If the Shoe Fits an episode of Grand Hotel

Please enjoy If the Shoe Fits a great episode of the legendaryGrand Hotel - A Classic Old Time radio Show.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
When I planned Parkys Hollen Today withEarl Bond in a swiftly moving comedy of
super salesmanship by Joel brinslack entitles,If the Shoe Fits and all before the
play itself, here's a greeting forNBC young star Hollen Tolay, thank yously,

(00:27):
Heaven, good eating ladies and chatas toys Nights consims an energetic young
advertising copywriter Paul Richmond, and asweet but somewhat stubborn young woman Kel Bolton,
trying to get a new slant onthe shoe business by actually selling them.
Paul put his heart and soul intoit, very nearly winding up a
heel from beginning to end. It'sa tight squeeze and begin it does,

(00:50):
as Paul's boss finds much to bedesired in his advertising copy. Come in,
come in, good morning, misterBunker. Well will will come in,
my boy, come in and let'ssee. Now what's your problem?
Well, you see, I'm like, oh, anything I can do to
Herald swill Axe, don't be nicefor oh one big happy family at the
Monker Agency. Here have a gunjb. Thank you, mister Bunker. All

(01:14):
right, my boy, come tothe point, come to the point.
What's on your mind? Well yousent for me, I did you mean?
Oh I did? Yeah, yeah, so I did. Sit down,
Sit down, have a gumbob.I've had one, mister Bunker,
I have another, have another,well too, I've had some walking good
reports on your copy Richmond Courting.Good to hear that, mister Bunker.

(01:36):
Yes, indeed, gers, indeed, wonderful report. Let's see you work
on Higley Tiddley, whole reed bread, don't you. Oh no, I'm
on Parker's shoes. Oh that's good, that's fine, that Parker shoes.
Oh that's terrible, terrible letter.Well, I'm sorry, mister Bunker,
but every time I do, you'vebeen working on slogans. Yes, all

(01:56):
right, let's have one. Well, now here's why I'm come to shoot.
Shoot, what do you think ofthis? Got the blues? Try
Parker's shoes? No, no,no, no, A thousand times now
no no, oh, got theblues, Try Parker's shoes on Richmond,
Come on, come on, shoottoo. Well, here's one said I
thought of the subway this morning.Here's good news. It's wise to choose

(02:20):
Parker's shoes. Oh no, no, no, no, dear man,
why do you ride in subways?Well, that leaves me cold Stone,
cold Richmond. Have you ever soldshoes? Well, I courts not,
anyone can see you haven't. I'lltell you what, Rickman, I'll have
mister Parker give you a job inone of his stores. You can learn
to sell him over the counter.Get your hand on the public purse.
Yeah, I mean, well,how does that strike? Well? I

(02:46):
don't know if I you you degreeget your hat? Miss, hum ahead,
get me mister Parker on the linetaking off, and remember it,
A good shoe salesman is always onhis toes mentally, and yes, sir,
so don't forget to smile and looksprightly, yes, mister Collins.

(03:07):
And the customer is always right right. I'm going to the bank. I'll
be back. Good bye, misterColins. Sprightly and smile. Boy,
what the job is gonna be?Oh? Good morning, madam? Miss
good morning? Well, good morning. I dig your pardon. You wanted

(03:29):
to see something and shoes me?Won't you sit down? Thank you?
Now? Then I'm going to Sandbo. You have some very nice platforms,
red blue, we alligators. No, I think I'd like something a little
more dressy and have you prochased shoeshere before him? Bolton tell Bosan,
yes, I have. How doyou do I'm Paul Richmond. How do

(03:50):
you do now about the shoes?Mister? Yes? Now, if you'll
commit me left foot please? Ohgee, side, let's see. Oh
five A my favorite size, whichreminds me. Now we have something here
in a five A too that Iknow you're going to life and we only

(04:11):
have one pair left. Oh well, somebody's taking them out of the box.
Oh no, no, here theyare behind the counter. Look let
kid, Oh they're beautiful, sowe try them on. I'm afraid they're
a little more than I can afford. Oh come on now, put them
on just beside, all right therenow, then I want you to see

