April 23, 2025 • 35 mins
welcome to a new episode series called "SIP & SPILL" where my sister will be joining in on conversations about advice, friendship breakups, relationships and more! We hope you enjoy & make sure to follow our socials below:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hello, you guys, Welcome back to another episode of the
Hawkgirl Energy Podcast. I'm your host, Kayleie, and this is
your weekly reminder that it's a new day, a new week,
a new mindset.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
What I just feel like you're looking at me?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome, Welcome back to another episode. I couldn't even finish
because the sister energy in here is just given laughs
right now. I don't know, it just is. But welcome
to a new series. We are starting a Sip and
Spill Sister edition where we're going to be spilling the
tea and giving our best advice when it comes to anything.
(00:50):
We actually just created an Instagram story on our Instagram
page where we wanted you guys to ask any questions
that you guys might have so for future reference, we're
going to be doing this on a monthly basis. If
you guys want to be involved in, just input any
questions or any advice you guys want from us when
it comes to what do we talk about? Relationships, self care, advice,
(01:11):
glow ups, just like anything?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, living your best life?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
So.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, we just figured we'd kind of introduced the topic
of this episode that we're going to be doing moving
forward once a month, and I really hope you guys
enjoy this new episode series that we're going to be starting.
But because we called it Sip and Spill, we'd like
to shout out.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Chat GBT for creating this title.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Honestly, we just went on chat GBT and we're like,
what's a cute like sister episode idea? And they thought of, well, whoever,
CHATJEBT isill Sip and Spill. So I'm like, that's cute
because we could get drinks and just kind of like,
I don't know, tied into the episode series. So today's
drink of choice is a poppy. We love poppy so much.
(01:56):
I don't know if you guys have ever tried it.
We're having the cherry lime flavored, like, yeah, we're obsessed
with poppies, Like I have one probably like three times
a week. Same, Yeah, it's pretty bad. What's your favorite
flavor though.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'd say either the cherry limeaid or the cranberry one
that's limited edition.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh my god, the fizz Cranberry fizz that probably yeah,
that actually I think is my favorite.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I just love cranberry anything. Yeah, Cranberry ginger ale my
go to and I was like, I gotta switch it up,
and now I'm obsessed with the poppies.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, me too. Cherry lime Maaid is also one of
my favorites. The Cranberry Fizz is also very good. I
also love the strawberry lemonade in my opinion because I'm
a huge lemonade girl. But they do have a lot
of flavors in the States that I still have not
tried that I do think would be really good. Like
they have blueberry. I think they have some type of
like row one lemon lime, lemon lime.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
That one we actually have tried. The rose one, the
pink rose. Yeah, so good. So whenever we go to
the States, we usually like stock up on different flavors
of poppies that we can't get here. I'm hoping eventually
they'll come here. Like right now, we only have those
flavors that I mentioned.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
We actually Costco.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Costco sells the blueberry and.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Level I know I have to tell you about that.
I have to get they have a case of it now,
we know right now, like at our like local grocery stores,
we have like the actual boxes of the orange, the strawberry, cherry, Lund,
Doctor Pop not even the cherry Lime made Cherry Lime
just launch at Costco. Right, I've right, you're right doctor
(03:34):
pop Poppy is it called? Yeah, and it's like a
doctor cooler, Yeah, doctor peppers. Those are the only ones,
which is unfortunate because we're both poppy lovers.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, but if you guys have never heard of poppy. Essentially,
it's like a healthier alternative to soda. So there's only
like three to four grams of sugar. I believe it
actually has apple cider vinegar in it as well, So
there's a lot of like pros to it just being
like a good alternative if you're that kind of person
that just like wants to cut out soda, Like I
don't know the last time I had soda.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, no, you honestly like it makes you not feel
the need no soda.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Which is great because there's so much sugar in soda. Guys.
Like one time I just looked at like a can
of coke to see how much sugar is actually in it,
and I think it was thirty two grams of sugar. Wow,
thirty two grams. That's crazy. So anyways, it's just so
good alternative. So that is our drink. Of the day,
But we thought it could be fun to have this
as like part of the episode because we thought, you know,
(04:28):
there's so many fun drinks that we could try, Like
we've been trying Macha lately. We've been trying different coffee
orders at like Starbucks and just like different like local
coffee shops. So we just thought that could be a
fun way to like tie into the conversation about sipping
a drink. So anyways, we're gonna get into some of
the questions that you guys sent us over. Actually, let's
(04:48):
first do a little introduction of my sister being here.
I think she's been on an episode here before, but yeah,
not for a while. Yeah, maybe say your name, your age,
and yeah, well you just finished, Yeah, a little bit
about yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Well hi everyone. If you don't know me, my name
is Madison. Kaylee usually calls me Maddie. I am twenty
five years old. I just turned twenty five in March.
What else, I just finished my masters, So I've been
in school for quite some time. Me and Kayley have
been always working together for quite a while, but I
think I just haven't had the time with school to
(05:23):
actually dedicate the time to working with her, and now
I do now that I'm done school, which is nice.
So yeah, I did my undergrad for four years and
then did another two years and just finish my masters,
which is exciting. I don't really know that's good. No,
I think that's good.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Me and my sister do have a pretty close relationship,
and we're going to get into some questions here in
regards to a relationship with your family or with your sister,
and like how to stay close with the sibling. That
was actually one of our questions that someone had to ask. Yeah, oh,
I guess it was a common question that people. That's
which is good because, to be fully transparent, my sister
(06:03):
and I were not always close, and I think that's
a pretty common thing when it comes to siblings. Like
when we were younger, I would say when I was
like starting out in high school and Madison was like
just getting into the same school as me.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
So like when I started grade and a grade eleven,
is it when we started getting close or when we no?
When we weren't.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Close all the time I was in grade eleven, you
were in grade seven.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
When you think about it, I feel like every older
sister doesn't really love their younger sister. Yeah, only because
like I just wanted to be just like her, right,
and she kind of saw that as like me trying
to copy her.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Literally, ever since I was seven years old, there's videos
that I look back at where my sister's like what
three or four, and like I would pick, like, okay,
I want purple pajamas, and Madison's like I want purple
pajamas too, and I'm like, oh my gosh, you can't
copy me, Madison. But like when you look back at
it now, now we always copy each other and we
want to copy each other.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Just bought like two of the exact same bags and
like neither of us care like she thought of the idea.
I was like, wait, I kind of love that.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I actually want whatever she buys.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
She like each other's influence. Yeah, she literally did not
even influence when you influence me. All the time, she'll
show me something that she bought. Even on Amazon, we'll
like buy each other's We have like.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
The same Amazon account. So sometimes I'll have something in
my cart that I'm gonna buy and then it'll be
gone and my sister will be like, oh yeah, sorry,
I already bought it. I like, oh, well, now I
have to readd it to my car.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
It's funny because we just like influence each other. But
like when you think of things back then, it definitely
wasn't always that way. And I want to say, like
when we when we were younger, I think there was
always a bond, but like we always butted heads. But
I think when it was like really bad is when
I was older and I kind of understood, you know,
I was older, and I just felt like you weren't cool,
right because you're so much younger than me, because we
(07:50):
are four years apart, right, so it's not like, you know,
we have a two year age gap where like we
kind of were in the same phase or same air
on her life. I feel like four years is a
pretty big difference where you can start to notice that
like I'm in high school versus you're still in elementary school.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, And also too,
like I feel like when you, for example, started college
and when I was in I was still in high school.
Like I just feel like at that point, especially at
when you're four years apart, there's definitely different levels of
maturity one hundred percent. So yeah, I think that was
kind of the main reason why we were butting heads.
