Dating 2025: Have the Rules of Etiquette Changed? Part 1

Part 1 of 2
In a world of ghosting, AI dating assistants, and virtual dinner dates, what does "good manners" in modern romance even look like? In this episode, the Hot Topix Podcast Team and guests dive into the new rules of dating etiquette in 2025. From texting habits and consent culture to splitting the bill and decoding digital body language, we explore how technology, gender roles, and social values are reshaping the dating game. Whether you're newly single, deep in the apps, or just curious about what’s changed, this episode will help you navigate the modern dating landscape without losing your cool (or your dignity). Tune in for:

• First date dos and don'ts
• Is it rude to Google your date before meeting?
• Ghosting vs. slow fading: What’s acceptable now?
• AI-generated profiles and ethical boundaries
• Who pays, who plans, and why it matters

Follow us on your favorite platforms:
YouTube, Apple Podcast, Podfriend, Overcast, Spotify, Spreaker, iHeart Radio, Deezer, Podchaser, Goodpods, Jio Saavn, Podcast Addict, Castbox, Pocket Cast and more...

Become an exclusive supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podca...

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the Hot Topics podcast Cycle forty one,
The Lovely Lady, Lamb Chop and the Fabulous Flow is better.
Let's get into it. Welcome everyone to another episode of
Hot Topics Podcasts. I'm Cycle forty eighty one and we're here.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
With Oh, Lamb Chop. I'm sleeping all right, and me
and you who? Me?

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Me?

Speaker 4 (00:33):
You?

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Who? The other person?

Speaker 3 (00:36):
You?

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Who? The chocolate one over here?

Speaker 2 (00:38):
The you did not say? You?

Speaker 3 (00:39):
Who?

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Remember?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Make me even now? And then ell.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Did you? Did you?

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Have?

Speaker 2 (00:48):
You heard?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
You?

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Who?

Speaker 2 (00:49):
No chocolate milk?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
It was in a bottle that yeah?

Speaker 5 (00:54):
Oh the drink?

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah yeah yeah. So hey, today's episode we're going to
talk about dating etiquette and the things that's changed or
has it changed.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, I haven't dated in one hundred and nine years,
so I'm not sure if i'm the right one. But
you have about things. Yes, I do have some, and
you have girlfriends. I do have girlfriends, family members, girlfriend
girlfriend you heard. I don't have a many. Three I

(01:27):
have three now that I think about. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Three, Okay, so.

Speaker 5 (01:31):
I don't have girlfriends either.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
You got but you've got cool workers that you've heard
their stories.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Well yeah, and you know.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
So okay, so yeah, so we all. You know, I
haven't dated in a long time either, probably forty years.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Probably three months. What are you talking about?

Speaker 5 (01:54):
Probably yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
So we're going to gona talk about communication the boundaries.
I was like, we're gonna we're gonna talk about tech
and apps, money, expectations, intentions and honesty, red flags and
deal breakers, and cultural and generational ships.

Speaker 5 (02:15):
Well, I can relate to all those things. You know,
there's this new what's it called? This new show. I
don't have either of your seeing it. It's popped the balloon. Yes, yes, yes,
don't tell me you never.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
You've seen it on Facebook, You've seen.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
It Facebook whatever. All right, I've seen it at the
baby showers like they were popp No, my god, don't
say that.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
Especially, I've never seen so old.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Did you say that?

Speaker 5 (02:44):
It's not popped the balloon to seats for baby showers
to know baby sex. No, this is like pop the balloon.
Like maybe a guy goes on this show and then
they're like ten girls lined up and they hold onto
balloons and then as soon as he comes in or
she comes in, they start popping the battle maybe based

(03:04):
on the loops. Yeah, when when when the person starts
talking and they're like, okay, I want to God fairy
man and the person.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
He's gonna pop you know, and it's called pop the balloon.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah okay, and he can pop the balloons.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (03:21):
So eventually, if you have like maybe some maybe like
five girls standing or whatever, whatever, you ask questions to
try and reduce the number right, and then when you're
not feeling okay, I'm just gonna pop your bill and
then three left or whatever left, you find the one.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
So it's the modern version of the dated game.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah, and then one at the end you got to say, hey,
is she your type or you want to give it
a try? And she'll say he or she whatever, because.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
A pretty entertaining Okay, I'll found it.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
They had this one guy that came out there. Right
as soon as he stepped into the out of the shadows,
it was.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Like, it's okay for a guy.

Speaker 5 (04:04):
Does this girl that came I think she's Nigerian, but
I guess she was born and brought up here to
get better her here. But then as soon as she
comes in, it was her voice.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, everywhere it was like so funny, like she was
decent looking.

Speaker 5 (04:26):
Yeah, but it was just the voice I felt it.
I'm like, okay, I can't understand.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
It's like, you know, because she could have been trying
was it was like, oh no, she sounds like a man.
We're not gonna do this. Oh my god, that's too funny.
All right, I would look.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Forward, all right, so we have a past the dirty here?

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Past the dirty?

Speaker 5 (04:46):
Is it's just something on now? Or because it's always off?
Why why is he hiding? Isn't a good looking.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
No, he's what people just be busy, don't want other things.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, but we wanted to see him. We never met
him before.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
You meet him, mommy, Sure you get to meet him.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Okay, he's driving, Oh okay, okay, No, we want you
to pay attention to the road. We don't want to, he.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Said. He said he called it the ignorant version of
the dating game.

Speaker 5 (05:14):
That's the popular. Yeah, yeah, that's that's okay because I
don't know how, because I really don't understand how looking
at somebody one time and I just feel like that's
the one. I just think maybe.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
But you know what, you can You can look at
somebody and then and cancel him out automatically. You can
do that I'm sure you can look at somebody say
my type. Yeah, yeah, So all right, first question, oh boy, no,
this is funny because I'm my brother did this. And
is it rude to go someone or is it now
just part of the daity culture? Is it rude to

(05:50):
what to ghost somebody?

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Ghost? Okay?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Right, and then you know what ghost means, yeah, just disappear?

Speaker 2 (05:56):
All right?

Speaker 1 (05:56):
So what do you say is it is.

Speaker 5 (05:59):
It were to go someone? Well, are you supposed to
tell them that, hey, I'm not feeling.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
You right right? What's what's worse?

Speaker 5 (06:08):
I feel like I'm blocked. I don't think I can
block the person. I'll just probably not give you as
much attention to reading between the line by yourself saying
it or ghosting you, you know what, I'm right, it's
just gonna take me.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
It's gonna take them a minute to.

