Bed Rotting

You’re not bed rotting. You’re doing great, sweetie. Amanda and Melissa discuss the social media phenomenon of naming everything to be a negative mental health issue when really bitches just tired.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You know, Amanda, I feellike everything having a definition now. I
think that every time I look atTikTok, this lady's in here reading me
for filth, telling me all ofmy mental health problems. After I sent
that one to you yesterday, thealgorithm was like, we see this content

(00:23):
resonated with you, Please let ussend you more. And then this one
today was about the way that yousleep, and again all of the things
that came up about my sleeping habits. I was just like, oh,
now I have this problem too,so broke it. The thing is,

(01:04):
you're a sleeper. I have sleepingproblems. You sleep. What hoops of
sleep do you have? Well?I can fall asleep fine, and I
can fall asleep like at a regulartime. It is the nighttime waking,
and then before I can fall backto sleep, it is the catastrophizing,
like all of the intrusive thoughts happen, and so then I have a hard

(01:26):
time going back to sleep. Butshe was showing like clenched hands, like
waking up with clenched hands, wakingup sweaty, sleeping in what she called
a mountain climber pose, which ismy preferred method of positioning in bed.
All of these things are representative ofor being stuck in flight. So the

(01:47):
last one I have also the freezeissues with my central nervous system. And
now, according to this lady,also, I'm constantly stuck in flight mode.
Okay, everything you just said.Falling asleep just fine, but staying
asleep, waking up and then thinkingabout all the shit you have to do,
and then think about how all thosethings are gonna go wrong and how

(02:07):
we are not gonna make it.It's gonna be real bad, or it
could be good, but it's gonnabe real bad. And then that mountain
climber pose or whatever it is Ihave. I have all that, and
this is and this is, andnow I've come to the place where I'm
gonna say I don't think everything shouldhave a definition. Because you sent me

(02:27):
that one. I mean, I'mpulling it up right now. Oh yeah,
last night. So we can discussthis, because I am certain that
other people need to hear this.And you know, sure, bed riding
that's the one we're discussing. Yeah, uh is real. But also we're

(02:49):
not doctors, so take this forwhat you will. I think that we
are are are busy working over stimulatedlong time married women, mothers, wives

(03:09):
who are just tired, and Ithink that's allowed. Now I can't after
a long day at work and havingmy teenager cuss me out, and having
my second grader. I shouldn't evenhave a second grader because I'm fifty eight
damn years old, be upset becauseshe got a seven out of ten on
a spelling test that we studied reallyhard for every day, four hours at

(03:30):
a time. Now I can't justlay down in the bed without it being
laying in the bed. It's justlaying in the bed. I'm laying in
the bed because I'm tired. Gooddamn. Why do I have to have
all of these central nervous system problems? Why do I have to have a
burgeoning mental health breakdown? I'm justfucking tired. I just want to lay
down. Why am I bed rotting? So I think the first question I
would be interested to know, Andif you feel so inclined and you're listening

(03:53):
to this and you want to shootus a DM and tell us if you
do this too. Because Melissa andI were talking last night after I sent
her this TikTok, and it wastalking about all of the things that people
can do when they are chronically ina It was oh what did she say?
It was, what does it sayon the thing? Functional freeze?

(04:13):
Okay, So when you're in afunctional freeze, it means that you can
go to work, you comparent yourchildren, you can schedule the appointments,
make lunches, get through your dayand be fine and nobody sees anything is
going on with you. But thenwhen you get home, you chronically sit
in your car for minutes, maybea long time. When you get home,

(04:34):
before going inside your house, youbed rot, which means you stay
in bed. You don't want toget out of bed. Especially on weekends
like Saturday. You could spend themajority of the day in your bed,
overstimulated right with like smells and sounds. I can't help it. That's the

