Father's Day 2025: Giving Flowers to Dad

This Father’s Day, the Hot Topix Podcast team is honoring the dads, father figures, mentors, and men who’ve made a lasting impact in our lives. In this special tribute episode, we’re sharing personal stories, listener shoutouts, and heartfelt memories that celebrate the strength, love, and wisdom of fathers everywhere. Whether you're a dad, have a dad, or miss a dad, this episode is for you. Join us as we laugh, reflect, and give flowers to the men who deserve them most.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're listening to the Hot Topics podcast cycle Board one,
Lovely Lady, Lam Chop and Fabulous.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Let's get into it.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome everyone to another episode of Hot Topics Podcast. We're
here on a special Father's Day Sunday. Yes, so we're
gonna go out there and everybody's going to chip in
and send me a Father's Day present.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
You got your twenty five cents.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
So we're gonna talk about fathers and you know, we're
gonna give our fathers their flowers today and we're gonna
talk about how father's impacted our lives and how it
is to be a father, which you know about that. Yeah, so,
but I guess that'll be my part. So we have

(00:56):
our special co host today.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
We have.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Dmitri Ward Dimitrix Dimitrix.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
The Matrix Cinema. Yes, yes, I'm adjusting your mic.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
We're gonna change your name from Fablonious Feather to Felonious
Feather to Whispering Wilma.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
You couldn't give a windy or something you give from
you had to go way back in that old people named.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yes, oh and I did.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
I did a survey and we had some maybe one
or two comments about their fathers from social media, actually
from social media from I guess it's called considered social media.
What's that whatever? Okay, so we'll read it as well,
and if we have any guests that want to join in,
they'll come in. Hopefully they will come in with some noise.

(01:55):
I cant forgetting that to, you know, make sure they
come in muted. But we'll see anyway.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
So let's kick this off. Who hears the father thank
you me.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't
try that shade.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
I'm just saying I did good all hell me? Come on,
let's hear it. It's like Donald Trump on the round table.
Come on, felonious. Would you like to say something to
me today? No, lamb, would you like to say something?

Speaker 3 (02:25):
You are a good father. I will give you that
your kids love you, and since I met you, you were
always doing something with your children than you. I would
say that, so happy, I said, no, bloneous kiss the ring,
I said, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
All right, so just stop it. I'll be going reflections
on fatherhood.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
So we did some discussion questions, and you know, one
of the things is what does being the father mean
to you? Or what did it mean to your father?
So this question is for everyone.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Yeah, but then how what do you mean by what
did you? What did it mean to your father?

Speaker 1 (03:02):
You can speak for your father because you you know,
if you had a relationship with your father, what did
it how did it feel?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Did you? Was he? Uh? Did he love you? Guys?
He put a lot of attention into you? Did he?
You know? Oh?

Speaker 3 (03:14):
What kind of father was your father? Yeah? That's kind
of better because your father doesn't mean I'm a father.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Why you want to wear pants?

Speaker 3 (03:26):
I wear pants?

Speaker 2 (03:28):
You wear panties, not pants?

Speaker 3 (03:30):
What is wrong with you? Today?

Speaker 2 (03:32):
His Father's day?

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Oh, so you can say whatever you want.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Is that what you're saying.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
The matrix? Come on, get ahead and get.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Them have your father's day. Psychoh, good father's gravitate to
good people, that's right. So if you're a good father,
think great things gravitate around you, and.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Your kids will love you you forever. So you're a
good father. So thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
It was nice. And you know he was talking about
the great people. He's talking about us.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, so felonious, are you ready yet?

Speaker 4 (04:13):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (04:13):
My god? I said something nice to him today, you're
still hot? How change did something else?

Speaker 2 (04:19):
I don't remember it.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
I said something nice to you already today and then
you have to let me read it, and then he
had to switch it around. Antony, I'm.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Happy Father's Day. You are my life. Oh wow, you
I would be nothing, wow. And I'm glad that you're
in my life. If not, I would stop breathing today.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Wow, go for life support. For life support.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
All right.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
So I'm gonna tell you what a father means to me.
And this is in all honesty whatever. I remember when
I first became a father, that was like the best
day of my life. It was like the very best
day of my life. It took to the point where
I remember my son, my son is the oldest, and
I went out there and I opened all types of

(05:10):
bank accounts.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
I want to get him a good start.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Oh, you opened banking house for him for him? Yeah? Yes,
how did that work?

Speaker 1 (05:20):
But he got more money than I do, most of
them did so yeah. But I you know, I had
to memorized his Social Security number the whole nune. So
as a matter of fact, even I had stopped working
in like my little side business, my part time, I
was like I need to spend some time my son.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
I gotta be here. Da da da da.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
So it was it was a long time coming because
I had some you know, near misses in the past,
and you know, that was something that was important for me.
And it was like my opportunity to get to actually
do the things that I thought father should do and
the things that I didn't get from my father. So
you know, we do as parents, we try to get
our kids, you know, whatever.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
You didn't get.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah. Yeah, And as far as my father goes, we'll
say our father because if it for you guys who
don't know to meet, Trey and I are brothers, so.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
Two peas, I won't even say that because he is
so much different than you are.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yes, he does need to tune it down a little bit,
don't take that from We're actually similar to a lot
of ways that you guys just don't even know.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Okay, thank you for not letting us know. Yes, thank you.
I don't want to know.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
But yeah, our father was a little bit different because
he and I don't know if you knew, but he
didn't grow up with his father. His father passed, my
grand his his his father passed away when he was
an infant. Yeah, so he never really you know, knew
his father, but he had a father figure in his life,

(06:58):
which was his his paternal I'm sorry, his maternal grandfather
told him how to fish, you know, every cook, make wine,
you know, all that type of stuff. So if you
if you would have asked him today, you know, who
was the influence in your life? He would have said,
my grandfather was John Martin, you know, from Philly.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
You know.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
But yeah, but I think he liked being the father
because it was more or less of like more of
a feather in your cat, you know, I don't he
didn't really, I don't think he learned about the traditional father.
It's not what he saw. But you know, he tried
to do whatever he knew. You know, take us fishing

(07:39):
and crabbing, and you know, give us a little advice,
some funny advice even when we were older, which I
would not say.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
Today, some inappropriate that's another story for another day.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, But so since we'll start with you, because.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Because what so I have to tell you, Like to
this day, my father would say to me, you know,
you're you're my life, sweetheart. He calls me, sweetheart, You're
my life. Sweetheart, you know that is it? Like I'm
in the top of the game for him. But we didn't.
We weren't really close with me growing up, Like he

(08:26):
was in and out a lot with me growing up.
But we're better now, we're mellowed into our relationship and
it's pretty good. It's pretty good, And I can say
that he gave me some advice. At the time, I'll
be like, what is this old man talking about? But
now I look at him, like, Oh, that's what he
was talking about, and it makes sense now. But you know,

(08:49):
like he used to tell me little stuff like don't
let your husband bring any car in that house you
can't drive, Like, what are you talking about? That don't
even make sense. But if you got to get away
at any given moment, or if you got to drive
the car, and if you know, whatever is happening, and
you got to be the person to drive the car,
if you can't drive it, then y'all might be in trouble.

