What Is The Worst Underworld Movie? - Hack The Movies (#433)

I had Lena from The Beautiful Dead podcast on to talk about ALL the Underworld movies starring Kate Beckinsale. They got werewolves, vampires, and tight leather. We ask the big question in this episode: What is the WORST Underworld movie?
https://youtu.be/I1BtmS0TTkA
https://rumble.com/v71j3x6-what-is-the-worst-underworld-movie-hack-the-movies.html

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everyone, Tony from Hacker Movies here and today we're
gonna talk about all the Underworld movies and we're gonna
try and figure out which is the worst Underworld movie
today on Hack of Movies. Oh, don't mind me, I'm

(00:22):
just using my fume. It's a flavored air device that
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some of you fans might know Lauren on the show,
and there's something I never told you before. She just
vapes way too much all the time. Whenever we're out

(00:42):
at the bar or whatever, she's just blowing vape clouds,
just annoying everyone. Luckily, I introduced her to the fume recently.
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(01:05):
She said it was delicious and better than a vape.
Don't believe me. Let's play the clip.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Definitely better than a vape and it's delicious.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
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(02:22):
So if you've been thinking about changing your bad habits,
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screen to grab yours today. Thanks Fume. Hello Lena, how
are you?

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I'm not Lina. Oh, I'm Selene.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Your Selena.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I'm Selena death Dealer.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
I don't have a dumb name. I'm sorry, but I
have the big coat over leather body suit going on.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
For me, we look very scary.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
This multipurpose leather body suit, which I want to remind
our fans, is not Trisha's cats up. It's been years.
Stop making that joke whenever I wear this. H Yes, Underworld,
what a franchise? What a franchise. I had not seen

(03:14):
any of the sequels until we agreed to do that.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
There were five.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I memories came back to seeing a trailer four five.
But when I first looked up the thing, I'm like,
oh yeah, it was four of those. I'm like a
fifth one. I'm like, oh right. There was a pretty
late sequel. But yes, the Underworld franchise. The first one
was kind of a big hit in two thousand and three.
Kpe Beck and Sale was already on her way up.

(03:41):
But I think this like solidified her as a star,
and it gave us Director Lenn Wiseman made some things
I liked a lot of things I didn't. Okay, uh
was Underworld one of those things? Let's find out. But
he did do Diehard four, which I think is underrated.
I think out, Yeah, it's fine. But then he also

(04:02):
did Total Recall remake, which I still need to rewatch,
but I wasn't a fan of it. But yeah, this
was like huge when it came out. When did you
first see Underworld one.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
In the theaters? You went to the theater the theaters, yep,
I was twenty three. It was like a big time.
She was gorgeous. It was the two thousands. Was this
was like prime, This is what everything was in the
two thousands. It was like matrix meets vampires. And I
was there for it. I was very into it.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
I remember seeing the trailers thinking it looked cool. It
was definitely up my alley. I eventually caught it on
like DVD, okay, I rented it afterwards. I did not
see it in theaters, okay, and I watched it. I'm like,
let's see this cool new movie. And then the movie
was done and I went that was lame as hell.
That was so goddamn lame. But have I changed my mind?

(04:56):
Let's find out. Let me read the back of the box,
please do. This comes from again from director Len Wiseman
and writer Danny F McBride.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Not the same.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yes, this was before the actor Danny McBride like blew up.
And I think since then this Danny McBride has put
enough in his name to differentiate himself perfect In the underworld,
vampires are a clan of modern aristocratic sophisticates whose mortal

(05:28):
enemies are the Lichens Werewolves, a shrewd gang of street
thugs who prowl the cities underbelly. No one knows the
origin of their bitter blood feud. No they they do.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
They talk about it a lot.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
But the balance of power between them turns even bloodier
when a beautiful young vampire warrior and a newly turned
Lichen with a mysterious past fall in love.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
I so disagree with this description.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, one, they know the origin of the blood food.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Huge awesome street thugs. What do you mean, robbing old ladies? Yeah,
stealing cars?

Speaker 1 (06:11):
I mean, I guess they fight in the street in
the beginning.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
And also the newly turned Liken thing happens at the end.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah, in like the third act. And they're not really
in love in this one. That's more the next one.
What the heck?

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Who wrote this?

Speaker 1 (06:25):
So? Yes, Selene is a death dealer. She is who
hunts down the Lichens, and this is ah, this is
very interview with the vampire and shipped that the vampire
families and clans, So we realize her clan has three elders, Victor, Marius, Marcus, Marcus.

(06:48):
Yet well there is a Marius later on in the movies, Marcus, Victor,
and the woman Amelia. So Amelia's in charge, but every
hundred years I guess they switch off. Yeah, and Marcus
is next. But Selene has a strong connection to Victor
because he turned her after the werewolves killed her whole thing,

(07:09):
killed her whole family. So yeah, she's pursuing all these
were wolves that are looking for this man Michael Corvin
who was Scott Speedman. Yes, yeah, so they want him
for a specific reason, so she has to like figure
out what that reason is. But before we get into that, like,

(07:30):
but you said with the matrix and everything and vampires, Yes,
that's what I hate about this.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
I was just like, I've seen all of this better
in other movies. It was very derivative of what was
going on at the time. Yes, in other action and
sci fi.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Movies vampires, and that's where I was in.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, oh, oh, you want to see matrix stuff with vampires.
Have you seen Blade?

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
And Blade two. Yes, that was better. That was better
than this.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
It's different. So I will say personally, I love the
vampire werewolf rivalry. That's one of my favorite tropes. So
I like that they had the two pitting against each
other and the fact that it was like, these death
dealers are specifically trained to find and wipe out wear wolves.
And she even says like they're almost eradicated at this

(08:27):
point because we've been doing this four centuries. So we
find out the end she's a thousand years old. Yah,
the math isn't mathing, but okay, so she has been
She is like the best death dealer at what she does.
And so I love this idea of like I also
love the different covens, and I love the walk through
the Manor with all these rich, you know, vampires and

(08:49):
all that. I love that stuff. I'm here for it.
And I love the idea that at some point and
I wish they had tapped more into this, like how
did this decision happen? But at some point in time
they're like all three of us elders cannot be alive
at the same time. It's too much power, it's too
much fighting. So two are asleep at every time while
one rules, and then there's this special ritual that wakes

(09:11):
up the next one in line, and it has to
be done by the elder who's alive because they're the
only ones strong enough to do it. And I loved
the idea that when you drink blood you can see
their memories.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Do they introduce that in this one? Or they do? Okay,
they do this one.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
We do because when she wakes up Victor, she does it,
but she's not strong enough to do it, right, So
all of her thoughts and memories are very chaotic, right, right.
And so he's like, she said, I've shown you everything
you need to know, and he's like, no, you haven't,
because you're not old enough to do this. Yeah, I
can't understand what you're trying to show me. But then
of course it turns out it's because he is aware

(09:46):
of everything that's happening. And he's covered with the craven
speaking of the clan and the.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Like. They're dressed like Victorian vampires, and I'm like, they're
not making any effort to blend in with the modern world.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
I love it. I was just to have death dealers
in all leather. Yeah, And then the restaurant Victorian, I know.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
And like this was. I think this is another problem
with the movie. It was trying so hard to appeal
with the hot topic crowd at the time, which I'm
guessing work. I mean, which I guess worked. Yes, But
that was like your classic goths before I turned into Emo.
This is definitely the transition between goth to Emo. And
I see this movie like both sides really enjoyed this movie.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
It brought us together.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, so I thought it just again, when something's trying
too hard to be, like multiple other things, it just
fails for me. That's what this movie does.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Well, So go ahead.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
The vampire weaknesses one of my many pumpkinheads.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
That you set up just for me because I came
back from.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Oh that's right. Yeah, even though we're early in November,
I put all the Halloween decorations back up for me
because I felt bad you weren't here for any of
the Halloweens.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
I ignore the fact that we posted this happening actually
in Octogy.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, ignore that we're definitely not filming this in October,
and I definitely didn't forget to take everything down.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Well, what the weaknesses go?

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, so the vampire weaknesses. They will change from a
movie to movie. You can just put them down if you.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Want, right, So, as somebody whose whole podcast is about the.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Rules, yes, I kept going, wait, so wait, So in
this movie they basically say just sunlight or I think,
I think them biting each other. The virus kills each other.
So like a vampire biting a werewolf will kill it.
Werewolf biting a vampire will kill it.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
The humans too, because when the like and bites Michael,
she goes, you're lucky. Most humans are dead within an
hour because our viruses are deadly to humans. But that's
how we learn that he's one of the special ones.
So I wanted to bring this up to but how.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Do they make new werewolves? But no, because they were
biting each other and that's how you turn them to
a werewolf.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Greater movies. But in the first movie she said, it
kills most humans. But then they just ignored that rule.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah. Maybe, well they talk about in later movies. They
talk about how like the werewolves have changed a little bit, maybe.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
This modern lower Lichens and the higher Lichens.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Maybe this modern strain. Not everyone can survive. But we
also learned that they can give birth. To were wolves,
so maybe they're just naturally reproducing.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yes again, I know I say this every time you
and I talk. They never expected you and I on
YouTube and rip this all apart.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
So the way they die based on this movie Sunlight, huh.
And then a bite from a werewolf will probably kill
you if you get mulled by a werewolf, right right,
And I guess beheading is the only way. So they're
fine with silver and everything, the.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Cool weapons, the UV bullets and all that stuff. I
love that.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yes, So the werewolves weakness is in this movie they say,
is I guess again, a bite from a vampire will
kill you. Silver is the big one, and they talk
about how werewolves can regenerate, but if you pump him
enough with silver, they won't be able to regenerate fast enough.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
And so then the death Dealer arms guy, the guy
who develops all their weapons, takes the UV bullets and
modifies it to have liquid silver, so when the bullet
explodes inside, the werewolf all gets to pull it back out.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Because we see some of them die, they have to
load you full of silver. But then like the bigger guy,
he has like the blades at him and they them out.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
Raised by the way, and we talked about this. That guy,
looking the way he does and sounding the way he does,
had no choice but to go into entertainment. Is so
impressive and he's probably like a really nice I'm.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Glad they brought him back for the prequel. Later on,
we ram pushed death dealers through them. So that's how
you kill a werewolf in this movie. We'll talk about
other ways to kill them in later film.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
You have to make sure we talk about is Lucien
is a big pollution?

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Is Michael Sheen? Michael Sheen, who I talked about recently
when we did Tron Legacy.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
It is so hard to believe that's Michael Sheen because
you see him in this, then you see him be
Arrow in Twilight. Can you see him be Asriel or whoever?
In bad Omens? You're like, that's the same after. That's
crazy to me.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Michael Sheen is in one of the most depressing movies
they ever watched, Beautiful Boy.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Oh, I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Not from twenty eighteen. I think it's from twenty eleven. Oh,
it's it's a bummer. It's a bummer of a fucking movie.
Don't watch Beautiful Boy. From twenty ten. Let's you want
to be really second.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
This is why I do comedy and horror. So Lucian
is the first of his kind, which is the first
higher lichen that doesn't have to be in wolf.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
So originally they would you would turn into a wolf,
and you would stay in that form, and you can
only do it when the moon was out. But then
these newer likings, they were able to change on command.
They're not limited to the movie.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
And we find out he's the og one of that
and he was born so not bitten born. Yeah, and
so that's a big part of all of this. And
the other thing I wanted to mention is the original
there's one man that sired two sons, one wolf, one bat.
So this is the origination of the species. Are about

(15:18):
to flip.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
So here we go, here we go. Yeah, so they
mentioned that we get there's a lot of lore. That's
actually my problem with this movie. Okay, when it's not
generic matrix style action, which, by the way, I remember
even in twenty thirteen, they her fucking guns. I'm sorry,
she shoots a million rounds out of her gun, out

(15:40):
of her hand guns, they have unlimited air and then
they always cut to her putting more clips in. But
when you see her outfit, you're like, where are the
clips from? At least like she's doing. They're ripping off
the Angelina Jolie tomb raider where she puts her hands,
but at least a tomb raider. She's wearing a backpack,
and we see this little contraption come down with more clips.
Selene doesn't have that.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
She just yeah, and as somebody who's currently wearing a
corset and leather pants, I don't know where these clips
are going. This.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
By the way, again, early two thousands, leather was in
Bring it Back, and we joked about it in the
when we did Daredevil. The ben affleck Daredevil like you
would always hear Daredevil coming, because you would just hear
are we alone? No, that guy up there who thinks
we can't see him is crinkling like.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
I'm talking about So you were talking about the lore?

