A Journey of Matchmaking Disappointment While Abstaining: A Personal Recount

Hiya my beautiful loving souls,

  I hope that I find you well and that all is well. 
I don't know if anyone would be able to relate with my matcmaking fails' stories but mines seem to gravitate around lying unfaithful men. I don't know if there are the only pull available out there but this have been part of my experience.
Please do not let me stand alone in this, and only if you feel courageous, let me and everyone else know about your experiences. Men, it could also be about your unfaithful women's encounters. 

It is about time to shed light on the darkness and stand together as a unity, a Church to overcome this plague. Shall we?


One love, 



PODCAST SHOUTOUTS

Grateful for:

Elohim, The Almighty, The One and Only, for Being.
Leonard Tshiks, my dad for amazing me with his intro and outro original compositions.
Ruth Tshiks, my sis for creating this wonderful logo through her great patience and talent.

Special thanks to Pixabay artists soundtracks:


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SOFRA—Background Village Marimba
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Lesfm--Emotional Piano Sad Background Music For Videos



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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome to Here is Eden, the space where there is peace, innocence, growth,
and joy. You may now leave your fear, your judgment
and murmur at the game disclaimer.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
The atmosphere you're about to enter will suscitate questioning, opinions, conversation, thinking,
growth or not. Be informed that what you're about to
hear is not from an expert, and remember that the
great it is specialist. An expert that there is is
Elohim himself. Now, if you may, let's get comfortable and enjoy.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
I am a beautiful loving souls. How's your life has work?
How's your relationship with God? How's your family? But most importantly,
how are you doing? I hope you are doing fine,
and if you do not, as I always say, do
not despair, as it is just a season and that
there will be brighter days coming. As for me, I

(01:34):
am doing great. Every time you hear me, that means
I give grace to God because I'm alive and God
has given me the strength to keep on going. So,
for those of you who do not know me, my
name is Rita aka Babyface, and I want to welcome
you to this podcast. That is here is hidden. So

(01:56):
if you are a regular listener, I want to say yes.
If you are a new listener, wuck yes. Welcome to
Hero's Eden podcast, which mission is to serve and respond
to the needs of Christian celebate and where we also

(02:17):
speak about relationship in general. My prayer for you is
that you find anything within what will be discussed, and
that so together we enjoy, we grow, and we learn.
So if you are a regular, before I can keep
on going, I just want to give grace to my Father, Father, God.

(02:38):
I just want to say thank you, thank you for
everything you do, everything you have not yet accomplished, and
just thank you for being my Lord. As I always say,
you are worthy our God and Lord to receive glory, honor,
and power. For you Father created all things, and by

(02:58):
your will they will created and have there being. Amen. Amen,
let's go, my people. Welcome. Where to start? In today's

(03:22):
the end age, dating seems to be a struggle. To
be honest, I really don't know what has changed so much. Well, nah,
that's kind of incorrect for me to say. I kind
of do, but I believe I'm just such in shock
and discourage to see how bad the dating scene has become,
especially when you're thirty and up. Sometimes I wonder if

(03:45):
there's an algorithm on dating websites that pushes the unmatched
together so they keep hanging on the hope that the
next date might be the one. But yet six months,
two years or more later, you still veryly single as pringle.
I just hope you don't stay there for more than

(04:06):
a year, because at this point it appears to be
like a money trapped to me. But hey, that's just me.
Of course, I'm not saying that it's a fail. It's
a complete fail. You still have some successful stories of
people who met onlines. Myself, I know a few. I'm
not here discrediting dating websites, but more so wondering what

(04:28):
has happened in our society to make finding your soulmates
so difficult. So, without further delay, please allow me to
introduce to this topic, which is match making fails while
abstaining till marriage. All right, I was searching in the

(05:01):
net to know what is the successful rate of online dating,
and I'm not gonna lie to you. I was very
surprised to read that seventy percent of people successfully meet online.
Where are those seventy percent? That's what I wonder, Please,
let me know my Facebook page down below if you

(05:23):
were lucky or blessed to meet your maid online or
in person, and also if you will recommend it to others.
I'm just curious. As for me, I have tried most
of them, not to say all of them. Definitely, it
was unsuccessful on dating websites for me, as most of

(05:45):
the men my age were either divorced with children or
still married or on a break. Yep, you've heard it right,
still married or on a break. I know some of
you might be outraged by me stating that I was
not a match to divorcee or men with children. Well

