Exploring How Christians Approach S*x and Romance in Their Love Stories

Hiya my lovelies,

   Hope I find you well. 
Is flirting while courting acceptable? And what are your limits in your relationship? Are you considered promiscuous if you're playful and tease your date? Do you speak openly with your partner in the courting phase about s*x? Yours and their expectations, fears, boundaries, etc? Or you prefer to speak on it after marriage?
Let me know, shall we?

One love,


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome to Here is Eden, the space where there is peace, innocence, growth,
and joy. You may now leave your fear, your judgment
and murmur at the game disclaimer.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
The atmosphere you're about to enter will suscitate questioning, opinions, conversation, thinking,
growth or not. Be informed that what you're about to
hear is not from an expert, and remember that the
great it is specialist. An expert that there is is
Elohim himself. Now, if you may, let's get comfortable and enjoy.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
I am a beautiful loving souls. How are you doing?
How's life? How's work? But most importantly how easy relationship
with God? I hope you are doing well, and if
you are not, as I always say, do not despair,
as it is just this season and there will be
bratherday is coming. As for me, I am doing fantastic

(01:35):
and I'm grateful for the consistency, and I pray for
my father to continue to give me the strength to
serve him the way he wants me to serve him.
For those of you who do not know me, my
name is Rita aka Babyface, and I want to welcome
you to this podcast. That is here is Eden. If

(01:57):
you are a regular listener, I want to say yes, sir,
if you are a new listener, Yes, welcome to Hero's
Eden podcast, which mission is to serve and respond to
the needs of Christian celebrate and where we also speak

(02:18):
about relationship in general. My prayer for you is that
you find anything from what will be discussed today, and
so together we enjoy, we grow, and we learn. So
before I can keep on talking, and like to take
a time to give grace to my father. So Father God,

(02:40):
I just want to say thank you for being thank
you for everything you do, and thank you for things
that you haven't yet accomplished. As I always say, you
are worthy of God and Lord to be praised and
to receive glory, honor and power, for you created all things,
and by your will they were created and have their being.

(03:04):
A man, a man. Let's go. Mm oh, my friends, welcome.

(03:25):
I told myself, Rita, you have to be serious, all right.
You are the one in control right here, all right,
so serious mm hmmm listen today, as you may have
read in the title, mm hmmm, let's talk about sex

(03:47):
and romance. By the way, I may pronounce sex just
so this episode does not get flagged okay, but we
all know and understand what I'm referring to, all right,
all right, So for some reason, this is a topic
that I like to learn, talk and listen about. Don't ask,

(04:09):
I don't know, m M. I guess I just like
how uncomfortable it can make people feel. And don't get
it twisted. I do get uncomfortable obviously from the way
I started it, but I do not mind to be
uncomfortable from time to time because being uncomfortable just helps
us to rise up and improve.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Right.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
So though I do like this topic, let me tell
you what I like the most. What I like the
most is when it is talked or brought up with honesty, wisdom, grace,
and realness. I mean, sometimes in church they use way
too many power balls in that manner, which makes it

(04:52):
unclear and leaves the door open for anybody or any
other source to just come inside and influence in a
And so while in house they take too long to
teach and clarify some basics. Well, I guess what, the
streets is always ready and lurking ten toes down to

(05:13):
come and snatch your seeds away from you. You know
what I mean? And that's truth? Who is called the
Prince of the air where we're living. That's right, the
devil himself. Not a surprise. Why money, sex and power
control this world at least for now before the Prince

(05:33):
of Prince returns and restores everything according to the plan
of our Lord and him as Shad die. Let's say
I right now, but seriously, we Christians need to do
better in that field and stop acting like this was

(05:54):
created by the devil. He and created a job. No,
he takes a anything that has been already created by Elohim,
our Father, and foul surfice it in order to mislead
the elect That's all it is, my dear friends. Honestly,
do you think that when God created Adam and Eve

(06:15):
he left intimacy to the side because it might have
been uncomfortable to teach them about how to multiply or
pro create? I doubt it. You know why it's uncomfortable
because it has been perverted. All right, yoll listen, before

(06:38):
I actually forget to properly introduce to this topic, please
allow me to do so. So today's topic is let's
talk sex and romance and Christian relationships. Hey ya, As

(06:59):
you can see, I do get very passionate about certain things.
I don't know. I just like everything that surrounds relationships
in general, whether it is between family members, friends, men
and women, or men and God. So today's topic is
just amongst one of many that get my attention. That

(07:22):
being said, I'd like to start with a story time.
I know if you have ever dated, I also love
to hear your stories because obviously, on this day and
age the dating scene, you will always meet Christians Christians
and yeah, you know what it means by Christians Christians.
A lot of people are Christians nowadays. They might go

(07:45):
to church occasionally or even every Sunday, but live like
anybody else, not like Christ. And this is not a judgment,
by the way, but more so a call to wake
up and realize if your life is not aligning with
Christ's instructions, and take control of your life and surrender
completely to him. I side note, So back to the storytime.

