May 6, 2025 • 36 mins
💡 Episode Summary
In this episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia Knego reflect on the power of persistence, the importance of asking questions, and how confidence builds over time — especially in challenging environments like law school. Olivia opens up about her experience navigating tough first semesters, learning to manage stress, and gaining strength from supportive professors who bring real-world expertise to the classroom.The conversation also explores why curiosity is a strength, not a weakness; how asking questions benefits not just you but those around you; and why building respectful, genuine relationships matters both in school and in life. Simone shares the inspiring story of the 6888th Central Postal Directory Battalion, the only all-Black female battalion during WWII, who proved the importance of standing up, using your voice, and believing in your mission. Together, they offer practical reminders on how to stay resilient and why speaking up helps move everyone forward.
🚀 Actionable Takeaways
📚 Preparation builds confidence — investing time in learning makes the final challenge easier.
🙋 Don’t be afraid to ask questions — your curiosity helps both you and the people around you.
👥 Genuine connections matter — respectful, caring relationships make growth possible.
💪 Persistence pays off — when things feel hard, remember that the only way to go is up.
🎤 Your voice has power — speaking up can create positive change for a whole group.📖Â
Chapters
00:00 – Overcoming Self-Doubt and Learning from Experience
08:10 – The Power of Supportive Mentors and Real-World Lessons
15:45 – Asking Questions, Respect, and Building Confidence
25:30 – Speaking Up for Others: Lessons from the 6888th Battalion
33:20 – Confidence Tip of the Week: Curiosity Is a StrengthConnect with Us
Don’t forget to subscribe to Her Unshakeable Confidence for more empowering stories and actionable insights. Leave us a review, share your favorite moments, and tag us on social media!
Take our new QUIZ and find out how much self-doubt is holding you back.
Subscribe to our exclusive email list and receive our downloadable, FREE GUIDE, Positive affirmations to Live Life Authentically
Click HERE to get your copy!
Order Simone’s Book
 Connect with Simone Knego:
In this episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia Knego reflect on the power of persistence, the importance of asking questions, and how confidence builds over time — especially in challenging environments like law school. Olivia opens up about her experience navigating tough first semesters, learning to manage stress, and gaining strength from supportive professors who bring real-world expertise to the classroom.The conversation also explores why curiosity is a strength, not a weakness; how asking questions benefits not just you but those around you; and why building respectful, genuine relationships matters both in school and in life. Simone shares the inspiring story of the 6888th Central Postal Directory Battalion, the only all-Black female battalion during WWII, who proved the importance of standing up, using your voice, and believing in your mission. Together, they offer practical reminders on how to stay resilient and why speaking up helps move everyone forward.
🚀 Actionable Takeaways
📚 Preparation builds confidence — investing time in learning makes the final challenge easier.
🙋 Don’t be afraid to ask questions — your curiosity helps both you and the people around you.
👥 Genuine connections matter — respectful, caring relationships make growth possible.
💪 Persistence pays off — when things feel hard, remember that the only way to go is up.
🎤 Your voice has power — speaking up can create positive change for a whole group.📖Â
Chapters
00:00 – Overcoming Self-Doubt and Learning from Experience
08:10 – The Power of Supportive Mentors and Real-World Lessons
15:45 – Asking Questions, Respect, and Building Confidence
25:30 – Speaking Up for Others: Lessons from the 6888th Battalion
33:20 – Confidence Tip of the Week: Curiosity Is a StrengthConnect with Us
Don’t forget to subscribe to Her Unshakeable Confidence for more empowering stories and actionable insights. Leave us a review, share your favorite moments, and tag us on social media!
Take our new QUIZ and find out how much self-doubt is holding you back.
Subscribe to our exclusive email list and receive our downloadable, FREE GUIDE, Positive affirmations to Live Life Authentically
Click HERE to get your copy!
Order Simone’s Book
 Connect with Simone Knego:
- Instagram: @simoneknego
- Facebook: @speakersimoneknego
- LinkedIn: simoneknego
- Website: www.simoneknego.com
- Book a free call with Simone
- Instagram: @oliviaknego
- LinkedIn:Â oliviaknego
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Imagine you're your boss or you're your teacher and you're
just droning on about something and no one's paying attention.
How disheartening is that no one's engaging, no one's asking questions.
Like imagine if you're a teacher and you actually catch
a mistake on the board and none of your students
would even like it's like a you know, a very
simple mistake like a math equation like two plus two
weekles five instead of four, and your students are so
(00:27):
not engaged that they wouldn't even catch that. I can't
imagine that feeling as like a teacher or a boss,
and just like talking to people who aren't engaged in
listening and actually care. So I think when you switch
it like that way, it's totally a great thing to
participate and be active in all settings because you make
other people feel hurt.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I think that for someone who as someone who was
a teacher for a bit that I appreciated the kids
who asked the questions and didn't.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Matter if they were like off target, right, It was the.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Idea that they were like, oh, oh my gosh, something
I said spurred something deep that now they're curious.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Welcome to her unshakeable confidence with dynamic mother daughter duo
Simone and Olivia Conego, where they discuss the secrets of
transformation and how to build bold confidence and unwavering resilience.
From intimate conversations with inspiring guests to sharing their personal
journeys of triumph and challenge, Simone and Olivia create a
supportive space where every woman is encouraged to rise above
(01:29):
her fears and love the woman in the mirror, tune
into her unshakeable confidence, and join this special journey of
connection and growth. It's like catching up with old friends
who inspire you to be bravely and uniquely.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You welcome to her unshakeable confidence. I'm Simone Canego.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
And I'm Olivia Knego, And.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Today Olivia has finished her first year of law school.
So we're going to like dive into that and see
your thoughts of putting herself out there doing all these things,
and let's see how it went.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah. I feel like the last couple of days, I've
been reminiscing a lot. I wrote a letter to my
friend that I need stilly descended sitting on my camera.
But I was talking about friendships a lot, and in
the last couple of weeks, honestly, the last couple of
months this spring semester. I have like now that I'm
solid in my like I have my close girlfriends here,
and I have my boyfriend here. I'm like very established. Now.
(02:25):
I've been trying to put myself out there into other
friend groups and social situations and it would be more
of a social butterfly. And I've had a good time
doing it. But one of the things that I wrote
in my letter is like I understand why my parents'
closest group of friends has been the same since I
was before I was born, and how it's the same now.
It's because it's gonna sound bad after all this hype up.
(02:46):
Some people really suck, but not a lot of them,
not all of them either, But it's it's hard to
like jump into friendship, I guess is the you know,
I just never know when someone's being genuine or not.
And I think that's a really big struggle for me
because I try to be very genuine in all of
(03:08):
my conversations. So like prime example is like if I'm
doing shitty at it in law school, I'm gonna own
up to it. And but like when other people say
that I don't know if they're lying or not, and.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Like trying to make them feel bad.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Yeah, trying to be sympathetic, but like I don't do
that when I have a subject. I'm like, yeah, I understand,
that's actually pretty fine, like I can help, or like yeah,
I am not getting.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
This, and where we go back again?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay, I don't even know what I was saying.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You were talking about the fact that you sorry, we
had to pause because we had a little microphone.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Ish she thinks my head's too big.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
No, I didn't see that. I mean you, well, earlier
I was like, your head's too small. My head's too big,
because we're not like now we're equal, like our heads
are the same.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
No, Okay, I know what I'm saying. Yeah, I think
that there's a lot of genuine people in the world,
and I think a lot of people are good. But
sometimes it's hard to like access that good right away,
and it makes the first couple of social situations really awkward.
And I'm not necessarily awkward, but it's like that was fun.
Are we going to do that again? Are we going
to be close friends? And so I think a lot
(04:08):
of people after like their first encounter with individuals are like, Okay,
well I did that, that was enough, right, But I
don't think it is. I'm realizing that friendship is more
like dating than I ever thought. It was, like you
don't know someone until the fifth or sixth date, maybe
third or fourth, depending on who you are, and so
it's like, yeah, as long as you vibe on the
first one, but you're like, oh, I'm not sure if
(04:29):
they is like an instant like where we'll be, Like
I say, continue going about that avenue, because at the
beginning of the semester, I did not have the same
level or like not level, but number of friends or
people that I would consider friends now that I did.
