November 18, 2024 • 57 mins
In part 2 of the Taking Care of Your Mental Health episode, the Hot Topix Podcast Team with special guest co-host Donna Marie, dive into the critical topic of mental health, sharing personal journeys and ramifications of mental health issues going untreated including the leaked sex tape scandal and subsequent fall out of Equatorial Guinea business man, Baltasar Engonga.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Listening Electrified and Vilified podcast on the nest Hot Topics podcast,
Let's Get this Party started. Welcome everyone to our latest
episode of Hot Topics podcast. I'm Psycho forty eighty one
and I'm here with Lamb chop Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
And it's been a long time. Yes, I know you
missed me. God missed you.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Flona she as as we reported earlier, she's she's she
escaped custody.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, and I'm back now. Yes, you are so special,
So I let.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Them know that. You know, they captured you and you
failed the question they asked you. They asked you who
wrote this, wrote the star spangled banner? And you said,
Martin Luther, king you so much, and we hear what
You're gonna be a special co host now, Donna Marie.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Oh that's so awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Thank you God, Donna, thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hey, y'all, I feel so special.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
For specialises in the award, we'd like to use She's
good special, good special, not Psycho special.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So in this episode where we actually wanted to talk
about some.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Things, finish up, we do part two of the mental health.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
It's not gonna be a long topic on that because
we have some other things we want to talk about
as well, And when we left, we talked about your
personal journey dealing with uh, taking care of your mental
health and.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
The steps that she took to get steps that you took.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Okay, but we we left out something. Actually we covered
a lot we did.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So it was a really good show and thank you again,
yeah for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh I know what it was. We also wanted to
talk about your your we call it the your organic
recipes or the things that you you put together.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Her entrepreneurship, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Her f A R mceuticals.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Okay, all right, pharmaceutical.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Pharmaceuticals, right, which is interesting how that works out, farm
and pharmacy pharmacy. Did you you ever heard of a
word called.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Apothecary apothecary y, Yes, that's like a drug store.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah. I learned that because if we have one around
the corner, good food, vegan food, whatever. But I was like,
what the hell is that? But it's but it's a
it's an old term like medieval times or probably earlier.
And that's what, like you said, it was a pharmacy,
you know that. Felonious She's like, no, let me get
(03:04):
my my word, my word out whatever. So yeah, we
want to. We want to talk about that in some
of the things unhealthy unhealthy coping mechanisms, and we talked
about that. Recognized behaviors, we talk about that too, changing
unhealthy behaviors. Oh, this is what it was. Managing stress
(03:28):
and anxiety, which is the most difficult, in my opinion,
m only because I know firsthand I'm very I'm very
poor at it managing my stress and anxiety that you know,
I reluctantly had to reach out for help.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Why was it reluctantly.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Because of the stigma of having one. I don't like
taking drugs period, you know, and then as a as.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
A Magican, I wasn't listening, I.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Said, I was, I don't like taking drugs.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Before that, we.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Reluctantly reached out for help.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
What kind of.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Well, so the thing was, you know, as a man,
we always want to we have that that thing that
we say we can handle it. We don't need counseling,
we don't need therapy, we don't need anybody but us,
you know, And sometimes you have to swallow your pride
(04:32):
or your or your ego and you know, realize that
you can't solve everything.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, you know that that keeps a lot of
people sick.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna take the funny part
about it. This is this is how I realized. No, actually,
let me let me roll that back. I didn't reach
out for help. I just realized that I never did
reach out for help. You know what it was? It
was it was uh, it was tricked. I was tricked.
Let me tell you why. All right. So when I
(05:04):
started having these issues, I didn't really I didn't feel
like it was I was going through anything or whatever.
But I kept saying, you know, I just felt funny inside.
Something doesn't feel right inside, like my body physically physically, right,
I just this. I couldn't describe it. It wasn't like
a physical pain, but it was something I couldn't sleep't,
you know whatever, Right, And then somebody mentioned, like, you know,
you should get some but I think what they called
(05:25):
she called uh funny you know, happy pills.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay, you know I ain't taking no.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Happy pills, right. So, but at the time I also
had the back injury. So I had the you know,
really really bad back pain. So when I went to
the doctor, she said she the first time they gave
me GABA penton that did absolutely nothing. And then when
(05:51):
my doctor, my doctor's great, and she says, she's talking
to you, and she asked you all types of questions,
and I was like, I'm just angry all the time.
I was telling her certain things like that. And now
I do open up to my doctor. I tell them
everything whatever. I don't care. And then she said, Okay,
we're gonna try this medication. It's it's a this may
work when you're back and it'll help with your anxiety.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Okay. So that's how I got the diagnosis.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Of the medicine for that. And you know, she said, well, yeah,
you're you have anxiety, and you know this and that whatever.
So I took that and when I took it, I
was like, whoa, this works.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
She had the happy pills.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, this was like it just automatically made me feel
like like a person. Yes, you know, because I would
go home. This was doing COVID too. I would go
home and I was sitting the parking lot and to
sit there because I didn't want to go into my apartment.
I just would sit there. So but that that's how
I got into that. And then as time went on,
(06:54):
you know, she used to she would talk to me
about the my anger issues or things that was bother me.
And then she said, I think I don't know where
I got to think about the therapists, because I think
it seemed like at the time everybody was going to
a therapist. And I was like, all right, I'll try.
You know, I don't have nothing to lose, you know.
(07:14):
So I did and it was like a It was
like almost like a venting session. I don't think she
gave me anything that I couldn't have figured out myself,
but it felt good to unload and you know, realize,
you know whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
In a non judgmental space.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yes, yes, but even the podcast thing is is, you know,
almost the way of therapy for me. So and you know,
when I went through that, you know, I reached out
to everybody that you know, because it always comes up right,
you know, and I was like, hey, you know therapy,
you know, do some therapy. That was the keyword, therapy.
(07:51):
You know, hey, go if you need the medication. And
of course I had the mental health issues that it
was in my family, so I talked to them and
I saw where it helped and why people didn't want
to take it. So, you know, I try to relate
my situation with with them, like, you know, if it's
not working for you, don't take just don't stop. Just
(08:12):
get something different or get a different So so I
promote that now, and but I would like to not
take drugs, so I would look for alternative you know,
means so I'm not a kill person.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
But oh well, thank you, thank you for sharing that.
And you weren't tricked.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I would never have taken anything, any drugs of that nature,
except I had such bad back pain and it came
with it. But I wouldn't. I would never because some
years ago they wanted to prescribe me PAXL and I
was like, all right, I take it whatever. Then one
of the guys said, you know that's for depression. So
I ain't depressed. I'm angry, and he said and he said,
(09:01):
he said yeah. I don't know if he be said
it's going to mess up.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Your sex life or yes, it may cause.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But the other doctor was like, hey, you know it's
going to you know it's going to it may delay
your your ejaculation or whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was like, okay, on that note, we're going to
take a break for commercial mm hm, all right, we're
back you're so special it's on just chuckle, but.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That that was actually one of the benefits though, So
I mean, and you know, so I don't I don't
have an issue with it, but I just want I
want people to know that it's okay to you know,
go out there and be course be cursed.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, no, she did. She did not trick you. She
gave you an option for a problem that you were having.
Just like if you had diabetes, she would give you
an optional medications that you could take. And I think
if people started to look at mental health in that
gen in that vein, more people would get treatment. How
(10:10):
did you feel about that, Dona?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (10:13):
You know, going back to something that I said in
the last show that we did, and I'm going to
touch on this. Unfortunately, especially in the black community, we
have put so much stress on our men and boys
that there are supposed to be superman. You're not supposed
(10:38):
to show your emotions. You're not supposed to cry.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
If you cry, what you cry for your old punk.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
So you know, we do a disservice to our men
when we don't allow them to express the feelings that
they're having. You know, and a lot of times and
I don't think that we as women do it intentionally,
do We.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
We tend to.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Look to them to be the savior in every situation,
and when they need to be poured into some women
look at that as being weak, right, and then then
our men don't have a place.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
To release that.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
So, yeah, you are walking around angry all the time,
you know, because we have culturally said be a man.
Men are strong and it can handle everything, put everything
on their back. Yet women are supposed to be so docile,
so weak. So well, everybody but.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Black women right right.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
You know, we supposed to just carry the way to
the world on our shoulders, and we're supposed to.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Suck it up and not feel any kind of way
about it.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
It's like, you know, hey, suck it up, get it done,
you know what I mean, Get the babys fed. And
you know, meanwhile, we expect him to go outside and
work for the man and you know, be disrespected.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And you know, I don't know what.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
It is to be a black man in America, right,
But it's something my husband used to say to me
all the time because I have a very strong personality
and he's very quiet and reserved.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What's his science?
Speaker 5 (12:29):
Libra Okay, Libra, very quiet, very deserved. He's not going
to express how he really feels because.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
That's what he saw in his household from his dad.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
And men just don't cry, They just don't complain, They
just don't express how they feel. They just don't talk
about it. Meanwhile, I'm all emotional.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I want to talk about it everything. Oh, you don't
get it, you know.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
And then that that causes a disconnection. But when he
said to me one day, you know, you never leave
space for me to express how I feel like. I
have feelings too. I have things on my mind that
I need to express, you know. So as I go
(13:23):
through my journey with mental health, I try to encourage
him to just kind of take the step, the first
steps to say, okay, I am mad. If you want
to see somebody, see somebody and again. And I think
that you know, most medications are derivative from plants, right,
it's just a version of something that you know. They
(13:45):
don't want you to know that you can practically heal yourself.
This plan out there for everything, right.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
So.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
I would say to my you know, to any man,
but especially black men, you know, mental health is real.
