August 22, 2025 • 24 mins
Have Gun Will Travel was a popular western radio drama series that ran from 1958 to 1960. It debuted as a television series in 1957 and was one of only a few American television programs that paved the way for a radio version. Although the radio show initially featured stories adapted from television, many of the 106 radio episodes were original stories. The stories follow the adventures of Paladin, played by John Dehner.
Hope you enjoy this episode of Have Gun Will Travel! Find all our OTR radio stations and podcasts at theaterofthemind-otr.com - Audio Credit: The Old Time Radio Researchers Group - All Podcasts @ Spreaker | Apple | YouTube
Hope you enjoy this episode of Have Gun Will Travel! Find all our OTR radio stations and podcasts at theaterofthemind-otr.com - Audio Credit: The Old Time Radio Researchers Group - All Podcasts @ Spreaker | Apple | YouTube
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I've met a lot of rash old men in my
travels who paid a high price for their notorious reputations.
But I've never met a man who was paid as
much as you have. Was it worth it? Have gone?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Will travel?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Selling?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Mister John Dayner as Paladin, San Francisco, eighteen seventy five,
The Carlton Hotel, headquarters of a man called Paladin.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
It just isn't possible. It's ridiculous. Hey, yes, come in,
let me see you trying to the dresser. He's so probalyd.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And what's the moody you call around a floor like that?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Hey boy, it just isn't possible. It's vanished, completely vanished.
Oh my, it slipped out of my hand. I was
standing right there. But where is it? Where did the
confounded thing go?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I help you look, let's see off, mis what we
look for in my collar button?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Oh? Oh, let's see it off. Isn't possible. And I'm
due for my appointment with the Countess in fifteen minutes.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
A condis in the.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Right Honorable Countess of Dunkley Tatsbroom. She sent me a note.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh yes, see guts in hotel.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
She's very nice lady come in.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Oh he divided that night. Can't run now?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Maybe it's ober?
Speaker 6 (01:56):
What's mandy to crawl a lado floor like that?
Speaker 7 (01:59):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Miss, you won't?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Maybe are you come back later?
Speaker 5 (02:02):
We're very busy.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Hey boys, quite right, and as long you've coming a
round a bad time, come back later, please?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
All right? I go come back lada. Oh mis, had
you dropped color? Button and flow? I'll put him here
a kilo. You'll be looking for that today? Maybe, well,
I come back when you busy?
Speaker 8 (02:23):
Are you're smoking more now? And giant it?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Least have a real singer.
Speaker 8 (02:38):
Rat, have a camel the fat make the very best.
Have a real singer.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Have a camel?
Speaker 7 (02:46):
Then?
Speaker 8 (02:47):
Are you looking for flavor and mildness? I have a
real singer. Rat, have camel the back, wake the very best.
Speaker 9 (02:56):
Mom, have a real cingarette, a realtor a real sacre.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Right, Pap came.
Speaker 10 (03:06):
Again for the eleventh straight year. Camel outsold every other cigarette.
Filled her King's eye and regular. The best tobacco makes
the best smoke. So if you're smoking more now but
enjoying it less, change to camels. Get more real satisfaction
every time. Start to really enjoy smoking again.
Speaker 9 (03:22):
Have a real sat a real scaret, a real sacre.
Speaker 8 (03:26):
Right pap came.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Thanks to missus Wong. I arrived from my appointment promptly
at ten. Lady May, the right Honorable Countess of Dunkley Totsborough,
waited for me in her sitting room, stiffly erect in
an enormous high backed chair. She was every inch a
noble woman, a delicate bird like, lovely old lady with
snow white hair and alert blue eyes.
Speaker 11 (03:57):
You sit down, mister Kelladin Guild. You are a gentleman
with the gun who travels. Yes, rather an odd calling.
But then I suppose it's only temporary.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Well, sometimes a business like mine can be very temporary.
Speaker 11 (04:14):
Really, Oh yes, because well, mister Paladin, I am here
in San Francisco for only one reason, to avail myself
of your unusual services.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Fatter Lady May.
Speaker 11 (04:29):
My husband, the Earl of Dunkley Tatsborough, died three years ago.