(04:35):
yourself in the mirror. Keep rightover here. Weren't they going here?
Oh? I wish you wouldn't telltme this way? How much are they?
Well, let's see, no FifeTager is missing. But well,
just between you and me, youknow, mister Collins gets stuck with odd
pairs every once in a while,So we'll let you have them in the
bargain. What is ten dollars toomuch? Would you really let me have

(04:58):
them? For ten dollars. Certainlyif you want on a yours. Every
customer's a satisfied customer. Parker'shoe storewith these leopard skins shoes are worth a
good deal more than ten dollars.Well, miss Bolton, don't you know
that Parker's prices are lower and Parker'squality is higher? Oh? Really,
but now, I don't want toget you into any trouble. Believe me,
Miss Bolden, you're doing us afavor. Shall I wrap up your

(05:18):
other shoes? No, I'll takethe leopard skins along with you. Good
now, if I may have yourdress for the salesworst, Carol Bolton,
that's three five nine Alfred Street.Carol, I like that name. Carol
Bolton. Three thirds is it's charged? No? Here you are? I

(05:42):
thank you. You've been very nice. Next time I see mister Parker,
I'm going to tell you, youknow, miss Parker. Oh yeah,
well, well, small world,isn't it? Here you are? And
many many thanks, Miss Boltans,Thank you, goodday, goodbye, Well
Carol Bolten, Let's see Parker's shoes. Parker's shoes, Parker all the way.

(06:04):
You know what fun it is todon't? Oh? No? Oh
good morning, madam. Have youhave seven? Young man? Where is
mister Collins? Why he just steppedout for a minute, madam. But
I'm familiar with all the star No, no, I'm missus J. P.
Parker, and I want mister Collinsstre where. Well, mister Parker
owns this store has the same initialsas you JP. I am missus j

(06:27):
appeerpoints Parker. Oh you are yes, y'all knew here? Uncle? Yes,
I just done my uncle, andmy husband says the chain of stores
is no stronger, and it knewit linked and politeness is the password?
Is Parker mesterday? Now? Whereare my shoes? Your shoes of course?
Oh shoes, Yes, you're hello. If you're describe him for a

(06:48):
second. Leopard skin Friday. Allright, Missus Parker, I'll see if
im Leopard skin Day. What's thematter with you? Nothing, Dody,
I'm fine. Oh I remember now, Missus Parker. I don't think they're
quite ready. I'm sorry I spoketo mister Collins only yesterday. Well,

(07:09):
yes, yes, Missus Parker,but you're in unexpected development developed What are
you talking about? Young men?Well, if you were just come back
tomorrow, Missus Parker, I'm surewe'd have. Oh there you are,
mister Collins. Well, missus Parker, good morning, good morning, you're
looking well this morning. Never mindthis. What's this about my leopard skin
shoes not being ready? Not ready? Oh, there's some mistake, Missus

(07:31):
Parker. I have them right backhere under the town. How is everything
at the bank? Bank? Fine? Fine, quite all right, I'll
just the moment, Missus Parker.Oh my gosh, young man, what
is the matter with you? Isa positive? I do Richmond? Yes,

(07:53):
sir? Where is that pair ofleopard skin shoes? I left them
under the count Well clearly, misterCollins, this has gone on quick enough.
Do you have the shoes or don't? I'm dreadfully sorry, Missus Blacker.
I'm sure we'll find them in amoment and then see that you do.
I can't wait much longer, ofcourse, Missus Parker. Richmond,
did you move those shoes me?Why? Yes, sir? Why didn't

(08:15):
you say so? Where are they? Well? As a matter of fact,
mister Collins, they aren't here.Aren't here, No, sir,
I sent them out to be cleaned. A new pair of shoes, Yes
they have. They had some spotson them, spots of course they had
spots. They were leopard skar.I've never heard of such a thing,
mister Collins, is him? Please, missus Parker, if you will just

(08:37):
be paid, I had enough fishes. I want those shoes today, of
course, Missus Potter, but Idon't give him today. This branch of
Parker's Shoe Thos will have a newmanager. Good day. But mister Parker.
Oh, I'm sorry, mister Colin, but you didn't tell me about
the shoe and you sent them outto be clean, did you? Oh
not exactly, rich one. Ti'mon the burg of losing my temper.

