How Could I Still as a Tomboy Attract Young Men Without Changing?

Hiya my lovely souls,

   Hope I find you well.
Is it just me or the dating scene has become sooo much more complicated!? 
Just a couple years ago, the appearance didn't seem to be as important than it is today. Personality seemed to be the forefront! Tomboy, girly or nerdy, you stood a chance to find your match. You, just...had to find YOUR match!

What has changed? Have we become more superficial? Or is it that we have lost focused due to how easy access has become to the world? Or simply maybe, we have lost the ability to commit or love?

Shall we?

One love,



PODCAST SHOUTOUTS

Grateful for:

Elohim, The Almighty, The One and Only, for Being.
Leonard Tshiks, my dad for amazing me with his intro and outro original compositions.
Ruth Tshiks, my sis for creating this wonderful logo through her great patience and talent.

Special thanks to Pixabay artists soundtracks:


Leonard Tshikudi--My Fav Dynamic
Leonard Tshikudi--Chill Rainy Vibe
JuliusH—African Inspiration
John Bartmann—Happy African Village
SOFRA—Africa Maasai Kids
SOFRA—Background Village Marimba
Lesfm--Calm And Peaceful
Lesfm--Emotional Piano Sad Background Music For Videos
23624974--In The Garden Final
ArtSlop_Flodur--Sahara Sunrise
SOFRA--Aùfrican Sunset (Motivational Upbeat And Inspiring)
TheFealdoProject--Congo Ville


SOCIALS

FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/hereiseden
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/groups/babyfacetellsstories
TIKTOK  https://www.tiktok.com/@babyface0776
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HereIsEden7
PINTEREST  https://pin.it/4lNjYCRHC
RUMBLE  https://rumble.com/register/BabyFace0777/
SOUNDCLOUD @BabyFace   PODCASTS LINKS



Here Is Eden

SPREAKER https://www.spreaker.com/show/here-is-eden
SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/7aNuzYSFUBZfDqm6xFT478
APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/here-is-eden/id1644893212?uo=4
GOOGLE PODCASTS https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc3ByZWFrZXIuY29tL3Nob3cvNTUzNTE3NC9lcGlzb2Rlcy9mZWVk
IHEARTRADIO https://iheart.com/podcast/96107794
PODCAST ADDICT https://podcastaddict.com/podcast/3932877


BabyFace Tells Stories

APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/babyface-tells-stories/id1659739220?uo=4
SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/2ciTDNSAQ79x8dIjzB2Myv
SPREAKER https://www.spreaker.com/show/babyface-tells-stories
IHEARTRADIO https://iheart.com/podcast/105943135
GOOGLE PODCASTS https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc3ByZWFrZXIuY29tL3Nob3cvNTY5MjA1OC9lcGlzb2Rlcy9mZWVk PODCAST ADDICT .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome to Here is Eden, the space where there is peace, innocence, growth,
and joy. You may now leave your fear, your judgment
and murmur at the game.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Disclaimer. The atmosphere you're about to enter will suscitate questioning, opinions, conversation, thinking,
growth or not. Be informed that what you're about to
hear is not from an expert. And remember that the
great it is specialist an expert that there is is
Elohim himself. Now, if you may, let's get comfortable and enjoy.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Hiah, my beautiful loving souls. How are you doing house
life as your family has work? How's your relationship with God?
But most importantly, how are you doing? I hope you
are doing fine, and if you are not, as I
always say, do not despair. It is just a season,
but they'll be Brady is coming. As for me, I

(01:34):
am doing great. I am grateful for life as always,
and I just want to apologize for the hi it
is for not posting for several weeks. But I've been
working on the background because I'm trying to put this
podcast of mine, whether it is Here is Eden or
baby Face Tell Stories on YouTube as well, so I
haven't just missed posting on podcasts, but I have missed

(01:58):
posting and I have missed you as well. I want
to thank you for sticking with me and for being
there for those of you who do not know me.
My name is Rita aka Babyface, and I want to
welcome into this podcast that is here is Eden. So
if you are a regular listener, I want to say welcome, Yes,

(02:23):
If you are a new listener, yes, so welcome to
Hero's Eden podcast, which mission is to serve and respond
to the needs of Christian celibates and where we also
speak about relationship in general. My prayer for you is
that you take anything within what will be discussed and

(02:43):
so together we enjoy, we learn, and we grow. So
if you are a regular one, you know how we do.
So before I can keep on talking, I just want
to give grace to my Father, Father God. I just
want to say thank you, Thank you for everything. Thank
you for giving me the courage to keep on going
despite the hurdles. I thank you for just being my

