July 7, 2025 • 52 mins
Part 2 of 2
In a world of ghosting, AI dating assistants, and virtual dinner dates, what does "good manners" in modern romance even look like? In this episode, the Hot Topix Podcast Team and guests dive into the new rules of dating etiquette in 2025. From texting habits and consent culture to splitting the bill and decoding digital body language, we explore how technology, gender roles, and social values are reshaping the dating game. Whether you're newly single, deep in the apps, or just curious about what’s changed, this episode will help you navigate the modern dating landscape without losing your cool (or your dignity). Tune in for:
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In a world of ghosting, AI dating assistants, and virtual dinner dates, what does "good manners" in modern romance even look like? In this episode, the Hot Topix Podcast Team and guests dive into the new rules of dating etiquette in 2025. From texting habits and consent culture to splitting the bill and decoding digital body language, we explore how technology, gender roles, and social values are reshaping the dating game. Whether you're newly single, deep in the apps, or just curious about what’s changed, this episode will help you navigate the modern dating landscape without losing your cool (or your dignity). Tune in for:
- First date dos and don'ts
- Is it rude to Google your date before meeting?
- Ghosting vs. slow fading: What’s acceptable now?
- AI-generated profiles and ethical boundaries
- Who pays, who plans, and why it matters
YouTube, Apple Podcast, Podfriend, Overcast, Spotify, Spreaker, iHeart Radio, Deezer, Podchaser, Goodpods, Jio Saavn, Podcast Addict, Castbox, Pocket Cast and more...
Become an exclusive supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podca...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the Hot Topics podcast Psycho forty one,
Lovely Lady, Lamb Chop and the Fabulous Blownia is Better.
Let's get into it. Back for part two of the
(00:29):
Dating Etiquette Modern Dating at Modern Modern Etiquette. Okay, so
last week, last we was here, we talked about money
and expectations. Don't want to get into the intentions and honesty.
That's that's really where the meat comes in, right, Yeah,
So first question would be when, because we mentioned talk
(00:50):
about certain things, when it gets a certain point, when
is the right time to talk about exclusiveivity.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I don't think it's a you can't say, like after
the fourth date, I'm going to talk about this, because
you might not know after the fourth date. But I
think in your in your heart and in your mind,
when you realize that I think I might really want
something with this person, and that's when you have to
start talking about your intention.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
So you don't think it's like a benchmark or well.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I ain't gonna date you twenty times and be like
out here twenty times, like ohn't know, because at that point, you.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Know, yeah, twenty times could be what a month? If
you go out every week, you can because Dyton, don't
have to be just going to the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But true, true, you're do stuff. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
That's hard, is it?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Is it a time where you have a certain feeling or.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah maybe that's what I said, with your heart and
your mind is just no time. Yeah, that's hard.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Time, that's hard.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
It's got to be time too, because like you said,
it could be a month, or it could be six
weeks or you know, some people are like I knew
after the third date we were gonna be together.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
For me, it's always the guy first whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So you just followed his lead.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yes, okay, so yes, if you think, if you think
I'm worth it to keep me, then whatever you want.
But then ideally for us is once I did you,
I'm teaching you. If I find out you're talking to
somebody of whatever, it's after.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
The first date.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, okay, yeah, going on the date, and we like
each other, we dig like after, So after the first
date determines if we're going to keep talking or seeing
each other, you know what I'm saying. So from then on,
I feel like, okay, like we like each other and
all of that. Okay, this person I'm talking to, this
person already.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Sometimes you don't even have to.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Sometimes people don't even say, hey, would you be my girlfriend?
But just keep going, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
You just roll into yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Tell somebody says that magic phrase what what are we?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Oh? Okay, what? Well? What are we?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
You can only ask what are we if you feel
like the person is no, because let me.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Tell you, I've been in a situation where the woman
asked what are we? And for me it was kind
of awkward because you know, feelings are involved, and but
it's fair because because feelings are involved, and that person
might want to know, like how should we proceed or
how are we? Am I okay to date someone else?
(03:18):
Are you.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Not going forward?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So? What are we? Kind of makes me weak?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So what do we? Makes you weak?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
What are we?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Saying? What are we? You? You feel like, okay, it's
a turn on for you? Makes you weak in that way?
It makes me no turn on?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Week makes me feel vulnerable?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yes, okay, okay, kind of yes, So I won't say
that would that's something like anything you want?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So you're not going to say that to him?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
So hers is ninety percent ego whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Listen, men got big egos. Women can have big egos too,
we do.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So yeah, So how long does it take you to.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Know if we're going to be exclusive? Probably fifth or
sixth or second we have sex?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh wow, Okay, what's the next question? I can't even I.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Can no, no, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Actually, ideally we don't want to have sex until we're something.
But then there's also there's also a scenario if we're
like friends of benefit or if you're in a situation
and I know, okay, maybe you know. So it depends
on whatever's going on that will make you want to
feel like, okay, are we.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
But it needs to be talked about though. Yeah nobody
nobody thinks the same way.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
But sometimes and sometimes you find out, like in stories
scenarios and things I've seen, like they start off as okay,
we're just going to be friends, and next thing during
this complicated relationship where you cannot you don't know how
to back down, you don't know how to move forward,
you know, And.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
People honestly have these conversations, let's be fair, they honestly
have I think they are.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So I think the thing is you have to have
those conversations because one things could be misinterpreted.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
So I was talking to someone from my past, from
past past, long time ago.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
In your past.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
So no matter how I want you say, past past past.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Somebody passed and it came to you know, it was
it was like a revelation, like, well, why did we split? Right?
And it was because of a miscommunication or misreading of
people's actions, and that was it. So it had nothing
to do with anything else. But because we never had
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You know, So does that mean you've had that conversation
in the next relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, I ain't learned from that.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
See, That's why I said, all people really having these conversations,
I didn't learn.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Let me see, No, actually I remember, but but it
was I had that conversation with somebody.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
But you just only had the conversation recently. So this
was so then you didn't learn from that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
I didn't know, no, no, but but but after her,
I've had conversations whatever, But I didn't. You know, it
wasn't because that was because somebody pose a question to me.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
So like today, have you ever been in a situation
where the persons like that we ending like yes, and
it's awkward for you.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yes, because That's that's what I was talking about. Like
it was. It was awkward for me because I was
thinking one thing and I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So you were just like we just hanging and chilling
and they were like, oh, this is a relationship. Yeah okay, So.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
How did you get yourself out of that? You had
to you forced into the relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So so the when that question came up, I said, well,
we're just friends, but you know, you know whatever, ever,
and I kind of felt I knew, first of all,
you're not going to ask that question unless you have
intentions of sort. So I said friends. And it's kind
of like things happened after that that kind of you know,
made us go our separate ways, you.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Know, because they were expecting something else. Clearly, Yeah, you're
sleeping with that person. Oh yeah, absolutely, he was come
on down, no doubt in mama.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Why why are you gonna be surprised the person? So
you're just sleeping with the prison and then you do
expect that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I wasn't surprised, but but the question came caught me
off guard when it was asked.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
So it was kind of like, so you knew it
was coming eventually, it just he didn't know.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It was just enjoying the time. I wasn't thinking of whatever, Oh, let's.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Just keep it. I like this, I feel comfortable.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
And then she comes and sleep him, sweeps him off
his feet, and then he's like, knock you down.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
We was having fun and it was it was enjoyable.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
And sometimes guys just like that, like, let's just have fun,
no strings attached.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I don't want to hear that. I don't want to
hear related award. I don't want to hear that.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
But why But then they cannot Also what you swing
the other way too, you know what I'm saying, Like, Okay,
we're having fun. Me and you were having fun, but
then okay, I'm seeing somebody else. Sometimes they cannot even
handle that.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
That's that's why those things should have a conversation. You
have to have those conversations.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's that easy to have a conversation.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
It depends on your personality. Some people is easy, some
people is easy.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Depends on the kind of relationship you have, though. If
it's an open relationship where you can talk about stuff
and all of that, men.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Can't handle that. I don't care what nobody said. A
relationship where you cannot.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
You don't even talk about sex, like you don't have
conversations about sex, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
So yeah, okay, Then you said, you know, should you
be honest if you're not looking for anything serious? Yes,
even say that even if you know that they are.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Then you just say that.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I said, yes, you should.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, yes, because that's you know, you're setting that person
up for her if you're not, you know they're at
the same time that they're there, you be heard.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You say, the conversation should be had.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Forlis if you know, if I'm not feeling you like.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
That, no, period, The conversations should be.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Had if I'm not feeling you like that, even if
you're in general, Yeah, just in general, you should be
talking about what the expectations are.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Just to go with the person. That's me.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That's the recipe for disaster. But all right, So is
it okay to keep an ex in your life while
dating someone new? Listen and my f you're exclusive?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Listen, Well, some excess can be friends.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
It can just be it can just be your friend,
like someone you can count on you.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
It depends on the kind of X. So I'm telling you,
listen in my family that excess are there always, and
it's just one of them things. And my family that
my family does, the exes are always there. And my
husband has clearly told me when he becomes the ex
he's not gonna be there, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
No, but this is more or less like the exes,
meaning like you have conversations with the person there.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
I'm telling you, they it's just the thing my family.
You know, my my honest divorce from her husband, and
he is there at every cookout and family and all
of those things. They show up for everybody's party. My
cousin's divorced from her husband. That kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
That's always the relationship wise, it depends so divorce, I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah, they always and they got new spouses and and
bring the new spouses like it's just one of them
things in my family. And I remember my husband saying,
why is he here? Aren't they divorced? I'm like, oh, yeah,
just get you to it. It's just one of those things.
And and they bring the exes. They bring yeah, maybe spouses.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I guess it's not. Maybe a bad break up.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Oh no, it was a bad breakup. It was a
bad breaker and they still yeah, they still he still comes.
I mean, I'm not. I don't think that happened overnight.
