The Truth Behind Celibate People Shaming: Breaking the Silence

Hiya my lovely souls,

Hope I find you well and welcome!

Living in this world is for the least not void of many challenges, especially when you don’t fall in line with what’s trending. Choosing celibacy or abstaining ‘til marriage is one of these decisions that none takes lightly.
Although celibacy or abstinence 'til marriage allows many people to feel empowered, to work on their patience and focus, have a better self-control or feel confident, it also may come with a lot of misunderstanding, judgement, sometimes mockery or confusion from many.

But do people really get shamed from choosing to honor God with their body and wait for their "Til death do us apart" partner?

Well, shall we?

One love,



PODCAST SHOUTOUTS

Grateful for:

Elohim, The Almighty, The One and Only, for Being.
Leonard Tshiks, my dad for amazing me with his intro and outro original compositions.
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hay, girl, ay, has it going? I have a question
for you. Are you still single or you finally find
you someone that'll make the sun brighter for you at
sunset or the moon the light.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Of your darkness?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Oh? Gay, well, I'm just saying I'm not even trying
to be shitty or anything. I trust, it's just that
you're not getting any younger and girl, how truth is,
the clock is ticking, and especially if you think of
having a family of your own. Plus, I just cannot
imagine my life with that price in it. Listen, I

(01:04):
have my own personal meguiver at home who repairs everything
that's my functioning. Don't you want to wake up in
the morning with a handsome face next to you or
have your personal body heater? Why do you do that
that always coming and messing up my day? I have
told you countless time that it's not that I don't

(01:25):
want all the perks that comes with marriage, but I
just want to share those with my husband and not
the world. So until I have found my person, well,
I'll continue to thrive and accomplish other greatness that God
has reserved for me. Yeah yeah, yeah, strong independent woman
who likes to do things differently and things that she's

(01:48):
better than the rest of us. I get it. Just
don't wait up too long before your lady down there
retires from her functions and gets covered with cobwebs.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
That's me.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Why would you even say such thing? You act like
I don't take care of myself or something. I'm not mean.
I'm saying, who knows, It's just that I'd like to
tell you that I understand, but truthfully I don't, and
I feel like you're just wasting precious time of your
youth and girl, you missing out. Though one may come

(02:22):
across as insensitive for me at times, I just care
about you and I don't want.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
You to ever regret those yellow years.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
I don't know. I just don't know what to tell you.
I just wish you could just respect my decision. And
if it's too hard for you, my friend, to support
me in this journey and decision, just trust that this
decision I made was carefully considered and that I am
in total peace and surrendering from God as for my life.

(02:54):
All right, effusea. So I'm AnyWho. Girl, I've got to
go back home because Bryce and I we're going in
a romantic dinner later this evening. So to please Lord,
give me the strength to overcome all challenges, to shut

(03:15):
down the noise, and just allow me to hear and.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Focus on to your voice. Welcome to Here is Eden,

(03:39):
the space where there is peace, innocence, growth and joy.
You may now leave your fear, your judgment and murmur
at the game.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Disclaimer, The atmosphere you're about to enter will suscitate questioning, opinions, conversation, thinking,
growth or not. Be informed that what you're about to
hear is not from an expert. And remember that the
greatest specialist and expert that there is is Elohim himself. Now,

(04:27):
if you may, let's get comfortable and enjoy. Hi am,
my lovely souls. How are you doing and how's life?
How's your relationship with God? How's work? And your family?
I hope that you are doing well, and if you
are not, as I always say, do not despair. It

(04:47):
is just a season and there will be brighter days coming.
As for me, I am doing great. I am alive,
breathing and still going and I give grace to my
God and my Creator. For those of you who do
not know me, my name is Rita aka Babyface, and
I want to welcome you to this podcast that is
here is Eden. So if you are a regular listener,

(05:09):
I want to say fuck, come back. Yes. If you
are a new listener, Walck, welcome to Here's Dan podcast,
which mission is to serve and respond to the needs
of Christian celebrates and where we also speak about relationship
in general. My prayer for you is that you find