The title and estate plane of geniture you know past
my oldest son, Gerald, Dear boy Gerald, very much like
his father, stuffy in a boor but a deer. Nevertheless,
six months ago Gerald met with an unfortunate shooting accident.
(04:52):
Partridge Partridge on the moors in the mist, who can't
see anything besides family. Is such a beastlish, detestable girl.
I never did like her, Pamela Jerald's wife, she shot him.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh, oh, that was indeed most unfortunate.
Speaker 11 (05:09):
So now the title and estate passed my son Bertrand
that's where you come in. I want you to find him.
He's lost, Oh, dear no, he's somewhere in this splendid
country of yours.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well it's quite a large country, you know. Well where
would I stop from him? That is, if I started
out to find him?
Speaker 7 (05:33):
Where?
Speaker 11 (05:34):
The last post I had from the dear boy was
from a place called Stinking Springs.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh, isn't it well, it narrows it down. That's in
the Hila River section.
Speaker 11 (05:46):
But that was over a year ago.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
A lady may was Berton what we call a remittance
man banished from home, living on an allowance.
Speaker 11 (05:55):
Banished is rather a harsh word, mister Palladin. And as
from Lowndes, Bertie is quite wealthy in his own right
from his godmother, the Dear Duchess. When he came to
this country, he had a deposit of fifty thousand pounds
to his credit in the Chase National Bank.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Of New York. But a quarter of a million dollars.
It's quite a sum, I.
Speaker 11 (06:16):
Must confess, mister Paladin. I was always inclined to favor Bertran.
He was a delicate child, mild manner, gentle. He grew
to be a fine man, but there was always conflict
with his father, who felt he was a weakling and
depende suppe who it seems a wise thing Bertie should
(06:39):
leave England.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Do you think he'll want to go back?
Speaker 11 (06:43):
He must. He is now the Earl of Duncley, Tatsborough.
He must take his rightful place. Yeah, this ring. Take
it to mister Paladin when you'll find him, and I
know you shall show it to him. He bears the
(07:03):
family crest. And if he should hesitate at all, say this.
See Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 11 (07:20):
Yes, he will understand. Here is his picture. It was
taken four years ago, just before he left England.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Goodness, let's see. I mean this is the right honorable Bertrand,
Earl of Dunkley, Tatsborough.
Speaker 11 (07:39):
Yes, poor dear, I'm proved so about it. He's going
so far away, feeling he was unwanted.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well, Lady May, he doesn't have to feel unwanted anymore.
He's wanted by the territories of Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas.
Speaker 11 (07:55):
Yeh, boy, whatever do you mean?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I hate to say this, but there's no mistake this picture.
This is bad Burt.
Speaker 11 (08:03):
That's Lord DERTRM taken four years ago.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
That is bad bert. He is known as a tough,
dangerous road agent. No, I'm sorry, Lady May.
Speaker 11 (08:18):
Tough, yes, dangers, yes, well, I wish his father could
hear that, bully for Bertie.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Constipation is something people don't talk about much, but it
can be a problem for anyone, even doctors. And when
constipation occurs, it's interesting to see just what doctors consider
important about a laxative.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
They might use or recommend. Well.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
A majority of the doctors we heard from had this
to say. A laxative should be effective as close to
natural acting as possible, and the medicine that can be
used with complete confidence.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
X lax has been popular with many doctors and millions
of people over the years. Because plant tasting chocolate at
x lax is effective overnight, it helps you toward your
normal regularity.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
X lax is gentle next morning.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It gives you the closest thing to natural action, and
that's why many doctors and millions of people use x
lax with complete confidence. X lax, the laxative that helps
you toward your normal regularity gently overnight, is x lax
in your medicine cabinet.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I couldn't see much chance for success in locating the
Earl of Dunkley Tatsboro, alias bad Bert, since obviously the
combined law enforcement officers of all the Southwest had failed
in this endeavor. But Lady May had offered a handsome fee,
twinkled her eyes at me, and besides, I was curious.
I wondered why anyone with fifty thousand good, substantial English
(10:01):
pounds to draw on would bother to hold up a stage.
It was a search without much plan or direction, But
I started by looking in on my friend Truman Billings,
the sheriff of Navajo County. The walls of his office
were plastered with wanted posters, and among them I found
bad Burt. Well.