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, oh yeah, So the origin of both werewolves and
vampires comes from Corvenus.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
One guy, which this is what I wanted to mention. Okay,
you know what that's a nod to, right, No, The
king of Hungary, Matthias Corvinus, was friends with lad Seppish
and was the one to capture him.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
Got You Got You Okay? So there's a little bit
of that in that.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
So Castle Corvin, which is Michael's last name, is where
Vlad Seppish was captured.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Got You Got You Okay? Were more blad chepists. Watch
our Welcome Dracula Untold review on your channel. So there
was a plague or whatever that was going on, and
he was naturally immune to it, and something in his
blood made him like a mortal, not a vampire or werewolf.
He was just a mortal and.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
This genetic component all yes.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
But this is my problem with all the movies. They
never really explain this one part. He goes his one
son was bitten by a wolf and the other son
was bitten by a bat, and that's how you got
werels of vampires. But me, I'm just like, why did
the bat and were wolf or and the wolf turned
them into those monsters? They never explained the bad part that.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
They could have had a whole movie about this. It
probably would have been very interesting.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Because it's all up until the fifth one, this is
pretty much sci fi And I'm like, okay, so what
was in the bat and in the wolf that turned
them into.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
The gain they did not expect you and I to
sit down.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Then Okay, and then because I'm just like, why do
the were wolves get to turn into cool wolves but
the vampires don't get to turn into bats? The next movie,
next movie helps that a little bit. Now for me,
vampire I there's just so much cooler when they get
to turn into bats. And what I mean bat I
mean like batmanster.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Not I Yes, ram service racular Batman.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yes, not Batman, Not Batman Man, Batman the villain, that Batman.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
We're making it sound really now the werewolves.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
One thing I've always liked about this movie is the
look of the were wolves. Yes, but they're kind of
filmed like garbage. They never really give you like the effect.
The practical makeup effects look great. Yes, the suits look awesome.
I love the transformations in this Yes, this is probably
my favorite digital werewolf transformation.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
I mentioned on my Werewolf episode because I'm like, it's
one of those ones where I'm just like, he has
its flaws.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, but dude, that first transformation because it's like it's
a physical man and then it cuts to the physical
animate like suit animatronic and they digitally like transition it
but it actually it's kind of any other movie would
be a cheesey effect, but you see it like it's
almost like stop motion atturny, but like the sound effects
help it where you just hear all the bones are

(19:14):
shattering and replacing. So it's like, yes, and they look
so cool in this one, and they do too many
of the digital were wolves a little bit, like when
they're jumping on the train.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
At one point, really start to rely on that.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, well I'll complain about that. But the wearlves look awesome,
but we don't really get any good like shots of
them too much, which was a let down for me.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
They are so focused on the action sequences that they
really drop the ball on.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
Okay, so the action sequences are too generic for me,
and then the rest of the movie is just assholes
talking dressed like assholes. Uh.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
This is the big plot point for this movie, which
is Lucian wants to find the direct Deci of Corvenus,
which is Michael Corbyn, because he has something in his
blood that is special and because of that he can
become a hybrid. So by the end of the first
movie he is werewolf and vampire and that is like

(20:14):
never been seen before in this world.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
It almost was one. So what we learn here is
Craven right, who was left in charge of the particular
house that Selene's in by Victor. There's a revelation that
Victor is who's Bill ni or Bill n Love him.
He's good. Even if I don't really like this, he's good.
Love him. It's revealed that he isn't as nice as

(20:39):
he said he was. It's revealed that he killed Selene's
family blamed.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
It on the way Victor did not crave.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Victor did, but Craven has been covering for him.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Craven pretended to kill Lucian, yes, and actually is alliance.
So he's like, I won't kill you if you guys
just stay underground. Give me a piece of your skin
that I can take to the vampire yes and tell
them I killed Lucian. And that's how he's now in
charge of Victor's covet.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
So he's kind of in on this plan. He's making
it on Selene. Ba. Yes, you wants Selena as his bride.
He wants to like take over everything, so he's helping
Lucian out. So yeah, Victor, uh, when it's revealed he's
a bad guy and killed Selene's family. We realize he
took Selene because his daughter was Lucian's lover and they

(21:28):
were about to have a baby that would have been
the first hybrid, and he burned her alive.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
And killed his own daughter.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
His own daughter, which depending on which version of the
movie you're watching, is sometimes Ronometra. So I was shocked
by that because I know, I know Ronametra. She's in
the third one. I knew that she was in that movie.
And when I was watching, I wasn't even watching the
unrated version, okay, which I don't know if there's any
difference in the un I hear it's longer, but I
don't know what the changes are. But I was watching

(21:57):
just basic vanilla Underworld on because actually I used to
have but you know what, I used to own this DVD.
So again, I never liked this movie. And at trivia
twenty thirteen, some star Trek trivia, I won something and
they're like, you get a random DVD and I pulled
it out and it was Underworld. I'm like, you gotta

(22:18):
be fucking kidding me. I gave it away at a convention.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
I have the full box set.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
So I learned that some point after Underworld three they
went back and added Rnemetra to the flashbacksuse I'm like,
I don't remember her being the first one. That's actually
pretty cool that they planned it out and I looked
it up, it's like, nope, the original actress was replaced,
which is mean to that actress.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
So that's the version.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
I saw, was the ronometer time around.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
I saw the one where they put her in.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Now I know, it's funny. Reminds me and I have
a video on this channel about this, a very old
video reminds me of frankeastanzo on Seinfeld. Oh, because he
was originally played by John Randolph, which is Clark Griswold's dad,
I mean Christmas Vacation, but they ended up not liking
him for the part, so they replaced him with Jerry Stiller.
They actually, for syndication, they went back and they got

(23:08):
rid of all John Randolph scenes and replaced them with
Jerry Stiller. So when you have the DVD, you get
two versions of that episode. Uh So it was so
whenever I see them do that, I'm like, oh, they
frank A Stanza.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
There your ability to bring everything back around to Siginfeld.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
It's a problem. It's a problem. So this is all Actually,
the lure is interesting, but it's been being delivered just so,
like bluntly and uninterestingly, and then the action is just
just generic bullshit.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
So the thing is is when you write out the story,
you're like, they had something there, Yeah, and they should
have explorted it.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
The way the story is being presented just doesn't work
for me. The visual side, I like the steel blue
look like though, yes, but like the leather outfits in
two thousand and three, I was starting to get tired
of it. Even the Matrix movies weren't doing it at
that point. They only really did the leather stuff for
the first one, and they switched to that weird I
don't know Asian Ghee that he had. So the action's lame.

(24:14):
It builds up to this final battle, yes, because again,
so they like at some point I think Michael's take
or yeah, Michael's taken by them. Yes, so they could
put the werewolf's the vampire stuff in him to make
him both and no, no.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
They put the werewolf stuff in him and make him
a lichen. Yeah, and then he's on the edge of death.
And she bites.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Him, and she bites him. Okay, save him. And now,
as a kid watching this, yes, it was like, Okay,
they mentioned the vampires are from bats and werewolves. We're
gonna get a bat were wolf. It's gonna look so cool. Yeah,
but before we get that, we have everything like Craven
turns on Lucian pumps them full of the silver night
Trade and he's trying to like fight it off. Selene

(24:53):
gets all the stuff revealed to her. Everyone's backstabbing each other.
Victor comes in with his team. The other elder is
just muled to death by murdered.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah, all the lichens.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
And also, by the way, when Victor first comes down
and I'll let that dried skeleton that was because they're
just pumping blood into regenerate them. Cool, and he's kicking
all kinds of ass and we get like these big
fight scenes that for me were a letdown because like,
I guess the werewolves look cool, but I guess they
aren't the most practical when it comes to fighting. Maybe

(25:25):
that's why they went so digital in the next one,
because it's probably an actor who can't see very well
going like this. Yeah, the silver whip guy Oh yes.
I was like, that's gonna be awesome, and I had like.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Razors on it. It was like barbed wire.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yeah, I thought that fight was gonna be so fucking cool.
We get to it. He just kind of whips the
wolf a couple of times and goes eh eh, and
then it gets stuck in a rock and he gets
killed off screen. I just wanted to see that silver
whip guy, and oh, come on.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
In the final battle when Selene kills Victor, it's like
it was so unsatisfied.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Okay, so Michael starts to change. I'm like, what is
this bat where wolf gonna look like? And then he
changes and it's just the blue guy with big nails,
and I went, oh, fuck off.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
It almost looked like the male version of what's her
name from X Men.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Mistique.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yes, he looked like the male version of Mystique.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
I will say the later movies gave him more wolf
like features, but this one. You wait the whole movie
to see what this fucking hybrid looks like, and it
looks like dog shit.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
The problem is the writing like really led up to
something that could have been yeah, and then the effects.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Weren't there, So yeah, you're right, Selene ends up cutting
Victors had.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Sleeps with a floor and lands.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
And then they do the anime thing where it slides on,
which again Equilibrium had done before this. Luckily, luckily no
one saw Equilibrium and theater. It became a cult hit afterwards.
But I yeah, I think it was a tyres some
actor and that he gets his face cut and he
turns and he says something and his face falls off. Yeah,
and they were kind of doing that and it's I'm
sure it's been done in animes too. Oh yeah. Yeah,

(27:14):
So that was like a super big let down there.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
So then Selene and Michael go.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
On the run, and the reason they found out all
this information is because they captured the Liken scientists. Yes,
and they killed him, and the movie ends with all
the blood of him going into Marcus's tomb.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Which that's a trope I love vampires, is the blood
dripping onto the coffee or onto the whatever. And so
Selene he.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Did that in Batman Versus Dragula the Penguin.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
How much I love that. We saw it in so
many things. But so we end with Selene and Michael
are on the run, Victor is dead, Cravens still alive,
Lucian is dead, and now Marcus is going to be awakened.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yes, and I'm sure that was an exciting cliffhanger for
a lot of people, but me, I went, this movie sucks.
I'm not watching the sequels. I thought I had seen
the second one at some point, but Rebot, I had
not seen it till now. I'm looking at him like,
I don't even remotely remember any of the stuff. Maybe
I just saw the trailer.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
So you and I were texting the whole time because
I was like, I I would. I turned on the
second one, and I turned on the third one. I'm like, okay,
I've seen these. Come back to me. Then I turned
on the fourth one. I was like, definitely, I knew.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
For sure I didn't see anything after the second one.
But no, I was watching the second one. I'm like,
I probably just remember the trailer, the big bat thing.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
So I will say I hated that we lost Bill
Knight and Michael Sheen because they were both so fucking
don't worry.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
They find ways to bring Why.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
I mentioned it. I mentioned it Bill Nye. I would
watch him talk about paint, Yeah, so entertaining, and they called.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Him paints was very dry and.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
This color was brown and colors.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
I love him.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
And they called him on the set the rock star Vampire, yeah,
which I was like, he's so likable, you're not supposed
to like him.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Really, But here that lady vampire gets scared by Michael.
She jumps up on the ship.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Oh yeah, so I want to talk about her.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
So in this movie she was named I don't remember,
but she loved Craven. Yeah, and Craven wanted Selene. And listen,
anyone who's female attracted, don't walk up to a woman,
grab her by the arm and say you will be
my queen. Not gonna go well, yes, especially when they're
armed as a warrior.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Also, also, all girls are thoughts, they're not queens. Uh
did you ever see that video? No, it's like two
nerdy dudes with like lightsabers.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Oh our queens.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
If she breathes, she's a thought.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Listen, anytime I bring up you like anything like this,
I know you're gonna have a comment. But so so,
the Blonde wants Craven.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
The Blonde, by the way, would end up being in
a show called Moonlight. Okay, also a vampire film okay o,
Vampire TV show also in the two thousands. Okay, but
the scene where she is over Michael and Michael opens
his eyes and she flies up to the ceiling the
bear's fang. Apparently it's the most popular scene in all
of the franchise, really, and they mentioned the fact that

(30:28):
everyone has the same fangs for whatever reason, hers look
bigger in her I don't know if she's a small person. Yeah,
but they but that shot is very like memorable, by the.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Way, do we I'm just thinking of all the movies, now,
does she ever come back? We know she doesn't come back,
but I'm thinking of like when we talk about their outfit,
so like I feel like Selene is just always wearing
that outfit except for the one sex scene. Yeah uh,
and then the last movie she switches up her outfit
and her look. But I'm like, she's just always in
that leather body suit with the trench coat she never wears. Well,

(31:00):
I just hering else.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
I just picture her behind the scenes, like sitting in
the laundry room while stuffed tumbles and she's totally naked.
Because nothing else.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
We should mention. She used to date Michael Sheen. They
never married. They had a kid.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Together, but they have a kid together, and then she
met Len Wiseman.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yes, and she convinced Lens Wiseman to cast Michael Sheen
because they were still it was like amicable, like they
were totally.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
They're still very kind together.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, so she got them the part in the movie,
and then she ended up marrying Lenn Wiseman, who I
think was involved with another lady at that time. So, Kate,
you're a home wrecker. Uh yeah, So what did you
think of Underworld overall? I don't like it rewatching it
now that I don't have the initial disappointment, it's just

(31:46):
bland for me. How do you feel about it?

