The Ex Files

In this episode of Green with Envy, Chelsea discusses the memories you keep of your ex, ie. The Ex Files. She also confesses to a messy moment in bed. Finishing off the episode, Chelsea updates us on Only Fans, her 2022 calendar and gives us a quick pupdate.

Head to prowrestlingtees.com/chelseagreen for personalized video messages and tees.
Head to chelseaagreen.bigcartel.com for merchandise.
Head to onlyfans.com/chelseaagreen

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Episode Transcript

(00:30):
Hello, lovers, it is yourfavorite hot mess formerly known as Laurel Vaness,
Ray Clusa, Jada, and almostVictorious. My name is Chelsea motherfucking
Green and welcome to Green with Envy. We are officially two weeks out from

(00:51):
Halloween, and I hope you guysknow that once we're finished with this Halloween
countdown, I will absolutely be shiftingmy focus to Christmas and I'm not sorry
about it. I'm not. Ilove Christmas. My sister actually is coming
down to stay with Matt and Ifor Christmas, and she decided because she's

(01:12):
not going to be home for Christmas, she wanted to put her Christmas tree
up early so she can enjoy it. Very dramatic, but I love it.
I mean, she even bought herpuppy Christmas toys to play with,
and that's my kind of girl.I'm also so sad that last week I

(01:34):
forgot to wish all my fellow Canadiansare happy Thanksgiving, So I'm sorry you
guys Happy Thanksgiving. I hope youall had an amazing weekend full of lots
of you know, food and family. Oh. I miss Canada like crazy.
I can't wait to get back.Okay, today, I told you
we were going to be talking aboutthe X files, So let's get into

(01:57):
it. I have two versions ofX files that we're gonna kind of dive
into today. But first off,let's just explain what I'm even talking about.
When I say X files, Iliterally mean X, E X,
X X, best friend, youknow, X, partner, X lover,
ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband,wife, maybe even I don't know.

(02:24):
Whatever it is someone you had adeep connection with other than your family
members, someone that you no longerhave a relationship with. Now, when
I say files, it sounds likeI'm talking about some sort of CSI shit,
But that could be one of twothings, and that's what we're going
to talk about today, the twokinds of files. Keep in mind,

(02:47):
this is just my opinion. Imean, I'm right, but that's besides
the point. No, I'm kidding. Let's get into it. The X
files done dune. So when wetalk about the bag basic level of X
files, also, I sound likea scientist, I know when we talk
about the basic levels of X files, it's simple. It could be an

(03:10):
actual box or drawer or someplace whereyou keep the memories from your past,
specifically memories from these old relationships fromthe X literally a file. Maybe said
file includes like concert tickets or abracelet they gave you for Valentine's say,

(03:34):
whatever it is. Do you guyshave one? So I was trying to
think, because I definitely like tohold on to some special memories, not
necessarily from a relationship, but ifit was a monumental time in my life,
then I've kept it. You know, when you're like young, and
you keep absolutely every single thing thatthe person gave you that you're in a

(03:59):
relationship with, like you keep thenotes they passed in class and stuff like
that, and then when you orwhen they dramatically leave you for your classmate,
you burn everything and cry and singsad songs and shit, wait,
was that just me? No?Come on, fucking admit that. You
guys all did that too, right, the good old days, those were

(04:24):
definitely X files. Anyway, Ican proudly say to you guys that I
don't have an X file. Iguess it's because when I moved from Canada
to America, like I don't know, five years ago, I went through
and got rid of everything that didn'tserve me a purpose, and definitely,
like you know, I didn't needthese memories from the past relationships. They

(04:48):
were in that category they did notserve a purpose. So I tossed old
jewelry, birthday cards, festival tickets, all that stuff. All of it
is gone. Of course, Ido still have pictures. Actually, I
have like full computers of pictures.But I refuse to give those up.

