Unmasking Control: How Can You Identify Hidden Control Mechanisms and Break Free?

Hiya my beautiful loving souls,

Hope I find you well.

   Being in control of your life sounds like something positive, right? Ain't nothing wrong with wanting to be disciplined, or overseeing things that aren't working around you, right? In general, in a flock, there's often times only one leader, so why can't you be that person who supervise or direct the loss sheep, right? Who wouldn't want to team up with someone who's concerned in delivering the best always?

Thing is, although this sounds good, it isn't sustainable in the longterm as you would frustrate your relationships, you will exhaust yourself from that pressure of holding yourself all the time to a very high standard and it is impossible to control everything.

My question to you: Why do you feel the need to control everything?

Shall we?

One love,


PODCAST SHOUTOUTS

Grateful for:

Elohim, The Almighty, The One and Only, for Being.
Leonard Tshiks, my dad for amazing me with his intro and outro original compositions.
Ruth Tshiks, my sis for creating this wonderful logo through her great patience and talent.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
One has control overtaken your life? Or when have you
started having hard time going with the flow, being so
demanding of others and yourself for that matter, feeling as
though if your hand is not involved in anything that's happening,
it's not up to par. Before a job interview, you

(00:22):
prepare yourself so much to the tea that if anything
unexpected happens, it throws you up to the point that
you lose the ability to be in the moment and
go with what is given to you. You go on
a first date, or scratch it, you don't even allow
yourself to go on dates anymore because you're overthinking everything

(00:44):
and try to control how things should unfold rather than
letting go and enjoy the moment. When have you become
the god of your life? Welcome to Here is Eden,

(01:12):
the space where there is peace, innocence, growth and joy.
You may now leave your fear, your judgment and murmur
at the game disclaimer. The atmosphere you're about to enter

(01:42):
will suscitate questioning, opinions, conversation, thinking, growth or not. Be
informed that what you're about to hear is not from
an expert. And remember that the greatest specialist an expert
that there is is Elohim himself. Now, if you may,

(02:02):
let's get comfortable and enjoy. I am a beautiful, loving souls.
How are you doing house life? How's your work? How's
your family? But most importantly how easy relationship with God?
I hope you are doing fine, and if you do not,
as I always say, do not despair, for it is

(02:22):
a season and that there'll be broad days coming. As
for me, I am doing great. It's a very beautiful
sunny day. And there's a quote that I read not
too long ago that I just want to share and
that really that really describes how I feel. And it says,
the sun is our example. No matter how many times

(02:44):
we go down, we have to keep rising. So yes,
we thank God for rising the sun up and down.
So it's not so much that I look up to
the sun, but most so I look up to the
creator of the sun, and just like the sun, most
that's exactly how have to do. There are times you
go down, but you have to keep on rising up.

(03:06):
All right. So, for those of you who do not
know me, my name is Rita aka Babyface, and I
want to welcome you to this podcast that is here
is Eden so if you are a regular listener, I
want to say, and if you are a new listener,
welcome to this podcast. That is here is Eden and

(03:28):
we Celebrate You a podcast where we serve and respond
to the needs of Christian celebrates and where we also
speak about relationship in general. My prayer for you is
that you take anything from what we will be discussed today,
and so together we enjoy, we grow, and we learn.
So if you're regular, you know already how we go.

(03:49):
So before I can keep on talking, I just want
to give grace to my father. So let's pray. Father God.
I just want to say thank you, Thank you for
the joy you put in my heart. Thank you for
always showing up and showing out in my life. And
I pray that you do the same for whoever is
struggling right now. Father God, just remind them who you

(04:10):
are and how great you are, and how loving and
supporting you are. As I always say, Father God, you
are worthy, our God and Lord to be praised and
to receive glory, honor, and power. For you Father created
all things, and by your will they were created and
have their being a man a man. Let's go, my people,

(04:39):
Welcome to this topic is one that is not too
far from the tree, and that tree it's me. Yeah,
A certain event happened in my life not too long ago,
and for a reason that I didn't understand at the time,
it left me shook. I thank God from my family

(05:01):
because on the day of the event, right after my performance,
which I will let you in and explain more later,
all I remember is being on the phone, no kidding,
with two of my sisters consecutively talking for easily four hours.
Y'all ah ooh, this stress is real. At that time

(05:28):
I could only express how I felt, which was messed up,
not enough, let down, lost, imperfect and vulnerable. Vulnerable that word.
I know a lot of you might be thinking, oh, shoot,
what happened? Well, without further delay, please allow me to

(05:53):
introduce to this topic that is, how has control overtaken
your life with that's your knowledge? How to overcome it? All? Right?

(06:17):
What happened? You may ask or wonder. God has been
great and has sincerely tested me in my life in general,
but even more so recently. At the time when things
happened to me, I'm not gonna lie. I found myself
so confused and overwhelmed by the events it is only

(06:37):
looking back when all I can do is just sit
back and let God be God that I realize, you
know what, things were not even that bad, all right,
what it happened is not too long ago. God blessed

(06:59):
me by putting me in contact with a well known
Canadian broadcasting company with whom I partook on a project.
So I have been very fortunate to participate in a
video and radio form for that project. Although I do podcasting,
it was my first time doing anything TV or radio related,

(07:22):
like interviews and things of that matter. And if I
could describe that experience in few words, I'd say uncharted waters,
meaning new and unknown or unfamiliar territory. And gosh, gosh,

(07:42):
God knows how I do not like beginnings. You know,
those times when you feel out of place, powerless, weak,
inefficient and apt vulnerable. Yeah that word again, me don't
like it. But why we'll get to that later. Fast forward.