(09:00):
You're on the birds, Richmond.You go and get those shoes and bring
them back here just as fast asyou can. Yes, sir, man,
don't come back with awesome Yes.Hello, I'm looking for miss Carol

(09:24):
Bolton. Miss Susan isn't here now, I'm the name lady. Can I
give her a message? Well?No, no, thank you. You
don't want to be back. I'llbe glad to give her a message.
No, really, you see it'srather personal. Oh yeah, well she
isn't here. Hey, wait aminute, you'll need me, lait,

(09:46):
young fellow. I'm only a trickbut you don't understand. Oh, yes
I do. She had one ofyour smart aub it's around the last month.
It's all your personal thankless and soon. If you are to date
to Miss Braydon, you'll have toget yourself totally introduced and either then I
wouldn't count on it. But Ihaven't introduced there. We we're old friends.
I don't remember seeing you before.Well, I just got into town.

(10:09):
She doesn't know I'm here. Whyof course? Huh. He must
be from Rogan Lodana. Oh Ishould have known. I'll just get to
that hometown boy and the stain getsall movie from now. Won't she be
surprised? Yes, yes she will, will I declare? And I thought

(10:35):
you were one of those fresh youngmen who wake up in the Scruton Bostil
come in, you must think,I'm oh, but if Carol isn't here,
brhapside who, I'm so excited,I'm hardly Are you going to be
alone? Well, I'm not sure. Oh you had to excuse me for
talking the way I did. Buthe told me so pretty and nice and

(10:58):
knowing to look up. I feelkind of responsible. Well that's very nice
with you, Miss ged you doand just I confess it, but I
don't remember your name, Richmond,Paul Richmond. Oh, yes, well,
mister Richmond, I can tell him. Miss Bolton was just wonderful.
I love having her here. Nowthis is harum, you see, I

(11:20):
fixed it all. Yes, veryplease, Now, mister Richmond, hap,
I shouldn't ask such a Are youin, miss Bolton going to be
married to married? Yes? I'dlove to have a wedding here if you
are. I mean, oh,I love wedding, just so beautiful and
so so sad in some ways.Yes, well I really can't say.

(11:43):
Ms Good Griggs, but if weget married, I promise you will be
married here. Oh, thank you, mister Richmond. All right, tell
me missus Griggs. Good Carol gotthe package, I said, package?
Yes, uh, that's who came. How you were kind of leopard skin
shoes. I thought you might haveseen that. Oh no, I don't
think so. He should have hadone this morning. Well, now she's
been in announced several times and Ijust didn't notice what she was wearing.

(12:05):
But they might be in her closet. Oh that one over there, Well
I'll just peek in then, ifyou don't mind. I wanted her to
have them at the time I gothere. Yes, are they there?
Well? No, no, guessnot. Oh well maybe she's wearing so
what's that? Uh? Where didyou say she went? Oh? Why

(12:26):
she got to work? I supposework. Didn't she tell you she took
a job just lasting him and misterParker? Parker, Oh yeah, he
said they should the man partner,Oh my gosh, Oh I would he
worried about he? She's quite nicemarried, you know, here's guy.
Thank you very much. You're good. Don't do hevery thing? He does?

(12:48):
He waste any time? Does he? Yes, mister Parker, Miss
Bull, No, mister Parker.Are you got the blues? Oh myself,

(13:18):
yes, mister Parker, I will, and then one want to during
the next hour tell them yes,mister Parker. Oh dear, well,
I'm sorry, sir, mister Parkeris oh did you? Of course it's
me. I ran up eight flightsof pairs to ask you. I'm terribly

(13:39):
sorry, mister Richmond, but I'mvery busy, so you might just as
well run right down again. Whatare you talking about it? I never
go out with strangers. What thetwo actually think? I came to rupture?
Now? Really, Miss Bolton believeme. I wasn't going to ask
you for a date, right.No, So I'm so sorry if I

(14:00):
misjudged you. I merely thought youwere running the type, and you are
the type. Say, I musthave made quite an impression on you.
You did no such thing. Youremembered my name. It was a mental
lass, I assure you. Well, we can talk about that later,
but right now I have to speakto you about this morning. Oh so
that. Oh yes, you see, you've found out that I really do
know, mister Parker. And nowyou're afraid I'll report to report me.

