Sister Takeover

In this episode of Green with Envy, Chelsea is interviewed by none other than her own sister. She spills the tea on meeting her future husband, celebs and Tough Enough drama. Finishing off the episode, Chelsea answers your Hot Messages.

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Episode Transcript

(00:29):
Hello, lovers, it is yourfavorite hot mess formerly known as Laurel van
Ness, Ray, Clusa, Jada, and almost Victorious. My name is
Chelsea motherfucking Green and welcome to Greenwith Envy, Mary grinch Mess. Everybody,

(00:53):
Happy holidays. I hope you guyshave had such an amazing saying weekend.
I hope you guys had the bestweekend with families and friends and loved
ones and drunk uncles and annoying sisters. Hey wait, wait a second,
speaking of annoying sisters, that's right, folks, the time has come.

(01:23):
My sister is officially in America andready to annoy the shit out of me.
I'm gonna be handing over the microphoneto her, and she's going to
take the reins today and she's justgonna learn how hard it is to be
a professional podcast dial She gonna learntoday, isn't she so? Tessa is

(01:51):
my younger sister. Okay, she'syounger than me. She's thirteen months younger
to be exact, and we've basicallybeen bff our entire lives because having a
sibling that is close to you inage is basically just having a built in
friend. That's how it works.Actually, that just reminded me of something

(02:13):
I will never I will never forget. I was probably seventeen and my parents
had just bought my sister and Ithis shit box of a car. It
was, oh my god, itwas amazing and it was horrible. It
had white rims on it, andit smelt like an ashtray, an absolute

(02:39):
ash tray. But we didn't care. We were so excited to fucking drive
our piece of shit car around town. Anyways, I hadn't got my full
license yet, so I wasn't ableto drive my sister and I around.
And on this particular day, Ihad to go to work, so I

(03:00):
had to take the bus downtown.It was, oh god, it was
a bitch to take the bus downtownbecause you had to take like two or
three buses to get to work.So I'm on, you know, I
took the bus there. I worka full day, eight hour shift,
and I'm on my way home froma long day of work and a long

(03:21):
bus ride. And I look outthe window and what do I see.
Oh that's my piece of shit whitecar. Uh huh. And who's in
it? It's my sister Joy ridingpast me in our piece of shit car.
That's right, while I'm sitting onthe bus, just out and about

(03:46):
with her friends in our car justnot even the least bit legal. Yep,
yep. So that's um just oneof the many stories I'm sure we
will share with you today in thisepisode. So fucking get ready put your

(04:08):
seat belts on, people. Okay, but first we're going to do a
couple more segments before we get intoTessa Grills Chelsea young mess. Okay,
guys, this one it's only threeyears old. So in twenty eighteen,

(04:33):
I wrote, last night I wentto a club and I had an anxiety
attack over the amount of human stuffedin one bar. I had to leave.
Okay, so I feel like thisstatus I had to share because it
is aging. So well, dowe not all feel like that? Now?
Now I don't have to feel likea grandma. We all feel this

(04:55):
way. We are all in thesame COVID boat together. People, you
have reached this ice mailbox of hotmessages. Don't forget every single week to
ask me your questions using the hashtaghot messages on Twitter. This week,
I'm going to be answering a littlebit of everything, but some wrestling questions.

(05:17):
So let's get to it. StanleyRoberts asked what's your all time favorite
wrestling gear worn by a male ora female. Well, I think it
would be crazy to not just saymy own gear. I mean, I

(05:40):
fucking love a lot of the gearI've worn. Gosh, I absolutely love
my two sets that were made intoaction figures because hello, we will forever
remember those figures because they're action figures. I also love a set that I
have yet to wear. It isVancouver Connects Colors that I'm saving. I've

(06:02):
actually had it. I was hopingto redbut in it on SmackDown. Of
course I got fired before that minordetail. But I'm really waiting to wear
it for something special, something thatreally matters to me, you know,
whether it's a title match or whateverit is. But I think you guys