But you know, her hard thing was we share children.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
And they're going to be that's different.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So they're always there, they're always around.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
All right, So you me, yes, you the question for
you and know your family.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Well, that's what she said. I would be comfortable. I
would be because that's what we have right now. It
would be normal for us. You know, how about you? Yeah,
that's what I'm thinking about. The flipping part.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
If he for ours he was, if he is married
or has his own has moved on, and am I allowed.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
To either way? Like, so we're gonna put it in
this perspective. Is it okay for you to have an.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
X and him to Okay, I get what you're saying,
him to have an ex and I don't know the
ex so I don't know their history and all that,
but I know I know myself.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But that's what he's going to say too, that he
knows himself.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Right, I know myself, and I know some exes are
like friends, like family family.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
They become like friend friend friend, and then you know that. Okay,
we're not crossing this line.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's just you you're saying, you're saying, on condition, like
you just said that you don't you don't know the X,
so you don't know what they have.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
So but on condition for mine, I know my ex
and I know what we have and I know it's over,
you know, But then I cannot trust that.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Their ex their ex.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I don't know what So what's the answer?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
So no, because well it's hard. It's hard.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
It's hard for me to decide because I don't want
to look selfish, but I want my ex in my life,
but I don't want their X in their life.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
But that's that's valid, Okay, that's vale. That's a valid answer.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
It is and she's trueful, truthful, okay.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
But then if their this is like the more of
their kids and so you know, so that that's everything.
Answering questions is kind of different for me, in.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Spite of you take yourself out of it.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
It's no, no, I'm saying, it's my questions. Answering questions in
this part of the world is kind of different for
me because they could have some crazy baby mamas. We
don't do all of them, Yes they do, we don't don't. Well,
I would date someone that would have a crazy baby.
But you know, I'm just saying, like, you know, we
don't do all that drama because ideally the man is
(13:32):
like the so, why would your wife or your whatever
come to my house? So if I was in Africa,
my kids, whatever, what would you be coming to our party?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It's over. The relationship is done because because the kids together,
No no.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
No, they're so if it's like something for my kids, yes,
but not something like my family we're having get together
or whatever in my house and.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
You're gonna come over in general generally speaking, but here, I'm.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Here now, so it's like, okay, it's kind of like acceptable.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah it people do it, people do it. Is different,
people do different.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
The question is, isn't acceptable We're talking we're taking the
personal thing in.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
It depends on only if it's my kids, but not
like inviting you to my house. We can we can
talk text whatever, like hey, what's up? What just know
what's going on in your life?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Okay, so let me let me, let me, let me
be the let me be the middle person, because you
guys are I'm.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Just telling you what happens in my family.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yeah, but I'm saying so the question is the question
is Is it okay for an ex not yours or yours?
Is it okay for an X to be part of
your life a person's life in a new relationship.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
What do you think in the part of how capacity like.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Just talking on the phone, you know, going out? No?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
No, no, like that's crossing the line.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And let me give you this scenario. To the X.
It was his leatest, his latest X. Right, they was
together for a long time, you know, they was in
love and all that other type stuff, and then something happened.
You know, now she's back calling, you know, and you
don't know what they're talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Because you're dating.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
That happened, but you don't know what they're talking about.
I will tell you I don't care.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, happening.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So then then the answer is so okay. So then
that means it should be applied both both ways. Okay,
all right, So you had to pull that out.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
But to be fair, I know, my ex, it.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Don't matter what, you know, what is the fact that
he don't know. He might be he might be like
a brother to you. But in that same note, the
other person may not know.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
It doesn't matter, you know, And you have to say, like,
you know, listen coming into my family. I'm letting you
know up front that the exes are always there. You know,
it doesn't mean that we have in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
But then so that's just how I feel like if
you say that, that's also opening the doors for him
to be like, okay, well it.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Was a little bit different because you're talking about family
of functions, family functions that what's different from the the
ex say, conversation relationship. That's talking about personal relationship.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I don't I probably wouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I wouldn't care if came to whatever everything that. You know,
when you're.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Talking about relationship, always call in the morning.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
How was your night? Yeah? Yeah, little too much? Yeah,
you're right, that's yeah, because they're not I don't believe
that they're they're doing that. Yeah all right.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
So yeah, what's a what's a red flag that should
send somebody running?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Too many baby mamas?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah? Okay, yeah, okay, what's what's too many? Like?
Speaker 3 (16:56):
If you have like one baby mama, like one child,
dispressed in one child?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
What makes me special? I'll say three, because people get
divorced and married you can and have kids. If it's two,
I get that you you were married, you had kids,
you got divorced, and you have more kids. I get that,
but when you add the third and a fourth and yeah, no, I'm.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Too many. Yes, two baby mamas, right, yes, okay, there's
too many. Depends on the situation.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It depends on the situation.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
So like one, okay, you couldn't make that work, and
then you're on the next one.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
You couldn't make that work. No, I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that they're divorced. It could still be
two baby mamas without a second divorce. They could still
be married and have children, so that it's still two
baby mamas in that rotation.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Okay, so you're saying, you're saying that's an indication.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
That there's a problem that he can't make it. Yeah,
he can't make it work.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Well, what if Well, I guess it could be that
he can't make it or he's just bad at selecting.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, that mean is definitely not going to work. Well,
maybe he was trying to make it work and she
cheated on him.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right, So it could be like if you if you
come to the guy didn't and you was he was
bad at selecting, but now he's selecting you.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Still I don't.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Care worth the risk, yes, because that means you cannot.
I kindot feel like, okay, yeah, I'm the best and
I'm gonna keep him, and I don't want to keep you.
Already you have two dramas already, so I can I
can't do it.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I could tell you as a guy, a guy will
have that's a red flag too, because it's not so
much the the person, it's the now I have to
deal with the baby daddy.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah, two different yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, two different ones. One is one is gonna be
difficult enough, but then you got two, and then you
you might say, well, okay, well you got two or
three baby daddies, and you know, you just make bad decisions,
you know, especially when it comes like, all right, so
this guy's in jail, this guy's those are the things
that really matter.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
So and also.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Its so if Also it's still the same with marriage.
I feel like you got married, you got divorced from
this person that married this person and got divorce.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
It's the same thing.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
My uncle be married five times.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You gotta look at yourself and be like, I'm the
wrong person in this equation. Yeah, they shouldn't even give
him a license. Yeah, that's multi marriages. Yeah, that would
be so many.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
I think you're spending habits.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Habits Okay, Like so if a person spends what frivolously
or it doesn't spend enough.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Too stingy, Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Can but yeah, that could be that could be changed
because that's a conditional. It's not it's not seriously.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Giver giving.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
So I'm gonna give you an example of the bad
side and the good side. So you have somebody who
in this household that counts the toilet.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Sheets, Yeah, toilet paper. We're not going would you do that?
Like people out there?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah? People or people that to say, that's what you
could tell them, like really really stingy that they they'll
keep the air conditioning on sixty five because they don't
want to pay.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I'm not a singure person, so I can't work.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, so yeah, or rent out the paper towels and
you can you know again the paper plate. Yeah, you know,
extreme cheap skates that just cannot work. I'm with you
on that one. Now.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Now it might be somebody who just just fruggle with
themselves or just or or saving for a certain thing,
or have goals.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
If you say this is my goal, and this is
why I'm being tight with my money. Then I might
I might say that, you know, I want to pay
for my house for cash. I don't want to get along.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
So yeah, but it depends on what you're If you're
not doing this stuff you're supposed to do, I don't
care what you're.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
About to do.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I mean the stuff you're supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
If you're not doing the stuff that you should do,
like important things like if you're not dressing nice and.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Well, they might not feel like is important. Clearly sho. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Like you should like we can't go out and you
look homeless. You know what I'm saying, No, can I work?
So the important stuff you can say. I'm not saying
break the bank or whatever. Save some don't. I don't
want to. I don't want someone that spends too much
either on stupid things. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
But let's let's be able to go out on the date.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Don't say, hey, let's eat in, let's eat in all
the time four hours, seven days. Become bifold because you
don't want to spend.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Okay, so give you give an example of that. So
now instead of going out, you don't really drink, but
instead of going out.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
What do you mean, really, I don't drink. You can
drink really whatever.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You you've had a taste it before, Yeah, but I
don't drink, Okay, so you don't know that's really So
you go out to a restaurant, like say you want
to go you want to you're going out because you
want a certain meal, and you go down hand and
it's going to be expensive, and then you gotta you
want to drink, right, and then you gotta worry about driving,
you gotta worry about ubers, you gotta worry about the atmosphere. Right.
(22:09):
So you might say, well, you know, that's a lot
of money you're thrown out there, and you gotta worry
about this, this and that.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
If you think about that, about being stingy, because it's
not more it's not always about the money.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
It's about the being practical and also about the safety
and being safe. Right, So you decide to say, well,
we can do that, we can do the same thing.
I'm still you're still paying for the food and you're
paying for the drinks.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Red flag red flag alart.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
That might that might be going out is also is
different from the atmosphere being in the house. You know
what I'm saying going out, that I got to dress up,
which is important to.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Why Why do you think you can't dress up in
the house?
Speaker 3 (22:48):
No dresses up in this That's what he keeps telling me.
Nobody dresses up in the house. What am I going
to dress up two seconds to go clean the dishes.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
That's what keeps saying no, because you're the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
That's what he keeps telling me.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Like every time I talk about dressing up, he says,
you can always dress up in the house. I say,
if I say I want to, I don't want to.
I don't want to take her stay home job or
whatever whatever job, because I don't get to dress up
and go out like you can dress up.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
In a kind of mistake. Really exactly, she doesn't. I'm
telling you, like, you just can't.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
What's preventing you from dressing up at home?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Nobody is doing that. I'm not putting on a beat
face and high heels shoes my bedroom, get the table.
Yeah no, I'm not that. Like nobody. You don't even
dress up in your own house.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
So what about But it's different. You like to dress up, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
But then it's just gonna make me sad. Yeah, it's
gonna be depressing for me. Like dressing up. The old
point is to take to be outside there just make
myself feel good, you know. And the why do I
want to dress up in the house?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
The thing. The thing is you can't judge it by
it just because.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You don't even dress up when you're going out. Depends
dressing up in the house I do.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
It depends on what I'm doing. If I'm not dressing
up to go to or costco or see or whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Okay, I'm gonna need for you to dress up to
go to dress dress up just there's there's a level
to the dress up.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
You know that there's levels this dress up that he
puts on.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Stupid.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
It depends whatever zeper thing that I hate so much
that I'm gonna trash.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It depends. It depends what you think. Dress up is
just dress up you if you if you're going out
all right, for example, for example, all right, if I say,
all right, we're going downtown, We're going to this place.