(14:24):
I didn't do anything. Well,you sold me a fifty dollars pair of
leopard skin shoes, throwing me tendollars. I did, Oh yes,
I did, didn't I I toldyou they were worth more. I know,
I know, and I appreciate ittoo. But now I have to
take them back. Take them back. You'll do nothing of the sort.
But I must now look, misterrickmand you sold them those lepperd skin shoes.
I have the same slip and I'mnot going to give them back.
Yeah, but I have made amistake. You see, those shoes were

(14:46):
ordered especially for missus Parker. Orderanother pair of specially for missus Parker.
But there are no more her thoughts. That's not my paulse. Would you
like me to call missus Parker andtell her that you refuse to give up
her shoes? But there? Mu? Well, young man, what are
you doing here? What's the soul? Missus Parker? Shall I call mister
Parker for you, Missus Parker?Not just yet, miss croky a,

(15:09):
young man Parker, don't say intothis? Did you bring my shoes?
Well? No, Missus Parker.You see, I had a lot of
bundle that mister Collins wanted me toget to, mister Parker, and I
just couldn'trry anything else. Why whyI didn't see you? Who were here?
Miss Bolton? So I'll let's bringthem on the next get Missus Parker.
Don't you worry? Oh? Then, what did mister Collins mean when

(15:30):
I cloned him an hour ago?He said, who hadn't come back?
Well? No, no, Ihad not an hour ago. I Uh,
I had several errands to run,and there were some complications and a
certain number of unexpected developments. Youngman, I can't understand the word you're
saying now. All I want toknow is do you have the shoes or
don't? Well practically, Missus Parker. Mister Richmond, why don't you tell

(15:52):
Missus Parker the real story, thereal Oh I'll explain about that later,
miss Bolton. But now I'm notyoung man. What do you say?
Nothing important, Missus Parker. Justa new order from the store, some
shoes mister Collins ordered, mister myshoe, Missus Parker. Mister is wearing
my shoes. I can explain,Missus Parker. Really, man, did

(16:14):
you say you came up here tobring some bundles to mister Parker? Yes,
but my own husband what taking shoesaway from his own way? Oh
no, no, now, MissusParker, please, you've got it all
wrong. You wasn't go between gobmelolling that long? I mean's listening going

(16:37):
on out here holding a man?Think, Oh, hello, my dear
don't speak to me, dear boy. Why what are you talking about?
Taking my shoes? Now? Really, mister Parker, it's all a terrible
mistaque What is all? Man?I can explain everything, mister Parker.
Who's done enough? Young man andmissus boyson, we will be quiet now,

(17:02):
all right. In the first place, my dear, I didn't give
any shoes to anyone, so stopsniffley my shoes fir boint and she's wearing
your shoes, my dear, that'sthe Parker mist the point I mean,
mister Parker. You see they aren'tmissus Parker shoes at tall, not my
shoes. I know they're not yours. But then where are my young mess

(17:22):
Well you missus Parker, I promiseI give up. I don't know what
this is all about, but Idon't like it. Miss Bolton. I
hold you responsible, please us.Mister Parker, you young man, what
are you doing here anyway? Ijust came to see Miss Bolton. My
call just a social call, soyou call. That's it, Miss Bowton.
You know I have spit ruse againstconducting personal business during office hours.

(17:47):
You're fired, Miss Bowen. Fired. Come my dear, yeh boy,
are you sure you didn't know about? So? Do be silly? My
dea? Why did I give missBolton the plant shoes? Well that's that.
Don't go away, you know,Wait a minute, there's nothing to
cry about it. I'll treating everythinghelse. You've done just about enough already,

(18:08):
thank you, good bride. MisterRichard. Oh hey, Caro one
a minuter. Oh, mister richmaldthis whatever happened to you? Hello?