(09:10):
So in my head at the time, I was like,
what is he talking about? This doesn't even make any sense.
But as an adult, you're just like, oh, now you know. Now, no,
So he always would drop these little tidbits along the
way that didn't make sense, but as an adult it
makes all the sense in the world, you know, it
makes all the sense in the world. So he is
a very knowledgeable man. And the older he gets, the

(09:33):
more information I feel like I'm getting from him. And
I wish I had that going growing up, you know that, Yeah,
a little bit longer, so you know, I'm older, he's older.
So it's just like, I don't know how many years
we got left. Seventy five, that is a guess because
ever since he would talk about age, he's been thirty five.

(09:55):
And you know, at one point when I was forty,
I said, you can't be thirty five anymore. I'm forty down,
so you can't be thirty five. So I'm gonna say seventy.
I think it's seventy eight to be one hundred percent honest,
because I think him and my aunt are close to
the same age. So I'm say seventy eight somewhere in there.
And every time I asked him or look at try

(10:17):
to find a birth certificate, I can, so I really
don't know what the actual year is that he was born.
So yeah, I was just like Daddy was, and I
tried to find my birth certificate because sometimes they'll put
your the father's age on your birth certificate and it's
not on air. And I was like, how did they
get away with that? Like how did that? But you
know it was one hundred years ago, so they did

(10:37):
things differently.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Well that might have been one. They had a war
back in the Philippines.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
See just how to say that. He had to had
to so in my older age, I think he's making
up for the time we didn't spend when I was younger.
So and he never treated me like a girl. I
like that, like, you're not treating me, You're not. I'm
only for him. I'm the only Yeah, I'm the only

(11:03):
child that he's had. And you know, he would he
taught me how to shoot. He would take me to
the driving range. She was an Air Force pilot, so
we would see planes like do you what is that?
The blue Angels? He would take me to see the
blue angels. So I never felt like I was being
treated like a girl, which I liked, you know, because
sons get a lot of stuff that the girls don't get,

(11:25):
you know. I thought that was kind of neat, like
so happy Father's Day, pops. She ain't like I just
said that, right, Like what she literally just listed stuff
that they did together.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
No, I'm okay.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
I always you know, figured girls and guys daughters got
the same thing.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Did you give your your son and daughter? You treated
them the same m m mm hmm. I guarantee you
probably didn't threaten like a girlfriend of Junior's.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
You know what, any kind of like any kind of
advice that you get there you got back in the day.
It always come knowledgeable and more of a better understanding
once you get older. Yeah, that's what anybody I noticed
that about it?

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, that is true, Like, yeah, some of the stuff
you've been saying like that don't make a better sense, like,
but now it does. You're right, You're right.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
What about you?

Speaker 3 (12:23):
You who please identify the person you're speaking to.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
The other male that voices about to pop up on here, Dmitri.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
So, my father, our father, who art stop it. He
gave me a lot of knowledge, but it was his
his way of knowledge, knowledgeable things to give your son,
and but I took it in. You know a lot

(12:55):
of stuff, like I said, you know, I realize now
what he was talking about kind of like you. So,
but he also gave me like tips on don't bump
certain curves that you don't have to bump, you know
what I.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Mean, Like, explain that because I'm thinking, like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Bumping female Like he was telling me, you know, keep
a keep a good job, right, don't don't go going
through the situation where you jumping from job to job.
You know, don't create unless you leave one small job
to go get a bigger job.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
You know. And uh, of course women.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Some of his vice women, Yeah, we want to talk
about that. What's the best advice? Later after Colonius tells
her glorious.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
Story where you finished the maitre.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Did your father tell you about a birdie jumping?

Speaker 3 (13:57):
My father? I hate you? I swear, what is wrong
with you? I'm sorry. Hate it is a strong word.
I take that back. He'll get on my nerves.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
He's given me, uh, his his way of his knowledge
and you know, the knowledge from a father to a son,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Ain't no father perfect, you know, but he's he's.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Giving me like man, the man he's told me, he's
always One of the big things he said was he
want all his kids to be together.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
And that was one of the things that stuck with me.
You know so, but yeah, he's he's he's done his
his deeds.

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Okay, that was very polite. He's done his deeds.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Well in this in this episode, we can lay everything online,
right whatever, All right, tell us about Timothy.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Timothy is that his real name? Or are you being
because you know how name? I might everything? So now okay,
the whole world has to know as well. Okay, okay, gotcha.
You never know with him sometimes because yeah, it's capable
of making stuff up and just give me some random
father name. But this is right, it's correct. Well, for me,

(15:17):
I grew up in an African home, so your parents
are more like I think until we got older that
we have like a real relationship with parents, because it
was more like people you feared kind of. So for me,
I'm the only girl in my family, my for my

(15:38):
for both parents, I'm the only girl. So and girls
tend to be closer to their or b that is favorite.
So he was, Yeah, I was dad's favorite. I'm still
dad's favorite. But but it was just like from far,
you know, giving me stuff that I needed, money, clothes

(15:59):
my daddy gets to He lived in London, so he
used to send clothes to me. Send money, and he'd
be like, all this money I'm giving you is because
so that no man can lie to you. And then
you think money is important because it's not, you know,
So if your father can give you learn that lessons,
if your father can give you this so nobody can

(16:20):
come and lie to you, I'll be like, Okay, I'm
going to give you this. And so yes, that was
a good one from him. And he paid my school
fees and did everything, but he never he didn't live
with us, so I didn't really have like, so I
can't really tell you stories about my dad.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
So your father, from this perspective, more or less, he
looked at he's going to be a provider, make sure
that you have.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
Yes, you know, yes everything. Yes, So that was yes.
So that was the relationship we had until I got
I had kids and all of that. So he also
got older. He's going to be seventy six in the
couple in a couple of weeks now, so I'm all
he has right now the boys. But then of course

