The Power of Music and DMB with Renae Lipsmeyer in Mexico

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
[MUSIC]

(00:10):
[MUSIC]
Hello and welcome to How do we deal coping with the confounding with Dara and Amber?

(00:38):
I'm Dara and unfortunately my co-host Amber couldn't be with me for this episode.
I recorded it in Cancun, Mexico for a three night Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds concert.
If you're a huge Dave Matthews fan like I am, you know how amazing this weekend is.
On How do we deal coping with the confounding we really like to get to a big topics and issues of life.

(01:02):
We like to talk about the things that happen outside our house, culturally, socially, politically,
as well as the things inside the house and inside our minds, our emotions, our feelings.
How do we deal? How do we deal with having to do dishes and laundry and all the things that make our world go around?
We also like to talk about the levity of life.

(01:26):
I was fortunate to link up with Renee Lipsmeyer, the host of The Space Between Podcast.
Check it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
I want to give a big shout out to Michelle and Paul Brown for hosting us during this episode.
I hope that you like it and don't worry Amber will be back for the next episode.

(01:48):
Thanks for listening.
Hello and welcome to How do we deal coping with the confounding?
Today I'm recording from Mexico, Cancun, Mexico, with a fellow podcaster who has one of the coolest podcasts out there.
The Space Between Podcast.

(02:11):
Please welcome Renee.
Oh my gosh, thank you.
I love how you say it's the coolest podcast because I would probably describe it as like the dirtiest podcast.
Stop it. Thank you so much for having me on what a delight and how weird to be on the other side of the microphone.
I know have you ever been interviewed?

(02:32):
No.
I mean by my friends but like close relatives but like not anyone that doesn't know shit.
So get ready to hear some shit.
I know nothing.
So two of us together, no jack shit.
It's gonna be awesome.
Thank you so much.
Well I'm happy to have you.

(02:53):
I've been following your show.
I tune a fellow Dave van forever.
I can't stop it.
I've tried.
Why would you want to?
No it's true.
I actually haven't tried but I've tried to like be a little pee about it.
You have friends don't feel so like.
Is that a day of your cycle?
Yeah.
Like do you stop in like how does this go for you?
I know where you are.

(03:16):
I know where you are.
I mean I do.
But he's not a travel agent.
See?
Like he, I, that's what I call him.
He's like my best friend but it's a one-sided relationship.
And also he's my travel agent.
But also he, it is one sided but he kind of is with you.
It's a little bit.
You're hearing.
I know.
He knows but he doesn't.
He doesn't know.
He knows.

(03:37):
No.
Yeah.
Does.
Listen, I gotta say last year I was begging for Christmas song, begging for it.
I went to four shows that year.
My last show.
It was his, his, his closer, his actual closer.
Oh well.
And I was like, he, he did know.

(03:59):
Of course he knows.
When's the last time we played the song?
I needed the song.
I had the Godfather.
He knows what he is the Godfather of know of, of what kind of music.
I mean, I guess jam that he is the Godfather of jam bands.
I'll say that.
Yeah.
He thought records.
People will say, why would you, the song's going to be 20 minutes long.
Like, what do you do during the song?
You fucking lose your mind.

(04:20):
Yes.
You go on this trip.
Or find yourself.
That's what you do.
You don't even lose your mind.
You actually find yourself.
Thank you, Dave.
Sometimes it takes five minutes.
Sometimes it takes 20.
20.
And then sometimes it takes 38 years.
And we're still looking.
And that's why we're here in Cancun, Mexico.
Try and find ourselves.
Try to find myself.
I think about 25% there.
I still have so much to find.

(04:41):
Come on.
You got your shit together.
You have to.
I like that I am putting out the appearance that I have it all together.
So that's what we like.
I want to know more about that.
How do you deal?
So you have a podcast.
Do you?
I do.
You're dropping two episodes a week just for this month.
Because I ended up in a podcast.
I'm going to be a part of it.

(05:03):

(05:34):
I need to tell someone, right?

(05:55):
Because there's not a lot of times in our life
because there's not a lot of times in our life
I am such an inclusive person that I've made up a team

(06:26):
I'm such an inclusive person that I've made up a team
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I feel like the edit is that it's everything
It can be, right?
When I started out, so I started this, well, let me back up
Why in the hell did I start a podcast?
Why did you?

(06:47):
Because well, I don't even listen to podcasts, which is funny
like I do now be with people, but I met people
I don't listen to them either
And people are like, did you hear this podcast, that podcast?
You have one, why don't you listen to them?
Exactly
So like, they've listened to like a couple of like minutes of a few podcasts

(07:09):
Like two or three, yeah, I don't listen to them
I don't either, so it was kind of dumb to be like, oh, I should have a podcast
I don't get a start of all, I can't ask, same
But like I know my strengths and weaknesses and one of them is talking
And so podcasts, right?
But like, I don't know, my best friend had started a podcast
So it was just kind of in my face, it was just like something that I had been hearing about

(07:30):
Not that I had any intentions of wanting to be that, but she had already done that
And so she knew the ropes and so I am a nurse like every other day
And that I'm not a podcast
How many hours a week would you say?
Because I know like a lot of nurses work 80 hours, crazy like nursing
Yeah, well, I mean, that's a complicated answer
Because for the most part, I've been working 40 to 50 hours a week as a nurse

(07:54):
Okay, if not more, just depends because sometimes someone call on that requires
So I have to work a lot more hours if someone calls in and I have to cover it, things like that
But I have learned that mental health is really important for me in my world
And so to back up a little bit, nursing was, nursing was really tough to get through in COVID

(08:15):
Like I was so thankful to be a health and it was beautiful
And like that's why I got into nursing was to help people
But like, no one was prepared, yeah, no one was prepared for that
And so like I look back and I think, how the fuck did I get through that?
Because it was like I can remember moments like going to work and just falling
Because I didn't want to do that
Like I didn't, I wanted to but like there was still like, I'm gonna bring this shit back to my kid

(08:40):
My husband or me and at that time when it all started people were dying
Like that's all we heard, right?
We didn't hear all the people aren't all people get it and don't die
But so like there was just such a big fear
And so like that was a really messy time
And after that, I guess, 2022
When we were really kind of coming out of COVID because 2021 was still very, people were very just...