It was a nice place down there. We go downtown
and we're gonna you know, it's an atmosphere and you
you're gonna have a good meal drinking. Then you dress up.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
He's had to wear I'm not dog dog walking clothes.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm not going to I'm not going to the freaking
tackle bell or uh regular place. And I'm I'm I'm
over dressed.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Not over dressed.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Shirt.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
No, that's not dressing up. Also, no dress Like I said, it's.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
So dressing up also has to do with like put
on a nice T shirt whatever. But then it's not
about him not putting on the nice T shirts or whatever.
It's the thing he puts on top of it.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, she's talking about my my, my fleece whatever. Ye
doesn't have a hood. Yeah it's a jacket I hate
that I wear when I walk the dogs.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, you walk the dogs, but you also go out
like that.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Sometimes sometimes it's just even you just don't doesn't just care.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I'm just saying. I'm not saying.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I'm just saying, you just don't care about dressing up.
So we cannot be We cannot have this conversation anyway
because your school is different.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Different. So he tells me, you're saying.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Dress up in the house, dressing up in your house.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
No no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
You're not dressing up in your house exactly.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
You're you're falling away from what we're talking about. So
you just because the person we're talking about, because you're
going on a date. Yeah, just because the person is stinky,
because you want to go out and dress up. There's
times when you do go out and dress up, doesn't
mean that the person you have to do it like
every time.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
That's what I'm not saying.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Every time I said, if you can arguing, if that's
what you said, you said, oh well the person can
think about Okay, it's stressful.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
To go take it.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Sometimes you do want to something.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Because sometimes not all the time, all the time and
all the time you want.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
To be in and and and kill me already.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I didn't say all the time. I don't even do
that all the time. It depends.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
You see people you people watch whatever, do whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's because you want to be watched.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
No except people watch. I just look at me, I said.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
That's what it is.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I am not you know, I'm not whatever. That's creepy.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Like to be watching watch.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
So being stingy and excessive spinning are two red flegs
for me. Also, like I said, smoking and drinking alcohol excessively,
those are red flegs smoking generally or smoking excessively, smoking
in general, I'm not. I don't smoke, and I don't
want somebody who smokes. Smoking and enough both kind of things.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
The smoking is definitely for me, that's.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
That's a red Yeah. Yeah, but to be fair.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
That's not that's a deal breaker.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, it's a deal breaker.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
But to be fair, they say people that smoke or
whatever smoke like weed, it's medicinal.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
All them people ain't. It's ain't medicinal because they.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Can they can do edibles, and they got all yeah,
they like smoking weed, they like smoking. I'm not buying
the story. So smoking and then and then the thing
is if you if that's your thing, that's fine. But
you when you're smoking weed, you smell, right.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
That's the thing. For me. It's the smell. It's not
that you do it because I really don't care. I
smoked enough weed in my lifetime. I really don't care
about that. But the it's smell, the smell, I don't.
I don't like this. Man.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
And then you cannot the breath and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah, yeah, I can't.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
So that's it, all right. My habits deal breaker with
some habits. That's me for me, a big one. Wait
wait wait, wait wait wait, let me finish my habit.
That's harmless. But you just don't like.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
That's what I'm saying. Biting nails terrible.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Oh my god, you're already a red flag already, like you.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Just the whole red flag over there. Just sit down
and sit over there. Oh yeah, biting nails. It's definitely.
I'm trying to think of what harmeless putting.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
You know, this might not this might not feel some
type of way people, but for me, I cannot. It
just kind of does something to me mentally. I know
we live in the same house, you know, but I
don't want to watch my mand go into the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Some people do can close that door. Some people don't
feel like it's anything, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
They don't feel like women is like that for me.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
No, for me, no, I don't.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
It kind of reduces how I feel about you, kind
of reduces what I think about you, Like I feel
all this masculinity that I'm looking at and you it
just kind of just goes down.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Because he's masculine and once you take a.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Dumb nose, you're taking a dumb poop.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, you're no longer.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Met because yeah, I don't want to watch you. Yes,
it's some people don't care, you know what I'm saying.
They don't care in the bathroom money, in the bathroom together.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yeah, honey, honey, can you pass me? No, I don't
want to think about it that you're doing that. If
I use, I just don't want to look at Yeah.
If I if I have to use the bathroom, I
lock the doors.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I just want to be.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I don't want you to even know think about that,
because that's how I feel like be for you as well.
You know what I'm saying. It's like a private thing.
You know, people don't care. They just don't care enough
for me to you. Yes, so you know that that
is a harmless but it's.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I think I think it's more than just harmless because
you still we had to talk about this before. You
still are you should have some level of privacy.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, yes, period period.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
You know, so some level of privacy and people don't care.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
I cannot share to brushes, so people some people don't
care about stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I'm telling you, And people saying you kiss them, though,
I'm like, I don't care. I don't, I don't Some
people don't care about stuff like this is my own mouth.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I have something to admit. I use both your too.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
You don't have you don't have access to my tooth brush.
So yeah, stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Some people don't care, or some men don't care to
do that.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
With that, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I don't know anybody who.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I'm telling you people, Yes, they do the fresh. Yes,
I'm telling you, like on vacations. And then you're like, okay,
I left my too brush at home.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Can I use your No, you can't go down to
the lobby and get telling you nope, can never work.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
No, you said you better use the stick.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah I'm not. I'm telling other than my bamboo, whatever
it is. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I don't care, not mine, like so those are the
things that I like, their hamlets, but no, they're just
for me.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, I don't want to know snore. He can't. He
can't help.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Because I cannot sleep because I have to wake you
like a thousand times, like please, can you adjust? I
just I just, I just I just so there's times
I can understand, like once in a while when you're tired, yes,
or you know what.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
These are red flag? It's red flag for me, but
you but you, So you get to that that point,
like there's a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Are you sleeping with somebody? Is that what you're saying
before you sleep with somebody? But well, it's also a
red flag. Okay, it's a red flag.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
If I have sex with you one time and you're
snoring the next day, I'm done. She's like about I
know they can't help it, you know what I'm saying.
But I'm not going to judge you based on that.
But if it's like every day I cannot sleep, like
like whatever comes on, Like I'm a very light sleeper,
So it's going to make you difficult, difficult for me
to actually catch some sleep if you keep going to
(32:30):
do that. Only if we're going to stay in separate rooms.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Okay with that too. So what are your quirkies? Because
you didn't say any.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Smoking is a deal break, so I don't even say
that's a that's a I don't I don't know of
any small things.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
How about chewing using your hair?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
All right? So fortunately you have so fortunately I have
never had to you know, as far as on the
date or anything like that. I never had to deal
with that. I've never met a woman who who did that.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
That that will bother me, but you know it would,
but it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be it wouldn't be
a deal break or anything like that. You just you know,
that's like, how can you deal that?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Because I see that after a while on your last telling.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
But I can, I can get past it. I can say,
you know, you're not gonna find You're not gonna find
a perfect person. So that's that's what said. I would say,
you know, it could be worse, you know, like you
know she gotta go to the bathroom and you know
you just had to walk in and she got a
needle stick it out of arm.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah that's a problem.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Right So for me, drug.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Use, Yeah, that's not a quirky hunt. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
What they say is harmless, but I'm saying that. Some
people say it's harmless, you know, but I to me,
it's not. It's not something I can't get past that.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
It is not harmless or any type of addictions though, yes, well.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I won't say any addiction you can have. I'm addicted
to sugar.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
And or used to be and and porn.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
No, I'm not addicted porn, but I didn't say that.
You said you said I like porn, but you know
I'm not addicted. So I was looking at this commercial
and it said for a d h D. It was
that you have.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
He does, right, I think so.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
So the guy says, you know, those are the certain
things that that indicate that you have ADHD. And he's
part of He said, you.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Have eight other six.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
If you you know, watch porn addicted to porn. So
it's not really an addiction itself, it's just because of ADHD.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
That Why is it porn? What the news?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
No, but it's because it might be you ain't gonna
get the same effect watching the news, So I don't
know if it's because you're it's firing off your.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
That oto and your brain reacts to that, and that's
that gives you that little high. Same thing with like
the gambling and the drug use, it all hits that
party and video games. Yeah, so that's what.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, but yeah, I don't have too many not to me,
hm hmmm. I have to come back on that. But
so you had this date and like, all right, so
how do you politely tell somebody that you're not interested
after the date. How would you politely.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Just give excuses?
Speaker 1 (35:44):
That's kind that could come back to bite you though.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Well, yes, I don't really like I'm not a direct person.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
You do not talk to somebody nicely.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
No, I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, so how would you do it?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
That's what I'm saying. Just make excuse.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I'm busy today, I cannot make it today, I cannot
do this tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Oh yeah, all right, my message ten ten times, you're
going to be like, I'm.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Not gonna date. Oh, you may say it telling them. Yeah,
you should be able to You should be able to
get the message. Yeah. Sometimes sometimes they don't. I don't know.
That's I think that would be hard for me too.
But you would have to just be like, what cycle,
I had a really good time at dinner, but I
think I'm moving in another direction. Oh that that's bad
(36:29):
away from me. I wouldn't say away with you, but
I'm moving in another direction. Okay, I can go with you.
I can go with you.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I can go with you in the next Direct's what
he say. We can move together in the next direction.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
So for me, but I would do with something easy.
I'm like, you know, it's.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Easy for guys like he cannot. He cannot do that
because a lot of people frustrate him. He puts himself
into all these situations where and then they keep calling
him constantly. He says, don't call me, and then they
keep calling constantly. Then he gets mad and you can't
tell them or block them off, you know what I'm saying,
And he puts himself in the situations I.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Don't like exactly. Yes, that's to me, that's kind of rude.
Especially you don't tell them that you're gonna block them
like they just found find out. So what I would
if I had to do it, I would be like,
you know, I don't think this is going to work.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I told that, I have ever told you want that exactly,
so you cannot. So that means you can, I'm saying,
I'm like, how about people? That boy?
Speaker 3 (37:31):
How about people? So there was this girl that loved him.