(17:08):
you tend to look towards your daughter and then we
we talk more. My dad is like this typical African
man that he will not call you because it's your
right to call him. Really, yeah, he's your right, Like
he's an old man, so you have to, yeah, sorry

(17:29):
to call him, like he's your father, he's old. He's okay.
If you don't hear from me, you have to call me.
You have to. You know what I'm saying, Like we're busy,
but he doesn't really get that concept, like, okay, people
get my kids that busy. They could be busy, blah
blah blah. No, but you have to call him. You
have to. If I call my dad now and he
misses my call, he expects me to call back, so

(17:51):
he won't return your car. If he's like, oh yeah,
she called no, and then he'll tell you maybe when
you get mad, and then you eventually call him. But okay,
because you old me, call you be like, uh, yeah
you called me the other day. You didn't call me back.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
What's his nickname for you?

Speaker 3 (18:09):
I don't have a nickname. Really, no, we don't do
stuff like that. So but then things have evolved, things
have gotten better. Fathers have changed. But I think it
depends on personality. My daddy. I wouldn't say he's just.
I wouldn't say he's strict, strict but he's not. He
wasn't that kind of father way traditional yes, where you

(18:29):
want to who teaches how to ride a bike or who?
You know what I'm saying. No, he was more of
my kids have to go to good schools, do this,
do this, do what you need to do to make
them comfortable. That's the kind of father it was. But
now that he's older, we kind of just we talk
about stuff. He told me about women and stuff, like

(18:53):
everything in his life. Like we talk about everything, you know,
So he tells me everything going on with him. So
it's kind of our relationship has evolved. So he keeps
me in the look of everything going happening with him.
He called me like a couple of days ago, and
I'm because, like, I've not heard from you in a while,
and it was weird, and I'm like, oh my god,

(19:15):
it's a miracle. So yeah, so we so, and he's
my only surviving parent now, the only client that I
have right now. So yeah, help me too. He's like
my everything right now. Happy fathers. They even though you
should not see this, don't don't.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
We're going to make sure we get you this. Yeah,
so let me ask you something. No, go back to
lamb Chap because you've mentioned what he the lesson he
gave you, is that one of the most important lessons
that he gave.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
You, or you have any others.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
I think the most important lesson he gave me was
a couple learn about your heritage because he was very
he is very big on African American history. So learn
about your heritage. And he taught me a lot of
things about that, and be independent, you know, learn for yourself,
question things, and like you said, you know, he provided

(20:06):
things for me so I wouldn't have to look for
it from somebody else, so you know, and you know,
he taught me how to be an independent woman. And
I also looked at his relationship with his wife. That
was a long, loving, kind relationship, and that was a
good way to pick a husband.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
I think your father was black.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
My father is black. And I figured out. I don't
know why this took me, like sixty years to figure
this out. He was nineteen when he had me. I'm
sixty one, So he's gonna be eighty in a few days.
Like why did that take me one hundred years to
figure that out? So he's gonna be eighty. On the
seventeenth was coming up. Yeah, okay, yep, that's a that's
a miles he was They say something sideways.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
No said he was an air Force I've never said that.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
You never mentioned that.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
Really, he had a lot of job. He's an air
Force pilot, he's a firefighter, and he was like, yeah,
I'm gonna do this job long because everything running out
of that building and were running in. He's like the
ranch approaches. Everything is coming out and we're going in.
So he did that for a little while. And he
also worked for the city for a little while. So
he was a man of many talents. He is a

(21:16):
man of any talents.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
So yeah, with Colonnious, what was the most important lesson
you've learned from your father. I don't say the money thing.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
Everybody likes money. Yeah, it's he right now. He's closer
to God, so it's like just God first, and everything
you do for God first, nothing else. Just God, God, God, God.
And to remind me that whatever a good thing happens
to me in life, whatever good luck I have or

(21:46):
whatever good happens to me is his good luck. My
dad's he passed it on to you. It's because of
him you have good life. Exactly so yeah, because I
can't remind stunt remind us of that. That is too cute.
So yeah, so just be prayerful, hold on to God.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
That's okay. So that's a good that's a good lesson.
So me treat.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
I wish, all I wish.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
That's why we can't do video.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
This is exactly why we can't do video.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
What's what's an important You mentioned something earlier, you know,
but what's what what stands out as the say, the
most important lesson you learn from your father?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Use condoms all h That was one of.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
He was so good at it.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
The six kids.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
This is not a lot.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
One of the most important things that.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
To stand out that my father taught, you know, advice
that he gave me was like I said, you know,
keep keep a good job.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
You know.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
That was one of the big things. He kept drilling,
you know, drilling in me is like if you once
you get a hold and never be h never be satisfied,
even if it is a good job. Always he kept
telling me, you know, because he was a mailman and
he was saying, don't get don't always stay content, you know,

(23:41):
just always go for hire higher, you know, higher jobs
or whatever.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
Did you take the advice, though, Did you take the advice?

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, I started selling paydays, so I was pretty content
with that too. Mess But but yeah, no, I took
his advice. I took his advice in the end because
I was stubborn, sticking with one hotel job. You know,
for a long time. I had people who had to

(24:12):
drag me out of that. But I took his advice
at the sort of towards you know, later.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Later years, because it takes us a while to really
figure out that they knew what they were talking about.
So you into your adulthood to be like, oh, yeah,
they were right. You know. How about you, psycho? Yeah,
you know you next, don't even try to get slip away.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
We my father and I, we we talked a lot,
and we talked about crazy stuff like aliens, you know,
from aliens, and talked about why a cost the greens
go up?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Is that something that you would have a full on
conversation about.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yes, I've seen these two have the craziest conversations.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Thing was be a man. That's what his thing was.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
Now did he define what that meant or would just
like stand up be a man?

Speaker 1 (25:07):
He said, be a man? You know, And I guess
I was supposed to know, you know, being but you know,
be a man.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
It was.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
He also, you know, he would drop little.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Dimes here and there.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
He was like, oh, you know, wayt ch'a put on
Puerto Ricans carry switch bleads.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
I can't believe you repeating that.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
It was little things that he used to say, you know,
or that's him or you know, And I told you
that the biggest advice he gave me was the you know,
if you want something, if you you want that girl
over there, you look at straight in the eyes.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Probably should have did a trigger wanted on this show.
I probably shouldn't have.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
So what I got that is just be direct? Is
that better?

Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Direct?

Speaker 3 (25:58):
You've cleaned that up.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
Well, but that that was him.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
If he said something else, I won't believe it. So
that's about his originals. You get from my father.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
So was that the best advice he gave you? That's
the only one he remembers because it suits his ways,
you know. So yeah, I gotcha.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
Well, you know what I most of the stuff that
I got from him, it was little like little bit
things here and there, especially when it came to cooking.
He would tell you, you know, certain things when it
comes to cooking, and you know, do this, do that,
And you know he was he would tell you things
that happened in the past, or why like he says, well,

(26:52):
why he never took me with him to go hunting
or or you know whatever. He told me this, you know,
he said, because he was always afraid I was gonna
let the animals out.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
Because that's what Well, because you cared so much fun.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Yeah, I went because you would. You would, you would,
you would scare him away, you would let him let
you would let him go. I know, all right, but
you know these things, this is things I learned as
an adult. You know, they don't like you know, he
gets up especially you know, he got his little his
little pint with him. You know, when everything starts, he

(27:31):
gets honest and he says.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Everything I said drunk people and leggings.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
That my father was.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Really he's a really funny guy, like really funny. I
can go like thousands of stories of funny things. And
like I said, once he if he start you know,
hitting the bottom, it was like it was amped up.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Was he the one that made the one? Yes? Okay, okay, yes,
So would we all agree that fathers are under celebrated,
under appreciated. Because today, if I'm sure, when you guys
are going to get the food, was it packed? No,

(28:19):
that's not so.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
When we went to go get food earlier, it.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Was a restaurant, didn't like like Mother's Day where the
radios everybody start talking about Mother's Day from like forever.
You don't hear anything about Father's Day. Why do we
think this is so well.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna tay this.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Going back to what you and I was talking about
earlier in the same note, she said, well, are you
going to make a reservations? And I gave her a
look like reservations. Nobody makes reservations on Father's Day because
you just walk right in. And it's so funny because
when I used to do work in a restaurant, you
know Mother's Day, I mean that was takeing my you know,
my wife or my mother whoever out you know, it's packed.

(29:02):
You gotta you know I had one time I had
a bribe the closest to get up a little bit earlier.
But you know, then you go on Father's Day, you like,
you walk right in and get your So I mean,
that's how it is. Because I think a lot of
times people expect fathers to be, you know, that person
you just depend on if you can. But I tell
you the one thing we'll talk about a little bit.

(29:23):
I think about the differences on how people see fathers
and mothers. You know, mothers are are everything you know,
so and it's.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Treated that way.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
You know, one you know who your mom is. You
might know who your dad is, you know, but mothers,
mothers are nurturers and not saying the dad Dan's can.
I think I'm a nurture for my kids too, But
I think that's when that nurturing actually gets you more
motivated to do things to protect and to you know,

(29:54):
serve get it, protect us.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
I was trying to let it go.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
I'm really yeah, but yeah, dads are not really valued
as much as women because in our society, I think
may have society, they're they're they're treated differently.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
I'm gonna say, not that, not that that.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
You know how you have two kids and you have
the one kid that's really really smart and you have
the one kid that's very very athletic, you treat them
differently because you value them for different things. So let's
say in your culture, the father is supposed to be
that strong man that you know that keeps everything going,
the provider, that the protector is that whatever. Whereas the
wife or the mothers is something different. You still value
them the same, you know, but it's just.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Different but different things.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Yeah, but here.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
In our society where we have a lot of households,
broken households and absentee fathers and tons of single mothers
and stuff like that. You know, overall, that's why I
think that we don't put as much value into that.

Speaker 3 (30:59):
So what I mean, for what you said, I'll take
you back there. So for us as well. I saw this.
My dad shared something with me. It was this lady
saying like why why do people why don't they appreciate
their fathers as much? Blah blah blah, Like you're going
to pick your mom from from her husband's that's your

(31:19):
dad's place, and going to take her to live with you,
either to say, oh, you want her to take care
of your kids, or she's not feeling good or whatever whatever,
and then you leave your dad behind, which makes him
older and he doesn't have the kind of care he needs,
or you're taking your mom in to care for like
your mom, care for your kids, take take them a bird,

(31:42):
bring them here, bring them why why it just came
back to my head. Okay, take them out of the country.
You know, it's usually the mothers that get those treatments,

(32:05):
like because your mother is useful, but your father you
have to No, no, no, I'm just saying I'm giving an example.
I'm just saying, like, so if take, for example, I
live here and I have kids, I'm not gonna bring
my dad to watch. My mother is going to be
like another child I'm going to take care of. I
get what I'm trying to say, because it would expect
me to cook, to clean, to do the What if

(32:26):
I bring my mom, she's going to watch the kids.
She's gonna make dishes before I get home, you know
what I'm saying. So sometimes it could be that it
could be because your mother is I know, father. I
thought about it, like, fathers also deserve to be celebrated
because a lot of fathers, Yes we have their big
dads and all of that, but we have fathers that

(32:48):
go above and beyond for your kids, that even if
even in a situation where they're not together with the mom,
they still go above and beyond, they still try their
best for their kids, you know. So it's not so
I'm not saying it's not an American thing. It's not
an American society thing. It's something that is a general
thing everywhere. And I feel like people should really really

(33:13):
start looking at it in a different way or perspective, because,
like the thing I said, we feel if your mother
could have not been in the moment. Now you got
to say what it was because people aren't going to understand.
So now you got to say, because I.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Want him to say, not me, it's all lies.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
You got to explain it.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
I never see it's lies, but it's true.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
I agree, What do you mean, Yes, it's true.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
My thing about it, I think it's I think it's
I think it's a lot with women are valued a
lot more than men. I hate to say it like that,
but it's like your mother, like your father. If you
go with your mother and your father, your mother, the boys,
oh mommy's mommy, like we we we love the girls

(34:02):
as father, you know. But it's like your mother is
like you came out the womb of a woman, so
it's like she did the carrying, you know. And like Brian,
I mean, like Psycho went back, it's a lot of
the single mothers out there that ended up with the
kids doing the carrying, and a lot of debbie fathers

(34:23):
that that. You know, when you see the mothers on
welfare and you saw always the mother carrying it with
their kids, they take them.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
You know, the mother's the strong point, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
So it's it's like it's a value in and the
women mothering more than the fathers because of certain things
like that.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
So you're saying society in general upholds women, uphold women
more than men.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
I don't know if I want to put it like that,
but I would agree with that because I think women,
I think women aren't held to a higher standard, not
a higher standard. They honor, you know, that pedestal whatever
society and society except our mothers. I say, our mothers
and talking about our individual mothers. So you know, we

(35:13):
as sons and daughters, we will put our mother above
and beyond, you know, And we've had conversations about that.
You know, when we're talking about the serial killer, what
you do?