(06:25):
are really going to like the outfitthat I will be wearing. Oh also,
I love my Slam Aversary gear becauseI am with Matt and I got
to redbut and it was with Matt. It was just like a really special,
special moment. But the gear thatI'm going to wear for the first

(06:46):
ever Knockouts Ultimate X match at Hardto Kill in January is going to be
fucking legendary. I think, Ithink I love it. Anyway, I
could go on forever about gear,but that's my favorite of mine. Rockin'
with Dan shout out to Rockin' withDan. I have signed so many things

(07:06):
for Rockin' with Dan. He's awesome, But Rocking with Dan asked as someone
who travels for her job, whatis the worst travel day you've ever had
and the worst travel habits you have? Oh, you've seen from other people?
Okay, so one of the worsttravel days that I can remember.
And I wouldn't say the worst traveldays are like the longest because I've had

(07:27):
some long travel days. One time, a couple of years ago, I
flew all the way to Australia,which is like, you know, twenty
hours all the way to Australia forone show I was there, I think
thirty hours, and then I flewall the way back home. That was
crazy. But that wasn't the worsttravel day. That day. I also
had a bladder infection too, sothat made it even worse. Still,

(07:49):
not the worst travel day. Oneof the worst travel days I had was
when I was on the Indies beforeI got signed to WW and I had
been going from show to show toshow, and I think I had done
like Thursday, Friday, Saturday,and maybe even Sunday. I was on
that last day and I was justfucking like working on fumes. I was

(08:13):
chugging along and I was flying backfrom Charlotte, North Carolina to Orlando,
so like a quick flight, nothingcrazy. I don't know what happened.
This is the first and only timeI've ever done this, but I fucking
fell asleep at my gate and Ijust didn't wake up to get on.

(08:35):
The weird thing was is my memorytells me that I was staring at my
gate the whole time, and Inever I never saw anyone board, Like
I don't I was so tired.I may have fallen asleep with my eyes
closed. I don't even know,but I'll never forget. I woke up
and I went to the gate andI'm like, hey, when are we
boarding? How late is this flight? It doesn't stay delayed anywhere. And
then the flight attendant looked at melike I had three eyes and was like,

(09:00):
basically was like, bitch, weboarded and you missed your fucking flight
so by so I ended up.I was so late to board that flight
and they had taken off that Iended up having to actually run like sprint
to the next flight with all myshit exhausted, just woke up and almost

(09:22):
missed that flight too. So thatwas the worst travel day that I can
remember. And the worst travel habitsthat I've seen, honestly is just those
people that get up right when theplane lands, and right when you get
to the gate and the seat beltside comes off. Those people that get
up and try to deboard the planebefore everyone else ahead of them. That

(09:43):
is I can honestly speak for allwrestlers when I say that is our biggest
pet peeve. We all want toget off this fucking plane. I mean
us wrestlers, we take minimum oftwo flights a weekend minimum. So the
fact that your ass is trying toget off before us is so annoying that

(10:05):
I can't stand. That is actuallyworse than like disgusting coughing habits and people
picking their nose in front of you, like all that stuff. That's the
worst. One. Mcg asked,Oh, mcg asked, are you planning
on having kids? I mean thatis very personal. I'm very open,
so I can say yes, absolutelynot right now Matt and I are just

(10:28):
focusing on work and making money,but definitely once we're married. It's not
something that I how do I putthis, It's not something that I need
to prevent unless I sign a wrestlingcontract with a major company. Yeah,

(10:52):
I'm open to it. I'm definitelyopen to it either way. I'm sure
we will be having kids in thenext five years. Okay, Now,
I don't know how to say thisname, so I'm gonna just say it
how I think m human. Soyou guys are probably like, well,

(11:13):
yeah, that's the name, butno, it's felt funny. So I
didn't know. Am human asked wouldyou be open to being a manager and
not a wrestler if a company askedyou to be? Oh my god,
yeah, I feel like I look, I love wrestling, like I love
the physicality of it, but mypassion for wrestling is in the character work
and the speaking. So I haveGod throw me in there and I'll manage