(05:30):
anything within what will be discussed, and so together we enjoy,
we grow, and we learn. So before I can keep
on talking, if you are regular, you already know, so
I'd like to give grace to my Father, my creator,
Father God. I just want to say thank you. I
want you to take full control of everything that will
be discussed today. As I always say, you are worthy

(05:51):
our God and Lord, to be praised and to receive glory, honor,
and power. For you Father, you created all things, and
by your will they were created and have there being a.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Man a man, let's go.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
My people welcome. As you may have heard in today's introl,
this kind of interaction isn't necessarily just observed in a
celibacy context, but could be also seen or observed in
any situation where the other party feels superior or simply
that they have something over to the other one. Listen
before I keep on talking and forget to introduce to

(06:34):
this topic without further delay. To this topic is a
celibacy shaming real, yes, so to piggyback to what I

(06:54):
was saying before the letter break shade or shaming can
be catered to each individual. As for me, for example,
because people know me to be usually pretty quick at
perceiving the sneaky comments strown at me, they won't necessarily
come towards me so aggressively nor with an obvious smart tone. Instead,
they'll upfer deviousness. I always like to give this example

(07:17):
when I speak about people's tendencies to wanting to break you,
shame you, or just mess up purity or your head. Younger,
when I started working, I remember a question that some
people used to ask me all the time. Let's specify
that it would often be the same ones anyways, So

(07:37):
every time after work they'll ask me how I'll get
back home and my answer would be always the same thing, BMW, bus,
metro and walk. I just had graduated from school and
was just starting my career, so no, I did not
have money to buy a car. So these people would
always ask me this question and when my answer wouldn't change,

(08:00):
can always be the bus metron walk, no matter if
we finished work after midnight. They never They never offered
to give me a ride, not like they were obligated
or anything. They always answer back, huh, that's too bad
because they own the car. Obviously, at first, in my innocence,
I'd always answer. But one day I clucked the shade

(08:22):
in the question. What would they always ask me the
same thing but never offer assistance, help or anything? What
was that about? Well? I didn't let that bother me.
I believe in we are where we are in the season.
That is meaning there are times in life where you'd
be and would have certain things, and our lives don't

(08:43):
have to resemble everyone else's life. There are things that
we can control and others that are in us' almighty power.
He is sovereign and does what he wants. So I
am in total surrendering when it comes to my life.
Really have a lasting personality. I do not covet the

(09:03):
blessings of my peers. I can appreciate their blessings, and
if it inspires me, I'll submit my desires to God.
But one thing is for sure. I want him to
have the finalcy over my life. So after working hard,
I was finally able to save some money and buy
me a car, just because I was tired at that
time to take the bus and metro. For the stress

(09:25):
and all the troubles he brought onto my life, They're insecurity,
they're no shoe, the schedules are being respected, leading to
me being laid at work et ceda. You get the point.
I've got a car because it was time and organically.
I never forced or felled below anyone because of that.
Some people rather commute in public transportations than drive, and

(09:47):
no one is superior than the other in any of
this case. It's just a matter of what we choose
or where we are in life. So long story short,
when I got my car, never told anyone I work it.
So what do you think?

Speaker 2 (10:01):
They did?

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Came back with the same question, but this time around
it felt as if my answer shut them down forever,
that answer being as simple as me going back home driving.
Never again was that question ever asked me after they
switched it instead to so Rita, do you have a boyfriend? Oh?

