November 29, 2021 • 28 mins
In this episode of Green with Envy, Chelsea talks about her experience with friends of the opposite sex. She also let's us in on her fiance's sexually induced... issue. Finishing off the episode, Chelsea dishes on the messy moment at her bridal shower.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:21):
Yeah, Hello lovers, it isyour favorite hot mess formerly known as Laurel
van Ness, Recluse, sas Jada, and almost victorious. My name is
Chelsea motherfucking Green and welcome to Greenwith Envy. I hope all of my
(00:48):
American listeners had an awesome Thanksgiving.Um. I have such a love hate
relationship with with Instagram on American Thanksgiving. I'm sure you guys know exactly where
I'm going with this. I kindof love, but on the same token,
(01:10):
absolutely hate seeing the same goddamn photoover and over and over again.
Like I don't need to see yourturkey. I don't need to see your
mashed potatoes. I don't need tosee you with your family eating your mashed
(01:30):
potatoes and your turkey. You knowwhat, I don't even need to see
the clauge of shit that you're thankfulfor. Okay, Wow, way to
start this off on a negative note. Hey, Okay, I'm done being
a negative Nancy. I have onehundred and ten percent done that. Like,
(01:51):
actually, this year might be thefirst year that I didn't do that,
so really, truly, I haveno grounds to stand on. But
I think I'm just being negative becauseI wasn't able to be in the States
this year, so I couldn't celebratewith Matt or with his family. And
usually we fly up to New Yorkto see all of them and we,
(02:13):
you know, do the whole weekendthere and we do dinner with them,
which I love doing and it's becomea tradition, you know. And obviously
last year with COVID, we stayedhome and we actually decided that year to
have everyone over at our house,which I loved. But I don't know,
man, this year, I'm justsad. I went home this year
(02:39):
to Canada, but I oddly wasat home in Canada because I was homesick,
but felt homesick for Florida. SoI haven't been to Canada for the
past two years, you know,that little thing called a pandemic. So
(03:00):
I decided to go. This wasthe only time I could go. And
then yeah, I got home.I mean, I loved being home.
I could have stayed home for therest of the month, but watching everyone
celebrate American Thanksgiving made me then homesickfor America. So yeah, that was
all a very confusing feeling. Anyways, I survived the one thousand and one
(03:23):
Instagram posts. I crept them all. I mean, I probably even liked
them all, if I'm going tobe honest. But now we can officially
decorate for Christmas. Am I right? Like all the haters. They're done
with Thanksgiving. They are moving onto Christmas and allowing the rest of us
(03:44):
to do the same, all ofus who have been doing this for the
past month. We can all livein peace now because the thanksgivers are done.
The thanksgivers and didn't make sense,you know, a side from Christmas.
You guys know I tell you everyweek. I'm gonna say it again.
(04:06):
We are officially one month away fromme becoming a missus, one month
until I get married. I stillhave yet to get stressed out. So
I'm wondering if that's kind of aproblem. You know. I thought maybe
I would turn into a bridezilla andbe like super picky and everything. But
(04:33):
then I kind of realized, aswe were initially planning this wedding that maybe
I'm not that type of bride atall. Maybe I'm not a bridezilla.
So then, you know, Iobviously thought, okay, well, maybe
I will be that person. Iwill turn into a bride zilla closer to
the wedding. Maybe once we dothe finishing touches, I'll be like super
neurotic about everything. But yeah,now we're thirty days out and I am
(04:57):
still cool as a damn cucumber.I have yet to feel stressed or neurotic
about any of the details. Solet's just take a moment to pray for
Matt and my sanity that it staysthat way, because this has honestly been
the easiest thing in the world toplan. I love that I can say
that I'm I'm realizing how flakey peopleare. I will say that that is
(05:24):
a downside. Weddings really do showyou who truly is your friend or or
I guess who truly is a flake. You know, it's been interesting to
see the guest list of who iscoming verse who is invited. Like we
(05:44):
are down too. I think justover fifty percent of our invites actually attending
the wedding. And I mean,it's hard because there's been COVID and it's
Christmas time, but we also gavepeople like three years to plan this shit.
So yeah, that's all I'm gonnasay about that flaky, flakey flakey.
(06:08):
I'm just I'm just ready to getthis think done and ready to marry
Matt. I know he feels thesame way. I'm excited to take his
last name too, and I'm reallyexcited to wear my wedding band. We
bought that shit like eight months ago. Okay, Wow, I got sidetracked.
Classic. I guess this is whathappens when, you know, people
(06:29):
talk about their weddings. Like wealready know, I'm a narcissist. I
have my own podcast talking about myselfwith no guests on it. But you
know, here I am getting sidetrackedtalking about myself, story of my life.
Any Ways, what else did Ihave to tell you? Oh?
I mean, yeah, I havesomething fun to tell you. So I
(06:55):
was flying home from Canada back toAmerica and I actually ran into an old
friend in Calgary. Now I haven'tseen this old friend and probably seven years.