(11:37):
Matt for the rest of my life. I do not mind. That would
be actually kind of ideal. Sothank you for asking that. I love
you guys. Your questions are alwaysso fun. Keep asking them. Remember
use a hashtake hot messages on Twitter. All right, guys, the time
has come. I'm handing over themicrophone and my sister is going to interview

(12:00):
me. So put your fucking seatbeltson. Strap up, baby, let's
go. Here is Tessa Victoria Green. Here we are. We have Tessa

(12:24):
motherfucking Green. Wow, that's sofun. That's up, guy. Are
you nervous, I'm nervous. I'mnervous too. Here. So yeah,
we were set up on the floor. We've got um, big dude in
our lap, We've got waffles besideus, and then um Walt's sleep on
the bed, so we're um already. Yeah, we're doing good. We're

(12:46):
already doing better than when I interviewedSantana. We were at an airport and
there was background announcedence all the time. And then when I was with Dianna,
it was my very first interview andit was extremely rushed and like scary,
so it lasted about seven minutes betterthan your drunk bachelorette interview. Yeah,

(13:07):
people actually didn't know I was asdrunk as I was on the thing.
Only a couple of people tweeted thatI was very drunk on that podcast,
So you should have They should haveseen you by the pool with your
big drink. Yeah, with mybowl. All right, Well, I'm
going to ask some questions here.So are you ready? Okay? Okay?

(13:28):
Well, I I've listened to afew of them, but I actually
don't know what you've talked about much. So have you spoken much about you?
That's okay? No? That yeah, that's okay. You can ask
and then I'll tell you because alot of the times I feel like I
repeat myself. Anyway to that.Okay. So first I'm gonna ask you
about you, Matt, and thenI want some wedding two okay, Um,

(13:48):
so tell us about when you guysmet. How'd you meet? Um?
Okay? So Santana set no way. Santana didn't set us up on
a date. Cody in Andy Rhodesset us up on a blind date.
Matt slid into my DMS. Yes, at like one in the morning,
and I have the DM for proof. I actually might try to find it

(14:11):
and post it. It's so goodand I love to embarrass him with it
every now and then by posting it. Um. But uh, Santana told
us to go to this restaurant.I think I told you this. The
terrible sushi restaurant beside publics Um andI then went and instead of being like,
oh, my friend suggested this restaurant, I was like, oh,

(14:31):
like, I heard that there's thisgreat restaurant, and I put it in
the GPS. Santana told me itwas walking distance. I put it in
the GPS, and I'm like,this is weird, Like this is literally
thirty seconds beside my apartment and theonly thing beside my apartment is fucking publics.
So I will know why you didit beside publics because why you want

(14:52):
a cake so I can get cakepopcorn after? Um? True? But
um, yeah. And though itwas just a terrible um sushi restaurant beside
publics that you would never go tofor a first date, you might go
there. Like I'm not saying youwouldn't go there. I'm just saying you
would never go there on a firstdate. So you suggested it. Um,

(15:15):
I thought he suggested it, andno, I did, And and
that was the problem. When wegot there, neither of us said anything
because I wasn't gonna be like,oh my god, this fucking place is
terrible, So we just never saidanything until we like dated for six months
and then he was like, remembering, you took so you took him to
sushi restaurant and you don't even likesushi. Yeah, that's like a point

(15:37):
of contemption in our relationship. Idon't need sushi, but like, at
this point, it's twenty twenty one, you could literally eat anything in a
sushi restaurant. Okay, So thisis what I want to know because I
try to slide into SLEB DMS you. Oh you're DM. Slide you know
what I am. I used tobe when I was single. I used

(15:58):
to be a liker. I wouldlike people's photos in hopes that then they
slide into mine. But that's becauseI'm verified, so it's easier for them
to see. Okay, that worksfor you, but it doesn't work for
me. So I've got to slideinto the DM. But listen. I
okay, but listen because this iswhat I want to know. It's sometimes