(10:24):
Nah ah, oh lord, please help them, please do tell
me what does me having a boyfriend would change in
anyone's life, absolutely nothing. Some people are just insecure, and

(10:48):
when they say you thriving despite you not having everything,
they envy your peace and happiness. Please never let anyone
get in the middle of your peace of mind and
affects your spirit. God gives to who he wants and
whatever he wants. My purpose in this life and yours,
and I don't owe anyone explanation as to anything regarding

(11:10):
my life. Just stand in your light and be content
with what you have. Believe me, it won't always just
be co workers, but sometimes even family members might come
and throw shades at you from the fact that you're
not yet married, talking about your nieces that soon be married,
or even friends dangling potential suitors to your face but

(11:30):
not trying at all to help you meeting or explore
a possible comportibility between the both of you you. I
could sit here and give you tons of examples and
situations where people try to come at me sideways and
make me feel bad for the choice I've made about
my life. But it's cool. It's cool because I serve
the one and only true God, who owns justice and

(11:54):
who fulfills my heart plentifully. I am filled with his peace,
and as he has promised, he gave his children utterance
and wisdom, so none of our opponents will be able
to resist or refute. If you want to read it,
it's in Luke twenty one point fifteen. So brace yourselves,
children of God. Celibacy is indeed misunderstood. That's also one

(12:17):
of the reasons why people act the way they do.
Ignorance often births in comprehension that you choose to live
your life your way and ask for the Bible recommendation.
How dare you trying to be different? Right? Truth is,
even if you choose to indulge in a life of
multiple sexual partners, everyone experiences different Not everyone out there

(12:42):
is really happy and thriving from being active at the
same level. The day I started driving, nothing but getting
to places faster had really changed. I mean, there are
perks of driving, but to be honest, the traffic, the
crazy drivers cutting you off to try to get your attention,
the racers, the angry drivers, the risk to have an

(13:03):
accident and lose your life, all of that can be driving.
So as much as Selbucy's lifestyle has its perks and benefits,
it also has its challenges. None chooses this lifestyle loosely.
Everyone has their own personal reasons as to why they
chose to abstain from physical intimacy till marriage and embrace
the challenges that come with it. The same goes for

(13:26):
the ones who choose to live their lives and be
open to experience many partners. At the end of the day,
all that should prevail is respect from one another. Choosing

(13:52):
celibacy TiAl marriage is a personal choice and there is
nothing wrong with anyone living that way. They're not and
it's not written on no one's fore head that they
are salivate. You won't know that they're salivate unless they
tell you because they look just like you, but chose
to abstain from sex until they find their person. And

(14:13):
also because intimacy does not always equate with intercourse. There
are many other ways to be intimate with someone you know.
Love's expression can be shown or observed in different many ways.
You may have a close friend, a teammate, or a mentor,
and y'all are not indulging in physical intimacy right so there,

(14:34):
I truly believe that if everyone agreed in respecting one
another's decision wouldn't be here talking about shaming folks. I
wonder is it in comprehension or discomfort of some faced
with difference or the reflection of this life chose on
their lives? Or is it a refusal to simply accept
celibacy or lack of respect? Please let me know in

(14:57):
the comments what y'all think. I'm really here your stin
now there my friends. So to answer their question to
this pod, is Cecy shaming real? My answer is a
sad yes. It is not uncommon to see or hear
people laugh for making fun of celbacy or obstinate still marriage.

(15:18):
But truthfully, that is seriously not my focus because these
people always have been and will always be until the
end of times. What I want to know is how
is someone's decision to abstain from physical intimacy affecting anyone?
If that's not your cup of tea, well why don't
you go and find your own flavor? I don't know,

(15:41):
just honestly asking. All I can say is do not
let anyone distract you from your goal, especially if yours
is to pursue intimacy with the Lord. Stay focused, my friend.
If you have been thrown shades for deciding to take
control over to your life. Well know that you are

(16:02):
not alone and prayer to God so he teaches you
how to shut down the noise so his voice be
the only one lead in your life. That's my prayer
for you. Hope you have enjoyed to this topic and
don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences in my socials.
And I wish you to have an amazing day, evening night.

(16:23):
Just have an amazing time and as I always say,
stay beautifully, peacefully and confidentally blessed because you, my friends,
you are a unique creation of Elohim, so stay blessed.

(17:02):
Renamed them the Relayed than