He was a friend but also aboss too, So we spent a
lot of time together, like alot a lot of time, and we
(07:15):
partied and we worked together, andwe did that for years until I moved
away for wrestling. So yeah,I ran into him at the Calgary airport
and it was so nice, liketo just sit and chat and hear about
all my old friends and my coworkersand everything in Calgary, and when he
(07:38):
left to board his flight, Idon't know, it got me thinking I
used to have so many male friendsin Calgary. Well not just in Calgary,
but you know, just so manymale friends, and a lot like
I do still keep in touch withhere and there, but just not like
(07:58):
we used to. I mean,of course, right, I think because
I got into a serious relationship andI just started slowly kind of cutting out
that part of my life. ButI don't know, is that wrong?
I kept all my female friends,so why I don't know. Why did
(08:22):
I think I had to cut outthe mails? None of the ones I
keep in contact with were anything butfriends. Like That's where I think,
I think we draw the line inthe sand for keeping relationships with the opposite
sex when we start seeing somebody,you know what I mean, Like,
do you stay friends with people thatyou've slept with? I don't. I
(08:48):
don't, I don't like. Ithink it's just a little weird. But
what do you guys base it on. I'm realizing that as I'm kind of
talking to you guys, I feellike this happens to me every week.
I don't really know what I basedit on. I hope I'm making sense.
I'm just babbling, aren't I?But anyway, I just feel like
I'm realizing that I don't know why, and I don't like that I cut
(09:13):
off a lot of my really amazingguy friends just because they're guys. Now,
I do think there's something to besaid about cutting off your you know,
quote unquote guy friends or girlfriends AKAthe ones that you slept with,
it the ones you've been intimate with. That's a hard line you should not
cross. But I don't think youneed to cut out your male or female
(09:37):
friends that you've been strictly platonic with. Am I right? But see,
as I'm again saying this, here'sa thing. I am also thinking about
the relationships that Matt had with femalesthat I didn't necessarily feel comfortable with.
He actually had two close female friends, specifically that he worked with, and
(09:58):
he texted often. But I don'tknow, man, I just got really
weird vibes. Maybe jealousy, likemaybe just strictly jealousy because he didn't sleep
with either of them. I knowthat, but I think because he shared
some sort of bond with them thatpossibly went beyond just a basic friendship.
(10:20):
That's where I kind of felt threatened. See this is where my FBI skills
come in handy. I can sniffout a friend or a quote unquote friend
from a mile away. But that'sa whole different story. You guys know
that I already share that with youon the Bitch at the Wedding episode.
But here's my thought. My thoughtis, I'm gonna bring Matt to Calgary,
(10:46):
and I'm gonna let him meet allmy friends guy's a girls, and
he can decide for himself. Youknow, he can choose who he likes
who he doesn't like. But atthe end of the day, then I
can show him that all of myfriends are actually just friends and nothing else,
and then we can all like hangout as couples too. I mean,
(11:07):
I feel like I really just madeus all about Matt when it isn't
at all. I think I'm justdeflecting because I'm just kind of like trying
to figure this all out, andI'm talking through it as I go.
Do we keep our opposite sex friendswhen we're in a serious relationship? Do
I want to keep my guy friendswhile still making my partner feel comfortable.
(11:31):
It's a respect thing. You know, what do you think the ground rules
are for keeping your friends of theopposite sex when you're in a relationship,
and also if you're in the samesex relationship. Actually, my question is
if you're in the same sex,if you're in a same sex relationship,
do you keep your friends of thesame sex? See that seems crazy?
Of course you would, But youknow, where do you draw the line?
(11:56):
Is it purely just whether or notyou've had chemistry with that person in
same sex or opposite sex? Isthat the line? God? I have
so many questions. Did I justdo a podcast and ask you guys a
bunch of questions and not actually answermyself? I think I just did so
be right back while while I googlehot mess confess since we were already on
(12:39):
the topic of my fiance Matt,and we'll not really but I'm just gonna
pretend that it's the perfect segue.Let me just let me just do my
hot mess confess for him this weekabout him, of him for him,
I don't know now. At firstI thought this weird habit that he had
(13:03):
was one of a kind, Andfinally, after a few years of being
with him, I looked it upI don't know why it took me that
long, but I finally googled it. I love my Google, love to
look things up. Have you guysever heard of sneezing when you are turned
(13:24):
on? No? No, youhaven't. I'm guessing the answer is nope.
You are probably asking yourself, whatthe fuck is she talking about?
Well, people, I am hereto tell you that it, in fact
is a thing, and it's correlatedsneezing and being turned on. Yep,
(13:45):
it's correlated. So every time Matttries to say something dirty to me,
nothing crazy like, I don't know. For example, it could be I
don't even know, Hey Chelsea,why don't you come over here in that
towel? That wasn't a great example, but whatever, it's real. He
will sneeze mid sentence. It isthe wildest thing. So, of course,
(14:09):
like I said, I googled itbecause I could never stop laughing every
time it happened, and obviously ithappens all the time. Every single time
that he gets turned on, hesneezes when he tries to say something to
me. So when I googled it, I learned that it is called sexually
(14:31):
induced sneezing and Google describes it aswhen a person experiences sneezing as a result
of sexual thoughts, arousal intercourse,or an orgasm. Oh my god,
I can't even imagine sneezing from orgasms. That is just that's so great.