And it's honestly because I was like, you know what,
like I do like these people, and I want to
keep putting myself out there. But I think a lot
(04:51):
of people after the first time are like, oh, that
wasn't such a great first social encounter, Like I'm just
going to close myself off and try an next group.
But I really think social situations are like dat.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I think it's a really good point because that's why
networking events are so interesting, because we were like, Okay,
we're gonna go in and we're going to say who
we are and what we do?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Well, yeah, is that what really matters exactly?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And like that's like down the first level of friendship.
It's like okay, so like where were you raised? Where
did you go to college? You know, like what were
your friends like in undergrad? What do you like to
do in Nashville? And then like the second or third
time around, it's like okay, so like tell me about
your upbringing and like why you think this way? And
like tell me about like well, I don't actually get
into politics down here, but like you know, sometimes it's
(05:36):
like tell me how you voted or tell me why
you believe in this specific passion. And so I think
a lot of people have shy away after that first
like well, like they're in business or like they're in
stem and I'm in fashion. We could have nothing in common,
but like you don't. You wouldn't know that, Like hello, so.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
What if you got rid of that first level, first layer?
So it's interesting. So at my one of well I
do this now every time I speak, is I do
an exercise that I call erase, well, get rid of
the just, erase the just and not just, And like
is it just yeah, but the way we talk about ourselves, right,
(06:15):
because we say things in a certain way because we're
not sure who we're talking to, right, we're oh, yeah,
we're not ready to expose ourselves because oh what if
they judge us?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
So I think that is the most Like I think
everybody puts out a different elevator pitch of themselves. They
put in like quotes every time they talk to a
different person, and it's like sometimes when you're talking to
a specific group of people, you want to tone down
your accomplishments and you don't want to see at least
for me, it's like ooh, like I wonder if they'll
judge me because or think I am going to judge
(06:52):
them honestly because of like I have, this is my
third degree I'm getting or like some people it's like, yeah,
I need to affect flex on them because like I'm
as smart is then I can keep up.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
But do you think about it like that? Do you
think like, oh, I have three degrees?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
No? No, okay, I'm still in school for two more
years and people I just saw two people younger than
me buy a house. That's crazy, Okay, Okay, Like I'm
that's pure envy. For me, I am so jealous of that.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
To be well, you should be jealous. You should just
be like, wow, that's really cool. I mean it is
to aspire to, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It is something to aspire to. But like, no, I
don't think about it like that. But I think that
when we go into social situations, our brains are already
pre filled with any preconceptions that we might have about ourselves.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, and that's why we have to talk about ourselves differently.
So yeah, that's why I love this exercise because I
start with saying, like, because we justify our lives, right,
I'm yeah, I'm just this, I'm just that. I'm just
to stay at home mom, I'm just so and So's wife.
I'm you know, I'm just getting by, like whatever. It
is the way we talk about ourselves where it should be.
(07:59):
I am this is what I am. Right, you should
be proud of who we are. So I am a
law student, and you know, it's a struggle, like being
honest about it.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
It's nothing.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
See, there's nothing about our lives that are easy. And
I think that a lot of times people think, like, oh,
you're you know, you're the keynote speaker on stage. Well, yeah,
and I have so many struggles as well. But I
think the important part is that I share those struggles
so that people feel like, oh wait, oh no, okay,
I get it now, Like yeah, she's not up there
(08:29):
to say, oh I'm high and mighty. She's up there
to say, like, here's what I struggle with, here's what
I've done to move past that, Here's how I think
I can help you.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
And I think, at least in law school, because it's
this like weird intersection between like professional life and a
work life balance and then also like a social scene
because we are still in college. It's like, oh, we
have to act professional, but also like it's it's a
very weird dynamic, definitely different than anything I've ever done.
(08:59):
Because there are some people that I would see that's
totally fine. I find it boring too, And there were
some people that I would definitely see as though there
are my colleagues, like those are my colleagues, there's my peers.
We do not interact outside of the class. I'm not
in a bad way. It's not like anything against them.
It's just like, but there there are some like people
that are like, oh yeah, like she's a classmate of mine,
(09:20):
Like it's just in like that is such a difference.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
I don't know, but you're not going to be besties
with everyone.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I mean that has been time, a really long transition
year for me, and I have realized even that I
don't even care what people think about me, Like why
do I care besides my group of like twenty people
that I love and a door who cares well.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Because if you're worried about what anybody else thinks, you
can't be yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, And honestly, I've spent a lot of time this
because I'm not great in new social situations. Like looking
back in college, I was like, it wasn't this bad
in college, Yes it was. I wanted to transfer out
my entirety of my first year. I hated it, wanted
to leave so badly. And then I'm best friends. Yeah,
and I just like, I's so shit. Like I say
(10:07):
this to Emma too, because I'm a she started my
litt sister. She started her master's program like three months
after I started law school, maybe two months after I
started law school. So at like that point, I was
like already established a little bit in my friend group.
And one of the things I told her, I was like,
nothing that I say right now is going to stick
end for you. But like, all you need is that
one person. But like, I know how shitty that feeling
(10:30):
is right now, and I think like, once you get
that one person, you you keep getting worried of like, oh,
but like what do they think about me? That doesn't matter.
You know what matters in law school not even what
your professors think, because everything's great anonymously. What matters is
how you do in your interviews, how you gain respects
in the classroom, maybe even that how you do on
(10:50):
your exams, and that is those are things that are
pretty much solely up to you and not up to
other people's interpretations of you.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
And I'm going to take that a step further because
I think what really matters is how you.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Feel about yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
So if you're worried about what everybody else is thinking
and how you put yourself forward in the classroom, then
you can't feel good about yourself, right, You're too worry
about I have been.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That is one of the biggest things in the classroom.
I'm a question asker. I don't see the point this
song shouldy I'll still go to office hours, but like,
I am paying to be in that classroom. If we
have time, I am going to get my questions in
because why not, I'm paying to be there, and that's
what a classroom is for. Anyways, I had someone say
to me recently. They were like, actually, I'm really glad
you asked my questions because I get nervous in class
and like I always know that you're going to ask
(11:34):
the questions that I want. And I was like, Okay,
that was kind to here, But I do have this
internal debate every single time. I like try to limit
the questions I ask because I'm like, what, I'm so
worried about what someone will think if I ask one
more question?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Why does who cares what you think?
Speaker 1 (11:51):
What impact are they going to have in my life?
Because and I got told like, oh, but you need
to be kind and consider it's all your classrooms. I'm
not saying that. What I'm saying like that's a different
thing you but like one of the things was like
you need to be like considerate to your classmans and
worry about what they think because like like future job
opportunities that I've realized recently is a bullshit answer because
(12:11):
if you go into a workplace and they're looking to
hire someone and you're like, oh, I don't think so,
because they were a horrible person for like so and
so and so that's going to reflect poorly on you.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
So this is really interesting because I think a lot
of people struggle with this, with the idea of that
you can't speak out, you can't speak up because oh
my gosh, what will other people think? And Okay, I'm
gonna call it as bullshit because anybody who's judging you
for asking questions, yeah, I mean that's just ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, I mean, like, and I'm not gonna lie, Like
every law student knows that there's a question master in
the class. Surprisingly not me. Weird they questions. Yeah, people
that ask off topic or maybe very hypothetical related questions,
But like what that takes you like five minutes of
class time and I can like turn my brain off.
Like sometimes if they're really silly, I'll do a little
(13:02):
giggle like oh that made me laugh during class, And
then I'm like, why does it matter? She asked a
question that was relevant to her in a classroom that
she's paying to be in, where the teacher isn't really
like they build in time to all of our classroom sections.