(05:09):
So wait a second, are thosemy X files? Oh? My old
laptops and I photo accounts. Okay, so this is a breakthrough in my
case. I think I do haveX files, and I think my X
files aren't actual objects, but moreso photographic memories. Mm. But I

(05:30):
will never give up photos. Iwill, however, delete them off social
media because I think that's weird whensomeone knew that your wave can go through
your Instagram and literally see your entireentire dating career. Fuck that. Nope,
But yeah, I do keep thosephotos on my computer because some of

(05:53):
those memories are things I'll never getto do again, you know, like
traveling and things like that. Butyeah, I'm realizing I may not have
a literal X file, but Ido have an electronic X file. Okay.
Now, those of you who sayyou don't have an X file,

(06:15):
well guess what we all fucking do. Because listen up, unless you have
never been in a relationship, theX files can also be how do I
put it, like, not somuch physical but mental and emotional. Okay,
when someone opens up the X files, I'm using air quotes in my

(06:38):
opinion, they are finally letting youin on their previous relationships. They're dating
history. You know that point atthe beginning of your relationship where you're starting
to open up to that person aboutyour family and your past and you finally
divulge the dirt on your X boom. You just opened up the X files.

(07:01):
So we do all have an Xfile. It's just it's in our
hearts and in our heads. Imean, okay, look, I love
opening up the good old X file. I love learning about my partner and
finding out what makes them tick orwhat did and didn't work in their previous
relationships. Funny enough, though,my fiance is the opposite, the absolute

(07:29):
opposite. He wants to think thathe was my first boyfriend ever, like
I've never met a man before him. I just think that that's weird.
I find that I've learned so muchabout Matt through the relationships he had in
the past. When he finally startedopening up to me about his ex girl
friends a couple of months after westarted dating, I learned, you know,

(07:51):
some of his triggers, some stuffthat his exes had said or done
in the past that I knew Ihad to stay away from because there were
some sensitive subjects. And I'm finding, almost five years later, that in
our relationship, when we get inan argument, I can pull from those

(08:11):
past experiences that he's had and thathe's told me about, and kind of
have a better understanding for why maybehe's lashing out, why he's getting upset,
why he's getting mad, you know, stuff like that. I think
that opening the X file is healthyand it gives a little more insight into
your partner. Now, of course, there's a line. There is a

(08:37):
definite fucking line, and sometimes wecross that line. Back with my ex
boyfriend, I knew that I washaving verbal diarrhea about my past relationships and
the trauma I carried from it,but I just couldn't stop. I remember
him telling me multiple times that itseemed like I was still holding onto my

(09:00):
past, seemed like I was stillin love with an X. So look,
obviously, that's when you've crossed theline. You've opened up the X
file, and you can't fucking shutit. But I do think that,
you know, going on a date, ordering some wine, bringing up the
X files, it's healthy. Justbe conscious of how much you're you're sharing.

(09:22):
Sometimes it's best to just give littlelittle tidbits of information, maybe not
your whole past at once, ormaybe your partners like mine and they don't
want to hear it at all.In that case, well we're fucked because
Matt and I now have to workwith his X and we're we are in
a position where he really has nochoice but to be open and honest with

(09:45):
me about his past, which,like I said, I love. It
forces him to step outside of hiscomfort zone and you know, share some
stories with me so that I cankind of get a better feel for that
relationship, and also obviously so Ican comfortable with working with her. I
don't know, it's already fucking weirdbeing put in that position to work with

(10:05):
someone's X, but then to haveto do it in front of your partner
and with the entire world watching.I mean, that's dramatic. It's not
the entire world, but the wholewrestling world. I think opening up the
emotional, non physical X files isa plus in your relationship. Now the
actual literal X files, that's foryou to decide. But don't be surprised

(10:31):
if Nancy drew Ak your partner,finds it and questions you about it.
You better have a damn good reasonfor keeping that X file. T shirts.

(10:52):
Get your T shirts. I amofficially a free agent. You know
what that means. You need yourChee Green teas because you never know We're
all pop up next. Pro WrestlingTeas dot Com slash Chelsea Green has over
fifteen different designs to choose from,and we are always adding new merchandise.
Towels, mugs, hats, tshirts, you name it, We've got

(11:18):
it and bonus. I now havepersonalized video messages to order birthdays holidays.
Need a motivational pick me up?Order from Pro Wrestling Teas dot com slash
Chelsea Green again. Get your Tshirts or personalized video messages at Pro Wrestling

(11:39):
Teas dot com slash Chelsea Green,Happy Shopping, Hot Off the mess great
newspeople after Walt you know, eightAmazon packages, money books, masks,