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Serial killer?

Speaker 1 (35:23):
I know what you know, But if you look at it,
it's a higher rate of mother value and you know
my father's Now you got some you got some kids
that were closer with their fathers and their mothers, the
downbeat their lives or whatever.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
So you do have that out there.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
But but but the most kind of the most common thing,
like Villonius said, it's like the mother is like you
know what I mean, Like it's it's like it's a
lot of it's a lot of the single mothers that
was out there, that's out there. And yeah, then you

(36:01):
got the sons that see that I've seen. Ray Lewis
told here's a good example. Ray Lewis gave a speech
and he was kind of like I told my mother,
you know, you would never have to struggle again.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Once I made it.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
You got a lot of the you know, it's that
kind of respect, it's that kind of honor to your
to your mother. It's kind of like that makes it higher,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (36:24):
And it does.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
It always goes back to when when we're younger. Talk
about example that you gave. When we were younger, we struggle.
It was usually mom and the kids or whatever. And
you know the first thing you said, you know what,
I'm never going to let my mom struggle, you know,
And people.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
They you know, they get rich and famous, whatever, the
first thing they do is.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
What about it, mom? Something the house.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
Exactly exactly.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
But what I don't like, and it's kind of shifting
a little bit, but what I don't like is that, alright,
this Father's Day and we we had Mother's Day, Mother's Day.
You see everything on social media. Great mom's a artists
that whatever, and we all appreciate that, there's no no
doubt about that.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
You know.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
What we don't see is to all the worthy mothers
out there or you know, so on Father's Day, it's
always a you know, to all the real fathers out
there and mother's doing the father's job. And I'm like,
hold up, hold up, hold up, why do you always
have to put a condition on that for Father's Day?
And then say, you know to the or even mothers.

(37:25):
Some mothers will say happy Father's Day. To me, I'm like, no,
you're not a father. You could be a great mother,
you know, an extraordinary mother, but you'll never be be
a father. You know, that's just And even with a son,
and it's usually because they you know, boy moms right,
but they'll say now I would tell them, I said, well,

(37:45):
son is going to learn from his father or a
father figure, whether it be real or proceed. So, you know,
growing up you might say, well I didn't have a
father in my household. Then there's some there's a neighbor
that you look at and say, Okay, you know, I
like what he's doing, that's what you should do, or
or guess what a TV father. Yeah, so you're gonna

(38:06):
learn something, will pick up something, but you're not going
to say, Okay, well, you know my mom's you know this, this,
this and that whatever, So that's how I want to be.
You know, you may take some things, but you're saying
the mom is this, this and this because she's a
great mom or great person, not because she's a great father, right,
you know, And that's what a lot of people. That's
that sets a lot of guys off. Thank you to

(38:27):
all the the real dads out there.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah, you know, that's not okay. And it's a lot
of single fathers out there that don't get the credit
that they deserve, and it's unfair to them. It should
be you should be getting the same amount of credit
that single moms.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Do you think they saying that though, because of a
lot of the guys get these these women pregnant and
then boom lee. Yeah, they stuck with the kids and
raise the kids.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
And it's usually only that person who's had that situation
who's posting that thing that way.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
So and again I understand that, but you're never going
to be a father. You could be a great mother,
like I could say, well, I can do everything that
my you know, my child's you know, mother could do.
I could do all that, But I'm not a mother, right.
You know, it's certain things that you just cannot do.
You're not going to you know, if I have a daughter,
which I do, you know, she's not gonna look at

(39:20):
me and say, oh, you know, I'm gonna be a
good woman like my dad. You know, there's certain things
that just by your biology you're not going to understand.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
I'll give you one example. So my daughter had an
issue in school, she had stomach pain and whatever, and
we had this we have this family group. Me herself
had died, and then she was texting in it and like,
I have stomach pain, I need to go home. But
I was at work. I wasn't I wasn't looking at

(39:51):
the text. I need to go home. And that was like,
what's going on in said my stomach, and she's like,
where's Mommy, Like where's mommy? Like she would know, she
will know what to do, she will understand, you know.
So and I started I don't know. So he sent
me the message like see what she said, like, you know,
because I would know what to do exact. Another example

(40:12):
would be when my mom, Oh my god, my mom.
When I finished secondary school, which is high school, and
I got admission into the university, but I wanted to
go to the UK and London to for my studies,
so I didn't take the admission. For the first day,
I didn't defer, I didn't do nothing. I was just

(40:32):
just left it. But then the UK it didn't work
out again. It had it had so many requirements. I
wasn't ready to go through all of that.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
They missed a great whatever.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
So so yeah, so it was like, oh my god,
I already missed, Like I missed that already on this admission.
What would I do? My mom went with me to
the school. My mom was literally kneeling down crying. Oh
my god. She was crying and begging, and she's like,

(41:04):
because it's because I lost my job. We couldn't afford
the schoolfe is, we couldn't afford this, please please please
be all the breaking and all the crying, they said,
you know what, Okay, yeah we'll say she defied. You
know what I'm saying. My dad would never do that, never,
because they.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Don't have to be that object or image of strength.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Yeah. So so stuff like that. You see your mom
being emotional doing stuff for you're going out of our way.
That's how she can as a woman, that's how you
can express yourself. Doesn't mean she's better or whatever, you
know what I'm saying, but bringing you out of her
and you're like a part of her already, you know.
So it's just the love and concern and whatever that

(41:45):
she shows that that makes it feel like she's better
or greater than the dad.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
You know, the mother the nurturing. The father is the provider.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
So they don't think providing is such a big deal,
you know, I think with that, but guess what the
mother is going to look for every way or everything
to make sure. Yeah. So that's the thing there is
there too, and they don't get the credit. Yeah, so yes,
they do have the like they do have people like him. Yeah,

(42:19):
I wouldn't. I won't take that from you, you cycle anyone.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
Also, the mother can't teach the boy to be a man,
right the father, yes, teach him to be the man.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
What do we know about being a man? Yes, So
some there are some great dads out there that do
even even what a woman can do. Like you said, yeah,
take care of them, make food, do everything. Men complain, Yeah,
whatever you say, what is wrong with you? You know?