And if they didn't, I've been told before asking after class,
So we don't have time for that right now. Like,
and that's an appropriate and that's a fine answer, but
(13:23):
a you shouldn't judge people for doing that and be like,
no one really cares.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
So let's expand this to the real world, because I mean,
obviously you're in a little bubble in law school right now. Yeah,
but I feel like this is a problem, oh out
to every.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I mean, let's profession take it to the corporate workspace. Yeah,
you know, if you can think about it as asking
questions to your boss on how to perfume improve your performance,
or like being willing to be like I think there's
a mistake in that, Like I don't think that's right,
And some people would be like, no, let me mind
my own business, you know what, Like I don't want
to interfere, But the better thing to do would be
(13:58):
to speak up or your questions so everything goes accordingly
and you don't have to start over.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
But we're taught this idea that when you speak up,
you're disruptive, and being disruptive disrupts flow. You know, it's
and yeah's ridiculous to me because if you see something
that needs fixed, you should be able to say, here's
how I think we could do things differently without feeling
bad about saying that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I am a disruptive human being. And I don't think
disruption is a bad thing. I think sometimes it can be,
you know, obviously not a great thing, especially in like
a quiet classroom setting. And I think, like obviously in
middle school and elementary school, very different scenarios where we're talking,
you're not just learning what you're learning, like in the lessons,
you're learning how to be an adult, but in terms
(14:46):
of like a class or like an upper level classroom,
or like a workplace. I why I don't understand the
point of being silent. And it's funny, like, you know,
not back in my day, you guys always used to
say when we would like two loud at the dinner table,
to be like, no, this is what DA would say.
Back in my day, kids were meant to be seen
and not heard. That is not how it was raised. No,
(15:08):
I was meant to be hard an scene.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yeah, and you know again with six kids at the table,
sometimes it got to be complete chaos because there wasn't
an idea of a queue. You guys just would shout
out shit and just don't.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Get me wrong. Definitely, something I'm working on actively is
making sure I like raise my hand in but like
in bigger classrooms, and like waiting my turn. I think
it's definitely something I have so progress to learn as
a twenty two year old. But I like disruption and
throwing things off isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's
(15:45):
correcting the course. I also wanted to like change the
perspective on it a little bit. Like imagine you're your
boss or you're your teacher and you're just droning on
about something and no one's paying attention. How disheartening is
that no one's engaging, no one's asking questions. Like imagine
if you're a teacher and you actually catch a mistake
on the board and none of your students would even
(16:06):
like a like a you know, very simple mistake like
a math equation like two plus two weekles five instead
of four, and your students are so not engaged that
they wouldn't even catch that. I can't imagine that feeling
as like a teacher or a boss and just like
talking to people who aren't engaged in listening and actually care.
So I think when you switch it like that way,
it's totally a great thing to participate and be active
(16:30):
in all settings because you make other people feel heard.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I think that for someone who as someone who was
a teacher for a bit that I appreciated the kids
who asked the questions and didn't matter if they were
like off target, right, it was the idea that they
were like, oh my gosh, something I said spurred something. Yeah,
that now they're curious, and curiosity is the most important
thing you can have, right, is to be able to
(16:56):
move forward and say, huh, I wonder why that is.
And U I mean again, in elementary school, it was
disruption based on you know, there's it wasn't like probably
a positive disruption, but again, disruption is disruption. Like you,
you want to make sure that every person is seen,
they feel seen, and they and they feel heard, because yeah,
(17:19):
your opinion matters no matter what it is. And the
problem is that we have been conditioned in our society
to basically not speak up because so we're so worried
about being judged. Oh yeah, And I think it's the
opposite of what needs to be happening at this point, I.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Think not that this ever matters like everyone's I don't
think I've ever not been told if I start a
sentence with a stupid question like this is a stupid
question and not be like there's no such thing as
stupid questions. I've always like, I don't think there's a
single time that I've ever been told that. But my
professor did give an anecdote one time about how they're
like almost near the end of the semester in class
(17:57):
and the student just asks like the most basic question
of how problems are set up, and it's like, can
you imagine like that understanding that you had, You didn't
understand how to do this for the entire semester, and
you just kind of almost wasted that time.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So ask the question, ask the question question, don't you know.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Such a stupid thing? Also, like I think that if
you're really worried about it, like chat DPT is like fine,
it'll give you the answer these days, but people prefer
when you engage in with them directly. I think it's
like a that's only is it good for you, but
it's like good for the person, it's good for your relationship.
With a person, like on a corporate level, like going
to your boss when there is an actual issue that
(18:34):
you're like, oh, I don't know about this, you know,
like let me double check it. Like that's the better response.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I think something that drives me crazy and that I've
seen so much and i'm and I'm sure I'm guilty
of it in my past.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Is that.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
So I kind of have a dumb question. Well, don't
start it like that question. You have a question, but
it's not dumb because you're you're curious. If you want
to know, ask the question, but don't.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Say, oh, it's a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
It's one thing again, what you've said is like if
the teacher has been teaching the same topic for like
the last thirty days and you're asking a question about
day one, like maybe you should go back and look
through your notes.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, And also like that's probably like a you know,
not for the entire classroom question, right.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Right, but the idea that we need to premise our
questions with.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
So this is a dumb question. I think this is
a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
One of my professors always why are you self? Yeah,
it was like why are you self reporting? Right now,
that's a good place, fair enough. Yeah, Like I feel
like maybe the only dumb.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Question is like the question you didn't ask.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Well, yeah, I was about to say, I can't even
think of I get done, Like.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
This is a question you didn't ask.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
If you if you're not willing to put yourself out
there and ask the question, like that in itself is
a failure because and again failures are stepping stones. So
I don't look at it like no from everything, gosh,
just put yourself out there and if you're curious, ask
the question.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
And if you think it's going to help someone else
as well, ask the question.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And I know, I think a lot of girls my
age and that are very similar and honestly, not even
my age, just women in general get told to. Like
I remember there were several times in my life where
I was given a limit on my amount of questions
or like oh you're too curious. Yeah, I got summer
camp and stuff like that, and it's like that's you. You
think those in the back of your head because you
(20:29):
have those moments, but like those are just people who
are impatient and not worthy of being educators or leaders.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Well they're there and they don't they're not willing to
put in their their the effort to do things, so
why are they even there?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, and I think that maybe a lot of those
experience haunt men and women, but I think of probably
women majority, just because that's how things end up and
they shouldn't, like, just because I think that we rely
so much on the negative experiences to fuel our perceptions
of the world rather than the positive experiences. Like I
(21:02):
think about that one moment where I was like, Okay,
no more questions did I like back in like third grade?
But how many times about law school have been like actually,
that was a really interesting and engaging question. Probably more
than ten, And I don't think about those ever.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
So, okay, you've you've finished your first year, which yay,
that's so exciting. So what are the what are the
top three things you think you learned from this year?
And what are the top three things you wish you
would have known before you started?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Known before I've started, I think is probably easier. Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I think the friendship thing is always a thing with you,
and I think that's true for so many people. I mean,
even Noah going off to college this summer. His biggest
concern is that he's not going to meet friends, and
that's like a killer. I think, like we live in
such a so crazy society right now. Everything is on
social media that that is face to face interaction.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Is really tough.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It's yeah, and I don't want to answer for you,
so give me your top three.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
No, the hardest or the things I'd known going in
is that, like I wish I had remembered how difficult
my freshman experience was in making friends and remember that,
like it takes time, Like it's not going to be instantaneous,
it takes time. Remember that not everyone you meet is
going to be your cup of tea, and that's okay,
(22:25):
but you still should be kind and considerate and respectful.
And I think that was a big thing to me
coming from New York, where it's very blue, very like
you know, mag is not even the in the name
to the South where I mean, especially in Nashville, the
views are very diverse here. So I think that's definitely
(22:47):
one of the things that like I had some biases
going in just because of my college experience and like
how I kind of you know, grew up in in
my early or late teens, early twenties, and that's sense
in New York. Oh, and that like the professors are
(23:08):
the most important part, and they are not just like
normal college professors that have because the college professors. So
I went from a very small high school where you
could have the most meaningful conversation with your high school teachers,
and then college. Okay, I don't think I know a
single one of my college professors. Now law school is
more like high school was. I know my professors. I
(23:31):
like dropped off thank you notes to them this semester.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Wait, I want to talk about that as soon as
you're done with this.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Oh okay, big deal.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, I know. I like I want to keep active conversations,
engaging with them. I like talking to things like outside
of like the law. Well, I mean all of it's
related to law, but like outside of just like the
content classroom. So I think if I had prioritized or
if I learned to prioritize, there or no more that like,
these people are actually here to help me, and they're
not just people that are trying to get paid, because
(23:58):
that's what college professors at the ones that like, some
of them were very genuine, but at the end of
the day, they have so many students versus in law school.