Speaker 2 (31:47):
So opposite? When I first saw it, I thought it
was like the coolest thing ever. Again, I was twenty
three years old. It was the time hot topic, blah
blah blah. Right, I thought it was so cool. I
loved it. Now, when we decided to do this and
I went back and rewatched it, I went, Huh.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
That happens sometimes when you go back and rewatch the movie,
you really like you're like, oh, that didn't hold up.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
The story was there, And so it feels to me
this this movie felt like the whole franchise really felt
like you're talking to somebody and they're promising things and
that the chemistry is there and everything's great, and then
you go out and you're just like, oh, yeah, it's
not there. That's what it felt like. It felt like

(32:31):
a promise of something great and they just fumbled it
and nothing. I think the actress did amazing.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
We say they fumbled it. It made a shit ton
of money, became a franchise, so I guess they technically
didn't fumble it. It just didn't work for us critically.
None of these movies are now. It didn't really work critically,
none of them really did super well. Oh yeah, good enough.
But yeah, so, like I said, they turned into a franchise.
I tapped out until now, but then a you're welcome,

(33:01):
thank you, thank you so much. It's I will say,
at least, this is a franchise. I didn't care about.
This isn't like when we did the big Terminator episode. Yes,
And I purposely avoided the sixth movie for like three years,
and then I finally had to watch it and I
hated it.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
That's how I was with the interview with the Vampire Show.
I was so afraid to watch it and I think
it was the first season was like four episodes in
before I finally was like, I need to watch it,
and thank goodness.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
But this is what just we're doing this for you guys,
because it has been asked so many times for us
to do this, and I said this to you last night.
I'm just so glad we can check this off. We
did it, much like Subspecies.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
You're also going to go a little deeper in these
on your channel.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Yes, that's right, So on my channel starting the last
weekend of November all the way through December, Merry Christmas,
Happy Hanukkah, whatever, I will do every single movie in depth.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah, all of that. Yeah, look much like you did
for a Subspecies. If go back watch our Subspecies episode,
but we covered all the movies and then she went
a little bread.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
I had way more fun with Subspecies.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Oh, by the way, check ling this channel. Apparently there
were two kind of fake sequels to Subspecies that we
didn't know about, and oh my god, they're awful. They're
so bad.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
You guys ever question our commitment to doing this. We
watched those last two and I can never unsee them.
And then because I did them on my channel. I
had to watch them again to screen record them and edit.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yep, yep, they're bad.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
I feel like a mode compensation, That's all I'm saying.
All Right, the second.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
One, now we're at Underworld Evolution. Can you please read
the summary?

Speaker 2 (34:48):
The saga continues as the battle rages on between the
aristocratic death dealers vampires and the barbaric lichens Wear Wolves.
The film traces the beginnings of an ancient feud between
the two tribes as the beautiful vampire heroine Celine Kate Beckhensale,
discovers that she has been betrayed by her own kind

(35:08):
and must seek revenge. This fast paced, modern day tale
of deadly action, ruthless intrigue, and forbidden love takes her
into the Battle to End All Wars as the immortals
must finally face their retribution.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
Yes this one, Len Wiseman and Danny Mbride are back
as the director and screenwriter. We open up like you
said you were sad that they killed Victor, but it
opens up with the flashback of Victor and Marcus.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Marcus who we get to see now.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Who is hunting his brother William, who was the first werewolf.
And this is back when the lichens could only be
in wolf form.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yeah, so he's a lower lichen.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
So when we say lower lichen, we mean you're only
in werewolf form all the time. Yes, And then the
higher lichens are the ones that can show.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah, they will come later, but they look they don't
have Like Underworld's lichens were very unique, these older ones.
They just look like the ones from Bad Moon, which
I like that look. But I'm like, oh, that was
like one of the good things you had. You had
a very unique look that worked. It was one of
the few things I work and now we're just going
with a more traditional werewolf image. Here. My problem with

(36:17):
these werewolves, well, they're very CGI. Okay. I think I
brought this up on Patreon when we did the Wolfman remake.
That like extended heel that animals have. Oh yes, that
works for an animal that's on all fours or if
it's like a dinosaur that's hunched over. When you put

(36:38):
it on, like something that stands upright, they look weird
as hell. And I don't like when werewolf stuff gives
them those big feet. If they're standing up right, I'm like,
they look all right. And when they're in CGI form,
they all look like they have clown shoes on. It
was bothering me the whole bait, like they'll fall like
their feet are so big and monkey. I don't like
this look at all. Yeah, I don't know why people

(36:59):
keep doing it. I'm like, it doesn't that biologically that's
meant for like two body types, and it just looks weird.
So anyway, the were wolves were freaking me out in
the beginning. I didn't like them too much, but this
is when we learned that, like, I guess maybe they're
using silver weapons, but a lot of times they're just
like ripping werewolves heads off or just cutting them and

(37:19):
they I'm like, well that wasn't silver. Are they able
to regenerate then? I don't know. And freaking monster squad
they blew up the were wolf and he went all
back together.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
I didn't think about that. Yeah, I would think if
you behead something.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Okay, well that game heads. I don't know if you
know this, Lena, if you have a strong enough regular gun,
it could blow a fucking head off. I don't they
don't really need the silver bullets. They just need a
higher caliber round and then you you're good. They're wasting
all this money in silver. I'm like, well, you gots
have to destroy.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
The heads, especially at that time, Like, how do you
get a hold of silver back and whatever.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, I'm just like, well, if you just got to
kill the head, it'll take longer, but whatever, It's just
so stupid. I'm like, it's silver or nothing, come on.
Yeah s. Yeah, they're hunting the werewolves.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Specifically hunting William, and William has wiped out a village
and as they're trying to find William, all of the
villagers start to rise and shift and star turny yes,
and capture William.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
And we learn about the theme of this movie is family.
The Corvenus the Covernus people really don't like to kill family,
except maybe Mark. Well, no, he doesn't kill him anyway.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Victor is the only one that kills a family. Yes,
his family.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yes. Marcus like really just wants to protect Williams.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
So Marcus goes into an agreement with Victor. Yeah, that
he will serve Victor even though he's the elder to Victor. Yes,
because William has been captured and is being locked alive
in like a casket and he's not.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Allowed to know where, Yes, and which by the way
if he's not allowed to know where, I'd be like,
hey kill He's good. We checked in on him.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
So he says to Marcus, if you defy me, then
you're sentencing your brother to death. Yes, and this is
the backstory.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
We get yes, Okay. Then we flash forward. Selene and
Michael are still on the run. She talks about like
he needs to feed on blood, which I didn't think
he would have to since he's more liking leaning.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
I think the whole point is that he's supposed to
be half and half.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Okay, so I guess he could just because he does
try to.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
We assume him try and eat, Yeah, and it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
So maybe you can only eat raw meat covered in blood.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, But we don't get to that point. We don't
get we.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Don't get to experiment. Well, that's her. Selene's whole thing
is like, we don't know, like what your limits are.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
Yeah, we have no idea.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
It's been a high. There's never been a high.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
That they find a safe house and she says, just
stay here. He has one instruction, just stay here.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
He's like, I gotta eat.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
I'm gonna wonder out.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
So well, it turns out that idea was stupid because
we have a new hybrid. So it turns out all
that werewolf blood that poured into Marcus's tomb has mutated
him into a hybrid. But he's more bat leaning. So
when I remember what, yeah, because like apparently you can

(40:25):
be a hybrid, but you'll lean what it's like. It's
the difference between a liger and a tie gun, which
are hybrids.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
These are the things I learned when I come on
your channel.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
There are there are hybrids, but sometimes one is more
dominant than the other.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
I actually love the fact that you're paying so much
attention to the werewolves because the things that you're mentioning
I did not clock in on because I was paying
attention to the vampires, so I didn't notice the bipedal thing.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
I didn't know, so I noticed it in so many
it just looks. You can't give him that like extra
heel or whatever if they stand up right, it's just looks.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
You know. The point of that is I just read this.
You know the dew claw on our animal. Yeah, the
do claw is so that when you stop and turn
and grabs the ground so that you can.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
I was like, so, yeah, he ingested a bunch of
lichen blood and it mutated him into a hybrid. But
again that's his origin is bad.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Wait can we go back? That should not have happened
because he's not a Corvenus.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
No, Marcus is.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Marcus is a Corvenus.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, that's why Corvenus won't kill him in this movie
because it's his son.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
So he's the wolf son.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
No, No, Marcus is the bat.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
So Marcus is Oh he's the first vampire. Yes, okay,
all right, yeah, all right, okay, I have forgotten all
of this.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
So I guess Marcus had just never fed on wolf
blood ever.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
So Marcus was the bat bitten. Yes, William was the
wolf bitten.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yes, so William's not a hybrid. But like, I guess
because Michael had the liking stuff in him first. The
wolf part was the dominat g first, and since uh,
Marcus had the bat stuff, he became more bat like.
I didn't know that that was like he was a hybrid.
When I saw the trailer, I'm like, oh, I guess
since he's the oldest, he looks like a batman. But yeah,

(42:10):
I love when he breaks out, he Craven gets his
uh fucking come up in He just.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Murders goes to the manner in a panic. He knows
he's fucked. Yeah, there's one elder left, and so he
raises up Marcus's tomb and it's been broken out.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yeah, Marcus is already out. He woke up and figured
out how to get out. Yes, and he comes in.
I like that when his bat wings are like together,
they're like tentacles that need to stab. Yes.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
His I thought his creature designed.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Oh he looks. He looked great. I love that look.
And he's in it for a lot of the movie
because I was like, I know he did have a
human form. I was expecting him to turn into a
human form right.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Away and played Marcus, do you remember.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
I don't remember. I don't have it.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
He did a really good job.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
See Marcus ingests when he ingested the blood of the werewolf,
he got all his memories, and then he ingests all
the blood from Craven and learns about his betrayal and everything.
So he's completely up to date on what's going on.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Right. Tony Kern, who has he was in Blade. He
was in Blade too. He was one of the.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
The Blade boys. That's how we got her name for
the show and.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
He was in this incredible vampire movie if you've never
seen it, called Eight Locals, and it's they it's like
six elders that all come together from different vampire clans
to have just like a nice meeting. They do this
every once in a while and it's just a little
cottage in the middle of England. But they're attacked and
they have to fight. It's so so so sorry to.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
Take that out. Yeah. So, yeah, he wants to hunt
down Selene because he's learned that Selene probably knows the
location of William, even if it's not, it's in her blood.
Why does she Because we learned that Victor hired her
dad to build the prison for William.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yes, and then that I've murdered the family, so no, one.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Years later he came back to murder the family.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
And at that point he knew that Selene would forget
but the memory would lie in her blood.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Yes, And he did it because she looks so much
like his daughter.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
That's the thing. If he would have killed her, would
have been totally fine. But he killed his daughter and
one of their place. He seems too hard. He seems
too hard. So yeah, so she's trying to keep uh,
what's his face? Michael safe and what were called? Uh,
Marcus is on their tail. I do like when they
have the big fight on the truck. That was cool. Yes,

(44:37):
Michael still looks lame, but not as bad as he
used to look.

Speaker 2 (44:41):
The most important in two Yeah, they have sex.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
They do, and her eyes changed colors.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
I knew where this was headed as soon as we
saw that scene, and I was like, don't do it. Yep,
don't do it, but we'll get to it.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
We'll get to that. But uh, yeah, so they have
sex that her eyes change colors. And I recently on
Logan's channel video Hill Entertainment, I did Innocent Blind and
in the sex scene in that movie, her eyes are changing.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
Going, well, we know is when vampires orgasm, their eyes change.
By the way, if you're with a vampire and their
eyes didn't change, they faked it.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
By the way. When they have that big fight on
the truck, which was a cool scene, I thought that
was awesome. When they get to the sun comes up
and she starts to like burn up, so he throws
the thing over her. But then they get into a
garage and he's just throwing paint onto all the windows,
like that's gonna take forever.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Just put the cover over her.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
And get her in a closet.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
I know.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
He like, he throws the paint all over there and
then goes to the bathroom, Like, no, just keep her
covered and bring her into the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Supposed to show how much he cares about it.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
Yeah, Instead, I'm like, you're wasting a lot of time
with this.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
And thank god they had open black paint cans everywhere. Yesodness,
thank goodness it was black paint Day.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
So yeah, they this is when they actually start to
fall in love and have sex and everything. And I
like that what's called Marcus just hide hides in a
hole and yep, cuddles up with his.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Wings upside down with his wings.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Yes, so yeah, I like that. He's really adjusting to
be in a highbrid He's like, I guess it's just
some shit I do. Now I'm a bad.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
You're two thousand years old.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
So Selene realizes that uh, a guy that she exiled
for heresy turned out to be right.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
She's like, well, he's the vampire historians the story.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
It's a job. Yeah, And she's like, well, turns out
I hope that guy in apology.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
What is he doing in exile he's having yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh, then they go to it. I forgot. They went
to a lab at one point and they found Achense, yeah,
dead in werewolf form, and they're like, I thought they
were hert back. They're like, they must have mutated it
to keep it in this form.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Because they were basically experimenting on lichens.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
And then while this is happening, there's an old guy
with very white hair who was in the Gladiator movies. Yes,
I'm blanking.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
On him, has like a swat force.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Yes, we don't know who he is right away.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Well, I figured it out pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Everyone figured it out pretty quick. But they're like covering
up like all the vampire tracks and everything after every attack.
They come in and they like blow up.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
This is another trope I love when the vampires have
a clean up squad.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yes, yes, well it's not even the vampires. He's just
doing it. We learned why. But she has to go
to the historian's house to get information on like the
ambulance actually have you.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Topless hot course of course.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
And he has vampire bodyguards, yes, and that he keeps
like in.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
A well and he has lichens changed.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
I'm sorry, sorry, like bodyguard he has like it says
like but where the dogs or something like that attack
dog and their lichens lichens and we find out it
was a gift from Lucian to protect him.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
And I guess because Lucian knew he was telling the truth, and.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
I guess they're lower lichens, their lower li likes. They
never but this is I think this is the first
time where I think Michael rips the head off and
I'm like, oh, that could just kill them. Yeah, this
one is a lot bloodier. Oh yeah, the action's better,
the blood's better.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
I feel like they sat in the writing room and
they're like, we need more action, more blood and some
boobs we.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Have in the first one won't go topless.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Unfortunately, was already in place at that point. Yep.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Uh. Yeah. They get the information on where to find
find they have to find No, they have to find
the key to find the key.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
That's the one thing we forgot in the first one.
Lucian has a pendant and we see in the flashbacks
that originally it was Victor's daughter's pendant. Yeah, and the
pendant is part of like a key system that will
get them into Williams's final resting place. Okay, so they
have they have the pendant, Michael does and in the