(03:08):
Lord and savior, and I thank you for not giving
up on me. As I always say, Father God, you
are worthy our God and Lord to be praised and
to receive glory honor and power. For you Father created
all things, and by your will they were created and
have there being a man a man, Let's go, my

(03:38):
people welcome. Yes. Yes. When I was younger, between ten
and fifteen years old, I was a very tomboy girl.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
M h.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yes, of course it was what was trended then. But
even before I come to this western side of the
world from the Motherland, I hung around boy is. My
best friend then was a guy. I was not intimidated
by them, nor was I overthinking anything. To me, there
were the people I just clicked or connected with. Naturally,

(04:11):
there was no shakara, as my Nigerian's fellow would say,
meaning problems or complications. Back then, I wore dresses because
my mom was in charge of my wardrobe, so I
didn't really have much choices. That being said, it's not
like I really cared either, But if I had to
be outside running, climbing trees, jumping, riding bikes, playing basketball

(04:34):
and more, we must agree that wearing a dress was
not so much IDEA. Fast forward, when we moved in
this western side of the world, the music culture started
to paint a different way of thinking. Whether it was
through my clothing choices or just my look on things.

(04:55):
This time around, we will stand the relationship topics because
that's just what this but it's about so the baggiest meaning,
the bigger clothes, the better to be honest. Back then,
just like today, I suppose, we didn't think much of
anything rather than man.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
You cool.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
It felt like we vibed on personality more than anything else.
I said that to say, the point of today's topic
isn't so much unto me being a tomboid then, because really,
who cares?

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Right?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Good for me if I was happy being such right?
But what I want more sort of focus on is
on the question and topic of is dating harder now
than let's say, twenty years ago? And what changed? So,
without any further delay, please allow me to introduce to
this topic, which is I was a tomboy back then,

(05:52):
but still was attractive to boys. Listen, Maybe it may
seem like a stretch to some with my example of
how tomboisha was then but still was attractive to boys,

(06:14):
but please stick with me for a sec. One day
I started reminiscing on the past and thinking what changed
Back in the day. You could be anywhere, the park,
the bus, school, at work, on the street, in the club,
at church, really anywhere. When a guy would fancy you,

(06:35):
meaning liking you, listen, they wouldn't hesitate to come talk
to you. And no, it was not perceived as creepy
or harassment. If you were not interested, you simply declined
the offer. Simple. These men had to do what they
had to do in order for them to be with
a woman. You know what I mean, because they were

(06:55):
in back then. All the social media platforms in staff, Facebook,
even not chat, etched, the phone and internet were just
starting to be accessible to many. Also, back then, it
felt like most of us in the dating scene were
forced to be more intentional. Well, I would say more
so men than women, because they were the chasers then

(07:17):
in comparison to today. But that's just my observation. What
I mean by that is that a man then would
walk towards you, talk to you, and ask for your
phone number. They were more direct Today. A man stares
at you, keep staring at you. Okay, did I say

(07:40):
that they stare at you mm hm for a nabvious signal.
Then when sorry, if they come to talk to you,
first thing they ask is not your phone number, but
your Instagram or your Facebook details. Now, maybe I'm all school,
but can you find out about me through a regular

(08:03):
conversation one on one, whether it is on the phone
or while having a drink. Why do people feel they
need to fact check you first through social media? Go
and look at you there, because I believe in person
they couldn't really see you because you were too bright
or AnyWho. So they go and look at you there.

(08:26):
Your friends, your family, your elementary school, your kindergarten teachers,
your degrees, your likes and dislikes, what was on your
mind on October sixth, twenty sixteen. Like really, no kidding?
They don't call back after having gathered all these informations

(08:48):
about you. It's just too much. It's too much. I
believe that it's too much information all at once. I'm
not saying that it's unnecessary to do so, because I
myself is guilty of googling people and searching them to
but truthfully, let's be honest with each other for a sec.

(09:12):
Doesn't it look a bit like a bunch of insecure people?
I don't know, just asking reading about someone or looking
at their pictures or watching videos of them on Internet

(09:34):
can give you a glimpse of who they are. But
we have to remember that what's in there are usually
their best features and attributes that they themselves carefully picked
to display to the world. So, in my opinion, there
is nothing that will surp us a face to face conversation.
Why do you think there are so many trolls nowadays

(09:56):
online because it is easier behind a screen to grow
wings and be who you want to be. Many people
have a lot of courage to do many things in
the dark, but as soon as the light shines on them,
you'd be surprised to discover how broken they are. I
do not believe that we were created to be exposed

(10:16):
to so many informations. Listen, when we are giving way
too many options, most of the time, it becomes harder
for us to pick one, and not just pick one,
but the best that fulfills our needs. Have you ever
been in a grocery store with lots of options without
a list? What happens when you get out of there?