(09:03):
Well, there's still like, I don't know people were being nervous about the vaccine
Yeah, the vaccine was gonna get you sick, we didn't know how we'd react
It was intense for all of us, it really was just because of all the unknowns, right?
And I don't think people work well when they just don't know, right?
Especially when it comes to like, your health, right?
Because I want to live, yeah, I don't know about... I want to live

(09:26):
Like I have so many reasons to be here
But I stay that to stay in 2022, I didn't want to live anymore
Like literally, like I can remember sitting in my floor in my bedroom, by my bed
And like, just being done, which is so hard to like stay because of so many reasons to be alive

(09:48):
Yeah, so it was hard to like come to that, but thankfully I told someone, yeah, see?
Which was super hard because how do you say that without staring at them, right?
Without one idiot, no
A idiot actually might be taken, right?
People might think, "chick's crazy, just crazy."

(10:11):
Yeah, there's also like, the worry that you're admitting you don't want to be here, right?
That's tough, because it almost feels like if someone told me that they didn't want to be here
Like there's a million things I would say, but also I feel kind of hurt because like, what about me?
What you want to be here with me, right?
Right? So there's that side, so, right?

(10:33):
I told my husband, and he of course realized what I needed to do, which was, you need to take some time off
And just like, you are more important, like the bills can wait.
Or you know, you can't like the chicken weight, right?
And so I took some time off, and so that made me kind of just reflect on like, what's gonna make me happy?
What's gonna get my mind off all this shit?

(10:55):
Like, what's gonna, how can I reset?
And so I was like, okay, what do you like to do?
And I like made a list of what makes me happy, pros and cons of thinking why to live, what makes you happy?
Well, I feel like if you write it out, I'm such a visual learner.
Yeah, so when I put stuff out, and like, I write on a board, or like a vision board, like, that's my GM
Because like, I can see it, I can vote in the movie.

(11:16):
More, I guess.
Is that a song verse? I feel like it is.
I see you.
That's just me. And so I wrote down, like, what makes me happy in a lot?
The first thing that came to mind was the day of Matthew's band.
Yeah.
It's just such a big part of my whole life.
Like, I don't remember a time with often.
I don't. Right?
I don't remember a time without them.
And my love for them has grown just like a family member, right?

(11:39):
Like, I don't know.
I don't know. It's just, it's a really cool relationship.
And so that was in my love category.
And so I was like, okay, well, what could you do with that?
And I, of course, I was like, well, you can't just get a job with the band or any because you're upset.
You know, like, that doesn't work.
Like, oh, yeah, I know what I need to save my life to go work for the band.
Well, that's not realistic, right?

(12:00):
Like, that's not.
I feel you.
So I was like, okay, well, what could it, could I talk about something?
What could I do? And obviously since my friend had just started a podcast, it was just kind of right in front of me.
So I was like, okay, one, I love sort of podcasting.
And I remember saying this and I know that it's on multiple like first episodes, but I kept saying, if no one ever listens to this, I don't give a fuck because it's like it's making me so happy.

(12:26):
Right?
Like, to talk about what this music has done for me, what this community has done for me.
But then also, I only have one story.
Like, there's at least 35,000 stories, right?
Of people that have been changed by this music.
And so that's kind of what I started out.
I was like, dude, I'm just going to like start talking about something to be happy.
That way I can like get in a happy place.

(12:48):
And then it just kind of, I mean, with a lot of time, I'm probably fucking work.
Yeah.
It's easy.
This stuff is hard.
Well, why? It's a lot, especially when you want to have a lot of guests, right?
You've got to find the people, you've got to reach out to them, you've got to explain what you're trying to do.
But then also, there's like that fear of, do they, if they don't even know you, can they trust you with?

(13:14):
Yeah.
Can they trust you to tell you what, how they're, what really happened, right?
Like, do they trust you enough to tell you like things I just shared with you?
Like, your lowest of your lows, like, you don't just tell a strange or that, right?
But I shared my story, right?
And sometimes when you share your story, people feel more comfortable to share theirs.
And so it's been such a beautiful, such a beautiful journey.

(13:38):
And it's, it's blowing me away.
Like, cool.
And I think this is proof of, at least for us, it works, right?
And so we just found, we found like a version of our medicine.
And, and, and talking about problems really can be helpful.
Yeah.
I don't know. This is, this has been crazy. How do I deal with all of this? How do I do it?

(13:59):
Yeah.
Well, first, I have a very supportive family.
That, that is exactly how it is happening because I have four children, 21, 18, 13, and about to turn 12.
And so we're busy, right?
Wow.
Two of them obviously don't live at home anymore, but like, they're still very busy during college.

(14:21):
And so that requires, it still requires a lot of parenting, right?
Because they don't know what they're doing.
I remember being in college and being like, what the fuck?
You're like, yay, freedom, but also like, oh, shit.
I didn't know about what all of this, right?
So there's still a lot. It's just a different kind of parenting, right?
But then the 13 year old and the 12 year old are still very like needy in that.

(14:42):
I want to be an amazing parent.
Like, I want that.
I am not like a perfect parent. No one is.
But like, I'm still trying to figure out how to even be a mom.
Yeah.
Because there are so many stages of being a mom, right?
Like, every age, I'm like, well, I've never, I've never done this before, right?
Like, even though I've been a mom for 21 years, I've never been a mom to a 22 year old.

(15:04):
So like, how am I going to do that?
Right.
I don't know.
I'm going to figure it out, right?
Right.
But like, so first, definitely a supportive family, supportive friends.
And then, and then I'll say it, you know, I, when I went through what I did with COVID and everything, I got so far into like a depression.