I'm putting his business out.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
There that a lot.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I liked him a lot, She was quick, great, and
she just sends him random messages, pumped off point, different messages,
off point, off point, off point. He could I'm like,
why are you putting up with stuff like that? Like
why because she she made up all these scenarios. I'm like,
are you sure? You guys never had anything before. It's
(37:59):
like ever, I'm like, are you sure? Because this president
is so possessive and so jealous and so scary everything.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
You know what I'm saying. And I'm like, to this day,
you did not block this person. You didn't tell her off, because.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I'm gonna tell you why. Because the person I like
the I like the as a person.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
He give her You just can't give her green you know,
he gave her green flax and then he saw the
ohs green flags or whatever.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, you didn't give a red flags like okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
So you can tell when you get to a certain
point spending.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Time together and stuff like that. Yeah whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
But I wouldn't say so. Let me put it this way.
What I did was, you know, but the person was
a nice person. I thought it was a nice person.
I just didn't I want to be in that space
with the person. So what I started doing when it
when the conversations would go to things like that, I
would just say something like uh, ignorant, Like I would
(38:58):
say something that would normally turn somebody off, you know,
and that usually works to kind of like reset. So
you know, it might be like give me a snare
or something that somebody.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Would say, hey, why don't you come over tonight?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
I would say, oh, you say nothing? Could I bring
my toy bag?
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Or he would say he would you just deflects, and
I think he'll just ask her about I think you
mostly always say talk about the other guy.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Just you say something like can I bring my toy bag?
And she said yes? And then what you like?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Then you start She's right on that. I would. I would.
I would mention the other guy. Yeah, I'll say, well
what about such and such?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
You okay?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
You know? All right? So that does, but I do
like for other people that I don't want to go
down that road. I would say something that was inappropriate,
like really inappropriate.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Say the only thing about this cycle was you always
s and something appropriate. So it's a different day.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
But it depends on You're like, all right, So it
depends on your relationship. So I've known you guys for
a long time, so I could say something inappropriate and
you're you know, it's kind.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Of you just and just look at my eyes.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
But some other people when you say something inappropriated, be like,
oh my god, I don't call me no more.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'll about people that d G though, right, because there's
some people out there to be like good with that.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Well, then then then I have to I have to
read just because I've been in that situation where they
don't care.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah, they don't care. It's hard. It's hard because you
really don't want to hurt somebody's feelings, but you really
need to back out of it. I have this funny
story about him that keeps Listen, you sit there and
you take because you're always talking.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
About him trying to He was trying. So he talks
to all these people, right, and then one day he got.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Scared, scared, let me talk.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
He got scared that one so does this young girl
he's talked to in Africa. And then he goes care
that she was going to come over, she's going to
get a visa. Was looking like, oh my god, this
get to really actually get to the visa to come
stay here with me, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
And then he was like, oh my god, what is it.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
What's it going to do?
Speaker 3 (41:16):
It doesn't know that that's what you get. You know
what Unfortunately she didn't get the visa. I was so
sad because it should have been able to see how.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, let me tell it. Let me tell you the
real story. Let me tell the real story. Like all right,
so I do I do?
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I do?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Say, you know, hey, you ever get here?
Speaker 2 (41:34):
That's what he doesn't need it.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
You know, I didn't mean minutes and no, no, no, no,
I do mean it. I just don't think it's ever gonna.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Happen, so that you don't mean, but I do mean it.
But if you get it done, that is never going
to happen. What is that?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
No, I just think it's you know, it's like.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
You know, it's like, oh well they're never going to
get a visa.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
So just saying if you to, you know, get over
that hill, that mountain or whatever, but you can no,
because this is the this is the part you missed.
So in between that time, the person started really working
my nerves, really working my nerves, and I was like,
I was like so, I was like so even then
(42:15):
my whole thing was like, all right, what am I
gonna do?
Speaker 2 (42:17):
And she actually shows up no.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Because well what the thing was all I have a
have a brother.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Was trying to and I'm like, no's you're gonna know.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
But so the thing was, the thing was, and I
I talked to her about that. It's like, you know,
I go, brother, he might you know, he'll need some help,
you know this and that whateverever.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
So she's here for you.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
So no, she's she is here for you, but whatever.
So so the point was I was I was gonna
pass them off with him. But then but even even
with that, it was like that that in between times
like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
So yeah, they worked out.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Oh god, Okay, let's wrap because we have just lost me.
This train is off the track, all right.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Last last time we're talking about is do you think
it's chivalry dead, outdated or evolving?
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Oh? It's evolving.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
You think it's evolving.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
I think it depends on the generation. Okay, I do.
I think it depends on the generation.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
The older generation is still still but the younger generation
is not. Is it evolved into what? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Not? One thing like men hold the door for older
You know, the men in my generation will hold the
door for you. The men in this generation be like
looking at you like you're crazy if you're standing there
waiting for him to open.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
Some women also think that you're you're what's like if
you're feminist. The feminists also so it's crazy, like it's
kind of crazy, but like why you're opening the door,
So don't open the door.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
We have the equal rights.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
So I do think this is the age of confusion, yes,
because you know, men don't know how to act, women
don't know how to act, you know. And then sometimes
you know, back in the older generation, everything was defined,
you know, that is true, you know, or you might
say those little tasks like like I said, my love
(44:23):
language was acts of service, right, so a person made like, well,
I'm not doing that, where back in the day they
would do it, you know, when I talked about like
you're at a picnic or whatever or or barbecue and
you're going to get somebody's food, right because you know whatever.
So now men just everybody's confused.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Nobody because so every these days, everybody's just on their
own because they don't want to offend the next person
because you don't know what works for them or what
it is.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Now you can't.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
You might offer to open the door for a lady,
I should like you think I kind of opened my own.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Door or see better than me. Blah blah blah blah blah.
You know what.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Yeah, so stuff like that happens these days. So well,
I hate that that.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
I've seen guys hold the door for somebody and they
won't say thank you. They just walk right through and
they're like rude.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
So yeah, so these days it's just like craziness.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Funny. My son is old school when it comes to that.
He knows and even because that's what you taught him, right,
So like she knows that she's supposed to be the inside.
You know when I walk on the street, right, Well,
I didn't learn that. You learned that.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
Yeah, that's I didn't learn that initially until you you
have to enforce.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
It, right. But you know I'm quick to say, you know,
to you, I'll say, stop trying to.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
That's what I'm saying. So, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It wasn't a thing for me. I didn't think nothing
of it before, or maybe because I never used to
walk on the street.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
That's right, she was, she was carried.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
You know what, what is wrong with you?
Speaker 1 (45:53):
But you don't think it's outdated though.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Like I said, I think it depends on the generation.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
You still want the chivalry.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Yeah, how about you, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Sometimes you don't care, but you're a younger generation.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So yeah, it's like you said some things like if
if it's an ordinary day, I don't I don't care.
If my husband opened the door the car door for
me and that dressed up we're going out, I want
you to open a car situation. Yeah, situation for me.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
I'm like, don't be extra the time. It isn't to
open this door. It will be nice, but we just
gotten going. Let's get going, Like okay, I'm going to
open my door.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Like yeah, so some situation.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
So yeah, it depends on what it is not for
me opening the door is like too extra for me,
but maybe something else like nice.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
I don't know. I like she thinks that he should
pay for the first day yea, yeah, I'm not paying
for that exactly.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
So yeah, okay, So I think I'm more you said,
I'm more old school when it comes to stuff like that,
especially when it's situational.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Even before I have to know you have.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Let me, I said, situational all you haven't You haven't
I always say, always a matter of fact, I always remind.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
You that you should open the door. You want to
open the door?
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Which door, like if we're going in some place.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
No, I'm taking your car door. No, you have no because.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
No, because if we were, if you were, if you were,
if you and I was going out and we were
dressed up in a certain way, we're going to you
know what, whatever, then you get.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
The whole right, right, I want you to open a car.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
But even in casual what I always say to you,
I always I got the door, you know, I would say,
stop trying to emasculate me when you walk in outside
and when you open the door, saying the door to
the car, the door because you because you fast you
go up there. I mean, you know I don't. I
don't need you to open the door. You didn't just
(47:50):
say that, right, And and I'll even I will even
help you all into the car.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Yeah, right, we can live without that. You know. One
of the reasons why a lot of times I will
check my bag in the airport is because I can't
reach the overhead and a lot of people will not
help you. A lot of men won't come to help
you get that. You just be holding up traffic. You can't,
you know, And some guys it really is. It really
(48:21):
is sad to be sure. So like a lot of
times I won't do a carry on because people will
men will not come and help you put that thing up.
Or a tall woman I'll take her too.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
But in general, speaking of which, how about having to,
like on the bus, having to stand up for an
older person.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
I will stand up for older Yeah, I will do that. Yeah,
I will do that. Young kids don't, They don't. They
don't care, Like I paid my fare, you paid your fare.
You just yeah, But it was just one of them
things that we were taught. Pregnant woman or you know,
you stand up, yeah, you give them your seat.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Yeah, yeah, I think I think I follow most of those.
Maybe not always, like with open car door because it's
out of convenience, you know. But even then it's like
I'll pull up to like you've guys been with me,
I say, I'm gonna drop you off at the front
because it's raining, right, stuff like that. But I'm very nice. Yeah,
(49:17):
this has been a very interesting conversation, and.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
I'm glad that we have different generations because it's definitely
different now.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Yeah, it really is. So you guys, what do you
guys think? Leave us a comment? If you see it
on social media or on the website or whatever, leave
us a comment. What do you think has things changed? Etiquette?
The dating etiquette need to be revamped, you know.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
I don't know. It's a lot of things that need
to be revamped.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
So overall, do you think it's getting better or worse?
Speaker 2 (49:46):
I don't know because I'm not dating, you know, Okay, okay,
what about you. I'm gonna say worse though, because I hear,
like you said, I hear my girls talk about dating,
and my son said he just he ain't doing it.
He's like, like, I'm just out. I'm Outtim, I don't.
I don't know. He's just like I think part of
(50:07):
that what killed it is a lot of the social
media things has killed him. Like you know, you see
those scenarios where she ordered five entrees and he's like,
I'm not putting up.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
I tell you, it's definitely difficult for guys. I'm pretty
sure it's difficult for women as well. But you know,
I guess you just have to find your your way.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
Yeah, yeah, some sort of way, because I don't think
anybody wants to be lonely or not have somebody or
something in your life. You know at the end of
the day.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
All right, men, step up your game.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Women, stop acting crazy. I shouldn't have said that I
would get attacked. I know I'm gonna get attacked.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
But yeah, you're gonna have a word of today for
this episode as well.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
Etiquette.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Etiquette. Okay, So last last episode was Digger, Go Digger.