(04:56):
nose I was boring. But bedrotting specifically, like the minute that my
kids all of their needs have beentaken care of. They've been fed,
and they've been you know, they'rehome from activities, they've showered. As
soon as I put that meal onthe table, and they're all good.
That is my cueue to retreat tomy bed, and that is where I
will stay most of the nights untilI wake up the next morning. Correct,

(05:23):
But I think that's normal. That'slike my reward. I wake up
thinking about that specific moment that Iget to have at the end of the
day. And well, that's whatI'm saying. I don't understand why everything
has to have a negative label oreverything has to be, you know,

(05:49):
some kind of mental health struggle.I feel like if you did all the
things you needed to do out inthe world and for your family, so
you know, you went to work, you unloaded the dishwasher, you made
sure you planned all the meals forthe week, the children are bathed like

(06:12):
super clean, short nails, bellybuttons, not dirty, behind the ears
clean. Actual. I am ahighly functioning person. My shit is together.
You wouldn't think anything was wrong withme and so, but to be
highly functioning is also to be tiredat night. So I don't know why
getting in the bed, which isa normal reaction to being tired from doing

(06:35):
all the things, should be calledbed riding. That's where I'm at.
And if it is listen that shitresonated with me. Do not get me
wrong, it did. I havebeen in go mode for a long time
now and it did resonate, butI also was like, why should I
feel bad if I wanted to laythe fuck down? Sometimes I have zero

(06:57):
qualms with it, and then sometimesI do feel guilty. Last Sunday,
I bed rotted the entire day,And I don't know if it was just
like I My kids didn't go backto school until Thursday this week, and
they have been out of school sinceDecember twentieth, So I don't know if
I just like finally hit my breakingpoint because the week hadn't been particularly hard.

(07:19):
But I spent the entire day inbed, and then I got to
the end of the day and Idid feel a little bit bad about it
for not having been productive. Andsometimes I will have at least one day
in the weekend where I will stayin bed, maybe until two. But
you know, I don't get dressed, I don't shower. I like,

(07:41):
don't I don't do any dude,know what I mean? Like? Why
is is that bad? What didpeople do on their weekends? Like if
I don't have to take my kidsto a game or to an activity or
have to be someplace, I mean, I think it's always bad. If
I think it's only bad if youlabel it as bad because laying in bed

(08:05):
all day and resting to me,sounds like self care. To me,
it's you're recharging your batteries, right, recharging your battery. Maybe I got
up and took a shower. MaybeI did all of my skincare, but
I did it slower and better,and I applied way more shit. And
now I'm laying here, my skinis wet with skin care, and I'm

(08:28):
reading a book. I'm eating ahigh protein snack. Man. Fuck y'all,
I'm not gonna feel bad about this. You know, Well, first
I think that this is what happenswith me, and you is me and
you just drop them in a conversation, they're like, wait, wait,
wait, what's going on to findbed rotting? So I think bed rotting

(08:52):
only exists actually on social media.That's another that's another layer of the problem
that we have to address. Yeah, I think it's not a real word.
It's not a real term. Ithink it's only it's a TikTok trend.
It is a TikTok trend. AndI think it is only a problem
if it interferes with your life,right, right, And so if you're

(09:15):
highly functioning, you got up,You washed your ass, you wash the
dishes. Your children have clean mouths. Your children are respectful to their you
know, their teachers and other membersof authority out into the world. And
then they come home and they eattheir fucking dinner, and they do their
fucking homework, and you clean thetable, and you, you know,
you fire up a Netflix while youfold yet another load of laundry. You're

(09:37):
a healthy, functioning bitch. Okay, you got your work done, and
you deserve to take a long,hot shower and lay the fuck down.
I don't understand why we're making thisa bad thing. Now, if you
are bed rotting and you don't gotno kids and you ain't doing nothing the
fuck else, that's different, youknow what I'm saying. Hold On,

(09:58):
let's say let's see what bed rottingis is the definition of bed rotting is
bed rotting or lying in bed?First of all, lying in bed needs
a definition. Okay, I thinkit's like the act of like prolonged time
in bed that's not sleeping. Butthe other piece of this for me specifically,