(48:54):
fight on the truck, Marcus tries to steal the pennant
from him because he kept saying why does he want this?
Why does he want yes, and so she remembers as
her memories start to come to that it's part of
this system. Yes, and so inside of Victor's actual skeleton
was the other piece.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Yeah. So these we see the old guy come in
and rip him open, rip him open.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Take the piece out, and then she has the pendant.
And you need those two things to come together to
get to william.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yes, and once very rader and once yeah it is
very These actually work almost better as tomb raider movies
than the actual tomb raider movies. Yeah. Yeah, it is
the first two raider. He's got to get the scion.
You gotta piece it together. So, yes, they go to
find the old man and again, uh, Marcus is on
their tail. He's he's ingested enough horse.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
Blood that now he is human again.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
He can now like switch into human form and you
can go back and forth.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Yeah, and that's why when he came on screen, I
was like I know that guy because he's been another
vampire stuff.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Yeah, So they meet the old guy, who they learn
is the original Corvenus, who is a mortal, but he
doesn't well they say that he could have killed so
I assume he has powers. Maybe he's shrunk like a
vampire and stuff. But I don't think he needs to
take blood because they just said he was human.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
He's just a guy.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yeah, but they because Marcus comes in. She's like, you
could have killed him. He's like, I can't kill my
own son. So he technically could have but didn't.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
So he's been cleaning up after his sons, yes, for centuries,
but he won't kill them because they're his sons.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
And I'm like, I don't know. One's like a wolf
that's never gonna change back. Whatever your son was, he's
not in there anymore. You can just off him. And
your other son's a big back guy, so at least
like give him a spanking or something and tell.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Him to stop, give him a time out, you know.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Yeah. But while they're having this conversation, like Marcus shows
up and just starts killing everyone. Yeah, he like mortally
wounds Michael, and then he's able to drink Selene's blood
and gets all the information, the memories, and then he
even like killed, he tried. He like mortally wounds his

(51:09):
dad and his dad ends up just like killing his dad.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
Blows up the ship to cover the final evidence of
his son's crime.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yet again, Yes, yes, but now they know where to go,
I think, and they have like the pieces.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Think, Michael's in a body bag.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
Michael's in a body bag, and who are the I
guess is that just Corvenus's crew that helps them Hot.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Team or whatever. H takes them on a helicopter.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Yeah, to the location. It's now underwater, Yes, this place
that she grew up in.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Michael's in a body bag in the chopper because she's like,
don't leave him here.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Yeah, and she just assumes that he's dead. But again,
we don't really know how these hybrids technically work exactly,
so they're just putting him on hold. Yes, but I
like when they're like, here's an oxygen mask, She's like,
I'm a fucking vampire. Just jumps down and.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
The rest of the guys have scuba gir on.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Yeah. Yeah, William has woken up and he's good to go.
He doesn't have atrophy or anything. He's not even I
was weird that he wasn't dehydrated also because he's just
been in a coma.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
For But it also just shows that the lichens are
so much stronger than the vampires. Yes, because we see
how the vampires rise, they need a whole bunch of
TLC when they come to you.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
But William, who's been literally in a sarcophagus in a
mountain wall. Yeah, for we're assuming millennia.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
He's just stored all that energy.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
He's good to go.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
He just stored all the energy in the reserve belve.
But yeah, he comes out. I do like the stuff
with William, like track it felt like aliens or something
to being killed in the swat team. But then they
start to mutate into where lots of fun action here.
I like that Marcus ends up getting like trapped and
like for a lot of this fight scene, it's like

(52:55):
them doing all these cool moves.

Speaker 5 (52:56):
And this is Marcus being like aheah. And then Michael
comes to Michael, we see like inside his bones like
breaking and everything and everything.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
His heart starts rushing again, so he is alive. Yes,
he will live for many years. But yeah, he comes
in to help fight against William while Selene fights Marcus.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yes, and then the chopper falls down into this this
catacomb that.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
He compedely plays chopper, Yes, right at the bridge. Luckily
that guy died with his foot on the.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Pedal, so that blades are going and Marcus and Selene
are fighting backing towards Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
Yeah, which I thought was a really tense scene. Yeah.
William is strong, but not stronger than Michael, who again
just rips his fucking head off, just rips it right off.
Marcus is upset by this, yes, because he did all
this for William. Yes, and then he gets kicked into
a fan and gets.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Shatt he does you don't come back from that?

Speaker 1 (53:57):
I guess you don't. But whoa. He set up that
if he were to die, all the vampires would die.
That was a lie. That was just a lie he
told to cover his as. Yeah. Now have you ever
seen the movie? It's not a great movie. But what
planted are you from? Do you ever see that comedy?

Speaker 2 (54:16):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
It's about aliens coming to earth because like they need
like women, they need to like procreate, So an alien
comes to earth it's just for the purpose to knock
a broad up. But the leader of the aliens is
Ben Kingsley, like John Goodman's in this movie. I forget
the main actor who's in it. Ben Kingsley is like
the leader of the aliens, and at the end he's
like John Goodman pulls a gun on him and he's like,

(54:39):
you fool, I have regentitive stuff and blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah, and then they just shoot him
and the alien goes like I always thought he was
bullshitting about that. So it turns out Marcus is like, yeah,
and if I die, you all die. Isn't that crazy?
It's crazy. That's also from interview in the Anne Rice
novels the Older Vampires, when Nakasha goes to get a

(55:01):
sun tan, it causes all the other vampires to like
burn up. Yes, uh so yeah if she dies, they
were all going to die, Like the older ones can
resist it. So yeah, so yeah, it turns out he
lied about that, Yes, just totally lied about it. But
she ingested his blood, yes.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
So now she can be.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
We learned that she can be in the daylight. Yes,
Now did he always have the ability to be in
the daylight? Or is the liking blood that gave him that.
I don't know, because wouldn't you just be in the
daylight all the time? Why did he.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
If all your friends are nocturnal, then you're just going
to be Not that's.

Speaker 1 (55:37):
True, but we see him sleeping earlier. I don't think
maybe he didn't know that he could be in the
daylight because again, being a hybrid was new.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
To well, we knew Corvenus could, so maybe that comes
from Corvenus.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
Yeah, but I think when he now that he's part
liking likings can be out in the daylight, I think
maybe that's just something he didn't test yet and it
just conveniently. She's like, I guess I could just be
in the daylight.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
Now, so she can be in the daylight.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Yes, yes, uh so that's a fun little cliffhanger. I'm
gonna be honest. I really like this one. It still
has some of the cheesiness that I didn't like for
the first one, but the action was a lot better.
It flowed a lot faster. They it's still exposition action scene,
but it's woven a little bit better. Yeah. I actually

(56:18):
didn't mind this one too much. The werewolf stuff was cool,
it was bloody, it was the action packed. We had
kind of shooken off the matrix kind of stuff at
this point.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
I think with the first one, they had so many
ideas and they probably didn't know they were going to
do another one. Yeah, so they tried to shove so
much more down your throat that it was overwhelming. But
then the other problem is you've established so much in
your first movie that as you write the next four,
you either have to stick to everything that you have established, yeah,

(56:50):
or you just throw it out the window, which is
what they decide to do.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Yeah, that's the thing this one. Watching it, this like
watching for the first time, like that actually gets me
excited for the next chapter. Yes, what did they end
up doing?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Prequel?

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Prequel? But before we get into that, any last thoughts
on Underworld Evolution.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
The one gripe I had. I loved the backstories. I
love flashbacks, and that's the nice thing about vampire stuff
is you get to do flashbacks. Yeah. I loved it.
I freaking hated the sex scene because I knew where
it was headed and it's one of my least favorite
bullshit tropes at Empires. And we will talk about it,
but as soon as it happened, I was like, stop it. Yeah,
are you really going to stop to have sex in

(57:28):
the middle of a garage when you're being chased. You've
just turned into a hybrid. Like I knew where it
was headed.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
Just again, if I didn't just watching this in Blood,
I would have had more criticisms. But in Innocent Blood,
I'm like this sex scene. I'm like, very good sex scene.
Not the time for this.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
But that's what she used. In Innocent Blood, she used sensuality.
I don't think she knew how to turn it off. Selvien.
It was never established ever that Seleene gave me shit
about sex. Yeah, except now all of a sudden, come on, we.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
Had to set up there.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
I knew where it was headed.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
So they end up doing a prequel instead. That says.
It's written by Dirk Blackman, Danny McBride, and Howard McCain.
This time it was directed by Patrick Tatopoulos, who is
a He's like a production designer, creature designer. He's like
a big design guy. He's worked on a bunch of
big movies. Do you want to know what his most

(58:21):
controversial movie was, I'll give you a hint. A character
in the movie is named after him.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
What's his name again?

Speaker 1 (58:28):
His name is Patrick Totopoulos, Patrick to Topless. I'll give
you another hint in front of me as a giant
cabinet full of the movie's merchandise. Godzilla nineteen ninety eight. Oh,
he designed the nineteen ninety eight American Godzilla, which Godzilla
fans absolutely hate. Now they like it. It's not a pat design.

(58:50):
It just doesn't look like Godzilla. Yeah, but Matthew Brodrick
in that movie, they called him Nico Totopoulos and they
made jokes about him over he was named after. But
he did like Independence Day. He's worked on so many
big movies. Yes, and I guess he's directed a couple times.
I didn't know that, yeah, until I looked up the
thing I'm like going Patrick Douglas. I guess he took
a hand at directing. I have to go back and

(59:13):
see if he was a designer on the other two movies.
I assume he was.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
So.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Yeah, they decided to do a prequel to tell the
story of like when the Likings became the way they.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Were, the origin of the war, origin.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Of the war, which I feel like they already explained
pretty well for us, and we didn't really.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
We were told that Victor murdered his daughter because she
was in love with Lucian, a Lichen. Yeah, and that
she carried a baby in her womb that would would
be a hybrid. And we also have been told that
the Lichens used to be the vampire slaves. So all
this we knew.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Yeah, but this movie will give us more revelations. Let
me read the thing here. The prequel story traces the
origins of the century censories old blood feud between the
aristocratic vampires known as death Dealers and their one time slaves,

(01:00:14):
the Likings Lichens Likings the Lichens. In the Dark Ages,
a young Lichen named Lucian Michael Sheen emerges as a
powerful leader who rallies the werewolves to rise up against
Victor Bill Knight, the cruel vampire king who has enslaved them.
Lucian is joined by his secret lover Sonya Rhonometra, in

(01:00:40):
this battle against the Death Dealer army and his struggle
for Lichen freedom. So this is when it's revealed they're
keeping the Lichens as prisoners and one of them gets
birth to a baby like a regular human looking baby.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Which that's never explained, it's.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Just an evolution, I guess. So they kill the mother
right away obviously. Uh, and Victor thinks would be fun
to train him. Yeah, So this is uh, it's you
know what, it's a little bit of the Moses story
where the baby wound up with the Egyptians and they
raised as one of their own, and then it came
back to free. It's it's literally the story of Moses.
Just if Moses is a were wolf and the Jews

(01:01:21):
were also were wolves and the Egyptians were vampires, that's
this story. All we were missing was Lucian parting an ocean.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
I mean you were taught that in Catholic school.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
Right, yes, yes, yes, Also it's the Moses story. I think,
like most people have come across the Moses story at
some point, we didn't have any Michael Sheen shirtless with
stone tablets in this I wish we do have him
on a mountain though. So having said the movies, he

(01:01:51):
was a ridiculous shape. So yeah, it's all about like, uh,
you know, they used him, they separated him from the
other Lichens.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
And in this world there's lower Lichens that are like
out in the forest. Yes, continually slaughtering vampires and then
they the vampires are brought human slaves that they have
bitten by the lower Lichens to turn turn them in
higher lichens.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Yes, yes, yeah, I think Loucian is the one that
like bites them too. And then I guess whateverchen he
bites can then bite people and turn, and I assume
out in the world other Lichens are giving birth.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Because at once, at one point in time, they literally
like take all these humans out of the dungeon, have
bitten by one by one, and then return.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
To the Now here's the thing. They're not allowed They
need permission to turn into their liken form, so they
all collars. They wear collars with silver blades. So if
they were to turn a like and it was just
like kale and kill them. That's how they keep them
in line. And the other vampires don't like Victor doing this. Yes,
they're like, we're not a fit of using all these
wears idea.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Yeah, so we get we get Loucian back, we get
Victor back, yep, we get the historian.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
Back, yes, the story is in this one, and we
get Ronomitra, who everyone thinks look like Kate Beckham sale
I remember when Oh, what was it? What was that
movie she was in? God damn it. It was like
a post apocalyptic movie. One second, one second Doomsday. It

(01:03:22):
was a post apocalyptic Oh, she's in the new red Sonia.
Oh okay, she was in Doomsday. And I remember all
the trailers I remember watching and be like that can't
be can sale Like, Oh, it's that girl who.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Looks like The point is that he saved her because
she looks much.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
So as someone I remember when this was coming out.
I wasn't up to date on the lore. I wasn't
watching them. I thought she just I thought it was
a prequel with Selene, and she just replaced Selene because
she looked exactly like her. I didn't know it was
because of that. So when I was watching, like, oh,
it's a whole different character. Okay, she's fine in this.