(14:52):
And actually apparently it is a genetictrait, and they say that you can't
really stop it, but sometimes ifyou take a nasal decongestent that may prevent
it. I don't know why anyonewould care enough to take a decongestin every
time they're going to have sex.Actually, no, because maybe if you
(15:15):
sneeze when your orgasm, you might. Anyways, don't mind me just sharing
Matt's business with you all, Sofor all you sneezers out there, you're
not alone. Messy moment of theweek. So this week, like I
told you very quickly because I'm totallyscatter brain today, but I went home
(15:37):
to Canada and I only went forforty eight hours, just two quick days.
But oh my gosh, you guys, best forty eight hours ever.
And on Wednesday night, my sisterhad planned for me to go to dinner,
and she planned at dinner, Ithink it was like going to be
(15:58):
her myself my grandma and my mom. Now, you guys know, I'm
fucking Nancy Drew. I figure everythingout. There's literally no surprise that I
don't know about. But this weekthat all changed. People. My sister
planned a little impromptu bridle shower forme that I can actually admit I had
(16:22):
no idea was coming. I wastotally shocked. Well, I will say
that I didn't walk in the doorshocked, so she kind of blew it.
No, she didn't, but shealso had to. So here's what
I mean about. Twenty minutes beforeI walked in the door, I figured
(16:45):
it out. Here's how it allwent down. So basically, she planned
a little family dinner, and beforewe left to go for the dinner,
she told me she wanted to takea cute photo, so she told me
to put make mom She's like,I want to, you know, I
want to get a cute little familyphoto. Sure, you put makeum on.
Of course, me being me,I refuse to put makeup on,
which I definitely regretted in the followinghours. I left the house in jeans,
(17:14):
ripped jeans, actually a baggy shirtand no makeup and also kind of
questionable hair. But luckily it washalf done, and my sister dropped me
off to hang out with my grandmabefore dinner. And then around like five
PM, my mom shows up topick us up for dinner. And at
this point I still have zero cluewhat's going on now. My first clue
(17:37):
was that she told me to putmakeup on. But to be fair,
my sister's always done up. Shealways has makeup on and her hair done.
She's always looking perfect, and Ialways look somewhat. I don't know.
How do I put it? Lazy, sloppy, chic, upscale,
upscale slab, I don't know.So her callowing me to put makeup on
(18:00):
and actually wash my hair is likenothing new. Anyways, my mom chose
up to pick me up and shehands me this bag, and in the
bag is a white dress and abra, and she says, okay,
put this on. We're going toyour sister's house. Okay. So right
when I saw the dress, thegig was up, right, gig jig,
(18:22):
the jig was up. I don'tknow, whatever whatever it was was
up, I knew right then andthere obviously like this was some sort of
bridle shower. So let me tellyou something. I put that dress on,
and I had to go to mylittle surprise bridle shower with no makeup
on a cute little dress but nomakeup, greasy hair, and I hadn't
(18:51):
shaved my legs in a week toboot, so yeah, there you have
it. Oh. I was alsowearing sneakers, so yeah, very cute,
very cute. Now that's not eventhe massy moment, you guys.
So I'm in this all white outfitdriving to my you know now, not
(19:12):
so surprised bridle shower, and allof a sudden, my sister's puppy,
who is in the car with me, well actually on me, starts gagging
and he starts puking up all overme in the backseat of the car,
a full sock, a whole freakingsock. So there I am in this
(19:37):
little white dress. I'm screaming.My mom is trying to pull over.
My Grandma's in the front seat wonderingwhat is going on. The dog's puking
all over me. I'm trying tolike duck and dodge the vomit so I
don't show up in my freaking bridleshower with hairy legs, sneakers and dog
puke on me. Yeah, Sothat's the story of my very classy ride
to my bridle shower. I didmanage, by some miracle to not get
(20:03):
puke on me, and I hada great night. Moral of the story
is always listened to your sister whenshe tells you to put makeup on,
okay, and always keep your legsshaved, and don't put socks close to
butter the Bernadoodle. Welcome to myfavorite segment, Mean Tweets for Mean People.
(20:30):
So I actually was not going todo this segment this week and write.
As I started recording this, Iread the most beautiful DM and I
thought it would be a shame tonot include that in this week's segment.