(18:30):
Come in? Thank you missus wigsA Griggs. I uh had some things
to attended. Well, I'm soglad you came back, Carols him home
just a moment ago? Yes,well can you got mister Richmond? I
then wait out here and you justdick go into her robins. Yeah,
that's very nice of you, MissusGriggs. Oh no, go ride ahead.

(18:53):
I know how it is with youyoung people. She'll be so pleased.
She wanted them what to do?Ye hope though, go ahead now,
don't lose your name. No,no, I'm all right thanks Missus
Green you're going hello? Oh younow, Carol, don't go away now,

(19:26):
Carroll, Please, everything's going tobe all right, I promise you
and your promises. Say, howdid you get in here? Griggs?
Like? Men? Are you surethat she was very nice about it?
You? Well, it's the truth, Carrol. Look, all I'm trying
to do is straighten everything out.Now. If you'll just give me back
missus Parker's shoes, I'll get yourjob back for you. Don't Carol,

(19:51):
please don't cry makes me feel terrible, Yes, honestly. Oh god,
I want to try to help you. Can't you understand? Don't you want
your job about? Well? Yes, I guess so. Well now that's

(20:15):
better. All you have to dois give me the shoe. When you
are you sure? I give youmy word. I just take them off.
Now, may I come in?I just couldn't wait an Why miss
body, you're crying? No?No, what's in that? No thing
is a big nothing. Everything's fineif you're just of course, you did

(20:37):
give me a plan roll I'm aboutperhaps your good fight. Well, I'm
counting on me waiting you know,wait, please miss tell you please,
No, we haven't wait a minute. What did mister Richmond tell you,
Missus Griggs. No, it wasn'tanything out of this. Oh on,

(20:57):
Missus Griggs right said that I couldhave the ready here, that is,
when you and he you're married.I love to have it here, Miss
Bowls. Paul Richmond, Missus Gregg, he's been lying to you. Oh
you mean you're not going to reallywhy? I only met him this morning,

(21:17):
but I can explain. Oh you'rean impost that our ladies. Please
please don't get it salted. Ithank you to leave my house, young
miss Like he said, go on, but will you leave, mister Richmond?
Or must I call the police?Please? No, no, don't
do that. Our good mister Richmond. I'm going. I'm going. Good
night, lady. Oh me,this is Paul Richmond. Mister Collins,

(22:04):
I'm in a phone booth right now, mister Collin. Well not exactly,
mister Collins. They were in misterParker's office this morning. But a young
lady. Good right, No,mister Collins. Wait a minute, Oh
well people true alligator? Hello missusColonel Bolton please us now who's calling?

(22:38):
This? Is it Parker? MisterParker speaking? Oh mister Palmer like you
No, I see you did?I thought you was fired? Good missus
Greg. I have to hurry.It's wise to choose Parker's shoes. Oh

(23:07):
no, no, no, no, zip what dawn folds off that one
over? I want to oh,Miss Bolton. Yes, I'm terribly sorry,
mister Parker. I let him sayto Rush that I could lost some
of my things. I see allright. I won't be on mister Parker.
I won't take your gime. I'msorry about that unpleasantness, Miss Bolton.

(23:29):
What do you see? Missus Parker? Still has a suspicion that he
no silly shoes you have. Iquite understand. However, if I can
get missus Parker calm down, praps, well, why don't you starve in
say next week? Oh I will, mister Parker, thank you? Hey,

(23:49):
well, I see, I getthat slogan out. Can't find a
good one worden directed meeting in themorning, you know, well, good
luck with Bolton. Thank you?Where did you come down? I don't
be angry. I had to hidebehind the filing cabinets so Parker wouldn't see
me. Look, Caroline'm sorry,missus. I'm sure it won't happen again.