(01:04:00):
She's kind of there. Uh So, Yeah, Michael Sheen is
the standout for this, and we do get Bill Moore
Bill Knight, which I love.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
The two of them are phenomenal in these movies.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
But I mean the story is again just kind of generic.
We've seen it before. A little Romeo and Juliet, a
little Moses, a little Gladiator. It's a little bit of everything.
But what those movies don't have are a comical slow
motion sex scene on the side of the cliff. Oh yeah,
he's hanging off and he's like, yeah, I was like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
What am I watching? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
But yeah, we learned that he feels guilty killing all
the other werewolves. Yes, and uh yeah, you know he
ends up falling in love with the daughter.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
So it's again, it's really not much to say because
it is by the numbers. I do like when he
tries to free all the lichens, the vampires shoot a
bunch of big arrows into water and they all get
trapped and they're like, ah, He's like, I'll come back
for you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Yeah, yeah, I do. I mean the premise of this
is very like historical romance, you know, like they plan
to run away, but before they can, her father finds out.
So he breaks free because the historian gives him the
key for the collar. Yeah, so he's able to break free.

(01:05:17):
He takes whoever he can with him. They go into
the forest and make camp. Meanwhile, all of his friends, yeah,
go grab lichens from other villages and they're all going
to come together in.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
It's time and he learns that other Lichens will bow
to him, yeah, or subservient because the lower level Vikings
attack like a vampire caravan.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
They won't attack him.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
Yeah, they won't attack him. And when he turns that's
why he gets thrown in jail because they finally figured
out how to break his collar. But when he turns
into the werewolf for him, they all obey him. They
consider him like an alpha I guess the king. Yeah.
So he realizes this is something that he can use.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
So he goes into this like cave. Yeah, that's full
of lower Lichens. Yes, that was a good scene. Yeah,
and then they just turned to him and then realizes
I have this entire army.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
Yeah, that he can then control now and it's funny
because we've now brushed off the Matrix influence. Yes, this
is now post Lord of the Rings and historicals that
like Rome was playing around this time, I think, And
which funny Brutus from Rome shows up in the last one.

(01:06:34):
And we're about to enter the Game of Thrones era.
It hasn't come yet, yeah, but things are out at
this time, like Spartacus and stuff. We're approaching that era.
So sword and Sorcery that we're still kind of in
is now the new big thing, and this prequel leans
into it, and the next two movies will also lean
into it a bit.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
And wasn't it a little bit reminiscent of Dracula Untold
when he goes into the cavern?

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
And well, not reminiscent before Dracula un Told.

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
It had that same feel to it, yea, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
Which honestly it reminded me of that begins when Bruce
Wayne finds like all the bats just circle him. But yeah,
there's a lot of sword fighting and everything. Uh, swords,
lots of swords. At one point, Victor gets a sword
to the mouth. Yeah, and in my mind, I'm like, well,
that's kind of severing your head and then he's totally fine.
He brushes it off.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
It's like, you could take a sword to your cheek
right now and be fine.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
I couldn't get through the back of my head through
the back of your head. But it's just like, why
didn't that kill him? But then if he had just
cut his head off, would that have killed him? I
don't know, I don't know. Yeah, So there's plenty of
big battles, but it was hard for me. Again, this
movie's fine, but it was hard for me to be
invested because I just kind of knew where everything was going.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
We knew the story.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
Yeah, and honestly, other than Lucian being the first and
the seeing how the slaves uprise like what New did.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Right, So we get to see the whole scene of
Lucian having to watch his love die.

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
Which feels like a little bit like interview at the
Vampire where they put him in the well.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
Right, but he's chained there watching it happen. That's the
sick part. Yeah, And so remember he at one point
he's like, don't look, don't just look at me, just
look at me, and just look at me. I actually
tear it up a little bit. I'm like, that's a
really fucked up thing to do to your own daughter,
who is pregnant by the way.

Speaker 1 (01:08:33):
But he's like the abomination, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
Look at me, look at me, look at me. And
he's like, I love you, and she said I love
you and then she dies. Like that's horrible, horrible. So
we do get to see that scene, and now we
know the vampires were the start of this entire war.
It was never the Lichens. They were never I mean,
it's evolved to bad people on both sides. But the
other thing we get to see is.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
I mean the lower Lichens, you kind of can't really
blame them because they were like brainless monsters kind of yes,
but like when they when they finally evolved to a
more sophisticated thing.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
The vampire us Raise gets turned, gets bring him back
the human slaves who is turned, and then Lucian frees him,
and that's why they're best friends forever. Yes, best friends forever.
So the other thing we get to see is that
the Historian is the one that saved Victor. That's the
other thing we get to see.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Yes, he gets they put all three, he takes all
three elders away.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
So when the Historian is ostracized for telling the truth, you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
Can see why he be a little up, be.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
A little bit pissed. Yeah, he's like, I could have
just left.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
And Victor is kind of a coward. He comes out
for that big fight scene and then he finds that runs.
He finds Lucian's like getaway thing and he remembers it
and he just takes off.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
So while everybody's fighting, he.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Runs, yes, Yeah, and we see Lucian is kind of
like resistant to silver a little bit. Yeah, he's got
a higher tolerance because they load him up, they shoot
him up.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
But I will say, I know that what you said.
I I hear what you say. I honor your opinion.
But I liked this one, and it's because I love
the whole historical romance. It's the Romeo and Juliet like.
I just loved it. And I thought, I love Bill
Knight and I love Michael Sheen. I thought they did
such a phenomenal job. RUNI Metro was fine, fine, but

(01:10:21):
I love the whole historical like I love the sword
fighting and the slaves get free and fight there Matt.
I loved all that, so I was so there for it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
It was like a by the way, if you're upset,
and you can see Kate Beckham sale nude, Rodometri is nude,
and hollow Man, remember hollow Man with Kevin Bacon's I
think that's the neighbor that he's always fine on. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
Yes, I'm telling you somebody. I have friends of color
and they always say, I don't know, white people all
look the same to me. And I never thought that
was true until I started reviewing movies, and I'm like
and you're like, oh, they all do kind of look
the same.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
Well, we watched a movie, not gonna say what it was,
the name Escape. We definitely he didn't legally watch a
movie that's not out yet.

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
But I remember last night, which we will talk about
in the future.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
While we were watching him, like, is that Lily Collins?
Oh that's just some other girl with eyebrows.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
So many of us look the same, So I don't
blame people for being like, is that the same black haired,
white girl?

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
But now I going to see if Patrick to Topless
directed anything else. Because this was confident enough.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
I had fun with it, fun with it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
But it's weird that they went this route and didn't
just do a sequel right away.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
I read after Underworld started, the pre sales on Underworld
were so good that they greenlit the sequel and the prequel.

Speaker 1 (01:11:40):
All the okay, so it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
Was probably already in the writer's room. They were probably
already floating this idea around, so it was green lit.
So I don't blame them for being like, now we
got to do a prequel because it's been green lit.

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
And I mean, since you can't bring Michael Sheen back
in later movies, this was good to see more of him.

Speaker 2 (01:11:56):
So it was so good.

Speaker 1 (01:11:57):
Good because people did like Lucian, so it's cool that
he his own ORGINI and.

Speaker 2 (01:12:00):
We didn't get to see a lot of Victor and
Lucian in the first one, so to see that interaction
and see where it all came from.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
I wonder if I rewatched the first one, will I
be more invested now that I've seen it. Maybe I
feel like I was fine just hearing about it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
Yeah, I did enjoy this one, and so when I
turned on the fourth one, I think I texted you like,
I've definitely never seen So I fell off on the
third one.

Speaker 1 (01:12:24):
And we're going to get to that, but first I
need to go to the bathroom and unzipper this leather
out and then ziper it back up.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
All right, you go first, and then I'll go.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Okay, fume, break ah, fume, We're back.

Speaker 1 (01:12:54):
Okay, we are back. So sometime passes, yes, and then
I want to say, what was this twenty twelve?

Speaker 2 (01:13:01):
Okay, they were like, you know what, we need.

Speaker 1 (01:13:04):
A fourth movie. Probably should have been the third movie,
but they they took some time to make it, and
we get to Underworld's Awakening this time, It's directed by
bjorn Stein and Mons Marland. I looked up their stuff.
I couldn't find anything else they did. Written by Lenn Wiseman,

(01:13:26):
although he might have just came up with the story,
John Lavin, Alison Burnett, and Jay Michael Strazinski. A lot
of writers for this I was looking up. Apparently everyone
liked the story, but everyone had issues with the script.
They couldn't get this script to work quite right, and
it was an ongoing issue. Yeah, but yeah, this is

(01:13:48):
the actual sequel to Underworld Evolution. Can you read the
pot synopsis?

Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
Kate Becken Sale Return Burns is the ultimate Vampire Warriors
Selene in Underworld Awakening. Having escaped years of imprisonment, she
finds herself in a caged, changed world, not caged in
a changed world where humans have discovered the existence of
both vampires and Lichen clans and are conducting an all

(01:14:20):
out war to eradicate both immortal species. Now Selene must
battle the humans and a frightening new breed of super
Lichens to ensure the Death Dealer's survival.

Speaker 1 (01:14:32):
Yes, so Scott Speedman barely in this gets taken out
pretty quick.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
Yeah, so we learn humans know that vampires and likens exist. Yes,
And in the most realistic part of this entire franchise,
they decide two things. One, we got to wipe them out.
Two we have to test them. We have to figure
out how to use them to our advantage. So Selene
and Michael decide they need to go on the run.
They're going to get on a ship and disappear.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
But at the wharf, yes, they get ambushed.

Speaker 2 (01:15:03):
Ambushed, He's thrown in the water. She jumps in.

Speaker 1 (01:15:06):
After they hit him with like silver. They hit her
with like a UV bomb. Yes, and they're able to
put her on ice for twelve years.

Speaker 2 (01:15:13):
She wakes up in an ice.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
Yeah, at ice if someone unleashes her. And luckily because
I'm just like, well, she has no clothes. What is
she gonna wear? She loves black? Like Lda, Where did
what outfit does she get?

Speaker 2 (01:15:30):
You watch this after me and you texted me exactly
what I thought was she's there for twelve years. Yeah,
she has visions of the POV of someone breaking her out. Yes,
she gets out naked on the ground, freezing, and she
looks up and in glass refrigerated cases is her entire outfit?

Speaker 1 (01:15:51):
Why did they keep her outfit for twelve years. They
never intended for her to get out and walk around again.

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
And what are you going to test on there?

Speaker 1 (01:16:00):
I don't know, but it was just an It's not
even like she killed a security every one thing of
like the security guards had similar outfits and she like
took one of them. No, just her full outfit is there?
Now my problem with this film? Huh there're several uh
so humans are hunting them right, and I'm like, okay,

(01:16:23):
now we're gonna get like an X Men sort of
thing where the lichens of vampires are probably working together
and some want to live with the humans and some wanna.
It's gonna be like this, No, like maybway through the movie,
the humans are forgotten about It's like, nope, it turns
out those dirty lichens we're doing experiments while we innocent

(01:16:47):
vampires have gone into hide in these lichens have been
sneaking around making super lichens and we gotta stop them.
The war still on. I'm like, what about the whole
setup with the humans trying to wipe you out? An
experiment been on you did? We just forget about it?

Speaker 2 (01:17:02):
In twelve years and we get to see a detective
at a crime scene and he's like, we haven't had
a Lichen killing in twelve years. What are you talking about?
So we know that like everything's died down. They essentially
have thought they've eradicated most of them, and we learned
that the Lichens are like underground, and they're basically like
rabid dogs right.

Speaker 1 (01:17:21):
Now, and except some of them aren't. Some of them
have been hiding.

Speaker 2 (01:17:28):
And she keeps having visions where she's connecting to someone
else that they're calling subject too, Yes and seeing the
POV and trying to track this person down, and she
ends up in the sewers, which is where she finds
David David, who is played by THEO James, Yes, THEO James.

Speaker 1 (01:17:48):
THEO James which was recently in The Monkey, which I
still not have seen.

Speaker 2 (01:17:52):
I'm sorry. David was ten times hotter than Michael.

Speaker 1 (01:17:56):
I'm just gonna say so.

Speaker 2 (01:17:58):
She runs across him and he very quickly catches her up.
Li Likens have been eradicated, they are underground. The fact
that we can see them right now running through the
sewers means that something is up. And you know, death
dealers are not a thing anymore. Everybody's been pretty.

Speaker 1 (01:18:15):
Much the werewolves look worse than ever. Yes, I'm like,
how did they get worse? Was supposed to get better?

Speaker 2 (01:18:23):
And she follows one of the scientists home and finds
out that her and Subject Too are somehow bound, and
that whenever Subject Too would be near her cryogenic freezer,
that her heart would match pace with Subject Too. And
so she's like, where is he?

Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
Where is he?

Speaker 2 (01:18:45):
And he's like, I don't know, I don't know. So
she's trying to track down Michael and ends up in
the sewers, ends up with David, and then finally sees
the POV and realizes the Subject To is in the
same sewer system, so she chases it down and sees
her daughter, a little girl, and I was like, God,
damn it. I knew that's what you were going to do.