(15:27):
And, and because I'm a nurse, I know a little bit about medicine, right?
Like, I know a little.
Yeah.
Let's just say.
So I kind of went into, to this looking like, what the fuck can I do to myself without taking a pill to take a pill to take a pill?
Like, pill because it can become a rabbit hole, right?
Like, I have to take this pill, but it causes me to do this.
Which is so like, now I gotta take this.

(15:49):
And I'm on like, a lot of medicine and there's no shame in that.
Like, I, I'm so thankful that there's medicine to fix things, right?
Because we all have things whether you want to stay in there and we're all getting older, right?
Like, my body's rolling apart.
It is second place.
But I just really had been hearing a lot about, I mean, never want to spend around, or ever, like forever forever.

(16:11):
But for me, in my household, that was taught to be, just illegal because it has been illegal, right?
Like up until very recently.
And so when it became legal in my state, which I live in the state of Arkansas, when it became medicinally ready for people, I just thought it would be in my best interest as a nurse to study it because as a nurse, I am.

(16:38):
They don't call it weed. Obviously, I can't think of what it's called, merisol, merosol.
It doesn't matter.
We could weed your patients.
It's an appetite stimulant. There are, there are, like, the signs, it benefits.
So I was like, okay, I'm gonna educate myself.
I'm gonna like see what we're doing here because it's my duty to do this, right?
Like, I made it my job to figure it out because it is my job, right?

(17:01):
Like, I'm not a doctor, but I also am a patient advocate and I need to know if I'm gonna give you a medication, I know everything about it.
Or the most right, right, right, right?
So in doing all of that, I just really found that it's like nothing else in this whole world.
And that when used as prescribed or used responsibly, it can be a beautiful thing. It is a beautiful thing.

(17:25):
And so that has been like the key to unlock everything for me, right? Like it gave me patients when I couldn't figure out how to have patients.
It gave me more time because it slows down time because in my head, I'm going a hundred miles per hour all of the time and I don't know how to stop that.
But now I do know how to slow things down. And that's exactly how my doctor described it to me.

(17:49):
He was like, you're gonna be able to just calm down and like slow time down.
And that was so attractive when he said that to me because that was exactly what I needed.
You don't have enough time in the day.
There's not enough time. There's so much, I mean, everybody is so whole whole much going on, right? And then we add a podcast on, right?

(18:10):
Like what the fuck are we thinking? The only thing the amount of time an effort it takes.
And I can say this because I know I do the editing for our show. I have to learn how to edit it.
I don't even know what the fuck. No, I don't even have time to like make my kid like her snacks for the morning. Like I'm right.
And then I'm recording shows and interviewing people and then taking time to edit them. Like I'm at dance class. I'm on my tablet trying to edit my kids.

(18:39):
Like what are you doing? And I'm like, what the fuck away from it? I'm doing my time.
Exactly.
But then I'm like crap and we crap mom because I took away from my kid. I know that's exactly what I was about to say. There's so much feeling of selfishness in this.
Yeah, because I am afraid that that part appears in my household sometimes like mommy's doing her porn cast because obviously the kids don't get it, right?

(19:02):
No, and I'm not even for sure that my husband gets I was just going to say he does your husband. I don't get it.
I was in this morning goes, what the fuck is wrong with you? We are on vacation. You're getting up at seven. What in the morning? But this is so cool.
You're in bed with me. Oh, this is beautiful. It's like it's our time.
I know. I needed it.
And this is beautiful.
It is as important to it. Like I'm going to walk out of here feeling so fucking high.

(19:26):
Just from this conversation. Yes, from why?
Yeah, so it feels good to like share this and be a part of this with somebody who feels it who gets it. It's like it's being with your day of people. Yeah, it really is.
So tell me about your day of people. How many people have you interviewed?
I'm over 50 now, but I don't know what that number is because that's another number I have to keep up with.

(19:52):
I don't know. I don't even know how the time what episode it is, but I do know that like I think I released 80 episodes now.
It's a lie. It's a lie.
It's a lie. I don't even know that I have 80 episodes worth of space, but it's not me talking, right? Like I'm not talking.
In this podcast, I'm just the facilitator of this story, right? Right. Which is so much pressure off of me, right? Because I don't want to talk.

(20:19):
Not really. I want to hear you. Yes. Yeah. I don't want to. Yes. I have nothing to do.
But I like, I want to receive it all, right? I just love it and share it with all of us.
These stories have been so helpful. And I think because, you know, we always think like we've got the greatest, maybe not like some good stuff from our grandparents because they were so wise.

(20:40):
But really, I think it's just talking to people that have experienced with something, right? Like that's really where wisdom comes from.
Yes. They're experiencing it could be bad. It could be good. Yeah.
You just been through it, right? Right. And so, right?
It's helpful to talk with people who have literally been through stuff because I don't know if this is the way you feel, but like it's very hard for me to take advice from someone that has never done exactly what I'm talking about.

(21:06):
Right. Like whatever I'm going through, whatever the problem is. Like if you haven't done it, right?
Right. I love you for trying to help me, but I would rather get advice from someone that had literally been through it because then what they're speaking from experience, right?
Not that it's not that it's even going to be like what I need. Yeah.
But it gives you a little, okay, you've been here. You've been in these shows. You know how big these shoes are. How small they are. Right.

(21:31):
And then you can't even take the first step. Right. But I think the experience is interesting too with the podcast. We just started doing guests. I haven't dropped one episode because the shoes are small and I'm terrified to put my foot in it.
And the last season was just me and my friend. Oh yeah. Talking about our issues or anxiety age. All these things that go in now and like I guess someone who is an experienced podcaster like this.

(22:02):
Talking to me about how you're dealing and how you're doing in this is so helpful. And I think it's.
It gives me a little more. I don't want to say faith or but maybe it's courage. I don't know. I don't terrified to start doing guests because I'm like, what is your fear behind that? Like what are you afraid of?