Speaker 5 (06:25):
Figure out, and it's gonna take me like a minute
to reply to you.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
So you wouldn't you wouldn't go somebody because you believe
ghosting is rude? Yes, all right? So you because feelings, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
That's what I'm saying, Like, what's rude or like just
I think it's rude. I think it's rude.

Speaker 5 (06:42):
But then I wouldn't have to would I have to
want to ghost you either?

Speaker 1 (06:47):
All right, let me give you a scenario.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
You had to do something to make me want to go.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Let me give you a scenario, because it's a real scenario.
So right, you talk to this all right? For you guys.
You talk to a guy on the phone, and you
guys hit it off. You never met each other, you know,
you met from whatever. So nice conversation. You decided to
meet at the restaurant. So the person's going to meet
at the restaurant, and you go in there, and you

(07:14):
know where the person's sitting. You go in there, you
see the person he.

Speaker 5 (07:18):
Told us the story before.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Okay, yes, his brother, his brother's story.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
And he and he just runs out of the.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
That's terrible.

Speaker 5 (07:31):
So I have what experience and mine it's not about ghosting.
But then this guy I liked when I was young.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
He had this really really lovely voice. Oh my god,
like his voice was so deep, so nice and everything.
I was in love.

Speaker 5 (07:46):
But I'm telling you, And then it was time to meet.
We talked for like two months or whatever over the
phone and all of that, and it was time to meet,
and and I couldn't relate, like, I sure that's the.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Wait wait you heard the voice first, yeah, she was.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
Saying, because I got the Yeah, he was my friend's friend.
So I got his number with extreme numbers over the
and and we've been talking every day, every morning and
every afternoon.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
I had a big crush on this person because of
his voice. And then we decided to meet, and I'm like,
so I wanted to walk past.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
I'd be like, so, what was it was? The looks?

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, I didn't look alighting with the voice.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
But you didn't got him.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
I didn't. I didn't know what to do. I didn't got.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Him sat down, and you had you continued your date.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
It wasn't a date. It was just like just hear me, okay.
And then I'm like, did you introduce yourself or did
you just leave? I had to. I'm like, what should
I do? What should I do?

Speaker 5 (08:50):
She I keep going like keep walking? What should I do?
And I'm like, that cannot be him. It's not like
he was ugly or anything like that. You know what
I'm saying. But he wasn't just up to So you
had the voice there, and I'm you had your high expectation,
you know.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
So yeah, so that was It isn't like it was
ugly or anything like that so bad, it just didn't mass. Yes,
So it took me a while to adjust or readjust.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Readjust So I'm going to say, in this day and age,
it is rude to goes only because there's so many
ways to connect with people before you get to that date.
You get me, I don't. I don't think that's the
right thing to do, you know.

Speaker 5 (09:34):
But some people feel easier though, because they don't have somebody. Yeah,
they don't want to deal with having to didn't I
send you one a long time.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Ago about this?

Speaker 5 (09:46):
Oh this is also there's this radio show thing that
it's only you've seen that before, right, this radio show
thing that they called the person. So if me and
him go on a date, for example, and he goes
me for whatever reason, that I can call the radio
show show, yeah, I'd be hearing some crazy story. I'm like, oh, well,

(10:07):
because how can you come to a day with like
heavily pregnant?

Speaker 2 (10:11):
I'm gonna go yeah, all right, yeah, what is it
left to say after that?

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Like, all right, so nobody owes you anything. It's not rude.
It says, why do I have to explain that I'm
not interested? Y'all are sensitive?

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Well because your guy, so this is a woman is
a woman. Yeah, okay, Well personally i'd just be like,
I'm sorry, I don't think this is gonna work. And
then that prevents them from having a constantly called you
and seek you out and try to, you know, get
in contact.

Speaker 5 (10:45):
But then it's also sometimes it kind of feels like
you're stringing them along.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
If you don't say something.

Speaker 5 (10:51):
Yeah, but then ghosting is also bad, so.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
It doesn't give anybody you know.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Me, I'm stalking you see.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
And that's the other thing, like just say it's over,
don't let them stalk you, like yeah, but then again
it's some crazies out there that will stalk you anyway.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
So okay, so past the dirty, says is it? I'm
saying her name right, Kennis appears to be hardcore from Baltimore.
She said, block them?

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Well, yeah, you can do that too, all.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Right, So are you you you first meet the person
and how soon it's too soon to follow somebody on
social media? Or I said, double text, like you you know,
text them.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
I'm gonna follow you immediately.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
You're gonna follow media even before you meet.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah, because I want to see what you're doing. Okay,
I'm too nosy, not too I can't Yeah, I can't
let it go. I don't know about double texting. I
might text you, I might not text you, but I'm
definitely gonna follow you about MMM on social media. Social
media is like.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
I think social media is probably the easiest way to
avoid all that because you have you get to see
what they look like. You know, maybe they posting videos.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
I very rarely post pictures, so you don't necessarily mean
that you're gonna.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
See what, but there's a better chance you might get
that that head start. You know, you can see what
they post and you know what they're talking about. Like
I could take from me if I can look on
somebody social media and you know you don't. I don't
give the picture too much credit because it could be
an old picture, it could be you know, doctored or whatever.
But you get the if you you're a black Republican,

(12:37):
you already automatically cut off. You don't.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
But if you post a nonsense, I'm like, does this
person read a book? Like if you post a nonsense, well, yeah,
while you're just like, Okay, I'm not sure this is right.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
So.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
You can come in, can come on and talk.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
So, first of all, social media is for entertainment purposes.
It has nothing to do honestly what the person is
thinking and what's on their minds. Sometimes people just like
the post foolishness. If you look at my social media page,
first of all, you're gonna think I'm a racist. Black
people can't be racist, and these are radical. You wouldn't

(13:18):
really be able to tell one way or the other
from my socials.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Okay, so you're saying so you're saying that don't put
too much weight on social media. Absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
And first of all, where are you meeting these people
that you don't know what they look like? That?

