Diario hablado #54"Al padre que nunca pude hablarle

Nunca pude contarle a mi padre como me sentí con su abandono. Suelo hablar de el con ligereza y normalidad, pero hoy quise hacerle unas palabras al viento en son de paz y amor por los ancestros.
Que tengáis un martes hermoso ☀️🍉

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Good morning? Good morning? Goodmorning. Today a little earlier than yesterday,
he took the thousand and five hundredto record the episode on Monday,
but always on the move. Onething if you hear with a lot of
background noise or something, is thatfor the first time in about two weeks,

(00:27):
so the wind has deigned to coator subside. This summer heat is
worth the wind and the noise ofthe street and I the noise of the
movement of life, give two goodmornings. Today I wanted to tell you
that I didn' t know myfather at home. There' s a

(00:48):
bare- faced, hand- handed, red- colored photo of my first
birthday, of when my mother beggedher, almost didn' t force her
to go and where she made anact of presence, an area where we
were lucky enough to have that photo, a photo where by bad luck,

(01:11):
perhaps, or by the passing oftime, she has ended up stained with
mold and the decay of the steps, the passing of the year. It
' s the only memory I keepthat and my freckles. And here,
at a point other than this ministory, I have always received mockery for

(01:32):
my features, that I know thebroad nose of a blur, that they
gum black, darker, that madethe hair wire and always good before I
no longer had any self- esteemproblems with this, especially with the freckles
where a few black ones have beenwarned. In my day there was no

(01:53):
importance of visibility. Well, orI keep counting, I never knew what
my father really looked like, neitherphysical nor good in any other way.
When the kids started messing with mefor not having a father. My mother
told me that to all the answersshe told them that she died in Angola,

(02:14):
in the Angolan War, war wheremany Cuban lives were lost in the
years we are talking about that shewas a child in the nineties and her
uncle, her uncle officio, didnot mess with me again and I for
a long time believed this story thatall of me included, knew in the

(02:37):
background was not true. Obviously,I reconciled myself to his abandonment at a
very early age and hid the painwell inside my family was perfectly imperfect and
they worshipped me. I didn't need much more and maybe also,
because I respect my mother, grandmothersand uncles, who didn' t deserve
me to be crying for a manwho never loved me. Perhaps that is

(02:58):
why, when I found out attwenty- five that I had passed away,
I again felt the resentment and sadnessfor not good, for not wanting
to raise me, something that Idid with my brothers. But once again
I buried him again and simply learneda candle and included him in the picture

(03:21):
of my ancestors and I was atpeace because I knew that now, as
NDE, on the plane of Loffingand in the world of truth would accompany
me. A few days ago Isaw a chance photo in faceboodle already older
and laughing and my heart shrunk becauseI could clearly see what it was like

(03:42):
physically at least and you know what. My first impulse was to keep going
down and give way to it,as I always do, like a lot
of times something when things bother megave me my horn to move things inside,

(04:02):
but fate is capricious and, insteadof going down, I saw marvel
like a smile. It seemed onmy face to see that my father had
the same scholarships as I did inthe same place, and this time I
did let all the emotions come out, they would hit me in the face
to face them at last, andit' s curious because I thought I

(04:23):
was going to feel anger or painor loss, but none of those emotions
I felt. Not only did Ifeel gratitude, because I understood that my
story, however sad it sounds,must be so that today I become ironically
the woman I am. That partof my story was supposed to do that.
You see how interesting it is thattwo very different ideas I always repeat

(04:46):
one another. I didn' tget bored saying it isn' t going
to go into abandonment or because hemade decisions at the time that could hurt
you after people. That belongs toyour personal history and I respect it.
Compassion. It' s something Ilearned from my grandmother and I had the
privilege of being brought up. Thankyou, Grandma, Thank you from anywhere,

(05:10):
that you are father that olof endI have you in his lap and
that you accompany your descendants every dayand every moment, and I celebrate my
freckles every morning and at the sametime inherited them. I am a black
or fishy how beautiful, I amthe belonging and the legacy sometimes feels also
that my name is Anakata and thisis my podcat, daughter of Lucero Mundo

(05:34):
that you have a beautiful Tuesday anda July. Which is full of sun.
I want a lot of thought tomorrowa few minutes more chap