¿Hablamos de de Narcisistas, de tinder, del amor y la sexualidad?. Hablamos
En esta entrega compartimos espacio con Eli y no olvideis pasaos por su proyecto seis vueltas y contribuid a proyectos de mujeres anonimas que emprenden. Dale a la campanita en spotify para no perderte nada :)
En esta entrega compartimos espacio con Eli y no olvideis pasaos por su proyecto seis vueltas y contribuid a proyectos de mujeres anonimas que emprenden. Dale a la campanita en spotify para no perderte nada :)
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Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Welcome to another daughter from the worldagain with the happy eli I am in
the days Oli, what we talkabout today. Let' s go straight
into the subject or you want tomake a presentation. How good you are
here doing doubles for you Look great. Yeah, we' re doing doubles.
We' re doing it. Iwant to start as if it were
(00:25):
a new episode, and we justwalked in the door. Good morning.
I didn' t just have coffeeto say hello how about the ungreen pile
isn' t born or two.No. I' m not quantashoks aunt.
I' m seeing a series calledextraordinari very hooked him, because I
have a problem with the Norwegian,Nordic and British series. Especially, and
(00:48):
every time I see myself, Isay it a lot, I repeat it
a lot. The crazy thing.I' m a crazy woman. Disca
I' m on stage, I' m a crazy woman, but I
' m not crazy like Ay Ameli, you know how cute Amelin' s
crazy not crazy like Neurotic with treatment, I don' t take pills,
(01:11):
but I take care of myself andevery time there' s a British series
I see myself represented in some character. You' ve seen the bridger Tones,
Queen Charlotte. Not so, QueenCharlotte goes from the love that is
created between Queen Charlotte and King George. And Jorge' s cuckoo He'
s crazy like me, well,I don' t know if he'
(01:37):
s like you, but there's Cucucucu' s painter. Well,
it' s already there. Ican' t make it, but I
' ll make you very fat.I have a move on the subject of
madness, which I love to talkabout, because I like to make things
like that visible. It' san idea, an opinion, a little
personal about madness and women. ButI' m seeing myself astro dinar and
I love the protagonist because she's like a fucking goat, she'
(02:00):
s with a shower and she doesa lot of crazy things. I'
ve had seasons so I live aloneand my house is like a center of
people coming in comes out what itwas. I had that time, the
two- year stretch I' velived alone. I' ve had that
time of doing crazy things, pipe, people among the people who come out,
(02:21):
people who do, do weird thingsin my house. Yeah, I
know. If I haven' tseen the show, run to see it
from Disney. He doesn' tpay us anything. You could pay us
for it. We' re notvery good. I mean, I make
a little croche doll of princesses cnaand billing and talking about crazy times of
(02:42):
people who trisale that the series isnot about this. But good that the
girls a little crazy, we dotalk about sex, tinder narcissists, on
fire, ay and orchard. Yes, we were talking about this now,
last week, last week, twoweeks ago. Dato, this is by
way of information for you to knowwhen a covagina woman gets pregnant and is
(03:10):
an unwanted pregnancy. In the AutonomousCommunity of Catalonia, which is where we
are, there is the ease thatinterrupting this pregnancy, that is, abortion
is free among social life. Onefact I have told Dayana the other day
is that, outside the Autonomous Communityof Catalonia, that is, in the
rest of Spain, this does notenter into the social euda. I freaked
(03:31):
out when I found out because Ididn' t know. I thought so.
So what happens if you' refrom another self- governing community that
doesn' t get such a Uñaand you have an unwanted pregnancy, because
you' ll have to pay ifyou want to abort, because five hundred
euros minimum in private. I amflirting uncle abortion free, legal and sustained
(03:54):
for all and all please, yes, what this is is a luquera,
a madness and here it influences whatthey say about the birth in Catalonia and
the rest of Spain, because maybe, in the rest of Spain there are
unwanted pregnancies, much more than theythink. Because, Kari, imagine I
made it up. I' meighteen years old, I have a lack
(04:19):
of information, I have sex education, I have a loss. I have
God do not want an abuse,a rape. Yeah, how do I
explain it to my parents when I' m eighteen, if I don'
t have a deconstructed relationship. Andall that, let' s remember what
our parents are like, to sayI' m pregnant with every fucking bitch.
(04:43):
And then I also understood in partand I' m getting into a
meregenal when there are times when itcomes out at the event in the village
of the Segura River, I justinvented the town I don' t know
if it exists. They found ababy in a container. Mother 18 years.
They found her. It' sjust a mover. Oh yes,
uncle you say daughter of your mother, to the mother of the creature,
(05:06):
is that what circumstances has become pregnant, that has passed has not six hundred
euros to abort. There' sanother way you do it. I mean,
I' m not justifying leaving ababy in the container, but of
course, it' s a rudder. I' m out there trying to
see how I get him in,' cause I got like a bunch of
(05:27):
ideas. I' m afraid toput them on. Yes, because it
' s a fear aunt and theissue of motherhood is that I' m
the issue of motherhood. It's a separate episode that I' m
going to try to have with mariloand with other people because I think I
' ll live it, I'll divide it into pieces to have as
(05:50):
various opinions and views of different opinionsof different women and people who maternal in
general, because not only do wematernal women. But fear motherhood and childbirth
is a temon eh uff and abortednor tell you and astrophytic violence, optectric
forgiveness. Yeah, they have togo out for four hours in childbirth.
This has been heard yes before thatand if you pass the four hours and
(06:10):
not the TAO, I cut youoff and that' s what there is,
you have to there the baby,why, because there are no means
of financial in which I can havea 24 hour delivery. I make it
up. I' m not amother. I mean good, but that
' s also a topic, notthe issue that and the other day,
a month ago or so I talkedto myself I' m a trade unionist,
(06:33):
I have to say yes, wetalked about racism, but what we
do we have to say I'm an indicalist, and the other day,
we talked about it in the unionand the unions I don' t
care. They are very very men' s spaces, very very very very
men' s very macho in everyway. They come from anarchists and gems
and many times ally lies and therewas a lord who was saying I was
(06:57):
already talking about this very thing aboutlabor and such and you were telling me
that you have to shut your mouthbecause you are not a mother. Because
there was a girl who is amother and she thought and I have a
totally different opinion of motherhood because ofmy experiences and another one that I already
was very shocked that this gentleman toldme to shut up because I am not
a mother, that I am fewmothers, of course, and there were
(07:17):
other girls who said hey. Butit is that we women, even if
we are not mothers, can expressour opinion on the issue of motherhood and
often try to fall like this onus not being mothers. Not him and
me, we' re not moms. Well, I' m from a
puppy, yes, but from ahuman being or not. But we can
think of a motherhood, because weare women and we know in other ways
what is maternal, of course,is not a single way. I won
(07:43):
' t listen to my mother.I' ve had an abortion at the
time years ago. I had apregnancy, it was a desired pregnancy,
and I probably aborted at the time. If I had not been in Catalonia,
I would have brushed my belt themost by hanging myself, I would
have paid the five hundred six hundredeuros. Yes, I am grateful that
(08:05):
I am in Catalonia and it willnot be even less bad that you have
had the luck aunt yes, allthese women who can not especially in pairs,
is also sent for development and aboveall the social burden of abortion,
because it is believed many times ifI am getting into the topic that I
wanted to leave for a little specific, but well we can touch it above
the topic of the social burden.A lot of women aren' t lying.
(08:26):
They fool us by saying that allwomen have maternal instincts. Bullshit on
the social burden. When you sayyou don' t want kids because you
don' t like kids and whenyou say you' ve aborted, yeah,
oh killed, I don' tknow what. I don' t
know how many or shit and ifit' s not better to say hear
(08:46):
and how you are, because whenyou get pregnant, it' s supposed
to be a hormoda change the Idon' t know what you are,
because the foods you eat melo nutrientsare no longer for you. They'
re just. I don' tknow how much percentage it will be for
gestation of this effect and another percentagefor you to suddenly stop gestation of it
(09:07):
will leave your body. It's an amazing intervention for pills or surgical
intervention, because there are two waysif we ask that woman how she is
instead of giving her charge of conscience, for example, uh, yes,
yes, what you said came tome to egg, because it is that
a friend came to mind also thattwo weeks ago we talked about this aunt,
(09:28):
is that we talked a lot andshe was telling me that I'
m not going to say your namelove, that I know you hear me,
but that story also tell her,because maybe someone else is living her
mother- in- law in aboot of that she has moved now litigation
and such with the ex in aburst of anger Alexuera threw her into the
face that she had an abortion fromthe first girl, who is obviously alive.
(09:50):
The second time is that pregnant,a miscarriage and the former mother-
in- law put her in theface that she, after aborting, got
out of bed and went out fora coffee and what happened and she was
looking at this bad mother, tellingher bad person, because of course and
she felt super guilty and I calledher a girl. But the stigma of
(10:11):
how you have to react or not. When you have an abortion or you
' re looking for it or you' re living it, no, then
I have to cry until the presumednine months that I would have given birth
in bed. There' s adepression and how you have to react,
clear and crying around the corners andtelling everyone. There are poor girls,
they judge us how we have andthat' s rape. Also uncle that
(10:35):
that' s another episode, butthe subject of rapes judge us how we
have to react to a violation Ifyou don' t react on the basis
of the standard, which is basicallywhat Hollywood sells us, movies and all
audiovisual material doesn' t matter howwe consume. It' s wrong.
I know people who have raped her. In fact, there' s a
(10:56):
series about this on Friday and Saturday. They' ve gotten up, they
' ve showered and they' vegone to work myself, myself for x
reasons that won' t come in, because I want to do a special
episode about this. But you can' t predict how a person reacts to
abortion, to rape to millions ofyou know, whether elected or not.
(11:16):
Sure, well, rape. I' m not telling the truth. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, butyou can' t predict as a
reaction based on me, like me, being impossible. Auntie or I who
know the brain is crazy, it' s a machine that we don'
t even know how it works yet. I know the fourth part, totally,
totally. I recommend that speaking ofthis abuse or rape and such in
(11:37):
Netflix, the not one more not- look is set in upper middle class
people and in children classmates I raisemyself, wealthy, but it is very
cool because to me at first Iwas grinning. But then, it turns
out that it is the medium-high greasing. There are also abuses and
violations. Sure, then I don' t like them. Son I recommend
(12:00):
her and I feel very identified withthe protagonist and I think that you too
would feel identified in the aspect ofscrewing how heavy you are this at a
time complaining about things, claiming shutup, since it is not so much
that you make it up. Thiskind of little thing that we used to
squeal at and raise our voices don' t usually happen, because I'
(12:24):
ll see her. I haven't seen her, eh, I recommend
her to you. I' llsee you. You' ll tell yourself
when the drug starts. It's a little bit, but we'
re talking about drugs. Right nowit' s good to have narcissistic sex.
I don' t even know whereto start, which is a theme,
uh ufff themes. I have alot of experience here. Yeah,
(12:45):
yeah, Tinder, I don't know,' cause I took it
off. Then I had a seasonthat was all Tinder, to Tinder,
all Tinder, I came out asuper long and traditional monogamous relationship. I
don' t know what and Ididn' t know. I in love
have always been out of time,I am always so free free, because
I think it is my nature,but not because many things I have experienced
(13:09):
it honestly and I came out asuper traditional and monogamous relationship and I didn
' t know anything about Guau sexabsolutely by telling you that I masturbated at
twenty- two for the first timeand had my first orgasm masturbating by watching
a movie by chance on a channelat three o' clock in the morning.