Speaker 5 (13:34):
Yeah, for me is I have to know you first
in person before we talk all extreme numbers. I don't
do like online meeting, texting online doing.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Some people some people do people they do online, or
or getting hooked up from your your your friends. So
it does happen.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, it definitely happens. Everybody preferences. I'm with her. I
mostly I post foolishness and nonsense. But there you can
get enough about my foolishness and nonsense to say, all right,
she at least it has a sense of humor, right,
or she could at least make fun of herself or
something along those lines. And it is for entertainment purposes,
but occasionally you can figure out who this person is,

(14:18):
you know, and if I'm dating you, I want to
figure out a little bit about you before beforehand, So.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Well I can. I can say that social media for
me would probably be early because I want to see
all that. That's what I'm saying. And it also is
an easier way to communicate without having to be communicating directly.
If you get what I'm saying, you can put some
things out there, or you can you know, tag people
and stuff like that, but you don't have to, you know,
lock into one person.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Gotcha, get me? Gotcha? Yep.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
So to you my stomach.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
I was, I was trying to ignore it. I thought,
if we just just let it go, you'll edited it
out and we don't have to discuss it.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Who should initiate the first message, state or kiss? And
does gender still matter?

Speaker 5 (15:04):
Well these days, I don't think.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
I don't think anybody yeah okay, but for me, no.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
Never mean so you're never gonna be first first than
anything first and nothing?

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Oh yeah, and okay, so do you do you think
that women should or I know, not you, But does
it matter if it's a woman or a man.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
This is not me.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
I can't really answer for other people, but it's not me.
I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
So yeah, yeah I would, I don't. I don't care.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, so you you had no problem of making the
first move, Okay, I think normally men will make the first.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
However, and here's the here's the thing. Sometimes it could
be awkward. You see those videos where the woman kneels
down in the mall.

Speaker 5 (15:55):
Yeah, that's that's terrible that you like, don't don't don't
yourself through that, you know what I'm saying, because it's
not proposing to you. He might not be interested in
it like that.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
To put myself through. So if I'm even going to.

Speaker 5 (16:10):
Do stuff like that, I would never do it in public. Right,
that's like, what are they thinking?

Speaker 1 (16:16):
That? That's bad on both parts? You know, you know
men are used to it. But and all right, we're
gonna talk about that too, because I get your scenario.
All right, past the dirty says. Now it's much more
fluid and often gender neutral. Research sales still shows men
are more likely to message first on dating apps, Women

(16:37):
initiating context is increasingly common and accepted.

Speaker 5 (16:40):
Yeah, women doing Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
I found that out too. That is a little bit easier.
I think it's easy. Plus, you know, even if you're shy,
it's a little bit easier to open up when you're
talking to somebody over you know.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
A message or whatever. Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know
how for the for you know, forever, Like men could
walk up to girls and just be like you want
to talk to me, or you wanna date me, or
even like when you're out at a party and heals
like you want to dance, And I've seen women be
like no, And I'm like, you could dance with somebody
for one couple of seconds. It's not gonna kill you.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
But you know what, that's a killer for a lot
of people. Yeah, why I gotta dance with somebody I'm
not interested in.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
That's the problem. Everybody is just too dag going nice.
Why you gotta be nice to everybody? I'm not saying
give everybody your phone number. No, you don't have to
give anybody anything. And I'm not saying that we have
to be nice all the time. But you know, I'm older.
So in my scenarios, I've seen women be absolutely rude

(17:39):
for no reason.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
You know, you can decline and not be sad.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah, you could decline and not be.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Also, you could miss out on somebody who might be
good for you because you know they may be awkward,
or it might be a you know, a bad day
or whatever. You might miss out. So you know, I say,
give somebody an opportunity and see how it goes. You know,
I'm I'm an I'm a nice guy. I don't I'm
like turning people down either, but.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
I'm trying about your already even say nothing.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
We're gonna board, all right, so he said. Before the Internet,
dating was primarily initiated by men. Men were expected to
make the first move, ask for dates, and initiate contact.
Phone calls, but a norm off the landlines. I remember
those days, definitely remember laying I want I.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Want to play something. I wanted to hear that an
answer your question, so did go.

Speaker 5 (18:34):
I'm sorry, this is bad people well.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
And vice versa.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Okay, the girl ask your name in age and the
answer your question.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
My name is when I'm thirty five, and the answer
to your question top three priorities.

Speaker 5 (18:48):
Ask what the top.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah to get yeah, sorry.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
And over hear your name and age and answer your question.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
My name is.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
The answer to the question.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
I'm looking for a god fearing woman that knows how
to put Christ first and that ultimately could come to
the census to you know what I'm saying, follow my
lead because I have a strong lead.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Dude, spin it out exactly.

Speaker 5 (19:26):
So that's why. So I'm saying, like so different, like
different scenarios that different people like this one. They asked
him something different. He was answering something different. So you
don't I didn't want You don't have the patience to
want to get to know someone like.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
He might be good, you know what I'm saying. He
might be, but he might not be expressive. His initial
contact is going to throw you off.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Well they say that first impression matters, Yeah it does. Okay,
all right, now we're looking at that was an old school,
right I used to come up there. All right. You
go to a club or bar and you go buy
a woman to drink. This male perspective, you go buy
a woman to drink and she either accepts it or

(20:11):
she accepts it and then still moves on or you know, oh.

Speaker 5 (20:16):
If you buy me a drink, I'm supposed to it means.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
What it means.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
So if you go to a bar and somebody buys
your drink.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
Back in the day, yeah, I'm not sure if so, yo,
my man, thank you so.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
But that's that's an invitation to come talk to me,
you know. That's that's what it's really about. Because he's
not going to buy your drink just for nothing, you know,
because it's nice nobody.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
No, no, So that didn't work like that, right, So
that was typically how it went.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
And then you had a conversation and then you depend
depends on how the conversation went. You followed it up
with a number, and y'all, you know, when she separates,
you called her the next day and you know, you
call and find out it's the pizza shop.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, that happened a lot.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
So, I mean, things like that happen. But now we're
going to talk. This is technology now. So has the
dating app culture helped the hurt modern relationships?

Speaker 2 (21:14):
I don't know because I haven't used a dating app,
so I can't speak on that.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
I'm going to say it has helped. And I talked
to a guy he was the older guy. He's like
in the seventies now right, Well, you know they.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
Have the single what is it single all kinds of
date on age or something like that date your age,
So you've been getting somebody in your thing and that
is the single something Christian you know.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
So well he met his wife on that app and
they was together ever since four I don't know, it
was like forty fifty something years now. Wow, she says,
I used to give the number to radio Shack at
my dormin But the dating app I think has made
things easier because depending on what is dating you get.