And it's like she said, taking a pill like taking
it's like I have high blood pressure. I'm gonna take
that pill and make sure that you know I'm not
dead from the silent killer. So could not not want
(14:15):
to take a pill that it's going to because you
said yourself that when you took it you felt a
little freer.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yes, right, you felt a little relaxed. Right.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
I know that feeling that you felt on the inside
and is a feeling that you can't quite explain, but
you feel your heart doing something, your stomach does something,
like everything is just trying and you trying to make
sense of what you're feeling. And it's a physical thing like,
so there are natural ways to try to manage your
(14:53):
mental or for me, that wasn't enough. Okay, So the
two together seems to be working, gotcha, right? So again,
you always have to find what may work, what works
for you. But I would not say because I don't
(15:15):
like taking medications either.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Right.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
That was the reason why I had to wait off
surgery because I was a diabetic and I can receive
the shot from someone, but I can't give myself a shot.
And the moment I got to the point that I
had to call my husband, Hey, can you come over
here and help me with this shot, or ask my grandson. Hey,
(15:39):
I remember giving my grandmother her insolent. I don't want
that for my grandson. So I had to make the choice.
I knew I wasn't going to be able to lose
it on my own because I was the emotional eater,
and we talked about that. I feel like in the
back of my brain somewhere I probably legitly was trying to,
you know, just eat all of my emotions away and
(16:00):
held myself that way, just overeat. But so I chose
to do that, right, So with doing that.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
It you have to do what you it's best for you.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
But do not rule out medication. It's not the end all.
It's not the end of the world if you do.
And whoda damn who cares?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Who? Like? For real?
Speaker 5 (16:23):
For real, because some of the people did you feel
like maybe looking at you.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
In the clause that they might be on something right
or should that mental Everybody.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Is always afraid of what that stigma looks like.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
You know.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Again, like we said, what goes in the house stays
in the house. We don't want nobody to think be crazy.
I don't want to, you know, like you felt like
you was duped. I told you what my doctor did.
She was like, oh, yeah, you ain't call that number.
You called it, but you didn't follow up. I got
something for you. I'm gonna go ahead and make my
office will make the appointment for you.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
So for me it was a little different. It wasn't
I didn't care what whoever thought about me. I didn't care.
It was the fact that for me it was like
I can do it myself. I don't need that. I
know I can do it. And a man's supposed to
be able to do this, you know, because that's what
(17:18):
you saw on TV.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You know, well that's what men around you said.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yes, yes, even the military guys too, you know, you know,
put the big boy paints on the walk through that fire.
But that's that's what we did, you know. And it
was kind of I don't I don't know if I'm
want to say it was ego or just whatever, but
it was like, I know I can do it. I
don't need to be at this particular level where I
need medication. That's for people who don't have the mental
(17:48):
abilities that I have, you know, because I'm wanted the
X men, Yeah we can X that.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, but you know, I.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
Hear that, and I know that it's probably a lot
of people like that, and I feel like in the
beginning hours like that, like I don't like taking pain medication.
I don't like doing all of that kind of stuff.
But you know, for people who were you know, maybe
listening or who will hear this, you know, if you
(18:20):
know that at some point that you may not be
able to be one of the X men, to be
so strong that you can overcome everything on your own,
do not rule out medication, right because it can be helpful.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
So before we get into we're going to go into
managing stress, because this is the big part where most
people don't know how to do that or they fail
at it, right they be and me and also building
resilience in the face of adversity. So that's more or
less the cooping stuff. How do you how do you
plan on you know, how are you gonna cook for
(19:02):
things in the future. But before we get into that
felonious notorious one. Mm hmmm, I'm not a carry.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
He keeps saying he's going to add something else to
the name, Like every week you get another uh, what
is it? An adgitive adjective name. Oh yeah, Donna, definitely, yes, Yes,
we're definitely gonna give you come next time you come back,
you're gonna have a name. Yeah, Psycho gives everybody a name.
(19:36):
And one day we'll explain lamb chop. It's not funny,
yes it is.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Well, what did you have? You had the story going? No, no,
I want to want to bring the story. Yeah, yeah,
we want to hear a story.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You want to hear my story? Yes, it has nothing
to do with so it's not relating to the mental health.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Especially we can relate it.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
So if you've been on internet, I don't know, you
look at African internet Instagram, so you don't know what
has been going on about a man?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Oh yes, yes, well that's related to mental health.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Okay, all right, So this man his name is baltss
are b from Equatorial Guinea. Okay, and I've seen that
he So he had this leaked sex tape okay with
(20:48):
like with four hundred women.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Four hundred plus women, yes.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yes, like the same time, not the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, I'm with you. Listen down, I'm with you. I'm
likelid happened at the same time. Yes, so he had
unprotected sex with this women. It's not like they had
any disease or anything, but yet but still right right now,
he's like the goats like men respect him. It's like,
oh my god, like so gross, so gross. I'm sorry, Okay,
(21:24):
stop that that image is birthed in my head. So
let me see. So let me let me give you
background on this, right, yeah, because I need more info.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So like she said that it was a guy who's
in Equatorial Guinea. He's a he's a crime.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Is he a politician or something?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Politician? Right, So it came out that he had unprotected sex.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
So he was being investigated about for crime. So this
sees his computer and stuff. So that's how that's how
they found out.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Found So it was four over four hundred women in
these women were wives of wives. Most were married bosses.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yes, of the governor, general of general yeah, turned general
that god of Guinea, the pastor, the pastor, the past
the pastor's wife, the pastor's brother's wife, his uncle's wife,
the attorney general's daughter like everybody, like everybody. So it
says he's a sex yes, and he was good to Okay,
(22:34):
I for lonely is how do you know I've seen
the videos. Yeah, no, I do not, Like everybody has
seen the videos, like it's everywhere.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So it's like, so I think two hundred and some
other women were married or all.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Of like in the picture, like a picture with like
twelve people, sixteen people, sixteen people, they're about he already
had sex with like out of eight women in that pig,
he had sex with six.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
In the picture.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
So one of the things.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
So he was taking videos, yeah, but that it was
consensual because they saw him doing the all the videos.
You see that he was smiling. Yeah, all the videos
you've been you've been, you've been going too far video.
Hey hey hey stay be American.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Stay stay your lane, listen. But but go ahead.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
With it, says a report that Baltaz was caught on
sex on tape engaging in sexual activities with multiple women,
including his brother's wife cousin. And yeah, and I think
the cousin's wife was pregnant. He had the one pregnant lady.
Who does that? Seriously, I wouldn't have sex when I'm pregnant.
(23:47):
But yeah, but not outside okay nothing, Yeah, yeah, you're right,
it was about side. He was one in your years,
but he has more strength than you.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Hey, look I saw the videos. I'm not impressed. Pressed.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
It's a lie. It's a lie. It's a lie. So
it's like they've given him like men, even men have
respected him to like to call him the go to call.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Him because he has so many women only.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Perform. He took them different scenario, different scenes by the
did you see the one by the river? Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I can't be okay with this.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
So that the guy with four hundred women, right, they're
in different places, hotels, outside the car, the woods, that whatever,
so and so the thing is and this is this
is where I know where guys was like, oh, he's
the greatest because I was. And the women are decent looking,
you know, so he didn't you know.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
So. But then my my take is my take is
as a marriage, if I have sex with somebody else,
what would I let him take videos of?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Right?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
But they said, oh, well they get something out the deal,
like right, they did, they got deep and it was good. God,
I can't stand yes, Oh I say that on a
consistent basis.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Like I'm trying, like would would make me as a woman,
it's sleep with my husband's brother, like find us a house.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
That's what it must be.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Really good.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
That's what I feel, and your cousin, that's what I feel.
It was he was really good. So everybody had to
have it because the women are talent. They were literally
looking in the videos smiling. He was sure. It wasn't
like he.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Calls me they were. They were clients. Okay, he called
them clients because he wasn't the only ones that they
were actually getting serviced by. Okay, he was the one
who had the tapes, so it wasn't just him like
saying I got this one, this one, this one, this one.
These women were being serviced by different people.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
None of that makes it better.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I'm not saying. Trust me, I know this.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
These things you do when you say got all married women,
A lot of chunk of them, A lot of them.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Were the majority of them were married. Yes, but they
were so.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But it's like, all right, so if you have a club,
and I'm gonna tell you this by my own experience, right,
So like when you're in the military and you have
a whole bunch of military people and you know, advised,
different ranks, whatever, and some people go out they get
deployed overseas or whatever those same women will go to
because we knew every time we knew a unit that
(26:54):
was for detached because the base club would fill up
and it will be all the lives and whatever. So
while there their husbands was away or significant others, they
were in the clubs and that's where a lot of
the guys would go in there, and that's where they
would get their little you know, the grove.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
So he was a helper, Yeah, he was a he
was a helper. No, he was not a helper. I
feel like this is a sex addiction.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Sorry, So okay, So that's how we're going to relate
that to mental health, because those are one of the
things that somebody who has mental health issues, how they cope,
how they how it manifests.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
But how can I wonder how and his wife, pretty woman,
they have six children. So I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm
not surprised for somebody with that kind of high sex drive,
right because it's.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Not it's not like it happened like every day. This
was no, no, I'm telling you, it was over a
period of time. So there's no way you can have
sex with four hundred women.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Because you cannot doesn't mean somebody else can. Because he
cannot does not mean somebody else cannot stop making it.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
I wouldn't. I'm an upstanding man. I don't believe in
prematal sex.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So so let me scoot over here with a light
to come and strike you for that big old lie.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
But over over the course of this was some time.
But again, these were women who, like in the circle.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Somebody some people have not even have you even slept
up to like thirty women in your lifetime?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, I know, I know, I take them.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So four hundred is what you have on tape. So
imagine the ones that he doesn't have one, So imagine
in his lifetime fifty fifty four years.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
And that's reckless to a guy. To the guys just
praising them. And I'm gonna tell you this how, this
is how what they do. So in the videos they
try to emulate them, and he has a certain thing
that he does. Put yeah, he does that, and that's
what they started doing. I'm like, you know, for me,
I'm like, that's whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
The Justice Show, it's just to show who they're referring to.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
It's just you.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Know, Okay, So he does this thing so that means
other men are trying to beat him or emulate him.
