opportunity to meet and greet BIPOC and Women entrepreneurs and business owners, partners, and service providers. Each episode features a great conversation and insight into intriguing businesses, programs, and organizations focused on building a Growth Mindset and Mental Wealth.
Give it to the People Live is a visual and audio podcast which provides our listeners with an opportunity to meet and greet BIPOC and Women entrepreneurs and business owners, partners, and service providers. Each episode features a great conversation and insight into intriguing businesses, programs, and organizations focused on building a Growth Mindset and Mental Wealth.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. When you're tuned in,
you're with Lady Business and give it to the People
Radio where you're going to get enlightened, enhanced, empowered and enriched.
Make sure that you always tune in to give it
to the People Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, welcome back everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
We are here doing a special episode series with Just
Me Therapy podcast, and this is going to give you
insight into the three women that are behind this podcast
that are all mental health professionals that are here to
really help you understand a little bit more about yourself.
And so this podcast is something that they is a
labor of love for them. And so today I want
(00:43):
to bring on Sasha. So, Sasha, Hello, how are you.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm doing well. How about yourself? I am doing well.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
So I want you to just give people a little
bit of background about Sasha Jiles. And you know what
made you decide, listen, therapy is the thing for me
to do.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm going to do this therapy thing. Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
So I did a lot of different work with after
school programs, and I went to a lot of leadership
conferences in middle school and high school. And I had
someone who was that support emotional support for me when
I was younger. So after doing all of that, it
made me, it motivated me to want to work in
a system where we're joining people together or at least
(01:24):
try to facilitate that. So that's kind of what was
started the jumping from working with people too.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, I want to work.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
In a joining in a joining realm now.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Okay, all right, And then how long have you been
doing the therapy and what's your specialty.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
I've been doing the therapy for officially, like with a license,
I've been doing it for about five six years. Just
been working in different mental health hospitals and within the
community for about fifteen years now. And what my specialty
is families and children.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Okay, And what led you to do the children?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Was it because of the fact that you had some
help growing up and you kind of saw.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Some things that made you say, you know, children need a.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Little bit more help because sometimes people, you know, they
shift in a certain direction, right, And I think always
it's something interesting because you know, kids have a lot
that is going on in their little lives, and I
don't think we realize.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That, and we may oftentimes kind of shirk it off
to oh, they're just kids, but in my just.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
View, there's been so many changes to just being a
kid from when I was a kid to when these
kids are kids now, and when we kind of look
at that, they have so much more pressure that we
never had because we didn't have all of this technology
and all of this social media. So is there anything
specific that said less focus on kids as a specialty.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
For me, it was when I was younger, the fact
that I had someone who supported me and actually listened.
But as I'm getting older and going on through my
own lifespan, I realized that yet some of the things
that I was able to connect with with younger kids
or when I was a younger person, not so much anymore.
And I think that for me just going along as
(03:14):
I am aging, recognizing that some of the A patients
that I have and be some of the connection that.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I had with.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Clients when I was younger, I'm still having that connection
with but it's like we're going on through the through
the lifeline. So I would say that while the specialty,
the thing that got me was working with children, the
thing that continues to motivate me with working in this
field is working with people and recognizing that as we
grow older, as we continue to grow as people, there's
(03:49):
new lessons that we have to learn, and that's what
I've enjoyed the most, including navigating my own life.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Now with that, it's a whole bunch of stuff changes, right,
What would you say has been one of the biggest transitions,
And you know, this is kind of like a common
theme from the pre COVID time to like where we're
at now, you know, and just speaking with your colleagues,
you know, it's been some changes and things. What have
you seen has been a trend in the type of
people that you're getting that are coming to you for
(04:19):
therapy now? Because I would imagine, of course people need help,
so they're still going to come to therapy, But has
there been a trend in a certain type of person
or a certain gender or anything from that time to now, I.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Would say that I've seen a lot more anxiety, and
I've seen a lot more of and we say in
the professional in the field, we say anxiety, but really
it's just the change and quality of life that people
are experiencing and the what's helping to satisfy them. What
they recognize is happiness, and I think that's what a
(04:55):
lot of people are coming to counseling for is to
get some more reflection on what really is making them
happy right now versus what was making them happy in
the past and what they would like to do to
continue their happiness in the future. And I think that's
big because my happiness is going to be different from
your happiness in anyone else's happiness. So what I need
(05:17):
to do and what I choose to do to support
myself is going to be completely different. And that's not
a one size fits all. And too often we look
at oh, we'll just have these tips and have these
four bullet points that will help you to get out
of depression or get out of anxiety. But it's not
a one size fits all. And I think that's what
people are seeing after two years, three and a half
years a lockdown, is that my happiness isn't driven by
(05:41):
the work, work, go go.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Hamster will type of lif anymore?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, yeah, Now are you finding that any people?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Are? You know?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
And this is and I'm going to go with this
just because I know this about you are putting like
I guess travel to their live right, And I would
think that a lot of people now are like, look,
this is a bigger world than I've probably made it.