(22:00):
You get to meet people from all over the country,
all over the world. You get to select your type
and they get to select your type. So you don't
have those awkward moments where you say, all right, well we.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Don't have anything in common.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Right, so if I wanted to you know, Filipino lady
and I saw you on the on the website, you know,
or I want somebody for a specific country like Benin,
you know. But it made things so much easier. You
can put all the things that you like dislike, you
can select the age range, everything. So I think it

(22:38):
really has helped the modern relationship because you know, it
takes all that guests work out, takes the awkwardness out,
you know. And I'm assuming that they have pictures on
that too.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, I'm assum and videos.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
So what did your what did your Did you put
photos on your dating app?

Speaker 2 (22:59):
You know, he always got jokes. Did you put photos
on your date photos?

Speaker 1 (23:06):
It was it was a I s.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
Real photos, not a I photos real one.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
I'm gonna make it and I'm gonna put up on
dating whatever.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Make sure you put the one where I'm holding Thor's hammer.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
No, your real face, and then everybody come come to
him like, hey, I saw you, I saw you, and
everybody tells everybody and tells her. But then it's not
people make you look bad these days. But it's not
a bad thing to be on.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
No, no, people. People are more accepting that because before
the whole stigma was that if you went to a
dating app, you.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Was you couldn't get dates, and you couldn't get dates.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah, you was something wrong with you, you know.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Make sure you put him on silver singles.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Oh, dating apps have helped the beta male talk to
a girl that they feel they are of the standards.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
But that's true. But that's true, true.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
It's like almost she says. She says, it's almost like
drive through dating. I'll take a number one please, and
doesn't want.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
To say it's swipe right, yeah right, But.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
She's right, it is like a drive through dating because
you can, you know, you can pick and select your package,
you know.

Speaker 5 (24:24):
And just just be sure not to go on a
date with someone that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
And then I don't think you could tell though, right,
I can't tell.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Nobody's going to present that on their profile, on their
dating profile, they're not going to present Some people cut fishing,
like yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I only cat fish because when I do the dating
profile things because I don't want anybody to select me.
So why no, because we did the what's the name
the examined thing, but I don't want you to select me.
I just want to go in there and I want
to look at the features of the website so I
give a review or if I do decide to say,

(25:03):
well to do the review movie for what?

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Because we did do you know before we did a
show he's been on no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
I was the only thing I was holding is when
I was looking at the just because I was nosy. Yeah,
you went on, Yeah, but.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
That's the same thing.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
No, but you know it wasn't because I was just
being nosy about trying to pick something would have been
i'd have been accurate with my photo.

Speaker 5 (25:26):
And because you're just I'm sorry that everybody's going to
see you.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
That's no.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
I don't care about that, you know. But but huh,
all right, what were you saying? Well, so this is
for sorry, this is for the men, This is for

(25:54):
women and men. But is it acceptable to be dating
multiple people at once in the early stages us? Why?

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Because you're not no commitments. Yeah, you're not committed to
this person.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
That's that's for you. You just have to be your
single You're I mean, you're going to be single focused
from this from the start. Yeah, okay, And you say.

Speaker 5 (26:17):
Yes because amongst the whatever, five people are still gonna
like one better and I'm going to put all my
focus and all my energy and that one person.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
So son, you let the other ones go.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
So I was told by a woman that said, when
i'm single, i'm single. She said, if if I'm not married,
i'm single. So that means if you're in.

Speaker 5 (26:36):
The uh that single, If you're like in a serious relationship,
you're still single. That's you're single as long as there's
no ring on the finger.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Oh my god. So some people do think that.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Well, I mean, if you not, if you haven't established
that we're only going to date each other, we're going
to be you know, exclusive, then I'm free to date
more than one person. I'm not saying I'm sleeping with
all these people with just dating and trying to answer
what we what's how we question?

Speaker 1 (27:06):
You know, men love that question.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
If you want to have sex with all them people,
not your damn self out, just be safe. I'm just saying,
it's okay the date more than one person. Am I
the only one on here that feels like that? No?

Speaker 1 (27:18):
I think if you're I don't think there's anything wrong
with it. I think if you you're dating, you're you're
you can't you can't focus on that one person. We
have all these other people that you might pass Yeah,
you might pass up. However, when you do decide to
say okay, this is the one, then you need to
focus in on that.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
And you know, I don't want to date anybody else. Correct,
how do you feel about that? And if they're just
like that, lie.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
They lies? Oh babe, I'm only seeing you. Then you
see somebody out in public, and next you know, okay.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
And that's why you need to establish that.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
So I discovered that being open about it is a
little bit easier because you can avoid those awkward moments,
right so you know, but you have to have that
other person on that same page. If you're not, then
there's still gonna be a problem.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
So a little scenario. My girlfriend and I went out
to the movies, just you know, random. It was one
of the I don't remember which one it was, but
it was a popular movie. So we were all standing
in line to get into the theater and we're walking
in the line and she was like, oh, that looks
like my friend up ahead, and I'm like, oh, go
say hi.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Her friend friends her friend friend.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
So when he turned around, it was a woman next
to him, and she was just like, what is this.
You know, she didn't make us scene at the theater,
but if you had had had that conversation that we're
dating exclusively, that wouldn't have been a horrible night for
her because she felt some kind of way the rest
of the night because she thought that she was the
only one he was dating. I have another scenario when

(28:59):
I was in school back in Unit. There's this guy that.

Speaker 5 (29:02):
Was my friend, but we're looking to see how things
were going to go. And he took me to his
house or whatever, his brother was there and all of that,
and his brother called me another name, and I'm like, hi, Maya, and.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
I'm like, that's the end for me whatever, don't care.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
So but were you expecting that he should be only
you know, thinking you.

Speaker 5 (29:34):
Even if you know, well, you already brought somebody to
your house, So.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Is he supposed to do that?

Speaker 2 (29:40):
People don't People will bring people to their house like that,
just like that.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
Yeah, and then your brother already knows her name, like
oh Maya, hell Maya.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Yeah. On the first time, I think that's that's more
your fault.

Speaker 5 (29:52):
But I didn't say anything, and that was just it
for me.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
That was more your fault too, because you should have Maya,
you should have had on.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
With you past.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
The dirty said women outnumber men, which is true, so
it's simply unfair, right, And he said women are selfish.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Oh wow, men are more selfish. Be selfish because we
don't want to date. We don't want you to date
somebody else?

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Can said date them all? Until you decide to commit. Yeah, okay,
so you know, and I really I don't see anything wrong,
but I guess it depends on your personality. Some people
some people naturally I think you said more or less
that's you felonious that if you're if you're putting it
out there. Let's say you have five candidates, right, and

(30:44):
initially you're going to you know, see one of them
or like one of them more just float or just
naturally kind of you know, and that's how it goes. Yeah,
And that's I think. I think a lot of us
are like that.