(12:07):
oh Newest, Newest, newest thingeaten magnets. I finally made the decision
to buy a baby gate. That'sright. I now have a full baby
gate fenced thingy in my house formy dogs. It's embarrassing but also absolutely
necessary. And I am totally nowwondering why I didn't just invest in one

(12:31):
of these things from the beginning,Like, fuck it, Maybe I'll just
keep it until I have a realbaby. This ship is staying for a
while. Try me, walt,try me, okay. But also moving
on from the the doodle talk,don't say I never gave you anything,

(12:52):
guys, I have officially opened upmy Only Fans account. I'm so excited.
I told you guys last week thatit got approved, but I wasn't
sure when I was going to openit up. I decided, fuck it,
I'm gonna do it. We areopen for business, baby, and
I started out hot by posting acouple of sneak peeks form my calendar.

(13:13):
Oh and some videos from the beachshoot. So I'm really excited. If
you haven't subscribed yet, you canhead over to Only fans dot com slash
Chelsea A Green. There are nonudes, and people are shitting on me
on social media, but I'm sorry. I am a wrestler, not a
porn star. And you know,whoever wants to be naked, more power

(13:35):
to you. I'm not going tobe, so just a heads up.
You can subscribe to my only fans, but there will be no nudity.
I don't exactly know what I'm goingto post yet, which I keep telling
you guys, but I'm working onit. We're just gonna go along for
this ride together. My twenty twentytwo swimsuit calendar has officially been shot.

(13:58):
I'm so excited. We had sometough technical difficulties. Well, we had
some weather issues actually last week whenI was supposed to shoot the calendar,
so we had to postpone it,which obviously bumped me out. But then
this past week, I loved myselfup in tanner, I slapped that makeup
on, and I hit that nudebeach to shoot this year's looks. We've

(14:20):
got twelve looks. I was supposedto shoot thirteen, but I forgot one
of the bikinis. We did itin a day. We did it in
two hours. Actually, it washectic as hell, but it is so
amazing to see the finished product.So I'm just currently making up the calendar
now designing it all, and thenI will be putting those on sale once

(14:43):
I hit the order button, probablywithin the next week or so, so
keep your eyes peeled for those obviouslypre sales sold out, but this is
a regular sale. It's just goingto be five more dollars and limited quantities,
guys, so don't miss out.I hope you guys love them,

(15:05):
and don't forget. If you wantto see bonus footage, subscribe to my
only fans. The calendar will begoing up for sale on Big Cartel,
So happy shopping again. I hopeyou guys love it. I can't wait
to show you hot mess Confess.Okay, I wanted to do an entire

(15:39):
episode on period sex, and thenI thought maybe I'll just keep it to
a segment. So this embarrassing storyis brought to you by twenty year old
Chelsea and lots of alcohol and alacrosse game. Oh god, I'm blushing
already. So my girlfriend and Iwere in university at the time and our

(16:00):
friends were in town for their NLLgame in Calgary. So we went to
the NLL game, had a coupleof drinks, and then we all went
to the bar after and I waswearing like this cute little white shirt and
a cute little blue miniskirt. Idon't know, I'll never forget. So
we partied. Nothing out of theordinary happened, and I went home with

(16:26):
one of the guys, very niceguy, I might ad not your typical
dougie lacrosse player, So shut outto him. Now. Okay, look,
also, I know my fiance islistening to this, so Matt,
fast forward past this part because youdon't want to hear him. So we
get back to the hotel and we'restarting to okay, well you can fill

(16:49):
in the blanks. We're in bed, and he gets up really quickly and
he like kind of runs off tothe bathroom. Now we hadn't fully done
anything yet, just starting too Andwhen he comes back, oh god,
I'm having flashbacks at this moment,and I would say ninety percent of girls
know this feeling. He goes,I'm really sorry, but I think you

(17:15):
got your period. Okay, sothis was the first time for me.
It was not the last, butit was the first time I had never
got my period while I was witha guy. And this just isn't any
guy, you know, It's nota boyfriend. It's not a friend.