(08:07):
I participated on a five minute live radio call which
was supposed to be fun and rewarding, but ask me
how I ended up spending four hours on the phone
feeling as though I had given my worst performance ever.
This is when I want to take a moment and

(08:28):
say thank you Lord, for you never fail and everything
you do is just and perfect. The thing is, after

(08:55):
talking and sharing my heartfelt experience with my siblings, which
helped me trim tremendously to feel better, at some point
during those four hours of conversating, I've started reflecting and
self examining the situation with a less emotional aspect to it. Now,
I did not fully do it right away. I've allowed

(09:17):
myself to soak in all of this discomfort and pray
before looking into the situation with what can we take
and how can we grow from a type of attitude?
And to be honest, the answer did not come entirely
from me, but through my Bible studies, therefore the word
of God. Also, by going back and listening to that interview,

(09:41):
which I thought so terrible of, I've realized that my
perception of what had been was far way beyond from
what really took place. That's what sparked me the need
to understand the root of my feelings. Just like I've
said before, I do not like beginnings. And yet it

(10:04):
is in the genesis of things that the fundamental essence
of all things takes birth pause. What look at me
a weed to the philosopher ooh ah, I can't. I'm

(10:24):
just kidding, all right. In simple terms, beginnings are so
important because they help us build who we want to be,
the directions we want to go to, as well as
they teach us humility, trust, and how to surrender. If

(10:48):
these words I just pronounced don't sit right with you,
maybe just maybe start like me contemplating that sort of
possibly dealing with control issues. I know it can be
hard to admit that at times we may find ourselves

(11:09):
wanting not only to manage our own personal life such
as our environment in general, but also that of others.
We may find ourselves exerting influence or power over everything
that surrounds us or anything that we encounter. In my

(11:29):
situation in regards to that radio interview, overly preparing myself
to tell the story of mine, something that I had
experienced shouldn't have been taken with such magnitude in my
hand to the point of robbing me away from enjoying
this awesome opportunity. With all that being said, I'm wondering

(11:52):
where does the need to control stand For First, I
want to start by saying that control is always or

(12:12):
necessarily a negative thing. It is normal to have a
certain degree of control over our lives. For example, some
of us went to school or not and planned how
we wanted our adult life to be, such as our career,
our relationships, when or if we wanted to be parents
or buy a house, or we may even have set

(12:35):
goals for our fitness journey or things of that nature. However,
control can become unhealthy when by trying to take charge
and do everything yourself for you or others, or by
trying to control the outcome of everything, it results in
taking a toll on not only your body, but also

(12:58):
your mind and by affecting negatively the quality of your
relationship with others. When have we become the mastermind of
our lives? For non believers, I can't start imagining the
weight that weighs on your shoulders from believing that you

(13:20):
and you alone is in control of your life. By
thinking as such, there is no one responsible of the
outcome of your life if you don't do or intervene.
This amount of pressure on one soul is definitely an
opening for great challenges. Now, being a Christian does not

(13:42):
prevent us from experiencing similar challenges. Don't get me wrong,
as myself, I am a living proof of that. But
through faith of a living God who has done it
before for others and for me, I believe that in
him I'll find rest for my soul when I am burdened,

(14:03):
and that he will carry me throughout every trial of
my life. The burden the weight isn't all on me? Now?
Who said also that we should carry the weight of
what society may consider as being a failure? All right?
Hold on, let's track back a second. Most of the

(14:24):
time we try to control things from a place of fear.
Fear to be vulnerable, fear to be or showing perfection,
fear to accept or allow others to see our flaws, which,
by the way, bets be careful. Some flaws are imperfection
of ours that we may consider negative may be perfection

(14:45):
or strength to another. So let's just keep that in mind.
And as a last one, control can stem also from
a place of insecurity. Sometimes can't, or unconsciously, society can
apply a pressure on us by trying to make us

(15:06):
think that we must almost always be the best, be strong, confident,
and perform like no other my people, as long as
we will be living in this flesh, that definds our humanity.
We will have weaknesses, We will not be strong all

(15:28):
the time. We will be flawed, we will fall short,
and we will have some insecurities. For truly, no one
is in control of esh Okay, if you believe otherwise,
you have the right, But show me one man who
was in control and prevented that from happening. Let us

(15:53):
not believe the lie of the enemy and appreciate to
let go and let flow to be led and trust
that God is in control. And it's not because things
don't turn out the way that you wanted them to be,
that it is fail. How many times have we believed
certain things to be good for us, but lay it

(16:15):
down the line turned down to be the opposite. Let
us be authentic. They're my people. I hope I was
able to convey this message with clarity and most importantly,
bring some light and uplifted anyone out there who find

(16:36):
themselves unable to stop wanting to control everything, but today
decided to make a change and allow themselves to be
free from any form of pressure. Let us not allow
control to ruin our lives and opportunities. It is okay
to fall, to miss, to not be perfect, to be

(16:58):
led and follow, to be vulnerable and authentically yourself. It
is time to breathe and live. The Bible say in
Isaiah forty one verse ten, Fear not, for I am
with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I

(17:22):
will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Smile, my friend,
everything is fine. I want to thank you wholeheartedly for
having allowed me in your ears, in your personal time,
to have this conversation with you. I wish you to
have an amazing day evening night. Just have an amazing time.

(17:49):
Be safe out there, and as I always say, stay beautifully,
peacefully and confidently blessed for you, my friend, are a
unique creation of L. M. Steve left the