Speaker 12 (10:19):
Tell you the truth, Paladin, we don't know an awful
lot about that fella. He's a real baffling curse.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Why have you made any real effort to track him down.
Speaker 12 (10:26):
Oh, look at that wall, Paladin, Look at the wattage
we got. We have to do our work where we
get the most pressure. What do you mean by that, Well,
take these stagecoach robberies, the insured shipments that get held up,
payroll stuff like that. These we get pressure on. Those
insurance companies are on our tail every minute. There's Burt here.
(10:47):
He's lifted a lot of gold, but they was all
private shipments, none of it insured.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Just having to work out that way. He'd always worked
out that way.
Speaker 12 (10:56):
Yeah, same report from every place he's operated.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
But what about these prime parties who lost gold to Bert,
the people for whom the shipments were intended. Didn't any
of them ever apply any any pressure?
Speaker 12 (11:06):
No, not that I recall. I figure they must have
been folks passing through. Took it to something you got
to expect in this part of the country.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
All the talk I've heard about Burt makes him out
to be a pretty tough character. Was anyone ever killed
or injured in any of these hold upsoce? No, But
don't kid yourself. He ain't tough.
Speaker 12 (11:23):
He's got himself a gang of the worst outlaws in
the country. What's your interest in impelled.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I have a message for him.
Speaker 12 (11:31):
Oh you watch yourself if you ever run into him.
He's a bad one. I don't suppose you could tell
me what the message is.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I could, but you wouldn't believe it. Lady May had
given me a list of the postmarks and all the
letters Lord Bertram had written home to England in the
past four years, and I checked each town. Everyone seemed
to know fear and respect Bad Burt the road agent.
I discovered that he had become a sort of legendary character,
(12:02):
and the tales about him had grown with the tellings.
The road from Sofur Flats to heel A Bend was
a desolate one. I was the only passenger in the coach,
but a heavy chest was riding in the boot.
Speaker 11 (12:21):
It's here to hold of, mister, Come on get out.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Ah feels good to stretch my leg.
Speaker 9 (12:30):
Drop your gods, I drop it sure and watch yourself
and you won't get hurt.
Speaker 8 (12:36):
It's in the boot, boss.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Come on, hurry up, mister.
Speaker 9 (12:40):
It's here coach being robbed by Bad Bert, leader the
toughest gang in the West.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
That was very interesting. Why do you tell me that
boss has orders? Oh? Where's the boss way up there
on the hill.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, that's the boss.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
He got a spyglass. Then he doesn't actually take part
in these robbers.
Speaker 9 (12:57):
Oh he figured a mystery so far he done real good,
aren't you got it?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Boss?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
On the last move?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute. I've got something here
I want you to take to your boss.
Speaker 9 (13:08):
Get your hand out of that pocket.
Speaker 10 (13:09):
Get him.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well, well you get it. Then it's in my vest
pocket here at the ring for your boss or what
side there?
Speaker 9 (13:16):
You don't want no ring?
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I think he'll want this one. I take it to him.
It's in this pocket here.
Speaker 9 (13:24):
Oh yeah, uh oh.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
What's that? Boss?
Speaker 9 (13:30):
You seen me through that spyglass? See me reach in
your pocket. We ain't supposed to take nothing but gold.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
See he got some funny ideas well. You show him
that ring. He'll understand. And my name is Paladin. I'm
going to be at the King Hotel and he'll a bend.
Don't forget them.
Speaker 9 (13:46):
Oh, don't you forget this here, coach robbed by bad bird.
Speaker 8 (13:49):
Come on, boss, come on.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
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Speaker 1 (14:53):
When the stage coach reached hil of Bend, I went
hi imediately to the freight office. I was anxious to
learn if the party who lost the ship and of
gold a bad Bert would be as disinterested as the others.
The gold had been addressed to Hobbes L. Puffer esquire.
The clerk had never heard of a gentleman. But then
I remember that Hobbs L. Puffer was the name of
(15:15):
a Cambridge cricket champion who had died three years ago.
That's when I ordered a telegram to the Chase National
Bank of New York, requesting an immediate reply. I checked
into the King Hotel and had a drink and dinner
and started back to the telegraph office. I was just
rounding the corner when I felt the gun at my back.