(08:24):
But it was never like we were.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Like cover in a bad place like no, no hated
each other.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It was just it was, honestly always like the same
constant fights we'd have, Like I think, I don't I
didn't even think of.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Like what are you bringing up right now?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Oh, I can think of a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
See, I don't have a good memory of that kind
of stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well, I remember you threw a phone at.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
That's the most relatable thing I've ever No, I don't
remember throwing a phone at you.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I think, well, clearly you did something me off. Anyways,
long story short, the relationship was not always where it
was now. I think, you know, we always had a connection,
but like it was never as strong as what it
is now. Like I think what brought us closer is honestly,
like the maturity level and growing up, as you said,
(09:18):
Like I feel like because at a certain age, like
you grow at different rates, right like you were, you know,
still pretty young, especially when I was in college and
you were in high school. I would say, honestly, when
Madison got to university and I had a full time job,
we did actually start working together for my dad's company
for a period of time. And I do think that
kind of brought us closer together in a sense because
(09:41):
being around each other a bit more than just at home,
and like working together. I also find like working in
an environment with another person, like, yeah, you really get
to know the person, right, Like so I thought.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I also think that the point in our lives where
I personally feel like we got the closest was when
you moved out. Yeah, that's when I think is that
is alsois because I feel like we we didn't really
realize how much we enjoyed each other's company until we
(10:15):
didn't live together anymore. And I think that brought us
closer than ever because we actually made the effort to
you know, we FaceTime every day now, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Literally and literally more than everything. Yeah, probably ten times
a day.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, but like it just I think it just made
us closer because we weren't, you know, living together anymore,
so we just wanted to be together all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah. And I think like if you don't have a sister,
like think of your best best friend that you can
think of that you may have a really close relationship
with that you constantly call for advice or you constantly
call for literally anything, just to just talk like that's
the best comparison I would save to a sister. I mean,
I think personally for me, like I obviously have best
friends who are my age I am very close with,
(11:01):
but there's nothing like a bond when it's family. I
don't know, there's something it's hard to like you can
compare it to it, but in a sense, it's hard
to like compare to that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Well, it's also too like she's the only person in
my life who's literally had the almost the exact same
experiences growing up, right, Yeah, we share the same parents,
so it's like how I grew up is how she
grew up. And I can't remember where I saw this,
maybe on TikTok, but I remember somebody talking about like
(11:32):
the reason, like the bond with your sibling is so
strong is because typically, like you know, the way you
grow up sets you up for how you live in
the future, and you know, no one compares to your
sibling in terms of how you grew up, Like if
your sibling experienced trauma, you experienced trauma, you know. Like
(11:55):
I mean, obviously, like that's a bit more broad and
doesn't apply to every situation, but I think more the
point is is that you know, you guys have been
through almost everything together.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, And I think, like building a relationship with your sibling,
I think the best thing to do is really just
find things that you have common. So for us, like
we both love to work out, so I feel like
a lot of the cases will be us, like booking
a workout class together. We also both played the same
sport growing up, so Madison plays soccer. I used to
play soccer, So sometimes we'll go play a soccer game together,
(12:30):
usually in the summer. You know, other things is just
obviously girly things like going shopping together, going to get
our nails done together, Like find things that you both
have a lot in common in and like try and
experience those things together.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, because it also makes doing whatever that thing is
more fun.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
When Yeah, and it's a bonding experience and like I
feel like that's kind of something or a way to
like create a bond between each other and get closer.
So that would probably be my top recommendation if you're
trying to build a stronger relationship with your sibling. Another
question we got asked a lot was about like friendship
breakups and like making friends in your twenties, how to
handle your early twenties all that, and I think we
(13:10):
can both agree that we've both been through our own
friendship breakups. I think it's a very common thing that
happens to people, especially in your twenties, because it's such
a roller coaster. We've talked about this in you know,
other episodes where you know, your twenties are supposed to
be a roller coaster of emotions and a roller coaster
(13:30):
of a time. I do think you do grow a lot,
and you do change a lot from the beginning of
your twenties to the end. And you know, Madison's twenty five,
so she's still in her twenties. But I do think
there's been a lot of different friendships even in the
five years of your twenties. And I think about, you know,
my early twenties versus now, like I actually had a
recent friendship breakup that I actually just thought about, looking
(13:52):
at Madison right now when didn't even talk to her
about this. With my wedding, I had someone who didn't show.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Up to my wedding.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, and yeah, it was a very sticky situation. I
actually haven't spoken to her since, and I'm not that
kind of person where I'm gonna purposely ignore you in
a situation like if she's at you know, a gathering
that you know someone is hosted, like a friend's night
or something like if she approaches me and she says, hey,
how are you, Like, I'm gonna say hi, I'm good
(14:22):
you like a I don't want to say act like
everything's okay. But I'm not gonna go out of my
way to make plans with this girl. I'm not gonna
go out of my way to like, you know, see
her or anything like that. So for me, I guess
the way I'm dealing with this recent friendship breakup is
just like not giving her like my time and energy,
you know what I mean, Like I'm not going to
reach out, I'm not going to text her Like Obviously,
a wedding is a huge part of your life and
(14:43):
it's like one of the biggest milestones that you have,
and I think it was like very frustrating to have
someone that was a part of my life for a
long period of time and like kind of create a Yeah,
I guess there was also more to just the wedding, obviously,
Like there was more to just that, Like there was
things over time that, you know, she chose her job
over her friendships, which is so fine, but she kind
(15:06):
of distanced herself from everybody, like she really was not
trying to create a friendship with anyone, Like as soon
as COVID hit, like she was really just like a homebody,
which again everyone was kind of like in that phase.
But then once she got this job that allowed her
to travel a lot, she kind of just like completely
forgot about everyone in our friendship circle and didn't make
the effort to seeing people, and like I would reach
(15:27):
out and she never really got back to me, and
so there was just like a lack of effort in
both ways. So I mean, obviously friendship breakups are never
easy and it's not easy to deal with, but I
think it's always important to keep your head high and
always be the bigger person and just you know, if
you see that person, don't feel uncomfortable in that situation.
I think it's important just to be like, hey, how
(15:49):
are you, how are things Like at the end of
the day, you can still have a civil conversation and
see how they are and all that. We don't need
to create any drama by avoiding the person completely and
just almost creating a scene by not doing anything right,
Like I still would welcome her to a conversation, but
you know, now that the friendship isn't there, I wouldn't
go out of my way to like I don't know,
like yeah, connect her to like my birthday party or whatever,
(16:11):
like having a girl's night like I probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I know for me, And I don't know if anybody
else can relate to this, And I know Kaylee will
know exactly what I'm talking about, But I feel like
for me, throughout my twenties, I've personally grown a lot.
And one thing that I used to do that I mean,
i'd say I still do, but not as much anymore,
(16:37):
is I kind of let people walk all over me
a bit. I'm not very I'm not the most confrontational person,
and that's something I'm working on and I'm growing and
learning about that and what that means for you know,
what I want and a friend and in a friendship.
But I think at the beginning of my twenties, I
(16:58):
had friends who kind of took advantage of my kindness
and that I didn't really appreciate. And it wasn't even
me who would see it, but it was the people
that I loved who would see it, like Kaylee would
always talk about that. My mom would always bring that
up to me, and I think over the course of
(17:19):
my twenties, as I was growing and maturing, I realized that,
you know, that wasn't a healthy friendship, and that's not
what I wanted in a friendship, because friendships are about,
you know, growing together and being there for each other,
and you were standing up for each other. It's not
about you know, putting someone down, belittling them, taking advantage.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
And friendships them doesn't mean that it's like you have
to constantly see each other like every week and all that.
Like I have friends who don't even live here, who
live in other parts of Canada, and you know, I
always just try and make sure I make the effort
at least like every few weeks, just to like touch base,
saying hey, how are you, how are things? Like we
should do a face time call. Like it's just like
those little things of putting in the effort. So my
(18:03):
friend is in a different phase in her life. She
just had a baby boy, and you know, I know
having a kid has been a part of her whole life.