(20:51):
So I've only got one mean tweetfor you, and it is a DM
from Instagram. I'm currently at RussellKade and I posted a photo, just
a selfie of meme a wrestlcaide andthis person commented, You're only a wrestler
because you're ars and tits, youslag. So I think this person is
(21:12):
British, and let me translate formy fellow North Americans. You are only
a wrestler because your ass and boobs, you slut. I don't even know
what that means? Like, whatdoes that mean? I got fake boobs
and only just now. So,Actually, it wasn't because of my boobs
(21:33):
because I had small boobs. It'snot because of my ass because I'll tell
you what, I have a regularold white girl pancake ass. So I
don't think so, But try again, mister. Don't forget every week to
ask me your burning questions using thehashtag hot messages on Twitter. Don't forget
(21:56):
to tag me at green w NVpod. All right, so my first
question today is from Peyton, andPeyton asked, I started in high school
this year and I like this guywho also likes me back. Do you
have any advice for talking to him? I always get too scared. L
(22:17):
Oh, this is such a greatquestion. I love this because I think
that just starting relationships in general isso awkward, and that is, you
know, not even when you're inhigh school. When you're in high school
so much worse. So definitely,my first little bit of advice to you
is, if he likes you,you could fucking talk about anything. If
(22:41):
he likes you and you like him, you are already off to a great
start. You don't even have tolike, you know, dig for something
to try to open up the conversationabout, because you guys like each other.
But I will say, like,it's always just great to start talking
about something that you both have incommon, or some thing that that person
likes. So you know, ifyou guys are both in the same math
(23:04):
class together or whatever, and likeyou, I don't know, maybe you
have a shit teacher or a greatteacher, just talk about that. Just
all you need to do is tokind of like just open the door a
tiny, a little bit and thensee what happens. Because I think if
you guys both like each other,whatever you say, it's just gonna snowball
and you're gonna end up talking aboutwhatever it is you want to talk about.
(23:26):
But you know, or does heplay sports? Does he you know,
whatever it is, start talking tohim about that. Don't pretend you
don't. Don't pretend you like somethingthough, if you don't like if he
fucking plays hockey and you've never watcheda goddamn day of hockey in your life,
do not pretend to be the biggesthockey fan. Okay, I've tried
(23:47):
that and it doesn't work. Mattcalls me out in it all the time.
I don't know anything about wrestling,so I don't pretend to know.
I mean, maybe that's a goodopener for you. Hey, I don't
know anything about whatever sport you play, but you should teach me. Maybe
(24:07):
don't say it creepy like that,but say it cute, Peyton. I
love that question. Next question,WCW Breakdown asked, do you have any
interest in a backstage role now orin the future. Given your experience with
different positions, you probably have seena lot of styles and plenty of people
to draw inspiration from. I lovethis question, and I love it because
(24:36):
I am slowly starting to branch out. You guys have seen me, you
know, talking a lot more lately, and of course with the podcast,
I'm trying to flex, like justmy interview skills a little bit, or
I guess, just my talking chops, but of course a ring of honor.
I've been doing a lot more commentary, and now I'm kind of starting
(24:57):
to debate whether or not I wantto get into, Yeah, a backstage
role, a ring announcer role,a commentary role, just maybe something where
I'm not putting my body on theline. But I'm still in wrestling and
still surrounded by my friends and mycoworkers and stuff. I really think I
(25:18):
could, but I'm also still tryingto convince myself, so stay tuned on
That last question is from Wayne SeaGuards. I hope I got that right.
Wayne thoughts on ugly Christmas sweaters.Okay, plain and simple. I
fucking love them, love them,love ugly Christmas sweaters. I just love
(25:45):
anything that has to do with Christmas. I don't discriminate anything Christmas. Ee
I love Wayne, Ugly Christmas sweatersare right up there on my fucking list
of shit I love. Each weekI will send out a vi tense to
a few listeners who tweet or DMme showing me their five star reviews.
(26:10):
First of all, shout out tothe guy at Russell Kade that showed me
his five star review. He wasliterally writing me a five star review in
lineup to meet me. It wasawesome, but you guys know the drill.
Thank you to Ben Beck, Garylay twenty, and Jeff altof altof
(26:33):
altof Thank you guys for your reviews. Make sure to DM the podcast with
your full name and address. Andfor the rest of you fuckers, don't
forget to rate review and subscribe tocatch me every single Monday, but right
and early. Today's episode was short, but it was sweet. I am
(26:57):
so happy to be able to beback meeting everybody. Like I said,
I'm currently in North Carolina in WinstonSalem meeting everybody at Russell Kate and it's
just been so awesome to be backmeeting everybody and hugging people and shaking hands
and signing stuff and taking pictures.I love you, guys. I know
(27:18):
that everybody who listens here has beenthe most supportive group. So thank you.
I love you. Almost Merry Christmas. That's it for today. Thank
you guys for tuning in. Don'tforget to head over too. Only Fans
dot com slash Chelsea a Green forexclusive content and behind the scenes footage,
(27:42):
and Chelsea a Green dot Big Carteldot com for limited edition merchandise. Make
sure to check us out on Instagramand Twitter at Green WMV pod and let
us know what you want to hear. You already know nothing is off limits.
I love you all. Thank youto the wrestling gods, and bless
(28:07):
this mess. Yeah fucking healing herdirty dress starting out in a Sunday best
fucking tears fallow into her chest,but she's okay as she shot Spie the
(28:30):
Ramba the body girl to get thestand you in. But you're still alone.
Another Dan me another Oh my god, I'm so in love with her.