(10:22):
and I think that you're the samekind of mom too. I'm a
bedroom mom. So if I'm homeand I want to relax and watch TV.
I do it in my bedroom.But there are some moms who are
living room moms, and when theywant to sit and relax, they sit

(10:43):
in their living room. Well,me, I'm a hybrid. It just
depends on who the fuck is botheringme. So you know, if I
take a shower, First of all, I can't be in my bedroom without
my shower. So if I've takenmy shower and done my skincare, I'm
laid up in the bed. That'sit. I don't know what are you

(11:03):
looking for? What's in here thatyou need? There's no more talking to
me. Once I've retired to thisarea. My kids will come in,
but they'll lay down and hang out. Yeah, they can come in.
They can sit on the edge ofthe bed and ask that a little question.
But y'all got to go. Thisis a sacred adult space for real,

(11:24):
though. Y'all don't see unless Icall you in here to do something.
Bring me that remote, bring methis glass of water, or whatever
it is. Y'all don't need tobe back here. What y'all need to
be back here for. I'm backhere for you. Mine are allowed in
if they have an iPad or aphone with them and I'm watching something or
reading something. They do need tohave headphones, and it does need to

(11:46):
be low because Lennox will come inwith whatever it is he's looking at,
blaring loud and when a land bedwith me, which is fine. You
can come in here and lay,but don't be disruptive. You can come
in here and lay, but it'sgoing to need to be silent. Yeah,
you can come in here and exist. I like that, want to
cuddle, but you're not coming inhere talking and asking for things. That's

(12:07):
crazy. Then I go in yourroom and start asking you. For sure,
I wouldn't do that. So theWikipedia definition of bed riding is or
lying in bed. This is howyou know we're i idiocracy. I'm giving
you the definition of lying in bedis a phrase for a social media trend

(12:31):
wherein a person stays in bed foran entire day without engaging in daily activities
and chores. Participants commonly spend theirtime on their computer or phone. The
behavior may have a negative impacts inindividuals experiencing depression. Okay, so like

(12:54):
if I load a dishwasher unloaded dishwasher, does that exempt me from the bed
rotting? Correct, not completely useless. And that's what I'm saying here is
it's bed rotting. If like yourquality of life and the quality of life
of the people that depend on youhas now diminished because you cannot physically get

(13:20):
out of the bed, you areactual rotting in bed. Okay, well
then we're good. Correct. Sothis definition that the lady said, she's
like, you're functioning, and youdo all these things and and and you
went here and there and then andyou fulfilled all your your obligations to the
people in your life, and thenyou go home and you scroll and you

(13:41):
lay down. I'm like, thatsounds like tired. I don't. I
need to block her now because shekeeps showing up, you have to block
her. I had to block oneof them too. There's a really pretty
lady that talks about ADHD and Ihad to just block her because the shit
she's talking. I'm like, girl, bitch, that sounds regular as fuck.
What are you talking about? Andso I'm tired of I'm tired of

(14:03):
being told I have these mental healthissues when the reality is all you motherfuckers
are clean and fed. Okay,I am clean and fed. I haven't
shot up a school. I haven't. I'm serious, I haven't. I
haven't. I haven't laid down inthe fucking you know, automatic doors of

(14:26):
a seven eleven button neck. AndI am fine. And I know the
more you say you're fine, You'renot fine. Sure there might be some
problems, you know, but hedoesn't. As long as the kids don't
have cavities, and the kids aregoing to school and the kids have you
know, a vegetable twice a week, I think I'm fucking doing great.