(42:54):
But then they just don't get enough credit. So I
feel like we should appreciate our men more. Yeah, because
really they do a lot. They do a lot. It's
not easy to pay the bills, right, you know, pay
the bills, making sure that you have a roof over
your head, the light bill is paid, everything is paid.
Hell if I if I see a roach or whatever

(43:15):
in my house, I'm not gonna do anything.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
I'm gonna wait for the man.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Of course, so I shared that I can't always do that.
In my apartment. One time we had a mouse. The
mouse got caught in the glue. I couldn't take it outside.
I had to wait. Because I'm not gonna do that.
I can't. So there are things that I don't take
for granted. You know, I can never do I'm not mad.
You know, I can't. I get it a hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
You know, reminds me of lamb chopped uh boys in
the hood when Feris and uh Angela Bassett had that conversation.
And then she goes, now, I'll give it, give you
that you've been a man, you told them how to
be a man. But mother's been around since the beginning
the time. You can't tell me I can't be a

(44:01):
mother to my son. It's like the battle, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Said?

Speaker 1 (44:05):
She says, mother has been around for since the beginning
of time. Yeah, was hatching from eggs.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Whatever.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Here he goes, Okay, that's another podcast for another day.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
I'm just saying, you know.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
But you know it was it was pretty strong because
because of the fact that he was telling her he's
a man, he got his own, got a job. Why
are you buying them because she brought them shoes? Why
are you buying them stuff? Why he has a job.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Whatever.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
She goes, don't tell me how to be a mother
to my son. You might have raised him and told
him how to be a man. I give you that,
but she's still the mother's been around since the beginning
of time.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Still so yeah, so it's a clear understanding of nurturing
and being raising your son to be a man, right
you know?

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Okay, yeah, so.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
What's a what's a habit you picked up from your
father or tradition? No, I'm gonna tell you it's funny
about that. I said, a habit which I noticed a
lot of us, like me and my brothers, we we
have those habits that we picked up on my father
and he is over here dying laughing, even if we haven't,
we didn't live with them. Okay, So I think I

(45:16):
was leading up to saying I think a lot of
things are are genetic, because there's.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
No way we can pick up all of us pick.

Speaker 3 (45:22):
Up certain things that lived together.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yeah, that's funny, like what you.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Know, Just like earlier, like he was he was telling
you about coffee, So he's doing he's that's my father.
He's using his hands to show you how to stir.
That's my father, and that's what he did. He did
that with everything you know, and you.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
Did that too. You're talking. When you're talking and explaining
stuff usually yeah, yeah, psycho, Psycho, Psycho picked up a
lot of traits from my father. He got a lot.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
He got a lot.

Speaker 3 (46:04):
Yeah, Okay, I'm like, do you have to demonstrate it's different.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
It's different because I'm telling the story.

Speaker 4 (46:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
But you know you said your dad did that. Yeah,
I saw, I saw, Yeah, I saw his dad in
the picture was a picture of video, okay. Yeah, and
I'm like, oh my gosh, this is you because he
was also.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Wow, oh he was doing it in the video.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Yeah, that's too funny. That is too funny.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
Were explaining something, yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
And just using his hands, like he cannot sit still
while talking to you again, he can't. He definitely can
still when I go from here here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
you don't have to show me, you know.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Well, no, I do it because sometimes people don't understand English.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
I do it. I do it. I'm gonna tell you
one of the things I picked up from my father,
and I didn't realize that that's where I got it from.
I always have a bell on my door. There's always
a bell on the main entrance of my house. Like
a doorbell, No, No, like a jingles like something that

(47:16):
makes when it opens. It's on the handle, So if
you touch the door handle, the bell it's gonna ring.
I didn't realize that that's where I picked it up from.
And I went to his house, to his apartment when
he was sick, and I was cleaning his apartment and
I saw the hanging bells on the door, and I
was like, oh my god, that's where I got that from.
So what did the significance is when my kids would

(47:39):
try to sneak out, I would hear the bells, and
for him, he's just like, if somebody trying to get in,
you're gonna hear those bells. And I've always had a
thing of bells on my door always. Okay, so I'm
going to ask all three of you first, with you
lunch up, what do you love about your dad? Oh
my god, I think he's so smart. Yeah, I think smart.

(48:00):
I think he's stylish. He has always been a very
stylish man, Like he would buy Italian shoes before we
knew that that was a thing. But that was that
came from him traveling the world, you know, being in
the Air Force and stuff. So I think he's smart.
I think he's very stylish, and he is funny. It
takes you a minute to get it, but he is
funny and he does not take ship from anybody. And

(48:23):
I think that's a good thing about you, cycle because
you're on the right.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
All right. Now, you said, what what do I love? Love?

Speaker 1 (48:36):
All right?

Speaker 3 (48:36):
So I'm crazy advice.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
No, no, no, no, I'm go because my father what
I love about him he has a great sense of humor,
Like he could find humor in anything even when he shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
You tend to laugh at some inappropriate moment.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
So that's that's what he really liked about him.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
And he was he was definitely never mean spirited. You know,
I don't care. The one time that I ever see
my father angry, like angry, angry outside of him, you know.
Explaining something is that when I was little.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
He's to take me to this bar.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
Little how little, like maybe seven. He'sa it was the bar,
Moses Bar back in the day. Everybody knows about Moses Bar.
But anyway, he used to take me to the bar,
right and he would you know whatever, and I would
he would give me Coca colas. Okay, yeah, No, I
didn't drink except when you know, when we was in

(49:35):
the back of the pickup truck. He used to handle
handle beers back to me and my other two brothers.
But anyway, so the one time that he was angry.
Was I was playing this video game and this one
you know, I ended up repend this one guy go
up there and laugh and kind of basically took me
off the thing, and I, yeah, my father was living.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
I saw it in his faces. Well you've fini.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
I was like, yes, I'm finished, No, because I didn't want,
you know, but I saw that that. I had never
seen that before. I was like, oh my god, he's
gonna kill him. What was he gonna do?