(22:23):
Well, what if people don't want to hear from guests? I mean, I don't know why they wouldn't. But I'm saying, so you're afraid of what? What if they're judging my guests? I don't want them.
But you got to get past that and not give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I also don't give a fuck. I said the same thing to you. If no one listens to this, it doesn't matter. I won't know. I don't care.

(22:44):
I mean somehow you've got to figure out how to get to the point where like you said earlier, this is for you. So don't worry if other people are going to rescue it.
Well, like if they're they're going to if you go into it with good intentions, they are. Yeah. Because that's just what makes things great is when you go into it for a heart reason.
Yeah, and it just works. It does. So it's crazy when a minute interviewing with you. It feels so good. I go back and edit. I'm like, do people care what we're talking about again? But you're right. I just need to keep good. We back to it. I have to tell you we have like 12 interviews ready to drop.

(23:19):
And people like when Michelle asked me the other day, when is that happening? I'm like, how do you take that first step and drop that? Like who was your first guest? Well, a friend, right? So you start out with comfortable people. Right. People you're comfortable with because then, but it's even so hard. It's hard after you press that record button, but there's the safety net of being able to edit shit out.

(23:46):
And that's where I find my safety. Like there's been a lot of interviews I've done where I was like, Oh, that was a bomb. Not because of what they said, but because of me, what I thought I said or the way I handled it, but also interviewing people is, it's not hard. I mean, it can't. It is hard. Everyone is so different. So like you kind of have to meet them where they are because they're coming on your shows. You've got to make this comfortable atmosphere for them in order to open up. Right.

(24:13):
Unless we're just talking facts and figures, which we're not. Right. We're talking about personal stuff. So it's, but it's hard to make everyone comfortable and not everyone has the same.
There's all kinds of different kinds of people, right? Like they're just everyone is different. And so that's, that's the hard part for me is making people feel comfortable when I don't know you. So I don't know how to make you comfortable. Right.

(24:38):
But I don't know, I don't know how in the world to do it, but people, if they, if they've agreed to be on your show, here's where you can find some comfort.
If they've agreed to be on your show, they've probably listened to it. So they dig what you're saying. They dig the message that you're trying to like put out into the world. So they're already comfortable with you. Right. The general topic of it all. Yeah. Yeah. So and then again, there's always the safety net of editing. Right. If it, if it bombs, there's no, you don't ever have to air it.

(25:06):
I know. Well, that was the other part. I was just thinking was like, I'm going to cut all the shit out. I've already thought, well, this stuff I'm going to cut because some of it is like, it's a real conversation. I want to, I'm going to make sure that there's information for other people who want to broadcast.
Yeah. How to take that first step, and that is initially so important. But the editing part of it is the safety net. And right, I believe it's really just about taking a breath. Well, I can change this if I want to. I don't have to. I don't have to air this, but realistically, I appreciate you for doing that with me. Yeah.

(25:44):
I needed like, I needed someone to give me a thing to pick me up. It's scary. It is. It's super scary. Oh my gosh. Michelle just brought over. You can do this. She can. She words of affirmation. You got me up in a way.
Get me high. Let's talk about getting high. Let's talk about getting high. So, you know, I think a lot of people, you know, if you're if you need, I'm going to look into this. But,

(26:09):
yeah, I'm a nurse that smokes weed, which is kind of funny because like most people wouldn't think that nurses even could, right? Right.
But that's where the line is is kind of drawn between medicinal and recreational, right? Like I actually have a diagnosis. Yeah.
Yeah. I would identify my problems and I'm working on that. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. That one to recovery. Yes. You're.

(26:42):
Or I don't know, but that part of my recovery was being able to identify it, right? Like, because I was just running around.
I'm like, oh, there's something wrong with me. And you need to get a fix, but you're like, who do I even talk to about those problems?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, there are really safe ways to do marijuana without being fucked up.

(27:05):
Like, just like drinking, like having one glass versus two bottles, right? So it's all in it's all in moderation. And I say this to compare to like people that again,
those don't have never been in that world of any type of prescription or illegal drugs, whatever drugs is to you. I always tell my kids, drugs are, that's a very broad word. Yeah.

(27:27):
Because Tylenol is a drug. Let's let's be sex. Yeah. So we need to stop using the word drug as bad because funny is not it's beautiful thing.
So, scientifically proven, medically, you know, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so great. Just some of them are illegal. So, you know, but in some states, not all of them. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, I mean, cocaine is a drug. It's illegal everywhere.

(27:52):
That is true. I don't know. But anyways, I say that like again, you can take one vinegar, which is a drug. Yeah.
Completely safe. Yeah. Unless you're allergic or whatever. What's there are people that are allergic to been a drug? He's a criminal, but yeah, there are other people. Is it for allergies? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But you know, somebody everybody's different. But if you take a whole bottle of vinegar, oh, yeah, you will die. You will feel yourself or you will be very sick. I sure. Yeah.

(28:20):
So, again, it's just learning what you are supposed to do with medicine, right? And so that really has been the key and I encourage people to educate themselves before they judge. Right. And educate themselves before just educate yourself. Right.
Like, and it doesn't take, like, we live in a world where you can learn really easily, right? It's all in our hands. In your hand, you just got to want to know, right? Yeah.

(28:46):
Yeah. Big up. Big up. I love, I love weed. We have important. It's important to a lot of people. And I think people do need to educate themselves more and stop looking at us.
You know, at bad drugs, but just as you said, if you drink two bottles of alcohol, whatever it is, right?
A lot of you drink a bottle of vodka. You drink two bottles of wine. Like, you're going to be sick and you're probably going to hurt yourself at some point.