(14:48):
I'm killing it. I am.And you know, I start to like
sometimes really internalize these ideas that somethingis lacking or something is wrong, and
then I'll go balls to the walland try to fix them, you know,

(15:13):
But then I still feel completely thesame, like normal in my body.
I don't know. I don't know. I I think social media probably
is one of the worst things thathas happened to our society. Don't get
me wrong. I love this shit. Oh yeah, same, but yeah,

(15:37):
it is problematic. Yeah. Soif any of you out there are
reading this and you got all yourwork done for the day and then you
came home and took a shower andlaid into bed, I don't think you're
a bed ridder. I think you'rea tired lady, and I think you
know I love laying in my bed. Me too. And my husband judges

(15:58):
it. Actually he's he doesn't understandit. He's never understood. And the
thing is, before bed rotting wasa term, I've been doing this shit
same. So when he when hecomes home and he wants to relax,
what is his How does he dothat? I don't know, correct bus

(16:18):
saying, I don't know that JustinBeck can relax. That's not a thing
he does. M And then whenhe does want to, he wants to
do it in a codependent way.He wants me to do it with him
his way, and I'm like,I don't want to watch that. Yeah.
Also, all these lights are fuckingon. Turns off? Yeah,

(16:42):
you know what I mean. Ican't relax. There's there's dishes in the
sink, so handle that and thenwe can go relax. He wants to.
He wants to have his back raked, he wants to get chills while
he watches some period film that Idon't want to fucking see with all these

(17:03):
goddamn lights on. That is notrelaxing to me. I want to be
alone where you are, So howare we going to solve that? You
need to just do like a timedlike just a show, like a quick
twenty thirty minute show and then retreatto your specific area to relax or half

(17:25):
and half. I can't. Ican't do anything. I can't watch anything.
I like with him on do youhave a show five minutes? Do
you have shows that you can enjoytogether? Is there like a certain genre
or something that you can do andit's enjoyable together. We haven't gotten We
had them. We had RuPaul's DragwayRace, we had Game of Thrones,

(17:47):
we had Breaking Bad, But wehaven't found something that we both really really
like. In the past couple onesthat we have seen, we've been disappointed,
you know, like we got involvedin Servant. We're like, what
the fuck happened there? So nowwe're like scarred from a couple of bad
expirit We watched that Ao shit andit was like girl really but he judges,

(18:12):
Babe. I've never seen a personjust want to lay down all day.
We have the whole day ahead ofus. Do you want to go
here? Do you want to gothere? Like right now? He was
like, well, when you're donewith your podcast. We'll get up,
we'll take the kids to X tohave food. Then we'll go to Ikea.
Then we'll go to Da Da Da, then then then then and then
Jade and Noah and Tristan are comingover for dinner. I'm like, girl,

(18:36):
the plan is I went to thegym. I'm gonna record my little
podcast. I'm going to do alight cleaning before our guests arrived for dinner,
and then dinner is the plan.That's it for me? What are
you talking about? Go here andthere in all these places and then host
people. I gotta sit down,do you? Is Ikea like you have
to go for something specific or hejust wants to go to go. He

(19:00):
likes to just be in there.See I Kia is stressful. I like
it. I do, But postpandemic, they haven't. It hasn't been
the same, so I don't loveit the way that I used to.
I used to love to go inthere once a month and be in there
for two and three hours and lookat every motherfucking thing and then leave there
with a bunch of shit. ButI'm now in my minimalist phase of life

(19:22):
where I now maybe I do havemental health issues. I don't. I
can't deal with another item. Ican't manage another item. I don't want
another item coming in here. Idon't give a fuck. If you only
have one shoe left, figure itout. I don't want that shit in
my face. No, I amthe exact same. We had to because
we had work started on the bathroomthis week. That meant that I had

(19:45):
to finally go through and deal withlike the twenty five paint cans that were
stacked in the doorway leading into thebathroom. I had to like vacuum and
dust and move stuff. I hadto clean up my laundry room, which
is just like the drop zone forall the shit that I don't know what
to deal with. Yeah, that'smy Wow. We really need to like

(20:08):
be on this and then very quickly. What can happen in those moments,
like when I go on a cleaningtear, is that the garbage bags just
start flying and things just start gettingthrown out. And I'm kind of feeling
like I'm in that place right now. Like before we came down here to
record, I stepped into both ofthe boys bedrooms and looked and I was
just like, they are I amuncomfortable with the amount of items that are