Speaker 2 (50:09):
You know? But yeah, he was always.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Uh well, he was very friendly to everybody. Even even
so the funny part about even if he had like
his he had some biased ways. You know, he like
he would saying, I tell you, we said, watch some
perto Ricans. You know they got switchblades, or the cost
of greens is going up because of the Jews. And

(50:32):
he always had stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Everybody it has everybody has to blame for something.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
But he had.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
But he but he loved everybody, you know what I'm saying.
So it's like he never said anything out of you know,
being mean spirited, and he treated everybody. Everybody treated everybody nice,
kind you know, That's what I loved.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
The bottom and he.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Was a very uh good outdoorsman he was. He liked
the venture, you know, and we could always talk about
our d's in the navy and stuff like that, and
all his career stories. And I definitely enjoyed those because.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
Okay, all right, I want you the Matricks Cinema first.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
I'm gonna say one of the things I think you
know that I picked up because I didn't get that
my partner on that.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
One.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
One of the things I think I picked up from
him was funny storytelling because everybody, everybody always telling me
the stories I had, you know, happened to me in
my life. It's really funny. You a great storytelling. And
then the two things I loved about him was this cooking.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
He was the best cook I ever seen my physical
eyes ever. Like, no chef, no anything match.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
What I you know he he he was.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
He could have been a top chef, that's how good
he was with along.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
But he was saying, as far as the cook, he
can cook anything, like if you know the dog got
hit on the street, like he.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
Couldn't he could make a meal. And good stories about
that too, the raccoon, the turtle.

Speaker 3 (52:14):
The yeah story, He's saying his story.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
But the other but the but the other thing I
liked about him he kind of touched bases on it
is uh.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
He was funny.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
He like, you could be mad, and I swear to you,
you go up to him and start talking to him,
and you could be telling about what happened or whatever,
and he will find a way to make it funny.
You'll be like, damn, I'm laughing at this ship, you know,
like like it's kind of like he had. I don't
know how he was able to do that, but he

(52:48):
like he said something you you wouldn't think should be funny,
he made it funny.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
So that was two traits I loved about him.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Was just cooking and able to just make you laugh
no matter what the time was or whatever.

Speaker 4 (53:03):
So all right, there has a wish.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
Well for me, I would say, my daddy is is.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
A bird.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
It's very it's very blunt to a fault, very very blond.
It could be it could come off as depends on
who's telling. When you're not at the end of the what,
when you're not at the receiving ends. So it's good,
it's fun. You can laugh, but if he's talking to you,

(53:52):
you don't want to be that person because he'll tell
you as like there's some things that you can't say
that to somebody. He's going to say, you know, it's
it's it's it's just something. But then I think as
he has grown older, he has learned to be cautious
to know, Okay, I'm not going to say this, I'm
just going to keep it in Before while yes, before

(54:13):
he used to just say and I love the fact
that he's his no stingy. It's a very given dad. Yeah,
and he's very proud dad. Yeah, my daddy will never
ask you for dying, never ever asking.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
That's a cultural thing, right.

Speaker 3 (54:35):
I don't know, because no, because if you're if you're
lacking some way, you should be able to ask your kids
like he I. So he's for him. He feels like
you should know, like you shouldn't. You should know it's
you're right, you should know. You should know your father
is not okay, you should know it should be sensitive

(54:56):
if you understand, you know that's how it is. For him.
That's the kind of pres is like you should know
that I can't. I can't come and ask you. Sometimes
I be like, hey, Dad, you know my brothers live
with you in London. You can go to their house. No,
I'm not going to go if they don't ask me.
Shouldn't they know they have a father and their father.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
Should you know?

Speaker 3 (55:14):
That's so to me sometimes it's funny, but that's the personally,
is that he has this principle like he should not
ask you for stuff. You should know that it is
your duties, your right to do stuff for him as
the father. You shouldn't come and beg you or ask you.
He's making his he's cool, but then you should think, oh,
so stuff like he feels like Okay, if I say, oh,

(55:35):
I'm going on vacation, now I want to travel, you
should know that. Okay, my dad's going to travel. Okay,
I should send him some money. Okay, now hey I'm
going to travel. Oh, we will send me. No, he would
never say that he will. So he's proud. She's also proud.
He's proud of man. So yeah, yeah, he has his ways,
don't don't we all? Don't we all?

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Well, we all have different perspective views of our father.
Obviously from the conversation here.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
So like.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
If when I said mentioned that a son is gonna
learn from a father, whether than real or fake. So
how does TV or the media portray fathers today?

Speaker 3 (56:18):
Are they on TV? Can you think of it? Well,
James Evans, Okay, are they currently on Well, they got rebuns.
But you know that's hard to say because I don't
think I watch anything currently right now that there is
a black father in the house.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
There's no there's no father. Uh well, I'm trying to think.
I can't recall any either.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
All right, So I'm gonna tell you who is a
good father that you can you know, not necessarily have
to be a black person. But I thought I thought
Taiwan Lanister was a good father.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
I thought.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
It his own way he was. It was only twisted way.
He was looking out for his client, his.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Time, family, family, everything, even when he didn't like his
other you know, his tyrian. He's like you exactly about
recent recent shows of his father, like the Good male Father,
any recent old Yeah, you know, I would say, uh,

(57:21):
well old.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
I want to say Bill Cosby, I.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Was going to be Huxtable.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah, I want to also say Uncle Phil and Carl Winslow,
you know, family matters. They were positive father. Yeah, black
role models. You know that's what you want your father,
you know, to be or whatever.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
James Sr.

Speaker 3 (57:48):
Like everybody did.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
I was about to say Jane from Good Time. Yeah, yeah,
he's actually the original. I think he was the best father,
the honest.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
But other than that, if you if you say me
and my cousin disagreed with us because we brought this
up the other day.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
I said, the most recent would be uh, my wife
and kids.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
I but my cousin had said he was like, I
don't know if I want to say that because I
don't like the way he talked to his son. That's
not a good. That's not yeah, that's not a good.
And I'm like, that's his personality. He was like, yeah,
but you don't want to do that as a positive
male figure.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
Times when he loving to his son. There's still times
in that show where he shows love and kindness to
his sons, right.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
And my cousin was like, if you say that, if
you say him, you might as well use what's his name?