(16:18):
I slide in and then I'm like, oh shit, that was so silly.
I'm gonna delete noo aboard a board. Okay, so I delete,
but then I want that's the worst. Just so you know, to anybody
that's listening, never slide in andslide out. You can literally slide in
and stay and even if yes,because even if everybody has their notifications on,
I don't, but everyone else inthis world does, so they see

(16:41):
it and then they see that youwere a pussy. Okay, but but
first off, they probably hadn't seenit yet because they're probably blue check.
They saw that they saw the notification. You think, yes, okay,
So sometimes I slide in, slideout sometimes to stay in. But so
if I stay in, you stayin, but you still jump ship and

(17:03):
then you leave it and you're justlike, pray to God and then you
jump ship. Yeah. But thenI go to that city and I'm like,
hmm, what if I actually meetthem? Got to slide out,
Gotta slide out just in case.I go, just in case. I'm
at a restaurant and I'm like,oh, hey, there's the guy from
Southern Charm. I see him.I'm gonna go chat him up and maybe
he wants to date me. Butso then I'm like, see, I
disagree, I think you should.You should chat him up. And then

(17:25):
after a couple of wobbly pops,you say, hey, oh my god,
you know what I think that Idrunk messaged you and he looks at
it's like eight in the morning.I'm like, oh, yeah, it
was brunch. It was brunch.I drunk messaged you at brunch. Okay.
But sometimes what I wonder is whenI'm fake meeting these celebrities, which
I never do because I never actuallymeet them, do you think they can

(17:48):
actually go back and see the messagesbecause I was I was watching something the
other day and they're like, oh, yeah, like you DMed me back
in the day and now I cansee it now. But I never saw
it then, but I see itnow because now I we're following each each
other, they all pop up.Yeah, that's exactly what happens. So
hopefully none of these celebrities end upfollowing me because there's probably a lot of
weird messages. Hey just watched thatepisode of you with your ex. I

(18:14):
know she didn't want you, buthere I am. I'm Canadian. Yeah,
like I put eight Canadian likes,long walks on the beach with my
dog, Yeah, lots of hikes. Um. Yeah. I DMed Colton
the other day just to tell himhow great his show was stopped. I
love that. Wait really, yeah, I'm telling you, I really like
getting those nice messages. Yeah,well, I hope he sees it,
because then I saw him he wasposting other people's messages and I thought,

(18:37):
well, where was mine. Ididn't I didn't slide out. So you're
not a troll. Oh you're anice No. Oh, that's a good
boy. Um, you're that's yeah. Wow, okay, okay, it's
me. Yeah dude, Hey,get out of here, Get out boy.
This is the problem podcasting with animalsis we've got animals playing in the

(18:57):
background. So we're just gonna haveto deal with that. So good.
Um okay, So, do youhave any wedding tea you want to spell
for us while we're on here,because by the time you're listening to this,
no, still, we'll be waitingfor the wedding. Um. No,
I will say that. And Ihaven't really told um the Green with

(19:18):
MB listeners this, but um,a lot of people are bailing on my
wedding. Wait what So you're sayingthat you're not a celeb and people don't
want to come to the wedding.People don't want to come to the wedding.
Um. I think COVID is scaringpeople. I'm not scared, but

(19:41):
people are getting scared, so andyou know what I I they have a
right to be scared. But um, yeah, so that's the newest Uh,
that's the newest little bit of teais that. Um, we've got
a lot of people bailing on thewedding here, so wow. Yeah,
and a lot of my girlfriends fromw TOW are now not able to come,
which I'm sad that my girlfriend,which you know her Ziale right,

(20:04):
amazing love her, she can't come. Um Maurice can't come. But but
miss is coming because he is inthe wedding party. That's nice. Um,
t J and Natty can't come.So there's definitely some Um, Carl
Anderson can't come. There's some peoplewho you know because of like COVID New

(20:25):
Year's Eve babies uh ww having afucking pay per view the day after my
wedding. Yeah, um yeah,I know, well they probably do know.
I'm excited to meet the miss.Yeah, you'll like him. He's
a very nice guy. Um.That's really the only like tea because everything
else has been smooth sailing. SoI'm going to tell you guys a story.