(20:34):
in there and there they don't evenhave a lot of stuff. But I'm
feeling the itch to just start throwingstuff away because I can't. I can't.
Nobody, nobody here has a lotof stuff. Because the way this
house is set up, everything musthave a home, or else the house
looks crazy. Everything must have ahome, or else the house looks crazy.
And everything pretty much has a home. But I just don't want to

(20:55):
manage. I'm tired of managing littlepeople's stuff. I'm tired of managing my
stuff. I just I I reallyenjoy only functional items. So if this
house has a table and a chair, I'm down to the point where a
brugg is doing too much. Ican't. I'm dealing with another item.

(21:17):
It's just another item. I wanthouse plants, yeah, furniture that is
used, an ability to have coffeematching silverware, and some black sweatpants like
that's that's That's where I'm at.You know. I purged my closet and

(21:37):
I realized I have so many thingsfor just in case I go somewhere where
you guys are correct as a personthat doesn't want to go anywhere? Why?
Why? I did you really?Like? What'd you do? Take
it to Goodwill? Did you putit on Poshmark? Like? Did you

(21:59):
really get rid of it? Ordid you just store it away? It's
in three giant black garbage bags.And when I get the energy to remove
them from my trunk, I'm gonnajust drive around with them motherfuckers for a
minute. Then when I get theenergy to move them from my trunk into
a box, where am I gettingthis box? And then spend fifty dollars
on each box to send it toKira will love it all. She'll love

(22:22):
it all. She'll cherish it all. She is a collector of fashion items.
And then I can then vicariously livethrough her enjoying the items. So
I'll go on her social media andI'll see, Oh she wore that outfit.
Oh that's cue, Oh she didsomething with that. Okay, that
will bring me joy. I justgotta get the boxes and the tape and

(22:45):
the time and the energy to doit, and I will. But like
even with the purge, you wroteme a note, I could do your
hair. But I'm in the middleof something, are you? Are you

(23:06):
in a rush? You're leaving Okay, bring the hair items. I'm sorry,
Amanda, we have to take abreak. No worries. Do shear
his hair? Bring the items.Please not passed me a note while talking.
Girl. Read it. It's ademand of you. Weren't we just

(23:32):
talking about this? Yeah? Iknow, my kids are. I mean
I think that this is the thisis the problem for all moms you know
who have a live in spouse orpartner or whomever they have with them helping
with these kids. Because I've saidup a million times my hair could be

(23:52):
on fire and I'm juggling chainsaws andone of my kids will come up and
be like, could you open thissqueezy fruit for me? Real quick?
Exactly? Your dad's right there doingnothing. What do you mean, mind
you, her hair is perfectly pretty. She could have just brushed it and
worn it down. Okay, what'sthe style, mommy? Two low braids
worth hairs on top, two lowbraids of hair on top. Okay,

(24:22):
So let's get her to where areyou going? And to go to get
and charger. I'll coke going intomarshmallows. Oh you have a nice day?
Plan? Is Sean going with you? No? But she don't come
make up for fun. Oh okay, why doesn't she just go with you?

(24:45):
You, Daddy and Selan could havea nice day. Walmage is at
drama class and I don't know you'retrying. I like these hair, Okay,
two braids is a is a.There's a l a lot of hairstyle

(25:10):
for while I'm doing something. Thenext time. Maybe Daddy could do this.
He doesn't know how. He's reallybad. Are they French braids or
just regular regular braids? Daddy's reallybad at hair. Yeah, he doesn't
even know how to do Okay,he doesn't even know. Okay, Kay,

(25:36):
why don't you convince Shalom to gowith you and you guys have a
nice day out okay, okay,grab some lunch until Daddy when he sat
it? Did you guys end upat Ikea? Go to the ch Asian
supermarket? We need toilet paper?Okay, so he correct, That's why
I just said go to the Asiansupermarket. Kay, Amanda, You remember

(25:57):
when he did cat go by himselfand he bought the wrong single plied toilet
paper. Are you out of itfinally? N It was like six months
ago. We're finally out of it? Oh, bless, because remember I
got the Hello Kitty toilet paper fromme and I diell girls this was their
toilet paper, the shitty toilet paperfrom Costo. Yeah, that's why.