So does that mean with this reckless behavior that he's having,
so he's getting other people that they're liking him to pharaoh,
(29:29):
they're liking him to a pharaoh. Okay, So my question
is is he irresponsible in that other people are going
to try to emulate him and sleep at all these.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
First, let's let's be real, there are men out here.
This is not new by any means.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Let's be real. That's some women after seeing those videos
that want to go.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
But that's not new. That is not new. That's been
happening probably since the beginning of time. The only difference
is he has the tapes. I know, and I know
people that's that's had that behavior. The only thing. The
only difference is is that whether you've had the access
to that many because that's that's a job in itself,
is being having access to different women. But if you're
(30:16):
going to you're getting women and they're in a circle
where they're getting passed around, right or service or whatever,
it's easy. It's easy to have that access. You know,
people don't want to talk about stuff that's that seems
strange or they don't think it could happen. But there's
a lot of stuff that happens behind closed doors that
nobody ever, you know, would think could happen, but it does.
(30:36):
I was not shocked by it, you know, THEO I
would never try to, you know, you know, take on
that behavior.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I'm not shocked. Okay, time to take a break.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Okay, we'll come back in a second. Okay. So, but
here's the thing he was. He was arrested for for
whatever crimes. And on top of that, he's goot in
charge for what was it, public health something that had to.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Do with Yeah, yeah, that is a public health issue.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Absolutely, four hundred women unprotected sex. Those women lay with
their husband right they get pregnant, you don't know HIV
and AIDS and some diseases don't show up right away.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
As well.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
Oh with that, and clearly, uh, he has some issues
because that's an addiction. He sounds, you know, he has
an addiction. And the women, I'm quiet kind of questioning
like why would you even want to be on tape,
especially if you're married, right, Why why would you put
(31:51):
your family? Like you would never think like sometimes when
you do these things, you think that these things, like
you just said to stay behind closed doors and then
somebody something stupid. Now you all up on the in
it at your children, your family, your jobs, like your brother.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Yeah, that's all over.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
But people do a lot of things that they don't
think about the consequences after the fact.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
So with him, he's being charged with an offense against
public health. If they test him and he's found to
have an STD, he's going to have he's going to
have that hanging over his head as.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Well with the other chargers. Yes, so now four hundred
plus it could this could easily be a thousand people
that need to go out and get tested.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yes, because again, like I said, he's not the only
one that these women have.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
We don't know that. They never said that.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
You don't have the information I do.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Well, at least the married ones, you know, could be
having sex with their husband, so at least you know.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
Yeah, and if you're having listen for real, for real
from my perspective, at the end of the day, are
you looking at you to sleep with your husband's brother,
You willing to sleep with anybody?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
That's just I look at it.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Oh, I don't want to see that. You're disgusting.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
I know dangle, will you bet.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Yeah, he got it up.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
You know he does like herifling he got the shirt off,
pulled up.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Yeah, and that's that's what Listen, he'll had time to
take his pants down.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
He got four.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Hundred, he got three hundred and someone want waits not
even down? Like, yeah, he ain't got time for all
of that. No, no, he ain't got time for all that.
He got too many women to get.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
To one of the one of the women. One of
the women committed suicide.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Oh really, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
You didn't have the information. Okay, because because her video
went viral, she actually committed suicide, got that video to
commend but at her what you call them things, her
funeral or feeling or whatever, and you know, but anyway,
(34:10):
I digress.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
But I don't trust.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yes, I got the goods. I'm telling you, you know,
you don't have no goods that I can't.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
So sad because their faces everything was literally dead there
at the camera all the time. So there's no Oh
did he tried he's pretty song.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah. So it's the the thing is, that's that's crazy.
It's a craziness. But I'm what I'm saying is it's
not uncommon uncommon. The numbers may not have been as large,
but some people, even porn stars. Porn stars have thousands.
How many did Will Chamberlain have?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Oh? Yes, yeah, he said he had a ridicul women.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
You know, and like I said, I if you have,
if you have the ability or the access to do it,
it's gonna be done, whether you don't need to have
somebody say well I saw that and I want him
In some places, some circles as easy you can. Anybody
can get into a circle where you know, you know,
if they have free sex and it's not. And it
(35:21):
goes back to the Roman days too.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Shout out to HBO for the television series Room check
it out.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
The level of specialness that you it is good.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
It is good. I'm gonna give it to you when
I don't wan DVD like it.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I don't even know where my DVD player.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
It's like almost Spartacle's like okay, anyway, yes, but thank
you for that information. Over there, just eyes all in
the phone looking at the videos.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
So I'm sorry, I just can't. I can't don't. I
don't want to. And it's like huh yeah that that
I can't.
Speaker 5 (36:06):
I'm just seeing her face in my head, and that
makes me very sad because and it's very.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Relatable to mental health.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Because what whatever it was, I mean, the embarrassment, the
shame that she must have felt, what she put on
her family. Right again, sometimes when people make decisions to
do things when they're not thinking things out, you know
(36:38):
that who could she really talk to about that?
Speaker 3 (36:41):
The like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Like?
Speaker 3 (36:45):
What is I mean?
Speaker 5 (36:46):
I feel like, are you really like are they really consenting?
Speaker 3 (36:50):
What are you and what are you saying? Off camera? Though?
To get them in front of camera.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
It doesn't take much, it does.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
I Yeah, that's just disturbing to me.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
And all of them didn't know each other. They didn't
know all of you know, like if you have a
if you go to an office, right and you have
a let's say a government office, and you have everybody
who's working every day with each other whatever, I guarantee
you within that office, there's a circle that that goes
around where people are doing certain things that you know
(37:23):
that we wouldn't know. I guarantee you.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
Out of eight women in the office, he slept with six.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
So what.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
That's half?
Speaker 3 (37:37):
So how much is that I'm working for you?
Speaker 5 (37:41):
Because I just love working for you and I find
you attractive and I want to have sex with you?
Or how much is it? Did I feel like I
have to have sex with you to keep my job?
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (37:51):
How about this? How about this? When you have you
have a society or culture where you know you can't
do certain things, You don't have that that freedom to explore,
You don't have that freedom to you know, initiate sex.
So when when you when you look, when you get
(38:11):
into those situations and you have it's like anybody when
you when you see something that's that's not accessible to
you normally, and you have the opportunity to access it,
it gets except accessed.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, but a lot of times too, like she said,
in some situations, it's especially if you know the man
over the woman is saying, in order to keep your job,
you have to have sex with me, And if she's
the sole provider in that situation, what is she gonna do?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Let me tell you you can look, you can look
on those videos. They had no apprehensions whatsoever, and they
were actually motivated.
Speaker 5 (38:47):
But like, okay, I'm getting ready to tell you.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Tell us a story. Yes, how you got or you
was so fresh you know what, So.
Speaker 5 (38:57):
This is real my you know, my sister, especially my
sister Christine, she would attest to this because this is
a true story. I was living in Baltimore. I was
in my twenties. I didn't have a job. So a
friend of mine, who at that time manage girls, strippers
(39:24):
or whatever, came to me and was like, oh, you know,
he was a photographer too, and took some pictures. So
he had said, you had seen some pictures and they
had asked me if I would dance, and you know this,
that and the other. So that said in my mind,
I don't have a job. I need to try. It
(39:45):
was almost Christmas time, the rent was due. I had
to figure it out. So I'm young. I can take
enough drinks, you know, I can do it.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
So I swear for God I could make the shit up.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
So he calls me and he says, yeah, I have
this thing going on.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
In New Jersey. Right.
Speaker 5 (40:13):
So it's like three or four of us. So we
all pile up in this car. He don't have no
damn heat. It's coldest hell outside. We in the back seat,
and we all jumbled up, mumbled up all together trying
to stay warm.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Fast forward, we get to the little place. When we
walk in.
Speaker 5 (40:33):
There, my first mind was, oh, this is some old
suspect type thing, right, this is not what he sold
it to be. So you can tell right then and
there that the expectations, but the women, the girls, the strippers,
whatever you want to call us walking through the door,
(40:55):
that it was going to be more than just dancing
on the pole. It wasn't been set up for dancing,
and you know all of that. So I say that
to say that I found myself in a position where
(41:17):
I was doing things in my mind at the moment
that I needed.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
To do to pay the bill.
Speaker 5 (41:24):
And the expectation when I walked in the door anyway,
is that that was was going to be done right,
But then.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
This is how the door moves.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
I was, so, you know how, like I don't know
if you if you've ever been a drinker, or if
you drink, like sometimes you drink and you try to
get drunk, but you just can't get drunk, Like no
matter how much you kick back, you just can't get drunk.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Nope, I was.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
I was throwing them things back and I walked past
the mirror to hit like this long this wall with
this long.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Mirror, and I walked past the mirror.
Speaker 5 (42:05):
And I kind of glanced over and I saw somebody,
but I didn't recognize that that somebody.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Was me really, but like I kind of looked and
I was just like, wait a minute, who is that?
And then I looked in the mirror again and I
was like, girl, what in the.
Speaker 5 (42:21):
And right in that moment, I knew I felt this
ain't the place for you, This ain't the thing for you. Like,
as a woman, I'm not gonna apologize. You know, I've
had a heart like you know, you know, like from
a child. So and I feel, like I said this
(42:42):
in the last episode, like sometimes when you are a
kid of parents who are not around and one is
on drugs, one cleaned across the country and your home,
that you find yourself doing things that you have to
do to make sure that you could survive.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Right.