(20:48):
Um, Chelsea was on the realityshow Tough Enough back in the day.
Yeah, terrible, great show,and my girlfriend and I Whitney would
watch the show. Oh my god, great story, and um, Chelsea
got voted out. I think itwas the Miss. Miss actually was the
one that he pulled the chegger kickedme off, such a jerk, So

(21:10):
Matt actually funny enough. Well wait, okay, I should say I should
preface this by saying, actually,not that it was all fake, but
the voting was all do you knowwhat I mean? Like they had predetermined
that I was going to not bevoted off, and then miss would make
me voted off anyway, So let'snot go to missus Twitter and start rolling

(21:32):
him for voting Chelsea off. Thestuffed up or you could actually everyone should
at the mic, the mic,the miss whatever he started rolling him because
Chelsea's never should have been voted offthat great, really great show. So
my friend was working at Cactus Clubat the time in Victoria, and weird
Matt and the Miss had a showon the island and they came in to

(21:57):
Cactus for dinner and my friend waslike, oh shit, wait, I've
seen that guy before. I've seenthat guy. He's on TV. He
voted my sister, my best friend'ssister off tough enough and he and he
was sitting at her table she was, he was serving him, and so
she goes up to him. She'slike, fuck this guy, I can't

(22:18):
believe. I can't believe he's inhere, Like, how dare he show
up in here? After voting heroff the show because we all thought it
was real, the really really greatshow. Yeah, and um yeah,
she yell did him? She?And then also, well, the funny
thing is is that yeah, andwe didn't even know Matt. That's the
crazy thing is that she met Matttechnically before I did, because she served
him that night. Yeah, Andit was weird because I remember that first

(22:42):
of all. That's a funny storyanyway, and I forgot about that.
But the best part is that,Um, I then told Matt the story
a couple years later, and hewas like I was there with him,
Charles, Like I was at Yeah, we didn't even know. Oh when
Whitney was yelling at him that thathe was there, Yes, he was

(23:06):
at Cactus bub Oh that's so good. Good story. Yeah, that was
hilarious. Well now we know more. Yeah, Okay, so who's the
crazy celebrity you've ever met? Um? That I want someone like real good.

(23:30):
Yeah that is so we know you'vebrought met like the Rock and obviously
wrestling people. Yeah, but that'sthe thing, like I don't want who's
the best celebt you've met? Okay, so you're at the PC and the
Rock, just like Bad Bunny,I met Bad Bunny. I wrestled beside

(23:52):
Bad Bunny, and Bad Bunny islike so huge right now, who's Bad
Bunny? You would know? Um, you would know him. He's a
Latino singer that just like broke intothem like the American charts, and you'd
know his song if I played itfor you, because I feel like if
someone were to ask and then theyfound out, like, oh my god,
you've met the Rock. Yeah,like in theory actually the Rock because

(24:15):
he wasn't he named like, youknow, fucking top guy in the whole
world like top guys and he wasvoted number one for who people wanted to
meet in the world. So thatdefinitely is the biggest. But to me,
it's not the biggest because that's justlike because you're just my friend's dad
too. Yeah. So anyway,okay, and then like John Cena also

(24:37):
so cool, right, but again, like that's one of Matt's friends,
so it's different. Well, I'dlike to go out for dinner with Matt's
friends too. Then the funny thingis that a lot of our Calgary friends
actually think the craziest person is missbecause yeah, because they were real world
fans and that's where Mike came from. What Wow, Well, I like

(24:59):
his show sometimes I throw it on. Basically, the biggest um seleb I've
ever met is myself myself. Ohwell that's cool. Um okay, So
back to DMS. So obviously I'mthe queen of dmag slebs. No one
gets back to me. Okay,you've never had anyone? Um no,