(01:19:07):
As soon as the sex scene happened, I wrote, they
better not have her get pregnant.

Speaker 1 (01:19:12):
And then we find if you thought the blue makeup
guy was lame, yes, and this one when the werewolves attack,
she's also a hybrid and she's CGI blue makeup, not
even actual makeup, just CGI, and it looks so she
rips a werewolf in half of which I thought was cool,
but Yeah, it just looks so that's the problem movie.

(01:19:32):
It just all looks so bad. Yes, they find all
the vampires. What's his Face's dad is Charles Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:19:39):
Wait, so she gets they go on the run in
a van. They're chased by lower Lichens. The little girl
gets hurt, so they go to his coven, yeah, which
they're underground hiding. So speaking of the vampire from Dracula,
I'm told his dad is Charles Dance.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
From Alien three among other movies. And I do like,
if you got he's a good Bill Nai.

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Replacement one thousand percent.

Speaker 1 (01:20:04):
Yes, although his character is not as interesting now.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
Thomas is his name. Yes, Thomas is like, why would
you bring this bitch into our coven. She's the one
that has killed two of our three elders. She fell
in love with a Lichen. She's not to be trusted.
And they're like, well, you have to help this little girl.
So one of their healers comes out and is like,
I've never seen anything like this. I don't know what

(01:20:28):
this is, and they feed her blood and apparently she's
surprised that she needs to drink blood. Yeah, so I
don't know if in the laboratory they were given it
to her unbeknownst to her, but somehow she's been getting
blood for twelve years.

Speaker 1 (01:20:39):
Or maybe she just figured out a way to like
ingest it with that, I don't know. But she's the
first like born hybrid. Yes, yes, so she is.

Speaker 2 (01:20:47):
What have happened if Victor didn't kill sonya?

Speaker 1 (01:20:51):
Yes? So everyone wants her, and we find out Thomas
betrays them. He strikes a deal with the Lichens and
gives the girl up the girl up to them, and
then this is when we learned that these science Lichens
that have had free reign with no vampires to stop them,
been mutating themselves. So now I get a super The
one scientist was that his son, Yes, uh yeah, he's

(01:21:14):
a King Kong sized werewolf, and I had to send
you a picture of like, wait, they're King kN sign
she sent me and that's I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:21:22):
Exactly where you were because he's like, oh, no, we
have King Kong.

Speaker 1 (01:21:25):
Werewolves, which I was unaware of this, so like, man,
I don't know there was a King con He's the
only good looking werewolf kind of in the whole movie
transformation on his.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
Own son, which yeah, whole kind of twisted.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
So yeah, uh Yeah, that she has to then have,
you know, go and rescue her daughter. There's a whole
thing where there's a scientist in there. It's like, I
thought we were just gonna do this, like no, obviously
we're gonna cut her open and figure out all this stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
But yeah, like, did this one feel short?

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
Yeah? They were so they wanted so badly to have
action scenes. Yeah, but they just kind of threw some
narrative in between actions.

Speaker 1 (01:22:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:22:09):
But not only was I so unattached to anybody in
this movie, but I feel like Celene was extremely unattached
to her own daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:22:18):
Yes. Well, I mean there's a reason she hasn't been
around her. Yeah, and then she can't be with her
at all. Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
Oh, but what we didn't say was at the end,
when she goes back to get her daughter back, who
I found out her name is Eve. Yes, So when
they go to get Eve and rescue Eve, they find
Michael and they break his cryo chamber. Yeah, as they're fighting,
and then when we go back there's no Michael. So
they do still try and include him in the movie somehow.

Speaker 1 (01:22:45):
Yeah. I guess they wanted to put him on hold
for the next film.

Speaker 2 (01:22:48):
Yeah, I will say that the garage, the parking garage
fighting scene, it was I was interested enough that I
was like, and when the lichen couldn't get to her
because she was in such a st I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:23:00):
Then like shrunk down, rink down, And that was kind
of a weird place to have your finales with the
parking garage, Like this doesn't look that cool. I know
it's in the science life.

Speaker 2 (01:23:09):
I forgot there's a human detective that's helping. Yes, because
at some point in time during the purge, which is
what they call the initial eradication of the vampire and
were wolves, his wife was bit because she was a nurse.
She was bit at the hospital. She comes home now
she's a vampire. They were trying to just live their lives.
But the swat team or whatever was out there eradicating

(01:23:31):
everybody shows up and she exposes herself to the son
and kills herself. And so that's why he's always felt
bad for the werewolves and the vampires.

Speaker 1 (01:23:40):
Yes, yes, so, and that's the only thing the human
element goes towards. I'm like, I thought the humans would
be the threat. It's weird to be I thought it's
weird to be like, here's the new threat anyway, where
was versus vampires?

Speaker 2 (01:23:52):
Well still, I'm like, I thought we were gonna get
the alliance.

Speaker 1 (01:23:56):
I thought we were gonna have humans, been like, hey,
we've been stealing your DNA so we can kill all
of view. Now we're a vampire were wolves and we're
gonna annihilate it. No, the humans are just in the background.
And then the next movie, the whole human threat is
just a gord. We never see why even introduce this
element if it's just not a thing. What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
And they mentioned that like the species are almost gone,
but it doesn't seem like it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
No, because the werewolves, the vampires are probably almost gone,
and the werewolves have taken advantage of that because they
get gone.

Speaker 2 (01:24:24):
We see plenty of vampires, like there's multiple covens still alive.

Speaker 1 (01:24:28):
Not many. I think they mentioned that, like there's the East,
the North, yeah, and the and by the way, hey, vampires,
if you're being hunted by a bunch of people, maybe
dress like it's the current year. It'd be so obvious
they'll be wearing Victorian jackets and hanging out in castles
and old stone buildings because everyone who knows what a

(01:24:50):
vampire is is like, oh, yeah, it's probably those guys
over there.

Speaker 2 (01:24:53):
Well, and that's the other things. When the fourth one
we see that they're like underground behind a waterfall in
this sanctuary where they're hide out. But then in the
fifth one they're all just hanging out in manners. Again.

Speaker 1 (01:25:03):
It's so stupid. I when I saw they're still wearing
the Victorian thing, I'm like, you guys aren't even gonna
try to hide your vampires at all.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
Twelve years since the purge, where are you getting all
this shit?

Speaker 1 (01:25:12):
I know, well, maybe that's it. Maybe they can't update
their wardrobe. They can't make it to J. C. Penny
to get a new sports code or something.

Speaker 2 (01:25:20):
This one, as soon as the as soon as the
girl was introduced, I was.

Speaker 1 (01:25:24):
Like, god, yeah, because she's also I mean, I'm sure
she's a lovely actress and is fine.

Speaker 2 (01:25:29):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
She does really great in this. Kate Beckhamsale is looking
bored in the movie this.

Speaker 2 (01:25:34):
She looks so unt.

Speaker 1 (01:25:36):
I feel like this movie is very very close with
Resident Evil. Yeah, where like by the fourth one, you're like,
we're still doing this shit, and then they Resident Evil
hung on a little bit longer. But I was like,
are we done with this? I'm like, this is very dated.

Speaker 2 (01:25:50):
I was watching behind the scenes of Underworld this morning
and they were interviewing her and she was like, this
is the most fun project I've ever been a part of,
And I thought, I wonder if she still thinks that.

Speaker 1 (01:26:00):
Man, I'm so bad again. I'm so glad you mention
your Tom Rader. I'm so mad the Second tomb Raider
was so fucking bad because I would have loved like
fifteen tomb Raider movies. Yeah, and we only got one
okay one and the new reboot was fine. We only
got one okay one and then it went away. I'm like,
I wish there was an alter universe where tomb Raider
was the cheesy two thousand thing that lasted and not
resonant evil and Underworld.

Speaker 2 (01:26:20):
I know, you just never know.

Speaker 1 (01:26:23):
I know, I know it's so bizarre that it worked
out that way. But yeah, I did like how she
killed the big werewolf because he regenerates right away. Yes,
And I like that she like cuts him and he's like,
I regenerate so quickly. She's like, I'm counting on it.
She like locked the bomb in him.

Speaker 2 (01:26:38):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:26:39):
However, as I'm saying that there's no fucking originality in
these movies. That's how they killed one of the pirates
and Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, they put the bomb
in him and then they push.

Speaker 2 (01:26:48):
Him out of the Moonlark film from the nineties reviewed.

Speaker 1 (01:26:51):
Yeah, they but it's specifically pirates, the guy ring. They
put the bomb in him and pushed him out of
the moonlight so he can't get it out of him.

Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:26:59):
So dum, I know, I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:27:02):
I feel like at the beginning of all of this
they had such a good idea, yeah, and they lost it,
they fumbled it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:08):
And I guess it just ends she killed well the
main vampire of the main werewolf gets like his jall
or whatever ripped off.

Speaker 2 (01:27:14):
I think, yeah, and we know that Michael has gotten free.

Speaker 1 (01:27:17):
Michael is free, but he's taken somewhere.

Speaker 2 (01:27:19):
He's on the rooftop, run up to the rooftop and
he's gone.

Speaker 1 (01:27:23):
Yes, And then I think it ends where she's gonna
let what's his face take the daughter somewhere and she
can't know where she is because someone could go into
her blood and find the location, So she doesn't want to.

Speaker 2 (01:27:36):
Know where they're dressed in the fourth one. I missed
it because when they talk about it in the fifth one,
I'm like, did that happen in the fourth one?

Speaker 1 (01:27:43):
Did it not happen in the fourth I.

Speaker 2 (01:27:44):
Think they just mention it in the fifth one, Oh,
because it ends with them looking for Michael. Yeah, and
she's with her daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
Oh maybe that is something they starts and she's a
wreckcon Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
Yeah, so you talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:57):
It is weird how this one's all about, like let's
go get Michael. Yes, but now this one, like none
of the action scenes really stood out. The only thing
I can really remember is a couple of the werewolf
kills where they're like split up and the giant King
Kong wolf. Everything else is kind of lame. Yeah, it
just it didn't. I can see why they struggle with

(01:28:21):
the script because the story seems for the premise is interesting. Yeah,
but like I said, the new threat of the humans
not explored, brushed over. It's just a way to explain
the age.

Speaker 2 (01:28:31):
Should have just had her wake up. All the scientists
are human. They've been experimenting on them for years and
years and years. They break out. They joined forces with
werewolves to try and fight the humans that are now
a very big problem for both of them.

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
Yeah, that's what I thought. It was build better vampires
and likings teaming up to fight the humans. Yes again
X Men. Where it's like Magneto wants to kill the humans.
They want to work with them, and the humans hate that.
It's like a whole thing.

Speaker 2 (01:29:01):
It was.

Speaker 1 (01:29:01):
The whole frozen thing was just an excuse for her
daughter to be twelve, I know, so they could do
like the mother thing without having an actual baby, so
they could have an age appropriate girl who can do
action stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:29:13):
Correct, And that's it, yep.

Speaker 1 (01:29:14):
But like they just ignore all the interesting stuff with
the premise to go right back to werewolves versus vampires,
and the werewolves are doing experiments like they were trying
to do in the first movie with the hybrid. It's
like we've seen all this before, We've done this. I'm
glad the werewolf is giant now. But other than that,
we're just treading the same We're like, we're just treading

(01:29:35):
water here. We're doing the same shit over and over.
But now we have a setup for a new one
where mother and daughter will look for Michael. The hunt
for Michael I guess it was called or.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
We could just let that whole idea go.

Speaker 1 (01:29:49):
So as someone who was watching these movies when they
came out, but skip the why did you skip this one?
In theaters in twenty twelve.

Speaker 2 (01:29:56):
So at that point in time, I would have had
a seven year old in a five five year old,
so I was very busy. I was a nurse. I
was like, there was a lot of stuff I missed
in this time. So and my first child in two
thousand and five.

Speaker 1 (01:30:10):
So from two thousandfold evolution.

Speaker 2 (01:30:13):
Yeah, from two thousand and five until probably twenty twenty,
there was not a lot of movies I got to
go see in theater that weren't animated, And.

Speaker 1 (01:30:22):
It was probably bothering you so much. On my god,
it's like I can't believe it until now, since two
thousand times, it's been over ten years. You were probably like,
I need to know what's going on with Celine and Michael.

Speaker 2 (01:30:32):
Tearing me up? And it was tearing Can these kids
just grow up and move out? Now? Catch up?

Speaker 1 (01:30:37):
Now that you were able to get rid of these
burdens in your life, how was it? But did it
pay off for you to finally see your story?

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
I will tell you normally when I when I say
I'm going to do this for your channel or my channel,
I locked down. I had to start and stop this
one four times. It was.

Speaker 1 (01:31:00):
Well, I had a lot to watch this week. At
the time of this recording, I'm still not finished everything
for the October wrap up. I gotta watch a couple
episodes of Yet what do.

Speaker 2 (01:31:07):
You mean this is November, we're recording in November.

Speaker 1 (01:31:10):
Whatever. H So, yeah, I've been like I had.

Speaker 2 (01:31:13):
You're like the writers of Underworld, it just changed your own.

Speaker 1 (01:31:16):
I had a lot of time to watch these and
like I just got distracted ez Oc Trober's basically I'm like,
oh fuck, I gotta watch five Underworld movies. No, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:31:23):
I by this one, I was like I had to
keep stopping it and watching it was so.