So I don't want to you know, feel like we
have to see each other every week, because I know,
like that's a whole different world for her right now.
And we'll touch base on the pressure of you know,
having kids and all that and just the pressure of
being in your twenties in the next question. But what
(18:25):
I've realized is that, like I don't need to see
her every week or every single day in order to
like maintain our friendship at the end of the day,
as long as you guys are both making the effort
and seeing each other and like making the time for
each other, even if again it's just a FaceTime call
or whatever, Like, I still think that creates a strong
bond in a friendship. And then making friends in your twenties,
I definitely think is something that I've recently done and
(18:48):
I think I've mentioned it here on the podcast, But
I've made a lot of friends through just workout classes
and finding people who have so much in common with
me as well, which is so nice and so refreshing,
because you know, I have my friend group that I
enjoy being with, but I think we're friends for you
have friends for different reasons, and I think that's another reason.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
But I think also to kind of touching on like
you know, as Kaylee mentioned, making friends through you know,
going to workouts and stuff like that. I know for
me and I know for Kally as well. All of
our long time friends have been made through sports that yes, yes,
growing up. So who knows, maybe there's a sport that
(19:27):
you are thinking about joining or an activity that you're
thinking about doing with especially.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Well I think that's another example, right, So it's like
if me going to workout classes is like kind of
considering my going to an activity. That's why I'm creating
a bomb with someone. So if you're the kind of
person that maybe doesn't like to work out, but you
like sports like playing tennis or pickleball or soccer or basketball,
join a team. I'm sure you'll meet a you know,
(19:52):
a friend through.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
There where you guys both have already, like how Kaylee
was saying, sometimes we get so busy with our li
that we don't really have the time to hang out.
Majority of the time when I see my friends, it's
at a soccer game or it's at a workout studio
where it's like, you know, you're not really it's not
really a hangout like where it was planned. But you're
(20:14):
still seeing each other and able to like maybe get
coffee after, do something after.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
But I think this is like, that's what a reality
of spending time with friends, because as you get older,
your life gets busy. Work becomes a priority, family becomes
a priority, like living life in general. In your twenties,
it's not like when you were when you were eighteen
or when you're seventeen, where you know, after school you
can like, Okay, come over, like let's hang out, let's
do homework together. It's not the same anymore, right, So
(20:42):
doing these little activities and hobbies like working out or
going on walks together, anything that like you can get
coffee together, yes, exactly. I think that's like the key
thing to friendships is finding those little things that you
can do together to maintain it or find new friends
by doing these things. So I said, like, we have
met a lot of girls through the workout classes, me
(21:03):
and Madison, which has been super fun. And we've actually
gone out to dinner together. We've done coffees together, smoothie
runs together like after workouts or you know, we'll just
all try and figure out a day that works for
everyone for us to go you know, go out for
dinner together and obviously like it's not something that happens
every month, but like the fact we're all trying to
make the effort of doing it ever so often, like
(21:24):
shows that we care for each other and that there's
something there, like there's a friendship being created. So it's
really nice to like have friends for different occasions and
different for different things and all that. And it's fun
to meet new friends and it feels like.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
It's exciting too. And I think like especially with like
I know, for me with workout classes, I never wanted
to do them starting out, only because I was so
scared to go myself. And I feel like when you
start going and you meeting people friends and yeah, create
these friendships, it almost makes you excited to go workout
(22:00):
class is because it's like you're not alone anymore. You
have people to talk to and honestly don't be scared
to like be the first one two hundred percent yourself
at a new workout.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Remember Ange, when there was a girl at my pilates
class who literally was wearing the exact same outfit as me,
and I went up to her.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I started up on after and I was like.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh my goodness, I have the exact same outfit and
she started to laugh, and then you know, we started
talking about the workout brand and how we both loved it,
and you know, brought up other conversations and then you know,
the next workout class, it didn't It didn't feel awkward
because I approached her and she's like, hey, how are you,
and like, oh, I love your workout set today again
brings up a new conversation. So don't be afraid to
go speak to something.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
It just makes you excited. I think when you build
those relationships and you create those friendships, it'll make you
excited to start going more.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
And also, don't ever put an age to a friendship either,
like guys, yeah, I'm twenty nine and I think all
my friends are like twenty six, twenty seven, twenty five,
twenty four, or like I think once you're in your twenties,
it doesn't matter. We're all at the same maturity level.
We're all you know, we are at different phases in
(23:08):
our life. But I still don't think it really impacts
the friendship at all in my opinion. Like again, I
have one friend who's married and has a baby, and
then I have another friend who just got out of
university and who's trying to find a job.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Like, it's totally okay to.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Have different friends at different age ranges and anyways. I
just want to make that clear because I do think
sometimes there's like, yeah, this yeah sense of pressure of
having to be friends with people like the exact same
age or in the same phase and all that. But
like you can have friends for different reasons and for
different things and not let that impact.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
You, Yeah, different points in your life.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
So that brings us into the next conversation, which is
about the external pressures of being in your twenties. And again,
I think me and Madison both have two different pressures
in her life right now. I think the pressure for
Madison is finding a career, right, like she just finished
university and like, I'll let you touch on that part.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yeah. No, So, as I mentioned, I just finish my masters,
and I feel like your twenties it's a very difficult
time in the sense that you're figuring everything out. You're
figuring out your life. You're kind of figuring out through
school maybe what exactly you want to do with your life.
(24:15):
So I know, for me right now, I just feel
this almost like Kille mentioned an external pressure, you know,
to have my shit figured out, yeah, in a way,
and sometimes it's not that easy. And so right now
I'm trying to figure out a career path for myself.
I know what I like, I know what my interests are,
(24:37):
but sometimes it's hard, you know, to find a perfect
job out there that suits exactly what you want. So yeah,
right now I've been trying to navigate that. And not
just with like career, but I think or in the
career space, I think there's a lot of like different
kind of pressures that come with, for example, relationships and
(24:59):
being in a relationship like I have been single. I'm
not single anymore. I was single for the majority of
your twenties, majority of my twenties. Yeah, I did not
get my first boyfriend until I was twenty five. So
to anybody out there who's twenty three, twenty four and thinking, oh,
I've never had a boyfriend, I'm right there with yeah. Yeah.
(25:21):
And I did not get my first boyfriend until I
was twenty five, and I definitely had a lot of pressure.
I felt like, oh, you know, a guy's not gonna
want to date me if I had never been in
a world.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
And then I felt so bad because like I feel
like she'd always come to me with advice, and like
I was like the worst person to ask for advice
because I've been with this I wasn't the best because
I've been with the same person since high school. So
it's like I can't even like, you know, I'm like, okay,
go on the dating apps and like yeah, friends of friends,
and like I know that's not always the way that
it works out, but you know, I was hard to
(25:53):
like help her out when like all I could really
do is just be her motivational support of like, hey,
you're gonna find someone, Like it's gonna be out, like
just give it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Time and like we'll know.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I would say for.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
That, though, like the best advice I could give is
that not to compare yourself together. Everybody's on their own timeline,
everybody's on their own life path, and I would much
rather wait until I'm thirty however old I am, to
be with the right person, then waste my time with
(26:27):
the wrong ones. Agree, don't feel like you need to
rush to get into a relationship if it's let's say
you're rushing to get into relationships and that it doesn't
feel right with like like I said, I'd much rather wait,
you know, because that then that way I know I'm
with the right person percent.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And like with Zach, you know, we have been together
for twelve years, but I don't want anyone to seem
like it was a perfect twelve years for all twelve years,
Like every relationship goes through it's bumps, and you know,
we had times where like we never really grew apart,
but like we always found a way to like figure
stuff out.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Like what Zach and I are really good at in
our relationship is that we constantly communicate with each other.