(29:12):
Exactly. You're going to be unsafe because you've taken too much. And there's such a stigma behind weed. I think some of the best, this sounds crazy, but some of the best compliments I've ever gotten, like, after I talk to people about how I feel about weed, they're like, we would have never guessed that you smoke weed.
I'm like, what the fuck would give you that vibe? First of all, is there a tie? Yeah. Is there a tie? There's no tie. I don't get, I don't understand that. But I guess there is.

(29:40):
I think that people think that there's like, you have to have like, a tie tie on all the time. And like, I don't even know what the tie is or whatever. But like, I'm like, there's not it. It's not just, you can smoke weed and not be trash.
Right. I mean, I get really fucking smart when I get high. And like, it's just, I get my life to pack and move. It is smoking weed.

(30:04):
If I need to pack something very well, I will smoke some weed and I'll just the hell out of that past. Yes, I can get some shit.
Oh, yeah. But I understand that not everyone is that way. And that's true. So like, obviously, this is not for everyone.
My husband does not smoke. He has. It makes him paranoid and makes him sleepy.
Yep. Well, it does not do that for me. I could smoke and run around the house, like literally. And it's my, it's my upper, not my downer. Yeah. Everybody's different.

(30:34):
Everyone, I mean, weed affects me differently depending on where I am, the situation, when I'm around. I'm very sensitive.
Yeah. So like, it has to be kind of like in a place where I feel safe. I really, I haven't been drinking. Right, right.
You know, like, maybe a hit of a vape, maybe a hit. I don't know. If I smoke weed, a day show, I go somewhere straight.

(30:58):
I don't know where, but I will take off to some ether world. It is crazy. That song you get me high gets me high. Yeah.
So speaking of Dave, someone had posted recently, what was it? Full in the rain. I think was a two. Did you post that song? And someone was like, that song for me all the time.

(31:25):
Or did you write? Was it you? There was a lady on my podcast that that's what I'll stir shit because she's a big, blood-bathlin fan. Yep. And so yeah, Dave played full in the rain. And she was just like, damn thing. And I love to watch people dance and get her out.
Yep. She just, yeah, she lost it. It was beautiful. So that song was like one I'd had been chasing for years. I ended up at Madison Square Garden.

(31:48):
It wasn't 22. And the end of the show. This was the second night. And the end of the show. He played that song. I was like, I was like, he played this for me. I know.
But this for a ride. I was like, try to me. I passed this was the last time he played a type thing. I always gonna play it. I would already felt into my chair like I was standing up lost my knees.

(32:14):
Just just the start of it. The mechanics of the way the band plays it. The way that he sings it. All of it is, it's like gives me chills. It takes me to a place that I'm like, oh, I'm good. I could die now.
I feel this, yeah, in like this happy, this amazing, are there any songs that give you that feeling?

(32:37):
Oh, I hate these songs. No, that's not true. That changes from time to time.
Right. I don't know. Yeah. What I've got going on that day or that month or that year. I don't know. That decade. I don't know.
Right now. I don't know. It's so funny. It's so funny how things appear even after the 30th time you've heard something and then you're like, whoa, wait a second.

(33:11):
I have heard this song. I never heard. Yes. Like I never received it. Like it was given to me that day. It was for me. Right? Like, yeah, just like the way it was for me.
God bless. I do not know. I mean, I really love Break Free. I got it tattooed on my arm and the reason why I did. Well, I mean, I love that song. It's a great song. I think it's super sexy. I like the way he does it.

(33:40):
I like a lot of things about that song the way it's performed. But this is a reminder to me. And that's why I put it on my forearm. Obviously you can't see it.
I'm just gonna show you. There's better. And it's in my forearm. It's a reminder that I have the power to break free. So I'm not waiting on anyone. Nice. I can do it.

(34:02):
And so that's a pretty good song.
And I think, you know, in general, that's the song that like a reminder to me that like, yeah, you can break free from all the bullshit. Like you have the use of power to do so.
But also, I think it's such a powerful like sexual song, right? Like, I don't know. I think that he can sing about sex and make it seem like he's not like I've never even fucking heard of it. Right? Like what do you speak of, sir?

(34:30):
Like he teaches you a new way of sex that he's ever even known. He is, he is a sexy love. I am. He is. And he, for me, he has continued to get sexier as he aged, right?
I definitely in the 90s. And now look back at Baby Dave in the 90s. And I'm like, he's like, you know, he is what a 20 year old, most like human. He has my son. He's 21.

(34:56):
Like, just quirky, like, any little guy, like running around, having fun, right? Because that's what you do when you're, you know, and into what he is now. We've, we've had the luxury of watching him grow up. Right? I mean, from a fan perspective.
Yeah. But he's gotten, for me, he's not only gotten better physically looking.

(35:20):
And I left because last night he's sitting on stage talking about how fatty is and I'm like, take it off, baby.
I like it to dad ball, but I'm like, I can't, I don't know what he's, he's spoken of his back hair, but I can't believe that.
I can now believe that Dave has a whole back full of hair.

(35:41):
And if he does, do you, you're rich, get that shit. Wow. You can deal with that. You either express that like a sweater or you just get waxed.
I mean, you say I sweater in the summer fine or someone will manage that. I'll manage that. I'll come over.
I can do, we should we just set up a service here. Do you have a member? Let's call it. I think if we just ran over to his place over there, but we have food.

(36:09):
Look, this is the benefit of doing a podcast at a resort. Yeah, we get it. It's your service here.
It is. That podcast in work. I'm so happy bringing me food. Hi.
Nice.
Hi.
Hola.
Hi.
Good morning. How are you?
All good?
All good?
Are you happy?

(36:31):
Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
I know that I'm working.
I know, but I can't practice.
When I'm here, I want to talk to everyone.
I'm very well.

(36:54):
Wow.
I know.
But I see.
So, it's a bonus to see what you say about her.
No, I said, now we can say whatever you want.
I know you would never know what you think. Yes, I know.
You want to mention what she's way back.