They did it. What was your other thing? You said,
three things that I know now.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Well, three things that you wish you had known, and
three things that you have three.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Things I've learned. Because I thought you would do differently.
I don't do anything differently. I've loved, if I reflect
on how like I've loved the journey throughout this Like,
I think it's been a lot of fun to see
what I know now. What I've learned is that it
is so much easier to study for finals when you
were studying every single day of the semester.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh look at that.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Ye I did not work that hard to see during
that final season, this final season, because every single day
every week in this semester, I spent like seven to
eight hours plus updating my study guides. So when it
came time to the actual exam, it was like boom
bing bong, like so easy that you're firs semester grades
don't defind you and that.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
And that's a huge one.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Where have I learned? Oh, the only way to go
is up? And that's what I keep telling my friends.
I was like objectively speaking, like when have you ever
done worse at something? The second time around that you tried.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, so for grades, like the only way for us
to go is up. We're all getting better at this.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I mean you're understanding what you're going through. You're
understanding the system. I mean it's a completely different system
than college than high school. And yeah, and what the
professors expect and what the professors are bringing to the table,
which I think.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Oh, and that is the most interesting part to me
is that like I had a professor this semester that
his career, he was the district attorney of Nashville for
thirty plus years. So when we would talk about some
of the criminal cases, he'd be like, yeah, I prosecuted
that one. That is insane, Like that is crazy. The
way that they can bring in their world world experiences.
(25:59):
I had a professor that did environmental law in San
Francisco and so a lot of our property classes when
we get into that, it was so cool to hear
the real life Okay, like this is what the textbook says,
but like in actuality, in the way we practice it.
This has pretty much been cut out of the law,
but you still have to learn it for these purposes.
And that is the most interesting part is that like
(26:19):
this is the first time that I'm okay learning to learn,
even though I know it won't most be won't be
the most practical in the real world. Which you wanted
to ask me about my thank you letters?
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, because so I always suck to thank you letters,
Like my parents were like, oh, you have to write
a handwritten thank you letter.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
And I suck at them too. By the way, it
took me seven months to do my thank yous for
my Bob minzvah. So this is not something I'm good at, however.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
But I love let me say before you get started,
I love getting a handwritten yeah, thank you letter. And
there was a guy who was the head of cabinet.
A guy there was the head of cabinet, and David Cassel.
He would always write a handwritten thank you note, and
that meant a lot. It means like he really cared.
(27:11):
He took the time to acknowledge something that I've done.
And it's more than just like thanks, great job, right
it is. It takes a lot. Now I can tell
you I will probably never never write handwritten thank you notes,
not because I don't want to, but because I feel like,
oh my gosh, there's so many other things to do.
(27:32):
But when you decide to take the time to do that,
I think that it's very powerful.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yeah, So I wrote one for two professors. One of
the professors is my advisor, and I honestly kind of
talked about this conversation. One of them helped me a
lot with my speaking abilities and like my confidence this semester,
and so I was like not just like this was
a great class, but it more of like when I
went into law school, like after the first semester, my
(27:57):
confidence was at an all time low, and because of
the experiencing opportunity you gave me, I have not been
able to like I feel like I'm doing good now.
And then one of them was like, I know I
ask a lot of questions, and thank you for being
appreciative and respectful every single time and answering all of
my questions completely, because like, yeah, I know I take
up a lot of time in class, like I know
(28:17):
I do, but like none of them have ever been
like rude about it, are like, oh, let's because you care. Yeah,
And I think like, well, it's it's nice to have
people that care about you and it's not just like oh,
what's the past right in my class? Is going to
be it's like I'm really struggling in this subject. Okay,
come see me after class, let's run through everything, or like,
(28:38):
I'm really confused. How I like this? How is this
going to play into the real world? If they're not
just limited to the classroom conversations. I can talk about
things like I'm so stressed for my future, let's talk
about it. And it feels more like high school, and
that a lot of things about law school feel like
high school. But that is like the most the best
part in my opinion about it is that the relationship
(29:00):
are so similar to what I had before when I was,
you know, a senior or a junior in school. And
it's just I don't know, it's really impactful to have
someone care about you like that when they have no
reason to.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
So how do we take this to the real world?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I mean, you live in a little bubble right now
because you're in law school. So like this same idea
of how we move forward in certain situations when you
know you're scared to ask the question you you don't, yeah,
like you're worthy, like all these different things. So what
do you think?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I think there is a lot of carryovers between you know,
where a world and the little bubble I'm in. I think,
like we say like every episode, but like just being
genuine is so important because when you're not genuine, and
this is what I was saying earlier, I can tell
and I don't necessarily want to be friends with you
because I can feel that you're not telling me exactly,
(29:52):
like I feel like there's a barrier up, and I
don't know if I wouldn't, like, you know, spend the
time to do that a lot of the times, and
it makes me feel like, oh, she must not want
to or he must not want to talk to me.
I'll move on, so I would remember that. And I
feel like if you just change your thinking to like,
(30:14):
what you're doing is helping others and it's not just
serving you, because I think a lot of people get
bogged down by the idea of like asking questions or
like speaking up because it's like, well, this is only
for me, but it's for not only like your colleagues
and your peers in that sense, but it's also for
your your boss or like you know, showing the speaker
the speech that you're at that you're super engaged or whatever,
(30:37):
or even like talking to your kids, Like show your
kids that you just listen to the presentation they practiced on.
You show your kids that, like you're keeping up with
their assignments and such by like just asking basic questions.
And I think the big takeaway from the professors is, like,
treat people the way you want to be treated. And
(30:57):
we were never I talk about my my friend Grace
and I we talked about this a lot about how
we weren't raised in a household that was like respect
your elders. It was like respect the people that give
you respect. Both of us were raised in that similar way.
And I'm not saying don't I'm saying, be distive, disrespectful
of the people that are disrespectful to you, but rather
(31:20):
be respectful to people so they're respectful to you back,
and you have this like mutual understanding of you know,
kindness and respect and like being a good.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Person and that that idea. So I watched a movie
the other night.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Okay, which movie?
Speaker 3 (31:35):
And it's called The six Triple eight.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Okay, So it's about the only black female battalion during
World War Two. So there's eight hundred fifty five of them,
and like they want to join the war they want
to make a difference for their country, and so they
(32:00):
finally get assigned to do male backlog. So there was
a backlog of like seventeen million pieces of mail. So
people back home weren't hearing from their kids who were
off to war, and their kids who were off to war.
We weren't getting letters of reassurance. So like morale was
at an all time low seventeen million pieces of mail,
(32:23):
it could have been even higher than that. Anyways, so
these women were assigned to do this. Now they came in,
they were put in like a shitty situation with an
old school, and they cleaned it up and they did
all the things and they were able to turn it around.
And they got so much negativity. So from the men
(32:45):
running the different again I know nothing about the army
of the military, but whatever, like the white men who
are running the stuff were basically telling them that they're worthless,
like they're not doing their job. And there was one
scene where the woman who was in charge of that battalion,
basically the one man said to her, like you suck.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Like you're getting.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
You're gonna be gone, Like you guys are all being
sent back. You're doing a shitty job, and she said
she gave this unbelievable speech about how no, they were
not gonna step down and they were not going to
be told this like it was like, and she stood
up for the eight hundred and fifty eight hundred and
(33:31):
fifty five women in that room saying that like, like
we are doing, we are working our asses off to
do this. And so he walks away and then she leaves,
and later they ask her to come back in the
room and nobody's working, and she's like, get back to work,
and they wouldn't get back to work, and so she
(33:51):
comes back, get back to work, and they're just all
standing there and finally she's standing there and they all
start clapping because she said what all of them wanted
to say, but she was their voice right like she
said it. And guess what. They cleared that backlog. They
were given six months to do the job. They cleared
(34:12):
it in three months, seventeen million pieces of mail where
people finally heard from their families and had that motivation
to kind of move forward. So anyways, those ideas of that,
when we're feeling like that, that was a really long story,
sorry because I should have had the details first. But
that idea when we're feeling like we can't move forward,
or we can't ask the question, or we can't speak up, like,
we have to speak up because we never know how
(34:34):
our voice can impact the people around you, and sometimes
the people around it around us need our voice to
be able to move forward. So I think we have
to remind ourselves of that all the time. That's my
two sons for the day.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Okay, I thought it was good.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Thank you. Okay, So confidence tip of the week.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Oh are you doing that? First? You want to do
my calendar first?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Oh, you can go first, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Confident people aren't afraid of at aren't afraid to ask questions.