Speaker 9 (15:34):
Valid him who you He's gonna take a little trip,
Boss Wall see.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
You all right the first time going to step into
the telegraph office.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
You ardd me.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
You heard me? Yes?
Speaker 12 (15:56):
So what can they do for you?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
My name is Paladin. Did you get an answer to
my wire? Sure?
Speaker 13 (16:01):
Then it is already out, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
He get up, Come on, come on, come on. We
can't keep the boss waiting. As we followed the trail
that led over a mountain, I had a lot of
time to think about the message I'd received from the bank.
They confirmed what I guess I'd already known. Lord Bertrand
had been stealing from himself, orderinglishments of gold from his
(16:40):
account to be delivered in a fictitious name, then setting
up the hold up and splitting with his men. It
was almost daylight when we reached bad Birt's headquarters.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
There's quite a place you have here, Yes, some hide out. Indeed,
it is ie here door. This leads the drawing room.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Drawing room.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Well that's what the boss calls it. I can't figure
why everybody's waiting for you to get on it.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Well he is boss.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah, are you coming, mister Paladin Bert, nice place you
have here, Thank Joey. We like it or like a
fancy hunting lodge, and I hide out for thieves. Now,
don't bother with introductions. I recognize these boys from their pictures,
and your group certainly adds up to a tidy little
sum and reward money.
Speaker 9 (17:28):
He get an awful smart ball, and mister.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Paladin, we can do nicely without your trailer is I
brought to her simply to ask where did you get
this ring?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It was given to me along with a message for you, Missy. Well,
well come, man's the message. It's heavy. I think you'd
better send your men out.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
No, not at all, My companion's are men with me?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Now?
Speaker 5 (17:52):
Please?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Missy? All right, Bert, you asked for it. Mums needs
her twinkie boy.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Now what's that supposed to mean?
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Why you No, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 9 (18:07):
Mister ket Well, you can't stand still for that kind
of consultant talk.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
No, gentleman, I'm going to have to ask you to
leave the drawing room. After all, this is the matter.
I feel that I must settle myself add a boy ball.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Because he's too durned smart.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Come on, fellows, Well, mister Paladin, from your message, it
appears that my tenure here is over.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Oh you couldn't have held out much longer anyway. Even
fifty pounds doesn't last forever when you're cutting in practically
every outlaw on the frontier.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Oh but it was money well spent, mister Paladin.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You can't possibly imagine, I think I can, Lord Bertrand,
or should I say bad Bert? Oh yes, bad.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Bird boss wanted.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Oh well, if Moms needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 14 (19:23):
Those people come in to me and they say, oh,
told you were once a great chef, Because I am
now selling meat in my butcher shop. One sometimes forgets
I know lots about cooking me too, though, I'll let
you in on a little cooking secret of mine.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
French is w's the sheer sauce?
Speaker 8 (19:41):
Ah?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Only French is what's the shear has in it?
Speaker 14 (19:44):
A collection of spices the Germans know accentuates a good
flavor of meat. Frenches also has soy an chope's tamarinds.
I could go on and on, but.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
These things due to everyday food mouth watering nay. I
suggest you try this with pot roast at one tablespoon
franchist was this year to each cup of travy Ah.
Would you believe the difference with francis You really spark.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Up your meals and people will say, my goodness, but
you're a wonderful cook, just as they used to say
to me.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, I finished with this, miss long, you can take
the trade downstairs.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
I keep thinking all the time of this bad boot
you tell me about he really rough, he's on money,
and divide up with that man.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Well you understand, of course, miss wrong. The men didn't
know it was his money. They just figured he was
a pretty clever boss planning all those successful hold ups.
And naturally, in the custom among thieves, there had to
be a division of the spoils.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Very funny rough he's on money.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Well, Miss Wong. Bert was a meek little man, painfully
aware of his insignificant He desperately needed important fear a
big man, even if it cost him his inheritance.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
Oh plenty money to have that refutation.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Ah, but Bert had his day of glory. Now Lord Berton,
the Earl of Dunkley Tuxborough, is back in England, attending
to his estate where he'll live out his days. He
be forgotten, but mark you my words. The stories about
bad Bert will grow and be told and retold until
nobody will know where the truth leaves off and the
(21:30):
tall tales begin. But he'll be remembered.