(08:11):
I'm a playful person. I like to tease, love, push
limits a little just to get to know people on
a deeper level because most of the time relationships can
remain surface level for too long. I can also be
serious and have deep, meaningful conversations. We are leveled over here. Okay,

(08:33):
so there there was a time of my life where
I succumb from my mother's pressure, believe it or not,
to try to get out and explore dating websites, though
I resistant and put on a fight. I'm an old
school girl. I like how things used to be. Go

(08:53):
while meet a mad we look at each other, there's
attractions and boom we talk. Yet I lost so here
I was in this virtual jungle where Christians dating websites
are just really not Christians. But hey, we here we explore.

(09:16):
So I see this guy, We start talking, share some
interest and decide to meet up. So we go for
a brunch, which, by the way, I'm curious to know
if going to eat on a first date is ideal.
As you're trying to look your best, you know it's
not time for you to try to get a piece
of pinache stuck on your teeth or drop food on
your clothes because you're just nervous. So you get the gist.

(09:39):
So where do you go on the first date? As
for me, it was a brunch and I'm a picky eater,
so most of the time I eat the same things eggs, meat,
to beans, and half of a waffle. Mm hmm, yep,
that's right, that's what I eat. They say, they say

(10:01):
breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So
just right here, following instructions, all right now. It is
a bit less, but beside the point. So with the guy,
he's a bit stiff. I don't know. Maybe it's because
I was a couple of minutes late and he was
stressed or nervous to lose our seats. Probably we get

(10:26):
in sit down order and start talking, you know, thing
with me. I don't understand how we can run out
of things to talk about, especially when the two of
you are strangers from one another. Well, I'm interested to
know who you are. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. So

(10:47):
how are you While we're talking and get comfortable? I
noticed how he looked at me lustfully, So just to
lighten of the mood, I joked, and really I joked,
but said it playfully. Why are you looking at me
like that? Like I'm a snack or something? Yo? The

(11:08):
dude switched on me. I thought for a second that
he was one of my big cousins. Something man brought
me backstraight. My girl, you need to be saved. He
stiffened up, got serious and all, Yo, remember the story
of Joseph and Putty First's wife I think that was
his name. Yeah, you know, when he flee and the

(11:31):
exception that here, it didn't flee, but it felt just
the same. Listen. I loved just a bit because the
whole discomfort to me was funny because I didn't think
that it was that much of a big deal. But hey,
maybe he felt some type of way, or I don't know,

(11:53):
or maybe I was Adeline. I did not know. To
me at that time, it gave me a big brother vibe.
The thing is, once you put yourself in the big
bro zone, it's kind of hard to switch it back,
you know. So I say that to say that though

(12:14):
we are Christians, and by the way, I do not
want to generalize and say that all Christians are this
way or that way. But what I'm saying is that
we need the correct teachers from trustworthy was mentors of
the church to lead and guide us with their life's
experiences so we can embark on this thing that is

(12:35):
a lifetime partnership, not legible and in confidence. Last week
I spoke about abstinence in Christian married couples and one
of the things that struck me was realizing through the

(12:57):
study that many Christians lacked proper sexual education to succeed
in their marriages. I understand that many people come from
different backgrounds and that we are usually the fruit of
our upbringing an environment. Therefore, it may not be normal
or comfortable to some people to speak openly about romance.

(13:19):
But the thing is this person you married, you live
the rest of your life with them, so you both
can help each other to be more open, transparent, and
vulnerable towards one another to make some difficult conversations possible.
Of course, it's not going to happen overnight. I understand

(13:41):
that it is a process. I just don't believe in
being stuck in a stone stap of mentality. What I
mean by that is I am the way I am.
That statement just tells me that you choose to be
the way you are, but not that you are the
way you are because it is ingrained in your Humans

(14:02):
are created with the capacity to change and improve, and
that is a personal decision. The fact that it is
difficult to change does not mean that it's how it's
supposed to be, especially if it does not bear good fruits. Yeah,
it's easy said than that, M I hear you. I

(14:23):
know I myself is a celibate Christian woman in this
modern era where cultural norms have changed quite a bit,
and not gonna lie therefore has affected drastically the quest
for love. So I do know how intricate and like

(14:43):
amaze it may feel to navigate through this web and
find like minded believers whose aspiration matures. Thus I understand
the purity and courtship. I also know that the person
I'd like to share the rest of my life with
should be my best friend, and it would be delightful

(15:04):
if we both could learn to be really comfortable around
each other and truly ourselves. In the meantime, I embrace
with both arms this waiting season that I am in,
as God is teaching me to put him our first.
I am learning to realize all through this process that