(06:09):
that is my truth then, and what happened. I've tried
it though, try to be open minded, but for some reason,
my spirit wouldn't just be at ease with the Word.
Being a Christian woman who reads the Word regularly. And
here I'm not saying that I'm better or less than anybody,
But what I'm saying is that I have some convictions

(06:32):
that are minds that do not have to agree or
sit with everybody. But that being said, I also believe
that only God has the power to convict your heart
otherwise for his own purpose, just like he did with
one of the prophets of the Old Testament in the Bible, Hussiyah.
He asked him to go and marry a promiscuous woman

(06:53):
and have children with her. But don't get it twisted here.
God wanted to illustrate through the marital experience of prophet
Ousia and his wife, the sin and unfaithfulness of the
people of Israel. Then how he he, being God, felt
betrayed by the sin and ungodful behaviors of his own. Now,

(07:17):
for those of you whose eyes lid up to the
story thinking you see, you see, it's okay to be
with anybody because God allowed it. Now, I'm sorry. I'm
sorry for you. When you read the Bible and its stories,
it's important to understand the deep meaning behind the facts,

(07:38):
all right, side notesle On. In my journey of dating,
which by the way, isn't exhaustive or anything like that,
but sufficient, I have been matched through friends, family members,

(08:02):
online dating websites, or through the natural channel of people
I've met randomly, either it works, events, et cetera. That
being said, what I found to be very interesting were
the matchmaking through friends slash family members m HM. To
be honest, I don't know what to make out of

(08:23):
these matches about my friends. It's quite curious for a
married friend with children and clear goals of her life
to believe that a man with no job and no
perspective of getting one, with absolutely no idea of where
he sees himself in a year or five years, who

(08:46):
depends on his sisters or his poor mother abroad to
send him money to live. In case you were wondering,
this guy lives in Europe. Okay, so there are possibilities
to grow and to do better, but I'll spare you
the details. To think that this guy is a match

(09:06):
for me, Please make it, make it, make it make sense.
A man who seems to rejoice in being taken care of,
no answer of responsibility in his bones arrest my case.
What do y'all think of this match? Am I tripping?

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Or what?

Speaker 1 (09:28):
AnyWho? As if it was not enough, another family friend
who decided to play matchmaker, believed to have found the
perfect match for me with a man who, within two
hours of being in contact with and talking to through
the power of social media, I was able to find
out with video evidence that this guy less than a

(09:51):
month ago got married. Traditionally, as most African cultures do
prior to religious wedding. Now please tell me, Am Treppen
or what oh? Still through the family channel, I am
now matched with a very smart, funny, driven Christian man

(10:14):
with children who got secretly married without his family knowledge.
As a result, the family believes that he's simply separate
from his ex, and I believe that as good parents
to their son, they were looking for a possible good
mother figure for the children. And that's just me speculating,
and so as this respectful Christian family believes their sons

(10:40):
to be separated, it was kind of hard for me
to find out after two weeks of dating him that truthfully,
they meaning him and his ex only lived separately but
legally were still married. Yeah. Beer taste in my mouth.

(11:01):
Yeah at that time, I'm not gonna lie to you.
I question God, why did he allow me to even
meet these people? Why did he allow these people to
possibly risk to break my heart and therefore change me
for the worst, Because we all know how these experiences

(11:24):
can affect anyone, and that's just a small portion of
my matchmaking experiences. I know that I'm not the standard
nor the barometer of matchmaking experiences, but my question is
this is it that people are crueless and cannot read
characters or similarities and personalities? Or is it done on

(11:47):
purpose to not invest in finding out more about the
right match for a friend or anybody to that matter.
How can it happen so many times to one person
by different people, to be matched so wrongly? And funny
thing when you confront these forgains matchmakers, you find out

(12:07):
that they did not even know the person they've matched
you with. Disgusting, right, funny thing? I know I say
funny thing a lot, though it's not funny, but funny thing.
After all these matchmaking fails, I fell at first in
a suspicion don't trust and don't care about any man

(12:28):
out there mentality, and obviously me not trusting easily Naturally,
I couldn't trust my friend's intentions towards me anymore. During
this period, I've questioned so many things. I did not
understand God's plans for me, though he said in Jeremiah
twenty nine eleven that his plans for me or well