(17:38):
This is a random one night stand, possibly the worst time two period on
a man. When it's a man, I don't even know. Okay.
I was mortified, absolutely mortified.He went back into the bathroom, and
I'm not even joking you guys.I legit got up and I stripped that
bed so fucking fast. I stuffedthe sheets under the bed like twenty year

(18:03):
old me was in full panic mode. And then I asked, you know,
if I could quickly shower. SoI quickly showered and I got the
fuck out of there. I leftso fast that I didn't realize I had
left all of my jewelry in thebathroom. To be fair, he tried
to make me feel better by tellingme like he had sisters and it was

(18:26):
totally fine. But I wanted toget the hell out of there. So
I rushed out of there, andI forgot all my jewelry. I mean,
I was probably just an absolute messwhen I was leaving. And to
make matters worse, somehow I hadgot period blood all over me. So
I was taking the walk of shamewith the period blood evidence all over my

(18:52):
shirt and my skirt. Oh god, and Of course, after rushing out
of there and vowing to never eversee this and ever again, I ended
up having to text him the nextmorning because of all the jewelry I had
left. The jewelry was not justlike cheap, random jewelry. It was
special jewelry that my dad had gotme for a graduation present. So I

(19:12):
ended up having to deal with theperiod blood guy for months until he came
back into town. I will sayit was embarrassing then because it was the
first time. But now I'm thirtyand I don't really give a fuck,
Like, I'm sorry, but I'mon my period and if you want to

(19:34):
ride the river, you're gonna haveto deal with it. Oh that was
kind of gross. Sorry, butactually I don't care. Power to the
pussy. Okay, we have periods, so deal with it, young mess.

(20:00):
In twenty twelve, and Angry andHeartbroken, Chelsea wrote, only time
can heal your broken heart, justas only time can heal his broken arms
and legs. Oh nothing says lovelike a little broken arm and leg.
Oh my goodness, Chelsea. Hello, welcome to my favorite segment, Mean

(20:25):
Tweets from mean People. This week, I had a couple of very persistent
people sliding into my dms to leaveme somehow beautiful messages. Here we go,
middle finger emoji, followed by suckmy dick, bitch, followed by

(20:45):
slut, and then the next messagewas horror. Oh wait wait wait then
it keeps going gets wild, slut, slut, slut, slut, another
slut, dumbass slut like wow,hello, Oh okay, So this person
clearly doesn't like me, but alsomessaged me like six times in a row,

(21:07):
which we love for them. Welove the persistence. You know,
persistence pays off. I saw it, didn't I. Now let's move on
to some one hit wonders. Herewe go. Now this is regarding a
picture of my fiance and I.You're a couple of jobbers. Nobody gives
a fuck about. Ironically, thatwas sent to me by someone who follows

(21:33):
me. We love that. Thenext one was if it wasn't for Instagram,
you wouldn't still exist. I mean, honestly, I'm not denying that
that's not true. I feel likethat's actually very much the truth. Perception
is reality. So this person isnot wrong. If I didn't have Instagram,
people would think I didn't exist.Oh my gosh, I almost forgot

(22:00):
Yes. This week, I gotbombarded by some idiot in my emails named
Carmine, Carmine Baldino or something somethingcrazy like that. He was furious that
he was a week yes, Irepeat, a week late for the calendar
pre sale that he decided he was. This is how furious he was.

(22:22):
He decided to send me ten emails. I don't know if it was actually
ten, but it felt like ten. First telling me that my service sucks,
as if I am AT and Tor a fucking clothing company, my
service sucks, and then telling methat he was going to make sure none

(22:42):
of his friends bought a calendar orlisten to my podcast. That was his
threat, that he couldn't get acalendar, so he was going to make
sure nobody else could get a calendar. Which, look, if you're a
week late, I promise you yourfriends won't be able to buy a calendar
either. Like, no one's buyinga calendar a week later. My calendars

(23:03):
are limited quantity, what can Isay? So then he went on to
say in multiple emails that I shouldjust go eat some ketchup chips. He
said that as an insult too.It was super bizarre. He has not
stopped emailing me. They are allvery weird emails, but now they're kind
of becoming amusing. So I'll keepyou guys posted on these. I'm sure

(23:29):
he's not going to stop. Whywould he? You have reached the voicemail
box of hot messages. Don't forgetyou guys every single week to ask me
your burning questions using the hashtag hotmessages on Twitter. This week, I've
got a little bit of everything toanswer, So here we go. Andrew