If there's something that's wrong, we communicate. And I think
that's what allowed us to stay together as long as
as we have is because you know, we would say,
you know, this is not working out in terms of
whatever the situation was, and we would communicate that to
each other and then it's like, Okay, that person makes
(27:23):
the effort to make those changes. You know. Here's a
random example, Like my husband was playing too much baseball.
I was like, okay, you're playing. It was like it
was like or think of maybe your husband or your
boyfriend playing too much golf.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I was like okay.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
It was like five days a week after work, right,
And this is when I was working a job at
the time, and the only time you really get to
see each other is after your job. So you know,
I said to my husband, I said, you got to
figure out the balance between our relationship and you playing
sports or playing golf or whatever the case a week,
because I'm like, it's not gonna work if I'm only
seeing you once or twice a week because you decided
to dedicate all this time playing sports. So I communicated
(27:55):
to him that I'm like, we need to make a
change in this because it's not going to work out
this way if you keep doing that. And he's like,
you know what, You're right, So then he cut it
down to three nights a week, and I said, perfect,
that's more reasonable. You still get to do what you love,
and you know, I get the pro of us getting
to be together and it creates the relationship to be stronger.
So I think that's kind of like a situation where
you know, it's important to communicate in the relationship in
(28:17):
order to maintain it. So anyways, at the end of
the day, I do think there can be challenges in
a relationship, but as long as you guys can work
through it. I think it's important to always just communicate
and always say your honest thoughts and feedback on how
to resolve a situation. And I think that's really what
maintains a long, healthy relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I feel like that's how you also know, like I
was saying that it's the right person.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Exactly that well, and I think that's kind of where
I was trying to go into the conversation, was like
I knew that Zach was my person because like we
were able to work through any little hiccup or any
little issue that you know, we communicated about and were
able to get through it. So I think that's a
huge part of knowing when the person is the one.
But I think for me right now, of course, like
(28:57):
Madison was bringing up the pressure of just like finding
a career and like making the decision on what one
she feels is like the best for her, Whereas for me,
I feel like, you know, I'm in my late twenties
where like I feel like I have my shit figured
out and i feel like I'm in the right career
path and I'm going down the right direction. But when
it comes to like other friends like having kids right
(29:18):
now and all that, Like obviously, for me, like it's
such a weird situation because it's like I think I'm ready,
but then I don't think I'm ready, and then I
feel like I have so much that I still want
to do, and like, I don't know, I think it's
okay to like not compare yourself again bringing up what
Madison said, it's important to not compare yourself because we're
all on our own timeline and to not rush anything.
(29:38):
And I think everyone, at least from my own personal situation,
I think everyone kind of has their own little checklist
of things that like they want to complete in their life.
And like for me, you know, there's some people that
may want to have kids immediately where after they get married,
but for me, like I always envisioned like having another
house and you know, maybe traveling a bit more and
you know, figuring out my career more. And you know,
(30:00):
I didn't really want to rush into things. Of course,
Like I am starting to get a bit of baby fever,
which is good and I think healthy because I think
I may have mentioned it in the beginning of this year.
I definitely feel like I was more scared to like
go into parenthood and I still am. It's not like
I'm not I'm still you know, scared to enter that
phase of my life because obviously there is a lot
of change when it comes to that. But I do
(30:22):
think I've gotten a bit less scared, which I'm really
happy about that because I can already tell I'm growing
and changing as I age in a good way and
I'm going in the right direction. And that if you know,
kids are starting to excite me versus scare me, that's
already a good sign of you know, going into a
new decade of my thirties next year. So I don't know,
I think everything's going in the right direction. And I'm
(30:43):
just again not trying to compare myself and just really
just focus on what my goals are and what I
want to, you know, achieve for myself. And I think
that's the best approach, is just really just knowing that,
you know, you just kind of got to tell yourself
that you're on your own timeline and that you have
things that you want to do, and that don't let
these people on social media think that you can have
(31:03):
kids after thirty, because that is not the case at all.
I know so many people who have had kids at
thirty two, thirty four, thirty six, Like there is really
no time frame, but like, again, you have to also
want kids when you want them, because I think if
you don't want them at that time in your life,
it's almost going to be the wrong decision because you
felt like you just did it just because like you
need to want the kid in your life. You need
(31:26):
to want to be a mother in that time because
your life will change completely, and I think you have
to be ready for that change.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah. I think another thing that kind of touches on
both of the things we talked about is that, you know,
I feel like, at least for me, one thing that
I really struggled with is that I wasn't really just
being happy in the moment. I kind of kept telling
myself because I wanted to be in a relationship and
(31:53):
I hadn't been.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
In one yet.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I would always tell it. I was always telling myself, Oh,
I'll be happy when I'm in a relationship, or kind
of like for you, like I feel like people at
your age kind of sometimes like, oh, I'll be happy
when I have kids, you know, and instead just be
happy enjoying life as it is. You have your whole
life to life, your whole life to have a baby,
to have kids.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
You only live this age and this time exactly, exactly.
That's what I always say, live it to the fullest.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Yeah, So, like you have your whole life to have
a baby, to have kids, you also have your whole
life to be with a partner. Right So, if you're
somebody who's single right now and struggling with that, enjoy
it while it is. Be happy while it is. You
have your whole life to find a partner, to be
with somebody, be happy on your own. You know, I
learned so much when I was single about myself throughout
(32:44):
my twenties and things that might not have realized if
I wasn't single. So yeah, I just think that, you know,
you should. You shouldn't try to like almost wish your
life away. Just be happy in the moment, trust the process,
live in the presence, not the future. And I think
that will really help with you know, external pressures if
(33:06):
you're kind of just like living in the moment. And
I always.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Tell the podcast Girly is that I'm very much a
big believer when it comes to what's meant to be
will be. So I it's all about the mindset. It's
all about the mindset, though, Like you need to have
that mindset where it's like you got to just trust
that this is what's meant, this is how it's meant
to be, and that you know good things will come
if you have this positive mindset. If you're thinking negatively
(33:32):
like oh, I'm never going to have a boyfriend or
I'm going to hell for the rest of my life,
then if you put that negativity out there that for
all we know, it could happen that way. But if
you start telling yourself that you know, oh no, like
I am going to find the guy at the right time,
or you know, good things will come.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Honestly will happen, You'll be so much happier if you
just take things as you know, any challenge you face
in life, just take it as what's meant to be.
You will be I'm going to figure it out, because
it'll just make life so much easier if you trust
and you have trust that things are going to work out.
(34:10):
You know, don't like and you'll just be so much
happier if you think that way, because you'll know, hey,
it may not be working out today, but it's going
to work out tomorrow. And not day by day.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yeah, not every day is going to be a perfect day.
But as long as you can always like shift your
mindset and change your perspective on things and like try
and turn it into a positive experience and moment, then
I really do think, yeah, it's all about just shifting
your mindset. Of course, we could ramble on and continue,
and we did have a lot of other questions, but
we are running out of time, but we'll take it
(34:42):
into our next Sip and Spill Sisters Edition episode next month,
So make sure to follow us on Instagram because we'll
definitely do another question box and ask more questions and
do different topics and just always try and keep you
guys entertained. And it's always nice to have someone else
on the podcast and just kind of have little conversation
versus me just chatting away by myself. It's just always
(35:03):
refreshing to get two different perspectives. And I just thought
it was a really good episode series to start with,
getting just having a sister involved in kind of getting
that relatable content there, along with just us giving two
different perspectives of our lives and like being able to
relate to you guys both at different days percent, and
I think it's like really refreshing because I'm sure a
(35:23):
lot of you guys can relate to, you know, Madison's
current situation, my current situation, and I think it's all
just very relatable and yeah, something that you guys can
relate to. So thank you guys so much for listening
to today's episode. If you're new, definitely make sure to
follow the at the hawkrel Energy Instagram page. You can
also follow me your host, Kaylee, which I'm on Instagram, TikTok,
and YouTube. I love you all so much, thank you
(35:46):
guys for listening, and I will see you guys in
next week's episode.