I was awake and I saw himand I said to you and this
is porn. I put you incontext. I' m Cuban. In
(13:31):
Cuba, these things did not existin my time, I did not have
the internet or the milk of theseand the death was learned, because in
the street with what I heard peakand trumpets. I' ve been out
of time as usual. As Ihave always said, when you have in
my neighborhood, already tequitique, Ido not why I know that I know
I go slow in life and ofcourse, I have had to learn things
(13:52):
hard and I sometimes find it difficultto relate sexually, because I did not
bury many things second time. Thefirst time I ran, okay, it
was thanks to an EHC. Verywell what you told me all this gave
me the famous satisfied 30 seconds ago. I didn' t know what it
(14:13):
was. I mean, I thoughtrunning was, because you can' t
explain. No, I don't know what you like. No,
no, no. The palpitation isgood, I explain it that way.
The palpitation is a boom boom now, uncle me now, from twenty-
seven twenty- seven years old andgiving it all since the fourteen that strong.
(14:33):
But of course I don' tknow what it' s like to
run, because there I knew clearlythe importance of sex education, that of
sex education. Many times we talkabout sensual education, contraception. I don
' t know what' s not. Sex education is also about consent and
what we like and don' tlike where to touch us and where not
to touch us. Right, andthis is masturbation. Masturbated helps us.
(14:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they' re upset people with a penis I
shove pay up their ass or theystick it in. Please let yourselves eat
your ass. This is a requestI put out to you, Adalana,
I say go away. I wantto ask that people with penises, that
is, let them fart up theirasses or shove it into themselves or whatever
they want to say don' tstart putting a scimbreil on us, but
(15:20):
uh, let' s see,but let' s eat your ass.
Yeah, you' ll see,how you' ll start coming back,
you' ll see. That's a really good clip. Please let
your ass eat and if you're already cheered up, you can shove
a finger up your ass, whatever' s lubricating with his stuff. All
right, uh, I mean you' re going to flip for it.
(15:41):
This is very straight not to seestraight. It' s not that if
you stick your dodo up my assand I find out or it scares me.
I listen to men, I'm scared. Afraid because in case
I like it and what' sthe problem is that the moment you like
it, you get an idea upyour ass. It doesn' t mean
you' re gonna see a guyand if you love him, fuck shit.
(16:03):
Sexuality in sexual choice is going alot further than getting a do in
your ass totally if it goes alot further. I discovered this with sixteen,
seventeen years. Put the dome ina man' s ass. Yeah,
I mean, it' s toopremature, I mean. What has
happened to me is that I havelearned to give pleasure very soon, but
(16:23):
I have learned to give pleasure verylate. Welcome to the women' s
world, to the women we're not with other women in general.
I think lesbians have it super good. Good guy' s like a visexual
person. Okay. I had agood time thanks to a person of the
(16:48):
same sex as me. It wasthat I discovered orgasm, which was thanks
to satisfyingyer. But I don't know what to say You enjoyed it
a lot with men and women.Hey, I enjoyed it. I'
d say I' ve freed myselfmore with women than with men, with
men. For me it has alwaysbeen a performance, it has always been
(17:11):
a state in a position that weowe the lords. It' s just
that she Breshu pussy help me,man, I don' t know.
No, no, no, no, no, don' t overdo it.
No, no, don' tshout, it' s not as
central as their pleasure, it's mine. And of course, when
I' ve been with girls,it' s different, because it'
s like a liberation from what thefuck. Sex is dirty, sex is
dirty. We' re, youknow, sweat. I thought the reverse.
(17:36):
If I play more and I screammore, the guy' s already
gonna put more dog. But thereare men he doesn' t like.
I was once with Chaval who whenwe broke up and aunt was very good.
And this is crazy what I'm going to say, because there
are no good animal people in bed, but he was very good in bed.
I knew how to play, youknow what I mean. And the
man Aunt made me scream, screamand I was in a time when I
(17:57):
sweated everything and screamed and when Ifinished it made me feel super bad.
And after this I had to workit because after this I stopped doing it
because he told me you scream alot. Auntie, lower your voice a
little if I have a button likethis. What a horror Baby Oscar in
the other hand criticized a lot becauseit gave me pleasure to congratulate you on
making me ta. There are menyou don' t like, man Men
(18:19):
are very much like I think.There are men listen to me you like
women, really, because sometimes Ihave doubts. You guys like women,
really in their magnitude. And thisis a demand that I make the next
one, and the next one happensto me I don' t know his
(18:40):
and it goes down They don't want the next man to come into
my life, who wants to bepart of my life in a romantic way.
That' s obvious that I knowI have to like you first and
you have to like me first becauseI think you don' t like us.
I think they like us, weput them, but they don'
t like us. And this isvery different. They fall and their colleagues,
their bros, their little friends,men like them women to see I
(19:07):
have, I have a person Iknew, kind of teenage. Okay let
' s say in my training,high school guy I know that he'
s a cissetero man facing the gallerywho' s been in a relationship for
a long time and then I knowthat, on the other hand, he
(19:33):
' s obliterating his eyes how muchhe has when he has free time.
His leisure is to meet a guyI know too, but in front of
the gallery, he' s anexact cissetero man. I' m very
sorry or I' m very sorryabout that. They' re calling,
uh, okay. I don't know. I' m so sorry
that that person doesn' t feelfree to tell his sister girlfriend. Well
(19:56):
in bad no kari Love, buya fool fol me yes or I like
both. I' m bisexual andI need to maybe open up the relationship
to experience, on the other hand, because there are certain things the harness
doesn' t give me and itgives me a clear man. Yeah,
well, yeah, and you geton a trio of Filipa and you get
(20:18):
the shit out of yourself because youdon' t know when you' re
going to leave and you want togo well enjoying this life. You'
ve made a threesome. I madea threesome and I had a terrible time.
Yes, because I had a hardtime, because I already told you
that I was always out of timeand I wasn' t ready. Okay,
I was horny, but I wasn' t ready and I didn'
t have a good time. Ididn' t have a good time.
The kid, one of the kidsfocused as much on the other. Okay.
(20:44):
The other one was trying to makeup so I wouldn' t feel.
I don' t know. Itwas kind of weird. I felt
excluded for a moment. Then theytried to get me in. I wanted
to leave, I didn' tknow how young I was, too,
and I did have a hard time. And I said never again. It
' s just that when you seein a series or in a movie,
a threesome, in that threesome,in that series, in that movie.
(21:04):
There' s perfect harmony. Thereare thirty- three three, thirty-
three, three and thirty- three. And I also made a threesome and
there weren' t thirty- three. No lie, I wasn' t
the excluded party. I felt thatthreesome as an excuse to fuck the other
person you or the one or theother or the other. I felt that
(21:29):
guy was doing it as an excuseto fuck I mean, if you call
three, I felt that this unionwas an excuse to fuck one of the
three people and the other was theone that was excluded. I gave her
mandanga ehjajaja, i e, tothe excluded woman I gave her what I
could give her and more. Butthe other person, in the end he
(21:52):
went off by himself, uh likeI wanted to leave I was uncomfortable.
I don' t know, shefell asleep and we said, we possessed,
we were and for me that wasthe biggest thing. Hey, one
of my best sexual experiences because thatperson gave it all. It' s
not like that person used to puta lot on me, but a lot
of it was like my heel.OK, there' s always one or
(22:15):
not, no, yeah, myachille heel and what a fantasy, so
look at one of the two blinds, the threesome. I don' t
think it' s anyone else again. I think you have to have a
lot of effective responsibility to be anda lot of trust. I didn'
t have it anymore. We hitall five, uh, and we saw
each other later after the time andwe followed when the five of us were
cool that responsibility that sex has iscool too good to get back to Tinder
(22:37):
Wow, I don' t knowhow Tinder is right now. Hey,
I didn' t give much thatI didn' t take it off I
don' t want it I'm afraid of it, but I don
' t think Tinder is the TinderI met in Plan tinter. Now it
' s to have followers. Yes, yes, there are many women,
especially because of what I understand youput in your instagram follow me and talk
to me around I know of afriend, a acquaintance in that friend that
(23:02):
we have coincided in various groups andso that you have told me that she
exercises her profession through Tinder. Whatis the profession is sex worker. Okay
That' s what I heard.I do too, so I' ve
heard this, but I, honestly, have had good and bad experience,
but I don' t want tobe with her anymore. I don'
t like it. But casual sexis the stretch. If you want to
(23:23):
in a sex it' s funand sometimes a little weird. Man,
look, we have to be responsiblefor diseases, and so we have to
be responsible, so it' scasual. Doesn' t mean everything'
s worth what you mean, sometimesit' s weird, a clear one.
(23:45):
I think it' s because ofmy experience, because I' ve
always given that time. And thesubject of dating, I don' t
know, I don' t knowhow to date if you want to believe
me specifically sowing it clearly, becauseI don' t know the ambiguity.
I' m not good at it, I don' t catch it and
in tinkering unless you get the hellout of it. I met several people
who are very direct and go towhat they go to me, I don
(24:06):
' t like that. Hey ifI do and I don' t understand
the ambiguity, I like the three- day courtship in case, but you
know why I mean, three days, no more, because if it'
s two weeks, it' sover from you because already what you'
re warming me up more, butyeah, in half an hour I'
m staying with you, it's just that after that I don'
t want to fuck fachas. Soif I talk to you for three days,
(24:27):
I' m coming, I'm coming, come on, ask
this little question for you she answered," Come on, follow three days
of interview and me too or alreadysure. Yeah, well, that problem
I have to piss off easier.I only went to one and conscious that
it is my most supreme mistake oflife. But I paid for it in
cario. It' s a triumph. I didn' t pay for it.
(24:48):
I paid for it. I wentto a liberal, fell in love
with a liberal. I didn't go to fall in love with a
release and paid for it very,very expensive, which I went against all
my principles. If I' mtoo stiff on this, aha, but
that premeno already. I don't have it because it has more.
I' ve already been directly joinedby people I' ve found allys totally,
but I' ve been shown bypeople with me just as they are.
I got like this good luck handicap. There are two people I'
(25:11):
ve turned you on, not letgo of. Two was horny lost,
no, no, no, thatone I did warn you and more people
and the other I said I gono more. One of you got me
out of a chain in an era. That wasn' t a bullet,
what you did to yourself. Thatwas a Basuka aunt who took it another
(25:32):
not happy for her, because itgives me penica in the background, but
girl before that, as you saidin the last episode, before I did
in my grandmother, my mother,I was yours what you want me to
tell you and that was a Basucawhat I write yes, if you are
right, that I didn' tsee it was fucking lost and going to
what I was going. But usuallysoil is not very difficult. It'
(25:55):
s very difficult that I left afacha. It' s very difficult.
On a conscience, only one fell, but yes. For me the subject
of linking is like very very complexand above all, the theme that I,
when I am in these applications,do not want a stable relationship aha.
I want sex And I' mvery complex about saying openly what hero
sex and that the other person isattracted. And this happens to me a
(26:15):
lot. I don' t knowwhy I have a move on this anymore.
Women want sex too. Only menof the systemic world also get horny
only already. I don' twant emotionality. When I get into dyeing
and applications these. I want youto put me down. Leave me They
' re giving me like bambi threedays and you' re leaving. Sure.
There will be other people who areopen. Something clearer is worth it,
(26:38):
but it' s true. Thewoman is clear that we want an
anecdote. One night I went outto party, I hooked up with a
guy and he told me you cameto my house and I said yes.
I went to his house type fiveor six in the morning you your tracata
and when your cutru tapata was over, I fucked and started putting my pants
on my shirt and I went tosay goodbye well, that goes well and
he told me you don' tgive me your TV number and so I
(27:02):
told him. It came out ofmy soul to see Ok sorry told me
or for me to become Watsa thathe got home well and I said ok
to your tele name I fulfill.I fulfill, woman of words that come
to you eye come to my house. I' ve come home. Good
night, well the next day,how are you, I don' t
(27:25):
know how I didn' t answerand I think he got a karet.