This one's etiquette. Okay, we got you and you guys again.
You get those birds of the day in at the
end of the month because you can win a prize.
You can win a prize, and we're gonna do still
do comedy tickets, comedy show tickets, and it doesn't have
(51:11):
to be here, and our location could be in your location,
so you know, send it to w W I'm sorry,
send it to Hot Topics h O T t O
p i X podcast at gmail dot com. You can
send your information in there. And also if you want
to join our we call it the poll group or
(51:33):
the people who leave comments, whatever you can. If you
have What's app, you can go to four four three
eight six zero two seven one six hit us up
on what's app over there and you know, join the group.
We'll put you in.
Speaker 2 (51:47):
Read your comments online.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Yes on there have been some funny comments. All Right
leads last
You're listening to the Hot Topics podcast Psycho forty one,
Lovely Lady, Lamb Chop and the Fabulous Blownia is Better.
Let's get into it. Back for part two of the
(00:29):
Dating Etiquette Modern Dating at Modern Modern Etiquette. Okay, so
last week, last we was here, we talked about money
and expectations. Don't want to get into the intentions and honesty.
That's that's really where the meat comes in, right, Yeah,
So first question would be when, because we mentioned talk
(00:50):
about certain things, when it gets a certain point, when
is the right time to talk about exclusiveivity.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I don't think it's a you can't say, like after
the fourth date, I'm going to talk about this, because
you might not know after the fourth date. But I
think in your in your heart and in your mind,
when you realize that I think I might really want
something with this person, and that's when you have to
start talking about your intention.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
So you don't think it's like a benchmark or well.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I ain't gonna date you twenty times and be like
out here twenty times, like ohn't know, because at that point, you.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Know, yeah, twenty times could be what a month? If
you go out every week, you can because Dyton, don't
have to be just going to the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But true, true, you're do stuff. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
That's hard, is it?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Is it a time where you have a certain feeling or.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah maybe that's what I said, with your heart and
your mind is just no time. Yeah, that's hard.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Time, that's hard.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
It's got to be time too, because like you said,
it could be a month, or it could be six
weeks or you know, some people are like I knew
after the third date we were gonna be together.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
For me, it's always the guy first whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So you just followed his lead.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yes, okay, so yes, if you think, if you think
I'm worth it to keep me, then whatever you want.
But then ideally for us is once I did you,
I'm teaching you. If I find out you're talking to
somebody of whatever, it's after.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
The first date.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, okay, yeah, going on the date, and we like
each other, we dig like after, So after the first
date determines if we're going to keep talking or seeing
each other, you know what I'm saying. So from then on,
I feel like, okay, like we like each other and
all of that. Okay, this person I'm talking to, this
person already.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Sometimes you don't even have to.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Sometimes people don't even say, hey, would you be my girlfriend?
But just keep going, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
You just roll into yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Tell somebody says that magic phrase what what are we?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Oh? Okay, what? Well? What are we?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
You can only ask what are we if you feel
like the person is no, because let me.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Tell you, I've been in a situation where the woman
asked what are we? And for me it was kind
of awkward because you know, feelings are involved, and but
it's fair because because feelings are involved, and that person
might want to know, like how should we proceed or
how are we? Am I okay to date someone else?
(03:18):
Are you.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Not going forward?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So? What are we? Kind of makes me weak?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So what do we? Makes you weak?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
What are we?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Saying? What are we? You? You feel like, okay, it's
a turn on for you? Makes you weak in that way?
It makes me no turn on?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Week makes me feel vulnerable?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yes, okay, okay, kind of yes, So I won't say
that would that's something like anything you want?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So you're not going to say that to him?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
So hers is ninety percent ego whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Listen, men got big egos. Women can have big egos too,
we do.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So yeah, So how long does it take you to.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Know if we're going to be exclusive? Probably fifth or
sixth or second we have sex?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh wow, Okay, what's the next question? I can't even I.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Can no, no, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Actually, ideally we don't want to have sex until we're something.
But then there's also there's also a scenario if we're
like friends of benefit or if you're in a situation
and I know, okay, maybe you know. So it depends
on whatever's going on that will make you want to
feel like, okay, are we.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
But it needs to be talked about though. Yeah nobody
nobody thinks the same way.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
But sometimes and sometimes you find out, like in stories
scenarios and things I've seen, like they start off as okay,
we're just going to be friends, and next thing during
this complicated relationship where you cannot you don't know how
to back down, you don't know how to move forward,
you know, And.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
People honestly have these conversations, let's be fair, they honestly
have I think they are.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So I think the thing is you have to have
those conversations because one things could be misinterpreted.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
So I was talking to someone from my past, from
past past, long time ago.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
In your past.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
So no matter how I want you say, past past past.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Somebody passed and it came to you know, it was
it was like a revelation, like, well, why did we split? Right?
And it was because of a miscommunication or misreading of
people's actions, and that was it. So it had nothing
to do with anything else. But because we never had
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You know, So does that mean you've had that conversation
in the next relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, I ain't learned from that.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
See, That's why I said, all people really having these conversations,
I didn't learn.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Let me see, No, actually I remember, but but it
was I had that conversation with somebody.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
But you just only had the conversation recently. So this
was so then you didn't learn from that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
I didn't know, no, no, but but but after her,
I've had conversations whatever, But I didn't. You know, it
wasn't because that was because somebody pose a question to me.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
So like today, have you ever been in a situation
where the persons like that we ending like yes, and
it's awkward for you.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yes, because That's that's what I was talking about. Like
it was. It was awkward for me because I was
thinking one thing and I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So you were just like we just hanging and chilling
and they were like, oh, this is a relationship. Yeah okay, So.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
How did you get yourself out of that? You had
to you forced into the relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So so the when that question came up, I said, well,
we're just friends, but you know, you know whatever, ever,
and I kind of felt I knew, first of all,
you're not going to ask that question unless you have
intentions of sort. So I said friends. And it's kind
of like things happened after that that kind of you know,
made us go our separate ways, you.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Know, because they were expecting something else. Clearly, Yeah, you're
sleeping with that person. Oh yeah, absolutely, he was come
on down, no doubt in mama.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Why why are you gonna be surprised the person? So
you're just sleeping with the prison and then you do
expect that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I wasn't surprised, but but the question came caught me
off guard when it was asked.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
So it was kind of like, so you knew it
was coming eventually, it just he didn't know.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It was just enjoying the time. I wasn't thinking of whatever, Oh, let's.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Just keep it. I like this, I feel comfortable.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
And then she comes and sleep him, sweeps him off
his feet, and then he's like, knock you down.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
We was having fun and it was it was enjoyable.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
And sometimes guys just like that, like, let's just have fun,
no strings attached.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I don't want to hear that. I don't want to
hear related award. I don't want to hear that.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
But why But then they cannot Also what you swing
the other way too, you know what I'm saying, Like, Okay,
we're having fun. Me and you were having fun, but
then okay, I'm seeing somebody else. Sometimes they cannot even
handle that.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
That's that's why those things should have a conversation. You
have to have those conversations.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's that easy to have a conversation.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
It depends on your personality. Some people is easy, some
people is easy.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Depends on the kind of relationship you have, though. If
it's an open relationship where you can talk about stuff
and all of that, men.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Can't handle that. I don't care what nobody said. A
relationship where you cannot.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
You don't even talk about sex, like you don't have
conversations about sex, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
So yeah, okay, Then you said, you know, should you
be honest if you're not looking for anything serious? Yes,
even say that even if you know that they are.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Then you just say that.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I said, yes, you should.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, yes, because that's you know, you're setting that person
up for her if you're not, you know they're at
the same time that they're there, you be heard.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You say, the conversation should be had.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Forlis if you know, if I'm not feeling you like.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
That, no, period, The conversations should be.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Had if I'm not feeling you like that, even if
you're in general, Yeah, just in general, you should be
talking about what the expectations are.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Just to go with the person. That's me.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That's the recipe for disaster. But all right, So is
it okay to keep an ex in your life while
dating someone new? Listen and my f you're exclusive?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Listen, Well, some excess can be friends.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
It can just be it can just be your friend,
like someone you can count on you.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
It depends on the kind of X. So I'm telling you,
listen in my family that excess are there always, and
it's just one of them things. And my family that
my family does, the exes are always there. And my
husband has clearly told me when he becomes the ex
he's not gonna be there, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
No, but this is more or less like the exes,
meaning like you have conversations with the person there.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
I'm telling you, they it's just the thing my family.
You know, my my honest divorce from her husband, and
he is there at every cookout and family and all
of those things. They show up for everybody's party. My
cousin's divorced from her husband. That kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
That's always the relationship wise, it depends so divorce, I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah, they always and they got new spouses and and
bring the new spouses like it's just one of them
things in my family. And I remember my husband saying,
why is he here? Aren't they divorced? I'm like, oh, yeah,
just get you to it. It's just one of those things.
And and they bring the exes. They bring yeah, maybe spouses.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I guess it's not. Maybe a bad break up.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Oh no, it was a bad breakup. It was a
bad breaker and they still yeah, they still he still comes.
I mean, I'm not. I don't think that happened overnight.
But you know, her hard thing was we share children.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
And they're going to be that's different.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So they're always there, they're always around.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
All right, So you me, yes, you the question for
you and know your family.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Well, that's what she said. I would be comfortable. I
would be because that's what we have right now. It
would be normal for us. You know, how about you? Yeah,
that's what I'm thinking about. The flipping part.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
If he for ours he was, if he is married
or has his own has moved on, and am I allowed.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
To either way? Like, so we're gonna put it in
this perspective. Is it okay for you to have an.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
X and him to Okay, I get what you're saying,
him to have an ex and I don't know the
ex so I don't know their history and all that,
but I know I know myself.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But that's what he's going to say too, that he
knows himself.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Right, I know myself, and I know some exes are
like friends, like family family.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
They become like friend friend friend, and then you know that. Okay,
we're not crossing this line.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's just you you're saying, you're saying, on condition, like
you just said that you don't you don't know the X,
so you don't know what they have.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
So but on condition for mine, I know my ex
and I know what we have and I know it's over,
you know, But then I cannot trust that.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Their ex their ex.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I don't know what So what's the answer?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
So no, because well it's hard. It's hard.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
It's hard for me to decide because I don't want
to look selfish, but I want my ex in my life,
but I don't want their X in their life.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
But that's that's valid, Okay, that's vale. That's a valid answer.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
It is and she's trueful, truthful, okay.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
But then if their this is like the more of
their kids and so you know, so that that's everything.