Speaker 5 (43:01):
So I'm not gonna apologize for that part of my
life because doing that it's helped shape me to the
person that I am. But in that moment, my mentor
was really jacked up that when I look in that mirror,
I saw what they were expecting, right. That messed with me.
(43:22):
So when I see that when you just showed me that,
young lady. I was on my weight on that path, like,
who are you?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Like?
Speaker 3 (43:33):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (43:34):
Like?
Speaker 3 (43:35):
Is this going to be what you do?
Speaker 5 (43:38):
And then the crazy thing as we froze our asses
off going back, You got to give you the money.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
For the gas, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (43:48):
So you did all of these things and then you
walk away with damn.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
There less than what you should have made.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
I got in the house and I just cried pride.
I felt like I had defiled myself. I had defiled
the temple that God gave me. These people who were
there did not look at any of us with any
kind of respect because you already knew what the party
(44:17):
was before we even got there. I felt trick and
betrayed by this person who was supposedly looking out for us,
but who did not necessarily tell us what the real
setup was.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Right, So.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
My mental was jacked up.
Speaker 5 (44:36):
But then God turned that situation around because the moment
that I saw myself in the mirror, I said in
my head to God, if once you get me up
out of here, I promised, I'm never coming back. I'm
never doing this again. I'm never you know whatever. The
next day I got a call from a company that
(44:59):
my sister was working at and they were looking for
a receptionist. So I was able to get a job.
But those things they play on your mental even now
just thinking about that, like girl, but hey, you know,
it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
And I don't honestly think that people realize the situations
that women are in sometimes and are are willing to judge,
which you know, we all have glass houses things that
we have to do, you know what.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
Absolutely, Oh.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
My gosh, oh my gosh, nobody was talking about you.
Speaker 6 (45:41):
Yeah, but it does in how you described it, it
does relate to mental health as well, because from your
past experiences before that kind of guided you to where
you you know, you found yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
And I'm I'm sure sure that experience changed future you know,
decisions or relationships and stuff like.
Speaker 5 (46:05):
That, right because listen, Okay, so I'm gonna take it
a step deeper than that, right. So remember I mentioned
that my dad was on drugs, right, So when you
have a parent that's on drugs, they're absent.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
So then you have other.
Speaker 5 (46:25):
Adults around you who should have been protecting you, but
they don't.
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Right.
Speaker 5 (46:31):
So then at a young age you learn these sexual
habits that at that age you shouldn't even be thinking about, right, right, right,
because the things that were done to you.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
So then as you grow.
Speaker 5 (46:49):
That becomes somewhat of the fabrica who you are, because
now these are the things that people or those people
around you who are supposed to be protecting you, but
to doing things to you. And then when you become
an adult, it's just that okay for me, you know,
you know when I'm talking to y'all, I'm talking to
(47:09):
me because I didn't have that male figure there to
protect me, and because I had to pretty much raise myself.
Sex was a way for me to feel wanted, even
if it even if it didn't feel good.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
If that makes.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Sense, Yeah, that makes absolutely sense.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
And sad to say, sad to say, I've heard the
story more than enough times, Yeah, I have, you.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Know, because we don't protect our girls. We just don't.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
And that's that's a mental I remember.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I was.
Speaker 5 (47:57):
When when I met my husband. I met my husband
through my sister's husband because they grew up together, they
went to school, and every time that joker saw me,
I was with a different cat.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Like listen, I'm.
Speaker 5 (48:10):
Young, you know, like I'm in my twenty I'm live
in my life. I'm taking care of myself. Like I'm single.
Single people do what single people do.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Right, But I and I'm moving like a man with
a man would move.
Speaker 5 (48:31):
Oh you so, oh you're just a warres friends? Nobody
would say nothing. Oh, I'm sorry, did I break up
a my bad?
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Okay, sorry about that.
Speaker 5 (48:41):
If I was a man and I was moving the
way that I was moving, nobody would say anything.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
But because I'm.
Speaker 5 (48:47):
Single and I got two three ten boyfriends, now I'm
you know, just loose, and I'm just.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
A war and I'm just this, and I'm just that
some of it may have been true at the time.
Speaker 5 (48:59):
I ain't about anything that I've done because it's made
me who I am today. If I can go back
in time, I wish that I had the type of
parents who.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Did the things that normal parents do.
Speaker 5 (49:15):
But that wasn't the cards that we were dealt with,
right right, So my husband had someone to come to
him and.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Be like, yeah, you sure you want to marry her?
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Slowly at all?
Speaker 3 (49:27):
Yes, that's a true story.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Mm hmmm, yes, because you know, like.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
We ran and kind of like.
Speaker 5 (49:36):
Like you know, you go to the clubs, you see
the same people. You know, everybody kind of like in
the same little thing. They know each other and some
of them know what you're like. I ain't know when
I met you that you knew such and such, an
even if I did, I'm single, I ain't got nobody
when I want how I went into whom I want
to do a bit?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
And if you're in Baltimore and Baltimore is small, yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I never had that problem. I like, who's at.
Speaker 5 (50:02):
But yeah, it was just like, yeah, you know, you
sure you want to marry her because she is so promiscerous.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
She is so you know out there.
Speaker 5 (50:13):
I'm not the cookie cutter type of I guess girlfriend
and that kind of and that I ain't gonna lie
to y'all. That messed me up. That messed me up
with it did it had me. I questioned my self esteem.
(50:35):
And then that was the moment that I started to
turn to be something in someone that I am not.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Did you find yourself trying to please him or be
a different kind of person.
Speaker 5 (50:48):
It wasn't pleasing him because clearly he married me, so
he didn't give a damn about none of that.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
You know, Like, clearly he walked down the aisle, he said,
I do.
Speaker 5 (50:59):
I'm sure probably in the back of his mind he
probably did have some questions and hesitations. But my thing was,
listen on the flip side of that card, how manybody
you donna made that?
Speaker 2 (51:10):
Right?
Speaker 5 (51:11):
Don't don't don't judge me, And even if you don't
have as many as I do, still don't judge me.
Speaker 4 (51:16):
Right.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
You know what I did, what I had to do
to make my ends meet.
Speaker 5 (51:23):
Or to survive or whatever it was, that does not
concern you because you're the here and now you're not
back there, you know.
Speaker 3 (51:31):
So, But I became what I thought that my mom.
Speaker 5 (51:39):
You know what people think, like, oh, wife is supposed
to be okay, you know, like, you know, make the nice.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
Homes, cook the food, wash your clothes, take care.
Speaker 5 (51:50):
The kids, and suppress food, suppressed who I really am
on the inside, like feeling like I just can't be
free and wild the way that I am. And that's
not like talking about the sex thing. That's just talking
about who I am, the fabric of who I really am. Yeah,
I felt like that I had to change that because
(52:13):
of the view.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Of men and how they.
Speaker 5 (52:18):
Perceived me to be, and that that that's that's hard mentally,
you know. Again, the lack of abandonment drew me to
want to be around somebody. This is the longest since
me and my husband has been separated that I have
ever been on my own, like with no male companion,
(52:43):
with no boyfriends and finding out who I am and
it's the and I feel like it is the best
time of my life.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
Do I get a little lonely every now and then?
Speaker 5 (52:53):
Absolutely like I haven't been touched by another human being
in three years, and I love it.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Wow, It's time to take a break and we'll be
right back.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
So this is a handful, right, you know. You know
we'll touch on on future episodes, will you know, kind
of break it up. But thank you for your that's
a that's a good personal insight. You opened yourself up,
so definitely appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Appreciate it, Yes, definitely appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
Appreciate the felonious opening up with her freak self.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
You know it was I can't with you. I'm just
you know that that story disturbed me. Y'all think I
thought it was funny, but I found it very disturbing.
Speaker 3 (53:47):
I'm still tripping on it because I think when you
said four hundred. I was like at the Saint.
Speaker 5 (53:53):
That would have been the video I wanted to see
because I wanted to see how all four hundred was getting.
Speaker 3 (53:57):
Service at the Saint.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
An assembly line.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
Well, it sounds like he had one anyway, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
This was this was over a period of time.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
But you know what, even if he had one woman
a day, that's still like four hundred been.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Yeah, believe me, there's people out there that's like that.
Maybe not on the four hundred level, but once you
get past you know, like for me, I don't mind
is like three, but once you get once you get
past the number three level, you know you got problems.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
So h three right, so he's probably moving towards Well,
it's at least it's no four hundred right right, You
had your share, ye.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
So anyway, thank you guys for tuning in, and we
look forward to the next episode. We do have something
coming up in the future. We have the suicide prevention
and some other fun topics. We're not gonna make everything
so curious. We gotta you gotta, you know, take care
of your mental health by acting out sometimes, you.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
Know, foolishness and nonsense. Absolutely, And did you say we're
having something this weekend.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yes, so well I might postpone that because we still
got seven people. That's always and yeah, so I have
to make me content. But but we do have upcoming.
We have a wine and pasta social with a podcast attached,
so that's going to be coming up sometime soon. And
we do need a word of the.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Day self esteem.
Speaker 1 (55:32):
Self esteem.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
That's seconitely two words.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
Sex tape.
Speaker 2 (55:39):
Actually four hundred, four hundred, that's going to be four.
Speaker 4 (55:48):
Hundred.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
Yeah. So yeah, So if you guys at the word
of day again, and we're in the middle of the middle,
we begin it on a month. Yeah, a couple of
days made it seem like forever.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
The facts this whole election cycle made it seem like forever.
Speaker 1 (56:05):
Yeah, but anyway, that's the that's the word of the day.
And if you call in and you get the word
of the day, not call in because nobody's gonna answer,
but the email list at Hot Topics podcast at gmail
dot com, that's p P p I X.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
Oh you are struggling today. You could have even pronounced penelope.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Penelope, penelope plant killer. Yeah, we'll give you a free
pizza at a Pizza city, Pizza City as long as
it's under four bucks.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
You know what. Thank you family, Thank you, thank you
family for listening to the latest episode of Hot Topics.