Speaker 5 (30:58):
Because I don't know how to multi task give you
the same energy. That's taking too much of my time,
Like build with you, build with your, build with your,
build with you. That's that's too much.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
So now we're still in technology. So when we talked
about the looking at the Facebook profile and all that
type of stuff, is it okay to google somebody or
what they called social media stalk someone before the first dat.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
I wouldn't call it stalking, but.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
No, you you can get onto something like we talked
about last time, to call the uh what what was it?
Where you can find out everything that's Facebook stock if
you go search, So yeah, you could do. You could
do people search, you could do. I mean, it's a
it's a whole truth finder.

Speaker 5 (31:49):
Well, I don't see anything wrong if anybody did that,
because I want to know more about the person. I
want to know if you have some family family that
you're not telling me about, your line about or whatever
it is. I don't think see if the person has
a fellowly online though.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
You can, you can, you can if you got enough
information there to birth that kind of thing. Listen, back
in the day, it was somebody that you knew at
the jail, right, you would just tell them the name
and yes, yes, And it depends. Sometimes it's a safety issue,
like as a woman, you just I need to know,
like what is happening with you?

Speaker 1 (32:27):
I don't. I don't think there's anything wrong with it personally,
because one is curiosity and two, like you said, is
definitely a safety issue.

Speaker 5 (32:35):
You don't have someone of bringing you into my house
or spending my time with you.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
You might have a gang member.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
Yeah, you know, how about how do you deal with
like what if he has like a crazy X or
something like that.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Well you can't you can't google that though.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
No, you can't. You can, you can google does and
also how about what their name comes up in a
news article? Oh yeah, it just happened, uh a couple
of days ago down the street where I guess a
man and a woman was got into it and she
shot him.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Oh that's right.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, so you know you would want to google somebody's
name or you get that guy who was that who
was messing around with the kids?

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (33:17):
Right, how do you how do you check for you
know what, it's sex offender because.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
It's a registry. But every state is different. So if
a person's coming from a different state, right, so you
might not even be able to see, like if you
meet them here in this state here and the person
lived their life in Connecticut.

Speaker 5 (33:35):
But then they say, when you get to a new place,
you have to register.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Yes, you're supposed supposed to. You're supposed so, and then
then still might take some time to catch up. So
here's different things. But I am all for googling and
do whatever you cannot. And I don't know, I don't
have a problem with somebody doing it to me.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Did I send you a story of a girl that
liked a guy? And oh you sent it to me?
Remember the story you sent it to me that the
girl like the guy. But instead of asking the guy,
she went and search for the guy and befriended.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Wait a minute, say that I can't go back.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
She liked the guy, so she did her little research
and found out that where the mom or book club,
that's what it was, the book club, and she the
book club became nice friends with her mom, and the
mom was like, oh, you know, I have a son.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
You got sarkish. I didn't think it was wrong because
that I was impressed. That's a little bit too far
from well.

Speaker 5 (34:39):
She went all the way like but then the mother
had a choice. She didn't force the mom into like,
oh I have a son.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
You know.

Speaker 5 (34:48):
She saw her like, okay, you know what, I have
a sun nice single. How about you guys get together?
And that was her ultimate goal.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
She wanted to that is that is Berline crazy.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
That's a little star.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Some people like crazy chicks.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
True, true, true, because because now that makes me feel like,
you know, how how far deep into into something else
you're gonna go say? You know, I said I paid
the gas in act your bill and I didn't pay
the gas, But like, are you going to start searching
all of these things, like you got some some pathology there,

(35:24):
she's gonna find out a little uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
She's going to find out, you know where you go
to the doctor and then you get a job in
the records department.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
It could get a little bit scary to me.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
But you know what, can you can you blame them
for this this day and age with all the craziness
that goes.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
On, So I can blame.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
Yeah, that sound's too crazy to me. I'm sorry, Like
I don't mind looking at you know, looking you up,
seeing like, Okay, he don't have a family here.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
To do that.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Yeah, but when you start going that far and meeting
people in the family before you date him.

Speaker 5 (36:02):
Yeah, ask him for your blessing.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, well but that's old school too. You met her,
you met back in the day, you would meet the father.
You wouldn't really say much to the woman, You say, hey,
do you.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
But then you're meeting there. You're not going to join
the book club everybody, like she had intention? That was
intention then, Like I'm a buddy up with just this
woman because I know I want to be friends with
her because that's gonna lead me to him. But what
if the mother didn't like her.

Speaker 5 (36:27):
That's what I'm saying. So that's what I'm saying. That's
why I'm saying. It's not crazy.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Though.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Then you then you get rid of the mother, and
then at the funeral exactly.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
Yeah, that gives me the ick. I'm sorry, that gives
me the ick.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Punching tires, holding the tires and just having to come
by to assist, and I'm just waiting for my son. Okay,
I'm away here with you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
You shouldn't be out here on this road by yourself.
I'll wait with you. Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
That's the woman who goes with Okay, look at you. No, no,
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
It went for her.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
So let me tell you. Let me tell you, let
me tell you. All right, So back in high school,
and it's going back. I learned this years later when
I was an adult. I had a classmate of mine
and she told me she stole my I D. My
school I D. I used to lose stuff all time,
like I lose mind, because you had to go with it.

(37:28):
So she told me she's already an adult. She said,
you know, I stole your I D. Because I wanted
to name my children after you, okay, yes, and her
child was named after me. Okay, yeah, so we was
chatting about it, but it was it was it was
we you know, we had a nice conversation and everything.
But I think so, y'all or we never did it.

(37:50):
Let me tell you why we never did it, because
in that particular class that she was in, she sat
on the other side of the room. I sat on
this side of room, so she's always come over to
my side of the room. But guess who else was
on in the classroom with me? My older sister.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Oh yeah, that would have killed and she always runs
you down.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
She's coming on the side of the room over there,
you know that type of day. I was like, oh
so I didn't really know, and I did like the girl,
you know. Yeah, so yeah, that was children with my
same spelling.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Okay, can somebody else child? Man? Am I crazy?

Speaker 1 (38:29):
That's not crazy?

Speaker 5 (38:30):
Name her child after you?

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Never did it?

Speaker 1 (38:32):
You never talked to you about We talked, you know, conversation.