And now I feel like I want to travel, I
(06:12):
want to find myself.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I want to get away.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
And then also I want to speak to what you
to speak to, that work from anywhere kind of thing,
because I'm seeing that just like as a trend in general, Like, look,
if I can get Wi Fi and I can get
a good signal, right, then I can just probably be anywhere.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And that seems to be to me a trend that
people are kind of going toward.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Yes, because your backyard is bigger than your backyard now,
and you know it's not the concrete flab or the
four x four pitch of grass that you know you're
used to seeing. It's a lot bigger than what we're
comfortable with, what we're used to. And one thing that
(06:55):
I have learned over the past year kicking and screaming
might add, but I learned it is that you have
to push yourself out of your comfort zone and that
even though things around you are changing, your destination doesn't
have to change. It's how you get there that you
may have to change and switch up. And so with that, yes,
(07:15):
working remotely, that's or working from a different place, I
have a friend that I'm definitely I admire because she
just took that mindset. She just said, you know, I
can truly work from anywhere doing PR and so she
just up and just went to gosh, I want to
say it was South Africa, but she just picked up
(07:38):
and went there and stay there for about a month
and just work remotely. But the experience that she got
with meeting new people, with having different conversations, with trying
new things was something.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
That revitalized her.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
And I think that's something that I got as well,
just from doing my travels. I would say, is that
meeting new people revives my spirit and that helps me
to recognize, all right, well, happiness is bigger than your backyard.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah no, I like that. That's a really great saying.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Now with kids, right, I would imagine kids they just
can't pick up and just travel where they want, right, Like,
they have to have parents and money and.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Stuff for pasports, all of those things.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So that may not necessarily be something that's feasible for
your average child. But one of the things that I see,
like trend wise too, has been that fomo, that fear
of missing out. How do you feel like when you're
trying to help kids, because I've been seeing that school
districts have been suing social media companies because of the
mental health effects that they've been having on kids. And
(08:43):
I mean, it's just it's rampant, right, So what kind
of advice could a parent have or could you give
to even a kid if they're watching this right to
give them a perspective of, you know, you don't have
to miss out on everything, because maybe everything's not worth
going to in the first place, you know, But it's
like when you're in high school or you know, wherever, elementary,
(09:03):
middle school, you feel like you need to be a
part of something, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
So what's some advice.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
That you can give to people to kind of let
them know that maybe the technology is doing too much
or that things will still be there.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yeah, I think there were like five or six questions
within that one question.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
We've had so.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Many things that I was thinking about, like just different
nuances of it.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Yeah, So as far as with the fear of missing out,
I would say that when you see other people's lives,
or you see other people's chats, or you see other
people's inner actions, is that something that represents you? Yes,
this person appears to be happy. Yes, this person has
the smile, faces the light at the right angle, flawless,
(09:45):
eyebrowser flawless what you perceive to be flawless or engaging
or exciting, But it may not be all of that.
They're showing you that one snippet of what their life is,
and so kind of taking that and understanding that that
may not be their reality, you are creating that reality
for them, and you are putting that reality on a platform.
(10:06):
So just because this person has it doesn't mean that's
necessarily it's good for you, And that's okay. And I
think that that's something that we learn as we get
older and become more mature. You say kids, and you
say teenagers, but I see it a lot with young
adults too, in their twenties. So that idea that I
have to compare my life and mirror like this when
(10:28):
it all actuality is a snippet of it. And I
would say for the younger kids, depending on who's telling
you this information, a lot of times it's caregivers, grandparents, aunts, uncles.
They thinking about their motive and their intention. If someone
is telling you don't touch that stove, and they are
telling you that because they truly care about your safety.
(10:51):
Why question it or question excuse me, question it, but
why not understand where they're coming from their intent. I
see a lot of teenage who are saying, oh, my
parents just want to control me, or my parents just
don't want me to live or enjoy myself, when that's
not necessarily the case. There may be certain increments where
they feel like you're mature enough to reach that next point.
(11:13):
So I would say to the teenagers, is think about
the information, the advice that this person is giving you.
Have they ever wished malice on you? Have they ever
wished ill intent on you? If that's not the case,
take into consideration what they're saying, because you have your
whole life ahead of you and you have plenty of
time to live certain things out. Just take your time.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
And I forget.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
There was one more question that she kind of threw
in there with that big question, but I can't remember
it right now.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You just answered it, well, so that's good. That's good
enough for me, But you made me think about something else.