I just remember. The face thatshe put on and that she' s
the aunt is passing my face hassqueezed me and she' s already like
this Kari like an orange. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Yeah, I just want to
(27:53):
be that when I' m understandingthat then I' m looking for other
things and I like to know clear, but when they see me and I
make it very clear, I haveas it is for that, for me
the subject of linking by applications isvery rare, because I' ve had,
I' ve found men who havetold me is that you are very
direct and throws me back a directwoman, because I quote textually the word
(28:15):
that the last man with whom Ihad an interaction told me. I like
getting married, I don' tlike getting married. Yeah, it has
to be one, not to say, but not one. Yeah, I
don' t know I mean,on the part of the two of you,
you start one first or once afterthe other, okay, but I
don' t know. My biggestfear is almost something and if you waste
(28:36):
a lot of time you can fallinto almost something that this is, which
is terrifying. Yeah, yeah,yeah, go straight to the point,
kid And this thing I was tellingyou about before, it' s like
I' ve been pretty clear sincefirst dates. When someone or I don
' t like it or just putsme in or creates some interest that can
be more romantic, of course,then I am not prettier, smarter and
(28:59):
I' m sure to spread thatbecause someone else can make me dizzy for
six months. I' m sureyou do. I' m honest or
honest. Yeah, you do knowthat arcifishtar, yes they are, you
know that narcissists. Oh my Gots, these apps are full of narcissists and
life is also. Being careful isgood because it is very easy to fall
(29:22):
into and know perfectly well because readingyou is not very easy in the nets
to fall. I think it's more than on the streets. Well,
I don' t know. Ispeak with a lot of spite.
Uh, from experience of your own. It' s just like not to
be fond of him. I speakwith a lot of spite of this one
as but not having them shogate,oh my got, stay a little taste
and no contact zero. Please.I' m a very naive person.
(29:47):
I work the other way around,because I think people work on me,
I know you, and as timegoes by, they earn my trust.
I' m not like that.I know you, and since I have
it, why judge you for meis starting to be a announcer. You
have all my confidence, okay andas time goes by, as you behave,
continue to trust or get out WhenI have all the confidence in the
(30:11):
world with you, I am awonderful person and suddenly you start to behave
a way that stops you from wishingwithout me meaning why they treat me badly.
And if I haven' t doneanything, you spend two days with
me and then to see if Ihaven' t done anything, if I
' ve done anything, right,or I' m afraid you' re
narce meat. This one, you' re narsist meat. He' s
had a profile, this rock.Hey, I' ve come to think
(30:34):
that I' m a narcissist,narcissist. Yeah, they made you believe
it. I' ve come tothink about it. I said and if
I, because of course to seeis that I mix times when to me
my experience all wonderful, the gislightand call it no yes, all wonderful.
I don' t know what Idon' t know how many and
suddenly they pull out the duck.Oh, me and ay. I don
(30:56):
' t like this what I don' t know, how much it'
s worth and then they knock outyour teeth and then they eat you.
When I tell you, I've been in shit, shit, shit,
come down for reactive anxiety. It' s my other head and big
brews of alcohol at eight in themorning. It' s just that he
(31:18):
caught me living alone, because ifI' m not seeing myself, I
' m falling asleep in the batcup. So at five o' clock
puking and waking up. Two hoursafter the robe cup, i e,
pass it fatally, okay and returncontact zero break it back. I don
' t know how many, butyou know what' s going on and
I, at least I think Iwas smart. Yeah, I told you
(31:41):
and I said step three. Ipassed two to the third lucky girl.
But what happens that when I passedthose two I was already messing with her,
I mean she wouldn' t tellme ay, I don' t
know how to believe that when Idon' t. The Insidedout movie they
pulled out of two did make melook like red already was like. You
(32:07):
' re hurting him, you're making me a year. All the
time I know and I' msensing that he does it practically on purpose.
I' m gonna hook you up, I' m gonna tell you
why. This as if you happento do this, this is done,
this was no longer like, you' re hurting me, I don'
t know what. And in theend, I went out, I went
out, I went out, andone of the reasons I quit my job,
(32:28):
that I used to work with Dayana, was that person to be able
to get out of my life completelyand see that I had nothing with that
person from a long time ago.I already think it' s super brave
when the story goes up, becauseit took me a year, it didn
' t take me a months toget out and three years of therapy and
you were super, super smart,intuitive and fast, so, bravo.
(32:49):
Thank you. Yeah, I thinkI could have done it more quickly.
No man, no t are predatorsand predators. Yeah, and I'
m really sorry because I' mafraid of romantic relationships and I' m
gonna say this. That' sa trauma I have and I have to
work. I have my romantic relationshipswith people with vagina because it was my
(33:09):
first relationship and the only one witha fucking woman. Too bad, man,
yeah, yeah, totally because mysubconscious thinks I' m gonna have
a hard time with the woman.Sure, that' s usually a clear
from the trauma. One what it' s called is like a prayer of
(33:30):
post- traumatic stress, that there' s post- traumatic stress after this,
very big and real that I saidlater I don' t know how
to hook up with aunts. I' m not gonna be if I'
m with an aunt. Well,my partner is a cisieter man or and
I knew that I, my nextpartner is going to be a 17th man.
Of course, we need to getbetter. Well, of course what
(33:53):
you think I' m telling you, it' s just a pain in
the ass. Of course I don' t look at it. When I
came out of mine from my bond, I was freaked out. I say
I' m never gonna recover againand I' m just telling everybody the
bayana that I was before and thenshe' s dead. I never leave
again, but there is a partthat dies and is never born again.
This must be said and many peopletold me that no you will see,
(34:17):
there is not a piece of Youthat dies. Yeah, but Renal gets
over it, you grow up andyou' re lucky. There are people
who have no luck, let's say it, and they don'
t live. The subject is strong. Hey, this is why you'
re vermin. But it is truethat Sales overcomes you, I who know
(34:37):
you overcome it in general, butto You it does not happen that it
is like your Roman empire. Notanymore. It' s my Roman empire.
There' s no more And andit serves me so I believe and
I also have taritas of what thereare. I' m very demanding on
some things for having suffered that yesin the past. Of course, I
(34:59):
' m very intransigent and I'm becoming more extremist. That' s
right, the one for which Iwas my mother, that I was yours
I have here. That' sright, yes, there are limits that
can' t be crossed anymore andyou learn it the hard way, but
it' s true. In mycase, at least I got over it.
It took me three years of therapy, I insist, three years of
therapy suffering, but I overcame itand it is true that although one part
(35:21):
dies and another overcomes it, thereare pieces that remain sorry. Yeah,
I was telling him, I wastelling my psychologist I' m crying because
I' m not the heli Iused to be and I want to be
him before. Or I' llbe the same, Uncle, yes,
but crying like a madalena. Isaid the same thing. Uncle would say
preparing the clients there poetically. Youalready know that reminds me of this how
(35:43):
sad, because I think we allwent through this, Uncle, well there
' s everyone, because there aremen who also live this in less yes,
but it reminds me of the poormovie Creatures. I don' t
know which ones forgive me This oneof me isn' t the name of
the lord because it' s asuper weird name. I am nefarious for
languages or the filmmaker this super famouspoor creatures is Spoilers woman last year,
(36:04):
for God' s sake, it' s true for women. This is
the one who dies and is pregnantand they put the Frank Stein monster,
let' s say modern, theyput the baby' s brain in her
head and it' s like anexperiment. It' s brutal. You
have to see them are two hoursthat go super fast, okay, and
she starts out like that super naive. It' s like the evolution of
(36:27):
women in life a metaphor not ingeneral, because the film makes a lot
of reference to many things but shestarts to make like super naive. I
don' t know what else todiscover the world, because it' s
a baby in a woman' shead, an audit Vale isn' t
supposed to be learning, teaching himthings and such in life and he'
s on a spoiler ship. Again, I mean, cut that piece if
you haven' t seen Chupala andshe runs off with a narcissist Okay,
(36:54):
and she says I know he's gonna hurt me. Uh- huh,
but I have to live this adventurebecause I have to learn and tell
him. You leave me, youhave no scruple in hurting me. I
' m afraid and he tells herand she says okay, I know he
' s gonna hurt me, butI have to live this adventure. I
think we' re there. Iwould have done a check by deleting from
(37:15):
that year and a half two clothesand comings and sometimes I question it and
I don' t know if Ithink not. I think he had to
live it because he was so naive. Look at this, too It'
s like me when I' ma kid, or you' ve always
heard about when you' re atthe school door, a gentleman comes with
candy. Don' t take thecandy. Yeah, well, it'
(37:38):
s the same thing. I've got it It' s a complex
issue. On the one hand,there' s the fact that we don
' t have to suffer to grow. It' s not necessary and I
don' t have to thank myabuser for anything. Ah, in the
blows of life you have to thankhim. He told me he supports it
as one already because it was verybad and help him and he' s
(38:00):
not that I' m wrong.Mmm. No, Cary, it'
s just that I, when I' m wrong, what I do is
cry and ask you for a clearhug that you comfort me a little and
I say, please, you canstop making your life for a second and
come to the couch and hug mewhile I cry. I' m sorry
if I' m down at thetime, but because you' re wrong,
(38:21):
you don' t have to yellat me or make a fool of
me in front of your friends,so you fuck up my plans and or
punish me for not staying and gettingaway with everything is your sex instead of
me, what the fuck to getyour sexs for. I said I was
going to speak to Ja record.That' s abuse. That' s
abuse, it' s unforgivable.And I get it. I mean,
I get it and can you hearthis? Hey, what did I hear?
Hey, listen to him? Let' s hear it,' cause
(38:45):
this for you, I mean,I' m gonna try to share it
in groups. So I know youdon' t, it' s not
me that sweats, I mean,I didn' t have anything. I
don' t draw anything, becausenow I have to block it from the
Croche Group that looks you' vegot it in there, no, but
I mean, I don' thave it blocked. I' ve been
buying an account for a while.You don' t have to block it.
So contact zero and now I do, but I' m going again.
(39:10):
But on the other hand, aunthow the fuck we' re gonna
learn. It' s just thatI wouldn' t have to learn from
what bad people in the world already, but it' s that the syste
Deli I also lived a terrifying bubble, but my bubble was nef te.
I say I was always out oftime. Aunty that sexuality. He speaks
openly of sensuality, because I amfree and because I have a mind like
(39:30):
crazy and I don' t care. But a lot of things sensuality.
I haven' t lived them andhow, how you learn. I lived
in an ur I don' tknow how to relate to men. Auntie,
I' m telling you right now. You know League in person.
I don' t know. Youdon' t know either, Auntie,
but I suck that people are nice, because I' m nice. I
call an eye, or it's clear, because she' s a
(39:53):
shrink. What I' m goingto say, uh, open up more
fun everywhere. But how do youlearn that there are bad people if you
don' t know bad people andthey exist and they' re how you
grow. And this is a shrink, because it goes against the above.
But life is contradictory, like us. How you grow inside. I grew
up a lot. I had adark night of the soul, but I
(40:15):
am spiritual. Okay, I'm not one of those who' s
going to be more spiritual, withclass, obviously, and gender and race
and so forth. But I havea dark night of the soul that I
had to go through, because Iwent through life like poor creatures, singing
and dancing and I wanted the samething that you did with your psychologist.
I wanted to go back to that, I wanted to follow him as well
(40:36):
as a child, as I washappy and cheerful naive and it happened to
me. It happened to us thesame thing that happened to her, that
he found himself as a payment onthe boat that he told him you want
to see the reality of life.They started philosophizing and told him he wants
to see the reality of life andsaid yes, I want to learn.
I wanted to learn too. Itold him and he took her to a
cliff and told him from there downall that you see there is a baby
(40:58):
dying of heat and in a tear. Plus this, I think she'
s the actress. He started screaminglike a tear aunt and he got depressed.