(12:50):
he really said for you, But I know that he
talks to every heart individually. So though he said that
his plans for me were to prosper me, and not
to hunt me plans to give me hope and a future.
Why were all these things happening to me? Now? It

(13:41):
is true when God says that my thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are you waste My ways powerful, simply powerful,
I explained. When we would think that all these failed
experiences would break me in the countrary, it motivated me

(14:03):
in a way that nobody can understand to rise from
the dirt and serve God's purpose for me, which was
to use all of my hardship and turn it into compassion,
to serve, understand, and respond in a better way to
the needs of other Christian celibates accident, which are sometimes
called celebstinent, folks like me who also feel or have

(14:26):
felt hopeing finding their mate in Christ, sleeping through or faid.
Having not gone through this all, I don't think that
I would have had this much passion to be a
facilitator to other Christians celebstinent and believe strongly in my
heart that it is through a community that we can

(14:47):
achieve greatness. I want to be able to create opportunities
for others like me to meet other like minded people
and just cruel and prosper because the devil is a liar.
We are not alone. There is me, there is you,
and there are many others who believe to have given

(15:09):
up on the quest to love, but truthfully, inside of
them still secretly have hope that it is still possible
to you. Yeah, you, I say, I see, I feel,
I hear, I understand, and I love you. Hope is

(15:32):
what we have till there's no breath inside of our lungs.
So let's not give up on the hope, but still
find our Adam or our Eve. Now I do not
have a matchmaking license, but can we be honest? What
have all these licensed people done for you? And here
I'm not throwing shades at all, I truthfully ask. I

(15:55):
do believe that some things are gifted by God, and
of course it doesn't hurt to add some qualifications and
knowledge to it. But anyone with good intentions can suggest
to you a mate. I've once myself failed by suggesting
only a man to my sister, so it's not one
hundred percent science. I get it, as there are a

(16:17):
lot of things to consider for people to be compatible.
So if you are with it, let us create a
community by joining my Facebook Accountlain down below at Facebook
dot com slash group slash Here is Eden, a page
that I created some time ago for this purpose, but
that I haven't advertised well enough. Today is the day.

(16:38):
I'm not standing here with fake promises that everybody will
find somebody by my might. But I pray wholeheartedly that Elohim,
our creator, our father in heaven, provides and fulfills each
and everyone's needs, whether it is just to have a
platform where like minded people come together to meat, exchange

(17:01):
and serve one another, or where we can rekindle the
feeling of hope in love. There, my friends, I want
to hear from you. It serves no purpose for me
to be saying all of this and have all of
these goals if we do not share the same purposes.

(17:22):
A friend of mine, who once was in despair crying
hopeless about this love thing, once asked me, why are
you willing to help others to find love instead of
investing in yourself first? God makes no mistakes. I have
not prayed to be an instrument for his purpose to

(17:44):
be complaining now when He uses me for his children,
he knows what he put in me, the ability to
serve and rejoice for others' happiness and salvation. My dad
often says, do you know the difference between Heaven and Hell?
And proceeds by telling me the story of two kingdoms
where a feast was thrown by two kings. In both places,

(18:08):
there was abundance of food, so when the people arrived,
they were bouncy, healthy, and excited to eat. But on
the tables, each person was provided with those long forks,
and the rule was to eat only with those. No
hands were allowed, so when they all started trying to eat,

(18:30):
they found it impossible to bring food to their mouth
with those long forks. After many days of trying to eat,
a remarkable difference was noted between both kingdoms. In one
of the kingdom, people were found after many days healthy, happy, energized,
and full, whereas in the other kingdom people were found weak, imagiated, irritable, angry,

(18:56):
and close to death. Do you know what was the
reason this difference? In the kingdom of Heaven, people understood
and figured out that by feeding each other with those
long forks, they stood a chance to benefit from the blessings,
whereas in Hell, each person was so focused on succeeding

(19:18):
to feed themselves first that they resulted in condemning themselves
to death. As first Peter Forten says, as each has
received a gift, use it to serve one another as
goods to wards of God's very grace. I rest my

(19:39):
case on that note. I wish him to have an
amazing day, evening night, just have an amazing time, and
as I always say, stayed beautifully, peacefully and confidently blessed
as you, my friends, are a unique creation of Belloin.

(20:03):
Stay blessed, my friends. Perventum event