Listen my Share, subscribe
Speaker 1 (57:03):
A ser This is what O
Listening Electrified and Vilified podcast on the nest Hot Topics podcast,
Let's Get this Party started. Welcome everyone to our latest
episode of Hot Topics podcast. I'm Psycho forty eighty one
and I'm here with Lamb chop Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
And it's been a long time. Yes, I know you
missed me. God missed you.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Flona she as as we reported earlier, she's she's she
escaped custody.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, and I'm back now. Yes, you are so special,
So I let.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Them know that. You know, they captured you and you
failed the question they asked you. They asked you who
wrote this, wrote the star spangled banner? And you said,
Martin Luther, king you so much, and we hear what
You're gonna be a special co host now, Donna Marie.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Oh that's so awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Thank you God, Donna, thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hey, y'all, I feel so special.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
For specialises in the award, we'd like to use She's
good special, good special, not Psycho special.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So in this episode where we actually wanted to talk
about some.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Things, finish up, we do part two of the mental health.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
It's not gonna be a long topic on that because
we have some other things we want to talk about
as well, And when we left, we talked about your
personal journey dealing with uh, taking care of your mental
health and.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
The steps that she took to get steps that you took.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Okay, but we we left out something. Actually we covered
a lot we did.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So it was a really good show and thank you again,
yeah for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh I know what it was. We also wanted to
talk about your your we call it the your organic
recipes or the things that you you put together.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Her entrepreneurship, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Her f A R mceuticals.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Okay, all right, pharmaceutical.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Pharmaceuticals, right, which is interesting how that works out, farm
and pharmacy pharmacy. Did you you ever heard of a
word called.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Apothecary apothecary y, Yes, that's like a drug store.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah. I learned that because if we have one around
the corner, good food, vegan food, whatever. But I was like,
what the hell is that? But it's but it's a
it's an old term like medieval times or probably earlier.
And that's what, like you said, it was a pharmacy,
you know that. Felonious She's like, no, let me get
(03:04):
my my word, my word out whatever. So yeah, we
want to. We want to talk about that in some
of the things unhealthy unhealthy coping mechanisms, and we talked
about that. Recognized behaviors, we talk about that too, changing
unhealthy behaviors. Oh, this is what it was. Managing stress
(03:28):
and anxiety, which is the most difficult, in my opinion,
m only because I know firsthand I'm very I'm very
poor at it managing my stress and anxiety that you know,
I reluctantly had to reach out for help.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Why was it reluctantly.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Because of the stigma of having one. I don't like
taking drugs period, you know, and then as a as.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
A Magican, I wasn't listening, I.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Said, I was, I don't like taking drugs.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Before that, we.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Reluctantly reached out for help.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
What kind of.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Well, so the thing was, you know, as a man,
we always want to we have that that thing that
we say we can handle it. We don't need counseling,
we don't need therapy, we don't need anybody but us,
you know, And sometimes you have to swallow your pride
(04:32):
or your or your ego and you know, realize that
you can't solve everything.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, you know that that keeps a lot of
people sick.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna take the funny part
about it. This is this is how I realized. No, actually,
let me let me roll that back. I didn't reach
out for help. I just realized that I never did
reach out for help. You know what it was? It
was it was uh, it was tricked. I was tricked.
Let me tell you why. All right. So when I
(05:04):
started having these issues, I didn't really I didn't feel
like it was I was going through anything or whatever.
But I kept saying, you know, I just felt funny inside.
Something doesn't feel right inside, like my body physically physically, right,
I just this. I couldn't describe it. It wasn't like
a physical pain, but it was something I couldn't sleep't,
you know whatever, Right, And then somebody mentioned, like, you know,
you should get some but I think what they called
(05:25):
she called uh funny you know, happy pills.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay, you know I ain't taking no.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Happy pills, right. So, but at the time I also
had the back injury. So I had the you know,
really really bad back pain. So when I went to
the doctor, she said she the first time they gave
me GABA penton that did absolutely nothing. And then when
(05:51):
my doctor, my doctor's great, and she says, she's talking
to you, and she asked you all types of questions,
and I was like, I'm just angry all the time.
I was telling her certain things like that. And now
I do open up to my doctor. I tell them
everything whatever. I don't care. And then she said, Okay,
we're gonna try this medication. It's it's a this may
work when you're back and it'll help with your anxiety.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Okay. So that's how I got the diagnosis.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Of the medicine for that. And you know, she said, well, yeah,
you're you have anxiety, and you know this and that whatever.
So I took that and when I took it, I
was like, whoa, this works.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
She had the happy pills.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, this was like it just automatically made me feel
like like a person. Yes, you know, because I would
go home. This was doing COVID too. I would go
home and I was sitting the parking lot and to
sit there because I didn't want to go into my apartment.
I just would sit there. So but that that's how
I got into that. And then as time went on,
(06:54):
you know, she used to she would talk to me
about the my anger issues or things that was bother me.
And then she said, I think I don't know where
I got to think about the therapists, because I think
it seemed like at the time everybody was going to
a therapist. And I was like, all right, I'll try.
You know, I don't have nothing to lose, you know.
(07:14):
So I did and it was like a It was
like almost like a venting session. I don't think she
gave me anything that I couldn't have figured out myself,
but it felt good to unload and you know, realize,
you know whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
In a non judgmental space.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yes, yes, but even the podcast thing is is, you know,
almost the way of therapy for me. So and you know,
when I went through that, you know, I reached out
to everybody that you know, because it always comes up right,
you know, and I was like, hey, you know therapy,
you know, do some therapy. That was the keyword, therapy.
(07:51):
You know, hey, go if you need the medication. And
of course I had the mental health issues that it
was in my family, so I talked to them and
I saw where it helped and why people didn't want
to take it. So, you know, I try to relate
my situation with with them, like, you know, if it's
not working for you, don't take just don't stop. Just
(08:12):
get something different or get a different So so I
promote that now, and but I would like to not
take drugs, so I would look for alternative you know,
means so I'm not a kill person.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
But oh well, thank you, thank you for sharing that.
And you weren't tricked.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I would never have taken anything, any drugs of that nature,
except I had such bad back pain and it came
with it. But I wouldn't. I would never because some
years ago they wanted to prescribe me PAXL and I
was like, all right, I take it whatever. Then one
of the guys said, you know that's for depression. So
I ain't depressed. I'm angry, and he said and he said,
(09:01):
he said yeah. I don't know if he be said
it's going to mess up.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Your sex life or yes, it may cause.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But the other doctor was like, hey, you know it's
going to you know it's going to it may delay
your your ejaculation or whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was like, okay, on that note, we're going to
take a break for commercial mm hm, all right, we're
back you're so special it's on just chuckle, but.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That that was actually one of the benefits though, So
I mean, and you know, so I don't I don't
have an issue with it, but I just want I
want people to know that it's okay to you know,
go out there and be course be cursed.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, no, she did. She did not trick you. She
gave you an option for a problem that you were having.
Just like if you had diabetes, she would give you
an optional medications that you could take. And I think
if people started to look at mental health in that
gen in that vein, more people would get treatment. How
(10:10):
did you feel about that, Dona?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (10:13):
You know, going back to something that I said in
the last show that we did, and I'm going to
touch on this. Unfortunately, especially in the black community, we
have put so much stress on our men and boys
that there are supposed to be superman. You're not supposed
(10:38):
to show your emotions. You're not supposed to cry.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
If you cry, what you cry for your old punk.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
So you know, we do a disservice to our men
when we don't allow them to express the feelings that
they're having. You know, and a lot of times and
I don't think that we as women do it intentionally,
do We.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
We tend to.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Look to them to be the savior in every situation,
and when they need to be poured into some women
look at that as being weak, right, and then then
our men don't have a place.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
To release that.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
So, yeah, you are walking around angry all the time,
you know, because we have culturally said be a man.
Men are strong and it can handle everything, put everything
on their back. Yet women are supposed to be so docile,
so weak. So well, everybody but.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Black women right right.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
You know, we supposed to just carry the way to
the world on our shoulders, and we're supposed to.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Suck it up and not feel any kind of way
about it.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
It's like, you know, hey, suck it up, get it done,
you know what I mean, Get the babys fed. And
you know, meanwhile, we expect him to go outside and
work for the man and you know, be disrespected.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And you know, I don't know what.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
It is to be a black man in America, right,
But it's something my husband used to say to me
all the time because I have a very strong personality
and he's very quiet and reserved.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What's his science?
Speaker 5 (12:29):
Libra Okay, Libra, very quiet, very deserved. He's not going
to express how he really feels because.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
That's what he saw in his household from his dad.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
And men just don't cry, They just don't complain, They
just don't express how they feel. They just don't talk
about it. Meanwhile, I'm all emotional.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I want to talk about it everything. Oh, you don't
get it, you know.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
And then that that causes a disconnection. But when he
said to me one day, you know, you never leave
space for me to express how I feel like. I
have feelings too. I have things on my mind that
I need to express, you know. So as I go
(13:23):
through my journey with mental health, I try to encourage
him to just kind of take the step, the first
steps to say, okay, I am mad. If you want
to see somebody, see somebody and again. And I think
that you know, most medications are derivative from plants, right,
it's just a version of something that you know. They
(13:45):
don't want you to know that you can practically heal yourself.
This plan out there for everything, right.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
So.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
I would say to my you know, to any man,
but especially black men, you know, mental health is real.