(37:16):
Adios.
Holy shit.
You got to finish.
I can.
I worked.
I worked.
I can't tell you how hard I worked to learn Spanish.
I moved to another country for three years.
I graduated from college with a bachelor in Spanish.
And guess what I couldn't do?

(37:38):
Speak Spanish.
Speak Spanish.
That's a while.
Is that crazy?
They still let me through.
I don't know.
There were like, here's your degree in Spanish.
And I was like, do I wipe my ass with this?
I don't speak Spanish.
But you've got it.
Clearly.
I was in a school for three years.
I told my mom I was going for three months.
It was like right out of college.
I went on vacation.
I woke up and I was like, I looked out the door of my hostel.

(38:02):
I was like, I could live here.
Nothing stopped me.
I have no job, no family.
I mean, no one stopped me.
Yeah.
And so like, I went, didn't online medical translation course.
Because that was my dream.
I said, mom, I have to move here for three months.
I played it for years later.
Did they come down into it?

(38:23):
They did.
And they're like, we get it.
Costa Rica like.
Beautiful.
If you haven't been anywhere in the world.
If you've been a million places in the world,
you have to go to Costa Rica.
Okay.
But I'm going to say, if you do go to Costa Rica,
please don't go to.
Paco, punterinas, gucito.
You need to go to like, Menu Antonio.

(38:46):
And I'm like, Montesuma and Arina.
Those are the places you want to go.
Those are the places that like, you want to feel Earth?
That's where you feel Earth.
It's, I've been, a Fiji, I've been Mexico, I've been Caribbean.
I've been my favorite place in the place I go back to every time I supposed to go.

(39:07):
I love that.
Because it kind of goes like home when you go back.
It does.
And it felt like home the first time I ever went.
And it was also like, I'm, I'm brown.
Being brown in this world that was like growing up predominantly white also.
You know, there's just so many issues I ran into people thought I was a thief.

(39:30):
People thought I was uneducated people thought like so many stereotypes went into being brown.
And when I went there, I saw people like me and like, nobody even looked at my skin.
Everyone was just like, well, that like back guys just like, how are you?
Yeah.
Like that's what I'm like normally like when I approach people in a supermarket,
like they clutch the purse or like that stuff still happens.

(39:55):
I mean, people are polar now.
I'm going to give it to them.
But it's still, but there's still a ton of racism out there.
So like, yeah, you know, I have to gently approach white people.
That's one.
My mom is white.
Like, you know, in brown people are like, why do you, why are you so up?
You know, black people are like, why are you so uppity?
Yeah.
Why are you so educated?

(40:16):
Well, that's fucked up too.
I know a lot of educated black people.
Who, what are you talking like, let's stop stereotypes?
Right.
Like, I can't believe you spoke weed.
You don't look like a person.
But the fuck does the president.
Everybody looks like their own stereotypes.
But I think they're all different, right?
Like, I know.
I love black people.
All right.
Let's talk about that.
I do.
I don't know what I'm talking about.

(40:41):
I'm only black person think of thousands.
Yes.
Thousands.
And I have a walk up a hill to go to the bathroom where I'm like, I'm gonna be like, every eye.
Yeah.
Why do you think that is?
Like, what is your opinion?
So Michelle just brought up something.
If you put in here, she's not Mike, because I only have two little tiny mice.
I'm still having three.
I wish, I don't, I don't do the makes three tiny.
I don't even know.

(41:02):
I bet that we need like 10.
We could just have like, go down.
We can't have no pop in group session.
I would love it.
Let's facilitate that.
Listen, we can zoom in.
Yeah.
That way we can do a full session.
And I would like to have a full discussion.
There's a few black people in the community who I've spoken to about this.
And, and it's hard to write because, first of all, half of Dave Matthews band is fucking great.

(41:29):
Exactly.
Okay.
I think it's a white band legit.
And Dave Matthews, I don't think he even has a color to be realistic.
He sometimes is from the south.
He's sometime from England.
He's sometime like, I don't think he has like a color or create like he's just him.
Just the guy.

(41:50):
And people like, there's never brown people.
What I see brown people, I'm like, are you like a safe brown person here?
Do you need my assistance?
No.
I'm just all alone.
No.
There you go.
I'm Carter's sister.
Carter's niece.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That you would blow some, you, that people would be getting your picture.
How funny would that be?

(42:11):
How funny would that be?
You should do that.
Yeah.
And then tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.
See how many times you show up on Facebook?
Like, I'm at Carter's aunt.
Oh my gosh.
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
#Cardersant #MichelleGround.
No one knows his real last name.
It's not like people say "Buford" all the time.
No one would even know.
Just be like Michelle B.

(42:32):
She's a very beautiful.
Period.
That's it.
And you don't even have to have a buffoon.
No, that's actually true, too.
Right?
No, yeah.
You could be like married by brother.
He's a little older than me.
He's my brother.
No, he's my brother.
Because he's in his 70s.
65, 65, 67.
So he could be my brother.
Yeah.
Yeah.

(42:53):
That's how Carter's clearly tight.
We're going to go over to his apartment next.
Yeah, and have another story.
Just going out.
We'll talk about Brown people in Dave Matthews.
I would like to have a full discussion on that.
Because it does intrigue me a lot.
A lot of people are like, it's such a jam band, which is only associated with white people.
Black people can't like jam, like, do you know what jazz music is?

(43:16):
That's exactly where a lot of, and their backgrounds, right?
Like in solo's, in playing the musicianship of his band is so,
- I feel really,secally talented, that I feel bad for people that do not love Dave.
For many reasons.
- Yes.
But a lot of people are like, I hate Dave.
I'm like, that is impressive.
I wonder no more.