Speaker 1 (01:31:28):
But this is this should have been the last. I
don't know how this and Resident Resident Evil still made money.
I guess I guess this one made money. It must have,
But like at this point, it's like, who's excited for
these movies anymore? Especially after this one? Who wanted the
fifth one? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:31:43):
I would love to know how they talked her into doing.

Speaker 1 (01:31:45):
Four and five, Maybe a contract.

Speaker 2 (01:31:48):
I don't know, maybe because she's she wasn't hurting for work.

Speaker 1 (01:31:51):
Yeah, what is it's two thousand and three, then like
two thousand and.

Speaker 2 (01:31:54):
Six, she's still married to Len at this time.

Speaker 1 (01:31:55):
Maybe maybe around this time. I don't think they broke
up until like recent Yeah, so maybe it was, like
but when's not even involved with these Maybe it's just
like a story or consultant. Yeah, uh, I mean, And
then again, it is a good payday. It is her
action franchise. It's a good thing to return to.

Speaker 2 (01:32:13):
Yeah, a paycheck is a paycheck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:32:15):
But yeah, she's just not very interesting in this one
because again she is a mother, but it's for a
kid that she doesn't spend a lot of time with,
and then as soon as she meets her, the kid
gets kidnapped. So it's hard to like get invested in
their like journey sort of thing.

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
And can you remember that her and Michael were together
feasibly for what a week?

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:32:36):
Exactly? Exactly?

Speaker 1 (01:32:38):
Well, who knows between evolution in the beginning of this movie,
who knows how much time?

Speaker 2 (01:32:42):
Six months?

Speaker 1 (01:32:43):
Yeah? Still, yeah, how long are Vampire is pregnant? Because
she wasn't showing a bump in that beginning, but she
was clearly pregnant, so we're going to say.

Speaker 2 (01:32:54):
They were together for like three months most maybe yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:32:57):
Or do you think the scientist knocked her up with
Michael d NA to see what would happen.

Speaker 2 (01:33:01):
But it was probably the point of showing the sex scene.

Speaker 1 (01:33:04):
Maybe vampires. Maybe vampires just don't show. Maybe maybe the
baby takes nine months and then it grows real quick
and pops out. I don't know, maybe the lag don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:33:12):
We have a hybrid. It could be a whole different thing.
You could cough it out.

Speaker 4 (01:33:16):
Idea, it's a Hybrid's just not an interesting return.

Speaker 2 (01:33:23):
And then they at us another one.

Speaker 1 (01:33:26):
Yes, then a few years later in twenty sixteen, which
I struggle to remember. I remember, I don't even remember
seeing ads for this until we revisit, I'm like, oh right,
there was like another one. But again, this is when
we're breat we're squeezing the last bit of life out
of these, Like Resident Evil made it to seven movies,
true hold On after Life, but at.

Speaker 2 (01:33:49):
Least it still has the video games keeping that alive.

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
Yeah, which, but the movies never really the movies would
take a couple elements from new games and shoehorned into
an original.

Speaker 2 (01:34:00):
He keeps it in that it's in the zeitgeist of the.

Speaker 1 (01:34:02):
Yeah, you know what's funny, the last Resident Evil, like
both the reboot and the Last Meladjovich both came out
around the time of a game release, But Underworld there's
nothing like that.

Speaker 2 (01:34:12):
And they're doing that again with Silent Hill. Yeah, we
have a new video game and now we have a
new movie. Yes, so it's like but with this, there
was like there was no reason to keep this.

Speaker 1 (01:34:20):
I forgot there was like an animated web series that
check out in between. Revisit that at some point. So yeah,
then we skip ahead to twenty sixteen, Yes, go ahead.
Uh Underworld Blood Wars, directed by Anna Forrester, written by
Corey Goodman. Uh yeah, it looks like Len Wiseman was

(01:34:40):
a producer on it, but I don't think. I think
he's hands off at this point. Len Wiseman the last
movie I saw him do. He did the recent John
Wick spin off Ballerina. Oh okay, which was okay but unnecessary.

Speaker 2 (01:34:51):
Yeah yeah, much like most of these, Yes, Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:34:55):
Here we go. So next up is Underworld Blood Wars,
the best Underworld yet question mark. In the next installment
of the blockbuster franchise Underworld, Blood Wars follows vampire death
dealer Selene Kate Beckinsale. She fends off brutal attacks from

(01:35:16):
both the Liking Clan and vampire faction that betrayed her.
With her only allies, David Theo James and his father
Thomas Charles Dance. She must stop the eternal war between
Lichens of vampires, even if it means she has to
make the ultimate sacrifice.

Speaker 2 (01:35:32):
Okay, that makes more sense.

Speaker 1 (01:35:33):
That's a little bit more Okay, sorry, we read another
one that wasn't accurate anyway, So yeah, we've now skipped
ahead a bit. She is separated from her daughter.

Speaker 2 (01:35:42):
This is like Eve told me to consider, I don't
even have a daughter. She's gone somewhere that I'm not
allowed to know, yes, and I'm not supposed to look
for her. But she has like a braid of her
daughter that she keeps, and she has a letter from
her daughter. Yes, but I was like.

Speaker 1 (01:36:01):
Why again, So I thought this movie was all gonna
be about a reunion. Same, Like, Okay, she's gonna team
up with her daughter and that's gonna be great. Nope,
it's just everyone is looking for the daughter.

Speaker 2 (01:36:17):
Yes, So we find out that the Lichens have grown
in numbers and strength. There's multiple clans that are coming
together under one leader, who is Marius.

Speaker 1 (01:36:27):
Marius. Marius played by the guy who played Brutus in
Rome a series Rome forget that.

Speaker 2 (01:36:33):
Have you ever seen Outlander? No, so this actor. If
you've seen Outlander, you'll know what I'm talking about. Just
with the reveal of his face made my heart drop
into my stomach because in Outlander he plays a horrible
person who does some horrible things. So just seeing his face,
I'm like, oh, but he is now in charge of

(01:36:58):
He's brought everyone to get yeah, for the purpose of
finding Eve to use her blood to be a super werewolf.
And then they are going to go after the East Coven,
which is Victor's old coven, and they are going to
finally eradicate the vampires.

Speaker 1 (01:37:15):
Yes, and he is definitely enhanced, so he looks like
a bigger hybrid. He looks like Michael, just bigger.

Speaker 2 (01:37:21):
And we see that he's shooting up with something, but
we don't know what it is until the end.

Speaker 1 (01:37:24):
Yeah, we don't know what it is till the end.

Speaker 2 (01:37:26):
Yes, I thought it was the stuff from the science
lab from the fourth one. Remember the stuff he was
shooting into his son.

Speaker 5 (01:37:33):
Oh yeah, maybe a little bit of that because he
is bigger, but we will find out at the end
what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:37:39):
So yeah, so Selene has like really got no one
on her side. Yes, the vampire coven, there's who's the
lady there? Who's in charge?

Speaker 2 (01:37:47):
Samirah Okay, samirahra charge of what was Victor's coven, Yes,
which apparently Thomas was a part of at one point,
as was Melia. And Thomas and Amelia were very fond
of each other.

Speaker 1 (01:38:01):
Yes, and Thomas didn't like Selene. But Selene was able
to bring his son back to life. We forgot to
mention David was injured.

Speaker 2 (01:38:11):
So David has now drank Selene's blood.

Speaker 1 (01:38:13):
Yeah, and she was able to pump his heart and bring.

Speaker 2 (01:38:15):
About now he can also be in the sunlight.

Speaker 1 (01:38:18):
Yes, so they learned that, like Selene can give you powers,
but they also want.

Speaker 2 (01:38:22):
Her daughter, So they want Selene, they want her daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:38:24):
So it's actually actually didn't mind this. It was kind
of clever. They're like, we want you to bring you
in to train all of us, and she's like, okay,
I will train everything will be forgiven. We're at war
with the Likings. We need you to train them. Turns
out to be a trap, correct. The first like fight
that they have, the one guy, like the main Liking
killer hits her with something to knock her out, and
then they kill all the students that they're going to

(01:38:46):
blame it on her, and yeah, and what's her fate?
What was the girl's name? Again? Samira is basically I
just needed you here so I can figure out where
your daughter is.

Speaker 2 (01:38:54):
I want your blood, yeah, because you have Corvinus.

Speaker 1 (01:38:57):
Blood in you have Corvena's blood and the location of
the High Brand.

Speaker 2 (01:39:00):
Want the location of your daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:39:01):
But she's able to get out with the help of someone.

Speaker 2 (01:39:04):
So Samira has this like kind of cute, a kind
of dumb lover.

Speaker 1 (01:39:09):
Do you know who that is? Who miss a vampire connection?
That is a Daisy Head.

Speaker 2 (01:39:16):
Oh, yes, I know who she is. She's Anthony Stewart's
Head's daughter from Buffy The I thought you meant the
dumb law.

Speaker 1 (01:39:22):
Yeah, that girl keeps showing up at movies and I'm like,
that girl is a weird Fiona Apple knockoff. Look. Yeah,
so when she showed up I'm like, I know who
that is, because she was also in the shitty Wrong
Turn remake, because she was in she was the witch
lady in the New Dungeons Dragon movie. She's got a
very uni.

Speaker 2 (01:39:36):
Her dad was Chiles, the Vampire Slayer, and she has
this but she she's not Samira. She's the one that
was helping bring Selena back. Yes, and she ends up
being the lover of Marius.

Speaker 1 (01:39:50):
So they have their own plan. Yes, And so everyone's back.
That's another thing with this one. It's all about houses
and again the Game of Thrones influence Thrones is really
felt here by the way towards the end there's barely
any guns. It's mostly swords and ship like they're trying
to lean into the sword and sorcery aspect.

Speaker 2 (01:40:09):
Of Yes, and apparently night shade will paralyze vampires. Yes,
learn and and this is the thing that always whenever
on my channel I do the ratings for the vampires
when I talk about like how scary or evil they are,
like what big? What? How big of a problem are
they for humans? All of the freaking in fighting and
backstabbing is going to drop your score because you're so

(01:40:32):
hell bent on stabbing each other in the back, that
you're never going to come together and wipe out humanity.

Speaker 1 (01:40:38):
Yeah, big problem. So this is just backstabbing after backstabbing,
which again we're tired of at this point, and it's.

Speaker 2 (01:40:44):
Always the reveal of like, but I knew you were
backstabbing me, so I was actually double timing throat slit.

Speaker 1 (01:40:51):
It's like a whole thing. But Selene ends up going
to the other vampire sanctuary, the North, the Norse.

Speaker 2 (01:40:57):
Which is very Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 (01:40:59):
Blonde, and now they again they've only ever been like
sciencey vampires, yes, even though we don't know why a
bat and a wolf turned them into that.

Speaker 2 (01:41:10):
But the North coven are all like sorceres.

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
Suddenly they know how to do magic, like the girls
can teleport.

Speaker 2 (01:41:17):
Yet you've come to the right place.

Speaker 1 (01:41:20):
And they're like, we always knew there were other worlds.

Speaker 2 (01:41:23):
And I'm like, and she said that you die and
go into the other world and then you come back,
and if we come back, you're able to like phase
in and out, and you're you are psychic and all
this stuff, and she's like, the way is through the water,
and I know exactly where it was headed.

Speaker 1 (01:41:41):
So basically Selene gets killed early. Like at some point
in the movie, there's a big fighting between the Lichens
and the where and the vampires at the end, again
very game of throne ish. What's her face is trying
to get the Selene blood in her But Selene returns

(01:42:02):
now with a white outfit and blond highlights in her
hair and a lot of plastic surgery, not as much
as she has now, but a very noticeable and now
she has all these magic powers that can take out
all these werewolves and shit. She ends up just ripping
the spine out of Marius.

Speaker 2 (01:42:20):
Oh and we also find out that Amelia and Thomas
are the mother and father of David, so he is
the actual heir to the coven.

Speaker 1 (01:42:31):
Yes, so it deserves to be his and she wants
to take over the covens. That's why she wants to
kill the elders.

Speaker 2 (01:42:38):
Kind of special sword, yeah, silver sword.

Speaker 1 (01:42:40):
Yeah, he has a special sword. She is able to
ingest Selene's blood and gets the immunity to sunlight, but
not the immunity to being fucking stabbed to death. She
turns her back.

Speaker 2 (01:42:51):
She's like, ah, yes, but the best part was she's
so mean to her lover throughout this whole thing. She's
basically like, he just sit there and be quiet and
don't talk to me and all this stuff. So he
ends up betraying her.

Speaker 1 (01:43:04):
Well, he's like, you said, you promised to honor me.
He's like, oh, he said to I, honor whoever was
in charge of the house, and it's this guy. Now, Yeah,
fuck you. Yeah you're not in charge anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:43:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:43:13):
She's like, probably should have been nicer than me, bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:43:16):
Yeah, the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:43:17):
Uh, but yeah, it was weird that Selene was got
her asking then somehow worked up enough energy to rip
the spine out of the big guy. Uh, but we learned,
we learned when she bites him. I think she gets
all his memories. They drained Michael dry.

Speaker 2 (01:43:32):
They brought up Marius, got a hold of Michael, Yeah,
trained him and put him in little vials, and that's
what he's been shooting.

Speaker 1 (01:43:40):
Yes, and I guess he's running out, which is why
he wants the hybrid. Why didn't they just keep Michael
alive on ice perhaps like other people were doing.