And there was the evolution of thecharacter and the man said forgive me.
After he saw her all torn up, crying or lost, he wanted
to save the babies and told herto forgive me. But I couldn'
(41:19):
t see you so happy and naivefor life. I was angry to see
you. That' s how Ihad to show you the hardships. I
hurt you on purpose and they hurtus on purpose and you and you don
' t think about it. It' s a guilt feeling life that I
have to because of living something likethat, you get a little more bad.
I could choose and I didn't. See, this is a
(41:39):
debate. I didn' t doit too, Auntie. I had a
choice. I was able to chooseand I thought about it and said it
openly to my circle. I toldmy circle. I' m going to
be a bad person, because peoplelike me in this world have no place.
Years ago, it' s Lenny, we love you or love on
the beach. He told me you' re like a day' s troubadour,
(42:02):
like the taro' s letter,from the cup jar. You'
re very dreamy, and he saidit to me as a compliment and I
felt offended, because this world isnot made for empirical people. Dreaming people
eat you swallow you know and Ifeel. I don' t thank my
abuser for anything. I don't wish you anything bad, because I
(42:23):
' ve already overcome you and Ithink wishing you something bad is I don
' t know how to waste timejust so it' s going well for
you, I don' t knowhow narcissistic. It' s something that
' s forever in your life.Hey, it' s your life.
No, or you can get overit. He' s here for family
(42:43):
trauma. I have theories about this, but the thing is that I can
choose and I would fit a lotbecause I didn' t want to be
a troubadour, because it was atroubadour that led me to fall into the
hands of a predator who destroyed mylife. It made me change a lot
other times they' re still intactless badly. There is, of course,
and that is impossible for me tochange, because I am a very
(43:06):
laughing person, very loud, veryfunny. I don' t know,
and there are things that are gonnastay there. Yeah, but we can
always choose him. I think thatif bad people choose to be bad and
we could have the basis to bebad because we had passed everything good.
I don' t want to bebad, too. And this is also
a way to get back at mynarcissist. He wanted to change me.
(43:29):
You couldn' t say the biggestslap is being seen well. Yeah,
yeah, that' s why Iforgave him for me, not him.
Yeah, let' s hope otherpeople aren' t being hurt around,
but I forgave him for me becausethe hatred was too big. Auntie.
(43:50):
I' m not in the etabah You' ve passed the hatred.
You' re not still there inhate is brutal, uh, hate.
Yeah, I mean, I seethat person and I tickle his hands.
I' m sure you' llsee what happens. Yes, because the
years will be clear. Of courseI was forced to see that person because
spoiler look is very cool at thesame time not to mess with people from
(44:15):
your job. It' s becausemy partner, the look at work,
I' ve never done anything atwork, let' s be clear,
but it' s just that Iwas forced to see that person and listen
to me and I' m goingto tell you that. What a fucking
coincidence life, being in zero contactand going to a party where there are,
(44:37):
like, twenty zero or thirty thousandpeople, which is that of pride,
oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no,
last year' s, no,no, and that of the previous one,
too, and it sagaped it.Uh, yeah, but it was
somewhere else, in the carce it' s okay that there was no fuffu.
They were not in the previous onebetween twenty thirty thousand, not twenty
(44:59):
zero people who see me Maria Cristina, nothing. I went for a coke
cocoon because I was sick of drinkingalcohol and I was like dehydrated. I
got up, I went by myselfand I found her like this and I
said, I' m going there, right, right there literally, right
next to the other and I sawher from afar because I heard her voice
and I saw her from a distancefive meters away and in those five meters
(45:22):
I said it' s the oneyou don' t know. It'
s like you don' t knowher. He went through my side and
told me something is wrong for meto jump four spoilers cubatas high clear chance.
So yes, I live with hatredright now. I haven' t
quite gotten over it. Probably notme. I' ve talked about this
(45:44):
in therapy. I have insecurities orinsecurity, as well as I' m
like this, prepared in case you' re going to punch me with my
partner. Of course I' mjust saying come look like ah like this.
I make you so clear, it' s a mechanism of defense of
the spous trauma and I have tofinish it is I' m in therapy.
(46:05):
Yes, it does. In fact, I' m going to narcissistic
everywhere, not to say, everyrock was like the Naist narcissist saw reflash
everywhere and this is not an obsessionthat gives you trauma. I mean,
there' s so many narcissists andI, until I met him, the
girlfriend, I know none. Sowhen you know him, when you know
that person, then you don't feel like you catalogue a lot of
(46:27):
people, just as he' snot the trauma himself. He' s
just not the trauma. It's the way we have to defend ourselves,
because, of course, the firsttime you didn' t see her
and you say wait till I stilldon' t see her again and who
the fuck wants to live the samething again is crazy. Yeah, it
' s not the trauma. Idon' t think there are many,
but they' re not all,obviously not, but you' re in
(46:50):
the stage. I think, uh, I' m not a specialist at
all, but I do at thestage of spite that' s very hard
to see. I' m fine. I mean have a relationship that'
s more or less healthy. Iwant to think that Sana has her things
like all of them, because,for example, sometimes I' m like
this. It' s something Ihave to work on and I kept working
my day to day. It doesnot occupy it, but my Roman empire,
that is, three seconds once aweek. That' s strong.
(47:16):
Well, baby, you' llget over it. Yeah, yeah,
sure, obviously, you' regonna do like I said, because the
rage, I mean, it wasreally pissed off. Auntie I forgave,
I was very foolish. I mean, you' ve forgiven doing that to
the other side that you forgive.No. I don' t want that
(47:36):
person in my life or dead withso much killing It' s okay that
I, at the time, tookthe step of forgiving, but I said
clearly, but if you' realready oy, forgive me, I have
to tell him listen forgive you.Then I broke with zero touch and that
' s when the second part starts, of course, dear, zero contact,
death is the only thing that savesus. There is no one you
forgive without knowing that the other personis forgiving you. But it is that
(47:59):
sometimes and this is also a mistakeof good error that we are taught,
sometimes we have to forgive. Manytimes you have to forgive yourself without the
other person knowing that you have beenforgiven. You know how when people say
I want to close this cycle ofmy life and I want the other person
to know it, because it's the only man I' m not
a person, not baby, becauseif I' m not a bad person
like I already am, you're not taking care of yourself, uh,
(48:21):
you' re protecting yourself. Listento what happened to me. Hey
Coyote, run away, run away, because if you open the doors again,
the same thing happens again and it' s stronger. The cycle of
abuse is even harder. Yeah,until he rules you out, you got
loose in your age. Discard,discard, it' s very painful.
Ah what is the narcis and thisword excuses me very much. Yeah,
(48:43):
yeah, it' s him orher or her. Who sends everything to
your ass. Yeah,' causeyou can' t get anything out of
me anymore. He brought me everything. I' m so sorry? I
' m sorry everything, everything,good bad everything on fire now that it
' s done a little less,unfortunately, but before, before knowing him
life was wonderful t up to thecolors I felt how wonderful to be me
(49:07):
that I was villa to live,I loved to live, I still liked
it, of course, but withnuances now and more serene and I extracted
all that. And there' sa moment I didn' t feel anything.
You know the nedonia, this feelingthey feel. There are in many
mental disorders, which is a mentaldisorder also in itself, which is not
feeling the absence of all good badfeeling is worth. I didn' t
(49:30):
feel anything, I had nedonea thenanosticated you' re automaton. He was
pilot Tomáti was an automaton like him. He was an automaton, because this
rock, at the end of theday, feels nothing either. Sure,
I hate maybe and how they doit. It has to be super difficult
for them or for them or tomake the lighting gas. You don'
(49:51):
t think, of course, becauseI thought that was me, at least
under my experience, I was sayingcool is that I' m in a
love that he wants sixteen years.If I was there, too, and
if they don' t feel anything, but they make you feel, that
' s gotta be guy to aimat, or it' s dramatic art.
Or I was going to say adonkey, I' m going to
(50:15):
make more lige ros are deserted islandand leave us empaths alone, for example,
that I was going to say anothercruder donkey. But I don'
t want to, no, no, but go and identify with each other
I' ve done at five.You think, I don' t know
the truth, but you think they' re going to pull something out,
they' re going to extract someoneelse who doesn' t feel anything.
If in the end what they extractfrom us are resources and they are conscious.
(50:37):
I think so. There' sa lot of theories out there that
they' re not conscious. Ithink so. What this part of the
brain, not the inner empathy.They don' t have it activated or
developed if it' s not conscious, because I mean, they' re
not ca, they' ll say. But these people how can you think
that if I haven' t watereda PS it dies and poor pes and
helps me. No, but Iunderstand empathy. Hey man, of course
(51:00):
if they didn' t understand you, otherwise they couldn' t get to
you. I think this is alltheir positions, that we are not specialists
because they do nothing, but Ithink they do understand empathy but they do
not feel it, because if not, how they would get, how they
could get to us is impossible.Auntie, you do understand. That'
s why they manipulate and fuck andtear you apart, but not feel it.
(51:22):
And how sad to be you,honestly, deep down, how sad
to be them. That' swhat he told me. The island and
also once yes, this was nota comfort, yes, he told me,
but how sad it will be,yes, but yes, that it
is also important to tell him thatthey know what they do, because if
they do not take away guilt.And what a privilege you' ve been
(51:45):
to star with me is what thisis worth. That' s denarpissist these
kinds of comments, because I saythat and then I say my mother,
is that you have and then youare through the clouds and maybe you are
not, but I think there isone thing that is self- esteem,
that we already are, of course, but they think it' s one
thing in self- esteem that wework with conscience and at least not work
death, because it destroyed me all. And another thing is narcissism, already
(52:07):
pathological. And then I think weall have narxisists, a little not,
but no longer pathological. That's two things, I think, two
different things. I' m reallyscared to fall back not what you say
you have a trait like that,I panic a lot, I' m
really afraid to hurt someone like theydid to me. I honestly believe that
(52:28):
we are the other side of thecoin, we are the counterpart, this
rock would not exist in us couldnot and this I am even more afraid
of thinking that they need us toa certain extent, even if they make
us believe that no and that somethingcares and I put you a dish of
chickpea is that it is that itis to see how I can conceive the
(52:52):
existence of a person, that theexistence of a person is satisfactory to that
person. As long as it hurts, of course, look Kari, get
your ass kicked straight, that is, empaths think like that, of course,
(53:12):
yes, or why. And Ithink about this a lot sometimes,
uh,' cause shit happens tome and I' m a good person,
good girls you hear her do.I' ve been told that many
times in many therapists. What doyou want me to tell you, you
think being a vegetarian won' teat you a lion. No, of
course I do. We empathetics thinkso, but they have another dynamic of
thought. But I still think lifeis very unfair. Yeah, I know
(53:35):
it' s what I mean topeople I don' t know people anymore
I' m not gonna say youhave a pathology or not. But the
coldest people are the ones who dothe best now, because maybe they'
re the ones who know how toseparate the heart from the head the most.
You know, and then I seeads from the star. Dan saying
(53:58):
how intense everything is and with yourheart you do everything better. It'
s all so contradictory. I don' t think the world is macro-
made to feel, not even forpeople like us. We have to create
it. That sucks, sister,but, well, it' s strong
a little bit He hears that we' ve been here an hour It'
(54:19):
s a big deal And we haven' t talked about sex case and it
' s not true of doubts aboutyour ass. Don' t be bad
people. Please, and thank yoube well, some claim before we go
dancing, that I operate to danceif I can' t social security,
operate on him and before the prideto see if we can go bust.
