The CRUCIAL 7 Relationship RED FLAGS All Christians Abstinent Must Know Before Saying Yes!

Hiya my lovelies, 

  Hope I find you well.

Are you navigating the complex world of relationships as a Christian abstinent? In this eye-opening discussion, we reveal the 7 ESSENTIAL relationship RED FLAGS that could make or break your connection! Join us as we uncover key signs you shouldn’t ignore, ensuring your relationship aligns with your values and beliefs.

From emotional manipulation to lack of future vision, we dive deep into what to watch out for before saying “yes” to a partner. Don’t let confusion cloud your judgment!  Whether you’re dating or just contemplating, this guide is essential for faith-driven souls seeking meaningful love.


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Most of the time we here talked about general relationship
red flags. Red flags being warning signs or notification of
a potential problem. But what if Christians had to look
into more specific ones when searching for a long lasting,
meaningful relationship. What are the signs that might indicate a

(00:20):
soon not spiritually sound, healthy relationship. Obviously, this does not
make any other red flags, such as controlling behavior, lack
of communication, dishonesty, or any form of abuse any less important.
We have to remember that even if they cast out demons,
go to church every day, read their Bible daily, or

(00:42):
able to cite many Bible verses, and are named Moses,
they are still made out of dust and are very
much capable of manipulation, and therefore still able to lure
you into their nets and make you their casualty. This
is where discernment and wisdom come in handy. She says,
I believe in a higher power, and I am spiritual.

(01:05):
I don't judge and respect all beliefs. And he responds,
I believe in God, the Almighty Yahweh, creator of all things,
and his sons, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross
from mine and your sins. I am a Christian red
flags or green flag for you, let me know in
the comment section what are your relationship red flags? And

(01:27):
by the way, it is free if you wish to
join a supportive, like minded Christian community that understands and
validates your journey. So stick around. Welcome to Here is Eden,

(01:55):
the space where there is peace, innocence, growth, and you
may now leave your fear, your judgment and murmur at
the game. Hi am I love Liz. How are you doing?

(02:20):
I hope you are doing well. And if you do not,
as I always say, do not despair. It is just
the season and there will be right. It is coming.
As for me, I am grateful and I thank God
for those of you who do not know me. My
name is Rita aka Babyface, and I want to welcome
you to this podcast that is Here is Eden, a

(02:41):
podcast that serves and responds to the needs of Christian
accident and celebrate, and where we also speak about relationship
topics who aim to help you navigate the challenges of
your abstinence journey. If you are a regular listener, I
want to say welcome back, and if you are a
new listener, welcome. We'll celebrate you here. My prayer for

(03:01):
you is that you take anything from what will be discussed,
and so together we enjoy, we grow, and we learn.
If you're a regular, so you know already how we
go before I can keep on talking. And I just
want to give a quick christ to my father, Father God.
I just want to say thank you for everything. I
put this message into your hands. Less of me, more
of you, as I always say, you are worthy our

(03:22):
God and Lord, to be praised and to receive glory, honor,
and power, for you created all things and by your
will that we're created and have there being a man
a man, Let's go, My people welcome without work seeing anytime.
Here's a little story based on true events that will

(03:45):
help you understand how could Christian relationship bred flags look like?
So here goes nothing. A young man and a young
woman met at work. Both were and active in the
respective church congregation. The young man, a twenty six year
old fella whom we'll call Red, was the son of

(04:08):
a pastor who from time to time preached on the
pulpit at his mother's church. The young lady, whom will
call Green, was a twenty three year old virgin woman
who believed in waiting to marry before indulging into romantic,
physical and timocy activity. Right from the beginning of the relationship,
Green had been direct and honest to Red regarding her

(04:29):
practicing abstinence, and had not shy away from letting him
know and understand how respecting this will of her was
very important. Red, after hearing her, had commended her virtuous
walk with God and admired her strength to choosing to
walk into such an unpopular road, especially in this modern day.

(04:50):
Red also had promised to respect her will and never
force her to do anything that will compromise her walk
with God, because, after all, he himself was not only
a Christian, but the son of a pastor and the
part time pastor himself. Moving on three to six months,
then Red started becoming more touchy, pushy, impatient, confrontative about

(05:14):
Green's abstinence decision. Sometimes he would say things like we
love each other right, and I knew that I will
marry you, so why wait? And other time it was
a little less kind and sounded like grow up. Red
was definitely more experienced than Green in the relationship department

(05:35):
and had set boundaries so Green wouldn't call his phone
even after one year together. His reason, if you wonder,
since his phone was connected to the church line, he
didn't want for the congregation to pick up his personal calls.
Say what up until now? Do you see any red flax?