I absolutely know this, absolutely not, absolutely not, this is gonna
last forever. I love so much, Beauty Quick
Yeah, Hello lovers, it isyour favorite hot mess formerly known as Laurel
van Ness, Recluse, sas Jada, and almost victorious. My name is
Chelsea motherfucking Green and welcome to Greenwith Envy. I hope all of my
(00:48):
American listeners had an awesome Thanksgiving.Um. I have such a love hate
relationship with with Instagram on American Thanksgiving. I'm sure you guys know exactly where
I'm going with this. I kindof love, but on the same token,
(01:10):
absolutely hate seeing the same goddamn photoover and over and over again.
Like I don't need to see yourturkey. I don't need to see your
mashed potatoes. I don't need tosee you with your family eating your mashed
(01:30):
potatoes and your turkey. You knowwhat, I don't even need to see
the clauge of shit that you're thankfulfor. Okay, Wow, way to
start this off on a negative note. Hey, Okay, I'm done being
a negative Nancy. I have onehundred and ten percent done that. Like,
(01:51):
actually, this year might be thefirst year that I didn't do that,
so really, truly, I haveno grounds to stand on. But
I think I'm just being negative becauseI wasn't able to be in the States
this year, so I couldn't celebratewith Matt or with his family. And
usually we fly up to New Yorkto see all of them and we,
(02:13):
you know, do the whole weekendthere and we do dinner with them,
which I love doing and it's becomea tradition, you know. And obviously
last year with COVID, we stayedhome and we actually decided that year to
have everyone over at our house,which I loved. But I don't know,
man, this year, I'm justsad. I went home this year
(02:39):
to Canada, but I oddly wasat home in Canada because I was homesick,
but felt homesick for Florida. SoI haven't been to Canada for the
past two years, you know,that little thing called a pandemic. So
(03:00):
I decided to go. This wasthe only time I could go. And
then yeah, I got home.I mean, I loved being home.
I could have stayed home for therest of the month, but watching everyone
celebrate American Thanksgiving made me then homesickfor America. So yeah, that was
all a very confusing feeling. Anyways, I survived the one thousand and one
(03:23):
Instagram posts. I crept them all. I mean, I probably even liked
them all, if I'm going tobe honest. But now we can officially
decorate for Christmas. Am I right? Like all the haters. They're done
with Thanksgiving. They are moving onto Christmas and allowing the rest of us
(03:44):
to do the same, all ofus who have been doing this for the
past month. We can all livein peace now because the thanksgivers are done.
The thanksgivers and didn't make sense,you know, a side from Christmas.
You guys know I tell you everyweek. I'm gonna say it again.
(04:06):
We are officially one month away fromme becoming a missus, one month
until I get married. I stillhave yet to get stressed out. So
I'm wondering if that's kind of aproblem. You know. I thought maybe
I would turn into a bridezilla andbe like super picky and everything. But
(04:33):
then I kind of realized, aswe were initially planning this wedding that maybe
I'm not that type of bride atall. Maybe I'm not a bridezilla.
So then, you know, Iobviously thought, okay, well, maybe
I will be that person. Iwill turn into a bride zilla closer to
the wedding. Maybe once we dothe finishing touches, I'll be like super
neurotic about everything. But yeah,now we're thirty days out and I am
(04:57):
still cool as a damn cucumber.I have yet to feel stressed or neurotic
about any of the details. Solet's just take a moment to pray for
Matt and my sanity that it staysthat way, because this has honestly been
the easiest thing in the world toplan. I love that I can say
that I'm I'm realizing how flakey peopleare. I will say that that is
(05:24):
a downside. Weddings really do showyou who truly is your friend or or
I guess who truly is a flake. You know, it's been interesting to
see the guest list of who iscoming verse who is invited. Like we
(05:44):
are down too. I think justover fifty percent of our invites actually attending
the wedding. And I mean,it's hard because there's been COVID and it's
Christmas time, but we also gavepeople like three years to plan this shit.
So yeah, that's all I'm gonnasay about that flaky, flakey flakey.
(06:08):
I'm just I'm just ready to getthis think done and ready to marry
Matt. I know he feels thesame way. I'm excited to take his
last name too, and I'm reallyexcited to wear my wedding band. We
bought that shit like eight months ago. Okay, Wow, I got sidetracked.
Classic. I guess this is whathappens when, you know, people
(06:29):
talk about their weddings. Like wealready know, I'm a narcissist. I
have my own podcast talking about myselfwith no guests on it. But you
know, here I am getting sidetrackedtalking about myself, story of my life.
Any Ways, what else did Ihave to tell you? Oh?
I mean, yeah, I havesomething fun to tell you. So I
(06:55):
was flying home from Canada back toAmerica and I actually ran into an old
friend in Calgary. Now I haven'tseen this old friend and probably seven years.