Answering questions is kind of different for me, in.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Spite of you take yourself out of it.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
It's no, no, I'm saying, it's my questions. Answering questions in
this part of the world is kind of different for
me because they could have some crazy baby mamas. We
don't do all of them, Yes they do, we don't don't. Well,
I would date someone that would have a crazy baby.
But you know, I'm just saying, like, you know, we
don't do all that drama because ideally the man is
(13:32):
like the so, why would your wife or your whatever
come to my house? So if I was in Africa,
my kids, whatever, what would you be coming to our party?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It's over. The relationship is done because because the kids together,
No no.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
No, they're so if it's like something for my kids, yes,
but not something like my family we're having get together
or whatever in my house and.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
You're gonna come over in general generally speaking, but here, I'm.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Here now, so it's like, okay, it's kind of like acceptable.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah it people do it, people do it. Is different,
people do different.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
The question is, isn't acceptable We're talking we're taking the
personal thing in.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
It depends on only if it's my kids, but not
like inviting you to my house. We can we can
talk text whatever, like hey, what's up? What just know
what's going on in your life?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Okay, so let me let me, let me, let me
be the let me be the middle person, because you
guys are I'm.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Just telling you what happens in my family.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yeah, but I'm saying so the question is the question
is Is it okay for an ex not yours or yours?
Is it okay for an X to be part of
your life a person's life in a new relationship.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
What do you think in the part of how capacity like.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Just talking on the phone, you know, going out? No?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
No, no, like that's crossing the line.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And let me give you this scenario. To the X.
It was his leatest, his latest X. Right, they was
together for a long time, you know, they was in
love and all that other type stuff, and then something happened.
You know, now she's back calling, you know, and you
don't know what they're talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Because you're dating.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
That happened, but you don't know what they're talking about.
I will tell you I don't care.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, happening.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So then then the answer is so okay. So then
that means it should be applied both both ways. Okay,
all right, So you had to pull that out.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
But to be fair, I know, my ex, it.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Don't matter what, you know, what is the fact that
he don't know. He might be he might be like
a brother to you. But in that same note, the
other person may not know.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
It doesn't matter, you know, And you have to say, like,
you know, listen coming into my family. I'm letting you
know up front that the exes are always there. You know,
it doesn't mean that we have in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
But then so that's just how I feel like if
you say that, that's also opening the doors for him
to be like, okay, well it.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Was a little bit different because you're talking about family
of functions, family functions that what's different from the the
ex say, conversation relationship. That's talking about personal relationship.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I don't I probably wouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I wouldn't care if came to whatever everything that. You know,
when you're.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Talking about relationship, always call in the morning.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
How was your night? Yeah? Yeah, little too much? Yeah,
you're right, that's yeah, because they're not I don't believe
that they're they're doing that. Yeah all right.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
So yeah, what's a what's a red flag that should
send somebody running?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Too many baby mamas?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah? Okay, yeah, okay, what's what's too many? Like?
Speaker 3 (16:56):
If you have like one baby mama, like one child,
dispressed in one child?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
What makes me special? I'll say three, because people get
divorced and married you can and have kids. If it's two,
I get that you you were married, you had kids,
you got divorced, and you have more kids. I get that,
but when you add the third and a fourth and yeah, no, I'm.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Too many. Yes, two baby mamas, right, yes, okay, there's
too many. Depends on the situation.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It depends on the situation.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
So like one, okay, you couldn't make that work, and
then you're on the next one.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
You couldn't make that work. No, I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that they're divorced. It could still be
two baby mamas without a second divorce. They could still
be married and have children, so that it's still two
baby mamas in that rotation.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Okay, so you're saying, you're saying that's an indication.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
That there's a problem that he can't make it. Yeah,
he can't make it work.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Well, what if Well, I guess it could be that
he can't make it or he's just bad at selecting.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, that mean is definitely not going to work. Well,
maybe he was trying to make it work and she
cheated on him.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right, So it could be like if you if you
come to the guy didn't and you was he was
bad at selecting, but now he's selecting you.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Still I don't.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Care worth the risk, yes, because that means you cannot.
I kindot feel like, okay, yeah, I'm the best and
I'm gonna keep him, and I don't want to keep you.
Already you have two dramas already, so I can I
can't do it.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I could tell you as a guy, a guy will
have that's a red flag too, because it's not so
much the the person, it's the now I have to
deal with the baby daddy.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah, two different yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, two different ones. One is one is gonna be
difficult enough, but then you got two, and then you
you might say, well, okay, well you got two or
three baby daddies, and you know, you just make bad decisions,
you know, especially when it comes like, all right, so
this guy's in jail, this guy's those are the things
that really matter.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
So and also.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Its so if Also it's still the same with marriage.
I feel like you got married, you got divorced from
this person that married this person and got divorce.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
It's the same thing.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
My uncle be married five times.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You gotta look at yourself and be like, I'm the
wrong person in this equation. Yeah, they shouldn't even give
him a license. Yeah, that's multi marriages. Yeah, that would
be so many.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
I think you're spending habits.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Habits Okay, Like so if a person spends what frivolously
or it doesn't spend enough.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Too stingy, Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Can but yeah, that could be that could be changed
because that's a conditional. It's not it's not seriously.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Giver giving.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
So I'm gonna give you an example of the bad
side and the good side. So you have somebody who
in this household that counts the toilet.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Sheets, Yeah, toilet paper. We're not going would you do that?
Like people out there?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah? People or people that to say, that's what you
could tell them, like really really stingy that they they'll
keep the air conditioning on sixty five because they don't
want to pay.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I'm not a singure person, so I can't work.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, so yeah, or rent out the paper towels and
you can you know again the paper plate. Yeah, you know,
extreme cheap skates that just cannot work. I'm with you
on that one. Now.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Now it might be somebody who just just fruggle with
themselves or just or or saving for a certain thing,
or have goals.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
If you say this is my goal, and this is
why I'm being tight with my money. Then I might
I might say that, you know, I want to pay
for my house for cash. I don't want to get along.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
So yeah, but it depends on what you're If you're
not doing this stuff you're supposed to do, I don't
care what you're.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
About to do.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I mean the stuff you're supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
If you're not doing the stuff that you should do,
like important things like if you're not dressing nice and.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Well, they might not feel like is important. Clearly sho. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Like you should like we can't go out and you
look homeless. You know what I'm saying, No, can I work?
So the important stuff you can say. I'm not saying
break the bank or whatever. Save some don't. I don't
want to. I don't want someone that spends too much
either on stupid things. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
But let's let's be able to go out on the date.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Don't say, hey, let's eat in, let's eat in all
the time four hours, seven days. Become bifold because you
don't want to spend.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Okay, so give you give an example of that. So
now instead of going out, you don't really drink, but
instead of going out.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
What do you mean, really, I don't drink. You can
drink really whatever.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You you've had a taste it before, Yeah, but I
don't drink, Okay, so you don't know that's really So
you go out to a restaurant, like say you want
to go you want to you're going out because you
want a certain meal, and you go down hand and
it's going to be expensive, and then you gotta you
want to drink, right, and then you gotta worry about driving,
you gotta worry about ubers, you gotta worry about the atmosphere. Right.
(22:09):
So you might say, well, you know, that's a lot
of money you're thrown out there, and you gotta worry
about this, this and that.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
If you think about that, about being stingy, because it's
not more it's not always about the money.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
It's about the being practical and also about the safety
and being safe. Right, So you decide to say, well,
we can do that, we can do the same thing.
I'm still you're still paying for the food and you're
paying for the drinks.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Red flag red flag alart.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
That might that might be going out is also is
different from the atmosphere being in the house. You know
what I'm saying going out, that I got to dress up,
which is important to.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Why Why do you think you can't dress up in
the house?
Speaker 3 (22:48):
No dresses up in this That's what he keeps telling me.
Nobody dresses up in the house. What am I going
to dress up two seconds to go clean the dishes.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
That's what keeps saying no, because you're the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
That's what he keeps telling me.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Like every time I talk about dressing up, he says,
you can always dress up in the house. I say,
if I say I want to, I don't want to.
I don't want to take her stay home job or
whatever whatever job, because I don't get to dress up
and go out like you can dress up.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
In a kind of mistake. Really exactly, she doesn't. I'm
telling you, like, you just can't.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
What's preventing you from dressing up at home?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Nobody is doing that. I'm not putting on a beat
face and high heels shoes my bedroom, get the table.
Yeah no, I'm not that. Like nobody. You don't even
dress up in your own house.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
So what about But it's different. You like to dress up, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
But then it's just gonna make me sad. Yeah, it's
gonna be depressing for me. Like dressing up. The old
point is to take to be outside there just make
myself feel good, you know. And the why do I
want to dress up in the house?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
The thing. The thing is you can't judge it by
it just because.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You don't even dress up when you're going out. Depends
dressing up in the house I do.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
It depends on what I'm doing. If I'm not dressing
up to go to or costco or see or whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Okay, I'm gonna need for you to dress up to
go to dress dress up just there's there's a level
to the dress up.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
You know that there's levels this dress up that he
puts on.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Stupid.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
It depends whatever zeper thing that I hate so much
that I'm gonna trash.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It depends. It depends what you think. Dress up is
just dress up you if you if you're going out
all right, for example, for example, all right, if I say,
all right, we're going downtown, We're going to this place.
It was a nice place down there. We go downtown
and we're gonna you know, it's an atmosphere and you
you're gonna have a good meal drinking. Then you dress up.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
He's had to wear I'm not dog dog walking clothes.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm not going to I'm not going to the freaking
tackle bell or uh regular place. And I'm I'm I'm
over dressed.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Not over dressed.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Shirt.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
No, that's not dressing up. Also, no dress Like I said, it's.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
So dressing up also has to do with like put
on a nice T shirt whatever. But then it's not
about him not putting on the nice T shirts or whatever.
It's the thing he puts on top of it.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, she's talking about my my, my fleece whatever. Ye
doesn't have a hood. Yeah it's a jacket I hate
that I wear when I walk the dogs.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, you walk the dogs, but you also go out
like that.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Sometimes sometimes it's just even you just don't doesn't just care.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I'm just saying. I'm not saying.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I'm just saying, you just don't care about dressing up.