Hello, you guys, Welcome back to another episode of the
Hawkgirl Energy Podcast. I'm your host, Kayleie, and this is
your weekly reminder that it's a new day, a new week,
a new mindset.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
What I just feel like you're looking at me?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome, Welcome back to another episode. I couldn't even finish
because the sister energy in here is just given laughs
right now. I don't know, it just is. But welcome
to a new series. We are starting a Sip and
Spill Sister edition where we're going to be spilling the
tea and giving our best advice when it comes to anything.
(00:50):
We actually just created an Instagram story on our Instagram
page where we wanted you guys to ask any questions
that you guys might have so for future reference, we're
going to be doing this on a monthly basis. If
you guys want to be involved in, just input any
questions or any advice you guys want from us when
it comes to what do we talk about? Relationships, self care, advice,
(01:11):
glow ups, just like anything?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, living your best life?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
So.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, we just figured we'd kind of introduced the topic
of this episode that we're going to be doing moving
forward once a month, and I really hope you guys
enjoy this new episode series that we're going to be starting.
But because we called it Sip and Spill, we'd like
to shout out.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Chat GBT for creating this title.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Honestly, we just went on chat GBT and we're like,
what's a cute like sister episode idea? And they thought of, well, whoever,
CHATJEBT isill Sip and Spill. So I'm like, that's cute
because we could get drinks and just kind of like,
I don't know, tied into the episode series. So today's
drink of choice is a poppy. We love poppy so much.
(01:56):
I don't know if you guys have ever tried it.
We're having the cherry lime flavored, like, yeah, we're obsessed
with poppies, Like I have one probably like three times
a week. Same, Yeah, it's pretty bad. What's your favorite
flavor though.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'd say either the cherry limeaid or the cranberry one
that's limited edition.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh my god, the fizz Cranberry fizz that probably yeah,
that actually I think is my favorite.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I just love cranberry anything. Yeah, Cranberry ginger ale my
go to and I was like, I gotta switch it up,
and now I'm obsessed with the poppies.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, me too. Cherry lime Maaid is also one of
my favorites. The Cranberry Fizz is also very good. I
also love the strawberry lemonade in my opinion because I'm
a huge lemonade girl. But they do have a lot
of flavors in the States that I still have not
tried that I do think would be really good. Like
they have blueberry. I think they have some type of
like row one lemon lime, lemon lime.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
That one we actually have tried. The rose one, the
pink rose. Yeah, so good. So whenever we go to
the States, we usually like stock up on different flavors
of poppies that we can't get here. I'm hoping eventually
they'll come here. Like right now, we only have those
flavors that I mentioned.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
We actually Costco.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Costco sells the blueberry and.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Level I know I have to tell you about that.
I have to get they have a case of it now,
we know right now, like at our like local grocery stores,
we have like the actual boxes of the orange, the strawberry, cherry, Lund,
Doctor Pop not even the cherry Lime made Cherry Lime
just launch at Costco. Right, I've right, you're right doctor
(03:34):
pop Poppy is it called? Yeah, and it's like a
doctor cooler, Yeah, doctor peppers. Those are the only ones,
which is unfortunate because we're both poppy lovers.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, but if you guys have never heard of poppy. Essentially,
it's like a healthier alternative to soda. So there's only
like three to four grams of sugar. I believe it
actually has apple cider vinegar in it as well, So
there's a lot of like pros to it just being
like a good alternative if you're that kind of person
that just like wants to cut out soda, Like I
don't know the last time I had soda.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, no, you honestly like it makes you not feel
the need no soda.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Which is great because there's so much sugar in soda. Guys.
Like one time I just looked at like a can
of coke to see how much sugar is actually in it,
and I think it was thirty two grams of sugar. Wow,
thirty two grams. That's crazy. So anyways, it's just so
good alternative. So that is our drink. Of the day,
But we thought it could be fun to have this
as like part of the episode because we thought, you know,
(04:28):
there's so many fun drinks that we could try, Like
we've been trying Macha lately. We've been trying different coffee
orders at like Starbucks and just like different like local
coffee shops. So we just thought that could be a
fun way to like tie into the conversation about sipping
a drink. So anyways, we're gonna get into some of
the questions that you guys sent us over. Actually, let's
(04:48):
first do a little introduction of my sister being here.
I think she's been on an episode here before, but yeah,
not for a while. Yeah, maybe say your name, your age,
and yeah, well you just finished, Yeah, a little bit
about yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Well hi everyone. If you don't know me, my name
is Madison. Kaylee usually calls me Maddie. I am twenty
five years old. I just turned twenty five in March.
What else, I just finished my masters, So I've been
in school for quite some time. Me and Kayley have
been always working together for quite a while, but I
think I just haven't had the time with school to
(05:23):
actually dedicate the time to working with her, and now
I do now that I'm done school, which is nice.
So yeah, I did my undergrad for four years and
then did another two years and just finish my masters,
which is exciting. I don't really know that's good. No,
I think that's good.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Me and my sister do have a pretty close relationship,
and we're going to get into some questions here in
regards to a relationship with your family or with your sister,
and like how to stay close with the sibling. That
was actually one of our questions that someone had to ask. Yeah, oh,
I guess it was a common question that people. That's
which is good because, to be fully transparent, my sister
(06:03):
and I were not always close, and I think that's
a pretty common thing when it comes to siblings. Like
when we were younger, I would say when I was
like starting out in high school and Madison was like
just getting into the same school as me.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
So like when I started grade and a grade eleven,
is it when we started getting close or when we no?
When we weren't.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Close all the time I was in grade eleven, you
were in grade seven.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
When you think about it, I feel like every older
sister doesn't really love their younger sister. Yeah, only because
like I just wanted to be just like her, right,
and she kind of saw that as like me trying
to copy her.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Literally, ever since I was seven years old, there's videos
that I look back at where my sister's like what
three or four, and like I would pick, like, okay,
I want purple pajamas, and Madison's like I want purple
pajamas too, and I'm like, oh my gosh, you can't
copy me, Madison. But like when you look back at
it now, now we always copy each other and we
want to copy each other.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Just bought like two of the exact same bags and
like neither of us care like she thought of the idea.
I was like, wait, I kind of love that.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I actually want whatever she buys.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
She like each other's influence. Yeah, she literally did not
even influence when you influence me. All the time, she'll
show me something that she bought. Even on Amazon, we'll
like buy each other's We have like.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
The same Amazon account. So sometimes I'll have something in
my cart that I'm gonna buy and then it'll be
gone and my sister will be like, oh yeah, sorry,
I already bought it. I like, oh, well, now I
have to readd it to my car.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
It's funny because we just like influence each other. But
like when you think of things back then, it definitely
wasn't always that way. And I want to say, like
when we when we were younger, I think there was
always a bond, but like we always butted heads. But
I think when it was like really bad is when
I was older and I kind of understood, you know,
I was older, and I just felt like you weren't cool,
right because you're so much younger than me, because we
(07:50):
are four years apart, right, so it's not like, you know,
we have a two year age gap where like we
kind of were in the same phase or same air
on her life. I feel like four years is a
pretty big difference where you can start to notice that
like I'm in high school versus you're still in elementary school.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, And also too,
like I feel like when you, for example, started college
and when I was in I was still in high school.
Like I just feel like at that point, especially at
when you're four years apart, there's definitely different levels of
maturity one hundred percent. So yeah, I think that was
kind of the main reason why we were butting heads.