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Fand Sam Fred lam no, King of the King of
the Hell. It was like, Bobby, if you are, he said,
you might as well use him if you're going to
do that, because the way he talks.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
To his son, it is some bad al Bundy. Dad's
out there.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
So but you would say that this this still portrayed
accurately because you have, you know, extremes. You have the
really good fathers, you have the stern fathers, got the
nurturing fathers, you know, then you got the fathers like
in let's say sugar Hill.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
You know he was he was a junkie, you know.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Yeah, So you do have some fathers that you can
where they were absent and you know, come back when
the person's famous and say, hey, you.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Know, yeah remember me, Yeah, yeah, that's that's my son.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Pursue a happiness though. That was a powerful father that
just went through everything.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
You cried, Who cried? Who cried?

Speaker 3 (59:38):
Absolute?

Speaker 2 (59:40):
I cried. That's the only movie that I can watch
ten times and cry every ten times. Yeah, Et, it
took me two times. Boys in the Hood, it took
me about.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
I cry on et. But definitely Boys in the Hood,
I could, I could go, I could do a little happiness.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
I'm crying every single time I watched them.

Speaker 1 (59:58):
They did when they did Blackula in Will You Stop
with the Black?

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Did You Start with the Black? But I can't even
I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
I cried. I cried one time and uh, the star
is born.

Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a it's a bunch of
them out there. I can tell you. I cried. Maybe
that will have a movie discussion about emotional movies.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
Okay, so now the some of the questions I had
was actually for fathers.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Okay, your fathers were going to call in? They did?

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
Yeah? They you know they didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
I guess it's Father's Day and they were doing things
for their fathers or their fathers.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
Also the children were doing things for them.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
How what challenges do single fathers or stay at home
father because we don't mention.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
News, Oh, to stay at home dads, what do they face?

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
What challenges do they face?

Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
Oh? Stigma for one. For the stay at home dads,
you know, they're just like, how can you let your
wife make all the money and you staying home? But
then that's weird.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
That'd be the first thing that I would say, Yeah,
that's weird.

Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
But they work just as hard.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
They do, and like, just like we'll say that even
a mother, stay at home mom is really like having
five jobs.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Yeah, but then that's her job. But what would that
be a still stay home because would.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Be let's say, yeah, the mother is making a whole
bunch of money. He's not making a lot of money,
and they wanted to, They want to, you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
Know, have a parent home with the kids. You would never. Yeah,
that's so weird. No, let's go out, run up, let's
pay for the babysitter. Let's wait. But that's true, Like,
that's weird.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Would you would you be a stay at home dad?

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Yeah? Would you?

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Would you like you looks like, have any problem? I
know she did not say that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
I would not want to climbing trees trying to fly
with there's a lot of mothers that fly.

Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
We're off track. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
I don't think.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
I know you would never And for real, I see
my husband being able to never. Never, not even your
husband not never be with anybody that thinks it's normal
to be a stay at home dad.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
I don't think it's I don't go you're gonna cook clean? Yeah,
they do it, all do the same thing. So that's
a no. So that's a difference. Huh. There's a difference. Like, Okay,
we both go out, you come back and you're making
the money. Still you're coming back. Okay, you decide you
want to cook, that's fine. But what so I'm gonna
go come back, meet your at home. You're gonna do

(01:02:26):
the kids on work, You're gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Yeah, I'm gonna let me tell you, in my household,
I cooked clean, I have to help the kids with
the homework all that. So for to be a single
dad and you have the kids or not even stay
at home dad, you're basically doing the same thing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
Except you're going.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
So you're gonna. So that's the point. That's where disrespect
comes in. Because if I have to buy your.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
Shoes, you know, you wouldn't have to because when you
when you go to work, you're bringing uh the money
home the daddy.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
It can't work. That's why they can't work for me.
So you can't work for me. Maybe some of the
people can't. You can't work for me. Make a word
of the day, I say, fathers of the day, fathers fathers.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Now, let me tell you one last thing, because said,
how do you want to be remembered by your children
a father? You know I'm gonna say since since, yes,
I would want my children to remember me as the enabler.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Like the money piece money. Okay, So did Joe your
ex wife have to be the stern one and put
her foot down and want you to one. Just let
the kids do what they wanted to do.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
So we had a distinct way of handling certain things, right,
all right. So she was the more the boisterous one,
she's gonna you know, and I'm the more or less
all right, hey, listen, this is how it is. Don't
do that or you know whatever. I was the more
the talker, you know, because my kids were never really
they weren't bad kids at all, you know, they were when.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
They got in trouble. It's always funny stuff. You know,
who who ate that? Who's messing in that chocolate cake?
Right then?

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
You know, both my kids come up in no So
Corey had a chocolate ring around and she said, she said, Junior,
and then add to add one and Daddy he know better.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Wow, big think chopplate ring around.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
So, you know, with stuff like that, that's that's how
my kids they got in trouble. It was usually like
funny stuff my son got hold of he knew how
to work the remote control to the television and ordered
all these uh these movies. It was like, yeah, regular
movies and we had like I think it was like God,
I think it was like three hundred dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
Yeah, so my kids, my son when he came to
technology was very smart. He learned fast with stuff like
that and then even six hundred dollars and games on
his phone. You know, I was, I was livid, but
we're gonna I'm gonna handle it differently and where his
mother would have been, yeah, you know, exploded.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
Lights out, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
So you know, I want to I want my kids
to remember me as being understanding, you know, and you know,
God God like anyway, thank you guys for tuning in. Yeah,

(01:05:37):
thank you guys for tuning in, taking time out on
this special special Father's Day.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
Very special Father's Day, and thank you for joining us.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
Yes, thank you, and catch us with the next episode.
You know, go to w w W dot Hot Topics
podcast is t O p i X and I spell
it out because there's a hot topic, you know, So
this t O p i X dot com. Please subscribe, share, like,
and click that event's button and you can see the

(01:06:07):
some of the events that we have coming up as
far as a podcast recordings. If you want to jump
in there and participate, participate, you're welcome. So oh, you know,
I forgot to tell Hyran's thing. Let me let me
this last one. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
He wanted to put his thing in for the fathers,
he said about his father. Let's see, where is it here?

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
So special, he.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
Said, made my father rest in peace, has some as
many others can say, as so many of us say.
I've learned a lot about my dad, good and bad,
and I wish he was still there so I could
learn more from him.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
So yeah, And then we did did the.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
Poll about if the fathers are underappreciated, and it was
one hundred percent Yes, appreciate. But thank you you guys,
and tune to next month.

Speaker 3 (01:07:04):
Thank you family for listening to the latest episode of
Hot Topics. As usual, listen, like, share, subscribe, Tom