Asking questions isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign
of self assurance. It means you care about getting it
right more than looking like you already know. So speak up,
raise your hand, and remember curiosity is a strength, not
a flaw. Oh again, mom, right, it's huge, Like, be curious,
(35:24):
ask the questions and don't worry about what anybody else
is thinking, because if they're judging you, then they're not
truly curious. And the point is to be able to
ask questions that help the people around you and to
help yourself.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
You're yawning now too. You know it's tired. It's tiring.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Okay, so it's not working now, but that's my quote
for today.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
So it's not working now. What you ask the questions?
That's what happens now.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, right, we get back on that horse.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I mean, you know, when when something falls apart, you
don't just say, oh I give up?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
You say how can I do it differently? What could
I do next? You ask the question so that you
can move forward. Amen, there we go.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Okay, So thank you for joining us on this week's
episode of Her Unshakable Confidence Albreas.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Remember you are unshakable. Bye, guys, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Thank you for listening to her Unshakable Confidence with Simone
and Olivia Canego.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
We hope this episode.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Has made your day just a little bit brighter and
giving you the inspiration you need to confidently go about
your week. Always remember to be authentically you don't forget
to like and subscribe so you never miss an episode,
and feel free to connect with them on Instagram at
Simone Canego and at Olivia Canego till next time.
Imagine you're your boss or you're your teacher and you're
just droning on about something and no one's paying attention.
How disheartening is that no one's engaging, no one's asking questions.
Like imagine if you're a teacher and you actually catch
a mistake on the board and none of your students
would even like it's like a you know, a very
simple mistake like a math equation like two plus two
weekles five instead of four, and your students are so
(00:27):
not engaged that they wouldn't even catch that. I can't
imagine that feeling as like a teacher or a boss,
and just like talking to people who aren't engaged in
listening and actually care. So I think when you switch
it like that way, it's totally a great thing to
participate and be active in all settings because you make
other people feel hurt.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I think that for someone who as someone who was
a teacher for a bit that I appreciated the kids
who asked the questions and didn't.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Matter if they were like off target, right, It was the.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Idea that they were like, oh, oh my gosh, something
I said spurred something deep that now they're curious.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Welcome to her unshakeable confidence with dynamic mother daughter duo
Simone and Olivia Conego, where they discuss the secrets of
transformation and how to build bold confidence and unwavering resilience.
From intimate conversations with inspiring guests to sharing their personal
journeys of triumph and challenge, Simone and Olivia create a
supportive space where every woman is encouraged to rise above
(01:29):
her fears and love the woman in the mirror, tune
into her unshakeable confidence, and join this special journey of
connection and growth. It's like catching up with old friends
who inspire you to be bravely and uniquely.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You welcome to her unshakeable confidence. I'm Simone Canego.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
And I'm Olivia Knego, And.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Today Olivia has finished her first year of law school.
So we're going to like dive into that and see
your thoughts of putting herself out there doing all these things,
and let's see how it went.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah. I feel like the last couple of days, I've
been reminiscing a lot. I wrote a letter to my
friend that I need stilly descended sitting on my camera.
But I was talking about friendships a lot, and in
the last couple of weeks, honestly, the last couple of
months this spring semester. I have like now that I'm
solid in my like I have my close girlfriends here,
and I have my boyfriend here. I'm like very established. Now.
(02:25):
I've been trying to put myself out there into other
friend groups and social situations and it would be more
of a social butterfly. And I've had a good time
doing it. But one of the things that I wrote
in my letter is like I understand why my parents'
closest group of friends has been the same since I
was before I was born, and how it's the same now.
It's because it's gonna sound bad after all this hype up.
(02:46):
Some people really suck, but not a lot of them,
not all of them either, But it's it's hard to
like jump into friendship, I guess is the you know,
I just never know when someone's being genuine or not.
And I think that's a really big struggle for me
because I try to be very genuine in all of
(03:08):
my conversations. So like prime example is like if I'm
doing shitty at it in law school, I'm gonna own
up to it. And but like when other people say
that I don't know if they're lying or not, and.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Like trying to make them feel bad.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Yeah, trying to be sympathetic, but like I don't do
that when I have a subject. I'm like, yeah, I understand,
that's actually pretty fine, like I can help, or like yeah,
I am not getting.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
This, and where we go back again?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay, I don't even know what I was saying.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You were talking about the fact that you sorry, we
had to pause because we had a little microphone.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Ish she thinks my head's too big.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
No, I didn't see that. I mean you, well, earlier
I was like, your head's too small. My head's too big,
because we're not like now we're equal, like our heads
are the same.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
No, Okay, I know what I'm saying. Yeah, I think
that there's a lot of genuine people in the world,
and I think a lot of people are good. But
sometimes it's hard to like access that good right away,
and it makes the first couple of social situations really awkward.
And I'm not necessarily awkward, but it's like that was fun.
Are we going to do that again? Are we going
to be close friends? And so I think a lot
(04:08):
of people after like their first encounter with individuals are like, Okay,
well I did that, that was enough, right, But I
don't think it is. I'm realizing that friendship is more
like dating than I ever thought. It was, like you
don't know someone until the fifth or sixth date, maybe
third or fourth, depending on who you are, and so
it's like, yeah, as long as you vibe on the
first one, but you're like, oh, I'm not sure if
(04:29):
they is like an instant like where we'll be, Like
I say, continue going about that avenue, because at the
beginning of the semester, I did not have the same
level or like not level, but number of friends or
people that I would consider friends now that I did.
And it's honestly because I was like, you know what,
like I do like these people, and I want to
keep putting myself out there. But I think a lot
(04:51):
of people after the first time are like, oh, that
wasn't such a great first social encounter, Like I'm just
going to close myself off and try an next group.
But I really think social situations are like dat.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I think it's a really good point because that's why
networking events are so interesting, because we were like, Okay,
we're gonna go in and we're going to say who
we are and what we do?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Well, yeah, is that what really matters exactly?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And like that's like down the first level of friendship.
It's like okay, so like where were you raised? Where
did you go to college? You know, like what were
your friends like in undergrad? What do you like to
do in Nashville? And then like the second or third
time around, it's like okay, so like tell me about
your upbringing and like why you think this way? And
like tell me about like well, I don't actually get
into politics down here, but like you know, sometimes it's
(05:36):
like tell me how you voted or tell me why
you believe in this specific passion. And so I think
a lot of people have shy away after that first
like well, like they're in business or like they're in
stem and I'm in fashion. We could have nothing in common,
but like you don't. You wouldn't know that, Like hello, so.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
What if you got rid of that first level, first layer?
So it's interesting. So at my one of well I
do this now every time I speak, is I do
an exercise that I call erase, well, get rid of
the just, erase the just and not just, And like
is it just yeah, but the way we talk about ourselves, right,
(06:15):
because we say things in a certain way because we're
not sure who we're talking to, right, we're oh, yeah,
we're not ready to expose ourselves because oh what if
they judge us?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
So I think that is the most Like I think
everybody puts out a different elevator pitch of themselves. They
put in like quotes every time they talk to a
different person, and it's like sometimes when you're talking to
a specific group of people, you want to tone down
your accomplishments and you don't want to see at least
for me, it's like ooh, like I wonder if they'll
judge me because or think I am going to judge
(06:52):
them honestly because of like I have, this is my
third degree I'm getting or like some people it's like, yeah,
I need to affect flex on them because like I'm
as smart is then I can keep up.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
But do you think about it like that? Do you
think like, oh, I have three degrees?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
No? No, okay, I'm still in school for two more
years and people I just saw two people younger than
me buy a house. That's crazy, Okay, Okay, Like I'm
that's pure envy. For me, I am so jealous of that.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
To be well, you should be jealous. You should just
be like, wow, that's really cool. I mean it is
to aspire to, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It is something to aspire to. But like, no, I
don't think about it like that. But I think that
when we go into social situations, our brains are already
pre filled with any preconceptions that we might have about ourselves.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, and that's why we have to talk about ourselves differently.