He was a friend but also aboss too, So we spent a
lot of time together, like alot a lot of time, and we
(07:15):
partied and we worked together, andwe did that for years until I moved
away for wrestling. So yeah,I ran into him at the Calgary airport
and it was so nice, liketo just sit and chat and hear about
all my old friends and my coworkersand everything in Calgary, and when he
(07:38):
left to board his flight, Idon't know, it got me thinking I
used to have so many male friendsin Calgary. Well not just in Calgary,
but you know, just so manymale friends, and a lot like
I do still keep in touch withhere and there, but just not like
(07:58):
we used to. I mean,of course, right, I think because
I got into a serious relationship andI just started slowly kind of cutting out
that part of my life. ButI don't know, is that wrong?
I kept all my female friends,so why I don't know. Why did
(08:22):
I think I had to cut outthe mails? None of the ones I
keep in contact with were anything butfriends. Like That's where I think,
I think we draw the line inthe sand for keeping relationships with the opposite
sex when we start seeing somebody,you know what I mean, Like,
do you stay friends with people thatyou've slept with? I don't. I
(08:48):
don't, I don't like. Ithink it's just a little weird. But
what do you guys base it on. I'm realizing that as I'm kind of
talking to you guys, I feellike this happens to me every week.
I don't really know what I basedit on. I hope I'm making sense.
I'm just babbling, aren't I?But anyway, I just feel like
I'm realizing that I don't know why, and I don't like that I cut
(09:13):
off a lot of my really amazingguy friends just because they're guys. Now,
I do think there's something to besaid about cutting off your you know,
quote unquote guy friends or girlfriends AKAthe ones that you slept with,
it the ones you've been intimate with. That's a hard line you should not
cross. But I don't think youneed to cut out your male or female
(09:37):
friends that you've been strictly platonic with. Am I right? But see,
as I'm again saying this, here'sa thing. I am also thinking about
the relationships that Matt had with femalesthat I didn't necessarily feel comfortable with.
He actually had two close female friends, specifically that he worked with, and
(09:58):
he texted often. But I don'tknow, man, I just got really
weird vibes. Maybe jealousy, likemaybe just strictly jealousy because he didn't sleep
with either of them. I knowthat, but I think because he shared
some sort of bond with them thatpossibly went beyond just a basic friendship.
(10:20):
That's where I kind of felt threatened. See this is where my FBI skills
come in handy. I can sniffout a friend or a quote unquote friend
from a mile away. But that'sa whole different story. You guys know
that I already share that with youon the Bitch at the Wedding episode.
But here's my thought. My thoughtis, I'm gonna bring Matt to Calgary,
(10:46):
and I'm gonna let him meet allmy friends guy's a girls, and
he can decide for himself. Youknow, he can choose who he likes
who he doesn't like. But atthe end of the day, then I
can show him that all of myfriends are actually just friends and nothing else,
and then we can all like hangout as couples too. I mean,
(11:07):
I feel like I really just madeus all about Matt when it isn't
at all. I think I'm justdeflecting because I'm just kind of like trying
to figure this all out, andI'm talking through it as I go.
Do we keep our opposite sex friendswhen we're in a serious relationship? Do
I want to keep my guy friendswhile still making my partner feel comfortable.
(11:31):
It's a respect thing. You know, what do you think the ground rules
are for keeping your friends of theopposite sex when you're in a relationship,
and also if you're in the samesex relationship. Actually, my question is
if you're in the same sex,if you're in a same sex relationship,
do you keep your friends of thesame sex? See that seems crazy?
Of course you would, But youknow, where do you draw the line?
(11:56):
Is it purely just whether or notyou've had chemistry with that person in
same sex or opposite sex? Isthat the line? God? I have
so many questions. Did I justdo a podcast and ask you guys a
bunch of questions and not actually answermyself? I think I just did so
be right back while while I googlehot mess confess since we were already on
(12:39):
the topic of my fiance Matt,and we'll not really but I'm just gonna
pretend that it's the perfect segue.Let me just let me just do my
hot mess confess for him this weekabout him, of him for him,
I don't know now. At firstI thought this weird habit that he had
(13:03):
was one of a kind, Andfinally, after a few years of being
with him, I looked it upI don't know why it took me that
long, but I finally googled it. I love my Google, love to
look things up. Have you guysever heard of sneezing when you are turned
(13:24):
on? No? No, youhaven't. I'm guessing the answer is nope.
You are probably asking yourself, whatthe fuck is she talking about?
Well, people, I am hereto tell you that it, in fact
is a thing, and it's correlatedsneezing and being turned on. Yep,
(13:45):
it's correlated. So every time Matttries to say something dirty to me,
nothing crazy like, I don't know. For example, it could be I
don't even know, Hey Chelsea,why don't you come over here in that
towel? That wasn't a great example, but whatever, it's real. He
will sneeze mid sentence. It isthe wildest thing. So, of course,
(14:09):
like I said, I googled itbecause I could never stop laughing every
time it happened, and obviously ithappens all the time. Every single time
that he gets turned on, hesneezes when he tries to say something to
me. So when I googled it, I learned that it is called sexually
(14:31):
induced sneezing and Google describes it aswhen a person experiences sneezing as a result
of sexual thoughts, arousal intercourse,or an orgasm. Oh my god,
I can't even imagine sneezing from orgasms. That is just that's so great.