(26:17):
She was just like, can wehave Hello Kitty? Our butts are raw
and chap Yeah, so go telldaddy to get two Helloicade pass one for
your side and one for my side. Okay, because we're down to our
last roll and that just the dudecannot abide. Yeah, girl, exactly,
who love you? The chapstick onthem and chuck this door? Thank

(26:40):
you? Anyway, where are weat? We were what were we talking
about being tired having children? Yeah? Yeah that that she here came on
for a brilliant demonstration, not thenote. I have to take a picture

(27:04):
of the note so that you guyscan see. I mean, I don't
know. I think social media isuh moderation. It's making us feel like
we are experiencing the human condition,and I'm like, I'm over that,

(27:29):
you know what I mean? Like, I don't hate follow people, No,
I don't, fucking I mean,I guess I hate follow the whole
internet really because I log on andlook at the ship and go why why
why? I don't know you knowwhat else I don't. I don't even

(27:49):
enjoy positive content. That's how,you know, I got to just log
off. You mean, like positivecontent on social media, or like positive
news in general, positive content onsocial media. Yeah, I don't want
to see that in just thirty daysif you do all these exercises, bitch,

(28:11):
I can't. Yeah, you know, well, in this time of
year, with that kind of content, it's I feel like it's everywhere,
and it's so easy to get,you know, caught up in that cycle
of you know, Okay, it'sthe new year. I have to make
all these changes, I have todo all of these things, and then
I get overwhelmed with thinking that Ihave to do all of these you know,

(28:33):
new things and build all these newhabits that I just got to get
to June. That's exactly where I'mat right now. What are you talking
about. I purged my refrigerator,bleached it, wiped it all down.
It's empty, and I don't wantto refill it with food. I wanted
to stay empty, but there arethese children that need to be fed.

(28:55):
And I'm like, you know,I purged my closet, and I believe
that I have just items that Ilove. So it's like I think that
I'm in the I'm in the overwhelmedslump portion of this year, and we're
now two weeks into the new year. I think that can all end now
well, and it's just easier tolay in bed than actually deal with it.

(30:53):
Do you think that? Do youfind? Do you find that would
you take a social media break fromposting or would you take a social media
break from posting and looking posting andlooking? It has to be both,
yeah, or else you're not ona break. And I don't need to
post, you know what I mean? Posting is like you know, when

(31:14):
I do, it's just like funfor me, and I'm a posting go
so I won't even see the responsesto this shit until like way later I'm
like, oh shit, yeah,okay, that was cool, But then
I forgot, you know, thething that I'm posting about. But I
could, I could? I couldstop posting? Is it? I could
I stop looking? That's different?And I also think you can't take a

(31:38):
social media break and say you're goingto take a social media break. So
I already fucked this one up.I can't take it now because I just
said I won't take it, yeah, to just go. Nobody gets it,
like when people leave and they're like, hi, everybody just want to
let you know that for my mentalhealth, I'm taking a break and I
won't be in here any once,like like oh, just Selena, just
log off, like we don't givea fuck. Every year Selena Gomez goes,

(32:01):
oh from a mental health No,it's not for your mental health,
because you got fucking you gotta fuckingate up, he said to step shit,
it was embarrassing, and now youhave to take a break. Girl.
I don't give a shit what youdo. I don't even know why
I don't like her. I can'tremember. Everybody in the discord has to
remind me all the time, andnone of us like hers. We've all