(25:25):
okay, cool? Cool? Yeah, but if you want to start now,
um, it's at Tessa B.Green so oh my god, you're
gonna um So, what's the weirdestDM I've had ever had? Um?
Okay, I don't get that sidesthe wrestling fans that are being creepy enough

(25:45):
yeah no. Um. The actualmost annoying one was there was a football
player that didn't stop and I neveractually responded to him because I didn't I
didn't actually like him from the getlike NFL Yeah, NFL player, he
seemed like a nice guy, butlike I wasn't interested. Um. And
he messaged me before I was withMatt, and then he messaged me at
the beginning of my relationship with Matt, but people didn't know that, and

(26:08):
um who it was? No,I I already did spell that it was
in Miami Dolphin once I think,okay, yeah it was no, Like
I just didn't need it. Iwasn't into it, um. Other than
that, Oh my god, youknow who just the other day whose pictures
I liked. So I was atacting class and we were talking about,

(26:30):
um, people who do commercials,and then the commercial turns into actually about
them. Do you know the ProgressiveLady Flow? So there's the Progressive Lady
Flow? And then there's Kevin fromAll State. Okay, Kevin, do
you know Kevin? And and thegirl puts ye keeps putting beef on him.
She's like, oh no, Kevin, you gave me such a good

(26:51):
deal. The girls him ranch likebro Like, um, I was creeping
Flow and Kevin liking their pictures.It during act in class because we were
talking about this, and Kevin messagedme and said, thanks for liking my
pictures. You're yeah, like youyou your profession looks so cool or something.
I didn't. I just ignored it, um, because I didn't have
anything to say about you know,to Kevin from from All State. But

(27:15):
I thought that was cool because that'slike Kevin and Flow their iconic What about
the guy from Subway that that wouldbe hilarious, Chared? Oh wait you
got canceled. First of all,he's I'm pretty sure he's in jail for
being a pedophile. Stop yes himand everyone else? Yeah? Mhmm crazy

(27:37):
Still waiting for for Floes DM.Okay, I have a wrestling question,
okay, um, okay, ifyou could wrestle anyone in the world,
would it be? I feel likeI know the answer, but I want
to know or maybe you already have. UM. I used to say I
would like it to be a triplethreat myself verse Um Natty verse Trish,

(28:00):
But I changed my mind. Officially, I've changed my mind. This is
the first time I've changed my mindin my wrestling career. Um. The
match needs to be a triple threatmyself verse Diana Prazo versus Britt Baker.
What yeah for the in the world? Absolutely literally anyone? Absolutely Wow.
I thought you were gonna say KellyKelly. Oh my god, I love

(28:22):
Kelly Kelly, and I just thinkshe should be my manager of Valet.
That's what should happen. Oh Iwanted to be the manager in Valet.
No, no, no, KellyKelly would be iconic. Wow, I'm
actually really surprised. Yeah, wellthat's wild, Like you don't even want
because it's a match, No,like it's a match that can actually happen,
but like we keep we're kind ofships passing in the night and we

(28:45):
have yet to of any matches togethersince the Indies. Wow, that's wild.
I definitely didn't think you're going tosay that. Yeah, it's a
moneymaker one. I think it couldbe a hardcore match, even what does
that mean? Just like weapons?Nothing crazy, but you know some tables,
some ladders, some chairs, somethumb tacks, some frazer blades too,

(29:07):
No, no, gross, gross, huh crazy? Yep? What's
your next question? I don't knowyou have some Well you're you're you getting
scared? Well, I kind offeel like I I kind of feel like
I asked all the questions you didn'twanted to ask. Yeah, because you

(29:30):
didn't spill as much tea that Ithought you would about the wedding, and
I was excited about the weddings tea. Um, yeah, I guess.
Like the thing with the wedding isthat it has not been strustful like everybody
said it was going to be everypeople like what colors, But there's not.
That's the thing. There's like notea to spill because it's New Year's
Eve. So it's like black butgive some deeds, like okay, it's

(29:52):
black works, like well there's butbut like I it's inside outside venue because
we want everyone to walk out andsee the fireworks for New Year's Eve.
It's going to basically be a weddingup until dinner is over and then it
turns into a New Year's Eve party. So we've got like some crazy shit.