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Oh oh brother, there's miserable cold and my sinuses.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
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(22:16):
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(22:37):
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decongestin tablet.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Have Gun Will Trouble.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Created by Herb Meta and Sam raw Is pull Give Stand,
directed in Hollywood by Frank Palace, and stars John Dayner
as Twerdin, with Ben Wright as hey Boy and Virginia
Gregg as Miss warm Tonight's story was basically written for
Have Gone Will Travel by Ann Dows, featured in the
cast for Launch stopped in Bartlet Robinson, James Nusser and
(23:19):
Taggy Webber. This is Hugh Douglas inviting you to join
us again next week when CBS Radio presents Have Gun
Will Travel
I've met a lot of rash old men in my
travels who paid a high price for their notorious reputations.
But I've never met a man who was paid as
much as you have. Was it worth it? Have gone?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Will travel?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Selling?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Mister John Dayner as Paladin, San Francisco, eighteen seventy five,
The Carlton Hotel, headquarters of a man called Paladin.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
It just isn't possible. It's ridiculous. Hey, yes, come in,
let me see you trying to the dresser. He's so probalyd.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And what's the moody you call around a floor like that?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Hey boy, it just isn't possible. It's vanished, completely vanished.
Oh my, it slipped out of my hand. I was
standing right there. But where is it? Where did the
confounded thing go?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I help you look, let's see off, mis what we
look for in my collar button?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Oh? Oh, let's see it off. Isn't possible. And I'm
due for my appointment with the Countess in fifteen minutes.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
A condis in the.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Right Honorable Countess of Dunkley Tatsbroom. She sent me a note.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh yes, see guts in hotel.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
She's very nice lady come in.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Oh he divided that night. Can't run now?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Maybe it's ober?
Speaker 6 (01:56):
What's mandy to crawl a lado floor like that?
Speaker 7 (01:59):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Miss, you won't?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Maybe are you come back later?
Speaker 5 (02:02):
We're very busy.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Hey boys, quite right, and as long you've coming a
round a bad time, come back later, please?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
All right? I go come back lada. Oh mis, had
you dropped color? Button and flow? I'll put him here
a kilo. You'll be looking for that today? Maybe, well,
I come back when you busy?
Speaker 8 (02:23):
Are you're smoking more now? And giant it?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Least have a real singer.
Speaker 8 (02:38):
Rat, have a camel the fat make the very best.
Have a real singer.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Have a camel?
Speaker 7 (02:46):
Then?
Speaker 8 (02:47):
Are you looking for flavor and mildness? I have a
real singer. Rat, have camel the back, wake the very best.
Speaker 9 (02:56):
Mom, have a real cingarette, a realtor a real sacre.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Right, Pap came.
Speaker 10 (03:06):
Again for the eleventh straight year. Camel outsold every other cigarette.
Filled her King's eye and regular. The best tobacco makes
the best smoke. So if you're smoking more now but
enjoying it less, change to camels. Get more real satisfaction
every time. Start to really enjoy smoking again.
Speaker 9 (03:22):
Have a real sat a real scaret, a real sacre.
Speaker 8 (03:26):
Right pap came.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Thanks to missus Wong. I arrived from my appointment promptly
at ten. Lady May, the right Honorable Countess of Dunkley Totsborough,
waited for me in her sitting room, stiffly erect in
an enormous high backed chair. She was every inch a
noble woman, a delicate bird like, lovely old lady with
snow white hair and alert blue eyes.
Speaker 11 (03:57):
You sit down, mister Kelladin Guild. You are a gentleman
with the gun who travels. Yes, rather an odd calling.
But then I suppose it's only temporary.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Well, sometimes a business like mine can be very temporary.
Speaker 11 (04:14):
Really, Oh yes, because well, mister Paladin, I am here
in San Francisco for only one reason, to avail myself
of your unusual services.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Fatter Lady May.
Speaker 11 (04:29):
My husband, the Earl of Dunkley Tatsborough, died three years ago.
The title and estate plane of geniture you know past
my oldest son, Gerald, Dear boy Gerald, very much like
his father, stuffy in a boor but a deer. Nevertheless,
six months ago Gerald met with an unfortunate shooting accident.