(32:23):
found each other. I don't thinkthe girl's done a thing wrong. I
can't remember. I don't know anythingabout her other than me. She used
to date Justin Bieber, right,she's the one correct. That's the defining
portion of who she is. Sheused to date Justin Bieber, and then
she also took her home goes Kidneyand didn't say thank you something like that.
That's right, that's right. Iknow we're not allowed to say that

(32:49):
she's also a close talker. Thosearen't things you can hate somebody for.
But like, I don't know asingle song she has, there's no reason
for me to do this. Lady, I don't know shit about her,
but I don't like her. Isn'tthat fascinating our relationship with celebrity where you
could just decide, I don't know, I disagree, I don't like that
person. I don't like that person. You know what? I think that

(33:15):
the vibes that I get. Youknow, I'm pretty spot on with being
able to read somebody and determine whetheror not I think that I like them
or don't like them. So I'mno longer you know, distrusting my gut
and giving people the benefit of thedoubt. That doesn't mean I'm going to
be mean to you. But ifI don't like you, I don't like

(33:37):
you, that's okay. Not everybodylikes me and that's fine. Let them
not like me correct and that's themost liberating shit, I don't care.
That's my new thing for twenty twentyfour. I heard that the other day
and I was like, yes,let them, well, welcome, You'll

(33:57):
love it here, you will,you will and the nights are quiet.
But oh well, I don't youknow what I'm saying, Like I don't
have and I don't even know whenit started. And that's not to say
like I don't I don't need anyvalidation. You know, I would be
upset if Justin Beck didn't like me. I'm like, what the fuck of

(34:19):
your friends? I would be reallyupset. But I also like even I
don't even know how long agough itwas the second that I turned all of
my social media private. Yeah,and it became just a space for If
you fuck with this, that's great. If you don't, you can leave,
that's perfectly fine. It's not aboutyou know the numbers and the totals.

(34:46):
I don't need to know that Xmillion people like me are two thousand
people like me or one hundred andseventy two people like me. I don't
give a shit. This is athing where I put my moving thoughts and
and I go on about my business. If you fuck with it, I
think that's great. If you don'tthat, that's fine too. That shit

(35:08):
when I went and I think Iwent private, like a really long time
ago, m hm, decades,even two thousand and six. Maybe that
is the most liberating thing, becausethere's no reason to perform for consumption.

(35:29):
You should perform for the love ofYou should just like to do that shit.
And if you like to do thatshit, you do that shit.
It doesn't matter who likes it orwho sees it. Don't get me wrong.
That's not to say that you know, uh, a check wouldn't be
nice, but like you mean ablue check, No, I mean a

(35:50):
financial Oh you've been a check check? Yeah, fuck a blue check.
I don't even give a shit abouta blue check. They didn't want to
give it to me. For allthese years. I was like, Okay,
I guess girl, you can't evenhave a blue check and be private.
Oh really you have to get outhuh, which is crazy? Think
about the message at that sense.You are not a notable person that deserves

(36:13):
to be verified if you don't feellike sharing with everybody. What wow.
Yeah, that says a lot aboutwhere we are in our society. But
like I think, for twenty twentyfour, it's great and you and I
you know, in our private conversationsyou've already been so liberated where you're like,

(36:34):
okay, well that's not something thatI have to do. But if
you are back, great, I'mtrying. I actually went against that today.
Chris was asking me about something andI was like, well, after
I had already said no, I'mnot doing that, and then I had
second thoughts and I was like,Okay, in this space, Amanda,

(36:54):
I think that you're going to haveto do this. So I made the
decision to do it. And hewas like, can't we just be our
own people and just say no?And I was like, I think for
everything else, like we can keepapplying that to our lives. But I
was like, in this case,I think we have to be a little
bit flexible with that boundary. Hewas like, oh man, I love

(37:16):
boundaries. I love enforcing boundaries.I love being in the house. Dude,
I'm gonna say I sometimes like beingunliked. Gotta be real with you.
I when you have a teenager,you gotta better get okay with that