(05:57):
Long story short, Their relationship ended over one year after
Green discovered some disgusting information about Red. There After this
somewhat short true story, which I hope you've enjoyed, before
we have run into the mead of to this spot.
Please allow me to properly introduce to this topic, which

(06:18):
is the seven relationship red flags all Christian abstinent must
know before saying yes, don't miss out and talk to
you in a bit. First of all, if you'd like

(06:44):
to hear the whole story, I invite you kindly to
go on Speaker, Spotify or Apple and look for Babyface
in one word tell stories podcasts. There you'll find a
variety of Christian relationship stories and obviously the full current
story after day and each like to have your story
told and animated on the podcast, send me your details

(07:04):
in my Instagram or Facebook link down below. All right,
First of all, what is a red flag? A red flag,
as literal as it sounds, could be used to signal
or warn anyone of a potential particular problem. Its red
color requires your attention. Therefore, the modern use of a
red flag refers to something that is a warning sign

(07:27):
or cause for you to worry or be concerned, often
using relationship conversations or discussion. It warns you of a
potential keyword potential dangerous situation. The reason why I emphasize
on potential is because we have to be careful not
to become strict, rigid, legalistic people who generalize every word

(07:50):
and concept without contexturalizing it. What I mean by that
is that we do not want to be a walking
scare among a red flag over analyze every word and everything.
For example, we know to be mindful and care of
controlling behaviors as they are listed as red flags. Knowing

(08:11):
that your dating partners suggest per se an outfit that
they'd like to see you wear, all of a sudden,
here goes your brain feeling as if possibly you are
being dictated what you can and should wear. Discernment, y'all,
this is what we pray and ask God for every day.
Following this, what then, are the non negotiable red flags

(08:34):
Christians abstinence or Christian in general must not ignore. Obviously
there are many, but I'll focus on seven red flags
that I found valuable to thrive in a Christian dating relationship.
Feel free, of course, to share your own in the
comment section and give us a reason why. So, without
any further delay, here's, in no particular order, the seven

(08:57):
red flags. Red flag number one a partner who shows
leader to no interests nor will to grow spiritually. The
popular narrative is that the heart loves who it loves,

(09:20):
meaning sometimes the power of love is inexplicable and not
always within our control. But the Bible also says the
heart is the sinful above all things and desperately sick.
Who can understand it? You can read it if you
wish in Jeremiah seventeen nine. Ideally, if you are a
practicing Christian, you may want to be with someone who

(09:43):
shares similar beliefs, values, and life goals as you to
allow both of you relationship to flourish in the right direction.
As a whole and in a partnership. You want to
look for compatibility in your walk with God and growth
in God of you. It's not going to be one
hundred percent perfect because we are created unique, and we

(10:05):
are our own individual, but you want to avoid unnecessary
and stressful arguments and aim for a partner with whom
you can harmoniously work together towards common goals, aspiration, et cetera.
Red Flag number two a partner who presses you to compromise. Now, if,

(10:27):
even after having set clear boundaries and having communicated clearly
the values that motivate your commitment to abstinence, your partner
still tries to persuade you to engage in romantic physical
intimacy activity or slash intercourse. Shoot if this is not
a demonstration of pure lack of respect for your decision.

(10:50):
But is I get it. It happens to all of
us that have moments of weakness. But we are not
talking about overcoming regular temptation here. We are talking about
being pressured to deraut you from your path walk with God, who,
by the way, do we know does this for living

(11:11):
satan right? Therefore, no one wants to be with an
agent of the devil and lose its way. Maybe I'm drastic,
but let me know what you think. Red Flag number
three a partner who exhibits Christian contradictory behaviors. Listen, in

(11:31):
the previous story, the twenty six year old young Blood
Red was not only a Christian in quotation, but preached
in church as a part time So calling yourself a
Christian is not a validating passport to Christ. If you
date a liar, he doesn't even have to be a
pathological one. Just the fact that they can be labeled

(11:53):
as a liar is more than enough to deter their character.
So if you date a liar, a promiscuous person and
angry individual shows no self control, abusive, disrespectful, immoral, and
the list goes on and on, you may want to
ask yourself if this person helps you build and grow
the body of Christ. Most of the time, when it's

(12:15):
not right, we know it. So let's prey to God
so he'll give us courage, strength, discernment, and wisdom to
flee from everything that does not contribute into the growth
and success of his work. Red Flag number four kind
of similar to number two. This one is more specific
to a partner pushing you to cross your physical boundaries. Oftentimes,