So yeah, that's why I love this exercise because I
start with saying, like, because we justify our lives, right,
I'm yeah, I'm just this, I'm just that. I'm just
to stay at home mom, I'm just so and So's wife.
I'm you know, I'm just getting by, like whatever. It
is the way we talk about ourselves where it should be.
(07:59):
I am this is what I am. Right, you should
be proud of who we are. So I am a
law student, and you know, it's a struggle, like being
honest about it.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
It's nothing.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
See, there's nothing about our lives that are easy. And
I think that a lot of times people think, like, oh,
you're you know, you're the keynote speaker on stage. Well, yeah,
and I have so many struggles as well. But I
think the important part is that I share those struggles
so that people feel like, oh wait, oh no, okay,
I get it now, Like yeah, she's not up there
(08:29):
to say, oh I'm high and mighty. She's up there
to say, like, here's what I struggle with, here's what
I've done to move past that, Here's how I think
I can help you.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
And I think, at least in law school, because it's
this like weird intersection between like professional life and a
work life balance and then also like a social scene
because we are still in college. It's like, oh, we
have to act professional, but also like it's it's a
very weird dynamic, definitely different than anything I've ever done.
(08:59):
Because there are some people that I would see that's
totally fine. I find it boring too, And there were
some people that I would definitely see as though there
are my colleagues, like those are my colleagues, there's my peers.
We do not interact outside of the class. I'm not
in a bad way. It's not like anything against them.
It's just like, but there there are some like people
that are like, oh yeah, like she's a classmate of mine,
(09:20):
Like it's just in like that is such a difference.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
I don't know, but you're not going to be besties
with everyone.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I mean that has been time, a really long transition
year for me, and I have realized even that I
don't even care what people think about me, Like why
do I care besides my group of like twenty people
that I love and a door who cares well.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Because if you're worried about what anybody else thinks, you
can't be yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, And honestly, I've spent a lot of time this
because I'm not great in new social situations. Like looking
back in college, I was like, it wasn't this bad
in college, Yes it was. I wanted to transfer out
my entirety of my first year. I hated it, wanted
to leave so badly. And then I'm best friends. Yeah,
and I just like, I's so shit. Like I say
(10:07):
this to Emma too, because I'm a she started my
litt sister. She started her master's program like three months
after I started law school, maybe two months after I
started law school. So at like that point, I was
like already established a little bit in my friend group.
And one of the things I told her, I was like,
nothing that I say right now is going to stick
end for you. But like, all you need is that
one person. But like, I know how shitty that feeling
(10:30):
is right now, and I think like, once you get
that one person, you you keep getting worried of like, oh,
but like what do they think about me? That doesn't matter.
You know what matters in law school not even what
your professors think, because everything's great anonymously. What matters is
how you do in your interviews, how you gain respects
in the classroom, maybe even that how you do on
(10:50):
your exams, and that is those are things that are
pretty much solely up to you and not up to
other people's interpretations of you.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
And I'm going to take that a step further because
I think what really matters is how you.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Feel about yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
So if you're worried about what everybody else is thinking
and how you put yourself forward in the classroom, then
you can't feel good about yourself, right, You're too worry
about I have been.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That is one of the biggest things in the classroom.
I'm a question asker. I don't see the point this
song shouldy I'll still go to office hours, but like,
I am paying to be in that classroom. If we
have time, I am going to get my questions in
because why not, I'm paying to be there, and that's
what a classroom is for. Anyways, I had someone say
to me recently. They were like, actually, I'm really glad
you asked my questions because I get nervous in class
and like I always know that you're going to ask
(11:34):
the questions that I want. And I was like, Okay,
that was kind to here, But I do have this
internal debate every single time. I like try to limit
the questions I ask because I'm like, what, I'm so
worried about what someone will think if I ask one
more question?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Why does who cares what you think?
Speaker 1 (11:51):
What impact are they going to have in my life?
Because and I got told like, oh, but you need
to be kind and consider it's all your classrooms. I'm
not saying that. What I'm saying like that's a different
thing you but like one of the things was like
you need to be like considerate to your classmans and
worry about what they think because like like future job
opportunities that I've realized recently is a bullshit answer because
(12:11):
if you go into a workplace and they're looking to
hire someone and you're like, oh, I don't think so,
because they were a horrible person for like so and
so and so that's going to reflect poorly on you.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
So this is really interesting because I think a lot
of people struggle with this, with the idea of that
you can't speak out, you can't speak up because oh
my gosh, what will other people think? And Okay, I'm
gonna call it as bullshit because anybody who's judging you
for asking questions, yeah, I mean that's just ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, I mean, like, and I'm not gonna lie, Like
every law student knows that there's a question master in
the class. Surprisingly not me. Weird they questions. Yeah, people
that ask off topic or maybe very hypothetical related questions,
But like what that takes you like five minutes of
class time and I can like turn my brain off.
Like sometimes if they're really silly, I'll do a little
(13:02):
giggle like oh that made me laugh during class, And
then I'm like, why does it matter? She asked a
question that was relevant to her in a classroom that
she's paying to be in, where the teacher isn't really
like they build in time to all of our classroom sections.
And if they didn't, I've been told before asking after class,
So we don't have time for that right now. Like,
and that's an appropriate and that's a fine answer, but
(13:23):
a you shouldn't judge people for doing that and be like,
no one really cares.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
So let's expand this to the real world, because I mean,
obviously you're in a little bubble in law school right now. Yeah,
but I feel like this is a problem, oh out
to every.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I mean, let's profession take it to the corporate workspace. Yeah,
you know, if you can think about it as asking
questions to your boss on how to perfume improve your performance,
or like being willing to be like I think there's
a mistake in that, Like I don't think that's right,
And some people would be like, no, let me mind
my own business, you know what, Like I don't want
to interfere, But the better thing to do would be
(13:58):
to speak up or your questions so everything goes accordingly
and you don't have to start over.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
But we're taught this idea that when you speak up,
you're disruptive, and being disruptive disrupts flow. You know, it's
and yeah's ridiculous to me because if you see something
that needs fixed, you should be able to say, here's
how I think we could do things differently without feeling
bad about saying that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I am a disruptive human being. And I don't think
disruption is a bad thing. I think sometimes it can be,
you know, obviously not a great thing, especially in like
a quiet classroom setting. And I think, like obviously in
middle school and elementary school, very different scenarios where we're talking,
you're not just learning what you're learning, like in the lessons,
you're learning how to be an adult, but in terms
(14:46):
of like a class or like an upper level classroom,
or like a workplace. I why I don't understand the
point of being silent. And it's funny, like, you know,
not back in my day, you guys always used to
say when we would like two loud at the dinner table,
to be like, no, this is what DA would say.
Back in my day, kids were meant to be seen
and not heard. That is not how it was raised. No,
(15:08):
I was meant to be hard an scene.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yeah, and you know again with six kids at the table,
sometimes it got to be complete chaos because there wasn't
an idea of a queue. You guys just would shout
out shit and just don't.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Get me wrong. Definitely, something I'm working on actively is
making sure I like raise my hand in but like
in bigger classrooms, and like waiting my turn. I think
it's definitely something I have so progress to learn as
a twenty two year old. But I like disruption and
throwing things off isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's
(15:45):
correcting the course. I also wanted to like change the
perspective on it a little bit. Like imagine you're your
boss or you're your teacher and you're just droning on
about something and no one's paying attention. How disheartening is
that no one's engaging, no one's asking questions. Like imagine
if you're a teacher and you actually catch a mistake
on the board and none of your students would even
(16:06):
like a like a you know, very simple mistake like
a math equation like two plus two weekles five instead
of four, and your students are so not engaged that
they wouldn't even catch that. I can't imagine that feeling
as like a teacher or a boss and just like
talking to people who aren't engaged in listening and actually care.