(43:36):
How is that possible?
- I wanna sit down with them, right?
I would feel like I needed to challenge everything.
Okay, well what about this?
- Yeah, what about that?
I mean it is like running for me, personally.
It is like running into someone that's like, I love Trump.
I am like, I really gotta figure out your brand.
- Right.
I gotta figure this out.
- I think you're not helping me why?
- I think if you're listening to this and you don't like Dave Mathews, I think is there

(43:59):
a way for them to like get to the can-me message it?
- Oh yeah.
You know who I am.
- You know who I am.
- You've got clients who have a podcast about why you don't like Dave Mathews.
I'm open to that.
I'm in a nice way.
Not like a fight.
- No fight.
- You don't have to.
That's one less person that's staging in front of me at a concert.
So please don't.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- I mean realistically, sorry for you because your life is not gonna be as happy.

(44:21):
I mean we listen to Dave on serious all the time.
If Joy Wright comes on, the backseat, my kids, whoo!
Like can't possibly their favorite thing to do or buy you.
They just go crazy with their dad.
- I know that.
- But my mom, my oldest said to me, when it's my turn to come to a show because we're still

(44:45):
not letting it go.
- Oh yeah.
- I don't even know.
My kids haven't been.
They haven't been though.
- See?
- Yeah.
- Do they like it?
- Are they forced to listen to the, no whistle, no.
- Polarize.
- The girls, so the girls are the only ones at home now and no, they don't like it.
I think it's the game because it's mommy's, right?
Like it's mommy's thing.

(45:05):
Like they would never want to accept it.
But I know later in my, they hear it.
- No, no, no.
- They don't think of me.
- Yeah.
- They will.
And it's gonna be that song that made them think of you.
- Yeah.
- I was in a fleet with Mac now and I need to think that music's so dumb.
- I love every song listen.
- And that was where my mom, right?
- Yeah.
- I don't know, that was me.
- Yeah, I know.
- And I'm your friend, Dominique.

(45:26):
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
I'm the old swan.
- Your carter's in!
Come on!
- I can't beat you!
- You know your carter's sister has shown me.
- We do that DNA thing.
- Oh my god.
- So my oldest daughter said to me mom when it's my turn to come to a show, I'm thinking that's

(45:46):
a lot of times when I'm like, "I love Dave, but I love part of more."
- I was like, "This kid gets it."
- And that's okay.
- She knows exactly where she's at, who she loves, why she loves it.
And that's great.
- Yes.
- I love it.
- She can hear the solo happening, she can pick out.
It's almost like listening to classical music.
They tell you to do that with babies because you start hearing all the different instruments

(46:07):
that are playing as one and then they kind of solo out.
- Right.
- Similar to David.
Like, he's like, "We could educate people."
- 100%.
- 100%.
- There's so much going on on that stage, so much, so much.
And I think that's for me, that's one of the draws is, it's just so many different kinds of
music together and how many bands do you see that have all those elements, right?

(46:29):
Like you've got the keyboardist or the pianist or all of that and then you've also got a
horn section.
And then you've also got these dudes that are slaying the guitar, like could compete with
anyone in history with the guitar.
- Yeah.
- I mean, if he's not exceptional, sometimes I'm like, is that, is he playing something?

(46:51):
Like, how is he actually making those sounds come out of the guitar?
I'm never even, I don't know.
- I don't know.
- I mean, he--
- I mean, the guitar by itself cannot do it to him thus.
- He's so good and I think that was one of the good things about last night is remembering.
I think if nothing else, this highlight to him and Dave, and I'll say, it highlights

(47:12):
him Reynolds ability on the guitar because you can always hear it like if you're listening
to it, but like, damn, he is the master.
- Yeah.
- He is the guitar master.
- He is.
- Do you remember like when he used to just be like his guests?
- Yeah.
And I'd always think like, who is that guy?

(47:33):
And he'd break out some crazy soul.
I'm like, how is he not with the band?
But wait, is he--
- I could never figure out if he was or wasn't because he was like a guest all the time because
they're like the best of friends.
- Yeah, yeah.
I love their love story.
Oh my gosh.
- I love love story.
- Are you still lifting us in this?
- Yeah, I do.
- I like Taylor Swift's.
- I do.

(47:54):
- I do too.
- Here's what I love about Taylor Swift.
- Oh, and I know, I don't even know what our time limit is, but here's what I love about
Taylor Swift.
I love her.
I love her abilities.
I love all of it.
I love her.
- What I love most is what it's done for me and my daughter.
Like it's beautiful.
- She loves it.
And music is a connection.
- Yeah.

(48:15):
- Right?
Like I know what music does for me.
And Taylor Swift is doing that for her.
And so to like get in on that with her and like to be able to speak that language to her,
because that's her currency.
- Right?
Yeah.
- And so if I can go in and talk those lyrics and know all the songs and be down with Taylor Swift,
which I would be anyways, but definitely more now that my daughter is fluent in it.
It's just, it's like our thing, Mike, yeah.

(48:36):
You know, baseball is with some parents or whatever, but Taylor Swift ours.
And it's a beautiful love story.
- It is a love story, baby.
Just say you.
- I will say yes.
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, I think music is probably the closest thing to love you can get.
And that's all types of love and bringing your kids into it and having them in being in their

(48:59):
fold of it is beautiful.
- It's beautiful.
- It's beautiful.
- Yeah.
- Like Mike was a force to listen to what we listen to.
I mean, somehow, when we listen, like, it's like, oh, play Kid's Pop.
I'm like, I listen to a real song, but we'll play Kid's Pop.
That's fun.
- Yeah.
- And then we get into the music with them and up.
It does bring you closer together.
It does a lot.
You speak a language that you might not have spoken to.
- Mm-hmm.

(49:20):
- Let's keep music top of a chart for, how do we deal?
- Well, and if you can get in, those are the entryways into them talking to you.
Like, moments like that sort of, they let you in and you're on their level.
You know what might happen right after that?
They might open up about something.
They might tell you something.
- Yeah.
- And then they share a text message with you.

(49:41):
- I don't know.
- I don't know.
- Right.
- But it just gives you the opportunity to, like, that bridge.
- Yeah.
It's beautiful, I think.
- I don't know.
- And music is not for everybody.
I understand that.
But for us, it is.
- For us, it is.
I think people don't recognize how intral music is in their lives, just birds chirping.
- Yeah.
- It's sound of a highway is musical, is this, noises that can be.