(08:24):
But it was never like we were.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Like cover in a bad place like no, no hated
each other.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It was just it was, honestly always like the same
constant fights we'd have, Like I think, I don't I
didn't even think of.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Like what are you bringing up right now?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Oh, I can think of a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
See, I don't have a good memory of that kind
of stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well, I remember you threw a phone at.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
That's the most relatable thing I've ever No, I don't
remember throwing a phone at you.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I think, well, clearly you did something me off. Anyways,
long story short, the relationship was not always where it
was now. I think, you know, we always had a connection,
but like it was never as strong as what it
is now. Like I think what brought us closer is honestly,
like the maturity level and growing up, as you said,
(09:18):
Like I feel like because at a certain age, like
you grow at different rates, right like you were, you know,
still pretty young, especially when I was in college and
you were in high school. I would say, honestly, when
Madison got to university and I had a full time job,
we did actually start working together for my dad's company
for a period of time. And I do think that
kind of brought us closer together in a sense because
(09:41):
being around each other a bit more than just at home,
and like working together. I also find like working in
an environment with another person, like, yeah, you really get
to know the person, right, Like so I thought.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I also think that the point in our lives where
I personally feel like we got the closest was when
you moved out. Yeah, that's when I think is that
is alsois because I feel like we we didn't really
realize how much we enjoyed each other's company until we
(10:15):
didn't live together anymore. And I think that brought us
closer than ever because we actually made the effort to
you know, we FaceTime every day now, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Literally and literally more than everything. Yeah, probably ten times
a day.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, but like it just I think it just made
us closer because we weren't, you know, living together anymore,
so we just wanted to be together all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah. And I think like if you don't have a sister,
like think of your best best friend that you can
think of that you may have a really close relationship
with that you constantly call for advice or you constantly
call for literally anything, just to just talk like that's
the best comparison I would save to a sister. I mean,
I think personally for me, like I obviously have best
friends who are my age I am very close with,
(11:01):
but there's nothing like a bond when it's family. I
don't know, there's something it's hard to like you can
compare it to it, but in a sense, it's hard
to like compare to that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Well, it's also too like she's the only person in
my life who's literally had the almost the exact same
experiences growing up, right, Yeah, we share the same parents,
so it's like how I grew up is how she
grew up. And I can't remember where I saw this,
maybe on TikTok, but I remember somebody talking about like
(11:32):
the reason, like the bond with your sibling is so
strong is because typically, like you know, the way you
grow up sets you up for how you live in
the future, and you know, no one compares to your
sibling in terms of how you grew up, Like if
your sibling experienced trauma, you experienced trauma, you know. Like
(11:55):
I mean, obviously, like that's a bit more broad and
doesn't apply to every situation, but I think more the
point is is that you know, you guys have been
through almost everything together.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, And I think, like building a relationship with your sibling,
I think the best thing to do is really just
find things that you have common. So for us, like
we both love to work out, so I feel like
a lot of the cases will be us, like booking
a workout class together. We also both played the same
sport growing up, so Madison plays soccer. I used to
play soccer, So sometimes we'll go play a soccer game together,
(12:30):
usually in the summer. You know, other things is just
obviously girly things like going shopping together, going to get
our nails done together, Like find things that you both
have a lot in common in and like try and
experience those things together.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, because it also makes doing whatever that thing is
more fun.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
When Yeah, and it's a bonding experience and like I
feel like that's kind of something or a way to
like create a bond between each other and get closer.
So that would probably be my top recommendation if you're
trying to build a stronger relationship with your sibling. Another
question we got asked a lot was about like friendship
breakups and like making friends in your twenties, how to
handle your early twenties all that, and I think we
(13:10):
can both agree that we've both been through our own
friendship breakups. I think it's a very common thing that
happens to people, especially in your twenties, because it's such
a roller coaster. We've talked about this in you know,
other episodes where you know, your twenties are supposed to
be a roller coaster of emotions and a roller coaster
(13:30):
of a time. I do think you do grow a lot,
and you do change a lot from the beginning of
your twenties to the end. And you know, Madison's twenty five,
so she's still in her twenties. But I do think
there's been a lot of different friendships even in the
five years of your twenties. And I think about, you know,
my early twenties versus now, like I actually had a
recent friendship breakup that I actually just thought about, looking
(13:52):
at Madison right now when didn't even talk to her
about this. With my wedding, I had someone who didn't show.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Up to my wedding.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, and yeah, it was a very sticky situation. I
actually haven't spoken to her since, and I'm not that
kind of person where I'm gonna purposely ignore you in
a situation like if she's at you know, a gathering
that you know someone is hosted, like a friend's night
or something like if she approaches me and she says, hey,
how are you, Like, I'm gonna say hi, I'm good
(14:22):
you like a I don't want to say act like
everything's okay. But I'm not gonna go out of my
way to make plans with this girl. I'm not gonna
go out of my way to like, you know, see
her or anything like that. So for me, I guess
the way I'm dealing with this recent friendship breakup is
just like not giving her like my time and energy,
you know what I mean, Like I'm not going to
reach out, I'm not going to text her Like Obviously,
a wedding is a huge part of your life and
(14:43):
it's like one of the biggest milestones that you have,
and I think it was like very frustrating to have
someone that was a part of my life for a
long period of time and like kind of create a Yeah,
I guess there was also more to just the wedding, obviously,
Like there was more to just that, Like there was
things over time that, you know, she chose her job
over her friendships, which is so fine, but she kind
(15:06):
of distanced herself from everybody, like she really was not
trying to create a friendship with anyone, Like as soon
as COVID hit, like she was really just like a homebody,
which again everyone was kind of like in that phase.
But then once she got this job that allowed her
to travel a lot, she kind of just like completely
forgot about everyone in our friendship circle and didn't make
the effort to seeing people, and like I would reach
(15:27):
out and she never really got back to me, and
so there was just like a lack of effort in
both ways. So I mean, obviously friendship breakups are never
easy and it's not easy to deal with, but I
think it's always important to keep your head high and
always be the bigger person and just you know, if
you see that person, don't feel uncomfortable in that situation.
I think it's important just to be like, hey, how
(15:49):
are you, how are things Like at the end of
the day, you can still have a civil conversation and
see how they are and all that. We don't need
to create any drama by avoiding the person completely and
just almost creating a scene by not doing anything right,
Like I still would welcome her to a conversation, but
you know, now that the friendship isn't there, I wouldn't
go out of my way to like I don't know,
like yeah, connect her to like my birthday party or whatever,
(16:11):
like having a girl's night like I probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I know for me, And I don't know if anybody
else can relate to this, And I know Kaylee will
know exactly what I'm talking about, But I feel like
for me, throughout my twenties, I've personally grown a lot.
And one thing that I used to do that I mean,
i'd say I still do, but not as much anymore,
(16:37):
is I kind of let people walk all over me
a bit. I'm not very I'm not the most confrontational person,
and that's something I'm working on and I'm growing and
learning about that and what that means for you know,
what I want and a friend and in a friendship.
But I think at the beginning of my twenties, I
(16:58):
had friends who kind of took advantage of my kindness
and that I didn't really appreciate. And it wasn't even
me who would see it, but it was the people
that I loved who would see it, like Kaylee would
always talk about that. My mom would always bring that
up to me, and I think over the course of
(17:19):
my twenties, as I was growing and maturing, I realized that,
you know, that wasn't a healthy friendship, and that's not
what I wanted in a friendship, because friendships are about,
you know, growing together and being there for each other,
and you were standing up for each other. It's not
about you know, putting someone down, belittling them, taking advantage.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
And friendships them doesn't mean that it's like you have
to constantly see each other like every week and all that.
Like I have friends who don't even live here, who
live in other parts of Canada, and you know, I
always just try and make sure I make the effort
at least like every few weeks, just to like touch base,
saying hey, how are you, how are things? Like we
should do a face time call. Like it's just like
those little things of putting in the effort. So my
(18:03):
friend is in a different phase in her life. She
just had a baby boy, and you know, I know
having a kid has been a part of her whole life.
So I don't want to you know, feel like we
have to see each other every week, because I know,
like that's a whole different world for her right now.
