September 13, 2025 • 6 mins
It is essential to first define the key terms that will be used throughout the report. Domestic violence (DV), often used interchangeably with Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), is defined as a pattern of physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse used by one person in an intimate relationship to establish power and control over the other.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You've found the pod. You've found the podcast Go Beyond
the Brief, where we take a deep dive into the
societal currents shaping our lives. Together, we'll explore the often
unseen forces at play. We'll examine the research, dissect the data,
and most importantly, if you're seeking to understand what's shaping
our society, this is the place.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, let's unpack this.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Welcome everyone. Today, we're taking a deep dive into something
really complex, often misunderstood, domestic.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Violence or intimate partner violence. Yeah, it's definitely not just
what you might see on the surface exactly.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
We want to get into the web of psychological, social,
even technological factors behind it. Our goal today is really
to go beyond simple definitions, give you a more holistic view,
a shortcut maybe to being well informed. Good goal.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So where should we start. Definition?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, let's get a clear understanding first. DV. Fundamentally, it's
defined as a pattern physical, sexual, emotional, psychological use.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Used by one person to get power and control over another.
That pattern part is.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Key, right and central to this you find coercive control.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Ah, yes, coercive control. That's It's insidious, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Totally it's this deliberate, ongoing strategy. We're talking threats, humiliation, isolation,
controlling finances, and.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Often crucially without any obvious physical violence. It's all about
subjugating someone's free will.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
That definition really hits home the subtle nature of it. Yeah,
it makes me wonder, though, how does this sort of
invisible control show up in like real world trends. Do
we see this in the data?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
That's a great question. And while the data is interesting,
you have national crime victimization surveys showing, you know, relatively
stable rates of violence overall. Okay, but here's the paradox.
Advocacy centers they're reporting a big increase in people actually
seeking help. Oh really Yeah, Some places like North Dakota
for instance, saw like a three, maybe up to almost
(01:56):
six percent rise in victims getting services just in twenty
twenty four.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Wow, So more people are reaching out, which sounds positive.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
It does suggest maybe a better public understanding, more willingness
to seek support. But at the same time, a recent
analysis looked at US cities reported domestic violence incidents actually
increased by three percent from twenty twenty four to twenty
twenty five, and this was while other violent crimes were decreasing.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Okay, wait, so other violent crime goes down, but reported
DV goes up exactly That That really stops you for
a second, doesn't it. It tells you DV isn't just
another crime statistic.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Absolutely not. It has unique drivers.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It's hidden nature, those really personal dynamics and the calculated
strategies you mentioned. It just needs a totally different lens
for you to understand it.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
You've hit it. It's not static, it's dynamic, multifaceted. We
have to look beyond the obvious physical signs.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
So tell me more about these calculated strategies you said.
Perpetrators aren't necessarily out of.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Control often no, it's quite the opposite. They employ incredibly
calculated methods to gain and maintain power, like what well,
gaslighting is a big one. That manipulation that makes you
doubt your own reality, your sanity, insidious, and they often
maintain this charming public face so outsiders have no idea.
(03:13):
What's really chilling is that sometimes the most damaging abuse
leaves no physical mark at all.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
That's a really crucial point. And are there like personality
traits linked to this kind of calculated psychological attack where
empathy just seems missing.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Oh, definitely. Research points to strong links with traits like narcissism,
you know, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and also antisocial tendencies
where hurting others just doesn't register as wrong.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
And these traits lead to the psychological and emotional abuse,
even if it never gets.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Physical precisely, which makes the victim's experience incredibly isolating.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
So okay, we've talked individuals. Yeah, what about the bigger
picture societal factors. Did something like the pandemic change things?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Oh? Absolutely? Big societal disruptions like the stress and forced
isolation of COVID nineteen, they definitely only amplified abuse for many,
made it harder to escape, harder to get help.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Right being trapped.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And then there's technology. Modern tech adds a whole new
layer with digital coerceive control.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Digital coerceive control, what does that actually look like?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's more than just nasty texts. It's pervasive monitoring, using
tracking apps, spywear, controlling social media, constant harassment online. It
makes the abuse feel, as some researchers put it, inescapable
and unpredictable.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Wow, inescapable, and.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's alarmingly common, especially among young adults. Some studies show
up to seventy five percent of college students have experienced
some form of tech facilitated abuse.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Seventy five percent. That's staggering, and it highlights how blurry
the lines of consent can get, especially online, which actually
brings up an important question, particularly now with more visibility
around alternative lifestyles. I mean, where power dynamics are part
of the dynamic consensually, how do we tell that apart
from pathological abuse.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That is such a critical question and the core difference
this is vital for you to grasp, is explicit informed
and ongoing consent.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Explicit informed, ongoing.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Think about healthy BDSM practices, for example, they're built on
rigorous negotiation, clear boundary, safe words. People involved often show
high levels of psychological well being.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Actually right, it's all pre agreed exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Abusers, though they exploit this distinction, they might borrow the
language of subcultures like BDSM to confuse and gaslight their victims.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Ah, So they twist the language of consent itself.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Precisely, they create the state sometimes called coerced caring, where
the victim is manipulated into believing they've consented to the
own use when true consent was never actually present, understanding
that manipulation is key for safety and empowerment.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Okay, so wrapping this up DV is complex, dynamic. It
involves calculated control, not just outbursts. Society and tech amplify it,
and genuine consent is the absolute bedrock differentiator. Well put,
which leaves us in you listening with maybe one final
thought that you on in our hyper connected world where
(06:09):
digital lines blur constantly and abuses get more sophisticated, how
can you, in your own spheres help foster environments where
genuine consent isn't just a fuzzy concept but something fiercely protected.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
How do we ensure no one gets tripped into thinking
abuses anything other than what
You've found the pod. You've found the podcast Go Beyond
the Brief, where we take a deep dive into the
societal currents shaping our lives. Together, we'll explore the often
unseen forces at play. We'll examine the research, dissect the data,
and most importantly, if you're seeking to understand what's shaping
our society, this is the place.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, let's unpack this.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Welcome everyone. Today, we're taking a deep dive into something
really complex, often misunderstood, domestic.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Violence or intimate partner violence. Yeah, it's definitely not just
what you might see on the surface exactly.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
We want to get into the web of psychological, social,
even technological factors behind it. Our goal today is really
to go beyond simple definitions, give you a more holistic view,
a shortcut maybe to being well informed. Good goal.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So where should we start. Definition?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, let's get a clear understanding first. DV. Fundamentally, it's
defined as a pattern physical, sexual, emotional, psychological use.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Used by one person to get power and control over another.