You know, when you're talking about it's no malice, and
you know the person is definitely looking out for your
best interests. I would think that in therapy, part of
a major part of what you do is help people
to be better communicators because they might not understand the
(12:02):
logic or the reason, or even the emotion behind why
the person is telling them not to do something.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
They're just listening to you, but.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
You told me not to do this, right, So how
can the parent or the older person or the caregiver
just be a better communicator to let them know that
there is good intent behind why I'm saying don't do it?
And you know, because a.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Lot of adults feel like I don't have to tell
you why.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I just said this is what it is, right, So,
you know, what can those adults do to be better
communicators to allow them to just understand that there is
good intent behind the no or this is not what
you should do.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I think that.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Comes down to learning how to talk from a point
of compassion, learning how to really express the feelings that
you are feeling as to why you are saying no
to your child. Are you saying no to be that authoritative,
dictative parent or person, or you saying that because deep
down inside you worry about their safety, or that's something
(13:03):
that you did when you were younger, and there's fear
for you that I know how it turned out how
I when I was younger, So I don't want it
to turn out like that for you, not to say
that it will, but then opening up that opportunity to
have a conversation with your child like, for example, exposure
to pornography or sexualized images, what that means, what that
(13:26):
looks like as a parent, what your fear is, what
you're worry is, and then having that dialogue with your child.
I remember growing up and I never asked. It was
very seldom that I asked why to my parents. It
was kind of like, all right, they said do it,
so let me just do what I got to do
it because I really want to go outside, or I
really want to go to the school, danswer, or something
(13:48):
of that nature. So when we were younger, we really
didn't ask those why questions, and it was you do
what I do when I tell you to do it,
and you don't ask questions. But now we're getting as
technology becomes a lot more vast and kids are getting
exposed to more whise and information that they can just
type on the internet, they're getting more responses. So as
(14:10):
a result in the home for parents to have to
open up more and give those whys, even though we
were taught not to give those wives because we didn't
receive those wise. But now our kids are asking for
those wives, and those wise have to be conveyed in
a very respectful but still assertive way to recognize that, Okay,
(14:31):
I'm the parent, but at the same time, I'm valuing
your curiosity because your curiosity is going to continue to
propel you as you become twenty thirty, forty fifty.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
You know, I think the thing is it's a generational difference,
right and who's raising who and how old the parents
and the grandparents really are nowadays, when grandparents are the
age of what the kids were.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Back in the day and still consider kids.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
And then you're talking about the different types of families
that we have now.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Now.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Is there anything else that you found that over the
last you know, five six years since you've been doing this,
that has changed drastically with maybe some of the issues
that people are bringing to you.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Yes, yes, I would definitely say that, and not just
in counseling in my profession, but also in my relationships,
my friendships, you know, in the world, I would say
that men, people who identify as male are being more
vulnerable or expressive with their emotions. And I think that's
(15:37):
an important part because while therapy traditional therapy may not
be the resolution the result, your feelings, your thoughts, and
your opinions matter. And I think that as we begin,
as I begin to get older and go into different
relationships of my own, that instead of having this image
(15:59):
or this perception that this person is going to be
the end all, be all and not have any feelings
or emotions or not get their feelings hurt is not realistic.
So I appreciate the idea of men coming to and
talking more about how they feel and being vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Yeah, I've noticed that too, And I think, you know, specifically,
it seems like sports figures, sports in general, but sports
figures because that's the thing that has historically been seen
is so masculine, you know, And so then when they say, look,
I really need help and my mental health, I think
that that makes a huge difference. Now, do you think
that there are anythings that artificial profession like when you
(16:45):
look at the trends, and that's what I'm saying, trends,
because there's always going to be a push towards something.
Therapy has been there, you know, and you know, but
people are now choosing. It used to be seen as
something that was for the rich, and now I think it's.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
A little bit more accessible.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Specifically with something like your podcast. And why you're doing
to just meet therapy podcast is because you want to
make it more accessible. But is there anything that you
know has been something that's like Okay, well now now
it's cool or now we should do it, you know?
But sometimes I think that the trend also raises the price, right, like,
(17:20):
so is it raising the value but also raising the price,
or like, what do you think.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Is really happening right now in the therapy world.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
As in regard as in regards to what the popularity of.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
It or the yeah, I mean now people are paying
attention to it. So if men are being more vulnerable,
if there's somebody that's saying you should pay attention to
it now all of a sudden, Like so let's take like,
for instance, if we go like Megan A Stallion, Right,
So Megan A. Stallion goes and she starts her own
little information about therapy and I'm assuming she's probably taking
(17:53):
therapy too, and now all of a sudden hot girls
want to get on therapy, right. So I'm not trying
to say that, you know, it's a bad thing. I'm
saying it's a good thing. But do you think that
people are maybe just coming just to say that they
went to a therapist?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Do you think it's just a popular thing now?