(54:39):
I have six months of rehab.Postpartum. I was going to tell you
to talk post- op, butI want it to happen now, because
when they first operate on me,before the room runs out, I'
m back to being me. Ihope I know an improved version. I
hope I haven' t had suchbig sequels. Oh no positive mind,
as my grandmother tells me when Icomplain about life is her encouragement.#
(55:00):
Cheer up we love you bye#
Welcome to another daughter from the worldagain with the happy eli I am in
the days Oli, what we talkabout today. Let' s go straight
into the subject or you want tomake a presentation. How good you are
here doing doubles for you Look great. Yeah, we' re doing doubles.
We' re doing it. Iwant to start as if it were
(00:25):
a new episode, and we justwalked in the door. Good morning.
I didn' t just have coffeeto say hello how about the ungreen pile
isn' t born or two.No. I' m not quantashoks aunt.
I' m seeing a series calledextraordinari very hooked him, because I
have a problem with the Norwegian,Nordic and British series. Especially, and
(00:48):
every time I see myself, Isay it a lot, I repeat it
a lot. The crazy thing.I' m a crazy woman. Disca
I' m on stage, I' m a crazy woman, but I
' m not crazy like Ay Ameli, you know how cute Amelin' s
crazy not crazy like Neurotic with treatment, I don' t take pills,
(01:11):
but I take care of myself andevery time there' s a British series
I see myself represented in some character. You' ve seen the bridger Tones,
Queen Charlotte. Not so, QueenCharlotte goes from the love that is
created between Queen Charlotte and King George. And Jorge' s cuckoo He'
s crazy like me, well,I don' t know if he'
(01:37):
s like you, but there's Cucucucu' s painter. Well,
it' s already there. Ican' t make it, but I
' ll make you very fat.I have a move on the subject of
madness, which I love to talkabout, because I like to make things
like that visible. It' san idea, an opinion, a little
personal about madness and women. ButI' m seeing myself astro dinar and
I love the protagonist because she's like a fucking goat, she'
(02:00):
s with a shower and she doesa lot of crazy things. I'
ve had seasons so I live aloneand my house is like a center of
people coming in comes out what itwas. I had that time, the
two- year stretch I' velived alone. I' ve had that
time of doing crazy things, pipe, people among the people who come out,
(02:21):
people who do, do weird thingsin my house. Yeah, I
know. If I haven' tseen the show, run to see it
from Disney. He doesn' tpay us anything. You could pay us
for it. We' re notvery good. I mean, I make
a little croche doll of princesses cnaand billing and talking about crazy times of
(02:42):
people who trisale that the series isnot about this. But good that the
girls a little crazy, we dotalk about sex, tinder narcissists, on
fire, ay and orchard. Yes, we were talking about this now,
last week, last week, twoweeks ago. Dato, this is by
way of information for you to knowwhen a covagina woman gets pregnant and is
(03:10):
an unwanted pregnancy. In the AutonomousCommunity of Catalonia, which is where we
are, there is the ease thatinterrupting this pregnancy, that is, abortion
is free among social life. Onefact I have told Dayana the other day
is that, outside the Autonomous Communityof Catalonia, that is, in the
rest of Spain, this does notenter into the social euda. I freaked
(03:31):
out when I found out because Ididn' t know. I thought so.
So what happens if you' refrom another self- governing community that
doesn' t get such a Uñaand you have an unwanted pregnancy, because
you' ll have to pay ifyou want to abort, because five hundred
euros minimum in private. I amflirting uncle abortion free, legal and sustained
(03:54):
for all and all please, yes, what this is is a luquera,
a madness and here it influences whatthey say about the birth in Catalonia and
the rest of Spain, because maybe, in the rest of Spain there are
unwanted pregnancies, much more than theythink. Because, Kari, imagine I
made it up. I' meighteen years old, I have a lack
(04:19):
of information, I have sex education, I have a loss. I have
God do not want an abuse,a rape. Yeah, how do I
explain it to my parents when I' m eighteen, if I don'
t have a deconstructed relationship. Andall that, let' s remember what
our parents are like, to sayI' m pregnant with every fucking bitch.
(04:43):
And then I also understood in partand I' m getting into a
meregenal when there are times when itcomes out at the event in the village
of the Segura River, I justinvented the town I don' t know
if it exists. They found ababy in a container. Mother 18 years.
They found her. It' sjust a mover. Oh yes,
uncle you say daughter of your mother, to the mother of the creature,
(05:06):
is that what circumstances has become pregnant, that has passed has not six hundred
euros to abort. There' sanother way you do it. I mean,
I' m not justifying leaving ababy in the container, but of
course, it' s a rudder. I' m out there trying to
see how I get him in,' cause I got like a bunch of
(05:27):
ideas. I' m afraid toput them on. Yes, because it
' s a fear aunt and theissue of motherhood is that I' m
the issue of motherhood. It's a separate episode that I' m
going to try to have with mariloand with other people because I think I
' ll live it, I'll divide it into pieces to have as
(05:50):
various opinions and views of different opinionsof different women and people who maternal in
general, because not only do wematernal women. But fear motherhood and childbirth
is a temon eh uff and abortednor tell you and astrophytic violence, optectric
forgiveness. Yeah, they have togo out for four hours in childbirth.
This has been heard yes before thatand if you pass the four hours and
(06:10):
not the TAO, I cut youoff and that' s what there is,
you have to there the baby,why, because there are no means
of financial in which I can havea 24 hour delivery. I make it
up. I' m not amother. I mean good, but that
' s also a topic, notthe issue that and the other day,
a month ago or so I talkedto myself I' m a trade unionist,
(06:33):
I have to say yes, wetalked about racism, but what we
do we have to say I'm an indicalist, and the other day,
we talked about it in the unionand the unions I don' t
care. They are very very men' s spaces, very very very very
men' s very macho in everyway. They come from anarchists and gems
and many times ally lies and therewas a lord who was saying I was
(06:57):
already talking about this very thing aboutlabor and such and you were telling me
that you have to shut your mouthbecause you are not a mother. Because
there was a girl who is amother and she thought and I have a
totally different opinion of motherhood because ofmy experiences and another one that I already
was very shocked that this gentleman toldme to shut up because I am not
a mother, that I am fewmothers, of course, and there were
(07:17):
other girls who said hey. Butit is that we women, even if
we are not mothers, can expressour opinion on the issue of motherhood and
often try to fall like this onus not being mothers. Not him and
me, we' re not moms. Well, I' m from a
puppy, yes, but from ahuman being or not. But we can
think of a motherhood, because weare women and we know in other ways
what is maternal, of course,is not a single way. I won
(07:43):
' t listen to my mother.I' ve had an abortion at the
time years ago. I had apregnancy, it was a desired pregnancy,
and I probably aborted at the time. If I had not been in Catalonia,
I would have brushed my belt themost by hanging myself, I would
have paid the five hundred six hundredeuros. Yes, I am grateful that
(08:05):
I am in Catalonia and it willnot be even less bad that you have
had the luck aunt yes, allthese women who can not especially in pairs,
is also sent for development and aboveall the social burden of abortion,
because it is believed many times ifI am getting into the topic that I
wanted to leave for a little specific, but well we can touch it above
the topic of the social burden.A lot of women aren' t lying.
(08:26):
They fool us by saying that allwomen have maternal instincts. Bullshit on
the social burden. When you sayyou don' t want kids because you
don' t like kids and whenyou say you' ve aborted, yeah,
oh killed, I don' tknow what. I don' t
know how many or shit and ifit' s not better to say hear
(08:46):
and how you are, because whenyou get pregnant, it' s supposed
to be a hormoda change the Idon' t know what you are,
because the foods you eat melo nutrientsare no longer for you. They'
re just. I don' tknow how much percentage it will be for
gestation of this effect and another percentagefor you to suddenly stop gestation of it
(09:07):
will leave your body. It's an amazing intervention for pills or surgical
intervention, because there are two waysif we ask that woman how she is
instead of giving her charge of conscience, for example, uh, yes,
yes, what you said came tome to egg, because it is that
a friend came to mind also thattwo weeks ago we talked about this aunt,
(09:28):
is that we talked a lot andshe was telling me that I'
m not going to say your namelove, that I know you hear me,
but that story also tell her,because maybe someone else is living her
mother- in- law in aboot of that she has moved now litigation
and such with the ex in aburst of anger Alexuera threw her into the
face that she had an abortion fromthe first girl, who is obviously alive.
(09:50):
The second time is that pregnant,a miscarriage and the former mother-
in- law put her in theface that she, after aborting, got
out of bed and went out fora coffee and what happened and she was
looking at this bad mother, tellingher bad person, because of course and
she felt super guilty and I calledher a girl. But the stigma of
(10:11):
how you have to react or not. When you have an abortion or you
' re looking for it or you' re living it, no, then
I have to cry until the presumednine months that I would have given birth
in bed. There' s adepression and how you have to react,
clear and crying around the corners andtelling everyone. There are poor girls,
they judge us how we have andthat' s rape. Also uncle that
(10:35):
that' s another episode, butthe subject of rapes judge us how we
have to react to a violation Ifyou don' t react on the basis
of the standard, which is basicallywhat Hollywood sells us, movies and all
audiovisual material doesn' t matter howwe consume. It' s wrong.
I know people who have raped her. In fact, there' s a
(10:56):
series about this on Friday and Saturday. They' ve gotten up, they
' ve showered and they' vegone to work myself, myself for x
reasons that won' t come in, because I want to do a special
episode about this. But you can' t predict how a person reacts to
abortion, to rape to millions ofyou know, whether elected or not.
(11:16):
Sure, well, rape. I' m not telling the truth. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, butyou can' t predict as a
reaction based on me, like me, being impossible. Auntie or I who
know the brain is crazy, it' s a machine that we don'
t even know how it works yet. I know the fourth part, totally,
totally. I recommend that speaking ofthis abuse or rape and such in
(11:37):
Netflix, the not one more not- look is set in upper middle class
people and in children classmates I raisemyself, wealthy, but it is very
cool because to me at first Iwas grinning. But then, it turns
out that it is the medium-high greasing. There are also abuses and
violations. Sure, then I don' t like them. Son I recommend
(12:00):
her and I feel very identified withthe protagonist and I think that you too
would feel identified in the aspect ofscrewing how heavy you are this at a
time complaining about things, claiming shutup, since it is not so much
that you make it up. Thiskind of little thing that we used to
squeal at and raise our voices don' t usually happen, because I'
(12:24):
ll see her. I haven't seen her, eh, I recommend
her to you. I' llsee you. You' ll tell yourself
when the drug starts. It's a little bit, but we'
re talking about drugs. Right nowit' s good to have narcissistic sex.
I don' t even know whereto start, which is a theme,
uh ufff themes. I have alot of experience here. Yeah,
(12:45):
yeah, Tinder, I don't know,' cause I took it
off. Then I had a seasonthat was all Tinder, to Tinder,
all Tinder, I came out asuper long and traditional monogamous relationship. I
don' t know what and Ididn' t know. I in love
have always been out of time,I am always so free free, because
I think it is my nature,but not because many things I have experienced
(13:09):
it honestly and I came out asuper traditional and monogamous relationship and I didn
' t know anything about Guau sexabsolutely by telling you that I masturbated at
twenty- two for the first timeand had my first orgasm masturbating by watching
a movie by chance on a channelat three o' clock in the morning.
I was awake and I saw himand I said to you and this
is porn. I put you incontext. I' m Cuban. In
(13:31):
Cuba, these things did not existin my time, I did not have
the internet or the milk of theseand the death was learned, because in
the street with what I heard peakand trumpets. I' ve been out
of time as usual. As Ihave always said, when you have in
my neighborhood, already tequitique, Ido not why I know that I know
I go slow in life and ofcourse, I have had to learn things
(13:52):
hard and I sometimes find it difficultto relate sexually, because I did not
bury many things second time. Thefirst time I ran, okay, it
was thanks to an EHC. Verywell what you told me all this gave
me the famous satisfied 30 seconds ago. I didn' t know what it
(14:13):
was. I mean, I thoughtrunning was, because you can' t
explain. No, I don't know what you like. No,
no, no. The palpitation isgood, I explain it that way.