So I think when you switch it like that way,
it's totally a great thing to participate and be active
(16:30):
in all settings because you make other people feel heard.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I think that for someone who as someone who was
a teacher for a bit that I appreciated the kids
who asked the questions and didn't matter if they were
like off target, right, it was the idea that they
were like, oh my gosh, something I said spurred something. Yeah,
that now they're curious, and curiosity is the most important
thing you can have, right, is to be able to
(16:56):
move forward and say, huh, I wonder why that is.
And U I mean again, in elementary school, it was
disruption based on you know, there's it wasn't like probably
a positive disruption, but again, disruption is disruption. Like you,
you want to make sure that every person is seen,
they feel seen, and they and they feel heard, because yeah,
(17:19):
your opinion matters no matter what it is. And the
problem is that we have been conditioned in our society
to basically not speak up because so we're so worried
about being judged. Oh yeah, And I think it's the
opposite of what needs to be happening at this point, I.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Think not that this ever matters like everyone's I don't
think I've ever not been told if I start a
sentence with a stupid question like this is a stupid
question and not be like there's no such thing as
stupid questions. I've always like, I don't think there's a
single time that I've ever been told that. But my
professor did give an anecdote one time about how they're
like almost near the end of the semester in class
(17:57):
and the student just asks like the most basic question
of how problems are set up, and it's like, can
you imagine like that understanding that you had, You didn't
understand how to do this for the entire semester, and
you just kind of almost wasted that time.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So ask the question, ask the question question, don't you know.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Such a stupid thing? Also, like I think that if
you're really worried about it, like chat DPT is like fine,
it'll give you the answer these days, but people prefer
when you engage in with them directly. I think it's
like a that's only is it good for you, but
it's like good for the person, it's good for your relationship.
With a person, like on a corporate level, like going
to your boss when there is an actual issue that
(18:34):
you're like, oh, I don't know about this, you know,
like let me double check it. Like that's the better response.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I think something that drives me crazy and that I've
seen so much and i'm and I'm sure I'm guilty
of it in my past.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Is that.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
So I kind of have a dumb question. Well, don't
start it like that question. You have a question, but
it's not dumb because you're you're curious. If you want
to know, ask the question, but don't.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Say, oh, it's a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
It's one thing again, what you've said is like if
the teacher has been teaching the same topic for like
the last thirty days and you're asking a question about
day one, like maybe you should go back and look
through your notes.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, And also like that's probably like a you know,
not for the entire classroom question, right.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Right, but the idea that we need to premise our
questions with.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
So this is a dumb question. I think this is
a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
One of my professors always why are you self? Yeah,
it was like why are you self reporting? Right now,
that's a good place, fair enough. Yeah, Like I feel
like maybe the only dumb.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Question is like the question you didn't ask.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Well, yeah, I was about to say, I can't even
think of I get done, Like.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
This is a question you didn't ask.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
If you if you're not willing to put yourself out
there and ask the question, like that in itself is
a failure because and again failures are stepping stones. So
I don't look at it like no from everything, gosh,
just put yourself out there and if you're curious, ask
the question.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
And if you think it's going to help someone else
as well, ask the question.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And I know, I think a lot of girls my
age and that are very similar and honestly, not even
my age, just women in general get told to. Like
I remember there were several times in my life where
I was given a limit on my amount of questions
or like oh you're too curious. Yeah, I got summer
camp and stuff like that, and it's like that's you. You
think those in the back of your head because you
(20:29):
have those moments, but like those are just people who
are impatient and not worthy of being educators or leaders.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Well they're there and they don't they're not willing to
put in their their the effort to do things, so
why are they even there?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, and I think that maybe a lot of those
experience haunt men and women, but I think of probably
women majority, just because that's how things end up and
they shouldn't, like, just because I think that we rely
so much on the negative experiences to fuel our perceptions
of the world rather than the positive experiences. Like I
(21:02):
think about that one moment where I was like, Okay,
no more questions did I like back in like third grade?
But how many times about law school have been like actually,
that was a really interesting and engaging question. Probably more
than ten, And I don't think about those ever.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
So, okay, you've you've finished your first year, which yay,
that's so exciting. So what are the what are the
top three things you think you learned from this year?
And what are the top three things you wish you
would have known before you started?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Known before I've started, I think is probably easier. Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I think the friendship thing is always a thing with you,
and I think that's true for so many people. I mean,
even Noah going off to college this summer. His biggest
concern is that he's not going to meet friends, and
that's like a killer. I think, like we live in
such a so crazy society right now. Everything is on
social media that that is face to face interaction.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Is really tough.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It's yeah, and I don't want to answer for you,
so give me your top three.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
No, the hardest or the things I'd known going in
is that, like I wish I had remembered how difficult
my freshman experience was in making friends and remember that,
like it takes time, Like it's not going to be instantaneous,
it takes time. Remember that not everyone you meet is
going to be your cup of tea, and that's okay,
(22:25):
but you still should be kind and considerate and respectful.
And I think that was a big thing to me
coming from New York, where it's very blue, very like
you know, mag is not even the in the name
to the South where I mean, especially in Nashville, the
views are very diverse here. So I think that's definitely
(22:47):
one of the things that like I had some biases
going in just because of my college experience and like
how I kind of you know, grew up in in
my early or late teens, early twenties, and that's sense
in New York. Oh, and that like the professors are
(23:08):
the most important part, and they are not just like
normal college professors that have because the college professors. So
I went from a very small high school where you
could have the most meaningful conversation with your high school teachers,
and then college. Okay, I don't think I know a
single one of my college professors. Now law school is
more like high school was. I know my professors. I
(23:31):
like dropped off thank you notes to them this semester.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Wait, I want to talk about that as soon as
you're done with this.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Oh okay, big deal.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, I know. I like I want to keep active conversations,
engaging with them. I like talking to things like outside
of like the law. Well, I mean all of it's
related to law, but like outside of just like the
content classroom. So I think if I had prioritized or
if I learned to prioritize, there or no more that like,
these people are actually here to help me, and they're
not just people that are trying to get paid, because
(23:58):
that's what college professors at the ones that like, some
of them were very genuine, but at the end of
the day, they have so many students versus in law school.
They did it. What was your other thing? You said,
three things that I know now.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Well, three things that you wish you had known, and
three things that you have three.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Things I've learned. Because I thought you would do differently.
I don't do anything differently. I've loved, if I reflect
on how like I've loved the journey throughout this Like,
I think it's been a lot of fun to see
what I know now. What I've learned is that it
is so much easier to study for finals when you
were studying every single day of the semester.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh look at that.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Ye I did not work that hard to see during
that final season, this final season, because every single day
every week in this semester, I spent like seven to
eight hours plus updating my study guides. So when it
came time to the actual exam, it was like boom
bing bong, like so easy that you're firs semester grades
don't defind you and that.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
And that's a huge one.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Where have I learned? Oh, the only way to go
is up? And that's what I keep telling my friends.
I was like objectively speaking, like when have you ever
done worse at something? The second time around that you tried.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, so for grades, like the only way for us
to go is up. We're all getting better at this.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I mean you're understanding what you're going through. You're
understanding the system. I mean it's a completely different system
than college than high school. And yeah, and what the
professors expect and what the professors are bringing to the table,
which I think.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Oh, and that is the most interesting part to me
is that like I had a professor this semester that
his career, he was the district attorney of Nashville for
thirty plus years. So when we would talk about some
of the criminal cases, he'd be like, yeah, I prosecuted
that one. That is insane, Like that is crazy. The
way that they can bring in their world world experiences.
(25:59):
I had a professor that did environmental law in San
Francisco and so a lot of our property classes when
we get into that, it was so cool to hear
the real life Okay, like this is what the textbook says,
but like in actuality, in the way we practice it.
This has pretty much been cut out of the law,
but you still have to learn it for these purposes.