Speaker 2 (01:43:50):
He didn't think it through.

Speaker 1 (01:43:52):
Yeah, So I'm like, that's a shitty way to write
out Scott Speedman, just like oh and then we killed him.
He died between movies. The last we saw he was
on a roof being taken away. I assume other vampire
agents came in and got him out of there.

Speaker 2 (01:44:07):
Whatever. Marias has a helicopter, I guess, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:44:10):
Yeah, so Charles Dance dies, but he's he's able to
have his own little fight scene, which is.

Speaker 2 (01:44:15):
Fine, like men's things with his son.

Speaker 1 (01:44:18):
Yeah, yeah, he's able to make up. But then, like,
so we're left with this sequel where it's just more
vampires versus werewolves. But at the end, now they're gonna
try and make an alliance because David's like, everyone leave,
take your wounded, because he could just kill them. Yes,
but he's like so for him, he's like, we're going
to try and like merge us, yes, and become like

(01:44:41):
a thing. I'm like, well that's where I thought the series.

Speaker 2 (01:44:43):
Yeah, because he was like, I've killed your leader.

Speaker 1 (01:44:45):
Yeah yeah. But it's like I keep thinking the series
is building up to that, and then they keep shying
away from it to keep the war going. I'm like,
but it feels like that's a natural thing.

Speaker 2 (01:44:55):
And it always starts and ends with her voiceover.

Speaker 1 (01:44:57):
Yeah and again the human threat barely mentioned.

Speaker 2 (01:45:01):
It's just they all moved very freely.

Speaker 1 (01:45:03):
They only mentioned it to show why they're in hiding,
and then it's just not mentioned anyway. Yeah. So if
you're wondering where the return for Michael is, it's not happening.
He's dead and she still doesn't find her daughter. So
we're left on this weird cliffhanger. I don't think this
one did well.

Speaker 2 (01:45:21):
Let me look at and the ending, She's like, I've
lived a thousand years and now I, you know, continue
the fight, and I'm just like, what what?

Speaker 1 (01:45:31):
It's just constantly going back to the status quo.

Speaker 2 (01:45:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:45:35):
Uh so let's see this one budget thirty five million.
It made eighty one million.

Speaker 2 (01:45:40):
But let me see here, let me keep back in
sales that I'm not coming back.

Speaker 1 (01:45:45):
Yeah, it was the lowest debut of the franchise. Yeah,
so it was. It was a pretty big decrease critically,
not great. Let me see what it says. Possible sequel.
Wiseman revealed that a sixth film in twenty seventeen. Wise
we revealed that a sixth film is in development, with
Beck and Sale reprising role as Selene. On September thirteenth,

(01:46:06):
twenty eighteen, Beckham Sale said she will not appear in
the sixth film should it be made, stating I wouldn't return.
I've done plenty of those. In twenty twenty one, however,
she backtracked and stated that she was not opposed to reprise.
And at some point, you gotta know, Kate. I know,
I'm sorry, I know you're not getting plastic surgery, but uh,

(01:46:26):
you're using your You don't look like two thousand and
three k Back and Sale anymore. At some point you
gotta like.

Speaker 2 (01:46:31):
Hampe like Selene was supposed to be nineteen.

Speaker 1 (01:46:34):
Yes, yeah, k back and Sales in her fifties. Now,
that's the thing. Well do the vampires eight I guess
they don't age. So that's a problem with vampire stuff.
If you're not supposed to age. It's like at some
point you gotta recast or pass the torch to someone else,
which is what I thought they were doing with the
daughters set up. That's the logical place to go, is

(01:46:55):
Eve now right, Like I'm honoring my mom's legacy. Like
I would have been fine if Sling died in the
last one.

Speaker 2 (01:47:00):
They could just now have a story about Eve Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:47:03):
I thought for a minute, I thought that Daisy head
Girl was gonna be eve like a big reveal, but
that wasn't it. Uh Yeah, you need uh someone else
or just let under or just let underworld go. You
guys haven't really, It's just the werewolves are doing more
experiments and now we're using these weapons, and I.

Speaker 2 (01:47:22):
Think that's what what's happening is. For a long time
we had sort of like the futuristic vampire, but now
we're going back to the classic vampire. So we have
nos Vatu and we have the one we watched last night,
which we will not name. Yeah, and so going back
to the.

Speaker 1 (01:47:37):
Classes, speaking of what was going on at the time,
the vampires suddenly getting abilities, wasn't that a thing introduced
in one of the Twilight movies, like different vampires had
different So they're barring from that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're right where vampire stuff is right now. We're no
longer doing the global vampires living with humanity. We kind
of did that. Yeah, so there's really less to pull

(01:47:59):
from going back.

Speaker 2 (01:48:00):
To the gothic classic.

Speaker 1 (01:48:02):
Yeahpire, Yeah, and the more monstrous vampire. But I it
is a bummer. Is someone who really didn't like one
but enjoyed two. It's a shame that they went and
did that okay prequel and then just fumbled continuing the story.
They waited too long to circle back.

Speaker 2 (01:48:20):
It doesn't even matter if you wait too long, as
long as the story is good, Like take the time,
write the good story, have the ability to do it. Yeah,
they just it felt like, you know how everyone's a
while to do the franchise movies. You're like, we have
to make something or we're going to lose the rights.

Speaker 1 (01:48:36):
That's the really a thing in this though.

Speaker 2 (01:48:38):
That's what I'm saying. It's like you understand it in that.
In this it felt like they were doing that, but
they didn't have to do You don't have to force
out a movie because it's been ten years and you
need to hold the right Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:48:48):
Like although there wasn't too much time between, they sprinkle
them out like it wasn't like every year.

Speaker 2 (01:48:53):
That's what I'm saying, Like you had the time to
do it right.

Speaker 1 (01:48:56):
Yeah. Yeah, I think doing the prequel bumbled it. They
should have just did the sequel right away while it
was well then.

Speaker 2 (01:49:03):
I think they had already signed on.

Speaker 1 (01:49:05):
I know, but while the Cliffhanger was still from two
thousand and six twenty twelve to finally circle back to Selene.
I feel like that was just too much time in between,
and by twenty sixteen everyone was getting tired. Other franchises
were coming back at that point. Sure, Jurassic Star Wars
everything that was still when the MCU was like striking
while the Iron like the MCU was like on fire

(01:49:26):
at that point. And yeah, some of these older franch
are like even the later Resident Even movies didn't do
super well because people were like, we're over it. This
is a very early two thousands franchise. It can't really
exist outside of that timeframe.

Speaker 2 (01:49:40):
Well, the other problem too, is the people that really
enjoyed it in two thousand and three when the when
four and five came out, like we had kids, we
were busy, we were running around like we were not
going to go back to the theaters to be there
front like it was. The people that loved it in
two thousand and three had how their shit to do.

Speaker 1 (01:49:59):
Yeah, yes, and even if they have kids, their kids
aren't old enough. I don't know, maybe it's ten years
under world we'll have a resurgence.

Speaker 2 (01:50:06):
Who knows h but what is it.

Speaker 1 (01:50:08):
It's twenty twenty, it's almost been ten years since this
is the longest break they ever had, so it's probably
not happened.

Speaker 2 (01:50:13):
Yeah. Yeah, And a lot of times when I go
back and revisit these movies, I'll now have my kids
watch them with me because they're eighteen and twenty. Yeah,
but I didn't even have them sit down and watch
this one ycause I was like, yeah, I don't think
you're gonna like it. But like so, I don't even
think this is a movie that I would sit my
kids down and be like, you have to watch this
from dusk till and.

Speaker 1 (01:50:30):
Again, you're right now. Then they eventually got too much
because Twilight had vampires versus were wolves. True Blood had it.
There were other things.

Speaker 2 (01:50:37):
Doing with it, but did it so much better?

Speaker 1 (01:50:39):
Yeah? Yeah, it's funny, like not, I mean there's always
been vampires were rare wolves, but this is like the
big one from the two thousands, and then other ones
just kind of like overtook this franchise. Yeah. But yeah,
so now we're at the end.

Speaker 2 (01:50:53):
We're ready.

Speaker 1 (01:50:54):
What is the worst Underworld movie? I think we can
agree the best is Evolution, Right.

Speaker 2 (01:50:59):
I think that we're both going to agree on these, Okay,
So I think the worst one is ready, I'm gonna
say one, two, three, and you say yours.

Speaker 1 (01:51:06):
One two three, Four Blood Wolf. I went Blood Wars.
That's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:51:12):
Yeah, Oh no, I think four was the worst. No.

Speaker 1 (01:51:16):
Four had big werewolf.

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
That didn't do it for me.

Speaker 1 (01:51:23):
Honestly. That's the only saving graces that there was a
King Kong werewolf and I went cool, whereas five it
was just like, remember that lame blue guy, what if
he was slightly bigger in CGI and I went lame.

Speaker 2 (01:51:38):
I think I think Mary has saved the fifth one.
He was interesting and I loved seeing the different covens again,
so like the East Coven and the North Coven.

Speaker 1 (01:51:47):
And I think the problem is like the fourth one
kind of reset things and even if that movie was lame,
it could have set up for a cool sequel. But
that sequel ended up being lame and repetitive, and any
new element that was introduced was corny. So that's why
Blood Wars is like the bottom for me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:52:04):
I think four really really really fumbled it. I mean
they had the opportunity, yeah, and they just went back
to the same old format. I was so I felt
like she didn't give a shit about her daughter. So
that doesn't drive the movie along. And I had to
start it and stop it so many times because I

(01:52:24):
kept checking the time and I'm like, how's it only
been two minutes?

Speaker 1 (01:52:29):
So I mean, I think I think it's it's a
sign that both our picks were the last two. It
really shows like the.

Speaker 2 (01:52:35):
Place they should have stopped at three.

Speaker 1 (01:52:36):
Yeah, the franchise really ran. I know they needed to
do one more. If they should have done it right,
they should have just not done the prequel. Honestly, as
okay as it was, they should have not done it
so we could have got some kind of resolution. But yeah,
instead we got nothing. We just kept getting more sequel hooks.

Speaker 2 (01:52:55):
I would have I was fine with three because again,
I love the romantic backstory. It was very fantastic. It
was very like historical romance novel. I was in for it.
And the second one ended in a way where they
they really could have just dropped it having her pregnant
and then having a child. It just ruined it for me.

Speaker 1 (01:53:14):
I don't know, you could have done something cool with it,
but yeah, that's but again, the best one is too right, Oh, yeah,
best one is for me, it's like two, three, one,
four or five.

Speaker 2 (01:53:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:53:26):
I did like the prequel more than the first one,
even if it was the most unnecessary one. Yeah, but yeah,
just the best thing in the first one were the werewolves,
and they just cut kind of worse throughout the film.

Speaker 2 (01:53:35):
The best thing in the first one was Bill Night
to call him when he is walking around with that
black skirt and all the stuff connected to his back.

Speaker 1 (01:53:44):
And that's the thing. When they bring in Charles Dance,
not to be the same character, but kind of like similar,
he's just not as good and that's the writing.

Speaker 2 (01:53:51):
He could have been a great And that's what saved
three for me was Bill NII and Michael Sheen.

Speaker 1 (01:53:56):
But what do you think? What's your worst Underworld movie?
Or are you a hardcore Underworld fans who love the franchise.

Speaker 2 (01:54:05):
I'll be interested to see if people are mad at
us for not liking four and five, because there's got
to be some people out there that.

Speaker 1 (01:54:11):
Like No, probably they're probably mad at me for not
like one if they like them at all. But I
think most even a big Underworld fan that we talked
to this weekend, and I'm not gonna say it's Casey's
boyfriend Ian, because that might embarrass him that he's super
into Underworld. I think I think even he was just like, yeah,
those last two weren't great, but he loved the first three. Yeah,

(01:54:33):
he loved the first three.

Speaker 2 (01:54:34):
Same.

Speaker 1 (01:54:35):
But I won't say that that was him. I don't
want everyone to know that he's a huge Underworld fan.

Speaker 2 (01:54:41):
He lit up when we told him.

Speaker 1 (01:54:44):
But yes, that is if it was Lena. Yes, again,
you're gonna go more in detail. Where can we follow
you for that?

Speaker 2 (01:54:50):
It's called the Beautiful Dead Podcast, Yes, and I am
on YouTube. It's audio only if you like to go listen,
but you don't get to see all the stuff. Yeah,
and then the Beautiful Dead Podcast on Instagram. And so
the last weekend of November all the way through December,
I will do every single one of these in detail
and try and break down the vampire rules. They're all

(01:55:11):
over the place.

Speaker 1 (01:55:13):
So yes, follower for that after you watch this episode.
This will come out a little earlier than that, so
subscribe because then I'm also gonna be in something else
in December, but we'll save that one. We'll save that one.
Big anniversaries coming up for a big vampire movie.

Speaker 2 (01:55:27):
Something again we've been talking about doing for a while.

Speaker 1 (01:55:29):
Yes, and I did something very similar recently, so I'll
give you a hint of what it is. So yes, like, share, subscribe, Followina.
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(01:55:50):
it will auto upgrade you. Sometimes it'll randomly auto upgrade you.
And I put out a couple free samples. By the
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and that's it from us. Goodbye everyone. Shout out again

(01:56:12):
to our sponsor, Fume. Go to trifume dot com, slash
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Speaker 2 (01:56:31):
Talking about tapes,