(30:15):
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna spilltoo much beans because this is coming
out. Yeah, this is comingout right before the wedding. But basically
we've got all like the things thatyou would do in a nightclub, We've
got that happening, and um,I'm excited because once we get there,
we're gonna like put together the littlegift bags, which everybody knows people the
people come into the wedding are gettingthe limited edition micro brawlers, um,

(30:41):
which actually the tea is that wemay now put those on top of the
wedding cake. Oh wow, that'sthe classiest wedding top ri. I don't
want to but where it's that,or it is flowers and Matt doesn't want
flowers. Waffles is currently Waffles isliterally a packing Tessa while she's trying to
interview me, Tessa, Oh mygod, Nancy Grace over here is getting

(31:04):
attacked by these Holy shit, thegreatest interview of all time. Oh my
god, get out of here.Um. Yeah, So I don't have
that much teas build because it reallyhasn't been that crazy. I will say
this week, I'm feeling the pressureof the wedding, and so is Matt.

(31:25):
We have to book counseling today becausethere's been a lot of arguing.
Yeah, there's a lot of arguingbecause it's just like it's getting to that
point where we're seven days away.We have a bill of you know,
more than people's salary xx. Yeah, Like we have a big bill to
pay that they will not allow usto prepay, so we're gonna have to
fucking pay for that. Like twodays before our wedding, we are,

(31:49):
Um, it's busy. It's beenreally busy, you know what I mean.
So it's a lot of stress.But that's okay. Therapy is good
for people. Every own should shouldgo to therapy. So I'm saying a
speech at the wedding and it's beenreally stressful. I don't know if you
guys can relate to this public speaking. I think a lot of people have

(32:12):
a public speaking fear. I literallydon't I read just thinking about it.
It's a week. I'm literally gettinghives just thinking about it. I was
going to say a full speech aboutlike like do like a Chelsea roast and
tell all these stories about Chelsea sneakingout and and Chelsea where she would like
hide her like mini mickeys for people. Yeah, yeah, people don't know

(32:34):
what mickeys are here. Yeah,so in Canada we call little bottles of
vodka. What do they call themhere? A handle or something? Okay,
Well, Chelsea's to hide her handlesin her Teddy bears or they call
it by the ounces or something fourteenounce or some shit. I don't know
if it would probably be like athree ounce then oh are the two ounces?
Are the mini mini shots. Yeah, so I was gonna do a

(32:55):
roast and tell them all about that, and then I thought, you know
what, that's that's overdone. ReallyYeah, I'm gonna allude to it,
but then I'm gonna skirt over it. I'm gonna skirt. Yeah. I
don't, like, we need thiswedding to last, and I don't really
want Matt's parents thinking that you're somelike wild child. Okay, No,

(33:15):
Matt's parents think that Matt is thedevil and that I am the angel.
It's so great. Oh really yeah, well they obviously haven't met you.
Then I excuse me. I'll neverforget when um, when Matt's sister in
law the very first time I wasthere, looked at me and was like,
you are gonna need to be You'regonna need to be way more harsh

(33:35):
with him, or like you're gonnaneed to be way more stern with him.
Yeah, And I was like,like, you're very stern with her.
No, But it's because I wasbeing nice, because I was for
the first time I was gonna do. Yeah, what was I gonna do?
Be like be like, hey,bitch me some water because that's the
real life. Yeah, that's reallife shut the door to get me a
two. Yeah. Yeah, butI wasn't gonna do that in front of
the family for the first time.I will say that I got things have

(33:59):
changed. Yeah, I will sayI got mad at him um last Thanksgiving
in front of his family and Igave zero fox and you know what,
neither did they? Wow? Theyloved it. Wow. So they're coming
to the wedding. So what areyou guys doing for Christmas? I'm here

(34:20):
for Christmas today, Christmas tomorrow.I like, guys, I like,
I'm not This is me, TessaGreed. I'm Chelsea's big sister and I'm
not an interfere. No. Itwas good because you said it so casually,
as if you were gonna be herewith me for Christmas. But everyone

(34:42):
listening is not. So actually,in theory, what did you do?
Because we are now listening on aMonday, Monday morning? But right,
and uh, good morning guys.Yeah. So, um, we spent
Christmas at the one and only WaltDisney World, didn't didn't we test?