(14:52):
And actually apparently it is a genetictrait, and they say that you can't
really stop it, but sometimes ifyou take a nasal decongestent that may prevent
it. I don't know why anyonewould care enough to take a decongestin every
time they're going to have sex.Actually, no, because maybe if you
(15:15):
sneeze when your orgasm, you might. Anyways, don't mind me just sharing
Matt's business with you all, Sofor all you sneezers out there, you're
not alone. Messy moment of theweek. So this week, like I
told you very quickly because I'm totallyscatter brain today, but I went home
(15:37):
to Canada and I only went forforty eight hours, just two quick days.
But oh my gosh, you guys, best forty eight hours ever.
And on Wednesday night, my sisterhad planned for me to go to dinner,
and she planned at dinner, Ithink it was like going to be
(15:58):
her myself my grandma and my mom. Now, you guys know, I'm
fucking Nancy Drew. I figure everythingout. There's literally no surprise that I
don't know about. But this weekthat all changed. People. My sister
planned a little impromptu bridle shower forme that I can actually admit I had
(16:22):
no idea was coming. I wastotally shocked. Well, I will say
that I didn't walk in the doorshocked, so she kind of blew it.
No, she didn't, but shealso had to. So here's what
I mean about. Twenty minutes beforeI walked in the door, I figured
(16:45):
it out. Here's how it allwent down. So basically, she planned
a little family dinner, and beforewe left to go for the dinner,
she told me she wanted to takea cute photo, so she told me
to put make mom She's like,I want to, you know, I
want to get a cute little familyphoto. Sure, you put makeum on.
Of course, me being me,I refuse to put makeup on,
which I definitely regretted in the followinghours. I left the house in jeans,
(17:14):
ripped jeans, actually a baggy shirtand no makeup and also kind of
questionable hair. But luckily it washalf done, and my sister dropped me
off to hang out with my grandmabefore dinner. And then around like five
PM, my mom shows up topick us up for dinner. And at
this point I still have zero cluewhat's going on now. My first clue
(17:37):
was that she told me to putmakeup on. But to be fair,
my sister's always done up. Shealways has makeup on and her hair done.
She's always looking perfect, and Ialways look somewhat. I don't know.
How do I put it? Lazy, sloppy, chic, upscale,
upscale slab, I don't know.So her callowing me to put makeup on
(18:00):
and actually wash my hair is likenothing new. Anyways, my mom chose
up to pick me up and shehands me this bag, and in the
bag is a white dress and abra, and she says, okay,
put this on. We're going toyour sister's house. Okay. So right
when I saw the dress, thegig was up, right, gig jig,
(18:22):
the jig was up. I don'tknow, whatever whatever it was was
up, I knew right then andthere obviously like this was some sort of
bridle shower. So let me tellyou something. I put that dress on,
and I had to go to mylittle surprise bridle shower with no makeup
on a cute little dress but nomakeup, greasy hair, and I hadn't
(18:51):
shaved my legs in a week toboot, so yeah, there you have
it. Oh. I was alsowearing sneakers, so yeah, very cute,
very cute. Now that's not eventhe massy moment, you guys.
So I'm in this all white outfitdriving to my you know now, not
(19:12):
so surprised bridle shower, and allof a sudden, my sister's puppy,
who is in the car with me, well actually on me, starts gagging
and he starts puking up all overme in the backseat of the car,
a full sock, a whole freakingsock. So there I am in this
(19:37):
little white dress. I'm screaming.My mom is trying to pull over.
My Grandma's in the front seat wonderingwhat is going on. The dog's puking
all over me. I'm trying tolike duck and dodge the vomit so I
don't show up in my freaking bridleshower with hairy legs, sneakers and dog
puke on me. Yeah, Sothat's the story of my very classy ride
to my bridle shower. I didmanage, by some miracle to not get
(20:03):
puke on me, and I hada great night. Moral of the story
is always listened to your sister whenshe tells you to put makeup on,
okay, and always keep your legsshaved, and don't put socks close to
butter the Bernadoodle. Welcome to myfavorite segment, Mean Tweets for Mean People.
(20:30):
So I actually was not going todo this segment this week and write.
As I started recording this, Iread the most beautiful DM and I
thought it would be a shame tonot include that in this week's segment.