(50:05):
Like, people kind of don't respect music as much.
And they think it's like something that you have to listen to.
It's all around you.
It's a hum.
I never thought about that.
The birds are singing.
- The birds are singing.
- The birds are singing.
- Every day waves are singing everything.
- Wow.
- I mean, obviously, I knew the birds are singing.
But, like, I never thought, like, there's literally musical around here.
- Yeah.

(50:26):
- That you didn't even, yeah, I never looked at it like that.
Like, there's musical around you.
- Yes.
- And grace.
I don't recite it.
No.
And if you don't like Dave Matthews, we want to talk to you about why you don't listen to Dave and you.
- Yeah.
- We'd also, if you have any tips or tricks that you can give to myself Renee for podcasting, bring it.

(50:50):
- Yeah.
- I love ideas.
- Some of the ideas that you brought to me, I'm so happy that you came to join.
Took time out of our lovely vacation here.
- This has been great.
I mean, like, one of the highlights of the trip.
Like, I like to talk Dave.
- Yes.
- I like to talk.
- I have one more Dave question.
How about people that like to talk during Dave?

(51:12):
Obviously, I think it's disrespectful.
But, on a couple levels, right?
Because we paid money to be there.
We'd like to hear it.
But then also, this is disrespectful to the artist.
You know, you know, I kind of like one of those things.
If you go to art knees and you don't touch the painting, but at a music concert, you don't fucking talk.
- Yeah.
- If you need to talk, which there are times you have to say something.

(51:33):
Obviously, you can't stand there for three hours, darling.
But if you need to say something, you go to someone and you whisper it to them.
You don't yell at it across.
- Yeah.
- You want another beer?
- No.
- No, no, no, no.
- You were like, "I've been on a line last night was, and he was a Christian."
- I mean, you were a man.
- Can you believe I dated a Christian?
I was like, "Who the fuck, nobody gives a fuck?"

(51:54):
- Somebody was just yelling at me.
- They were just having this huge conversation.
- Oh, conversation.
- Okay.
- And like, I looked back and I was like, "I can't believe he was Christian."
"Now shut the fuck up."
I just paid thousands of dollars.
- Exactly.
- In listen, I want, like Michelle and I had a brief conversation.
We realized out of the excitement that we were so loud.

(52:15):
So then one, we stopped the conversation, recognized that.
- Right.
- And two, whispered like, "We're such assholes."
Like, "Shut the fuck up, we'll shut the fuck up together."
- Okay.
- And show the show, right, right, right.
- And then back to the music, like, it does happen.
But if you're having a full conversation, just excuse yourself.
There's no reason for it.
Why did you come to hear yourself talk?
- They were in the back.
- Oh.

(52:36):
- Well, then we.
- No, just go eat, get some food.
- Just go in the courtyard.
- Don't go where people are trying to listen.
- Right.
- When people are like, "I paid money, I can do what I want."
- True.
- You can, but as you said,
- I'm a good human.
- Just be kind, always, no matter.
- It's not about you, I need the fucking time.
- Right.
Stop thinking that.
- It's about me.
- And I'm listening to music.

(52:58):
- Oh, yes.
- We did pay a lot.
- We all paid a lot.
- Yes.
- Also, just because you pay a lot to beat you,
doesn't mean that's an excuse to be an asshole.
- Right, right.
Money doesn't, it does not reserve you the right to be.
- You are not, yeah.
- Keep it moving.
- Come on.
- Take your money.
Shove it up your dumbass.
- But not everybody is a good human.
- No.

(53:19):
- And that's just the world.
- You know what I do say about Dave is that
we get some of the best of folks around.
- Yeah.
- I mean, we do get boa all the time.
- We do.
- Up humans and kindness and sharing.
And I just thank you and I for sharing so much with me.
I'm gonna be up your ass sideways from now.
- Oh, okay.
- Now besties.
- Okay, yeah, clearly.
- And I'll be checking in with you.

(53:40):
- Yeah.
- Michelle's been popping in this conversation.
- Thank you, Michelle, for hosting us in your beautiful room
where we can see the stage.
- Oh my God, it's awesome.
- And I'll be up here tonight for Soundcheck
because I can't wait for tonight's song.
What do you want to hear tonight?
- Oh.
- Ray Craig.
- I mean, you.
- Yeah, I do.
I just want to hear Dave.

(54:01):
- I don't know.
I really am down for anything.
- Yeah.
- I really am.
- You just have the beauty of it.
- Yeah, just for sure.
- I'm just a good person.
- I mean, he's like, you know what?
- I need that.
- Because it is all about, he does.
It's all about us and he knows it.
- Oh, I don't know how.
- He's magical.
- He is magical.
And I'm just, I'm thankful to be here.
It's awesome.
- Well, thank you for joining.

(54:22):
So this was, how do we deal with Renee?
If you get a chance, please go check her out
on the space between anywhere you listen to podcasts.
We also, I'm sure I'm going to have her back.
So I have many more questions.
And this is too short of an interview.
And it is a pleasure to be with you.
- Thank you so much for having me on.
- Thank you for coming.
- For sure.

(54:43):
Guys, be sure to check it out.
Yeah, it's space between podcasts available on everything.
And then also social media's if you want to see who's up.
If you like the Dave Mathews, man.
I guess it's, I mean, yeah.
You could give up the Dave Mathews, man.
But even if you don't, if you want to hear about connections
that people type of things, it gets really the story.
It's not, it's really not about the band.
It's about people to follow them.
And what they've, what they've gotten out of this music.

(55:04):
And so it's a beautiful story.
So be sure to check out.
Well, thanks for coming.
- Hmm, hmm, see you soon.
- See you soon.
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(upbeat music)

(55:28):
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[MUSIC]

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