(04:52):
Partridge Partridge on the moors in the mist, who can't
see anything besides family. Is such a beastlish, detestable girl.
I never did like her, Pamela Jerald's wife, she shot him.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh, oh, that was indeed most unfortunate.
Speaker 11 (05:09):
So now the title and estate passed my son Bertrand
that's where you come in. I want you to find him.
He's lost, Oh, dear no, he's somewhere in this splendid
country of yours.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well it's quite a large country, you know. Well where
would I stop from him? That is, if I started
out to find him?
Speaker 7 (05:33):
Where?
Speaker 11 (05:34):
The last post I had from the dear boy was
from a place called Stinking Springs.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh, isn't it well, it narrows it down. That's in
the Hila River section.
Speaker 11 (05:46):
But that was over a year ago.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
A lady may was Berton what we call a remittance
man banished from home, living on an allowance.
Speaker 11 (05:55):
Banished is rather a harsh word, mister Palladin. And as
from Lowndes, Bertie is quite wealthy in his own right
from his godmother, the Dear Duchess. When he came to
this country, he had a deposit of fifty thousand pounds
to his credit in the Chase National Bank.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Of New York. But a quarter of a million dollars.
It's quite a sum, I.
Speaker 11 (06:16):
Must confess, mister Paladin. I was always inclined to favor Bertran.
He was a delicate child, mild manner, gentle. He grew
to be a fine man, but there was always conflict
with his father, who felt he was a weakling and
depende suppe who it seems a wise thing Bertie should
(06:39):
leave England.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Do you think he'll want to go back?
Speaker 11 (06:43):
He must. He is now the Earl of Duncley, Tatsborough.
He must take his rightful place. Yeah, this ring. Take
it to mister Paladin when you'll find him, and I
know you shall show it to him. He bears the
(07:03):
family crest. And if he should hesitate at all, say this.
See Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 11 (07:20):
Yes, he will understand. Here is his picture. It was
taken four years ago, just before he left England.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Goodness, let's see. I mean this is the right honorable Bertrand,
Earl of Dunkley, Tatsborough.
Speaker 11 (07:39):
Yes, poor dear, I'm proved so about it. He's going
so far away, feeling he was unwanted.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well, Lady May, he doesn't have to feel unwanted anymore.
He's wanted by the territories of Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas.
Speaker 11 (07:55):
Yeh, boy, whatever do you mean?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I hate to say this, but there's no mistake this picture.
This is bad Burt.
Speaker 11 (08:03):
That's Lord DERTRM taken four years ago.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
That is bad bert. He is known as a tough,
dangerous road agent. No, I'm sorry, Lady May.
Speaker 11 (08:18):
Tough, yes, dangers, yes, well, I wish his father could
hear that, bully for Bertie.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
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Speaker 1 (08:51):
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Speaker 2 (08:54):
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Now.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
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Speaker 1 (09:18):
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Speaker 2 (09:20):
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in your medicine cabinet.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I couldn't see much chance for success in locating the
Earl of Dunkley Tatsboro, alias bad Bert, since obviously the
combined law enforcement officers of all the Southwest had failed
in this endeavor. But Lady May had offered a handsome fee,
twinkled her eyes at me, and besides, I was curious.
I wondered why anyone with fifty thousand good, substantial English
(10:01):
pounds to draw on would bother to hold up a stage.
It was a search without much plan or direction, But
I started by looking in on my friend Truman Billings,
the sheriff of Navajo County. The walls of his office
were plastered with wanted posters, and among them I found
bad Burt. Well.
Speaker 12 (10:19):
Tell you the truth, Paladin, we don't know an awful
lot about that fella. He's a real baffling curse.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Why have you made any real effort to track him down.
Speaker 12 (10:26):
Oh, look at that wall, Paladin, Look at the wattage
we got. We have to do our work where we
get the most pressure. What do you mean by that, Well,
take these stagecoach robberies, the insured shipments that get held up,
payroll stuff like that. These we get pressure on. Those
insurance companies are on our tail every minute. There's Burt here.
(10:47):
He's lifted a lot of gold, but they was all
private shipments, none of it insured.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Just having to work out that way. He'd always worked
out that way.