(10:39):
Most of the time, when you look inside your basket,
you'll find extra things that you really didn't need, like that.
I don't know about you, but this kind of thing
doesn't happen to me. No, But seriously, it seems to
me that dating nowadays feels about the same at first.
On your what you were looking for to compliment you

(11:02):
and what you thought you needed were things like someone
who fears God and loves God more than anything. A
family oriented person who has a good relationship with their
family members, someone caring kind to others, a leader if
it is a man, someone who treats others which respect,

(11:23):
A selfless person with goals to serve God on this earth.
Someone who thrives to improve themselves to be every day
more like Christ, et cetera. Then as soon as you go,
whether it is on a dating website or any social
platform for you are giving the opportunity to meet such
a person. Right away, you start eliminating this potential because

(11:46):
too short, too slim, too fat, ah, too spiritual, too
uncle or auntie looking like uh uh bold, too light,
too dark, m looking childish hmm, looking like the mama,
too much to church, are looking like too smiley, two
gangs are looking like teeth too big or two spaced out,

(12:08):
too much makeup looks too expensive, high mintness. Look look, look, look, look,
look can we take a break? Who out there is perfect?
And that question goes to me as well. No, but seriously,
soon we will be dating avatars. I tell you we

(12:31):
will be dating on real folks, because it seems that
the way the system has transformed, converted, mortified, change our
inner being. We will soon start competing with artificial intelligence,
and why not, we will start playing god and create
our own ideal partner. All right, I'm sure some of

(13:04):
you might think that I was a bit too dramatic
with my last statement, and that's fine. I believe that
we are all allowed to our own opinions and that's
what this podcast is about. Start conversations and exchange through
constructive reflections and discussions. But reality is that dating nowadays

(13:24):
has become more challenging than before. Please let me know
what you think about this statement and what has been
your reality. As for mine, I find that many people
nowadays are afraid or not interested in committing in anything
serious anymore. People don't know what they want. And I
also feel that we have become commodities, just like in

(13:46):
the stock market. That's how people are now traded. Too
many options we have, yet we are hardly able to
make one successful. We have learned to mostly communicate behind screens.
Therefore have somewhat loss the skill to interact with another
human being. Just like us, our thirst has become unquenchable.

(14:08):
We want more, but yet we still feel empty, if
not more than before. We have a plethora of platforms
and access where we could meet new folks. But all
these options either makes us lose our focus or scares
the crap out of us, because here we are giving
the space to be talking to thousands of people if

(14:30):
we want to and have the time. And also throughout
these multiple encounters have the possibility to lose our confidence
along the way and trust in people. What have you achieved?
Looking back? Can too much accessibility, outer standards as quantity

(14:51):
over exceeded quality? Have all these today's factors change our expectations?
Talking about expectations are today is expectations even real or realistic?
Or the standards the same back then than today? There,
my friends, I leave you with a lot of questions

(15:11):
that I myself am curious to know. Though I was
a tomboy then, I never found myself having to overthink
about relationship or dating or anything. I knew that the
guys I talked to were the ones that I felt
compatible with. That was it I gave people the chance

(15:31):
to show who they truly were. I was no private
investigator searching into people's souls to find their deepest and
dark secret, nor was I suspicious of everything or everybody's person.
Things were just more simple back then. I want to
awaken everyone on this reality, but more so break this

(15:53):
cycle of living in the past. What I mean by
that is that let us do the best with what
we are given today, so then tomorrow, when we look back,
we do not say things were just much more simple
back then. I reckon that today is challenging. But if
we are still single today, having lived in the time

(16:15):
where supposedly things were better, well I guess that there
is something different that we could do today that we
couldn't do yesterday in order to change the course of things.
Of course, I believe that if God hasn't ordained anything
in our lives, well they are not meant to be.

(16:36):
But He created us with the free will to trust
him and his promises about multiplying the earth with the
partner that He has blessed for us. Now, if it
doesn't happen for you, don't be out there mapping and
thinking that you are cursed. Nah. I believe that We
are all created with a purpose on this earth, and

(16:57):
it is to serve our creator and to every thing
for his glory. The hardest thing I know is to
sometimes accept that His purpose for us doesn't always match ours. Listen,
I'm going to stop here, but I pray that I
was able to communicate effectively hope to invest in your

(17:19):
present relationship for a better future. I also want to
thank you wholeheartedly for having allowed me in your space today,
and I pray that together we are able to grow.
On that note, I wish you to have an amazing day,
evening night, just have an amazing time. And as I

(17:44):
always say, stay beautifully, peacefully and confidently blessed, as you,
my friend, are a unique creation of Elohim. Stay blessed,
my friends.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
The bel the per relate, the part, the the relay,