(23:51):
asked, worst slash most hilarious Valentine'sDay You've ever had? Okay, so
I really don't have any crazy Valentine'sDay stories that I can think of off
the top of my head. I'msure once I finished this episode, I
will think of one and i'll tellyou it next week, But right now
I can't think of any. Iremember in fifth grade on Valentine's Day there

(24:12):
was like six different boys who allgave me the same beanie baby. That's
definitely not the story you want tohear. What else I think? Well,
actually I was going to tell youabout plug story, but I'm not
going to tell you that because thatwasn't a Valentine's Day story. That was
a birthday story, so stay tunefor the butt plug story. Okay,

(24:34):
Francis asked, and Andrew, I'msorry that was it. Totally didn't answer
your question and I really have nothingto say about that. Francis asked,
have you ever been starstruck when meetinga celeb or one of your peers in
wrestling. It's funny because I feellike I kind of answered a question like
this on a hot message before.I don't really get starstruck, but just

(24:57):
because once I'm in front of thatperson, I feel like it humanizes them.
I feel like they turn into atotally normal person. Was it crazy
to go to John Cena's house.Yes, definitely like that. That was
definitely a kind of a nerve rackingexperience. But then once I was in
front of him again, he's ahuman, Like she's just a guy.

(25:19):
And when The Rock came to thePerformance Center while I was training at WW
that was like really cool, andhe's you know, huge and jacked and
the Rock. But again, whenyou're talking to him and he's just a
normal person, it's not that notthat scary yet. I'm trying to think
if there's anyone who I can thinkof that would really make me star struck.

(25:45):
M maybe Jessica Alba, but thenwhen you hang out with her,
she'd probably be normal. Maybe KylieJenner. I love me a good Kardashian.
But again, they're probably really normalwhen you're just hanging out with them.
And I'm really not being I'm reallybeing vague in these hot messages.
Today Stuart asked, where is themost scenic natural place you've ever been to?

(26:08):
Or is there somewhere you know ofbut have yet to visit. Oh?
Boy, the islands off of Thailandwere amazing. So I went to
a place called Crabby Crabby Beach inThailand, and you can take a boat
and you can sail around the islands. They obviously took me on the boat.

(26:29):
I did not take myself on theboat. They took me on the
boat, and we sailed from islandto island, and we got a couple
of hours at each island and theywere untouched and they were they were like
the islands in the beach with LeonardoDiCaprio, just so natural and beautiful,
and the ocean was like a pitcher. It was amazing. I would go

(26:52):
back there a thousand more times.Also, I love pad tie and obviously
you cannot get better pad Thai thenin Thailand at the local markets made by
like a cute little old taie lady. Oh, it is the best.
If you ever need to trade aplace to travel, I highly recommend Thailand.
It's very cheap and it's unbelievably beautiful. Tommy asked, do you have

(27:18):
a favorite hockey, baseball, football, or basketball team? Okay, well,
Tommy, I'm Canadian, so wereally don't have football. Well,
we don't have football. We hardlyhave basketball. We have the Raptors and
that's it. We again, hardlyhave baseball. We just have the Blue
Jays. So really that leaves onlyone sport than matters in Canada, which

(27:41):
is hockey. Hello, and becauseI am from Vancouver, I am a
diehard Canucks fan. Now people docall me a bandwagon jumper, and I
will admit I have jumped on abandwagon or two, because when I lived
in Calgary, I did jump ontothe Flames bandwagon. I love good Flames
game. And they have this beercalled well it's just normal Budweiser, but

(28:06):
we call it dome foam because itis pumped all the way from the basement
of the arena up to the topfloor. So it said that there's like
more gas in the beer and soyou get drunker. I don't know,
I don't know if that's true,but I mean you do get really drunk
off one of those beers. Soshout out to the dome Foam at the
saddle Doome in Calgary. Oh.Francis asked another great question, how do

(28:33):
you plan what content to put intoyour calendar and do you have a favorite
pick from last year's calendar? SoI really do try to. I take
pride to my calendar, So Itry to plan the calendars as far in
advance as I can. I getmy hair done, my makeup done,
I get a tan, all thatkind of stuff. Usually I look through
Sports Illustrated, I look through Maxim, I look through Playboy, and I

(28:56):
find inspiration for the months. Sotwo years ago, the cover page was
inspired by Chrissy Teagan's shoot for SportsIllustrated where she wore lays around her neck
that covered her boobs. So Idid that for the cover shoot. But
really last year a lot of mylooks were pre planned again from inspiration and

(29:19):
then also Matt helped me with alot too, so that was really fun.
I do have to admit this yearwas I'm loving the final product.
But this year I was really nervous. I really didn't have that much inspiration.
I couldn't come up with themes forevery month. Like I was just
nervous that I was going to giveyou guys kind of a shitty product.