(37:37):
feeling. And so am I alright, I don't it stings And Quinn's not
even that mean. But like,we were at dinner last weekend and oh
my god, all of the kidswere roasting Chris so hardcore and it was
so funny, and I just keptmy mouth shut and I was laughing and

(37:57):
having a good old time, andhe was starting to get really bothered by
it. And then the other day, Quinn and Chris were roasting me in
the morning before school. I'm justsitting there having my cup of coffee,
but they both feel the need topick on me. And I looked at
her and I was like, no, I'm sorry, your loyalty is to
me. I don't understand what thelike we roast daddy together. It doesn't

(38:19):
it doesn't ever flip flop. Andshe's like, well, he is right,
though I like it does flip it. Unfortunately, it flip flops go.
It's terrible. I don't love it. And then the problem is I'll
respond, and now I've hurt feelings, you know what I'm saying, Like
I am the Cat Williams of thishousehold, Like, oh now I went

(38:42):
too far. Now you didn't likewhat I said, But what I said
was it true? Okay? Thenand then nobody wants to hang out,
and now everybody's feeling alienated. Ido I think I should just get a
herm and wear a zoot suit andbe Cat Williams, because oh my god,
did you watch the whole interview?I sure did. And I love
him and I have always loved him. I have always felt he's a jacket

(39:08):
with my cannon, maybe at thecounter, maybe on this the chair downstairs,
maybe in the dining room where wasI Kat Williams. He always loved

(39:30):
him, I do, and I'vealways I've always felt a an affinity for
his work. I I have alwaysloved him, and like the more that
I hear about him, mm hmmm, stuff that he hasn't shared, stuff
that just has come up, Likehe fucking adopted all these fucking kids.

(39:51):
He he he pays his openers reallywell. Like I just fuck with the
way that he lives his life.And you know, I think there's nothing
wrong with brutal honesty. Do youthink that everything he was saying is one

(40:13):
hundred percent true? Yes? Youknow some people are saying that it's a
hater energy or whatever. Yeah,And I'm like, you know, it's
hater energy when you when the hitdog hollers. But is it untrue?
Is it untrue? And That's whereI'm at, And I think Kat has

(40:36):
the same thing as me, wherelike, you know, I just can't
abide by a liar. And Icould be quiet and I could be cool
about it, but now you wantto talk about Okay, well then let's
talk about it. I guess,yeah, that's what you want to do.
I wasn't mad about it, butI do love that. The other
thing that he exemplified with that threehour interview that went viral is people really

(41:00):
sat for three hours to listen tothis man talk. It was like,
I have no I don't think I'veever watched a comedy special of his.
I knew who he was every dayI'm hustling. You have to watch that
one. Okay, I'll have tolook for it, because I just was

(41:20):
seeing little clips here and there ofhim saying stuff, and I was like,
Okay, I really liked listening tohim talk, so I was like,
let me go find the whole interviewand listen to it. He was
fascinating. He's a great storyteller,and he's very funny, great storyteller,
very funny, very short. Ijust I just like, I love him.
I didn't realize he was a CincinnatiDayton guy either. Yes, he's

(41:45):
Ohio person, and you know whatit is. I think he just he
just you know, does right bypeople and also just tells the truth.
And and sometimes that truth hurts,you know, And I don't think that

(42:06):
that's a personality flaw. There's oneinterview that he did, it's fucking amazing,
and one of the hosts of theshow tried to like come for him,
just out of nowhere. She saidsomething about his hair or whatever,
and he was like, bitch,first of all, this is all my
hair, and you can come runyour gnarled fingers through it if you'd like.

(42:29):
And then she found herself on thereceiving end of getting ate the fuck
up. But it was just like, why did you fuck with him?
No, he's a guest here inyour house. Why would you do that?
That was dumb to do. Andyou know, some people can misread

(42:50):
that as overly defensive, but youknow, those star no shit won't be
no shit. I think he's aclassic nample of that. That's why I
love them.