The palpitation is a boom boom now, uncle me now, from twenty-
seven twenty- seven years old andgiving it all since the fourteen that strong.
(14:33):
But of course I don' tknow what it' s like to
run, because there I knew clearlythe importance of sex education, that of
sex education. Many times we talkabout sensual education, contraception. I don
' t know what' s not. Sex education is also about consent and
what we like and don' tlike where to touch us and where not
to touch us. Right, andthis is masturbation. Masturbated helps us.
(14:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they' re upset people with a penis I
shove pay up their ass or theystick it in. Please let yourselves eat
your ass. This is a requestI put out to you, Adalana,
I say go away. I wantto ask that people with penises, that
is, let them fart up theirasses or shove it into themselves or whatever
they want to say don' tstart putting a scimbreil on us, but
(15:20):
uh, let' s see,but let' s eat your ass.
Yeah, you' ll see,how you' ll start coming back,
you' ll see. That's a really good clip. Please let
your ass eat and if you're already cheered up, you can shove
a finger up your ass, whatever' s lubricating with his stuff. All
right, uh, I mean you' re going to flip for it.
(15:41):
This is very straight not to seestraight. It' s not that if
you stick your dodo up my assand I find out or it scares me.
I listen to men, I'm scared. Afraid because in case
I like it and what' sthe problem is that the moment you like
it, you get an idea upyour ass. It doesn' t mean
you' re gonna see a guyand if you love him, fuck shit.
(16:03):
Sexuality in sexual choice is going alot further than getting a do in
your ass totally if it goes alot further. I discovered this with sixteen,
seventeen years. Put the dome ina man' s ass. Yeah,
I mean, it' s toopremature, I mean. What has
happened to me is that I havelearned to give pleasure very soon, but
(16:23):
I have learned to give pleasure verylate. Welcome to the women' s
world, to the women we're not with other women in general.
I think lesbians have it super good. Good guy' s like a visexual
person. Okay. I had agood time thanks to a person of the
(16:48):
same sex as me. It wasthat I discovered orgasm, which was thanks
to satisfyingyer. But I don't know what to say You enjoyed it
a lot with men and women.Hey, I enjoyed it. I'
d say I' ve freed myselfmore with women than with men, with
men. For me it has alwaysbeen a performance, it has always been
(17:11):
a state in a position that weowe the lords. It' s just
that she Breshu pussy help me,man, I don' t know.
No, no, no, no, no, don' t overdo it.
No, no, don' tshout, it' s not as
central as their pleasure, it's mine. And of course, when
I' ve been with girls,it' s different, because it'
s like a liberation from what thefuck. Sex is dirty, sex is
dirty. We' re, youknow, sweat. I thought the reverse.
(17:36):
If I play more and I screammore, the guy' s already
gonna put more dog. But thereare men he doesn' t like.
I was once with Chaval who whenwe broke up and aunt was very good.
And this is crazy what I'm going to say, because there
are no good animal people in bed, but he was very good in bed.
I knew how to play, youknow what I mean. And the
man Aunt made me scream, screamand I was in a time when I
(17:57):
sweated everything and screamed and when Ifinished it made me feel super bad.
And after this I had to workit because after this I stopped doing it
because he told me you scream alot. Auntie, lower your voice a
little if I have a button likethis. What a horror Baby Oscar in
the other hand criticized a lot becauseit gave me pleasure to congratulate you on
making me ta. There are menyou don' t like, man Men
(18:19):
are very much like I think.There are men listen to me you like
women, really, because sometimes Ihave doubts. You guys like women,
really in their magnitude. And thisis a demand that I make the next
one, and the next one happensto me I don' t know his
(18:40):
and it goes down They don't want the next man to come into
my life, who wants to bepart of my life in a romantic way.
That' s obvious that I knowI have to like you first and
you have to like me first becauseI think you don' t like us.
I think they like us, weput them, but they don'
t like us. And this isvery different. They fall and their colleagues,
their bros, their little friends,men like them women to see I
(19:07):
have, I have a person Iknew, kind of teenage. Okay let
' s say in my training,high school guy I know that he'
s a cissetero man facing the gallerywho' s been in a relationship for
a long time and then I knowthat, on the other hand, he
(19:33):
' s obliterating his eyes how muchhe has when he has free time.
His leisure is to meet a guyI know too, but in front of
the gallery, he' s anexact cissetero man. I' m very
sorry or I' m very sorryabout that. They' re calling,
uh, okay. I don't know. I' m so sorry
that that person doesn' t feelfree to tell his sister girlfriend. Well
(19:56):
in bad no kari Love, buya fool fol me yes or I like
both. I' m bisexual andI need to maybe open up the relationship
to experience, on the other hand, because there are certain things the harness
doesn' t give me and itgives me a clear man. Yeah,
well, yeah, and you geton a trio of Filipa and you get
(20:18):
the shit out of yourself because youdon' t know when you' re
going to leave and you want togo well enjoying this life. You'
ve made a threesome. I madea threesome and I had a terrible time.
Yes, because I had a hardtime, because I already told you
that I was always out of timeand I wasn' t ready. Okay,
I was horny, but I wasn' t ready and I didn'
t have a good time. Ididn' t have a good time.
The kid, one of the kidsfocused as much on the other. Okay.
(20:44):
The other one was trying to makeup so I wouldn' t feel.
I don' t know. Itwas kind of weird. I felt
excluded for a moment. Then theytried to get me in. I wanted
to leave, I didn' tknow how young I was, too,
and I did have a hard time. And I said never again. It
' s just that when you seein a series or in a movie,
a threesome, in that threesome,in that series, in that movie.
(21:04):
There' s perfect harmony. Thereare thirty- three three, thirty-
three, three and thirty- three. And I also made a threesome and
there weren' t thirty- three. No lie, I wasn' t
the excluded party. I felt thatthreesome as an excuse to fuck the other
person you or the one or theother or the other. I felt that
(21:29):
guy was doing it as an excuseto fuck I mean, if you call
three, I felt that this unionwas an excuse to fuck one of the
three people and the other was theone that was excluded. I gave her
mandanga ehjajaja, i e, tothe excluded woman I gave her what I
could give her and more. Butthe other person, in the end he
(21:52):
went off by himself, uh likeI wanted to leave I was uncomfortable.
I don' t know, shefell asleep and we said, we possessed,
we were and for me that wasthe biggest thing. Hey, one
of my best sexual experiences because thatperson gave it all. It' s
not like that person used to puta lot on me, but a lot
of it was like my heel.OK, there' s always one or
(22:15):
not, no, yeah, myachille heel and what a fantasy, so
look at one of the two blinds, the threesome. I don' t
think it' s anyone else again. I think you have to have a
lot of effective responsibility to be anda lot of trust. I didn'
t have it anymore. We hitall five, uh, and we saw
each other later after the time andwe followed when the five of us were
cool that responsibility that sex has iscool too good to get back to Tinder
(22:37):
Wow, I don' t knowhow Tinder is right now. Hey,
I didn' t give much thatI didn' t take it off I
don' t want it I'm afraid of it, but I don
' t think Tinder is the TinderI met in Plan tinter. Now it
' s to have followers. Yes, yes, there are many women,
especially because of what I understand youput in your instagram follow me and talk
to me around I know of afriend, a acquaintance in that friend that
(23:02):
we have coincided in various groups andso that you have told me that she
exercises her profession through Tinder. Whatis the profession is sex worker. Okay
That' s what I heard.I do too, so I' ve
heard this, but I, honestly, have had good and bad experience,
but I don' t want tobe with her anymore. I don'
t like it. But casual sexis the stretch. If you want to
(23:23):
in a sex it' s funand sometimes a little weird. Man,
look, we have to be responsiblefor diseases, and so we have to
be responsible, so it' scasual. Doesn' t mean everything'
s worth what you mean, sometimesit' s weird, a clear one.
(23:45):
I think it' s because ofmy experience, because I' ve
always given that time. And thesubject of dating, I don' t
know, I don' t knowhow to date if you want to believe
me specifically sowing it clearly, becauseI don' t know the ambiguity.
I' m not good at it, I don' t catch it and
in tinkering unless you get the hellout of it. I met several people
who are very direct and go towhat they go to me, I don
(24:06):
' t like that. Hey ifI do and I don' t understand
the ambiguity, I like the three- day courtship in case, but you
know why I mean, three days, no more, because if it'
s two weeks, it' sover from you because already what you'
re warming me up more, butyeah, in half an hour I'
m staying with you, it's just that after that I don'
t want to fuck fachas. Soif I talk to you for three days,
(24:27):
I' m coming, I'm coming, come on, ask
this little question for you she answered," Come on, follow three days
of interview and me too or alreadysure. Yeah, well, that problem
I have to piss off easier.I only went to one and conscious that
it is my most supreme mistake oflife. But I paid for it in
cario. It' s a triumph. I didn' t pay for it.
(24:48):
I paid for it. I wentto a liberal, fell in love
with a liberal. I didn't go to fall in love with a
release and paid for it very,very expensive, which I went against all
my principles. If I' mtoo stiff on this, aha, but
that premeno already. I don't have it because it has more.
I' ve already been directly joinedby people I' ve found allys totally,
but I' ve been shown bypeople with me just as they are.
I got like this good luck handicap. There are two people I'
(25:11):
ve turned you on, not letgo of. Two was horny lost,
no, no, no, thatone I did warn you and more people
and the other I said I gono more. One of you got me
out of a chain in an era. That wasn' t a bullet,
what you did to yourself. Thatwas a Basuka aunt who took it another
(25:32):
not happy for her, because itgives me penica in the background, but
girl before that, as you saidin the last episode, before I did
in my grandmother, my mother,I was yours what you want me to
tell you and that was a Basucawhat I write yes, if you are
right, that I didn' tsee it was fucking lost and going to
what I was going. But usuallysoil is not very difficult. It'
(25:55):
s very difficult that I left afacha. It' s very difficult.
On a conscience, only one fell, but yes. For me the subject
of linking is like very very complexand above all, the theme that I,
when I am in these applications,do not want a stable relationship aha.
I want sex And I' mvery complex about saying openly what hero
sex and that the other person isattracted. And this happens to me a
(26:15):
lot. I don' t knowwhy I have a move on this anymore.
Women want sex too. Only menof the systemic world also get horny
only already. I don' twant emotionality. When I get into dyeing
and applications these. I want youto put me down. Leave me They
' re giving me like bambi threedays and you' re leaving. Sure.
There will be other people who areopen. Something clearer is worth it,
(26:38):
but it' s true. Thewoman is clear that we want an
anecdote. One night I went outto party, I hooked up with a
guy and he told me you cameto my house and I said yes.
I went to his house type fiveor six in the morning you your tracata
and when your cutru tapata was over, I fucked and started putting my pants
on my shirt and I went tosay goodbye well, that goes well and
he told me you don' tgive me your TV number and so I
(27:02):
told him. It came out ofmy soul to see Ok sorry told me
or for me to become Watsa thathe got home well and I said ok
to your tele name I fulfill.I fulfill, woman of words that come
to you eye come to my house. I' ve come home. Good
night, well the next day,how are you, I don' t
(27:25):
know how I didn' t answerand I think he got a karet.