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Like, what do you think the value of it is
for just I guess the average person now.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I think that it's maybe twenty five percent just to
say I did it. And I think the rest is
that people are tired. People have held so much in
for a very, very long time. I think that a
lot of the things that have we've experienced over the
(18:37):
past three or four years as far as society, kind of.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Takes us back to.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
A place where we thought our country was this progressive
and forward thinking country. But in all actuality, when we
take a lot of those filters off of our society
and we see how these systems are truly working, that
we realize that, at the risk of sounding a little risky,
(19:07):
you know, modern day slavery.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So when we think about those.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Things and we think about the mental strife that comes
with people of the diaspora, the Africans of the African
Americans of the diaspora, we think about, no, we're tired,
We're really tired, and no longer am I going to
bite my tongue because my tongue is starting to breathe now.
(19:31):
So I think that that's the element where a lot
more people are saying that, Okay, there is more than
one way to get over some of those stressors and
those microaggressions in my community or country or company. So
I think that people their bodies are getting filled up
(19:52):
with all of these emotions that if they don't let
them out, it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Really concerning.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
My behaviors would be unhealthy. The way I project and
interact with my family's going to be unhealthy. I know
during the pandemic deemic, there were a lot or significance
of the pandemic. There were a lot of marriages that
were called to the carpet because really, you made you
realize that there were so many other elements in my life.
So instead of that, you know, robot robot behavior. So
(20:24):
I think that the pandemic, and I think that people's
really challenging what this country can bring and do for them,
has allowed a lot of emotions to come out.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, No, I mean you answered it wonderfully because I
think you didn't recognize something was a problem until.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You were faced with it and you didn't have a
choice but to deal with it.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
And just being tired is a real thing, you know,
like mentally tire, physically tired, emotionally, spiritually, and then now
people being able to have an outlet. So as we
conclude this, what would you say you want to leave
the people with? Like, if a person is saying, I'm
considering therapy, what would you say to them to that
person to get them to say, you know what, come
on over.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Here, get a little therapy.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Are you willing to receive feedback? As long as you
are willing to receive feedback, then you're ready for counseling.
That's not to say that you're going to do everything
that the counselor says or recommends, or that you guys
are necessarily going to agree, But as long as you're
able to receive feedback and coming in with an open mind,
then you're ready.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You're ready.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
It's not going to happen in a month, It's truly not,
because you're working on years of behaviors that you want
to do differently in order to get to the destination. Again,
going back to that, the destination is here. What you're
doing right now isn't working to get to that destination.
So now you have to switch up some of those
behaviors in that mindset. That's not going to happen in
a month, So you got to work out you got
(21:50):
to be open to it.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah. No, I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Now if a person says, Okay, listen, I listen to
the podcast. But Sasha, what's your fa favorite moment or
episode or whatever throughout this whole time of you doing
the podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
What would that be for you?
Speaker 5 (22:08):
I would say the the episode right before our live
episode where we spoke about intergenerational trauma and how a
lot of times we don't know what is truly ingrained in.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Us and our behaviors and our actions until we start
to pull back those layers and understand why we do
what we do.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, and that whole into general generational trauma one, that
whole segment. I totally loved that because I think we
all suffer from it, and you know, when you kind
of talk about what you can do to get out
of it. Those episodes were definitely some of my favorites.
So yes, applaud, Yeah, applause for those episodes. And so
what do you what do you you know, if you're saying, okay,
(22:53):
look going forward, what do you want to see happen
with the podcast?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Oh? Gosh, I just.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I want to be able to get to a space
where our our interaction with people is broadcasted a lot
more in the in the the on the couch of
a person in their living room. You know, I don't
want it to be us talking at people. I don't
(23:21):
want us to be talking at individuals or saying or
lecturing and saying you should do this, you should do that,
because it's not a one size fits all. The same
thing that works for you is not going to work
for me. But I would definitely like that idea of
talking our concerns out and our emotions to be very
just as important as your physical health, not competing for it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, well that's good stuff.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
That's good stuff because you know, once we really start
to pay attention to what we really need and then
make steps towards actually going after that, then I think
that that would just cause us to have just better
mental health overall, which then feeds into all the other
parts of our lives.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
So I think that that's great.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
All right, well, thank you so much for sharing your
time and your thoughts and your insight and then just
giving us a perspective about, you know, the people that
should be coming to you and the things that you
really love doing, because it does make a huge difference
when a person can kind of get a little insight
into that area and they can say, I have that problem, Yeah,
let me go on over there, let me talk to her,
(24:25):
because she obviously understands. And so parents, teenagers, you know,
this is definitely the person you should be talking to
because you want to have a better relationship. And I
think that once you make that decision, then now you
have to just press the button and book the consultation,
right or press the button and listen to the podcast.