And we'll touch base on the pressure of you know,
having kids and all that and just the pressure of
being in your twenties in the next question. But what
(18:25):
I've realized is that, like I don't need to see
her every week or every single day in order to
like maintain our friendship at the end of the day,
as long as you guys are both making the effort
and seeing each other and like making the time for
each other, even if again it's just a FaceTime call
or whatever, Like, I still think that creates a strong
bond in a friendship. And then making friends in your twenties,
I definitely think is something that I've recently done and
(18:48):
I think I've mentioned it here on the podcast, But
I've made a lot of friends through just workout classes
and finding people who have so much in common with
me as well, which is so nice and so refreshing,
because you know, I have my friend group that I
enjoy being with, but I think we're friends for you
have friends for different reasons, and I think that's another reason.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
But I think also to kind of touching on like
you know, as Kaylee mentioned, making friends through you know,
going to workouts and stuff like that. I know for
me and I know for Kally as well. All of
our long time friends have been made through sports that yes, yes,
growing up. So who knows, maybe there's a sport that
(19:27):
you are thinking about joining or an activity that you're
thinking about doing with especially.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Well I think that's another example, right, So it's like
if me going to workout classes is like kind of
considering my going to an activity. That's why I'm creating
a bomb with someone. So if you're the kind of
person that maybe doesn't like to work out, but you
like sports like playing tennis or pickleball or soccer or basketball,
join a team. I'm sure you'll meet a you know,
(19:52):
a friend through.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
There where you guys both have already, like how Kaylee
was saying, sometimes we get so busy with our li
that we don't really have the time to hang out.
Majority of the time when I see my friends, it's
at a soccer game or it's at a workout studio
where it's like, you know, you're not really it's not
really a hangout like where it was planned. But you're
(20:14):
still seeing each other and able to like maybe get
coffee after, do something after.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
But I think this is like, that's what a reality
of spending time with friends, because as you get older,
your life gets busy. Work becomes a priority, family becomes
a priority, like living life in general. In your twenties,
it's not like when you were when you were eighteen
or when you're seventeen, where you know, after school you
can like, Okay, come over, like let's hang out, let's
do homework together. It's not the same anymore, right, So
(20:42):
doing these little activities and hobbies like working out or
going on walks together, anything that like you can get
coffee together, yes, exactly. I think that's like the key
thing to friendships is finding those little things that you
can do together to maintain it or find new friends
by doing these things. So I said, like, we have
met a lot of girls through the workout classes, me
(21:03):
and Madison, which has been super fun. And we've actually
gone out to dinner together. We've done coffees together, smoothie
runs together like after workouts or you know, we'll just
all try and figure out a day that works for
everyone for us to go you know, go out for
dinner together and obviously like it's not something that happens
every month, but like the fact we're all trying to
make the effort of doing it ever so often, like
(21:24):
shows that we care for each other and that there's
something there, like there's a friendship being created. So it's
really nice to like have friends for different occasions and
different for different things and all that. And it's fun
to meet new friends and it feels like.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
It's exciting too. And I think like especially with like
I know, for me with workout classes, I never wanted
to do them starting out, only because I was so
scared to go myself. And I feel like when you
start going and you meeting people friends and yeah, create
these friendships, it almost makes you excited to go workout
(22:00):
class is because it's like you're not alone anymore. You
have people to talk to and honestly don't be scared
to like be the first one two hundred percent yourself
at a new workout.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Remember Ange, when there was a girl at my pilates
class who literally was wearing the exact same outfit as me,
and I went up to her.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I started up on after and I was like.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh my goodness, I have the exact same outfit and
she started to laugh, and then you know, we started
talking about the workout brand and how we both loved it,
and you know, brought up other conversations and then you know,
the next workout class, it didn't It didn't feel awkward
because I approached her and she's like, hey, how are you,
and like, oh, I love your workout set today again
brings up a new conversation. So don't be afraid to
go speak to something.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
It just makes you excited. I think when you build
those relationships and you create those friendships, it'll make you
excited to start going more.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
And also, don't ever put an age to a friendship either,
like guys, yeah, I'm twenty nine and I think all
my friends are like twenty six, twenty seven, twenty five,
twenty four, or like I think once you're in your twenties,
it doesn't matter. We're all at the same maturity level.
We're all you know, we are at different phases in
(23:08):
our life. But I still don't think it really impacts
the friendship at all in my opinion. Like again, I
have one friend who's married and has a baby, and
then I have another friend who just got out of
university and who's trying to find a job.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Like, it's totally okay to.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Have different friends at different age ranges and anyways. I
just want to make that clear because I do think
sometimes there's like, yeah, this yeah sense of pressure of
having to be friends with people like the exact same
age or in the same phase and all that. But
like you can have friends for different reasons and for
different things and not let that impact.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
You, Yeah, different points in your life.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
So that brings us into the next conversation, which is
about the external pressures of being in your twenties. And again,
I think me and Madison both have two different pressures
in her life right now. I think the pressure for
Madison is finding a career, right, like she just finished
university and like, I'll let you touch on that part.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yeah. No, So, as I mentioned, I just finish my masters,
and I feel like your twenties it's a very difficult
time in the sense that you're figuring everything out. You're
figuring out your life. You're kind of figuring out through
school maybe what exactly you want to do with your life.
(24:15):
So I know, for me right now, I just feel
this almost like Kille mentioned an external pressure, you know,
to have my shit figured out, yeah, in a way,
and sometimes it's not that easy. And so right now
I'm trying to figure out a career path for myself.
I know what I like, I know what my interests are,
(24:37):
but sometimes it's hard, you know, to find a perfect
job out there that suits exactly what you want. So yeah,
right now I've been trying to navigate that. And not
just with like career, but I think or in the
career space, I think there's a lot of like different
kind of pressures that come with, for example, relationships and
(24:59):
being in a relationship like I have been single. I'm
not single anymore. I was single for the majority of
your twenties, majority of my twenties. Yeah, I did not
get my first boyfriend until I was twenty five. So
to anybody out there who's twenty three, twenty four and thinking, oh,
I've never had a boyfriend, I'm right there with yeah. Yeah.
(25:21):
And I did not get my first boyfriend until I
was twenty five, and I definitely had a lot of pressure.
I felt like, oh, you know, a guy's not gonna
want to date me if I had never been in
a world.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
And then I felt so bad because like I feel
like she'd always come to me with advice, and like
I was like the worst person to ask for advice
because I've been with this I wasn't the best because
I've been with the same person since high school. So
it's like I can't even like, you know, I'm like, okay,
go on the dating apps and like yeah, friends of friends,
and like I know that's not always the way that
it works out, but you know, I was hard to
(25:53):
like help her out when like all I could really
do is just be her motivational support of like, hey,
you're gonna find someone, Like it's gonna be out, like
just give it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Time and like we'll know.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I would say for.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
That, though, like the best advice I could give is
that not to compare yourself together. Everybody's on their own timeline,
everybody's on their own life path, and I would much
rather wait until I'm thirty however old I am, to
be with the right person, then waste my time with
(26:27):
the wrong ones. Agree, don't feel like you need to
rush to get into a relationship if it's let's say
you're rushing to get into relationships and that it doesn't
feel right with like like I said, I'd much rather wait,
you know, because that then that way I know I'm
with the right person percent.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And like with Zach, you know, we have been together
for twelve years, but I don't want anyone to seem
like it was a perfect twelve years for all twelve years,
Like every relationship goes through it's bumps, and you know,
we had times where like we never really grew apart,
but like we always found a way to like figure
stuff out.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Like what Zach and I are really good at in
our relationship is that we constantly communicate with each other.
If there's something that's wrong, we communicate. And I think
that's what allowed us to stay together as long as
as we have is because you know, we would say,
you know, this is not working out in terms of
whatever the situation was, and we would communicate that to
each other and then it's like, Okay, that person makes
(27:23):
the effort to make those changes. You know. Here's a
random example, Like my husband was playing too much baseball.