I just remember. The face thatshe put on and that she' s
the aunt is passing my face hassqueezed me and she' s already like
this Kari like an orange. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Yeah, I just want to
(27:53):
be that when I' m understandingthat then I' m looking for other
things and I like to know clear, but when they see me and I
make it very clear, I haveas it is for that, for me
the subject of linking by applications isvery rare, because I' ve had,
I' ve found men who havetold me is that you are very
direct and throws me back a directwoman, because I quote textually the word
(28:15):
that the last man with whom Ihad an interaction told me. I like
getting married, I don' tlike getting married. Yeah, it has
to be one, not to say, but not one. Yeah, I
don' t know I mean,on the part of the two of you,
you start one first or once afterthe other, okay, but I
don' t know. My biggestfear is almost something and if you waste
(28:36):
a lot of time you can fallinto almost something that this is, which
is terrifying. Yeah, yeah,yeah, go straight to the point,
kid And this thing I was tellingyou about before, it' s like
I' ve been pretty clear sincefirst dates. When someone or I don
' t like it or just putsme in or creates some interest that can
be more romantic, of course,then I am not prettier, smarter and
(28:59):
I' m sure to spread thatbecause someone else can make me dizzy for
six months. I' m sureyou do. I' m honest or
honest. Yeah, you do knowthat arcifishtar, yes they are, you
know that narcissists. Oh my Gots, these apps are full of narcissists and
life is also. Being careful isgood because it is very easy to fall
(29:22):
into and know perfectly well because readingyou is not very easy in the nets
to fall. I think it's more than on the streets. Well,
I don' t know. Ispeak with a lot of spite.
Uh, from experience of your own. It' s just like not to
be fond of him. I speakwith a lot of spite of this one
as but not having them shogate,oh my got, stay a little taste
and no contact zero. Please.I' m a very naive person.
(29:47):
I work the other way around,because I think people work on me,
I know you, and as timegoes by, they earn my trust.
I' m not like that.I know you, and since I have
it, why judge you for meis starting to be a announcer. You
have all my confidence, okay andas time goes by, as you behave,
continue to trust or get out WhenI have all the confidence in the
(30:11):
world with you, I am awonderful person and suddenly you start to behave
a way that stops you from wishingwithout me meaning why they treat me badly.
And if I haven' t doneanything, you spend two days with
me and then to see if Ihaven' t done anything, if I
' ve done anything, right,or I' m afraid you' re
narce meat. This one, you' re narsist meat. He' s
had a profile, this rock.Hey, I' ve come to think
(30:34):
that I' m a narcissist,narcissist. Yeah, they made you believe
it. I' ve come tothink about it. I said and if
I, because of course to seeis that I mix times when to me
my experience all wonderful, the gislightand call it no yes, all wonderful.
I don' t know what Idon' t know how many and
suddenly they pull out the duck.Oh, me and ay. I don
(30:56):
' t like this what I don' t know, how much it'
s worth and then they knock outyour teeth and then they eat you.
When I tell you, I've been in shit, shit, shit,
come down for reactive anxiety. It' s my other head and big
brews of alcohol at eight in themorning. It' s just that he
(31:18):
caught me living alone, because ifI' m not seeing myself, I
' m falling asleep in the batcup. So at five o' clock
puking and waking up. Two hoursafter the robe cup, i e,
pass it fatally, okay and returncontact zero break it back. I don
' t know how many, butyou know what' s going on and
I, at least I think Iwas smart. Yeah, I told you
(31:41):
and I said step three. Ipassed two to the third lucky girl.
But what happens that when I passedthose two I was already messing with her,
I mean she wouldn' t tellme ay, I don' t
know how to believe that when Idon' t. The Insidedout movie they
pulled out of two did make melook like red already was like. You
(32:07):
' re hurting him, you're making me a year. All the
time I know and I' msensing that he does it practically on purpose.
I' m gonna hook you up, I' m gonna tell you
why. This as if you happento do this, this is done,
this was no longer like, you' re hurting me, I don'
t know what. And in theend, I went out, I went
out, I went out, andone of the reasons I quit my job,
(32:28):
that I used to work with Dayana, was that person to be able
to get out of my life completelyand see that I had nothing with that
person from a long time ago.I already think it' s super brave
when the story goes up, becauseit took me a year, it didn
' t take me a months toget out and three years of therapy and
you were super, super smart,intuitive and fast, so, bravo.
(32:49):
Thank you. Yeah, I thinkI could have done it more quickly.
No man, no t are predatorsand predators. Yeah, and I'
m really sorry because I' mafraid of romantic relationships and I' m
gonna say this. That' sa trauma I have and I have to
work. I have my romantic relationshipswith people with vagina because it was my
(33:09):
first relationship and the only one witha fucking woman. Too bad, man,
yeah, yeah, totally because mysubconscious thinks I' m gonna have
a hard time with the woman.Sure, that' s usually a clear
from the trauma. One what it' s called is like a prayer of
(33:30):
post- traumatic stress, that there' s post- traumatic stress after this,
very big and real that I saidlater I don' t know how
to hook up with aunts. I' m not gonna be if I'
m with an aunt. Well,my partner is a cisieter man or and
I knew that I, my nextpartner is going to be a 17th man.
Of course, we need to getbetter. Well, of course what
(33:53):
you think I' m telling you, it' s just a pain in
the ass. Of course I don' t look at it. When I
came out of mine from my bond, I was freaked out. I say
I' m never gonna recover againand I' m just telling everybody the
bayana that I was before and thenshe' s dead. I never leave
again, but there is a partthat dies and is never born again.
This must be said and many peopletold me that no you will see,
(34:17):
there is not a piece of Youthat dies. Yeah, but Renal gets
over it, you grow up andyou' re lucky. There are people
who have no luck, let's say it, and they don'
t live. The subject is strong. Hey, this is why you'
re vermin. But it is truethat Sales overcomes you, I who know
(34:37):
you overcome it in general, butto You it does not happen that it
is like your Roman empire. Notanymore. It' s my Roman empire.
There' s no more And andit serves me so I believe and
I also have taritas of what thereare. I' m very demanding on
some things for having suffered that yesin the past. Of course, I
(34:59):
' m very intransigent and I'm becoming more extremist. That' s
right, the one for which Iwas my mother, that I was yours
I have here. That' sright, yes, there are limits that
can' t be crossed anymore andyou learn it the hard way, but
it' s true. In mycase, at least I got over it.
It took me three years of therapy, I insist, three years of
therapy suffering, but I overcame itand it is true that although one part
(35:21):
dies and another overcomes it, thereare pieces that remain sorry. Yeah,
I was telling him, I wastelling my psychologist I' m crying because
I' m not the heli Iused to be and I want to be
him before. Or I' llbe the same, Uncle, yes,
but crying like a madalena. Isaid the same thing. Uncle would say
preparing the clients there poetically. Youalready know that reminds me of this how
(35:43):
sad, because I think we allwent through this, Uncle, well there
' s everyone, because there aremen who also live this in less yes,
but it reminds me of the poormovie Creatures. I don' t
know which ones forgive me This oneof me isn' t the name of
the lord because it' s asuper weird name. I am nefarious for
languages or the filmmaker this super famouspoor creatures is Spoilers woman last year,
(36:04):
for God' s sake, it' s true for women. This is
the one who dies and is pregnantand they put the Frank Stein monster,
let' s say modern, theyput the baby' s brain in her
head and it' s like anexperiment. It' s brutal. You
have to see them are two hoursthat go super fast, okay, and
she starts out like that super naive. It' s like the evolution of
(36:27):
women in life a metaphor not ingeneral, because the film makes a lot
of reference to many things but shestarts to make like super naive. I
don' t know what else todiscover the world, because it' s
a baby in a woman' shead, an audit Vale isn' t
supposed to be learning, teaching himthings and such in life and he'
s on a spoiler ship. Again, I mean, cut that piece if
you haven' t seen Chupala andshe runs off with a narcissist Okay,
(36:54):
and she says I know he's gonna hurt me. Uh- huh,
but I have to live this adventurebecause I have to learn and tell
him. You leave me, youhave no scruple in hurting me. I
' m afraid and he tells herand she says okay, I know he
' s gonna hurt me, butI have to live this adventure. I
think we' re there. Iwould have done a check by deleting from
(37:15):
that year and a half two clothesand comings and sometimes I question it and
I don' t know if Ithink not. I think he had to
live it because he was so naive. Look at this, too It'
s like me when I' ma kid, or you' ve always
heard about when you' re atthe school door, a gentleman comes with
candy. Don' t take thecandy. Yeah, well, it'
(37:38):
s the same thing. I've got it It' s a complex
issue. On the one hand,there' s the fact that we don
' t have to suffer to grow. It' s not necessary and I
don' t have to thank myabuser for anything. Ah, in the
blows of life you have to thankhim. He told me he supports it
as one already because it was verybad and help him and he' s
(38:00):
not that I' m wrong.Mmm. No, Cary, it'
s just that I, when I' m wrong, what I do is
cry and ask you for a clearhug that you comfort me a little and
I say, please, you canstop making your life for a second and
come to the couch and hug mewhile I cry. I' m sorry
if I' m down at thetime, but because you' re wrong,
(38:21):
you don' t have to yellat me or make a fool of
me in front of your friends,so you fuck up my plans and or
punish me for not staying and gettingaway with everything is your sex instead of
me, what the fuck to getyour sexs for. I said I was
going to speak to Ja record.That' s abuse. That' s
abuse, it' s unforgivable.And I get it. I mean,
I get it and can you hearthis? Hey, what did I hear?
Hey, listen to him? Let' s hear it,' cause
(38:45):
this for you, I mean,I' m gonna try to share it
in groups. So I know youdon' t, it' s not
me that sweats, I mean,I didn' t have anything. I
don' t draw anything, becausenow I have to block it from the
Croche Group that looks you' vegot it in there, no, but
I mean, I don' thave it blocked. I' ve been
buying an account for a while.You don' t have to block it.
So contact zero and now I do, but I' m going again.
(39:10):
But on the other hand, aunthow the fuck we' re gonna
learn. It' s just thatI wouldn' t have to learn from
what bad people in the world already, but it' s that the syste
Deli I also lived a terrifying bubble, but my bubble was nef te.
I say I was always out oftime. Aunty that sexuality. He speaks
openly of sensuality, because I amfree and because I have a mind like
(39:30):
crazy and I don' t care. But a lot of things sensuality.
I haven' t lived them andhow, how you learn. I lived
in an ur I don' tknow how to relate to men. Auntie,
I' m telling you right now. You know League in person.
I don' t know. Youdon' t know either, Auntie,
but I suck that people are nice, because I' m nice. I
call an eye, or it's clear, because she' s a
(39:53):
shrink. What I' m goingto say, uh, open up more
fun everywhere. But how do youlearn that there are bad people if you
don' t know bad people andthey exist and they' re how you
grow. And this is a shrink, because it goes against the above.
But life is contradictory, like us. How you grow inside. I grew
up a lot. I had adark night of the soul, but I
(40:15):
am spiritual. Okay, I'm not one of those who' s
going to be more spiritual, withclass, obviously, and gender and race
and so forth. But I havea dark night of the soul that I
had to go through, because Iwent through life like poor creatures, singing
and dancing and I wanted the samething that you did with your psychologist.
I wanted to go back to that, I wanted to follow him as well
(40:36):
as a child, as I washappy and cheerful naive and it happened to
me. It happened to us thesame thing that happened to her, that
he found himself as a payment onthe boat that he told him you want
to see the reality of life.They started philosophizing and told him he wants
to see the reality of life andsaid yes, I want to learn.
I wanted to learn too. Itold him and he took her to a
cliff and told him from there downall that you see there is a baby
(40:58):
dying of heat and in a tear. Plus this, I think she'
s the actress. He started screaminglike a tear aunt and he got depressed.
And there was the evolution of thecharacter and the man said forgive me.