(24:14):
You know I was his hometown character. That was Missus Griggs idea Richmond.
I be very gratefully. You'll pleasego away and stop bothering. Sure,
if that's the way you feel aboutit, I am. I'm glad
you're getting a job back. Iheard what mister Parker said. I haven't
got it back yet. Whoa practically? Oh look Caroline know you're mad,
but oh I'm in a spot.Will you help me out? Mister Collins

(24:37):
is bony Missus Parker and she'll becoming up here pretty soon to get her
shoes. Well, and it isn'tjust me. Mister Collins will lose his
job. He told her that shewas to be here. I suppose that
was another one of your stories.Oh no, not exactly. But well
the point is, well, Carol, if you would just be a good
sport and gives them to me everythinghere, what would I do? Well,

(24:57):
I'll see you Offcome come on please? Well I don't know if I
should. The whole thing is yourown faults side. I can't walk home
in my fockey. I told youi'd think it. Good grief? What's
the manner? Miss Parker? Justgot out of the elevator, Can give
me those shoes? Wait? Godgoes, my god? Where what's going

(25:29):
on? You two? What?It's all right, missus Parker. It's
all right, Miss Bolton. Justflip. Why I hear, Miss Bolton.
Let me help you out. Inever sucking down, mister Vickmond.
You the house of here this minute, no howganizing of flowers with all this
racket. Oh are you backing toyour man? I've had dressed about enough

(25:52):
of this out here. Point youkeep out of this. Oh, my
dear feller, mister Parker, there'snothing they had excited about. I just
brought missus Parker's shoes up. That'sall I'm listening to me, young I
mean, mister Parker. Here theyare. It's so I said, I
get them for you, didn't Iare you sure these are mine? Young

(26:15):
man? Exactly, Missus Parker,try one of them on. If the
shoe fifth? What h what didyou say? Nothing? Nothing, mister
Parker. I only said, ifthe shoe fits, Missus Parker, will
an actually pay? This is theshoe fit. It's the Parker, young
man. You've hid it. Whatthe perfect slogan. Let me congratulate you,

(26:37):
mister Richmond, Paul Richmond. Youguys are get gides. I've been
trying to find a new slogan forthree week Richmond, and you'll give me
one and three minutes. I'm proudof you, thank you, mister Parker.
But I haven't done the publicity Richmond. Yes, good, I have
done a job waiting for you,two hundreds a week to stop and enough
to hunt. Well, yes,sir, but God God good part in

(27:00):
the morning. And oh yes youtoo, miss Bolton. Now that the
shoe business is taking out, maybeI'll get some piece of fiet around here,
Oh pill boy, you haven't evenlooked at my shoe? Would bring
along by dear you in the morning, Ristler, Yes, sir, thank
you mister Parker sho cal Did youhear what he said? I heard,

(27:22):
but I still don't have any shoes. Well, I said I'd think of
something, didn't I? Look,Carol, can't we be friends if you
aren't busy tonight? I thought,well, well, all right, it's
weel, Carrol, we'll bet along time. Well, I hope so.
In fact, I was thinking,he said, you and that if

(27:45):
missus Griggs really wants a wedding inher house, well, aren't you resting
things of this? Well? Ijust thought that Paul. Remember that hometown
boy that writes solo letters? Oh, yeah, from Logan. I forgot
about him. He's my cousin,Paul. He's married and has five children.

(28:06):
Yes, Oh that's great. Youknow I really love your Carol.
Are you sure that's not just anotherstory to keep me from feeling hurt?
Why I wouldn't hurt you for theworld. Give me a caw, oh

(28:30):
a cow? What matter you werestanding on my pols? Thank you,

(28:56):
ladies and gentlemen. This is oldsway. Again. We hope you enjoyed
the next boy. Next week,Grandmark, you will present a lighthearted tale
of love and laughter in which aslightly balmy young man knows what he wants
and proves it by proposing it firstsight. We think you'll enjoy Hell Guest
and Samuel Dan's love is a BetterWord? Good Night. The next original

(29:38):
play, If the Shoe Will Fits, were written by George Brensback, but
he was by Norman pelt Owen Sayplayed Paul and Earl Vaughan played Call.
The orchestra was conducted by Doors ofPlethio, with original music composed by Emma
Sotoscope. Whats for the next performancewhen Grand's Marquis will A Can plays with

(29:59):
light and high in the gay airways, inviting you to join our audience for
a performance, Son, love isa better word? You're an answer is
sleeve kirby grand Back. He isproduced in Chicago. This is NBC,
the National Broadcasting Company, a broadcastingcompany b