And it's like she said, taking a pill like taking
it's like I have high blood pressure. I'm gonna take
that pill and make sure that you know I'm not
dead from the silent killer. So could not not want
(14:15):
to take a pill that it's going to because you
said yourself that when you took it you felt a
little freer.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yes, right, you felt a little relaxed. Right.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
I know that feeling that you felt on the inside
and is a feeling that you can't quite explain, but
you feel your heart doing something, your stomach does something,
like everything is just trying and you trying to make
sense of what you're feeling. And it's a physical thing like,
so there are natural ways to try to manage your
(14:53):
mental or for me, that wasn't enough. Okay, So the
two together seems to be working, gotcha, right? So again,
you always have to find what may work, what works
for you. But I would not say because I don't
(15:15):
like taking medications either.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Right.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
That was the reason why I had to wait off
surgery because I was a diabetic and I can receive
the shot from someone, but I can't give myself a shot.
And the moment I got to the point that I
had to call my husband, Hey, can you come over
here and help me with this shot, or ask my grandson. Hey,
(15:39):
I remember giving my grandmother her insolent. I don't want
that for my grandson. So I had to make the choice.
I knew I wasn't going to be able to lose
it on my own because I was the emotional eater,
and we talked about that. I feel like in the
back of my brain somewhere I probably legitly was trying to,
you know, just eat all of my emotions away and
(16:00):
held myself that way, just overeat. But so I chose
to do that, right, So with doing that.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
It you have to do what you it's best for you.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
But do not rule out medication. It's not the end all.
It's not the end of the world if you do.
And whoda damn who cares?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Who? Like? For real?
Speaker 5 (16:23):
For real, because some of the people did you feel
like maybe looking at you.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
In the clause that they might be on something right
or should that mental Everybody.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Is always afraid of what that stigma looks like.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
You know.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Again, like we said, what goes in the house stays
in the house. We don't want nobody to think be crazy.
I don't want to, you know, like you felt like
you was duped. I told you what my doctor did.
She was like, oh, yeah, you ain't call that number.
You called it, but you didn't follow up. I got
something for you. I'm gonna go ahead and make my
office will make the appointment for you.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
So for me it was a little different. It wasn't
I didn't care what whoever thought about me. I didn't care.
It was the fact that for me it was like
I can do it myself. I don't need that. I
know I can do it. And a man's supposed to
be able to do this, you know, because that's what
(17:18):
you saw on TV.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You know, well that's what men around you said.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yes, yes, even the military guys too, you know, you know,
put the big boy paints on the walk through that fire.
But that's that's what we did, you know. And it
was kind of I don't I don't know if I'm
want to say it was ego or just whatever, but
it was like, I know I can do it. I
don't need to be at this particular level where I
need medication. That's for people who don't have the mental
(17:48):
abilities that I have, you know, because I'm wanted the
X men, Yeah we can X that.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, but you know, I.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
Hear that, and I know that it's probably a lot
of people like that, and I feel like in the
beginning hours like that, like I don't like taking pain medication.
I don't like doing all of that kind of stuff.
But you know, for people who were you know, maybe
listening or who will hear this, you know, if you
(18:20):
know that at some point that you may not be
able to be one of the X men, to be
so strong that you can overcome everything on your own,
do not rule out medication, right because it can be helpful.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
So before we get into we're going to go into
managing stress, because this is the big part where most
people don't know how to do that or they fail
at it, right they be and me and also building
resilience in the face of adversity. So that's more or
less the cooping stuff. How do you how do you
plan on you know, how are you gonna cook for
(19:02):
things in the future. But before we get into that
felonious notorious one. Mm hmmm, I'm not a carry.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
He keeps saying he's going to add something else to
the name, Like every week you get another uh, what
is it? An adgitive adjective name. Oh yeah, Donna, definitely, yes, Yes,
we're definitely gonna give you come next time you come back,
you're gonna have a name. Yeah, Psycho gives everybody a name.
(19:36):
And one day we'll explain lamb chop. It's not funny,
yes it is.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Well, what did you have? You had the story going? No, no,
I want to want to bring the story. Yeah, yeah,
we want to hear a story.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You want to hear my story? Yes, it has nothing
to do with so it's not relating to the mental health.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Especially we can relate it.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
So if you've been on internet, I don't know, you
look at African internet Instagram, so you don't know what
has been going on about a man?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Oh yes, yes, well that's related to mental health.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Okay, all right, So this man his name is baltss
are b from Equatorial Guinea. Okay, and I've seen that
he So he had this leaked sex tape okay with
(20:48):
like with four hundred women.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Four hundred plus women, yes.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yes, like the same time, not the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, I'm with you. Listen down, I'm with you. I'm
likelid happened at the same time. Yes, so he had
unprotected sex with this women. It's not like they had
any disease or anything, but yet but still right right now,
he's like the goats like men respect him. It's like,
oh my god, like so gross, so gross. I'm sorry, Okay,
(21:24):
stop that that image is birthed in my head. So
let me see. So let me let me give you
background on this, right, yeah, because I need more info.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So like she said that it was a guy who's
in Equatorial Guinea. He's a he's a crime.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Is he a politician or something?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Politician? Right, So it came out that he had unprotected sex.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
So he was being investigated about for crime. So this
sees his computer and stuff. So that's how that's how
they found out.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Found So it was four over four hundred women in
these women were wives of wives. Most were married bosses.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yes, of the governor, general of general yeah, turned general
that god of Guinea, the pastor, the pastor, the past
the pastor's wife, the pastor's brother's wife, his uncle's wife,
the attorney general's daughter like everybody, like everybody. So it
says he's a sex yes, and he was good to Okay,
(22:34):
I for lonely is how do you know I've seen
the videos. Yeah, no, I do not, Like everybody has
seen the videos, like it's everywhere.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So it's like, so I think two hundred and some
other women were married or all.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Of like in the picture, like a picture with like
twelve people, sixteen people, sixteen people, they're about he already
had sex with like out of eight women in that pig,
he had sex with six.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
In the picture.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
So one of the things.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
So he was taking videos, yeah, but that it was
consensual because they saw him doing the all the videos.
You see that he was smiling. Yeah, all the videos
you've been you've been, you've been going too far video.
Hey hey hey stay be American.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Stay stay your lane, listen. But but go ahead.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
With it, says a report that Baltaz was caught on
sex on tape engaging in sexual activities with multiple women,
including his brother's wife cousin. And yeah, and I think
the cousin's wife was pregnant. He had the one pregnant lady.
Who does that? Seriously, I wouldn't have sex when I'm pregnant.
(23:47):
But yeah, but not outside okay nothing, Yeah, yeah, you're right,
it was about side. He was one in your years,
but he has more strength than you.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Hey, look I saw the videos. I'm not impressed. Pressed.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
It's a lie. It's a lie. It's a lie. So
it's like they've given him like men, even men have
respected him to like to call him the go to call.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Him because he has so many women only.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Perform. He took them different scenario, different scenes by the
did you see the one by the river? Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I can't be okay with this.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
So that the guy with four hundred women, right, they're
in different places, hotels, outside the car, the woods, that whatever,
so and so the thing is and this is this
is where I know where guys was like, oh, he's
the greatest because I was. And the women are decent looking,
you know, so he didn't you know.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
So. But then my my take is my take is
as a marriage, if I have sex with somebody else,
what would I let him take videos of?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Right?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
But they said, oh, well they get something out the deal,
like right, they did, they got deep and it was good. God,
I can't stand yes, Oh I say that on a
consistent basis.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Like I'm trying, like would would make me as a woman,
it's sleep with my husband's brother, like find us a house.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
That's what it must be.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Really good.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
That's what I feel, and your cousin, that's what I feel.
It was he was really good. So everybody had to
have it because the women are talent. They were literally
looking in the videos smiling. He was sure. It wasn't
like he.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Calls me they were. They were clients. Okay, he called
them clients because he wasn't the only ones that they
were actually getting serviced by. Okay, he was the one
who had the tapes, so it wasn't just him like
saying I got this one, this one, this one, this one.
These women were being serviced by different people.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
None of that makes it better.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I'm not saying. Trust me, I know this.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
These things you do when you say got all married women,
A lot of chunk of them, A lot of them.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Were the majority of them were married. Yes, but they
were so.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But it's like, all right, so if you have a club,
and I'm gonna tell you this by my own experience, right,
So like when you're in the military and you have
a whole bunch of military people and you know, advised,
different ranks, whatever, and some people go out they get
deployed overseas or whatever those same women will go to
because we knew every time we knew a unit that
(26:54):
was for detached because the base club would fill up
and it will be all the lives and whatever. So
while there their husbands was away or significant others, they
were in the clubs and that's where a lot of
the guys would go in there, and that's where they
would get their little you know, the grove.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
So he was a helper, Yeah, he was a he
was a helper. No, he was not a helper. I
feel like this is a sex addiction.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Sorry, So okay, So that's how we're going to relate
that to mental health, because those are one of the
things that somebody who has mental health issues, how they cope,
how they how it manifests.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
But how can I wonder how and his wife, pretty woman,
they have six children. So I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm
not surprised for somebody with that kind of high sex drive,
right because it's.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Not it's not like it happened like every day. This
was no, no, I'm telling you, it was over a
period of time. So there's no way you can have
sex with four hundred women.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Because you cannot doesn't mean somebody else can. Because he
cannot does not mean somebody else cannot stop making it.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
I wouldn't. I'm an upstanding man. I don't believe in
prematal sex.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So so let me scoot over here with a light
to come and strike you for that big old lie.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
But over over the course of this was some time.
But again, these were women who, like in the circle.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Somebody some people have not even have you even slept
up to like thirty women in your lifetime?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, I know, I know, I take them.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So four hundred is what you have on tape. So
imagine the ones that he doesn't have one, So imagine
in his lifetime fifty fifty four years.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
And that's reckless to a guy. To the guys just
praising them. And I'm gonna tell you this how, this
is how what they do. So in the videos they
try to emulate them, and he has a certain thing
that he does. Put yeah, he does that, and that's
what they started doing. I'm like, you know, for me,
I'm like, that's whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
The Justice Show, it's just to show who they're referring to.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
It's just you.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Know, Okay, So he does this thing so that means
other men are trying to beat him or emulate him.