So all right, well, thank you so much for being
(24:46):
on and everybody you know, just keep listening to Just
Me Therapy. You can go to just methapy dot com
and you can find all of the past episodes and
new episodes are coming.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Thank you, guys, great, thank.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
You, thank you so much for listening to give it
to the people radio. Make sure that you follow us
online at Ladybusiness dot com l A d y b
I z n E s S. We look forward to
helping you grow, sustain and maintain your business
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. When you're tuned in,
you're with Lady Business and give it to the People
Radio where you're going to get enlightened, enhanced, empowered and enriched.
Make sure that you always tune in to give it
to the People Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, welcome back everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
We are here doing a special episode series with Just
Me Therapy podcast, and this is going to give you
insight into the three women that are behind this podcast
that are all mental health professionals that are here to
really help you understand a little bit more about yourself.
And so this podcast is something that they is a
labor of love for them. And so today I want
(00:43):
to bring on Sasha. So, Sasha, Hello, how are you.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm doing well. How about yourself? I am doing well.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
So I want you to just give people a little
bit of background about Sasha Jiles. And you know what
made you decide, listen, therapy is the thing for me
to do.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm going to do this therapy thing. Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
So I did a lot of different work with after
school programs, and I went to a lot of leadership
conferences in middle school and high school. And I had
someone who was that support emotional support for me when
I was younger. So after doing all of that, it
made me, it motivated me to want to work in
a system where we're joining people together or at least
(01:24):
try to facilitate that. So that's kind of what was
started the jumping from working with people too.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, I want to work.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
In a joining in a joining realm now.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Okay, all right, And then how long have you been
doing the therapy and what's your specialty.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
I've been doing the therapy for officially, like with a license,
I've been doing it for about five six years. Just
been working in different mental health hospitals and within the
community for about fifteen years now. And what my specialty
is families and children.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Okay, And what led you to do the children?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Was it because of the fact that you had some
help growing up and you kind of saw.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Some things that made you say, you know, children need a.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Little bit more help because sometimes people, you know, they
shift in a certain direction, right, And I think always
it's something interesting because you know, kids have a lot
that is going on in their little lives, and I
don't think we realize.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That, and we may oftentimes kind of shirk it off
to oh, they're just kids, but in my just.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
View, there's been so many changes to just being a
kid from when I was a kid to when these
kids are kids now, and when we kind of look
at that, they have so much more pressure that we
never had because we didn't have all of this technology
and all of this social media. So is there anything
specific that said less focus on kids as a specialty.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
For me, it was when I was younger, the fact
that I had someone who supported me and actually listened.
But as I'm getting older and going on through my
own lifespan, I realized that yet some of the things
that I was able to connect with with younger kids
or when I was a younger person, not so much anymore.
And I think that for me just going along as
(03:14):
I am aging, recognizing that some of the A patients
that I have and be some of the connection that.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I had with.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Clients when I was younger, I'm still having that connection
with but it's like we're going on through the through
the lifeline. So I would say that while the specialty,
the thing that got me was working with children, the
thing that continues to motivate me with working in this
field is working with people and recognizing that as we
grow older, as we continue to grow as people, there's
(03:49):
new lessons that we have to learn, and that's what
I've enjoyed the most, including navigating my own life.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Now with that, it's a whole bunch of stuff changes, right,
What would you say has been one of the biggest transitions,
And you know, this is kind of like a common
theme from the pre COVID time to like where we're
at now, you know, and just speaking with your colleagues,
you know, it's been some changes and things. What have
you seen has been a trend in the type of
people that you're getting that are coming to you for
(04:19):
therapy now? Because I would imagine, of course people need help,
so they're still going to come to therapy, But has
there been a trend in a certain type of person
or a certain gender or anything from that time to now, I.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Would say that I've seen a lot more anxiety, and
I've seen a lot more of and we say in
the professional in the field, we say anxiety, but really
it's just the change and quality of life that people
are experiencing and the what's helping to satisfy them. What
they recognize is happiness, and I think that's what a
(04:55):
lot of people are coming to counseling for is to
get some more reflection on what really is making them
happy right now versus what was making them happy in
the past and what they would like to do to
continue their happiness in the future. And I think that's
big because my happiness is going to be different from
your happiness in anyone else's happiness. So what I need
(05:17):
to do and what I choose to do to support
myself is going to be completely different. And that's not
a one size fits all. And too often we look
at oh, we'll just have these tips and have these
four bullet points that will help you to get out
of depression or get out of anxiety. But it's not
a one size fits all. And I think that's what
people are seeing after two years, three and a half
years a lockdown, is that my happiness isn't driven by
(05:41):
the work, work, go go.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Hamster will type of lif anymore?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, yeah, Now are you finding that any people?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Are? You know?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
And this is and I'm going to go with this
just because I know this about you are putting like
I guess travel to their live right, And I would
think that a lot of people now are like, look,
this is a bigger world than I've probably made it.