And that is the most interesting part is that like
(26:19):
this is the first time that I'm okay learning to learn,
even though I know it won't most be won't be
the most practical in the real world. Which you wanted
to ask me about my thank you letters?
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, because so I always suck to thank you letters,
Like my parents were like, oh, you have to write
a handwritten thank you letter.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
And I suck at them too. By the way, it
took me seven months to do my thank yous for
my Bob minzvah. So this is not something I'm good at, however.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
But I love let me say before you get started,
I love getting a handwritten yeah, thank you letter. And
there was a guy who was the head of cabinet.
A guy there was the head of cabinet, and David Cassel.
He would always write a handwritten thank you note, and
that meant a lot. It means like he really cared.
(27:11):
He took the time to acknowledge something that I've done.
And it's more than just like thanks, great job, right
it is. It takes a lot. Now I can tell
you I will probably never never write handwritten thank you notes,
not because I don't want to, but because I feel like,
oh my gosh, there's so many other things to do.
(27:32):
But when you decide to take the time to do that,
I think that it's very powerful.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yeah, So I wrote one for two professors. One of
the professors is my advisor, and I honestly kind of
talked about this conversation. One of them helped me a
lot with my speaking abilities and like my confidence this semester,
and so I was like not just like this was
a great class, but it more of like when I
went into law school, like after the first semester, my
(27:57):
confidence was at an all time low, and because of
the experiencing opportunity you gave me, I have not been
able to like I feel like I'm doing good now.
And then one of them was like, I know I
ask a lot of questions, and thank you for being
appreciative and respectful every single time and answering all of
my questions completely, because like, yeah, I know I take
up a lot of time in class, like I know
(28:17):
I do, but like none of them have ever been
like rude about it, are like, oh, let's because you care. Yeah,
And I think like, well, it's it's nice to have
people that care about you and it's not just like oh,
what's the past right in my class? Is going to
be it's like I'm really struggling in this subject. Okay,
come see me after class, let's run through everything, or like,
(28:38):
I'm really confused. How I like this? How is this
going to play into the real world? If they're not
just limited to the classroom conversations. I can talk about
things like I'm so stressed for my future, let's talk
about it. And it feels more like high school, and
that a lot of things about law school feel like
high school. But that is like the most the best
part in my opinion about it is that the relationship
(29:00):
are so similar to what I had before when I was,
you know, a senior or a junior in school. And
it's just I don't know, it's really impactful to have
someone care about you like that when they have no
reason to.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
So how do we take this to the real world?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I mean, you live in a little bubble right now
because you're in law school. So like this same idea
of how we move forward in certain situations when you
know you're scared to ask the question you you don't, yeah,
like you're worthy, like all these different things. So what
do you think?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I think there is a lot of carryovers between you know,
where a world and the little bubble I'm in. I think,
like we say like every episode, but like just being
genuine is so important because when you're not genuine, and
this is what I was saying earlier, I can tell
and I don't necessarily want to be friends with you
because I can feel that you're not telling me exactly,
(29:52):
like I feel like there's a barrier up, and I
don't know if I wouldn't, like, you know, spend the
time to do that a lot of the times, and
it makes me feel like, oh, she must not want
to or he must not want to talk to me.
I'll move on, so I would remember that. And I
feel like if you just change your thinking to like,
(30:14):
what you're doing is helping others and it's not just
serving you, because I think a lot of people get
bogged down by the idea of like asking questions or
like speaking up because it's like, well, this is only
for me, but it's for not only like your colleagues
and your peers in that sense, but it's also for
your your boss or like you know, showing the speaker
the speech that you're at that you're super engaged or whatever,
(30:37):
or even like talking to your kids, Like show your
kids that you just listen to the presentation they practiced on.
You show your kids that, like you're keeping up with
their assignments and such by like just asking basic questions.
And I think the big takeaway from the professors is, like,
treat people the way you want to be treated. And
(30:57):
we were never I talk about my my friend Grace
and I we talked about this a lot about how
we weren't raised in a household that was like respect
your elders. It was like respect the people that give
you respect. Both of us were raised in that similar way.
And I'm not saying don't I'm saying, be distive, disrespectful
of the people that are disrespectful to you, but rather
(31:20):
be respectful to people so they're respectful to you back,
and you have this like mutual understanding of you know,
kindness and respect and like being a good.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Person and that that idea. So I watched a movie
the other night.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Okay, which movie?
Speaker 3 (31:35):
And it's called The six Triple eight.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Okay, So it's about the only black female battalion during
World War Two. So there's eight hundred fifty five of them,
and like they want to join the war they want
to make a difference for their country, and so they
(32:00):
finally get assigned to do male backlog. So there was
a backlog of like seventeen million pieces of mail. So
people back home weren't hearing from their kids who were
off to war, and their kids who were off to war.
We weren't getting letters of reassurance. So like morale was
at an all time low seventeen million pieces of mail,
(32:23):
it could have been even higher than that. Anyways, so
these women were assigned to do this. Now they came in,
they were put in like a shitty situation with an
old school, and they cleaned it up and they did
all the things and they were able to turn it around.
And they got so much negativity. So from the men
(32:45):
running the different again I know nothing about the army
of the military, but whatever, like the white men who
are running the stuff were basically telling them that they're worthless,
like they're not doing their job. And there was one
scene where the woman who was in charge of that battalion,
basically the one man said to her, like you suck.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Like you're getting.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
You're gonna be gone, Like you guys are all being
sent back. You're doing a shitty job, and she said
she gave this unbelievable speech about how no, they were
not gonna step down and they were not going to
be told this like it was like, and she stood
up for the eight hundred and fifty eight hundred and
(33:31):
fifty five women in that room saying that like, like
we are doing, we are working our asses off to
do this. And so he walks away and then she leaves,
and later they ask her to come back in the
room and nobody's working, and she's like, get back to work,
and they wouldn't get back to work, and so she
(33:51):
comes back, get back to work, and they're just all
standing there and finally she's standing there and they all
start clapping because she said what all of them wanted
to say, but she was their voice right like she
said it. And guess what. They cleared that backlog. They
were given six months to do the job. They cleared
(34:12):
it in three months, seventeen million pieces of mail where
people finally heard from their families and had that motivation
to kind of move forward. So anyways, those ideas of that,
when we're feeling like that, that was a really long story,
sorry because I should have had the details first. But
that idea when we're feeling like we can't move forward,
or we can't ask the question, or we can't speak up, like,
we have to speak up because we never know how
(34:34):
our voice can impact the people around you, and sometimes
the people around it around us need our voice to
be able to move forward. So I think we have
to remind ourselves of that all the time. That's my
two sons for the day.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Okay, I thought it was good.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Thank you. Okay, So confidence tip of the week.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Oh are you doing that? First? You want to do
my calendar first?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Oh, you can go first, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Confident people aren't afraid of at aren't afraid to ask questions.
Asking questions isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign
of self assurance. It means you care about getting it
right more than looking like you already know. So speak up,
raise your hand, and remember curiosity is a strength, not
a flaw. Oh again, mom, right, it's huge, Like, be curious,
(35:24):
ask the questions and don't worry about what anybody else
is thinking, because if they're judging you, then they're not
truly curious. And the point is to be able to
ask questions that help the people around you and to
help yourself.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
You're yawning now too. You know it's tired. It's tiring.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Okay, so it's not working now, but that's my quote
for today.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
So it's not working now. What you ask the questions?
That's what happens now.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, right, we get back on that horse.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I mean, you know, when when something falls apart, you
don't just say, oh I give up?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
You say how can I do it differently? What could
I do next? You ask the question so that you
can move forward. Amen, there we go.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Okay, So thank you for joining us on this week's
episode of Her Unshakable Confidence Albreas.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Remember you are unshakable. Bye, guys, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Thank you for listening to her Unshakable Confidence with Simone
and Olivia Canego.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
We hope this episode.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Has made your day just a little bit brighter and
giving you the inspiration you need to confidently go about
your week. Always remember to be authentically you don't forget
to like and subscribe so you never miss an episode,
and feel free to connect with them on Instagram at
Simone Canego and at Olivia Canego till next time.
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