(29:40):
And then once I shot it,Oh my god, I'm obsessed, you
guys, I'm so obsessed. Andfrom the past three years this year included,
I honestly can't pick a favorite picturebecause there's so many ones that are
like unexpectedly great that I thought Iwould hate and then I realized, woe,

(30:03):
Like that is sexy, or that'sa unique pose, or that is
just not at all how I thoughtit was going to turn out. The
outfit this year that was a shockerto me was a white bikini and then
I put a little white seat throughtop overtop. That one was a shocker.
I you guys are gonna love it, and it might end up being
the cover shoot for this year.Haven't decided, but it might be the

(30:25):
cover for this year's calendar. We'llsee, we will see. I'll put
it on my only fans, andI'll most likely post one of the pictures
on Instagram for you to see whatthe cover looks like. But yeah,
good question. Francis Eddie asked,oh where did it go? Here?
We go? If you had toplan a date night in with the following

(30:48):
rules, what would you pick?One board game, two cook something you
have never cooked before, or threemovie you have never seen before? Okay,
well, I always we always watchmovies, and we always watch movies
we've never seen. So I thinkI'll go with number two, cook something
we've never cooked before, because Ido think there's like something sexy about putting

(31:12):
on some music, lighting some candles, drinking some wine, and cooking.
Do Matt and I do that?No? Never, But Eddie, you
just gave me a great idea.I really think that there's, yeah,
there's something sexy and fun about that, and then you can sit and eat
your masterpiece together. I like that. That was a good question, and

(31:36):
I think I'm gonna try that.This next question is from Wayne, who
has the best handle at Semi DryChicken. I love it so. Wayne
asked, would you rather be ona TV show that runs eight strong seasons
or a main star in a movietrilogy. Oh that's tough because at first

(31:57):
I was like, oh, definitely, you know a TV show that runs
eight strong seasons, because that's you'regetting paid for longer this and that.
But I think, and I couldbe wrong, I think being the main
star in a movie trilogy is probablymore money in a quicker amount of time,
and then it leaves you with otheropportunities to do other movies. I'm
really putting thought into this. I'mreally like, m what would I do

(32:21):
if I was Jennifer Anderston? Soyeah, I think I'm gonna go with
a main star in a movie trilogy. I don't know, all right,
you guys. That is it forHot Messages. Do not forget to ask
me your burning questions every week onTwitter using the hashtag hot Messages and Guys,

(32:44):
each week I send out eight bytends to a few listeners who tweet
our DMI showing me their five starreviews. So this week shout out to
Nick c oh five five, JoshWrestling, and Joe Gartner seven. Thank

(33:05):
you guys for your reviews. Ummake sure you shoot me at DM with
your full name and your address,and I'm going to send you a little
something, a little signed eight byten And for the rest of you,
do not forget to rate, review, subscribe and catch me every single Monday,
bright and early lovers. That isit for today. Thank you guys

(33:27):
so much for tuning in. Don'tforget to head to Pro Wrestling Tease dot
com slash Chelsea Green, Chelsea aGreen dot Big Cartel dot com and Only
Fans dot com slash Chelsea Green toget your merch your personalized video messages.
Whatever you need, We've got it, and make sure to check us out
on Instagram and Twitter at Green wnvpod and let us know what you want

(33:53):
to hear you already know nothing isoff limits. I love you all.
Thank you to the wrestling gods andbless this mess. Yeah. Fucking healing

(34:14):
her dirty dress, starting out inher Sunday best, fucking tears, hollow
to her chest, but she's okay, ysh. She shot spy, a
ramble, the body girl gets thestays in a world. But you're still
alive. Another dad mean another,Oh my god, I'm like so in

(34:37):
love with her. I absolutely knowthis absolutely not absolutely not. This is
gonna last forever. I lest somuch