And now I feel like I want to travel, I
(06:12):
want to find myself.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I want to get away.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
And then also I want to speak to what you
to speak to, that work from anywhere kind of thing,
because I'm seeing that just like as a trend in general, Like, look,
if I can get Wi Fi and I can get
a good signal, right, then I can just probably be anywhere.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And that seems to be to me a trend that
people are kind of going toward.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Yes, because your backyard is bigger than your backyard now,
and you know it's not the concrete flab or the
four x four pitch of grass that you know you're
used to seeing. It's a lot bigger than what we're
comfortable with, what we're used to. And one thing that
(06:55):
I have learned over the past year kicking and screaming
might add, but I learned it is that you have
to push yourself out of your comfort zone and that
even though things around you are changing, your destination doesn't
have to change. It's how you get there that you
may have to change and switch up. And so with that, yes,
(07:15):
working remotely, that's or working from a different place, I
have a friend that I'm definitely I admire because she
just took that mindset. She just said, you know, I
can truly work from anywhere doing PR and so she
just up and just went to gosh, I want to
say it was South Africa, but she just picked up
(07:38):
and went there and stay there for about a month
and just work remotely. But the experience that she got
with meeting new people, with having different conversations, with trying
new things was something.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
That revitalized her.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
And I think that's something that I got as well,
just from doing my travels. I would say, is that
meeting new people revives my spirit and that helps me
to recognize, all right, well, happiness is bigger than your backyard.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah no, I like that. That's a really great saying.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Now with kids, right, I would imagine kids they just
can't pick up and just travel where they want, right, Like,
they have to have parents and money and.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Stuff for pasports, all of those things.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So that may not necessarily be something that's feasible for
your average child. But one of the things that I see,
like trend wise too, has been that fomo, that fear
of missing out. How do you feel like when you're
trying to help kids, because I've been seeing that school
districts have been suing social media companies because of the
mental health effects that they've been having on kids. And
(08:43):
I mean, it's just it's rampant, right, So what kind
of advice could a parent have or could you give
to even a kid if they're watching this right to
give them a perspective of, you know, you don't have
to miss out on everything, because maybe everything's not worth
going to in the first place, you know, But it's
like when you're in high school or you know, wherever, elementary,
(09:03):
middle school, you feel like you need to be a
part of something, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
So what's some advice.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
That you can give to people to kind of let
them know that maybe the technology is doing too much
or that things will still be there.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yeah, I think there were like five or six questions
within that one question.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
We've had so.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Many things that I was thinking about, like just different
nuances of it.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Yeah, So as far as with the fear of missing out,
I would say that when you see other people's lives,
or you see other people's chats, or you see other
people's inner actions, is that something that represents you? Yes,
this person appears to be happy. Yes, this person has
the smile, faces the light at the right angle, flawless,
(09:45):
eyebrowser flawless what you perceive to be flawless or engaging
or exciting, But it may not be all of that.
They're showing you that one snippet of what their life is,
and so kind of taking that and understanding that that
may not be their reality, you are creating that reality
for them, and you are putting that reality on a platform.
(10:06):
So just because this person has it doesn't mean that's
necessarily it's good for you, And that's okay. And I
think that that's something that we learn as we get
older and become more mature. You say kids, and you
say teenagers, but I see it a lot with young
adults too, in their twenties. So that idea that I
have to compare my life and mirror like this when
(10:28):
it all actuality is a snippet of it. And I
would say for the younger kids, depending on who's telling
you this information, a lot of times it's caregivers, grandparents, aunts, uncles.
They thinking about their motive and their intention. If someone
is telling you don't touch that stove, and they are
telling you that because they truly care about your safety.
(10:51):
Why question it or question excuse me, question it, but
why not understand where they're coming from their intent. I
see a lot of teenage who are saying, oh, my
parents just want to control me, or my parents just
don't want me to live or enjoy myself, when that's
not necessarily the case. There may be certain increments where
they feel like you're mature enough to reach that next point.
(11:13):
So I would say to the teenagers, is think about
the information, the advice that this person is giving you.
Have they ever wished malice on you? Have they ever
wished ill intent on you? If that's not the case,
take into consideration what they're saying, because you have your
whole life ahead of you and you have plenty of
time to live certain things out. Just take your time.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
And I forget.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
There was one more question that she kind of threw
in there with that big question, but I can't remember
it right now.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You just answered it, well, so that's good. That's good
enough for me, But you made me think about something else.
You know, when you're talking about it's no malice, and
you know the person is definitely looking out for your
best interests. I would think that in therapy, part of
a major part of what you do is help people
to be better communicators because they might not understand the
(12:02):
logic or the reason, or even the emotion behind why
the person is telling them not to do something.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
They're just listening to you, but.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
You told me not to do this, right, So how
can the parent or the older person or the caregiver
just be a better communicator to let them know that
there is good intent behind why I'm saying don't do it?