Speaker 5 (38:36):
But not like yeah mm hmm, okay, just starting to
feel like an episode of you that is the murder.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah, okay, all right, So Passagory said, don't dig so
deep that you form assumptions, and I think we should
give people a chance to explain things that something looks
questionable but it's cool though. Fatal attraction.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yeah, that's that's what that whole business felt like with
the book club.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
But I think some things are just automatic deal breakers, right,
just because you don't want to take the risk of whatever.
You might have a perfect, perfect person, but like say,
for example, you go look him up and let's say
as a guy and the guys had multiple charges of
child sex abuse or domestic boor domestic at some point,

(39:26):
you know it could be because she can have But
do you risk it and say, oh, I'm gonna find
out about it? You just saying you know.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
What, Yeah, I like I found somebody else. Oh I'm
just out, make up an excuse, I'm just out. How
about you go date the wrong person a lot.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, it could happen regardless.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Regardless of all of this talking like she could have
met that guy after all of this book club nonsense
and be like, oh my god, I don't want to
be with him.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
But I think she knew something about him first because
she had it had to know that his mom was
in the book club.

Speaker 5 (40:02):
So maybe you know she had to google him and stuff.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
But wasn't he a neighbor or something?

Speaker 2 (40:08):
I don't remember. Yeah, but still even after all of that,
she could have gotten with him and realized that this
was not worth all of my time. I had to
read books and this was not worth my time.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
All right, So that's when's the last time you had
a date?

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Really? I've been married thirty years.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
When was the last time you had a date? First? Dat?
A long time?

Speaker 2 (40:34):
All right?

Speaker 1 (40:34):
So who should pay on the first date today? As
far as how things are now.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
This day, I don't mind paying.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
You don't mind, die, I don't mind. Should that even
be a debate? Who?

Speaker 3 (40:49):
So?

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Felonious? She says, guys. Definitely, guys should always pay on
the first date.

Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yes, I kind of feel like if I initiated the date,
I won't mind paying for it, because I'm not going
to initiate the date. So okay, yeah guy, Okay, okay,
I don't mind paying for it.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
Guys, but definitely, gods, so your old school when it
comes to that, yep, okay.

Speaker 5 (41:08):
But it doesn't mean I cannot pay later on? Yeah, yeah,
because I'm good with that. But then the first day,
like you're taking me out but if I, if you're poor,
I wouldn't want to wash dishes or something like that.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
So, well that that's with you know that old school.
My mother's like, you don't leave a house without, yeah,
afford whatever you're going. I've said, I've seen these.

Speaker 5 (41:32):
Days where girls where girls go on the date and
then they start eating, like they're not eating is like
two weeks, and it's like you can't go on the
date and start eating something you cannot afford, right, it's crazy.
You can't buy You can't buy something worth one hundred
dollars on a normal day, can you can?

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Yeah, normally do that, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (41:51):
So if I'm going to on a date, I might
just have I might not even eat, I might have something.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
So just so that's that's a good question. Like when
you do go on a date, regardless of who pays first, right,
should you go all out your life? So we was
talking about a scenario earlier where a man took a
woman out on a date. It was the first date
and the one of them she expected him to buy
her address because they met at the mall. And then

(42:18):
there was one where she went to the restaurant and
she ordered like five.

Speaker 5 (42:22):
Crazy, Like that's craziness, that's crazy. Be like you out
if I did that, it's because I want to pay.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, I'll pay for these four. Yeah, I'll just pay.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
So on your first date, what do you think a
reasonable amount would be to eat? Yeah, if you was
going out on your first date and they were taking
you out.

Speaker 5 (42:45):
It's more to talk, you know what I'm saying. So
eating the food would just distract me.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
So no concern.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Yes, it's just to do something while we're conversing, gotcha.
So it's not just the conversation, like it's just launching
something while we're talking. It's not the food.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
So I do expect that people first day shouldn't be
on an expensive restaurant, maybe like a coffee house or
something that would be fun.

Speaker 5 (43:09):
Something yeah, something, But I like to stick pictures of
something nice, and I would.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
Probably go in the middle, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I'm not gonna probably.

Speaker 5 (43:18):
Do no coffee not yeah, but something something in But
it doesn't have to be doesn't not like like McDonald's
or something.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Yeah, if we going to McDonald's, I might here to pass.
So no, I'm saying like, if he took me to
a fancy restaurant, right, I would pick something off the
menu in the in the middle. It's not going to
be the most expensive thing, and it may not be
the cheapest. You know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
be in there trying to spend all his money the
first day I met him.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
What's what's a good what's a good price range to
keep within?

Speaker 2 (43:47):
I don't know. It was another restaurant.

Speaker 5 (43:48):
Yeah, twenty five dollars, dollars, there's no food desk.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
That's a cheap day.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
That's a good restaurant. But when when it.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Yeah, that would that would knock it off of me.
I'll be like, I'm out, I'm out, thanks, but no,
I'm good.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
All right, that's.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
Fridays, Okay, all right, Fridays.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
That's what Fridays? What are you looking at?

Speaker 2 (44:16):
As a I'll probably ordered the.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Like they don't have plainteins whatever.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
That's a difficult part because I'm not gonna find what
I want to eat.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
So, yeah, she's gonna order fries.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
I probably order burger or something. Listen, I'm this person.
I'm not going to order something messy. I will never
order ribs. You know, something that makes you sticky or weird.
I would never order a salad, maybe some chicken.

Speaker 5 (44:43):
I would order chicken and shrimp, sizzling chicken, mashed potatoes.

Speaker 6 (44:49):
I have a question, Okay, what makes Fridays better than
the winter? The environment Fridays is a it's a it's
a it's a commercial restaurant, so it's you know, it's
nothing there that you can't get anywhere else.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
The environment.

Speaker 6 (45:09):
The wizard is fancy.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (45:11):
Environment.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
We're talking about the environment.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
And I think he just I think you just randomly
picked one. Is he talking to me? Because I don't
I don't like the Windsor that's what it is.

Speaker 5 (45:23):
But I like I like the steak, the sweet potato.

Speaker 6 (45:25):
Front have their crabs, and I mean you can have
a much more expensive date at the Windsor than you would.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
True, but I'm gonna tell you this, Like for me,
I would I would probably go to t G I
F over Windsor, depending on the time, because of the environment,
because you know, you might have to you know.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
I see too many of my clients at the Windsor.
That's part of that.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
That you might have to carry you blicky on you.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
To know that that party that part of the day is. Yeah.
And the last time I had at the Windsor it
was horrible.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
It was horrible, and I was like, that's it.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
It was it was it was SAIDs there, So we're
not going to talk to the Windsor here.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
But I like him, so no, I mean, and then
I like him that I like you. At one point
I like the Windsor. But it got to the point
where I saw too many of my clients there, and
like you said, depending on what time of the night
it is, you might have to strap up. Yeah something

(46:34):
I'm not. I'm not going to say what my profession is.
Enough of them there, and I'll leave it at that.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
So you're still in the still in this you're still
in this date. It's splitting the bill, okay, because of
you know, how women want to be, you know, modern women.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
And she came straight up without my bother. I don't
mind splitting the bill, but we need to establish okay, don't.
But then I don't.