(15:26):
He is the way and the only way. So even
when I find my person, he must know and accept
that God is and comes first because of Him. All
that is is. As Christians, we should say at standards, boundaries,

(16:02):
and date with self respect in order to prevent ourselves
from compromising. But this does not mean that we cannot
show interest respectfully towards one another, if, of course, we are,
according to Mary, with commitment. If before marriage you cannot
express appreciation to your partner, well it's not magically going

(16:25):
to come to you once you're married, you know that, right.
A strong relationship is something you make and that's something
you find. It requires a little bit more effort than that.
I may say something that will make you cringe and
make you want to go hide, and you may say

(16:45):
something that makes me that makes me want to give
you one of these old time cute and loving outrage slap,
you know when women will blush and slap men because
we're being men, and we go like chrisco Yeah, and
that's okay. We will learn to be uncomfortable together and
navigate through it, but we cannot expect for things to

(17:10):
come naturally to us. And that's what I think. Intimothy
marriage should be seen as a beautiful and meaningful opportunity
for the couple to honor God as he created it,
so you become one. That's why it should just be
the act of doing it, but more so allow you

(17:32):
to connect on a deeper level with one another. The
lack of communication before marriage made it that many couples,
once married, have the impression of not knowing their partners.
How many stories haven't you heard of newly woods who
struggled real hard in the first years of their marriage.
All of a sudden you find out that they have

(17:54):
a variety of sexual preferences that do not align at all,
which you are also now that you're married, and shouldn't
in quotation, deny your body to him or her key
or she wants it every day and sometimes twice a day,
or they complain about how short your intimate sessions last,

(18:16):
they want to explore all kinds of things, or you
find yourself with someone who does not initiate intimacy. Ever,
in another case, you realize that your partner, though they
will celibate, struggle with pornography, and so on and so forth.

(18:37):
These I do not wish that to me or anyone
else out there. Prevention is always better and easier to
deal with than intervention and not saying that being open,

(19:02):
honest and true from the beginning of your relationship is
a guarantee for a perfect marriage. We ourselves are imperfect,
and people change. I am saying though, that first let
us learn to let God be the lead of our
lives and trust that he is in control and that

(19:24):
everything he does is always for the best, as we
are here only for a time and to serve him
and his purpose. Then once we have that in our pocket,
being aware, knowledgeable, and equipped never hurt. The thing is,
we also have to be honest with ourselves when while
courting we see red flags are things that raise our suspicion.

(19:48):
We do not have to rush into anything or act
from a desperation place. I know that celibacy and dating
in these times can be challenging, but yourself, as it
is entirely normal to desire to find this special person
who will complete you as a whole that you are
with the aim of marriage. But remember always if it

(20:13):
is his divine will. In today's society, in Timothy often
rhymes with no merit or commitment, lost, self centeredness, immoral habits.
I want it now, quit and die. No restraints patience,
my friends, as you do not want to give yourself

(20:34):
to one who's not your spouse and live with regrets
the rest of your life. Just to clarify things I'm
not saying, go out there and be open, vulnerable and
all that with everybody. At this point, that's up to
you to pray for discernment. But once you have found
one who seems like a true potential suitor to you,

(20:59):
well to know more about them, you know, be honest
towards one another and let each others know about your plans,
how you feel about them, and why not initiate the
healthy talks that takes place in marital relationships and that
you'll have later on anyways, right, you want to know

(21:22):
them in and out. Once we're done knowing about each
other's hobbies, it's time to leave the shore, meaning shallow
conversations and wet our feet in a deeper level, make
each other laugh, cry, reflect, challenge one another, know about
their strength insecurity, dreams, purpose, values, beliefs, what triggers them,

(21:48):
all that good stuff. Because communication, it will never be
said enough, is a crucial foundation to any relationship. My friends,
I feel like I could have elaborated more with details
as to how to improve intimacy and romance in Christian relationships,

(22:10):
but I always try to keep it short and concise
so we actually remember the discussion and the important things.
But let me know if you'd like for me to
elaborate more on some topics and I'll see if I
can make a part two. That being said, I hope
that it was helpful or simply informative to you, and

(22:32):
that you took anything from today's topic, because as for me,
I always learn from these different conversations and sometimes it
is just a reminder before I leave you, if you
are still in the waiting season, just like me, I
want to say be happy. You also can reach me

(22:56):
out on my Facebook down in the descriptions and let
us create a community where we support, encourage, and edify
one another on this journey. On that note, I wish
you to have an amazing day, evening night. Just have

(23:16):
an amazing time. Stay free and content up there. As
I always say, stay beautifully, peacefully and confidently blessed because
you know already you are a unique creation of l M.

(23:39):
Stay blessed by friends.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
And the the ula, the lame, the li, the lame
limn

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Neum Ut