So does that mean with this reckless behavior that he's having,
so he's getting other people that they're liking him to pharaoh,
(29:29):
they're liking him to a pharaoh. Okay, So my question
is is he irresponsible in that other people are going
to try to emulate him and sleep at all these.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
First, let's let's be real, there are men out here.
This is not new by any means.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Let's be real. That's some women after seeing those videos
that want to go.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
But that's not new. That is not new. That's been
happening probably since the beginning of time. The only difference
is he has the tapes. I know, and I know
people that's that's had that behavior. The only thing. The
only difference is is that whether you've had the access
to that many because that's that's a job in itself,
is being having access to different women. But if you're
(30:16):
going to you're getting women and they're in a circle
where they're getting passed around, right or service or whatever,
it's easy. It's easy to have that access. You know,
people don't want to talk about stuff that's that seems
strange or they don't think it could happen. But there's
a lot of stuff that happens behind closed doors that
nobody ever, you know, would think could happen, but it does.
(30:36):
I was not shocked by it, you know, THEO I
would never try to, you know, you know, take on
that behavior.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I'm not shocked. Okay, time to take a break.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Okay, we'll come back in a second. Okay. So, but
here's the thing he was. He was arrested for for
whatever crimes. And on top of that, he's goot in
charge for what was it, public health something that had to.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Do with Yeah, yeah, that is a public health issue.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Absolutely, four hundred women unprotected sex. Those women lay with
their husband right they get pregnant, you don't know HIV
and AIDS and some diseases don't show up right away.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
As well.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
Oh with that, and clearly, uh, he has some issues
because that's an addiction. He sounds, you know, he has
an addiction. And the women, I'm quiet kind of questioning
like why would you even want to be on tape,
especially if you're married, right, Why why would you put
(31:51):
your family? Like you would never think like sometimes when
you do these things, you think that these things, like
you just said to stay behind closed doors and then
somebody something stupid. Now you all up on the in
it at your children, your family, your jobs, like your brother.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Yeah, that's all over.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
But people do a lot of things that they don't
think about the consequences after the fact.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
So with him, he's being charged with an offense against
public health. If they test him and he's found to
have an STD, he's going to have he's going to
have that hanging over his head as.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Well with the other chargers. Yes, so now four hundred
plus it could this could easily be a thousand people
that need to go out and get tested.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yes, because again, like I said, he's not the only
one that these women have.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
We don't know that. They never said that.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
You don't have the information I do.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Well, at least the married ones, you know, could be
having sex with their husband, so at least you know.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
Yeah, and if you're having listen for real, for real
from my perspective, at the end of the day, are
you looking at you to sleep with your husband's brother,
You willing to sleep with anybody?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
That's just I look at it.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Oh, I don't want to see that. You're disgusting.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
I know dangle, will you bet.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Yeah, he got it up.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
You know he does like herifling he got the shirt off,
pulled up.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Yeah, and that's that's what Listen, he'll had time to
take his pants down.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
He got four.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Hundred, he got three hundred and someone want waits not
even down? Like, yeah, he ain't got time for all
of that. No, no, he ain't got time for all that.
He got too many women to get.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
To one of the one of the women. One of
the women committed suicide.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Oh really, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
You didn't have the information. Okay, because because her video
went viral, she actually committed suicide, got that video to
commend but at her what you call them things, her
funeral or feeling or whatever, and you know, but anyway,
(34:10):
I digress.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
But I don't trust.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yes, I got the goods. I'm telling you, you know,
you don't have no goods that I can't.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
So sad because their faces everything was literally dead there
at the camera all the time. So there's no Oh
did he tried he's pretty song.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah. So it's the the thing is, that's that's crazy.
It's a craziness. But I'm what I'm saying is it's
not uncommon uncommon. The numbers may not have been as large,
but some people, even porn stars. Porn stars have thousands.
How many did Will Chamberlain have?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Oh? Yes, yeah, he said he had a ridicul women.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
You know, and like I said, I if you have,
if you have the ability or the access to do it,
it's gonna be done, whether you don't need to have
somebody say well I saw that and I want him
In some places, some circles as easy you can. Anybody
can get into a circle where you know, you know,
if they have free sex and it's not. And it
(35:21):
goes back to the Roman days too.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Shout out to HBO for the television series Room check
it out.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
The level of specialness that you it is good.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
It is good. I'm gonna give it to you when
I don't wan DVD like it.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I don't even know where my DVD player.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
It's like almost Spartacle's like okay, anyway, yes, but thank
you for that information. Over there, just eyes all in
the phone looking at the videos.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
So I'm sorry, I just can't. I can't don't. I
don't want to. And it's like huh yeah that that
I can't.
Speaker 5 (36:06):
I'm just seeing her face in my head, and that
makes me very sad because and it's very.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Relatable to mental health.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Because what whatever it was, I mean, the embarrassment, the
shame that she must have felt, what she put on
her family. Right again, sometimes when people make decisions to
do things when they're not thinking things out, you know
(36:38):
that who could she really talk to about that?
Speaker 3 (36:41):
The like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Like?
Speaker 3 (36:45):
What is I mean?
Speaker 5 (36:46):
I feel like, are you really like are they really consenting?
Speaker 3 (36:50):
What are you and what are you saying? Off camera? Though?
To get them in front of camera.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
It doesn't take much, it does.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
I Yeah, that's just disturbing to me.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
And all of them didn't know each other. They didn't
know all of you know, like if you have a
if you go to an office, right and you have
a let's say a government office, and you have everybody
who's working every day with each other whatever, I guarantee
you within that office, there's a circle that that goes
around where people are doing certain things that you know
(37:23):
that we wouldn't know. I guarantee you.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
Out of eight women in the office, he slept with six.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
So what.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
That's half?
Speaker 3 (37:37):
So how much is that I'm working for you?
Speaker 5 (37:41):
Because I just love working for you and I find
you attractive and I want to have sex with you?
Or how much is it? Did I feel like I
have to have sex with you to keep my job?
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (37:51):
How about this? How about this? When you have you
have a society or culture where you know you can't
do certain things, You don't have that that freedom to explore,
You don't have that freedom to you know, initiate sex.
So when when you when you look, when you get
(38:11):
into those situations and you have it's like anybody when
you when you see something that's that's not accessible to
you normally, and you have the opportunity to access it,
it gets except accessed.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, but a lot of times too, like she said,
in some situations, it's especially if you know the man
over the woman is saying, in order to keep your job,
you have to have sex with me, And if she's
the sole provider in that situation, what is she gonna do?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Let me tell you you can look, you can look
on those videos. They had no apprehensions whatsoever, and they
were actually motivated.
Speaker 5 (38:47):
But like, okay, I'm getting ready to tell you.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Tell us a story. Yes, how you got or you
was so fresh you know what, So.
Speaker 5 (38:57):
This is real my you know, my sister, especially my
sister Christine, she would attest to this because this is
a true story. I was living in Baltimore. I was
in my twenties. I didn't have a job. So a
friend of mine, who at that time manage girls, strippers
(39:24):
or whatever, came to me and was like, oh, you know,
he was a photographer too, and took some pictures. So
he had said, you had seen some pictures and they
had asked me if I would dance, and you know this,
that and the other. So that said in my mind,
I don't have a job. I need to try. It
(39:45):
was almost Christmas time, the rent was due. I had
to figure it out. So I'm young. I can take
enough drinks, you know, I can do it.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
So I swear for God I could make the shit up.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
So he calls me and he says, yeah, I have
this thing going on.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
In New Jersey. Right.
Speaker 5 (40:13):
So it's like three or four of us. So we
all pile up in this car. He don't have no
damn heat. It's coldest hell outside. We in the back seat,
and we all jumbled up, mumbled up all together trying
to stay warm.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Fast forward, we get to the little place. When we
walk in.
Speaker 5 (40:33):
There, my first mind was, oh, this is some old
suspect type thing, right, this is not what he sold
it to be. So you can tell right then and
there that the expectations, but the women, the girls, the strippers,
whatever you want to call us walking through the door,
(40:55):
that it was going to be more than just dancing
on the pole. It wasn't been set up for dancing,
and you know all of that. So I say that
to say that I found myself in a position where
(41:17):
I was doing things in my mind at the moment
that I needed.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
To do to pay the bill.
Speaker 5 (41:24):
And the expectation when I walked in the door anyway,
is that that was was going to be done right,
But then.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
This is how the door moves.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
I was, so, you know how, like I don't know
if you if you've ever been a drinker, or if
you drink, like sometimes you drink and you try to
get drunk, but you just can't get drunk, Like no
matter how much you kick back, you just can't get drunk.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Nope, I was.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
I was throwing them things back and I walked past
the mirror to hit like this long this wall with
this long.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Mirror, and I walked past the mirror.
Speaker 5 (42:05):
And I kind of glanced over and I saw somebody,
but I didn't recognize that that somebody.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Was me really, but like I kind of looked and
I was just like, wait a minute, who is that?
And then I looked in the mirror again and I
was like, girl, what in the.
Speaker 5 (42:21):
And right in that moment, I knew I felt this
ain't the place for you, This ain't the thing for you. Like,
as a woman, I'm not gonna apologize. You know, I've
had a heart like you know, you know, like from
a child. So and I feel, like I said this
(42:42):
in the last episode, like sometimes when you are a
kid of parents who are not around and one is
on drugs, one cleaned across the country and your home,
that you find yourself doing things that you have to
do to make sure that you could survive.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Right.
Speaker 5 (43:01):
So I'm not gonna apologize for that part of my
life because doing that it's helped shape me to the
person that I am. But in that moment, my mentor
was really jacked up that when I look in that mirror,
I saw what they were expecting, right. That messed with me.