Speaker 5 (47:01):
I don't really like slating bills generally for me, is
it I pay or you pay? So it's just the
mean thing't all right? Now, we're still on this day
because I've had this bad experience where we've we went
out to eat with friends, somebody split, and then the calculating,
oh my god, I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
I can't do that. I don't like that.

Speaker 5 (47:24):
Okay, you guys, that's divided by this.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
But there's there's a there's a caveatter that too, because
you can have you can have somebody. And this this
happened where you go out there, let's say a group
of ten or let's say eight, and everybody ordered one entree,
a drink, you know whatever, somebody had salad, whatever, whatever,
And then you got maybe one or two people that
ordered like multiple plus dessert and six drinks apiece, and

(47:51):
you know there would be paying like eighty hours and
anybody else will be thirty. So sometimes people feel a
certain way. So I think you should establish that ahead
of time.

Speaker 5 (48:00):
Just the copulation, Okay, to divide up. Okay, okay, the
calculation is easy, that's easy. Get the bill, divide by eight,
ten or whatever.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
It's easy, and that's I'm good with that. H And
I go out knowing that I may pay more because
I don't drink as much as some people. And I
go out knowing that I may pay more. I'd rather
sit there. We're gonna divide this bill by eight people.
That's my forty dollars or fifty dollars in them out,
Like I don't. I hate when it's like, can you
bring me a separate check? Oh no, I didn't have that.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yes, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal.
If you go in in there and you established it
that checks are all going to be separate. So it's
not a problem for the right. So now you're still
in this deep. What are some of the things that
you we're talking about twenty twenty five, what are some
of the no news on a deep Let's say give
you a scenario. You at a restaurant. You know, it's
just two of you. What are some of the things

(48:51):
that you don't do and some of the turn offs?

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Chewing loudly?

Speaker 1 (48:55):
Chewing loudly?

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah, okay, yeah, just not having manners and like what's manners?
Like you can't pick up your food with your fingers.
It's something that you with your chipping from your mouth,
stuff like that, Like if it's ribs or chicken, fake
something you supposed to eat with your fingers. I'm good
with that, but you picking up some stuffed chicken breast
with your fingers. It's about time for me to go

(49:18):
not drinking loudly, yeah, or drinking too much alcohol you
start getting drunk. Yeah, he's doing that a purpose, a
purpose because.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Like, yeah, all right, so all right we're talking about manners.

Speaker 5 (49:31):
Yeah, table manners. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
Is it okay? For like what if you had you
was on a date and you was had let's say
you had chicken.

Speaker 5 (49:39):
And right, and then somebody's eating from my plate?

Speaker 1 (49:41):
No, no, okay, does it turn off for you?

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Okay, don't don't.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
I mean, I'm for you, but not like something you're
not eating your yeah, some of your.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
No never, no, no, don't do that.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Don't do that.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
So how about eating the chicken and you got the rice,
and you got the green beans, and you got your
nice little iced tea and everything, and then you see
the person eating it, you know, with the fork and
they got the other hand.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
Oh, I know, disgust.

Speaker 5 (50:09):
You know that's you know, that's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Is that a turn off? Or definitely not?

Speaker 2 (50:14):
In China? All right, so silverware there for a reason,
or somebody's rice is like the worst thing you should
use your hand for. Why why would you use your
hand for rice?

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Okay? And if you have issues with it, maybe don't
order things that's going to be messy where you're gonna
have part I don't.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
I don't order anything messy if I'm out, you know,
on a I wouldn't. I don't want I don't even
do it now, and I'm not dating. I don't order
anything messy.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
About you order a cup of coffee and they slipped.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Coffee, yeah, no, no turn off for my coffee. No, no,
they slurped, like Yeah, I don't like all those sounds disgusting.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
I can't do it. Okay, So sounds yeah much your
mouth open.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Oh yeah, or talking and chewing at the same time.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
How about how about excessive cell phone use?

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Yeah, that's also why you call it supposed to be
on a date, right, okay, right, I'm over there. Yeah,
drinking too much alcohol.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
Drinking too much alcohol, okay, that definitely okay. What else, Yeah,
that's pretty much it.

Speaker 5 (51:21):
Or trying to get too cozy with me on the
first date.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Okay, okayouching at the table, well if you no headcups.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
Yeah, And it's certain places that slurping is acceptable, like
if you're eating ramen at a Chinese place, the real
ram No, that's how they eat.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
That is acceptable. So if if if that's what we're doing,
then that's okay.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
But yeah, no, no first date to where are you
selling ramen?

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Well? Then again, if everybody in there slurping, I might
I feel too bad about out it. But yeah, you
can't be. I just and you can't smoke. Okay, you
can't smoke. Like if you're going out, I'm gonna be
right back. I gotta take a smoke.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Automatic done, automatic, done, automatic done. So now you're you're
at the date and the conversation comes up. Obviously we
talked about the money. We talked about you know, splitting
and all that type of stuff. Should regular conversations. Should
people be upfront about income, debt or financial expectations?

Speaker 5 (52:28):
What makes you think we're gonna even go past this?
Like after this day I want to again like that
might be for me, might be over. So no, just
to come have a good time.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Just exactly when should those that conversation come up?

Speaker 2 (52:45):
I think what I'm going to be. I feel like
I'm going to be serious about if we're going to
be decided.

Speaker 5 (52:52):
Okay, after a few more dates and.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Talk about income, We're going to tell you, well, it
doesn't matter. Let me tell you. So if you're you're
dating this person and you start to really dig the
person right before you decide to be exclusive, and you
have that conversation that says, well, you know, what are
your future goals? And you know, like if the person says, well, yeah,
I don't know what, I don't know. I take half
my I get a paycheck of two thousand dollars every
two weeks, and you know, I go get me the

(53:19):
fifteen hundred dollars worth of PlayStation games.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Yeah right, listen at my age. If that's what you're doing,
we've done.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
But it makes it makes a difference. So you know,
and if that person had that that frame of thought,
you might want to say, well, let me ditch this
before I actually get locked in.