Speaker 12 (10:56):
Yeah, same report from every place he's operated.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
But what about these prime parties who lost gold to Bert,
the people for whom the shipments were intended. Didn't any
of them ever apply any any pressure?
Speaker 12 (11:06):
No, not that I recall. I figure they must have
been folks passing through. Took it to something you got
to expect in this part of the country.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
All the talk I've heard about Burt makes him out
to be a pretty tough character. Was anyone ever killed
or injured in any of these hold upsoce? No, But
don't kid yourself. He ain't tough.
Speaker 12 (11:23):
He's got himself a gang of the worst outlaws in
the country. What's your interest in impelled.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I have a message for him.
Speaker 12 (11:31):
Oh you watch yourself if you ever run into him.
He's a bad one. I don't suppose you could tell
me what the message is.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I could, but you wouldn't believe it. Lady May had
given me a list of the postmarks and all the
letters Lord Bertram had written home to England in the
past four years, and I checked each town. Everyone seemed
to know fear and respect Bad Burt the road agent.
I discovered that he had become a sort of legendary character,
(12:02):
and the tales about him had grown with the tellings.
The road from Sofur Flats to heel A Bend was
a desolate one. I was the only passenger in the coach,
but a heavy chest was riding in the boot.
Speaker 11 (12:21):
It's here to hold of, mister, Come on get out.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Ah feels good to stretch my leg.
Speaker 9 (12:30):
Drop your gods, I drop it sure and watch yourself
and you won't get hurt.
Speaker 8 (12:36):
It's in the boot, boss.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Come on, hurry up, mister.
Speaker 9 (12:40):
It's here coach being robbed by Bad Bert, leader the
toughest gang in the West.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
That was very interesting. Why do you tell me that
boss has orders? Oh? Where's the boss way up there
on the hill.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, that's the boss.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
He got a spyglass. Then he doesn't actually take part
in these robbers.
Speaker 9 (12:57):
Oh he figured a mystery so far he done real good,
aren't you got it?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Boss?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
On the last move?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute. I've got something here
I want you to take to your boss.
Speaker 9 (13:08):
Get your hand out of that pocket.
Speaker 10 (13:09):
Get him.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well, well you get it. Then it's in my vest
pocket here at the ring for your boss or what
side there?
Speaker 9 (13:16):
You don't want no ring?
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I think he'll want this one. I take it to him.
It's in this pocket here.
Speaker 9 (13:24):
Oh yeah, uh oh.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
What's that? Boss?
Speaker 9 (13:30):
You seen me through that spyglass? See me reach in
your pocket. We ain't supposed to take nothing but gold.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
See he got some funny ideas well. You show him
that ring. He'll understand. And my name is Paladin. I'm
going to be at the King Hotel and he'll a bend.
Don't forget them.
Speaker 9 (13:46):
Oh, don't you forget this here, coach robbed by bad bird.
Speaker 8 (13:49):
Come on, boss, come on.
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Speaker 1 (14:53):
When the stage coach reached hil of Bend, I went
hi imediately to the freight office. I was anxious to
learn if the party who lost the ship and of
gold a bad Bert would be as disinterested as the others.
The gold had been addressed to Hobbes L. Puffer esquire.
The clerk had never heard of a gentleman. But then
I remember that Hobbs L. Puffer was the name of
(15:15):
a Cambridge cricket champion who had died three years ago.
That's when I ordered a telegram to the Chase National
Bank of New York, requesting an immediate reply. I checked
into the King Hotel and had a drink and dinner
and started back to the telegraph office. I was just
rounding the corner when I felt the gun at my back.
Speaker 9 (15:34):
Valid him who you He's gonna take a little trip,
Boss Wall see.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
You all right the first time going to step into
the telegraph office.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
You ardd me.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
You heard me? Yes?
Speaker 12 (15:56):
So what can they do for you?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
My name is Paladin. Did you get an answer to
my wire? Sure?
Speaker 13 (16:01):
Then it is already out, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
He get up, Come on, come on, come on. We
can't keep the boss waiting. As we followed the trail
that led over a mountain, I had a lot of
time to think about the message I'd received from the bank.