And you know, because a.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Lot of adults feel like I don't have to tell
you why.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I just said this is what it is, right, So,
you know, what can those adults do to be better
communicators to allow them to just understand that there is
good intent behind the no or this is not what
you should do.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I think that.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Comes down to learning how to talk from a point
of compassion, learning how to really express the feelings that
you are feeling as to why you are saying no
to your child. Are you saying no to be that authoritative,
dictative parent or person, or you saying that because deep
down inside you worry about their safety, or that's something
(13:03):
that you did when you were younger, and there's fear
for you that I know how it turned out how
I when I was younger, So I don't want it
to turn out like that for you, not to say
that it will, but then opening up that opportunity to
have a conversation with your child like, for example, exposure
to pornography or sexualized images, what that means, what that
(13:26):
looks like as a parent, what your fear is, what
you're worry is, and then having that dialogue with your child.
I remember growing up and I never asked. It was
very seldom that I asked why to my parents. It
was kind of like, all right, they said do it,
so let me just do what I got to do
it because I really want to go outside, or I
really want to go to the school, danswer, or something
(13:48):
of that nature. So when we were younger, we really
didn't ask those why questions, and it was you do
what I do when I tell you to do it,
and you don't ask questions. But now we're getting as
technology becomes a lot more vast and kids are getting
exposed to more whise and information that they can just
type on the internet, they're getting more responses. So as
(14:10):
a result in the home for parents to have to
open up more and give those whys, even though we
were taught not to give those wives because we didn't
receive those wise. But now our kids are asking for
those wives, and those wise have to be conveyed in
a very respectful but still assertive way to recognize that, Okay,
(14:31):
I'm the parent, but at the same time, I'm valuing
your curiosity because your curiosity is going to continue to
propel you as you become twenty thirty, forty fifty.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
You know, I think the thing is it's a generational difference,
right and who's raising who and how old the parents
and the grandparents really are nowadays, when grandparents are the
age of what the kids were.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Back in the day and still consider kids.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
And then you're talking about the different types of families
that we have now.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Now.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Is there anything else that you found that over the
last you know, five six years since you've been doing this,
that has changed drastically with maybe some of the issues
that people are bringing to you.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Yes, yes, I would definitely say that, and not just
in counseling in my profession, but also in my relationships,
my friendships, you know, in the world, I would say
that men, people who identify as male are being more
vulnerable or expressive with their emotions. And I think that's
(15:37):
an important part because while therapy traditional therapy may not
be the resolution the result, your feelings, your thoughts, and
your opinions matter. And I think that as we begin,
as I begin to get older and go into different
relationships of my own, that instead of having this image
(15:59):
or this perception that this person is going to be
the end all, be all and not have any feelings
or emotions or not get their feelings hurt is not realistic.
So I appreciate the idea of men coming to and
talking more about how they feel and being vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Yeah, I've noticed that too, And I think, you know, specifically,
it seems like sports figures, sports in general, but sports
figures because that's the thing that has historically been seen
is so masculine, you know, And so then when they say, look,
I really need help and my mental health, I think
that that makes a huge difference. Now, do you think
that there are anythings that artificial profession like when you
(16:45):
look at the trends, and that's what I'm saying, trends,
because there's always going to be a push towards something.
Therapy has been there, you know, and you know, but
people are now choosing. It used to be seen as
something that was for the rich, and now I think it's.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
A little bit more accessible.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Specifically with something like your podcast. And why you're doing
to just meet therapy podcast is because you want to
make it more accessible. But is there anything that you
know has been something that's like Okay, well now now
it's cool or now we should do it, you know?
But sometimes I think that the trend also raises the price, right, like,
(17:20):
so is it raising the value but also raising the price,
or like, what do you think.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Is really happening right now in the therapy world.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
As in regard as in regards to what the popularity of.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
It or the yeah, I mean now people are paying
attention to it. So if men are being more vulnerable,
if there's somebody that's saying you should pay attention to
it now all of a sudden, Like so let's take like,
for instance, if we go like Megan A Stallion, Right,
So Megan A. Stallion goes and she starts her own
little information about therapy and I'm assuming she's probably taking
(17:53):
therapy too, and now all of a sudden hot girls
want to get on therapy, right. So I'm not trying
to say that, you know, it's a bad thing. I'm
saying it's a good thing. But do you think that
people are maybe just coming just to say that they
went to a therapist?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Do you think it's just a popular thing now?