(12:41):
many people like to debate about what physical boundaries are
acceptable while abstinent or celibate waiting to marry. Though the
Bible does as specifically tells us what boundaries we should
or not cross. It does say in First Thessalonian Chapter four,
verses three to five. Four, This is the love God,
your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality. That each

(13:06):
one of you know how to control his own body
in holiness and honor, not in the passion of luss
like the gentiles who do not know God. I mean,
you know what triggers you. Most of the time, we
like to downplay a lot of intimate physical activities such
as kidssaying, touching, making out genera. But just like that,

(13:27):
if you go on a date with someone that you
talk to and days later you see them holding hands
with someone else, isn't it going to disturb you? Maybe
just a little? And why though they are just holding hands? Right?
Could it be that there is some value in something

(13:49):
as light as holding hands when we like or love someone,
Simple things like holding hands can trigger emotions desires that
may lead to crossing set boundaries. Let's say, if you
are on a bread or pastry diet, it's not time
for you to go hang around cafes or pastry spots

(14:10):
to test your limits. Right. That's why the Bible says
flee from temptation. Therefore, avoid putting yourself in position with
anyone who could be the cause of your fall. Red
flag number five a secretive partner who refuses to be

(14:34):
open about their sexual past. Now these kind of convo
are important, my jas who knows you may find out
things like your partner having a body count of five thousand?
What did I even say that? M hm? Listen. I

(14:54):
am a firm believer of having a secret guardian to
ourselves things that you've already submitted to God, because privacy
is important, and I believe that. I also believe that
in order for a relationship to grow healthy, it requires
trust between both parties and respect. You have to trust

(15:15):
me enough with your past, roomer or unhealthy patterns to
be on your team and desire your wellbeing. And this
applies to me as well. It is important for both
parties to embark on an authentic, honest, and conscientious journey
with no hidden, possible, distracting secret. No one wants to
be surprised or feel framed two three, seven, ten twenty

(15:38):
one years later with, for example, a partner, secret kid
or struggling addiction. If you are not ready to open up,
seek help first from any authorities who could guide you
through whatever you are going through, and once you are healed,
find your partner. Next. Red flag number six A partner

(16:00):
who is not willing to compromise on important aspects of
the relationship. All right now, No one is talking about
compromising core values, personal integrity, or ethical principles. Here. What
we are saying is a partner who's not willing through
conversation to find a middle ground so that both parties

(16:21):
feel heard and respected. Yo, you aren't for a long
and tough ride. If that is the case, it is
important to be flexible and show qualities of adaptability. Being
open to compromise also shows maturity, selflessness, care, and unselfishness.
In order for the body of Christ to be built,

(16:44):
some sacrifices will be made. Finally, last, but not least,
Red flag number seven a partner with poor communication skill.
Just had to throw this one in there. John first
starts with in the beginning, was the word? The word

(17:05):
is what started the genesis of all things. Communicating effectively
is very, very crucial in every human interaction. How does
anyone know how you feel? What you want like, aspire
to expect who you are If you don't say, Obviously,

(17:26):
the rule to communicating is one speak, the other one listens,
and so on. With love, respect and all of these
good values we are aiming for a successful relationship. There
so quick recap under seven relationship red flags Christian abstinence
must know before saying yes. Number one a partner unwilling

(17:49):
to grow spiritually. Red flag number two a partner pressing
you to compromise. Red flag number three, a partner exhibiting
Christian contradictory behaviors. Red flag number four, a partner who's
pushing you to cross physical boundaries. Red flag number five
a secretive partner refusing to open up about their sexual past.

(18:13):
Red flag number six, a partner unwilling to compromise on
important aspects of the relationship. Red flag And finally number seven,
a partner with poor communication skill Red flag They're my friends.
I hope I was able to communicate clearly the warning
signs that we CHRISHIP should look for in regards to

(18:36):
achieving christ Like successful and healthy relationship. And I also
pray that wherever I have missed, the Holy Spirit does
what he does into your heart. May we all thrive
into this journey of accidence. For some and selbusy for
others with peace, assurance and contentment. Until God's plans gets fulfilled.

(19:00):
May we rise above red flags. Before I leave, I
want to humbly thank you for allowing me in your space,
yere and time for I do not take it for granted.
I want to wish you to have an amazing day,
evening night. Just have an amazing time. Stay safe out there,

(19:24):
as I always say, stay beautifully, yasefully and confidently blessed
for you, my friend, are a unique creation of Elohim.
Stay blessed, my Friends. Renamed the play