So we cannot be We cannot have this conversation anyway
because your school is different.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Different. So he tells me, you're saying.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Dress up in the house, dressing up in your house.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
No no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
You're not dressing up in your house exactly.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
You're you're falling away from what we're talking about. So
you just because the person we're talking about, because you're
going on a date. Yeah, just because the person is stinky,
because you want to go out and dress up. There's
times when you do go out and dress up, doesn't
mean that the person you have to do it like
every time.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
That's what I'm not saying.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Every time I said, if you can arguing, if that's
what you said, you said, oh well the person can
think about Okay, it's stressful.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
To go take it.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Sometimes you do want to something.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Because sometimes not all the time, all the time and
all the time you want.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
To be in and and and kill me already.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I didn't say all the time. I don't even do
that all the time. It depends.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
You see people you people watch whatever, do whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's because you want to be watched.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
No except people watch. I just look at me, I said.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
That's what it is.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I am not you know, I'm not whatever. That's creepy.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Like to be watching watch.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
So being stingy and excessive spinning are two red flegs
for me. Also, like I said, smoking and drinking alcohol excessively,
those are red flegs smoking generally or smoking excessively, smoking
in general, I'm not. I don't smoke, and I don't
want somebody who smokes. Smoking and enough both kind of things.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
The smoking is definitely for me, that's.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
That's a red Yeah. Yeah, but to be fair.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
That's not that's a deal breaker.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, it's a deal breaker.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
But to be fair, they say people that smoke or
whatever smoke like weed, it's medicinal.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
All them people ain't. It's ain't medicinal because they.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Can they can do edibles, and they got all yeah,
they like smoking weed, they like smoking. I'm not buying
the story. So smoking and then and then the thing
is if you if that's your thing, that's fine. But
you when you're smoking weed, you smell, right.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
That's the thing. For me. It's the smell. It's not
that you do it because I really don't care. I
smoked enough weed in my lifetime. I really don't care
about that. But the it's smell, the smell, I don't.
I don't like this. Man.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
And then you cannot the breath and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah, yeah, I can't.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
So that's it, all right. My habits deal breaker with
some habits. That's me for me, a big one. Wait
wait wait, wait wait wait, let me finish my habit.
That's harmless. But you just don't like.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
That's what I'm saying. Biting nails terrible.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Oh my god, you're already a red flag already, like you.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Just the whole red flag over there. Just sit down
and sit over there. Oh yeah, biting nails. It's definitely.
I'm trying to think of what harmeless putting.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
You know, this might not this might not feel some
type of way people, but for me, I cannot. It
just kind of does something to me mentally. I know
we live in the same house, you know, but I
don't want to watch my mand go into the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Some people do can close that door. Some people don't
feel like it's anything, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
They don't feel like women is like that for me.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
No, for me, no, I don't.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
It kind of reduces how I feel about you, kind
of reduces what I think about you, Like I feel
all this masculinity that I'm looking at and you it
just kind of just goes down.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Because he's masculine and once you take a.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Dumb nose, you're taking a dumb poop.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, you're no longer.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Met because yeah, I don't want to watch you. Yes,
it's some people don't care, you know what I'm saying.
They don't care in the bathroom money, in the bathroom together.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yeah, honey, honey, can you pass me? No, I don't
want to think about it that you're doing that. If
I use, I just don't want to look at Yeah.
If I if I have to use the bathroom, I
lock the doors.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I just want to be.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I don't want you to even know think about that,
because that's how I feel like be for you as well.
You know what I'm saying. It's like a private thing.
You know, people don't care. They just don't care enough
for me to you. Yes, so you know that that
is a harmless but it's.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I think I think it's more than just harmless because
you still we had to talk about this before. You
still are you should have some level of privacy.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, yes, period period.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
You know, so some level of privacy and people don't care.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
I cannot share to brushes, so people some people don't
care about stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I'm telling you, And people saying you kiss them, though,
I'm like, I don't care. I don't, I don't Some
people don't care about stuff like this is my own mouth.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I have something to admit. I use both your too.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
You don't have you don't have access to my tooth brush.
So yeah, stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Some people don't care, or some men don't care to
do that.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
With that, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I don't know anybody who.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I'm telling you people, Yes, they do the fresh. Yes,
I'm telling you, like on vacations. And then you're like, okay,
I left my too brush at home.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Can I use your No, you can't go down to
the lobby and get telling you nope, can never work.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
No, you said you better use the stick.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah I'm not. I'm telling other than my bamboo, whatever
it is. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I don't care, not mine, like so those are the
things that I like, their hamlets, but no, they're just
for me.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, I don't want to know snore. He can't. He
can't help.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Because I cannot sleep because I have to wake you
like a thousand times, like please, can you adjust? I
just I just, I just I just so there's times
I can understand, like once in a while when you're tired, yes,
or you know what.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
These are red flag? It's red flag for me, but
you but you, So you get to that that point,
like there's a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Are you sleeping with somebody? Is that what you're saying
before you sleep with somebody? But well, it's also a
red flag. Okay, it's a red flag.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
If I have sex with you one time and you're
snoring the next day, I'm done. She's like about I
know they can't help it, you know what I'm saying.
But I'm not going to judge you based on that.
But if it's like every day I cannot sleep, like
like whatever comes on, Like I'm a very light sleeper,
So it's going to make you difficult, difficult for me
to actually catch some sleep if you keep going to
(32:30):
do that. Only if we're going to stay in separate rooms.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Okay with that too. So what are your quirkies? Because
you didn't say any.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Smoking is a deal break, so I don't even say
that's a that's a I don't I don't know of
any small things.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
How about chewing using your hair?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
All right? So fortunately you have so fortunately I have
never had to you know, as far as on the
date or anything like that. I never had to deal
with that. I've never met a woman who who did that.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
That that will bother me, but you know it would,
but it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be it wouldn't be
a deal break or anything like that. You just you know,
that's like, how can you deal that?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Because I see that after a while on your last telling.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
But I can, I can get past it. I can say,
you know, you're not gonna find You're not gonna find
a perfect person. So that's that's what said. I would say,
you know, it could be worse, you know, like you
know she gotta go to the bathroom and you know
you just had to walk in and she got a
needle stick it out of arm.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah that's a problem.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Right So for me, drug.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Use, Yeah, that's not a quirky hunt. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
What they say is harmless, but I'm saying that. Some
people say it's harmless, you know, but I to me,
it's not. It's not something I can't get past that.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
It is not harmless or any type of addictions though, yes, well.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I won't say any addiction you can have. I'm addicted
to sugar.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
And or used to be and and porn.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
No, I'm not addicted porn, but I didn't say that.
You said you said I like porn, but you know
I'm not addicted. So I was looking at this commercial
and it said for a d h D. It was
that you have.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
He does, right, I think so.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
So the guy says, you know, those are the certain
things that that indicate that you have ADHD. And he's
part of He said, you.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Have eight other six.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
If you you know, watch porn addicted to porn. So
it's not really an addiction itself, it's just because of ADHD.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
That Why is it porn? What the news?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
No, but it's because it might be you ain't gonna
get the same effect watching the news, So I don't
know if it's because you're it's firing off your.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
That oto and your brain reacts to that, and that's
that gives you that little high. Same thing with like
the gambling and the drug use, it all hits that
party and video games. Yeah, so that's what.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, but yeah, I don't have too many not to me,
hm hmmm. I have to come back on that. But
so you had this date and like, all right, so
how do you politely tell somebody that you're not interested
after the date. How would you politely.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Just give excuses?
Speaker 1 (35:44):
That's kind that could come back to bite you though.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Well, yes, I don't really like I'm not a direct person.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
You do not talk to somebody nicely.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
No, I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, so how would you do it?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
That's what I'm saying. Just make excuse.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I'm busy today, I cannot make it today, I cannot
do this tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Oh yeah, all right, my message ten ten times, you're
going to be like, I'm.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Not gonna date. Oh, you may say it telling them. Yeah,
you should be able to You should be able to
get the message. Yeah. Sometimes sometimes they don't. I don't know.
That's I think that would be hard for me too.
But you would have to just be like, what cycle,
I had a really good time at dinner, but I
think I'm moving in another direction. Oh that that's bad
(36:29):
away from me. I wouldn't say away with you, but
I'm moving in another direction. Okay, I can go with you.
I can go with you.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I can go with you in the next Direct's what
he say. We can move together in the next direction.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
So for me, but I would do with something easy.
I'm like, you know, it's.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Easy for guys like he cannot. He cannot do that
because a lot of people frustrate him. He puts himself
into all these situations where and then they keep calling
him constantly. He says, don't call me, and then they
keep calling constantly. Then he gets mad and you can't
tell them or block them off, you know what I'm saying,
And he puts himself in the situations I.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Don't like exactly. Yes, that's to me, that's kind of rude.
Especially you don't tell them that you're gonna block them
like they just found find out. So what I would
if I had to do it, I would be like,
you know, I don't think this is going to work.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I told that, I have ever told you want that exactly,
so you cannot. So that means you can, I'm saying,
I'm like, how about people? That boy?
Speaker 3 (37:31):
How about people? So there was this girl that loved him.
I'm putting his business out.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
There that a lot.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I liked him a lot, She was quick, great, and
she just sends him random messages, pumped off point, different messages,
off point, off point, off point. He could I'm like,
why are you putting up with stuff like that? Like
why because she she made up all these scenarios. I'm like,
are you sure? You guys never had anything before. It's
(37:59):
like ever, I'm like, are you sure? Because this president
is so possessive and so jealous and so scary everything.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
You know what I'm saying. And I'm like, to this day,
you did not block this person. You didn't tell her off, because.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I'm gonna tell you why. Because the person I like
the I like the as a person.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
He give her You just can't give her green you know,
he gave her green flax and then he saw the
ohs green flags or whatever.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, you didn't give a red flags like okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
So you can tell when you get to a certain
point spending.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Time together and stuff like that. Yeah whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
But I wouldn't say so. Let me put it this way.
What I did was, you know, but the person was
a nice person. I thought it was a nice person.