After he saw her all torn up, crying or lost, he wanted
to save the babies and told herto forgive me. But I couldn'
(41:19):
t see you so happy and naivefor life. I was angry to see
you. That' s how Ihad to show you the hardships. I
hurt you on purpose and they hurtus on purpose and you and you don
' t think about it. It' s a guilt feeling life that I
have to because of living something likethat, you get a little more bad.
I could choose and I didn't. See, this is a
(41:39):
debate. I didn' t doit too, Auntie. I had a
choice. I was able to chooseand I thought about it and said it
openly to my circle. I toldmy circle. I' m going to
be a bad person, because peoplelike me in this world have no place.
Years ago, it' s Lenny, we love you or love on
the beach. He told me you' re like a day' s troubadour,
(42:02):
like the taro' s letter,from the cup jar. You'
re very dreamy, and he saidit to me as a compliment and I
felt offended, because this world isnot made for empirical people. Dreaming people
eat you swallow you know and Ifeel. I don' t thank my
abuser for anything. I don't wish you anything bad, because I
(42:23):
' ve already overcome you and Ithink wishing you something bad is I don
' t know how to waste timejust so it' s going well for
you, I don' t knowhow narcissistic. It' s something that
' s forever in your life.Hey, it' s your life.
No, or you can get overit. He' s here for family
(42:43):
trauma. I have theories about this, but the thing is that I can
choose and I would fit a lotbecause I didn' t want to be
a troubadour, because it was atroubadour that led me to fall into the
hands of a predator who destroyed mylife. It made me change a lot
other times they' re still intactless badly. There is, of course,
and that is impossible for me tochange, because I am a very
(43:06):
laughing person, very loud, veryfunny. I don' t know,
and there are things that are gonnastay there. Yeah, but we can
always choose him. I think thatif bad people choose to be bad and
we could have the basis to bebad because we had passed everything good.
I don' t want to bebad, too. And this is also
a way to get back at mynarcissist. He wanted to change me.
(43:29):
You couldn' t say the biggestslap is being seen well. Yeah,
yeah, that' s why Iforgave him for me, not him.
Yeah, let' s hope otherpeople aren' t being hurt around,
but I forgave him for me becausethe hatred was too big. Auntie.
(43:50):
I' m not in the etabah You' ve passed the hatred.
You' re not still there inhate is brutal, uh, hate.
Yeah, I mean, I seethat person and I tickle his hands.
I' m sure you' llsee what happens. Yes, because the
years will be clear. Of courseI was forced to see that person because
spoiler look is very cool at thesame time not to mess with people from
(44:15):
your job. It' s becausemy partner, the look at work,
I' ve never done anything atwork, let' s be clear,
but it' s just that Iwas forced to see that person and listen
to me and I' m goingto tell you that. What a fucking
coincidence life, being in zero contactand going to a party where there are,
(44:37):
like, twenty zero or thirty thousandpeople, which is that of pride,
oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no,
last year' s, no,no, and that of the previous one,
too, and it sagaped it.Uh, yeah, but it was
somewhere else, in the carce it' s okay that there was no fuffu.
They were not in the previous onebetween twenty thirty thousand, not twenty
(44:59):
zero people who see me Maria Cristina, nothing. I went for a coke
cocoon because I was sick of drinkingalcohol and I was like dehydrated. I
got up, I went by myselfand I found her like this and I
said, I' m going there, right, right there literally, right
next to the other and I sawher from afar because I heard her voice
and I saw her from a distancefive meters away and in those five meters
(45:22):
I said it' s the oneyou don' t know. It'
s like you don' t knowher. He went through my side and
told me something is wrong for meto jump four spoilers cubatas high clear chance.
So yes, I live with hatredright now. I haven' t
quite gotten over it. Probably notme. I' ve talked about this
(45:44):
in therapy. I have insecurities orinsecurity, as well as I' m
like this, prepared in case you' re going to punch me with my
partner. Of course I' mjust saying come look like ah like this.
I make you so clear, it' s a mechanism of defense of
the spous trauma and I have tofinish it is I' m in therapy.
(46:05):
Yes, it does. In fact, I' m going to narcissistic
everywhere, not to say, everyrock was like the Naist narcissist saw reflash
everywhere and this is not an obsessionthat gives you trauma. I mean,
there' s so many narcissists andI, until I met him, the
girlfriend, I know none. Sowhen you know him, when you know
that person, then you don't feel like you catalogue a lot of
(46:27):
people, just as he' snot the trauma himself. He' s
just not the trauma. It's the way we have to defend ourselves,
because, of course, the firsttime you didn' t see her
and you say wait till I stilldon' t see her again and who
the fuck wants to live the samething again is crazy. Yeah, it
' s not the trauma. Idon' t think there are many,
but they' re not all,obviously not, but you' re in
(46:50):
the stage. I think, uh, I' m not a specialist at
all, but I do at thestage of spite that' s very hard
to see. I' m fine. I mean have a relationship that'
s more or less healthy. Iwant to think that Sana has her things
like all of them, because,for example, sometimes I' m like
this. It' s something Ihave to work on and I kept working
my day to day. It doesnot occupy it, but my Roman empire,
that is, three seconds once aweek. That' s strong.
(47:16):
Well, baby, you' llget over it. Yeah, yeah,
sure, obviously, you' regonna do like I said, because the
rage, I mean, it wasreally pissed off. Auntie I forgave,
I was very foolish. I mean, you' ve forgiven doing that to
the other side that you forgive.No. I don' t want that
(47:36):
person in my life or dead withso much killing It' s okay that
I, at the time, tookthe step of forgiving, but I said
clearly, but if you' realready oy, forgive me, I have
to tell him listen forgive you.Then I broke with zero touch and that
' s when the second part starts, of course, dear, zero contact,
death is the only thing that savesus. There is no one you
forgive without knowing that the other personis forgiving you. But it is that
(47:59):
sometimes and this is also a mistakeof good error that we are taught,
sometimes we have to forgive. Manytimes you have to forgive yourself without the
other person knowing that you have beenforgiven. You know how when people say
I want to close this cycle ofmy life and I want the other person
to know it, because it's the only man I' m not
a person, not baby, becauseif I' m not a bad person
like I already am, you're not taking care of yourself, uh,
(48:21):
you' re protecting yourself. Listento what happened to me. Hey
Coyote, run away, run away, because if you open the doors again,
the same thing happens again and it' s stronger. The cycle of
abuse is even harder. Yeah,until he rules you out, you got
loose in your age. Discard,discard, it' s very painful.
Ah what is the narcis and thisword excuses me very much. Yeah,
(48:43):
yeah, it' s him orher or her. Who sends everything to
your ass. Yeah,' causeyou can' t get anything out of
me anymore. He brought me everything. I' m so sorry? I
' m sorry everything, everything,good bad everything on fire now that it
' s done a little less,unfortunately, but before, before knowing him
life was wonderful t up to thecolors I felt how wonderful to be me
(49:07):
that I was villa to live,I loved to live, I still liked
it, of course, but withnuances now and more serene and I extracted
all that. And there' sa moment I didn' t feel anything.
You know the nedonia, this feelingthey feel. There are in many
mental disorders, which is a mentaldisorder also in itself, which is not
feeling the absence of all good badfeeling is worth. I didn' t
(49:30):
feel anything, I had nedonea thenanosticated you' re automaton. He was
pilot Tomáti was an automaton like him. He was an automaton, because this
rock, at the end of theday, feels nothing either. Sure,
I hate maybe and how they doit. It has to be super difficult
for them or for them or tomake the lighting gas. You don'
(49:51):
t think, of course, becauseI thought that was me, at least
under my experience, I was sayingcool is that I' m in a
love that he wants sixteen years.If I was there, too, and
if they don' t feel anything, but they make you feel, that
' s gotta be guy to aimat, or it' s dramatic art.
Or I was going to say adonkey, I' m going to
(50:15):
make more lige ros are deserted islandand leave us empaths alone, for example,
that I was going to say anothercruder donkey. But I don'
t want to, no, no, but go and identify with each other
I' ve done at five.You think, I don' t know
the truth, but you think they' re going to pull something out,
they' re going to extract someoneelse who doesn' t feel anything.
If in the end what they extractfrom us are resources and they are conscious.
(50:37):
I think so. There' sa lot of theories out there that
they' re not conscious. Ithink so. What this part of the
brain, not the inner empathy.They don' t have it activated or
developed if it' s not conscious, because I mean, they' re
not ca, they' ll say. But these people how can you think
that if I haven' t watereda PS it dies and poor pes and
helps me. No, but Iunderstand empathy. Hey man, of course
(51:00):
if they didn' t understand you, otherwise they couldn' t get to
you. I think this is alltheir positions, that we are not specialists
because they do nothing, but Ithink they do understand empathy but they do
not feel it, because if not, how they would get, how they
could get to us is impossible.Auntie, you do understand. That'
s why they manipulate and fuck andtear you apart, but not feel it.
(51:22):
And how sad to be you,honestly, deep down, how sad
to be them. That' swhat he told me. The island and
also once yes, this was nota comfort, yes, he told me,
but how sad it will be,yes, but yes, that it
is also important to tell him thatthey know what they do, because if
they do not take away guilt.And what a privilege you' ve been
(51:45):
to star with me is what thisis worth. That' s denarpissist these
kinds of comments, because I saythat and then I say my mother,
is that you have and then youare through the clouds and maybe you are
not, but I think there isone thing that is self- esteem,
that we already are, of course, but they think it' s one
thing in self- esteem that wework with conscience and at least not work
death, because it destroyed me all. And another thing is narcissism, already
(52:07):
pathological. And then I think weall have narxisists, a little not,
but no longer pathological. That's two things, I think, two
different things. I' m reallyscared to fall back not what you say
you have a trait like that,I panic a lot, I' m
really afraid to hurt someone like theydid to me. I honestly believe that
(52:28):
we are the other side of thecoin, we are the counterpart, this
rock would not exist in us couldnot and this I am even more afraid
of thinking that they need us toa certain extent, even if they make
us believe that no and that somethingcares and I put you a dish of
chickpea is that it is that itis to see how I can conceive the
(52:52):
existence of a person, that theexistence of a person is satisfactory to that
person. As long as it hurts, of course, look Kari, get
your ass kicked straight, that is, empaths think like that, of course,
(53:12):
yes, or why. And Ithink about this a lot sometimes,
uh,' cause shit happens tome and I' m a good person,
good girls you hear her do.I' ve been told that many
times in many therapists. What doyou want me to tell you, you
think being a vegetarian won' teat you a lion. No, of
course I do. We empathetics thinkso, but they have another dynamic of
thought. But I still think lifeis very unfair. Yeah, I know
(53:35):
it' s what I mean topeople I don' t know people anymore
I' m not gonna say youhave a pathology or not. But the
coldest people are the ones who dothe best now, because maybe they'
re the ones who know how toseparate the heart from the head the most.
You know, and then I seeads from the star. Dan saying
(53:58):
how intense everything is and with yourheart you do everything better. It'
s all so contradictory. I don' t think the world is macro-
made to feel, not even forpeople like us. We have to create
it. That sucks, sister,but, well, it' s strong
a little bit He hears that we' ve been here an hour It'
(54:19):
s a big deal And we haven' t talked about sex case and it
' s not true of doubts aboutyour ass. Don' t be bad
people. Please, and thank yoube well, some claim before we go
dancing, that I operate to danceif I can' t social security,
operate on him and before the prideto see if we can go bust.
(54:39):
I have six months of rehab.Postpartum. I was going to tell you
to talk post- op, butI want it to happen now, because
when they first operate on me,before the room runs out, I'
m back to being me. Ihope I know an improved version. I
hope I haven' t had suchbig sequels. Oh no positive mind,
as my grandmother tells me when Icomplain about life is her encouragement.#
(55:00):
Cheer up we love you bye#
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