Speaker 5 (53:35):
So for me, first, I size you up so I
don't have to know your income or whatever from our conversations.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
I know what you can afford. I know when I'm
talking about stuff, how you react to it. I know
how you know what I'm saying. So I can already
tell that, Okay, this person. Most of the times I
can't tell that.

Speaker 5 (53:52):
Oh this is this person's class, from where you're going
to eat out at, from the car you drive from stuff.
I don't know, because this is America, so it's kind
of different for you guys. What I'm saying I can't
really say for Americans, but for where I come from,
you can really tell. You can already for you to be.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
People like the show, Yes, so for you to.

Speaker 5 (54:13):
Be able to afford that kind of lifestyle and stuff
like that, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
But then there's also fake life, so right.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
But a lot of people have money. You live a
very you know, meaning like you know, so you know,
even like for me, like I'm not a person that
likes to show anything.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
You're very rich.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
I'm not rich.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
I didn't say. I didn't say. I didn't say you're rich,
I said very very well.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
I don't. I don't because it's not not my style.

Speaker 5 (54:43):
Because just like to disguise and act homeless.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
We know, you know, I'm not big on a fly either,
like you know, if you it's just it's just our
kind of thing. You don't have what you have to say?

Speaker 1 (54:59):
My country, y'all, y'all like that, y'all like to be flashy, Yes,
you do. Let's listen. I've seen them at parties. I've
seen them at uh but they just like to be flashy.
They want to you know, fla, flashy shoes, flash but
you know, big name things on. I mean that's what
you do. That's fine. I'm not I'm not saying anything
wrong with it.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
Why you say something wrong? It's hilarious. No, I mean
I'm not. You know, one for yeah, I just bought
a small car night the Mercedes is the brat definitely
another brag, you know sometimes like yeah, you know what
I'm saying. Sometimes, you know, expense can be quiet current

(55:42):
and I'm good with that.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Well, even even the male perspective, you might have somebody
who you know, they like to dress nice or flashy,
whatever you might be thinking in the head, like money.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
Yeah, there was this ballon.

Speaker 5 (55:58):
Whatever that I watch episod episode watching and as soon
as this girl comes in, this guy popped up and
he was like, oh my god, you look so good.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
I cannot afford you.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
But believing that guys do think that right off the
rip can afford me chicken box and a half and half.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
No he did not, he did not.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Well, I know you you're like you're not You're reasonable, you
know some but some women aren't reasonable.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
I like to spend my own money on my own stuff.
I don't stuff.

Speaker 5 (56:33):
And I also like what I'm going to look good to,
what I'm going to spend my money for you, So
like I always expect you to do whatever for me.
I know how thick you are myself right, and.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
Even even language, you know, like I know you like
you can be happy with the pizza and fries.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
At you know, if you won't be fans to give
me a big like oh okay.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
But but guys, that's that is a concern for guys
because you know they might be you know, on the
way up and feel that they can't compete or will
be replaced right when that next person comes by.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
So she's not willing to build with him until I
get to that place.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
All right, right, So I like projecting poverty, well you
do it so well, so you know, if you could
take me, But I'm projecting property were good.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
I saw a story like not too long ago about
how Bobby Brown gave Whitney Houston like a two carrot
diamond ring. Like everybody would be like most of the
girls I know be like two carriage. Yeah, I'm in.
And she was all excited and loved it. But that's
not the ring that he was going to give her
in the end. He was testing to see if she
was just happy with oh okay, and she was extremely

(57:51):
happy and they were all excited, and then he popped
out the ten yeah wow later. So yeah, i'd have
been Whitney because I'd have been a gorgeous thank you
so much. You know, I'm not that person. I'm just that.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
I think it's just my personality. I think certain show
of wealth is kind of vulgar to me.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
You know.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
Yeah, like even if I had, like say, if I
had one hundred million dollars, I'm still gonna drive the
same type of car that I want me a.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
Lot. I'm not, I'm not, But I also won't have
the biggest topics, you know, the head of the class.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
Well, I mean you're limited anyway because there's only so
many cars so much.

Speaker 5 (58:38):
So, so I think also it has to do like priorities.
For me, car is it's okay, but it's not like
my first clothes come first. So like, you know, we
all fancy different things, right, So when you have some
people when they are wealthy is cars first. They just
want to do cars and change. Some people that I

(59:01):
know Nigerian Old Africans, it's jewelry.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Like gold, gold, gold, gold, gold.

Speaker 4 (59:07):
Go.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
I'm not so much of a gold person.

Speaker 5 (59:09):
I like to like just wear maybe one simple one
earring and that's it. But not like some people, that's
what they invest in. So there's always something you love
that you want to yeah, that you're just all about.
You know what I'm saying, Like when you have the money,
is that thing you're just going.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
To keep doing so And here's my thing And this
is something I learned later in life that you got
to look at those things. Those are possible red flags
because you get with somebody and you know, all right,
even when you're trying to build together, or even if
you're not really building together. She got his own money whatever,
But is that going to be issue? Somebody can constantly buy,

(59:44):
you know, three hundred pairs of shoes that might be
me average, oh, but we got four to fifty. Because
it makes a difference. And it's like I'm a practical person.
It makes a difference because then you gotta you gotta
have accommodations for it.

Speaker 5 (01:00:04):
So but then I don't think because you don't like
stuff doesn't mean somebody else does. Yes, because you don't
like to dress up doesn't mean someone else dress up.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
You don't like to dress up. But whatever from targeting
Tim actually look at the shirt dress.

Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
Oh, he has like all things like when I before
I was born. He has clothes from before I was born.
So yes, that's him. So it's so for me, I
buy stuff, but I also look like, Okay, what's going
on around me? What do we need to do? I
can't be buying clothes when I know that we're struggling financially.
You need to put money into stuff, you know what
I'm saying. I have to think, Okay, I have to

(01:00:45):
save some and then extra. Whenever it's like okay, and
I think I shopped more when I'm like going through stuff,
when I'm like depressed, when i feel like I'm not happy, Yes,
I'm like, you know, I'm just gonna buy stuff. It
makes me happy to change clothes every day. Some people
neat exactly. So it depends on what you like.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Yeah, so this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Was a really good conversation and we're gonna follow us
up with part two. Okay, and you guys tune in
for part two that we'll have pretty soon.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Word of the day.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Word of the day is gold digger.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
Okay, you get on.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
Gold digger is the word of the days. Yeah, so
stay tuned for part two.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
Thank you, pastor Dirty, Thank you.