I just didn't I want to be in that space
with the person. So what I started doing when it
when the conversations would go to things like that, I
would just say something like uh, ignorant, Like I would
(38:58):
say something that would normally turn somebody off, you know,
and that usually works to kind of like reset. So
you know, it might be like give me a snare
or something that somebody.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Would say, hey, why don't you come over tonight?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
I would say, oh, you say nothing? Could I bring
my toy bag?
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Or he would say he would you just deflects, and
I think he'll just ask her about I think you
mostly always say talk about the other guy.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Just you say something like can I bring my toy bag?
And she said yes? And then what you like?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Then you start She's right on that. I would. I would.
I would mention the other guy. Yeah, I'll say, well
what about such and such?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
You okay?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
You know? All right? So that does, but I do
like for other people that I don't want to go
down that road. I would say something that was inappropriate,
like really inappropriate.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Say the only thing about this cycle was you always
s and something appropriate. So it's a different day.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
But it depends on You're like, all right, So it
depends on your relationship. So I've known you guys for
a long time, so I could say something inappropriate and
you're you know, it's kind.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Of you just and just look at my eyes.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
But some other people when you say something inappropriated, be like,
oh my god, I don't call me no more.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'll about people that d G though, right, because there's
some people out there to be like good with that.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Well, then then then I have to I have to
read just because I've been in that situation where they
don't care.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah, they don't care. It's hard. It's hard because you
really don't want to hurt somebody's feelings, but you really
need to back out of it. I have this funny
story about him that keeps Listen, you sit there and
you take because you're always talking.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
About him trying to He was trying. So he talks
to all these people, right, and then one day he got.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Scared, scared, let me talk.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
He got scared that one so does this young girl
he's talked to in Africa. And then he goes care
that she was going to come over, she's going to
get a visa. Was looking like, oh my god, this
get to really actually get to the visa to come
stay here with me, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
And then he was like, oh my god, what is it.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
What's it going to do?
Speaker 3 (41:16):
It doesn't know that that's what you get. You know
what Unfortunately she didn't get the visa. I was so
sad because it should have been able to see how.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, let me tell it. Let me tell you the
real story. Let me tell the real story. Like all right,
so I do I do?
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I do?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Say, you know, hey, you ever get here?
Speaker 2 (41:34):
That's what he doesn't need it.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
You know, I didn't mean minutes and no, no, no, no,
I do mean it. I just don't think it's ever gonna.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Happen, so that you don't mean, but I do mean it.
But if you get it done, that is never going
to happen. What is that?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
No, I just think it's you know, it's like.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
You know, it's like, oh well they're never going to
get a visa.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
So just saying if you to, you know, get over
that hill, that mountain or whatever, but you can no,
because this is the this is the part you missed.
So in between that time, the person started really working
my nerves, really working my nerves, and I was like,
I was like so, I was like so even then
(42:15):
my whole thing was like, all right, what am I
gonna do?
Speaker 2 (42:17):
And she actually shows up no.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Because well what the thing was all I have a
have a brother.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Was trying to and I'm like, no's you're gonna know.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
But so the thing was, the thing was, and I
I talked to her about that. It's like, you know,
I go, brother, he might you know, he'll need some help,
you know this and that whateverever.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
So she's here for you.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
So no, she's she is here for you, but whatever.
So so the point was I was I was gonna
pass them off with him. But then but even even
with that, it was like that that in between times
like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
So yeah, they worked out.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Oh god, Okay, let's wrap because we have just lost me.
This train is off the track, all right.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Last last time we're talking about is do you think
it's chivalry dead, outdated or evolving?
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Oh? It's evolving.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
You think it's evolving.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
I think it depends on the generation. Okay, I do.
I think it depends on the generation.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
The older generation is still still but the younger generation
is not. Is it evolved into what? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Not? One thing like men hold the door for older
You know, the men in my generation will hold the
door for you. The men in this generation be like
looking at you like you're crazy if you're standing there
waiting for him to open.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
Some women also think that you're you're what's like if
you're feminist. The feminists also so it's crazy, like it's
kind of crazy, but like why you're opening the door,
So don't open the door.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
We have the equal rights.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
So I do think this is the age of confusion, yes,
because you know, men don't know how to act, women
don't know how to act, you know. And then sometimes
you know, back in the older generation, everything was defined,
you know, that is true, you know, or you might
say those little tasks like like I said, my love
(44:23):
language was acts of service, right, so a person made like, well,
I'm not doing that, where back in the day they
would do it, you know, when I talked about like
you're at a picnic or whatever or or barbecue and
you're going to get somebody's food, right because you know whatever.
So now men just everybody's confused.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Nobody because so every these days, everybody's just on their
own because they don't want to offend the next person
because you don't know what works for them or what
it is.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Now you can't.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
You might offer to open the door for a lady,
I should like you think I kind of opened my own.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Door or see better than me. Blah blah blah blah blah.
You know what.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Yeah, so stuff like that happens these days. So well,
I hate that that.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
I've seen guys hold the door for somebody and they
won't say thank you. They just walk right through and
they're like rude.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
So yeah, so these days it's just like craziness.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Funny. My son is old school when it comes to that.
He knows and even because that's what you taught him, right,
So like she knows that she's supposed to be the inside.
You know when I walk on the street, right, Well,
I didn't learn that. You learned that.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
Yeah, that's I didn't learn that initially until you you
have to enforce.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
It, right. But you know I'm quick to say, you know,
to you, I'll say, stop trying to.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
That's what I'm saying. So, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It wasn't a thing for me. I didn't think nothing
of it before, or maybe because I never used to
walk on the street.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
That's right, she was, she was carried.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
You know what, what is wrong with you?
Speaker 1 (45:53):
But you don't think it's outdated though.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Like I said, I think it depends on the generation.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
You still want the chivalry.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Yeah, how about you, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Sometimes you don't care, but you're a younger generation.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So yeah, it's like you said some things like if
if it's an ordinary day, I don't I don't care.
If my husband opened the door the car door for
me and that dressed up we're going out, I want
you to open a car situation. Yeah, situation for me.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
I'm like, don't be extra the time. It isn't to
open this door. It will be nice, but we just
gotten going. Let's get going, Like okay, I'm going to
open my door.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Like yeah, so some situation.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
So yeah, it depends on what it is not for
me opening the door is like too extra for me,
but maybe something else like nice.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
I don't know. I like she thinks that he should
pay for the first day yea, yeah, I'm not paying
for that exactly.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
So yeah, okay, So I think I'm more you said,
I'm more old school when it comes to stuff like that,
especially when it's situational.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Even before I have to know you have.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Let me, I said, situational all you haven't You haven't
I always say, always a matter of fact, I always remind.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
You that you should open the door. You want to
open the door?
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Which door, like if we're going in some place.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
No, I'm taking your car door. No, you have no because.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
No, because if we were, if you were, if you were,
if you and I was going out and we were
dressed up in a certain way, we're going to you
know what, whatever, then you get.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
The whole right, right, I want you to open a car.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
But even in casual what I always say to you,
I always I got the door, you know, I would say,
stop trying to emasculate me when you walk in outside
and when you open the door, saying the door to
the car, the door because you because you fast you
go up there. I mean, you know I don't. I
don't need you to open the door. You didn't just
(47:50):
say that, right, And and I'll even I will even
help you all into the car.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Yeah, right, we can live without that. You know. One
of the reasons why a lot of times I will
check my bag in the airport is because I can't
reach the overhead and a lot of people will not
help you. A lot of men won't come to help
you get that. You just be holding up traffic. You can't,
you know, And some guys it really is. It really
(48:21):
is sad to be sure. So like a lot of
times I won't do a carry on because people will
men will not come and help you put that thing up.
Or a tall woman I'll take her too.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
But in general, speaking of which, how about having to,
like on the bus, having to stand up for an
older person.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
I will stand up for older Yeah, I will do that. Yeah,
I will do that. Young kids don't, They don't. They
don't care, Like I paid my fare, you paid your fare.
You just yeah, But it was just one of them
things that we were taught. Pregnant woman or you know,
you stand up, yeah, you give them your seat.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Yeah, yeah, I think I think I follow most of those.
Maybe not always, like with open car door because it's
out of convenience, you know. But even then it's like
I'll pull up to like you've guys been with me,
I say, I'm gonna drop you off at the front
because it's raining, right, stuff like that. But I'm very nice. Yeah,
(49:17):
this has been a very interesting conversation, and.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
I'm glad that we have different generations because it's definitely
different now.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Yeah, it really is. So you guys, what do you
guys think? Leave us a comment? If you see it
on social media or on the website or whatever, leave
us a comment. What do you think has things changed? Etiquette?
The dating etiquette need to be revamped, you know.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
I don't know. It's a lot of things that need
to be revamped.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
So overall, do you think it's getting better or worse?
Speaker 2 (49:46):
I don't know because I'm not dating, you know, Okay, okay,
what about you. I'm gonna say worse though, because I hear,
like you said, I hear my girls talk about dating,
and my son said he just he ain't doing it.
He's like, like, I'm just out. I'm Outtim, I don't.
I don't know. He's just like I think part of
(50:07):
that what killed it is a lot of the social
media things has killed him. Like you know, you see
those scenarios where she ordered five entrees and he's like,
I'm not putting up.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
I tell you, it's definitely difficult for guys. I'm pretty
sure it's difficult for women as well. But you know,
I guess you just have to find your your way.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
Yeah, yeah, some sort of way, because I don't think
anybody wants to be lonely or not have somebody or
something in your life. You know at the end of
the day.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
All right, men, step up your game.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Women, stop acting crazy. I shouldn't have said that I
would get attacked. I know I'm gonna get attacked.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
But yeah, you're gonna have a word of today for
this episode as well.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
Etiquette.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Etiquette. Okay, So last last episode was Digger, Go Digger.
This one's etiquette. Okay, we got you and you guys again.
You get those birds of the day in at the
end of the month because you can win a prize.
You can win a prize, and we're gonna do still
do comedy tickets, comedy show tickets, and it doesn't have
(51:11):
to be here, and our location could be in your location,
so you know, send it to w W I'm sorry,
send it to Hot Topics h O T t O
p i X podcast at gmail dot com. You can
send your information in there. And also if you want
to join our we call it the poll group or
(51:33):
the people who leave comments, whatever you can. If you
have What's app, you can go to four four three
eight six zero two seven one six hit us up
on what's app over there and you know, join the group.
We'll put you in.
Speaker 2 (51:47):
Read your comments online.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Yes on there have been some funny comments. All Right
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