(35:05):
Oh yeah, I want to sayit was wild, but I hope it
will be wild. Yeah, it'sgonna be wild. Because we were recording
this UM on Christmas Eve, um, pretending that it is, you know,
Christmas Day for you guys. Uhso, um, we're what you're
doing tonight? Yeah, So tonightwhat we're doing for Christmas Eve is we
are putting our Christmas pj's on andour Christmas sweaters. We're going to Dianna.

(35:29):
Yeah, matching, that's a lotum we wanted. We tried to
get matching, but we couldn't.Target was sold out, Um except for
except for pj like like Jamie's nightgownsat Ebeneza Scrooge would wear. But Matt
said he wouldn't wear a night Soyeah, so we're going to Um,

(35:50):
we are going to Dianna Prazos andStephen Kuprick aka Cuddy aka Stephen Macklin.
We're going to their house and thenwe're gonna wake up in the morning.
We're gonna do some pressies and thenwe're gonna go to Disney and it's gonna
be absolutely great. And then honestly, after that, I want to skirt
right past Christmas into New Year's getmarried. Yeah, that's so sunny keeps

(36:14):
coming up? So soon do youwant to do the next week's episode about
the wedding? Oh, that's fun. Do you want to be on next
week? Wow? Do you guyswant to hear me again? Well?
Actually, you know what, that'sa great question. Why don't you guys
let us know what you liked hearingTessa if she has the most annoying shrill
voice ever? Yeah, honestly,I mean, besides the dogs attacking and

(36:35):
playing beside me, I've got acat attacking my hair, So I don't
know you let us know? Allright? Well, each week I will
be sending out eight by tens toa few listeners who tweet or DM me
showing me their five star reviews.So this week's winners are let's see how
badly I fuck this up? Thisweek a scarlet sunset at Jared Durheim and

(37:00):
at huss Far seven ninety nine.And I just wanted to send send a
little extra love to huss Far becausehuss Far sent me a gift card for
Christmas. So thank you, guysall for your reviews, but an extra
thank you to good old huss Farm. And for the rest of you guys,
don't forget to rate review and subscribeto catch me every single Monday,

(37:25):
bright and early. Okay, guys, that's it for today. Thank you
so much for tuning in. ThanksTess no Proud, thanks for having me.
Did you think we were wrapping itup? Did you know what was
happening? Um? Well, Iwasn't sure if I was going to be
saying by or not. Yeah,yeah, maybe I'll see you next week,
guys, Yeah, maybe maybe not. We'll see. Let us know
if you want to hear Tessa nextweek, and everybody have a happy and

(37:47):
safe Christmas. I was gonna sayNew Year's Eve, but no, um,
next week, I'm going to talkto you guys right before I get
married, So don't forget to headtoo. Only fans dot com slash Chelsea
a Green for exclusive content and behindthe scenes merchant footage. I's gonna say

(38:07):
merchandise, but footage and then Chelseaa Green dot sorry footage like feet that's
good, that's good, and Chelseaa Green Dotcartel dot com for limited edition
merch Make sure to check us outon Instagram and Twitter at Green WMV pod
and let us know what you wantto hear. You already know nothing is

(38:29):
off limit. I love you all, Thank you to the wrestling gods,
and bless this mess. Ye ohhealing a dirty dress, starting outing a

(38:50):
Sunday Best Chess. But she's okayesby the body there to get the stands,
but you're still in another. Damnme, the noother. Oh my
god, I'm so in love withit. I absolutely not this, absolutely

(39:14):
not, absolutely not. This isgonna last forever. I love so much.
Beaute quick,