That pattern part is.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Key, right and central to this you find coercive control.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Ah, yes, coercive control. That's It's insidious, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Totally it's this deliberate, ongoing strategy. We're talking threats, humiliation, isolation,
controlling finances, and.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Often crucially without any obvious physical violence. It's all about
subjugating someone's free will.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
That definition really hits home the subtle nature of it. Yeah,
it makes me wonder, though, how does this sort of
invisible control show up in like real world trends. Do
we see this in the data?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
That's a great question. And while the data is interesting,
you have national crime victimization surveys showing, you know, relatively
stable rates of violence overall. Okay, but here's the paradox.
Advocacy centers they're reporting a big increase in people actually
seeking help. Oh really Yeah, Some places like North Dakota
for instance, saw like a three, maybe up to almost
(01:56):
six percent rise in victims getting services just in twenty
twenty four.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Wow, So more people are reaching out, which sounds positive.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
It does suggest maybe a better public understanding, more willingness
to seek support. But at the same time, a recent
analysis looked at US cities reported domestic violence incidents actually
increased by three percent from twenty twenty four to twenty
twenty five, and this was while other violent crimes were decreasing.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Okay, wait, so other violent crime goes down, but reported
DV goes up exactly That That really stops you for
a second, doesn't it. It tells you DV isn't just
another crime statistic.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Absolutely not. It has unique drivers.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It's hidden nature, those really personal dynamics and the calculated
strategies you mentioned. It just needs a totally different lens
for you to understand it.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
You've hit it. It's not static, it's dynamic, multifaceted. We
have to look beyond the obvious physical signs.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
So tell me more about these calculated strategies you said.
Perpetrators aren't necessarily out of.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Control often no, it's quite the opposite. They employ incredibly
calculated methods to gain and maintain power, like what well,
gaslighting is a big one. That manipulation that makes you
doubt your own reality, your sanity, insidious, and they often
maintain this charming public face so outsiders have no idea.
(03:13):
What's really chilling is that sometimes the most damaging abuse
leaves no physical mark at all.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
That's a really crucial point. And are there like personality
traits linked to this kind of calculated psychological attack where
empathy just seems missing.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Oh, definitely. Research points to strong links with traits like narcissism,
you know, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and also antisocial tendencies
where hurting others just doesn't register as wrong.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
And these traits lead to the psychological and emotional abuse,
even if it never gets.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Physical precisely, which makes the victim's experience incredibly isolating.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
So okay, we've talked individuals. Yeah, what about the bigger
picture societal factors. Did something like the pandemic change things?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Oh? Absolutely? Big societal disruptions like the stress and forced
isolation of COVID nineteen, they definitely only amplified abuse for many,
made it harder to escape, harder to get help.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Right being trapped.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And then there's technology. Modern tech adds a whole new
layer with digital coerceive control.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Digital coerceive control, what does that actually look like?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's more than just nasty texts. It's pervasive monitoring, using
tracking apps, spywear, controlling social media, constant harassment online. It
makes the abuse feel, as some researchers put it, inescapable
and unpredictable.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Wow, inescapable, and.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's alarmingly common, especially among young adults. Some studies show
up to seventy five percent of college students have experienced
some form of tech facilitated abuse.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Seventy five percent. That's staggering, and it highlights how blurry
the lines of consent can get, especially online, which actually
brings up an important question, particularly now with more visibility
around alternative lifestyles. I mean, where power dynamics are part
of the dynamic consensually, how do we tell that apart
from pathological abuse.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That is such a critical question and the core difference
this is vital for you to grasp, is explicit informed
and ongoing consent.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Explicit informed, ongoing.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Think about healthy BDSM practices, for example, they're built on
rigorous negotiation, clear boundary, safe words. People involved often show
high levels of psychological well being.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Actually right, it's all pre agreed exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Abusers, though they exploit this distinction, they might borrow the
language of subcultures like BDSM to confuse and gaslight their victims.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Ah, So they twist the language of consent itself.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Precisely, they create the state sometimes called coerced caring, where
the victim is manipulated into believing they've consented to the
own use when true consent was never actually present, understanding
that manipulation is key for safety and empowerment.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Okay, so wrapping this up DV is complex, dynamic. It
involves calculated control, not just outbursts. Society and tech amplify it,
and genuine consent is the absolute bedrock differentiator. Well put,
which leaves us in you listening with maybe one final
thought that you on in our hyper connected world where
(06:09):
digital lines blur constantly and abuses get more sophisticated, how
can you, in your own spheres help foster environments where
genuine consent isn't just a fuzzy concept but something fiercely protected.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
How do we ensure no one gets tripped into thinking
abuses anything other than what
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