They confirmed what I guess I'd already known. Lord Bertrand
had been stealing from himself, orderinglishments of gold from his
(16:40):
account to be delivered in a fictitious name, then setting
up the hold up and splitting with his men. It
was almost daylight when we reached bad Birt's headquarters.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
There's quite a place you have here, Yes, some hide out. Indeed,
it is ie here door. This leads the drawing room.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Drawing room.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Well that's what the boss calls it. I can't figure
why everybody's waiting for you to get on it.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Well he is boss.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah, are you coming, mister Paladin Bert, nice place you
have here, Thank Joey. We like it or like a
fancy hunting lodge, and I hide out for thieves. Now,
don't bother with introductions. I recognize these boys from their pictures,
and your group certainly adds up to a tidy little
sum and reward money.
Speaker 9 (17:28):
He get an awful smart ball, and mister.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Paladin, we can do nicely without your trailer is I
brought to her simply to ask where did you get
this ring?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It was given to me along with a message for you, Missy. Well,
well come, man's the message. It's heavy. I think you'd
better send your men out.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
No, not at all, My companion's are men with me?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Now?
Speaker 5 (17:52):
Please?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Missy? All right, Bert, you asked for it. Mums needs
her twinkie boy.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Now what's that supposed to mean?
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Why you No, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 9 (18:07):
Mister ket Well, you can't stand still for that kind
of consultant talk.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
No, gentleman, I'm going to have to ask you to
leave the drawing room. After all, this is the matter.
I feel that I must settle myself add a boy ball.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Because he's too durned smart.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Come on, fellows, Well, mister Paladin, from your message, it
appears that my tenure here is over.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Oh you couldn't have held out much longer anyway. Even
fifty pounds doesn't last forever when you're cutting in practically
every outlaw on the frontier.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Oh but it was money well spent, mister Paladin.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You can't possibly imagine, I think I can, Lord Bertrand,
or should I say bad Bert? Oh yes, bad.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Bird boss wanted.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Oh well, if Moms needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 14 (19:23):
Those people come in to me and they say, oh,
told you were once a great chef, Because I am
now selling meat in my butcher shop. One sometimes forgets
I know lots about cooking me too, though, I'll let
you in on a little cooking secret of mine.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
French is w's the sheer sauce?
Speaker 8 (19:41):
Ah?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Only French is what's the shear has in it?
Speaker 14 (19:44):
A collection of spices the Germans know accentuates a good
flavor of meat. Frenches also has soy an chope's tamarinds.
I could go on and on, but.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
These things due to everyday food mouth watering nay. I
suggest you try this with pot roast at one tablespoon
franchist was this year to each cup of travy Ah.
Would you believe the difference with francis You really spark.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Up your meals and people will say, my goodness, but
you're a wonderful cook, just as they used to say
to me.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, I finished with this, miss long, you can take
the trade downstairs.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
I keep thinking all the time of this bad boot
you tell me about he really rough, he's on money,
and divide up with that man.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Well you understand, of course, miss wrong. The men didn't
know it was his money. They just figured he was
a pretty clever boss planning all those successful hold ups.
And naturally, in the custom among thieves, there had to
be a division of the spoils.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Very funny rough he's on money.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Well, Miss Wong. Bert was a meek little man, painfully
aware of his insignificant He desperately needed important fear a
big man, even if it cost him his inheritance.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
Oh plenty money to have that refutation.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Ah, but Bert had his day of glory. Now Lord Berton,
the Earl of Dunkley Tuxborough, is back in England, attending
to his estate where he'll live out his days. He
be forgotten, but mark you my words. The stories about
bad Bert will grow and be told and retold until
nobody will know where the truth leaves off and the
(21:30):
tall tales begin. But he'll be remembered.
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Oh oh brother, there's miserable cold and my sinuses.
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Speaker 1 (22:54):
Have Gun Will Trouble.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Created by Herb Meta and Sam raw Is pull Give Stand,
directed in Hollywood by Frank Palace, and stars John Dayner
as Twerdin, with Ben Wright as hey Boy and Virginia
Gregg as Miss warm Tonight's story was basically written for
Have Gone Will Travel by Ann Dows, featured in the
cast for Launch stopped in Bartlet Robinson, James Nusser and
(23:19):
Taggy Webber. This is Hugh Douglas inviting you to join
us again next week when CBS Radio presents Have Gun
Will Travel
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