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Like, what do you think the value of it is
for just I guess the average person now.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I think that it's maybe twenty five percent just to
say I did it. And I think the rest is
that people are tired. People have held so much in
for a very, very long time. I think that a
lot of the things that have we've experienced over the
(18:37):
past three or four years as far as society, kind of.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Takes us back to.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
A place where we thought our country was this progressive
and forward thinking country. But in all actuality, when we
take a lot of those filters off of our society
and we see how these systems are truly working, that
we realize that, at the risk of sounding a little risky,
(19:07):
you know, modern day slavery.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So when we think about those.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Things and we think about the mental strife that comes
with people of the diaspora, the Africans of the African
Americans of the diaspora, we think about, no, we're tired,
We're really tired, and no longer am I going to
bite my tongue because my tongue is starting to breathe now.
(19:31):
So I think that that's the element where a lot
more people are saying that, Okay, there is more than
one way to get over some of those stressors and
those microaggressions in my community or country or company. So
I think that people their bodies are getting filled up
(19:52):
with all of these emotions that if they don't let
them out, it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Really concerning.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
My behaviors would be unhealthy. The way I project and
interact with my family's going to be unhealthy. I know
during the pandemic deemic, there were a lot or significance
of the pandemic. There were a lot of marriages that
were called to the carpet because really, you made you
realize that there were so many other elements in my life.
So instead of that, you know, robot robot behavior. So
(20:24):
I think that the pandemic, and I think that people's
really challenging what this country can bring and do for them,
has allowed a lot of emotions to come out.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, No, I mean you answered it wonderfully because I
think you didn't recognize something was a problem until.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You were faced with it and you didn't have a
choice but to deal with it.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
And just being tired is a real thing, you know,
like mentally tire, physically tired, emotionally, spiritually, and then now
people being able to have an outlet. So as we
conclude this, what would you say you want to leave
the people with? Like, if a person is saying, I'm
considering therapy, what would you say to them to that
person to get them to say, you know what, come
on over.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Here, get a little therapy.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Are you willing to receive feedback? As long as you
are willing to receive feedback, then you're ready for counseling.
That's not to say that you're going to do everything
that the counselor says or recommends, or that you guys
are necessarily going to agree, But as long as you're
able to receive feedback and coming in with an open mind,
then you're ready.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You're ready.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
It's not going to happen in a month, It's truly not,
because you're working on years of behaviors that you want
to do differently in order to get to the destination. Again,
going back to that, the destination is here. What you're
doing right now isn't working to get to that destination.
So now you have to switch up some of those
behaviors in that mindset. That's not going to happen in
a month, So you got to work out you got
(21:50):
to be open to it.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah. No, I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Now if a person says, Okay, listen, I listen to
the podcast. But Sasha, what's your fa favorite moment or
episode or whatever throughout this whole time of you doing
the podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
What would that be for you?
Speaker 5 (22:08):
I would say the the episode right before our live
episode where we spoke about intergenerational trauma and how a
lot of times we don't know what is truly ingrained in.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Us and our behaviors and our actions until we start
to pull back those layers and understand why we do
what we do.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, and that whole into general generational trauma one, that
whole segment. I totally loved that because I think we
all suffer from it, and you know, when you kind
of talk about what you can do to get out
of it. Those episodes were definitely some of my favorites.
So yes, applaud, Yeah, applause for those episodes. And so
what do you what do you you know, if you're saying, okay,
(22:53):
look going forward, what do you want to see happen
with the podcast?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Oh? Gosh, I just.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I want to be able to get to a space
where our our interaction with people is broadcasted a lot
more in the in the the on the couch of
a person in their living room. You know, I don't
want it to be us talking at people. I don't
(23:21):
want us to be talking at individuals or saying or
lecturing and saying you should do this, you should do that,
because it's not a one size fits all. The same
thing that works for you is not going to work
for me. But I would definitely like that idea of
talking our concerns out and our emotions to be very
just as important as your physical health, not competing for it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, well that's good stuff.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
That's good stuff because you know, once we really start
to pay attention to what we really need and then
make steps towards actually going after that, then I think
that that would just cause us to have just better
mental health overall, which then feeds into all the other
parts of our lives.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
So I think that that's great.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
All right, well, thank you so much for sharing your
time and your thoughts and your insight and then just
giving us a perspective about, you know, the people that
should be coming to you and the things that you
really love doing, because it does make a huge difference
when a person can kind of get a little insight
into that area and they can say, I have that problem, Yeah,
let me go on over there, let me talk to her,
(24:25):
because she obviously understands. And so parents, teenagers, you know,
this is definitely the person you should be talking to
because you want to have a better relationship. And I
think that once you make that decision, then now you
have to just press the button and book the consultation,
right or press the button and listen to the podcast.
So all right, well, thank you so much for being
(24:46):
on and everybody you know, just keep listening to Just
Me Therapy. You can go to just methapy dot com
and you can find all of the past episodes and
new episodes are coming.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Thank you, guys, great, thank.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
You, thank you so much for listening to give it
to the people radio. Make sure that you follow us
online at Ladybusiness dot com l A d y b
I z n E s S. We look forward to
helping you grow, sustain and maintain your business
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!