(20:51):
So I've only got one mean tweetfor you, and it is a DM
from Instagram. I'm currently at RussellKade and I posted a photo, just
a selfie of meme a wrestlcaide andthis person commented, You're only a wrestler
because you're ars and tits, youslag. So I think this person is
(21:12):
British, and let me translate formy fellow North Americans. You are only
a wrestler because your ass and boobs, you slut. I don't even know
what that means? Like, whatdoes that mean? I got fake boobs
and only just now. So,Actually, it wasn't because of my boobs
(21:33):
because I had small boobs. It'snot because of my ass because I'll tell
you what, I have a regularold white girl pancake ass. So I
don't think so, But try again, mister. Don't forget every week to
ask me your burning questions using thehashtag hot messages on Twitter. Don't forget
(21:56):
to tag me at green w NVpod. All right, so my first
question today is from Peyton, andPeyton asked, I started in high school
this year and I like this guywho also likes me back. Do you
have any advice for talking to him? I always get too scared. L
(22:17):
Oh, this is such a greatquestion. I love this because I think
that just starting relationships in general isso awkward, and that is, you
know, not even when you're inhigh school. When you're in high school
so much worse. So definitely,my first little bit of advice to you
is, if he likes you,you could fucking talk about anything. If
(22:41):
he likes you and you like him, you are already off to a great
start. You don't even have tolike, you know, dig for something
to try to open up the conversationabout, because you guys like each other.
But I will say, like,it's always just great to start talking
about something that you both have incommon, or some thing that that person
likes. So you know, ifyou guys are both in the same math
(23:04):
class together or whatever, and likeyou, I don't know, maybe you
have a shit teacher or a greatteacher, just talk about that. Just
all you need to do is tokind of like just open the door a
tiny, a little bit and thensee what happens. Because I think if
you guys both like each other,whatever you say, it's just gonna snowball
and you're gonna end up talking aboutwhatever it is you want to talk about.
(23:26):
But you know, or does heplay sports? Does he you know,
whatever it is, start talking tohim about that. Don't pretend you
don't. Don't pretend you like somethingthough, if you don't like if he
fucking plays hockey and you've never watcheda goddamn day of hockey in your life,
do not pretend to be the biggesthockey fan. Okay, I've tried
(23:47):
that and it doesn't work. Mattcalls me out in it all the time.
I don't know anything about wrestling,so I don't pretend to know.
I mean, maybe that's a goodopener for you. Hey, I don't
know anything about whatever sport you play, but you should teach me. Maybe
(24:07):
don't say it creepy like that,but say it cute, Peyton. I
love that question. Next question,WCW Breakdown asked, do you have any
interest in a backstage role now orin the future. Given your experience with
different positions, you probably have seena lot of styles and plenty of people
to draw inspiration from. I lovethis question, and I love it because
(24:36):
I am slowly starting to branch out. You guys have seen me, you
know, talking a lot more lately, and of course with the podcast,
I'm trying to flex, like justmy interview skills a little bit, or
I guess, just my talking chops, but of course a ring of honor.
I've been doing a lot more commentary, and now I'm kind of starting
(24:57):
to debate whether or not I wantto get into, Yeah, a backstage
role, a ring announcer role,a commentary role, just maybe something where
I'm not putting my body on theline. But I'm still in wrestling and
still surrounded by my friends and mycoworkers and stuff. I really think I
(25:18):
could, but I'm also still tryingto convince myself, so stay tuned on
That last question is from Wayne SeaGuards. I hope I got that right.
Wayne thoughts on ugly Christmas sweaters.Okay, plain and simple. I
fucking love them, love them,love ugly Christmas sweaters. I just love
(25:45):
anything that has to do with Christmas. I don't discriminate anything Christmas. Ee
I love Wayne, Ugly Christmas sweatersare right up there on my fucking list
of shit I love. Each weekI will send out a vi tense to
a few listeners who tweet or DMme showing me their five star reviews.
(26:10):
First of all, shout out tothe guy at Russell Kade that showed me
his five star review. He wasliterally writing me a five star review in
lineup to meet me. It wasawesome, but you guys know the drill.
Thank you to Ben Beck, Garylay twenty, and Jeff altof altof
(26:33):
altof Thank you guys for your reviews. Make sure to DM the podcast with
your full name and address. Andfor the rest of you fuckers, don't
forget to rate review and subscribe tocatch me every single Monday, but right
and early. Today's episode was short, but it was sweet. I am
(26:57):
so happy to be able to beback meeting everybody. Like I said,
I'm currently in North Carolina in WinstonSalem meeting everybody at Russell Kate and it's
just been so awesome to be backmeeting everybody and hugging people and shaking hands
and signing stuff and taking pictures.I love you, guys. I know
(27:18):
that everybody who listens here has beenthe most supportive group. So thank you.
I love you. Almost Merry Christmas. That's it for today. Thank
you guys for tuning in. Don'tforget to head over too. Only Fans
dot com slash Chelsea a Green forexclusive content and behind the scenes footage,
(27:42):
and Chelsea a Green dot Big Carteldot com for limited edition merchandise. Make
sure to check us out on Instagramand Twitter at Green WMV pod and let
us know what you want to hear. You already know nothing is off limits.
I love you all. Thank youto the wrestling gods, and bless
(28:07):
this mess. Yeah fucking healing herdirty dress starting out in a Sunday best
fucking tears fallow into her chest,but she's okay as she shot Spie the
(28:30):
Ramba the body girl to get thestand you in. But you're still alone.
Another Dan me another Oh my god, I'm so in love with her.
I absolutely know this, absolutely not, absolutely not, this is gonna
last forever. I love so much, Beauty Quick
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