I was like, okay, you're playing. It was like it
was like or think of maybe your husband or your
boyfriend playing too much golf.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I was like okay.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
It was like five days a week after work, right,
And this is when I was working a job at
the time, and the only time you really get to
see each other is after your job. So you know,
I said to my husband, I said, you got to
figure out the balance between our relationship and you playing
sports or playing golf or whatever the case a week,
because I'm like, it's not gonna work if I'm only
seeing you once or twice a week because you decided
to dedicate all this time playing sports. So I communicated
(27:55):
to him that I'm like, we need to make a
change in this because it's not going to work out
this way if you keep doing that. And he's like,
you know what, You're right, So then he cut it
down to three nights a week, and I said, perfect,
that's more reasonable. You still get to do what you love,
and you know, I get the pro of us getting
to be together and it creates the relationship to be stronger.
So I think that's kind of like a situation where
you know, it's important to communicate in the relationship in
(28:17):
order to maintain it. So anyways, at the end of
the day, I do think there can be challenges in
a relationship, but as long as you guys can work
through it. I think it's important to always just communicate
and always say your honest thoughts and feedback on how
to resolve a situation. And I think that's really what
maintains a long, healthy relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I feel like that's how you also know, like I
was saying that it's the right person.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Exactly that well, and I think that's kind of where
I was trying to go into the conversation, was like
I knew that Zach was my person because like we
were able to work through any little hiccup or any
little issue that you know, we communicated about and were
able to get through it. So I think that's a
huge part of knowing when the person is the one.
But I think for me right now, of course, like
(28:57):
Madison was bringing up the pressure of just like finding
a career and like making the decision on what one
she feels is like the best for her, Whereas for me,
I feel like, you know, I'm in my late twenties
where like I feel like I have my shit figured
out and i feel like I'm in the right career
path and I'm going down the right direction. But when
it comes to like other friends like having kids right
(29:18):
now and all that, Like obviously, for me, like it's
such a weird situation because it's like I think I'm ready,
but then I don't think I'm ready, and then I
feel like I have so much that I still want
to do, and like, I don't know, I think it's
okay to like not compare yourself again bringing up what
Madison said, it's important to not compare yourself because we're
all on our own timeline and to not rush anything.
(29:38):
And I think everyone, at least from my own personal situation,
I think everyone kind of has their own little checklist
of things that like they want to complete in their life.
And like for me, you know, there's some people that
may want to have kids immediately where after they get married,
but for me, like I always envisioned like having another
house and you know, maybe traveling a bit more and
you know, figuring out my career more. And you know,
(30:00):
I didn't really want to rush into things. Of course,
Like I am starting to get a bit of baby fever,
which is good and I think healthy because I think
I may have mentioned it in the beginning of this year.
I definitely feel like I was more scared to like
go into parenthood and I still am. It's not like
I'm not I'm still you know, scared to enter that
phase of my life because obviously there is a lot
of change when it comes to that. But I do
(30:22):
think I've gotten a bit less scared, which I'm really
happy about that because I can already tell I'm growing
and changing as I age in a good way and
I'm going in the right direction. And that if you know,
kids are starting to excite me versus scare me, that's
already a good sign of you know, going into a
new decade of my thirties next year. So I don't know,
I think everything's going in the right direction. And I'm
(30:43):
just again not trying to compare myself and just really
just focus on what my goals are and what I
want to, you know, achieve for myself. And I think
that's the best approach, is just really just knowing that,
you know, you just kind of got to tell yourself
that you're on your own timeline and that you have
things that you want to do, and that don't let
these people on social media think that you can have
(31:03):
kids after thirty, because that is not the case at all.
I know so many people who have had kids at
thirty two, thirty four, thirty six, Like there is really
no time frame, but like, again, you have to also
want kids when you want them, because I think if
you don't want them at that time in your life,
it's almost going to be the wrong decision because you
felt like you just did it just because like you
need to want the kid in your life. You need
(31:26):
to want to be a mother in that time because
your life will change completely, and I think you have
to be ready for that change.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah. I think another thing that kind of touches on
both of the things we talked about is that, you know,
I feel like, at least for me, one thing that
I really struggled with is that I wasn't really just
being happy in the moment. I kind of kept telling
myself because I wanted to be in a relationship and
(31:53):
I hadn't been.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
In one yet.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I would always tell it. I was always telling myself, Oh,
I'll be happy when I'm in a relationship, or kind
of like for you, like I feel like people at
your age kind of sometimes like, oh, I'll be happy
when I have kids, you know, and instead just be
happy enjoying life as it is. You have your whole
life to life, your whole life to have a baby,
to have kids.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
You only live this age and this time exactly, exactly.
That's what I always say, live it to the fullest.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Yeah, So, like you have your whole life to have
a baby, to have kids, you also have your whole
life to be with a partner. Right So, if you're
somebody who's single right now and struggling with that, enjoy
it while it is. Be happy while it is. You
have your whole life to find a partner, to be
with somebody, be happy on your own. You know, I
learned so much when I was single about myself throughout
(32:44):
my twenties and things that might not have realized if
I wasn't single. So yeah, I just think that, you know,
you should. You shouldn't try to like almost wish your
life away. Just be happy in the moment, trust the process,
live in the presence, not the future. And I think
that will really help with you know, external pressures if
(33:06):
you're kind of just like living in the moment. And
I always.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Tell the podcast Girly is that I'm very much a
big believer when it comes to what's meant to be
will be. So I it's all about the mindset. It's
all about the mindset, though, Like you need to have
that mindset where it's like you got to just trust
that this is what's meant, this is how it's meant
to be, and that you know good things will come
if you have this positive mindset. If you're thinking negatively
(33:32):
like oh, I'm never going to have a boyfriend or
I'm going to hell for the rest of my life,
then if you put that negativity out there that for
all we know, it could happen that way. But if
you start telling yourself that you know, oh no, like
I am going to find the guy at the right time,
or you know, good things will come.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Honestly will happen, You'll be so much happier if you
just take things as you know, any challenge you face
in life, just take it as what's meant to be.
You will be I'm going to figure it out, because
it'll just make life so much easier if you trust
and you have trust that things are going to work out.
(34:10):
You know, don't like and you'll just be so much
happier if you think that way, because you'll know, hey,
it may not be working out today, but it's going
to work out tomorrow. And not day by day.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yeah, not every day is going to be a perfect day.
But as long as you can always like shift your
mindset and change your perspective on things and like try
and turn it into a positive experience and moment, then
I really do think, yeah, it's all about just shifting
your mindset. Of course, we could ramble on and continue,
and we did have a lot of other questions, but
we are running out of time, but we'll take it
(34:42):
into our next Sip and Spill Sisters Edition episode next month,
So make sure to follow us on Instagram because we'll
definitely do another question box and ask more questions and
do different topics and just always try and keep you
guys entertained. And it's always nice to have someone else
on the podcast and just kind of have little conversation
versus me just chatting away by myself. It's just always
(35:03):
refreshing to get two different perspectives. And I just thought
it was a really good episode series to start with,
getting just having a sister involved in kind of getting
that relatable content there, along with just us giving two
different perspectives of our lives and like being able to
relate to you guys both at different days percent, and
I think it's like really refreshing because I'm sure a
(35:23):
lot of you guys can relate to, you know, Madison's
current situation, my current situation, and I think it's all
just very relatable and yeah, something that you guys can
relate to. So thank you guys so much for listening
to today's episode. If you're new, definitely make sure to
follow the at the hawkrel Energy Instagram page. You can
also follow me your host, Kaylee, which I'm on Instagram, TikTok,
and YouTube. I love you all so much, thank you
(35:46):
guys for listening, and I will see you guys in
next week's episode.
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