(43:22):
So when I see that when you just showed me that,
young lady. I was on my weight on that path, like,
who are you?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Like?
Speaker 3 (43:33):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (43:34):
Like?
Speaker 3 (43:35):
Is this going to be what you do?
Speaker 5 (43:38):
And then the crazy thing as we froze our asses
off going back, You got to give you the money.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
For the gas, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (43:48):
So you did all of these things and then you
walk away with damn.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
There less than what you should have made.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
I got in the house and I just cried pride.
I felt like I had defiled myself. I had defiled
the temple that God gave me. These people who were
there did not look at any of us with any
kind of respect because you already knew what the party
(44:17):
was before we even got there. I felt trick and
betrayed by this person who was supposedly looking out for us,
but who did not necessarily tell us what the real
setup was.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Right, So.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
My mental was jacked up.
Speaker 5 (44:36):
But then God turned that situation around because the moment
that I saw myself in the mirror, I said in
my head to God, if once you get me up
out of here, I promised, I'm never coming back. I'm
never doing this again. I'm never you know whatever. The
next day I got a call from a company that
(44:59):
my sister was working at and they were looking for
a receptionist. So I was able to get a job.
But those things they play on your mental even now
just thinking about that, like girl, but hey, you know,
it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
And I don't honestly think that people realize the situations
that women are in sometimes and are are willing to judge,
which you know, we all have glass houses things that
we have to do, you know what.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
Absolutely, Oh.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
My gosh, oh my gosh, nobody was talking about you.
Speaker 6 (45:41):
Yeah, but it does in how you described it, it
does relate to mental health as well, because from your
past experiences before that kind of guided you to where
you you know, you found yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
And I'm I'm sure sure that experience changed future you know,
decisions or relationships and stuff like.
Speaker 5 (46:05):
That, right because listen, Okay, so I'm gonna take it
a step deeper than that, right. So remember I mentioned
that my dad was on drugs, right, So when you
have a parent that's on drugs, they're absent.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
So then you have other.
Speaker 5 (46:25):
Adults around you who should have been protecting you, but
they don't.
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Right.
Speaker 5 (46:31):
So then at a young age you learn these sexual
habits that at that age you shouldn't even be thinking about, right, right, right,
because the things that were done to you.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
So then as you grow.
Speaker 5 (46:49):
That becomes somewhat of the fabrica who you are, because
now these are the things that people or those people
around you who are supposed to be protecting you, but
to doing things to you. And then when you become
an adult, it's just that okay for me, you know,
you know when I'm talking to y'all, I'm talking to
(47:09):
me because I didn't have that male figure there to
protect me, and because I had to pretty much raise myself.
Sex was a way for me to feel wanted, even
if it even if it didn't feel good.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
If that makes.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Sense, Yeah, that makes absolutely sense.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
And sad to say, sad to say, I've heard the
story more than enough times, Yeah, I have, you.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Know, because we don't protect our girls. We just don't.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
And that's that's a mental I remember.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I was.
Speaker 5 (47:57):
When when I met my husband. I met my husband
through my sister's husband because they grew up together, they
went to school, and every time that joker saw me,
I was with a different cat.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Like listen, I'm.
Speaker 5 (48:10):
Young, you know, like I'm in my twenty I'm live
in my life. I'm taking care of myself. Like I'm single.
Single people do what single people do.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Right, But I and I'm moving like a man with
a man would move.
Speaker 5 (48:31):
Oh you so, oh you're just a warres friends? Nobody
would say nothing. Oh, I'm sorry, did I break up
a my bad?
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Okay, sorry about that.
Speaker 5 (48:41):
If I was a man and I was moving the
way that I was moving, nobody would say anything.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
But because I'm.
Speaker 5 (48:47):
Single and I got two three ten boyfriends, now I'm
you know, just loose, and I'm just.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
A war and I'm just this, and I'm just that
some of it may have been true at the time.
Speaker 5 (48:59):
I ain't about anything that I've done because it's made
me who I am today. If I can go back
in time, I wish that I had the type of
parents who.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Did the things that normal parents do.
Speaker 5 (49:15):
But that wasn't the cards that we were dealt with,
right right, So my husband had someone to come to
him and.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Be like, yeah, you sure you want to marry her?
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Slowly at all?
Speaker 3 (49:27):
Yes, that's a true story.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Mm hmmm, yes, because you know, like.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
We ran and kind of like.
Speaker 5 (49:36):
Like you know, you go to the clubs, you see
the same people. You know, everybody kind of like in
the same little thing. They know each other and some
of them know what you're like. I ain't know when
I met you that you knew such and such, an
even if I did, I'm single, I ain't got nobody
when I want how I went into whom I want
to do a bit?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
And if you're in Baltimore and Baltimore is small, yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I never had that problem. I like, who's at.
Speaker 5 (50:02):
But yeah, it was just like, yeah, you know, you
sure you want to marry her because she is so promiscerous.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
She is so you know out there.
Speaker 5 (50:13):
I'm not the cookie cutter type of I guess girlfriend
and that kind of and that I ain't gonna lie
to y'all. That messed me up. That messed me up
with it did it had me. I questioned my self esteem.
(50:35):
And then that was the moment that I started to
turn to be something in someone that I am not.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Did you find yourself trying to please him or be
a different kind of person.
Speaker 5 (50:48):
It wasn't pleasing him because clearly he married me, so
he didn't give a damn about none of that.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
You know, Like, clearly he walked down the aisle, he said,
I do.
Speaker 5 (50:59):
I'm sure probably in the back of his mind he
probably did have some questions and hesitations. But my thing was,
listen on the flip side of that card, how manybody
you donna made that?
Speaker 2 (51:10):
Right?
Speaker 5 (51:11):
Don't don't don't judge me, And even if you don't
have as many as I do, still don't judge me.
Speaker 4 (51:16):
Right.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
You know what I did, what I had to do
to make my ends meet.
Speaker 5 (51:23):
Or to survive or whatever it was, that does not
concern you because you're the here and now you're not
back there, you know.
Speaker 3 (51:31):
So, But I became what I thought that my mom.
Speaker 5 (51:39):
You know what people think, like, oh, wife is supposed
to be okay, you know, like, you know, make the nice.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
Homes, cook the food, wash your clothes, take care.
Speaker 5 (51:50):
The kids, and suppress food, suppressed who I really am
on the inside, like feeling like I just can't be
free and wild the way that I am. And that's
not like talking about the sex thing. That's just talking
about who I am, the fabric of who I really am. Yeah,
I felt like that I had to change that because
(52:13):
of the view.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Of men and how they.
Speaker 5 (52:18):
Perceived me to be, and that that that's that's hard mentally,
you know. Again, the lack of abandonment drew me to
want to be around somebody. This is the longest since
me and my husband has been separated that I have
ever been on my own, like with no male companion,
(52:43):
with no boyfriends and finding out who I am and
it's the and I feel like it is the best
time of my life.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
Do I get a little lonely every now and then?
Speaker 5 (52:53):
Absolutely like I haven't been touched by another human being
in three years, and I love it.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Wow, It's time to take a break and we'll be
right back.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
So this is a handful, right, you know. You know
we'll touch on on future episodes, will you know, kind
of break it up. But thank you for your that's
a that's a good personal insight. You opened yourself up,
so definitely appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Appreciate it, Yes, definitely appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
Appreciate the felonious opening up with her freak self.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
You know it was I can't with you. I'm just
you know that that story disturbed me. Y'all think I
thought it was funny, but I found it very disturbing.
Speaker 3 (53:47):
I'm still tripping on it because I think when you
said four hundred. I was like at the Saint.
Speaker 5 (53:53):
That would have been the video I wanted to see
because I wanted to see how all four hundred was getting.
Speaker 3 (53:57):
Service at the Saint.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
An assembly line.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
Well, it sounds like he had one anyway, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
This was this was over a period of time.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
But you know what, even if he had one woman
a day, that's still like four hundred been.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Yeah, believe me, there's people out there that's like that.
Maybe not on the four hundred level, but once you
get past you know, like for me, I don't mind
is like three, but once you get once you get
past the number three level, you know you got problems.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
So h three right, so he's probably moving towards Well,
it's at least it's no four hundred right right, You
had your share, ye.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
So anyway, thank you guys for tuning in, and we
look forward to the next episode. We do have something
coming up in the future. We have the suicide prevention
and some other fun topics. We're not gonna make everything
so curious. We gotta you gotta, you know, take care
of your mental health by acting out sometimes, you.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
Know, foolishness and nonsense. Absolutely, And did you say we're
having something this weekend.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yes, so well I might postpone that because we still
got seven people. That's always and yeah, so I have
to make me content. But but we do have upcoming.
We have a wine and pasta social with a podcast attached,
so that's going to be coming up sometime soon. And
we do need a word of the.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Day self esteem.
Speaker 1 (55:32):
Self esteem.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
That's seconitely two words.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
Sex tape.
Speaker 2 (55:39):
Actually four hundred, four hundred, that's going to be four.
Speaker 4 (55:48):
Hundred.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
Yeah. So yeah, So if you guys at the word
of day again, and we're in the middle of the middle,
we begin it on a month. Yeah, a couple of
days made it seem like forever.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
The facts this whole election cycle made it seem like forever.
Speaker 1 (56:05):
Yeah, but anyway, that's the that's the word of the day.
And if you call in and you get the word
of the day, not call in because nobody's gonna answer,
but the email list at Hot Topics podcast at gmail
dot com, that's p P p I X.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
Oh you are struggling today. You could have even pronounced penelope.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Penelope, penelope plant killer. Yeah, we'll give you a free
pizza at a Pizza city, Pizza City as long as
it's under four bucks.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
You know what. Thank you family, Thank you, thank you
family for listening to the latest episode of Hot Topics.
Listen my Share, subscribe
Speaker 1 (57:03):
A ser This is what O
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